A.N.T. Farm (2011) s03e12 Episode Script

Guys, I have exciting news! Guess who's coming to Z-Tech to visit? [Gasping.]
Ooh, is it philatelist Daniel Monteiro, owner of the world's largest collection of stamps depicting birds? Please say yes, please say yes.
Or maybe it's Spanish cubist painter Pablo Picasso! Fletcher, Picasso died.
In 1973.
So he won't say much.
Fletcher, it's obviously not some dead artist.
Is it Spider-Man? Uh, no, it's someone way better than that! Imagine the best person you can possibly imagine and then multiply it by a billion.
It's my brother, Cameron! - Oh! - Bummer.
Lame.
Did I build it up too much? Maybe I built it up too much.
Ooh, ooh.
Ooh.
Doo, doo.
Ooh, ooh.
Ooh.
Doo, doo.
Woo! Everybody's got that thing.
Something different, we all bring.
Don't you let 'em, clip your wings.
You got it! You got it! We're on fire and we blaze, in extraordinary ways.
365 days.
We got it! We got it! You can dream it.
You can be it.
If you can feel it, you can believe it! Because I am, you are, we are Exceptional.
Exceptional! Yeah, I am, you are, we are Exceptional.
Exceptional! Ooh, ooh, ooh.
Ooh, ooh.
Woo! [Music.]
Cameron, I've missed you! I've missed you, too.
Mom and dad say "hi".
They also sent your favorite lasagna.
This dish is empty.
Because it's also my favorite lasagna.
Anyway, I've got some exciting news.
I'm applying to college! Really? As a student or for like a maintenance job? Because frankly, I don't think you're qualified for either.
The point is, I'm hoping to get into film school! But for my application, I have to make a movie.
Well, if there's anything I can do to help, let me know.
Well, there is one thing.
My movie takes place in a boarding school.
And You happen to go to boarding school You want to shoot the movie here? Oh, so that's why you came to visit.
Of course not! I also need you to be in it.
Plus I heard a rumor that Spider-Man was coming! Can I be in it, too? Since I can learn my lines instantly, I'll have more time to lounge in my dressing room and demand coconut shavings! You hate coconut shavings.
Yes, but I love demanding things.
So can I film here? Please? This is my one chance to prove to everyone that I also have a talent.
You mean other than consuming a 12 pound lasagna on a 40 minute bus ride? [Laughing.]
Absolutely, Cameron.
I'll ask Mr.
Grundy, but it won't be a problem.
He and I are super close.
He even gave me this friendship necklace.
Chyna, that's a student badge.
Everyone got one of those.
Well, mine came with friendship, okay? [Groaning.]
[Groaning.]
Oh, no! It's the egg dentist! And he's got his evil bone banjo! [Screaming.]
Angus, Angus, wake up! It's me, Fletcher, from school.
Sorry.
I was having a nightmare.
This the fifth time you've woken me up this week.
Why do you keep having the same bad dream? I don't know, but it doesn't help that you're the last thing I see before going to bed.
Well, I cannot function like this! I get very cranky if I don't get at least eight hours a night Of dreaming about Chyna! Isn't there something I can do to get you to sleep quietly? I don't know if you're asleep, but my legs are.
Mr.
Grundy! I was wondering if my brother, Cameron, could shoot a movie here this week.
Great! Thanks so much! Nope.
Never.
Absolutely not.
What? Why not? Chyna, this is a place of business.
I can't have it cluttered with cameras and wires and "actors".
Plus, we shot something here once and it did not turn out well.
What was it? My online dating video profile.
Mr.
Grundy he has to shoot at a boarding school.
- And I promise nothing will happen - Am I not speaking english? No really, am I not? Because when I'm upset, sometimes I speak in gibberish.
Either way, there will be absolutely no filming here at [speaking gibberish.]
Cameron had his heart set on this.
I mean, he even made up a T-shirt that says "see, mom and dad? I'm not a nobody!" What are you going to do? What choice do I have? There's only one thing I can do.
Great news, Cameron! Mr.
Grundy said you could shoot here! Really? You're the best sister I could ever have.
Except Steven Spielberg's sister, because then I'd be Steven Spielberg.
I'll be right back! Chyna, why would you tell him that? Mr.
Grundy very specifically said "Absolutely no filming here at [speaking gibberish.]
" I wanted to tell Cameron the truth but [Sighing.]
I couldn't break his heart.
So we'll just have to make sure Mr.
Grundy never finds out.
We'll shoot the movie on the sly.
He'll never know.
I'm going to need some help with the rest of my equipment.
The rest? Dad knew a guy who owns a warehouse full of this stuff.
Look, they even threw in these spotlights for free! Hey, look! It's the Hollywood premiere of "you're going to get in trouble!" I wonder how this ends.
I get in trouble? [Scoffing.]
Maybe next time throw a friend a little spoiler alert? [Music.]
Cameron, I don't think you need all these lights.
I mean, you're making a horror movie.
What's scarier than the dark? Ghosts, Vampires, witches, zombies, leprechauns, giraffes, double decker buses, and curly fries.
[Gasping.]
Hey, what is that doing there? I could have broken my neck! Or worse, a heel! Sorry, that's Cameron's.
He's here visiting.
Who is Cameron? Chyna's brother.
You went to school with him for like 10 years.
How can you not remember me? One time you had me dress up as an old man to help you trick a beauty pageant official.
His eyelashes got eaten off by snails in your beauty club.
You hired a marching band so he would friend you online.
Look, I can't be expected to remember every little person I run into.
Anyway, what is all this stuff? - I'm directing a movie and - [Gasping.]
You're directing a movie? Why didn't you tell me that, old friend? Do you have a star yet? Well, you do have the right look for the leading role.
But I need someone who can really scream.
[Laughing.]
I can do that! But I'm a method actress.
So to scream, I just need to think of the most terrifying thing I can.
[Screaming.]
That was spine-tingling! What were you thinking of? You trying to kiss me.
[Screaming.]
You're not going to have that nightmare again, are you? Nope, because I'm too afraid to go to sleep.
Don't worry.
I've rigged a simple system to wake me up if I doze off.
Good! Because I'm exhausted.
[Snoring.]
[Alarm sounding.]
[Beeping.]
[Screaming.]
What was that? My wake-up system.
Why'd you put it over me? So you'd scream and it would wake me up.
Okay, you three are boarding school friends who stay at the deserted campus over spring break.
In this scene, you're looking for clues about the ghost that's haunting the school.
So, what is my character's back story? You play Donna, the rebel.
When the other girls tell you, "don't open that door"! You do it anyway, leading to your gory and immediate death.
Well, I had it coming.
I'll go get the camera.
Okay, since I got Cameron to get rid of those big lights, we can do this thing without drawing any attention to ourselves.
[Horn honking.]
Uh, Cameron.
You know what would really help this scene? If the entire thing were a giant close-up of my face.
[Gasping.]
No.
You should shoot the whole movie just using tiny, hard-to-spot cell phone cameras.
It would be very cutting edge.
I like it.
Especially since I have no idea how to operate this camera.
I was basically using it as a scooter.
Are you filming this? Make sure you get my good side.
And my other good side.
Okay, I'll make sure we get through this scene as quickly as possible.
- You keep an eye out for Mr.
Grundy.
- Oh, are you looking for me? [Both screaming.]
What are you two doing, skulking around in the dark with flashlights? Um, we're just trying to conserve energy.
No need.
This building generates all its own power using a combination of Solar, wind, and that guy.
[Elevator dinging.]
Hey, Bikey! Back to work! [Screaming.]
What in the world is going on here? Okay, look.
I'm really sorry I didn't tell you this before but The truth is The building is haunted! There's a ghost trying to steal our souls! I knew it! I never should have built this school on the grounds of an old, abandoned, haunted Morgue! Why would you do that? It was a great bargain.
Plus all the other billionaires double-dog dared me! Okay, I found a dream interpretation website.
I'm just gonna type in everything you've been dreaming about.
Egg.
Dentist.
Bone banjo So what does it say? [Device beeping.]
You're either pregnant or homesick.
I'm pregnant? No, you're not pregnant! You are a boy! Excuse me, I'm not a biology prodigy! But now that you mention it I have been kind of homesick.
All we have to do is make this room feel as safe and as comfortable as yours back home, then good-bye nightmares! - You think so? - Trust me.
If there is one thing Fletcher Quimby is good at, it's pretending to be good at things I've just learned about.
I can't believe this place is haunted! The only thing scarier than ghosts are giraffes and curly fries! Well, you better leave! Because do you hear that? It's the sound of giraffes screaming.
- Giraffes don't make any noise.
- Exactly! [Whimpering.]
Was that Mr.
Grundy? I want to go talk to him.
What? No.
That was the janitor.
He seemed pretty well dressed to be a janitor.
He must be on his way to the janitor awards, the Sweepies! Yeah, I bet he cleans up there.
Well, I want him in my movie! The fear in his eyes! The terror in his screams! The hope that he'll work for free! I'm going to go talk to him.
No! Let me talk to him.
I don't care how long it takes.
I will not take no for an answer.
[Elevator dinging.]
Sorry, Cameron, but he said no.
It was like talking to a wall.
Or a pair of elevator doors.
I'm starting to think you don't want my movie to be good, do you? You're jealous that you're not the only one in the family with talent.
What? No.
That's ridiculous.
Yeah, Chyna doesn't have any talent.
Then get me that janitor.
You promised to help me.
Okay, okay.
I'll try again.
[Elevator dinging.]
[Elevator dinging.]
It took a lot of convincing.
But he changed his mind.
He'll do it.
Awesome! I'll go write him into the script! Now what are you going to do? I'm just going to have to somehow trick Mr.
Grundy into being a janitor so he can be in the movie, without letting him know he's in the movie.
And keep Cameron from finding out who Mr.
Grundy really is.
Ooh! This "you're going to get in trouble" movie has reached an exciting cliffhanger! [Music.]
- Grundy: There's no such thing as ghosts.
- Mr.
Grundy? There's no such thing as ghosts.
There's no such thing as ghosts.
Mr.
Grundy, it's just me.
Come on.
Look, we cannot let this ghost force us into hiding.
We have to fight back.
I'm not much of a fighter.
I'm more of a lover.
Of running away.
Look, you will be perfectly safe.
All you have to do is put this on.
Janitor coveralls? What? No Those are ghost buster coveralls.
I'm not very good at busting.
Trust me.
Busting makes you feel good.
I don't know.
Maybe we should call someone.
Who you gonna call? Okay, so I've put phones all over the Ant Farm to film the action.
You watch it here, out of sight.
So the janitor won't be intimidated by working with a big-time Director.
A big-time Director is taking over my movie? Yes.
Steven Spielberg is taking over a movie that you wrote in an hour and are shooting on cell phones.
So what's the janitor's line? It's the most important line in the movie.
He needs to say "it's happening again! We're all going to die!" You know what would be even better? If he said "hi, Chyna?" I mean, think about how good that'll sound in the trailer.
Okay, I got it.
"It's happening again! We're all going to die!" Wow, I am a good screenwriter.
If only they had something like the Sweepy Awards for movies.
[Elevator dings.]
Ah! I did some research and you're right.
Cleaning out negative energy is the best way to get rid of ghosts.
[Laughing.]
Of course it is.
You think I would make that up to get you in some silly costume to pretend to be a janitor? [In ghostly voice.]
Get out.
What was that? - It must have been the ghost! - [Trembling.]
- The ghost is in this room! - [Trembling.]
Sweet buttered beans! Oh no! Is it happening again? Yes, it is! - It is what? - Happening.
- What is? - It is.
- It is what? - It is happening.
- When? - Now.
- For the first time? - No, again.
- So, in summary - It is happening again! Yes! Yes! And what do you think is going to happen to us? The ghost could suck us into another dimension! And what is the worst thing that could happen to us there? The ghost could melt our faces off! - And then what would happen? - We'd have no faces! Chyna: Okay, just answer this question At the end of our lives, what is going to happen to all of us? Quite a spiritual and insightful question, Chyna.
But one I don't have time to answer right now because we're all going to die! Yes! Yes! That's great.
- We're all going to die! - [Girl screaming.]
- [Screaming.]
- [Screaming.]
Sweet buttered beans! Sweet buttered beans! Okay, so you don't feel homesick, let's recreate your bedtime routine.
Okay.
I don't want to go to bed! I'm not even tired! This still doesn't feel like home.
Why not? Because my family lives on a houseboat.
I miss the gentle breeze.
The calming motion of the waves And the smell of the salty ocean spray.
Well, I guess I could rig something, and It actually sounds like it could be relaxing.
Ah Home.
How am I going to explain to Lexi's mother and father that she was butchered by a ghost? This is going to make her parent-teacher conference very awkward.
Yeah, can we do that again? I feel like I was just a little too lifeless.
Lexi, you're alive! No, she's not.
Lexi is one of the undead! The ghost has taken over her body! Guys! Quit making up your own lines! You're ruining my movie! This is a movie? You're Chyna's brother.
Chyna, you have a brother? I did not give you permission to shoot here! Of course not.
You're the creepy janitor.
I am not the creepy janitor! I am the creepy CEO! Cameron Mr.
Grundy said we couldn't shoot at Z-Tech.
But you were so excited about making your movie, I didn't have the heart to tell you.
I'm sorry I lied.
To both of you.
Chyna, you are in trouble.
You know, even though you told me how "you're going to get in trouble" was going to end, this is still riveting.
I think my favorite character is Olive, the wisecracking sidekick.
Chyna, you got in trouble just to help me? Suddenly, I feel bad that I ate the whole lasagna.
Not just emotionally, I actually do feel pretty bad.
Thank you.
Mr.
Grundy, I'm sorry, too.
I never would have put you in the movie had I known.
You put me in the movie? Yeah.
You're the best actor in this whole thing.
[Laughing.]
Excuse me, but if he were here I bet the Director, Cameron, would beg to differ.
You really thought I was good? You know, I don't know see why Cameron can't finish the rest of his movie here.
Starring me.
And action! Oh! Gasp! Oh, no! The ghost has stolen the lives of these helpless schoolgirls! I am so scared! Cut! Zoltan, that was incredible.
Totally amazing.
Chyna, that was terrible.
Totally unusable! Well, I think now that he's actually acting, he can't actually act.
Well, this isn't working, I need real terror.
[Elevator dinging.]
Help! Help! He's trying to kill me! Angus, you're in the movie, too? What movie? I'm talking about Fletcher! Where you going, Angus? It's nap time.