American Horror Story s03e12 Episode Script
Go to Hell
FIONA: Your highest honor comes at the greatest price.
Death is not uncommon.
And danger inescapable.
Attempting the Seven Wonders can get you killed.
But perform them, and you are the next Supreme.
[CHUCKLES.]
I don't even need to read your mind to know what you're doing.
You want us to perform the Seven Wonders so that you can find the next Supreme and then kill her.
[SCOFFS.]
Poor, sweet, dumb, paranoid girl.
The awful truth is, I am tired.
Mm-hmm.
Where's Marie Laveau? That's not our business.
It's mine.
The only other black witch in this place goes missing I wanna know what happened.
She's probably off in some unholy nether realm.
Cavorting with that half-baked Beetlejuice.
Ha.
Papa Legaboo-boo, whatever the hell his name is.
Legba.
He's a deity.
Show some respect.
[GAGS.]
Respect is something that is definitely lacking around here.
I will grant you that.
You will show me respect your Supreme until the moment I am replaced.
[PANTING.]
So rest up, little girl.
Take your vitamin B12s, heh.
Your trials begin Saturday morning.
You will perform the Seven Wonders or you will die trying.
Madison? I need your help.
Jesus, Cordelia.
You look like shit.
I can't believe you did that to yourself.
I've been in Misty's room trying to see something.
I've held her boots, hair from her brush.
Nothing.
I hate to be the Debbie Downer, but maybe she's gone.
Or maybe my gift of the sight hasn't come back.
Whoa, that was cool.
I did transmutation.
I didn't have to think about it.
It just happened.
I wouldn't read too much into it, Madison.
You can manifest multiple powers without being the Supreme.
Our powers always spike in times of crisis.
This is one of those times.
Madison, I need to touch you.
Tell the truth, Cordie, are you into girls now? The last time I touched you, I saw things.
What are you afraid I might see? Nothing stays a secret for very long in this house, Madison.
It will come to light whether you want it to or not.
I don't have any secrets.
Then walk over here.
Knock yourself out.
Boom, boom.
Aw.
LAVEAU: That damn buttermilk biscuit.
Thinks she can take me down.
Hell, no.
I'm the queen.
I will rise again.
Mark my words.
My people gonna come for you.
Rip you apart.
Marie? [CHANTING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE.]
What you doing, girl? Give me the box of chicken.
Today, please.
Listen, watch the counter for me.
I'm going on break, okay? What am I doing here? Been asking myself the same thing for 20 years.
Just watch the counter.
What the hell? You're Papa Legba.
You live in a chicken shack? No, darling.
It's not the hell.
It's your hell.
This was the worst time of your life.
Waiting on people who treated you like the piece of trash you thought you were.
No power, no respect.
And no future that you could see.
Just grease in your hair and the smell of lard in your nose.
Look, I came to talk to you about Marie Laveau.
I was told you hang out together.
She ain't here.
There's this thing about being immortal.
Your hell's on Earth.
MAN: Hey, dude.
Just order and get out of the line.
I've been waiting forever for my chicken.
And you can wait some more.
Don't make me put you in the fryer.
Now, go to the back of the line.
See? Everybody gotta pay in the end.
He gets to smell the delicious chicken and never get a bite.
Took some skills to come down here before your time.
Most people be afraid they couldn't get back.
Wait.
I'm not done with you.
It's almost sunup.
Unless you want to stay here forever, you better hurry and get back.
What are you talking about? Been here five minutes.
Time moves differently in hell.
[CHUCKLING.]
WOMAN: I want the jumbo box with butter corn.
No wings, no thighs.
Give me only breasts and legs.
You listening to me? I'm talking to you, bitch.
[PANTING.]
[SNIFFS.]
You made it back.
I'm impressed.
Now that I've proven my power, you're gonna give me some answers.
[SCREAMING.]
Remember you told me you were gonna cut me up in pieces and plant me all over the place? I thought that was a honey of an idea.
There's gotta be a way to kill her.
So long as the voodoo queen live, so do Madame LaLaurie.
More marshmallows.
Then you need to take Marie Laveau out of the equation for me.
Can't do that.
Me and Marie Laveau, we got a deal.
I thought your deal was that, every year, she needs to perform a service for you.
So it is.
She's not gonna be doing anything while she's chopped in pieces and those pieces are scattered all over the city.
Technically, you can say she's in breach, right? You are one crafty witch.
DELPHINE: The elegant and universally admired Madame Delphine LaLaurie was not only a brilliant hostess for high-society soirées but she was also renowned for her remarkable equestrian abilities and her tireless charitable works.
Says here she was a serial killer.
That's a misprint.
When do we see the attic torture chamber? That part of the house is closed off for renovations.
TOURIST: Great.
And there is no torture chamber.
The attic was used for storage.
And occasionally for the firm but humane correction of Madame LaLaurie's domestics.
These wild tales of barbarity you've heard are nothing more than lies invented by her many enemies.
Madame Delphine LaLaurie was a woman ahead of her time.
A visionary.
Misunderstood.
And hated for it.
This way, please.
MAN: Well, that sucked.
WOMAN: Total rip-off.
Thank you for coming.
[SIGHS.]
Hm.
QUEENIE: Psst.
Queenie.
How did you find me? Wasn't hard.
You're a cliché, Delphine.
A dog returns to its vomit.
I see you finally got that makeover.
Guess you figured you could make over history too.
On the contrary.
I'm here to set the record straight.
Heh.
This historical site was nothing but a house of lies before I came back.
GUIDE: This very house, the center of New Orleans' high society was also a place of abject horror.
Madame Delphine LaLaurie earned her place in history alongside such monsters as Jack the Ripper, Ed Gein and Jeffrey Dahmer.
She even looks like a monster.
GUIDE: The inhuman LaLaurie is said to have murdered as many as 150 slaves right here.
Many times while there were extravagant parties going on just below the sounds of music and revelry drowning out the cries of torment.
Horseshit.
You don't believe it? Nobody's gonna waste their time with some uppity Negro and miss a fabulous party.
It beggars all belief.
GUIDE: Thank you for coming.
DELPHINE: Excuse me? Yes? I seem to have mislaid my pocketbook.
I think I set it down upstairs.
I don't see anything.
Are you certain? By the way, it wasn't any 150 slaves that died up here.
I can tell you that.
I'm sorry? It was 62.
I kept a ledger.
I don't understand.
The information you've been feeding these people? Tsk, tsk, tsk.
It's inaccurate.
I want my money back.
GUIDE: Do not touch the display items.
Ma'am, I am gonna have to ask you to leave now.
My own house? [GROANING.]
You have to let this woman go.
What you gonna do? Offer you a second chance.
You don't mean it.
You will never be able to pay for your crimes.
But I'm willing to walk you into the Urban League.
You can offer your services as a volunteer.
You can help descendants of people you brutalized.
[LAUGHING.]
Are you out of your simple mind? It's your only chance for redemption.
Redemption? I know how redemption works in this century.
I seen it all on the magic box.
REPORTER [ON TV.]
: Chef Paula Deen was asked: "Have you ever used the N word?" "Yes, of course," she stated, "but it's been a long time.
" DELPHINE: Agree to be publicly humiliated, all is forgiven.
Last Friday, I tweeted a photo of myself I intended as a joke to a woman in Seattle.
DELPHINE: People have gotten soft weak, lily-livered.
I apologize.
DELPHINE: All anybody has to do nowadays is shed some tears, say some words.
It's called repentance.
Oh, repentance my ass.
You think a man jack among them was well and truly sorry? Not a one.
Sorry they got caught is all.
Nothing but a pack of sniveling hypocrites, as far as I can see.
Not me.
I won't profess to be sorry, because I'm not.
I don't believe that.
I was getting to you before.
I know it.
You made me weep.
But not as you would have it for my supposed sins.
I wept for the state of this world.
A world of lies.
A world that makes promises it cannot keep.
To tell a colored man that he can be equal to a white man? There's the real cruelty.
I'm not going anywhere.
Actually you are.
[SCREAMS.]
Straight to hell.
It's impossible.
I'm immortal.
Wrong.
I don't wanna die.
Tough shit.
Who does? [GROANING.]
I want my portrait hung just there.
Yes.
I knew you'd occupy a prominent place on the wall.
And I didn't want some garish paint-by-numbers by a local.
That's why I flew Claude in from London.
He's done everyone.
Margaret Thatcher.
Sting.
FIONA: What are you doing back there? MYRTLE: You have to balance the frame.
The negative space makes you look more drawn.
Claude trusts my taste.
Well, I don't.
[SNIFFING.]
FIONA: I'm sorry.
Do you need a break? FIONA: No.
No, I'll be fine.
Just a minute.
FIONA: Oh, God.
This is the face they'll be stuck with.
I probably have two weeks left on Earth.
So what the hell am I doing here? [DOOR OPENS.]
Goddamn it, Mother.
What's this I hear about Queenie performing the Seven Wonders on Saturday? Cordelia, please.
Maybe we could be kind to one another for a change, huh? CORDELIA: Oh, heh.
My God, look at you.
My beautiful little girl.
Oh, heh.
Did you really think self-mutilation would restore your power? Right up until I tried it.
You cannot lose your power.
You never will.
It's inside of you.
And it is not something I gave to you.
As much as I'd like to, I cannot take credit for that.
It's all you.
[SIGHS.]
You are just full of surprises, Fiona Goods, you know that? FIONA: Heh.
Well, I have one more.
It's from the vault.
What is it? FIONA: It was my mother's.
Her most precious heirloom, heh.
Grandmother's necklace? Do you remember? Yes.
Of course I do.
When I was a little girl I used to gaze up at her wearing this necklace thinking to myself, "I will never grow to be so transcendent, heh.
" Oh, I know the feeling well.
Here, take it.
You're saying goodbye? Yes, I am.
And I mean it this time.
We both knew it was coming.
Here.
Lift your hair.
I wanna put it on you.
[WOMAN 1 SCREAMS.]
[FOOTSTEPS.]
[WOMAN 2 SCREAMS.]
[FOOTSTEPS.]
[LIQUID DRIPPING.]
What's the matter? Nothing.
I'm fine.
I just Wasn't there a ring that Grandmother used to wear with this? I feel so selfish asking.
[SCOFFS.]
Well, if not now, when, huh? Right.
AXEMAN: Just because you witches can open the locks with your hocus-pocus it doesn't make it polite.
A man shouldn't be disturbed when he's playing with his instrument.
You don't have your mother's features.
Oh, you know who I am? Oh, yes, of course.
We spent quite an evening together.
It's not safe to love my mother, you know.
I speak from experience.
She can't love anyone but herself.
I'm sure the transcendence of my relationship with your mother is hard for you to understand.
But I'm happy that she told you about us.
She didn't tell me anything.
I saw everything.
Everything.
She's gonna kill all of us, and leave you behind too.
FIONA: Unzip me.
Sitting on a porch drinking gin rickeys.
CORDELIA: She's not going to run away with you.
Whatever fantasy you have about who she is and what you are to her, it's all bullshit.
She used you.
All she does is use people.
It's nothing.
It was just a piece of paper, just as light as air.
That flight leaves in two days.
You think she might have let you know you were leaving.
I don't suspect you have a passport ready.
She is going to regain her power, and when she does she's not going to waste her time on some halfway decent musician in a $12 suit.
You feel that? That empty, heartbroken feeling? That's what it feels like to get close to Fiona.
CORDELIA: Come on, Misty, give me a hint.
MISTY [SINGING.]
: And I saw my reflection In the snow-covered hills Till the landslide brought me down I see you.
I see you.
Where are you? Take my love, take it down I climbed a mountain And I turned around QUEENIE: How are we gonna get her out of there? CORDELIA: With a jackhammer, if we have to.
I'm gonna go find a maintenance man.
No, no.
Just us.
You mean just me, and I don't have a jackhammer.
Stop being so literal and remember who you are.
When the rest of the world sees a wall, we see a window.
That's it.
Keep going.
Is she alive? QUEENIE: It's hard to tell.
Misty.
She's not breathing.
Oh, God.
Uhn.
Okay.
Okay.
[CHANTING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE.]
[BLOWS AIR.]
[GASPS.]
[COUGHING.]
That's deadly nightshade you're about to ingest through your nostrils.
I wouldn't sniff around unless you're looking for a bout of delirium.
Sounds like every Saturday night since I was 15.
Where is everybody? Our beloved Cordelia has regained second sight.
She's off with Queenie to try and rescue Misty Day.
Apparently, the poor girl has been entombed.
Who would have been cruel enough to commit such an atrocity? I have no idea.
I just hope they get to her in time.
I heard people die after three days without water.
Please tell me this is a hallucination driven by my bouquet of Atropa belladonna.
Zoe, you can't possibly be back at the Robichaux Academy.
I won't allow it.
You were supposed to spend your days in romantic splendor with your true love.
You're just like Halston when he sold his brand to JC Penney.
You've forsaken your destiny.
No, Myrtle, I've embraced it.
We made it to Florida.
What better than the Sunshine State to cast darkness out of our lives? ZOE: You dripped.
You bit it off.
MAN: Hey, you're in my spot.
Get out of here.
I wanna sleep.
We're leaving.
You, don't talk to me.
Don't talk to me.
ZOE: Kyle, no! What a surprise.
Your pit bull mauled somebody.
Is that why you came back, because you can't handle him? No.
I came back because there's no escaping what I am.
[ZOE CHANTING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE.]
[COUGHING.]
I came back because I'm clearly the next Supreme.
[ZOE SCOFFS THEN DOOR OPENS.]
You bitch.
You thought I was some rat you could leave to die? Yes, heh.
Girls, stop these vulgar fisticuffs at once.
It's beneath us.
Cordelia? I'm good.
I don't wanna waste magic on you.
I can do you with my hands.
[MADISON YELLING.]
You hit like a girl! [BOTH GROANING AND GRUNTING.]
[SCREAMING.]
This is awesome.
No, it's not.
Stop! Come on.
Get up, Hollywood.
MADISON: Ow! [SCREAMING.]
Enough! You! You must pay for what you've done! Wow, did you walk into the wrong house.
Yaah! [SCREAMING.]
Who the hell is this guy? CORDELIA: I know that voice.
It's the Axeman.
I thought you banished his soul to appropriate nether realms? CORDELIA: No, he's on the mortal coil.
I'll kill all of you! Is that blood? Not his.
Then whose? How could you do this to me? This blood is my mother's.
[DOOR CLOSES IN DISTANCE.]
[DOOR CREAKS OPEN.]
[SIRENS WAILING IN DISTANCE.]
Heh, it's quiet.
I don't remember the last time I was here when there wasn't music playing.
You pack your wading boots? What? Because I wanna take you fishing.
Heh, fishing.
Yeah.
Yeah, fishing.
For catfish.
Catfish.
Mm-hm.
Yeah.
When you fry them, the batter, it has to be crunchy, never greasy.
I don't like catfish.
I loathe all bottom-feeders.
Well, then I'll go boar hunting.
While you're sitting on a porch drinking gin rickeys, huh? Gin rickeys, heh.
Unzip me.
Your daughter, she paid me a visit.
[SIGHS.]
Please tell me she's in the bathtub.
She's pretty, but she doesn't have your cheekbones.
She came, I guess, to rile me up.
I imagine she wanted me to do her dirty work for her.
FIONA: What is the world coming to, huh when the Supreme's daughter, heh, has to outsource her own killings? [EXHALES.]
We had a deal.
It wasn't on paper.
It wasn't stamped by a notary, but we had a deal.
And what, Cordelia has convinced you otherwise? Why do they insist on always putting me in Seat 1A? Well, I guess the cat is out of the bag, huh? I mean, I was gonna tell you.
You have been the most delightful distraction.
A life preserver.
But I'm gonna be on dry land soon.
Can't you at least pretend? Just humor me for a while? I guess I loved you.
Although, I really don't know anything about love if I'm gonna be honest.
But you were the sweetest of lovers.
The best I ever had.
And I'll miss that.
Let's be realistic.
When the new Supreme is dead I'll have 30 years of vitality until another one comes along.
And the doors of every palace are gonna open for me.
I mean, hell, I know you've got all this to offer but come on, you and I both knew that this would never-- [SCREAMS.]
Son of a bitch.
Let go of me.
I love you.
Oh, Jesus.
I know you love me.
I don't! Christ, I was sick.
I just needed to feel something.
That was all.
Shit.
[BOTH PANTING.]
I made you die those little deaths for the first time in your sorry life.
I made you sing when you had no tunes left in you.
Get off of me.
Get off of me.
Get off of me, you son of a bitch.
No! Christ.
No tears, old boy.
What you're doing is a crime against humanity.
A betrayal of the true heart of love.
Well, I've never been one for love, true or otherwise.
I live in a floating world, you know? Always two steps ahead of heartbreak.
[CHUCKLES.]
When I was 8 years old [PANTING.]
my mother brought me a little calico cat.
[GROANING AND GRUNTING.]
MADISON: Holy shit.
So she's really gone.
Does anyone feel any different? Where's the body? In the swamps.
He fed her to the alligators.
Jesus.
MISTY: Well, that's it, then.
Even I can't bring somebody back once they're gator shit.
Okay.
So who wants to do this? Somebody's gotta kill this creep.
MYRTLE: Oh, bloody-blood-blood all day in this place.
Is that really necessary? Yeah.
He's a psycho mass murderer.
Is there anyone here of whom that could not be said? This poor troubled soul has saved this coven by doing away with Fiona.
And as Cervantes once said, "Where there's music, there can be no evil.
" Cervantes never met this asshole.
I'm coven guard dog.
I'll kill him.
No.
I'll do it.
We really don't need a man to protect us.
Nobody messes with our coven! [STABBING CONTINUES.]
DELPHINE: Please, no.
No! Let me go! No! Wait, please.
Oh, God.
No.
[DELPHINE SCREAMING.]
God, why this? BORQUITA: Mother? DELPHINE [CRYING.]
: Borquita, my sweet child.
I know I mistreated you in the past.
Oh, but there's no greater pain than being this close and not being able to reach you and to comfort you.
Oh, I'm consumed with regret.
BORQUITA: Why are they doing this to us? Because we can.
Behold the kingdom of the family LaLaurie.
Please, I'm so thirsty.
Please, so thirsty.
Give her something to drink, you animal! [GROANING.]
[SCREAMS.]
[CRYING.]
LAVEAU: Mm.
[BORQUITA WHIMPERING.]
LAVEAU: Are you hungry too? I'll slice off one of your mama's fingers and feed it to you.
DELPHINE: You monster.
Yes, I have sinned.
I gave no quarter.
But torturing a mama's babies in front of her? Even when I killed that little high yellow bastard I spared his mammy from seeing it.
Please, no.
Have mercy on my soul.
This ain't for you.
But I will let you choose whether I slide it down her throat or up her backside.
BORQUITA: No, please.
Mother! No.
No! DELPHINE: Oh, no.
BORQUITA: No! No! DELPHINE: Oh, God, no.
Please, not my daughter, please.
No.
[GASPS.]
How did I get here? No, no, no.
I don't wanna do that.
That girl ain't never done nothing to me.
I don't wanna do this.
You will do as you are tasked.
It is your soul's purpose, because I own it.
Who is this man? What is this place? Congratulations, Madame Delphine LaLaurie.
You have been granted your sweet release from the world of the mortal.
And as punishment for your crimes of murder, torture, passion, fashion and being an all-around, no-good miserable bitch you will spend all of eternity here in my home.
It is my home.
No, it's mine.
Welcome to hell.
No, that can't be true.
I can't die.
We have a contract.
One you can no longer fulfill.
But I was good to people.
I protected so many.
How many little babies did you bring to me every year? No one gets away with sin.
Heh.
[SCREAMING IN DISTANCE.]
Eventually, everybody pays.
Everybody suffers.
Now get back to work.
[LAUGHING.]
BORQUITA: No, please.
Mother! No! [SCREAMING.]
BORQUITA: No! [SCREAMING.]
CORDELIA: How does she look? MYRTLE: Magnificent.
I wish you could see it.
CORDELIA: I can.
I can see it through you.
She was so beautiful.
ZOE: She was a great Supreme.
QUEENIE: A lot to live up to.
Ah, one of the best.
She was a force to be reckoned with, but she was a horrible Supreme.
She shirked all of her responsibility, including the most important: identifying her successor.
So it will be up to us to find our new leader.
And the only way is through the test of Seven Wonders.
And since it could be any one of you, you will all be tested.
The Seven Wonders.
Sunday at dawn, it begins.
Everyone participates.
And by next week, we will have a new Supreme.
Death is not uncommon.
And danger inescapable.
Attempting the Seven Wonders can get you killed.
But perform them, and you are the next Supreme.
[CHUCKLES.]
I don't even need to read your mind to know what you're doing.
You want us to perform the Seven Wonders so that you can find the next Supreme and then kill her.
[SCOFFS.]
Poor, sweet, dumb, paranoid girl.
The awful truth is, I am tired.
Mm-hmm.
Where's Marie Laveau? That's not our business.
It's mine.
The only other black witch in this place goes missing I wanna know what happened.
She's probably off in some unholy nether realm.
Cavorting with that half-baked Beetlejuice.
Ha.
Papa Legaboo-boo, whatever the hell his name is.
Legba.
He's a deity.
Show some respect.
[GAGS.]
Respect is something that is definitely lacking around here.
I will grant you that.
You will show me respect your Supreme until the moment I am replaced.
[PANTING.]
So rest up, little girl.
Take your vitamin B12s, heh.
Your trials begin Saturday morning.
You will perform the Seven Wonders or you will die trying.
Madison? I need your help.
Jesus, Cordelia.
You look like shit.
I can't believe you did that to yourself.
I've been in Misty's room trying to see something.
I've held her boots, hair from her brush.
Nothing.
I hate to be the Debbie Downer, but maybe she's gone.
Or maybe my gift of the sight hasn't come back.
Whoa, that was cool.
I did transmutation.
I didn't have to think about it.
It just happened.
I wouldn't read too much into it, Madison.
You can manifest multiple powers without being the Supreme.
Our powers always spike in times of crisis.
This is one of those times.
Madison, I need to touch you.
Tell the truth, Cordie, are you into girls now? The last time I touched you, I saw things.
What are you afraid I might see? Nothing stays a secret for very long in this house, Madison.
It will come to light whether you want it to or not.
I don't have any secrets.
Then walk over here.
Knock yourself out.
Boom, boom.
Aw.
LAVEAU: That damn buttermilk biscuit.
Thinks she can take me down.
Hell, no.
I'm the queen.
I will rise again.
Mark my words.
My people gonna come for you.
Rip you apart.
Marie? [CHANTING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE.]
What you doing, girl? Give me the box of chicken.
Today, please.
Listen, watch the counter for me.
I'm going on break, okay? What am I doing here? Been asking myself the same thing for 20 years.
Just watch the counter.
What the hell? You're Papa Legba.
You live in a chicken shack? No, darling.
It's not the hell.
It's your hell.
This was the worst time of your life.
Waiting on people who treated you like the piece of trash you thought you were.
No power, no respect.
And no future that you could see.
Just grease in your hair and the smell of lard in your nose.
Look, I came to talk to you about Marie Laveau.
I was told you hang out together.
She ain't here.
There's this thing about being immortal.
Your hell's on Earth.
MAN: Hey, dude.
Just order and get out of the line.
I've been waiting forever for my chicken.
And you can wait some more.
Don't make me put you in the fryer.
Now, go to the back of the line.
See? Everybody gotta pay in the end.
He gets to smell the delicious chicken and never get a bite.
Took some skills to come down here before your time.
Most people be afraid they couldn't get back.
Wait.
I'm not done with you.
It's almost sunup.
Unless you want to stay here forever, you better hurry and get back.
What are you talking about? Been here five minutes.
Time moves differently in hell.
[CHUCKLING.]
WOMAN: I want the jumbo box with butter corn.
No wings, no thighs.
Give me only breasts and legs.
You listening to me? I'm talking to you, bitch.
[PANTING.]
[SNIFFS.]
You made it back.
I'm impressed.
Now that I've proven my power, you're gonna give me some answers.
[SCREAMING.]
Remember you told me you were gonna cut me up in pieces and plant me all over the place? I thought that was a honey of an idea.
There's gotta be a way to kill her.
So long as the voodoo queen live, so do Madame LaLaurie.
More marshmallows.
Then you need to take Marie Laveau out of the equation for me.
Can't do that.
Me and Marie Laveau, we got a deal.
I thought your deal was that, every year, she needs to perform a service for you.
So it is.
She's not gonna be doing anything while she's chopped in pieces and those pieces are scattered all over the city.
Technically, you can say she's in breach, right? You are one crafty witch.
DELPHINE: The elegant and universally admired Madame Delphine LaLaurie was not only a brilliant hostess for high-society soirées but she was also renowned for her remarkable equestrian abilities and her tireless charitable works.
Says here she was a serial killer.
That's a misprint.
When do we see the attic torture chamber? That part of the house is closed off for renovations.
TOURIST: Great.
And there is no torture chamber.
The attic was used for storage.
And occasionally for the firm but humane correction of Madame LaLaurie's domestics.
These wild tales of barbarity you've heard are nothing more than lies invented by her many enemies.
Madame Delphine LaLaurie was a woman ahead of her time.
A visionary.
Misunderstood.
And hated for it.
This way, please.
MAN: Well, that sucked.
WOMAN: Total rip-off.
Thank you for coming.
[SIGHS.]
Hm.
QUEENIE: Psst.
Queenie.
How did you find me? Wasn't hard.
You're a cliché, Delphine.
A dog returns to its vomit.
I see you finally got that makeover.
Guess you figured you could make over history too.
On the contrary.
I'm here to set the record straight.
Heh.
This historical site was nothing but a house of lies before I came back.
GUIDE: This very house, the center of New Orleans' high society was also a place of abject horror.
Madame Delphine LaLaurie earned her place in history alongside such monsters as Jack the Ripper, Ed Gein and Jeffrey Dahmer.
She even looks like a monster.
GUIDE: The inhuman LaLaurie is said to have murdered as many as 150 slaves right here.
Many times while there were extravagant parties going on just below the sounds of music and revelry drowning out the cries of torment.
Horseshit.
You don't believe it? Nobody's gonna waste their time with some uppity Negro and miss a fabulous party.
It beggars all belief.
GUIDE: Thank you for coming.
DELPHINE: Excuse me? Yes? I seem to have mislaid my pocketbook.
I think I set it down upstairs.
I don't see anything.
Are you certain? By the way, it wasn't any 150 slaves that died up here.
I can tell you that.
I'm sorry? It was 62.
I kept a ledger.
I don't understand.
The information you've been feeding these people? Tsk, tsk, tsk.
It's inaccurate.
I want my money back.
GUIDE: Do not touch the display items.
Ma'am, I am gonna have to ask you to leave now.
My own house? [GROANING.]
You have to let this woman go.
What you gonna do? Offer you a second chance.
You don't mean it.
You will never be able to pay for your crimes.
But I'm willing to walk you into the Urban League.
You can offer your services as a volunteer.
You can help descendants of people you brutalized.
[LAUGHING.]
Are you out of your simple mind? It's your only chance for redemption.
Redemption? I know how redemption works in this century.
I seen it all on the magic box.
REPORTER [ON TV.]
: Chef Paula Deen was asked: "Have you ever used the N word?" "Yes, of course," she stated, "but it's been a long time.
" DELPHINE: Agree to be publicly humiliated, all is forgiven.
Last Friday, I tweeted a photo of myself I intended as a joke to a woman in Seattle.
DELPHINE: People have gotten soft weak, lily-livered.
I apologize.
DELPHINE: All anybody has to do nowadays is shed some tears, say some words.
It's called repentance.
Oh, repentance my ass.
You think a man jack among them was well and truly sorry? Not a one.
Sorry they got caught is all.
Nothing but a pack of sniveling hypocrites, as far as I can see.
Not me.
I won't profess to be sorry, because I'm not.
I don't believe that.
I was getting to you before.
I know it.
You made me weep.
But not as you would have it for my supposed sins.
I wept for the state of this world.
A world of lies.
A world that makes promises it cannot keep.
To tell a colored man that he can be equal to a white man? There's the real cruelty.
I'm not going anywhere.
Actually you are.
[SCREAMS.]
Straight to hell.
It's impossible.
I'm immortal.
Wrong.
I don't wanna die.
Tough shit.
Who does? [GROANING.]
I want my portrait hung just there.
Yes.
I knew you'd occupy a prominent place on the wall.
And I didn't want some garish paint-by-numbers by a local.
That's why I flew Claude in from London.
He's done everyone.
Margaret Thatcher.
Sting.
FIONA: What are you doing back there? MYRTLE: You have to balance the frame.
The negative space makes you look more drawn.
Claude trusts my taste.
Well, I don't.
[SNIFFING.]
FIONA: I'm sorry.
Do you need a break? FIONA: No.
No, I'll be fine.
Just a minute.
FIONA: Oh, God.
This is the face they'll be stuck with.
I probably have two weeks left on Earth.
So what the hell am I doing here? [DOOR OPENS.]
Goddamn it, Mother.
What's this I hear about Queenie performing the Seven Wonders on Saturday? Cordelia, please.
Maybe we could be kind to one another for a change, huh? CORDELIA: Oh, heh.
My God, look at you.
My beautiful little girl.
Oh, heh.
Did you really think self-mutilation would restore your power? Right up until I tried it.
You cannot lose your power.
You never will.
It's inside of you.
And it is not something I gave to you.
As much as I'd like to, I cannot take credit for that.
It's all you.
[SIGHS.]
You are just full of surprises, Fiona Goods, you know that? FIONA: Heh.
Well, I have one more.
It's from the vault.
What is it? FIONA: It was my mother's.
Her most precious heirloom, heh.
Grandmother's necklace? Do you remember? Yes.
Of course I do.
When I was a little girl I used to gaze up at her wearing this necklace thinking to myself, "I will never grow to be so transcendent, heh.
" Oh, I know the feeling well.
Here, take it.
You're saying goodbye? Yes, I am.
And I mean it this time.
We both knew it was coming.
Here.
Lift your hair.
I wanna put it on you.
[WOMAN 1 SCREAMS.]
[FOOTSTEPS.]
[WOMAN 2 SCREAMS.]
[FOOTSTEPS.]
[LIQUID DRIPPING.]
What's the matter? Nothing.
I'm fine.
I just Wasn't there a ring that Grandmother used to wear with this? I feel so selfish asking.
[SCOFFS.]
Well, if not now, when, huh? Right.
AXEMAN: Just because you witches can open the locks with your hocus-pocus it doesn't make it polite.
A man shouldn't be disturbed when he's playing with his instrument.
You don't have your mother's features.
Oh, you know who I am? Oh, yes, of course.
We spent quite an evening together.
It's not safe to love my mother, you know.
I speak from experience.
She can't love anyone but herself.
I'm sure the transcendence of my relationship with your mother is hard for you to understand.
But I'm happy that she told you about us.
She didn't tell me anything.
I saw everything.
Everything.
She's gonna kill all of us, and leave you behind too.
FIONA: Unzip me.
Sitting on a porch drinking gin rickeys.
CORDELIA: She's not going to run away with you.
Whatever fantasy you have about who she is and what you are to her, it's all bullshit.
She used you.
All she does is use people.
It's nothing.
It was just a piece of paper, just as light as air.
That flight leaves in two days.
You think she might have let you know you were leaving.
I don't suspect you have a passport ready.
She is going to regain her power, and when she does she's not going to waste her time on some halfway decent musician in a $12 suit.
You feel that? That empty, heartbroken feeling? That's what it feels like to get close to Fiona.
CORDELIA: Come on, Misty, give me a hint.
MISTY [SINGING.]
: And I saw my reflection In the snow-covered hills Till the landslide brought me down I see you.
I see you.
Where are you? Take my love, take it down I climbed a mountain And I turned around QUEENIE: How are we gonna get her out of there? CORDELIA: With a jackhammer, if we have to.
I'm gonna go find a maintenance man.
No, no.
Just us.
You mean just me, and I don't have a jackhammer.
Stop being so literal and remember who you are.
When the rest of the world sees a wall, we see a window.
That's it.
Keep going.
Is she alive? QUEENIE: It's hard to tell.
Misty.
She's not breathing.
Oh, God.
Uhn.
Okay.
Okay.
[CHANTING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE.]
[BLOWS AIR.]
[GASPS.]
[COUGHING.]
That's deadly nightshade you're about to ingest through your nostrils.
I wouldn't sniff around unless you're looking for a bout of delirium.
Sounds like every Saturday night since I was 15.
Where is everybody? Our beloved Cordelia has regained second sight.
She's off with Queenie to try and rescue Misty Day.
Apparently, the poor girl has been entombed.
Who would have been cruel enough to commit such an atrocity? I have no idea.
I just hope they get to her in time.
I heard people die after three days without water.
Please tell me this is a hallucination driven by my bouquet of Atropa belladonna.
Zoe, you can't possibly be back at the Robichaux Academy.
I won't allow it.
You were supposed to spend your days in romantic splendor with your true love.
You're just like Halston when he sold his brand to JC Penney.
You've forsaken your destiny.
No, Myrtle, I've embraced it.
We made it to Florida.
What better than the Sunshine State to cast darkness out of our lives? ZOE: You dripped.
You bit it off.
MAN: Hey, you're in my spot.
Get out of here.
I wanna sleep.
We're leaving.
You, don't talk to me.
Don't talk to me.
ZOE: Kyle, no! What a surprise.
Your pit bull mauled somebody.
Is that why you came back, because you can't handle him? No.
I came back because there's no escaping what I am.
[ZOE CHANTING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE.]
[COUGHING.]
I came back because I'm clearly the next Supreme.
[ZOE SCOFFS THEN DOOR OPENS.]
You bitch.
You thought I was some rat you could leave to die? Yes, heh.
Girls, stop these vulgar fisticuffs at once.
It's beneath us.
Cordelia? I'm good.
I don't wanna waste magic on you.
I can do you with my hands.
[MADISON YELLING.]
You hit like a girl! [BOTH GROANING AND GRUNTING.]
[SCREAMING.]
This is awesome.
No, it's not.
Stop! Come on.
Get up, Hollywood.
MADISON: Ow! [SCREAMING.]
Enough! You! You must pay for what you've done! Wow, did you walk into the wrong house.
Yaah! [SCREAMING.]
Who the hell is this guy? CORDELIA: I know that voice.
It's the Axeman.
I thought you banished his soul to appropriate nether realms? CORDELIA: No, he's on the mortal coil.
I'll kill all of you! Is that blood? Not his.
Then whose? How could you do this to me? This blood is my mother's.
[DOOR CLOSES IN DISTANCE.]
[DOOR CREAKS OPEN.]
[SIRENS WAILING IN DISTANCE.]
Heh, it's quiet.
I don't remember the last time I was here when there wasn't music playing.
You pack your wading boots? What? Because I wanna take you fishing.
Heh, fishing.
Yeah.
Yeah, fishing.
For catfish.
Catfish.
Mm-hm.
Yeah.
When you fry them, the batter, it has to be crunchy, never greasy.
I don't like catfish.
I loathe all bottom-feeders.
Well, then I'll go boar hunting.
While you're sitting on a porch drinking gin rickeys, huh? Gin rickeys, heh.
Unzip me.
Your daughter, she paid me a visit.
[SIGHS.]
Please tell me she's in the bathtub.
She's pretty, but she doesn't have your cheekbones.
She came, I guess, to rile me up.
I imagine she wanted me to do her dirty work for her.
FIONA: What is the world coming to, huh when the Supreme's daughter, heh, has to outsource her own killings? [EXHALES.]
We had a deal.
It wasn't on paper.
It wasn't stamped by a notary, but we had a deal.
And what, Cordelia has convinced you otherwise? Why do they insist on always putting me in Seat 1A? Well, I guess the cat is out of the bag, huh? I mean, I was gonna tell you.
You have been the most delightful distraction.
A life preserver.
But I'm gonna be on dry land soon.
Can't you at least pretend? Just humor me for a while? I guess I loved you.
Although, I really don't know anything about love if I'm gonna be honest.
But you were the sweetest of lovers.
The best I ever had.
And I'll miss that.
Let's be realistic.
When the new Supreme is dead I'll have 30 years of vitality until another one comes along.
And the doors of every palace are gonna open for me.
I mean, hell, I know you've got all this to offer but come on, you and I both knew that this would never-- [SCREAMS.]
Son of a bitch.
Let go of me.
I love you.
Oh, Jesus.
I know you love me.
I don't! Christ, I was sick.
I just needed to feel something.
That was all.
Shit.
[BOTH PANTING.]
I made you die those little deaths for the first time in your sorry life.
I made you sing when you had no tunes left in you.
Get off of me.
Get off of me.
Get off of me, you son of a bitch.
No! Christ.
No tears, old boy.
What you're doing is a crime against humanity.
A betrayal of the true heart of love.
Well, I've never been one for love, true or otherwise.
I live in a floating world, you know? Always two steps ahead of heartbreak.
[CHUCKLES.]
When I was 8 years old [PANTING.]
my mother brought me a little calico cat.
[GROANING AND GRUNTING.]
MADISON: Holy shit.
So she's really gone.
Does anyone feel any different? Where's the body? In the swamps.
He fed her to the alligators.
Jesus.
MISTY: Well, that's it, then.
Even I can't bring somebody back once they're gator shit.
Okay.
So who wants to do this? Somebody's gotta kill this creep.
MYRTLE: Oh, bloody-blood-blood all day in this place.
Is that really necessary? Yeah.
He's a psycho mass murderer.
Is there anyone here of whom that could not be said? This poor troubled soul has saved this coven by doing away with Fiona.
And as Cervantes once said, "Where there's music, there can be no evil.
" Cervantes never met this asshole.
I'm coven guard dog.
I'll kill him.
No.
I'll do it.
We really don't need a man to protect us.
Nobody messes with our coven! [STABBING CONTINUES.]
DELPHINE: Please, no.
No! Let me go! No! Wait, please.
Oh, God.
No.
[DELPHINE SCREAMING.]
God, why this? BORQUITA: Mother? DELPHINE [CRYING.]
: Borquita, my sweet child.
I know I mistreated you in the past.
Oh, but there's no greater pain than being this close and not being able to reach you and to comfort you.
Oh, I'm consumed with regret.
BORQUITA: Why are they doing this to us? Because we can.
Behold the kingdom of the family LaLaurie.
Please, I'm so thirsty.
Please, so thirsty.
Give her something to drink, you animal! [GROANING.]
[SCREAMS.]
[CRYING.]
LAVEAU: Mm.
[BORQUITA WHIMPERING.]
LAVEAU: Are you hungry too? I'll slice off one of your mama's fingers and feed it to you.
DELPHINE: You monster.
Yes, I have sinned.
I gave no quarter.
But torturing a mama's babies in front of her? Even when I killed that little high yellow bastard I spared his mammy from seeing it.
Please, no.
Have mercy on my soul.
This ain't for you.
But I will let you choose whether I slide it down her throat or up her backside.
BORQUITA: No, please.
Mother! No.
No! DELPHINE: Oh, no.
BORQUITA: No! No! DELPHINE: Oh, God, no.
Please, not my daughter, please.
No.
[GASPS.]
How did I get here? No, no, no.
I don't wanna do that.
That girl ain't never done nothing to me.
I don't wanna do this.
You will do as you are tasked.
It is your soul's purpose, because I own it.
Who is this man? What is this place? Congratulations, Madame Delphine LaLaurie.
You have been granted your sweet release from the world of the mortal.
And as punishment for your crimes of murder, torture, passion, fashion and being an all-around, no-good miserable bitch you will spend all of eternity here in my home.
It is my home.
No, it's mine.
Welcome to hell.
No, that can't be true.
I can't die.
We have a contract.
One you can no longer fulfill.
But I was good to people.
I protected so many.
How many little babies did you bring to me every year? No one gets away with sin.
Heh.
[SCREAMING IN DISTANCE.]
Eventually, everybody pays.
Everybody suffers.
Now get back to work.
[LAUGHING.]
BORQUITA: No, please.
Mother! No! [SCREAMING.]
BORQUITA: No! [SCREAMING.]
CORDELIA: How does she look? MYRTLE: Magnificent.
I wish you could see it.
CORDELIA: I can.
I can see it through you.
She was so beautiful.
ZOE: She was a great Supreme.
QUEENIE: A lot to live up to.
Ah, one of the best.
She was a force to be reckoned with, but she was a horrible Supreme.
She shirked all of her responsibility, including the most important: identifying her successor.
So it will be up to us to find our new leader.
And the only way is through the test of Seven Wonders.
And since it could be any one of you, you will all be tested.
The Seven Wonders.
Sunday at dawn, it begins.
Everyone participates.
And by next week, we will have a new Supreme.