Better Things (2016) s03e12 Episode Script
Shake the Cocktail
1 Doop, bah-wah deep, bah, boo-wah-da-ba-deep, bah Doop, bah-wah, deep, bah, bah-bah-dah-bah, doop, bah Doop, bah-wah, deep, bah, boop, bah-bah-dah, bah-day Huggin', kissin', always missin' Lovin' you is worth the dissin' How we gonna be the bluest star? Home Is In Your heart Home Is In Your heart Doop, bah-wah deep, bah, boo-wah-da-ba-deep, bah Doop, bah-wah, deep, bah, boop, bah-bah, deep, bah Doop, bah-wah, deep, bah, boop, bah-bah-dah, bah-day In a trance, I call you nearer Not a witch, but love you dearer He's a man and solid in his own Home Is In Your heart (fading): Home Is (birds chirping) (phone whooshes) (snorting groan) (sighs) (Ollivier snoring) (sighs) (Sam sighs) (sniffs) Mom.
What are you doing? Frankie hasn't written me, and it's been eight days.
Nothing.
I just wanted to see if she wrote you.
No, she hasn't.
I'd tell you.
I promise.
She texted me yesterday, and I told you about it.
(sighs) I hate this.
She's okay.
She's been going to school.
Mm.
I know.
She's just having a moment You know how she is.
She'll be back, and you'll wish she was gone again.
Mm.
SAM (whispers): Thanks, kid.
(sniffs) Oy.
Bye.
Oh, he's so cute.
(laughs): Mom.
- (Ollivier groans) - Oh, my God.
(Ollivier groaning rhythmically) (groaning stops) Haters to the left, please step aside Haters bye-bye, don't kill my vibe SAM: She's, like, icing me out completely.
There's, like, ants crawling around under my skin.
I still don't know why she left or what she's so mad about.
- (speaking Mandarin) - (girl repeating Mandarin words) WOMAN: So, when the warrior girl was introduced to the rainforest, she learned how to make all kinds of medicine.
She started with (speaking Mandarin) RICH: This is insane.
Do you know I've been turned away from this place three times, and these people are getting away with this? I don't care.
I still only ever want to eat here.
Okay.
Hello.
Over here.
Here.
- Thank you.
- Sorry.
Just a tad distracting.
It's okay.
So, anyway, there's this, like, little underground network of kids who are, like, giving me tips on sightings and helping her out Look, honey, she's the most self-sufficient kid in the world She's gonna be president - of AmeriChina one day.
- WOMAN: Can you say that? (speaking Mandarin) (woman continues in Mandarin) Oh, my God.
(laughing) God.
What are you doing? I'm just sending this video.
I mean, do you have to be on your phone the whole time? Who are you sending these videos to? I mean, can you just be here? With me? Put your phone down? Are you constantly texting with Evan? Don't call him that.
Sam, say his name.
What? Say his name.
Jesus.
Alan.
Sense of humor much? Thank you.
I'm just gonna send this to him while he's on his way.
He's gonna die that he's gonna see this - live and in person.
- Wait.
What do you mean? You invited him to our lunch? What is your problem? Look, I'm happy that you're happy with Evan, but this was supposed to be our lunch.
- I mean - I don't get it.
(sighs) What? What don't you get? - I don't believe you.
- I didn't say anything bad.
I disagree.
I think your whole attitude is bad.
Can you say anything good? Can you say something good about him? Sam? Can you say anything good about the person who's making me so fucking happy right now? Sam.
He has very clean hair.
Well, we're just gonna have to spend less time together.
Because I want to be with him every chance I get.
Okay, fine.
That's cool.
Less time.
You want me to stay single forever, just for you.
- He's 24.
- You're shtupping your therapist.
Hi-yee! (groans): Oh.
Hi.
Hi.
Here.
This is your lunch.
I have to go.
Okay.
You guys suck.
Haters to the left - Please step aside - Hi.
Haters bye-bye, don't kill my vibe Why can't we get along? Hi, Sam.
Hi, Frankie.
(gasps) Your nails look so good.
Makes me feel so pretty.
Um I got you some pita and water.
Thank you, darling.
Did you hear? Another school shooting.
Colorado.
That's so scary.
A teacher fed his students cookies laced with his semen.
(takes deep breath) What a world.
Haters to my right, I just wave hi Then I blow 'em up like dynamite Blow 'em up! Whoo-pow, ta-dow, get lost Ah A paradox here (doorbell rings) Just in case him trying waste my time Don't take it personal - Hi.
- Hey, Sil! Hi! - How are you? - I'm good! Mom, Sil's here.
- Hi, Sil.
- Hey.
How's it going? How you doing? Uh, you know she's not here, right? Yeah, I know.
So, you didn't hear it from me, but Frankie and I are meeting.
I'm gonna tutor her for a couple hours.
I just wanted you to know.
And other than that, she's all caught up in her schoolwork.
She's pulling all A's.
SAM: Oh, wow, that's really good.
Did she say anything about when she might be coming home? Oh, man.
She hasn't talked to you? (sighs) Nothing.
Oh, wow.
Thought she was talking to you sometimes, at least, or texting.
- Nothing.
You're my raven.
- I'm sorry, Sam.
I feel bad.
But if it's any consolation, I put my parents through hell.
- Hmm.
- And I turned out okay.
Yeah, you really did.
That does make me feel better.
But I see how brutal this has been for you, and it makes me really appreciate my mother.
Your pain.
Thank you.
- I think.
- (all chuckle) Okay, so, Frankie and I are meeting at Hortua's in the valley.
Oh, shit, Sil.
Thank you so much.
Okay, but don't tell her I tipped you off.
I really value her trust.
No slam.
Are you kidding? No way.
Safe spaces.
We never spoke.
- Who are you again? - Who are you again? - (laughs) - (sighs) Thank you so much.
- Bye for now.
- Thank you.
Appreciate you.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Wow.
Wow, wow, wow, wow.
So interesting, though.
How weird is it that I'm making chili and it's you-know-who's favorite thing.
Hmm? Yeah - Yeah - Let 'em walk - Yeah - Let 'em walk Hi.
Hello.
Hi.
How are you? Hi, Jason.
- Hi, Mom.
- SAM: Hi.
Hmm.
(sighs) I brought you some chili.
I know how much you love my chili when it's cold outside.
And it's cold outside today.
(shivers) (laughs) I already ate.
Why would I eat chili after I already ate? (pops lips) So, what are you doing after you guys are done here? If you're going home, I could - hang out and give you a ride.
- FRANKIE: Sam.
I'm trying to work.
You're breaking my concentration, and I can't focus.
Can you go? - SAM: Bye, Sil.
- Bye, Sam.
Sam? Hey.
Hey.
Frankie's been staying with me and my mom.
- Mm.
- Uh, she's been great.
You know, she helps us with the dishes and is really clean.
She's so polite, too.
You know, my mom loves her.
Anyway, our family's gonna be out of town over the weekend, but it's totally okay 'cause my grandma's gonna come over, and she can stay with Frankie.
FRANKIE: Mom.
Jesus! Leave her alone.
Stop being so needy.
Obsidian, I need you to come back and help me with these indefinite integrals.
Yeah Thanks, Obsidian.
Don't leave that thermos there.
Let 'em walk when they walk, doesn't mean nothin' It's expensive.
Yeah - Yeah - Let 'em walk Yeah.
I don't know where she is 90% of the time.
Her friends leave me messages, but she's just torturing me.
I have a question for you.
Okay.
What's the worst thing that could happen? (takes a deep breath) Well, she could be out on the street.
Be trafficked.
Drugs.
Murder.
She could murder somebody.
But you told me that she's going to school.
She's getting tutored.
Taking care of herself.
Let her be.
- Hmm.
- Let her be.
Focus on the other two.
They accept your parenting.
Frankie will come home when she's ready.
If they walk, then they walk I don't really feel like it was very pigmented.
And it was kind of, like, a bit dry, so Then it says to do the holographic liquid lip gloss, which is what I'm gonna do now.
Can't let the small faze me - They just walk - (sighs) 'Cause they talk and they talk and they talk Let 'em talk, let 'em, let 'em, let 'em talk Don't let them drive you crazy I, like, only have $20.
DAVID: Focus on the two you got at home.
They just walk That's good.
You're good.
Really? I did okay? Yeah.
I liked it.
Thanks, Doc.
Let 'em walk when they walk, doesn't mean nothin' Two fingers in the air, deuces You want to hear my one-word impression of John Lithgow? Mm-hmm.
(imitating John Lithgow): "Butterfly.
" (laughing) It's so good.
Do it again.
"Butterfly.
" (laughs) - It's so good.
- It's not bad for one word.
Do it again.
"Butterfly.
Butterfly.
" (laughs) So why you feeling so hurt? Step your game up I'm gone - Now run along - Run along Yeah, if they walk Then they walk, they just walk Let 'em walk, when they come, let 'em walk 'Cause they talk and they talk and they talk Let 'em talk, let 'em, let 'em, let 'em talk Don't let them drive you crazy Can't let the small faze me If they walk, then they walk, they just walk Let them walk when they walk, doesn't mean nothin' Yeah - Yeah - Let 'em walk Let 'em, let 'em, let 'em talk Don't let them drive you crazy Can't let the small faze me If they walk, then they walk They just walk.
There's 104 days of summer vacation And school comes along just to end it So the annual problem for our generation Is finding a good way to spend it Like maybe building a rocket or fighting a mummy Or climbing up the Eiffel Tower Discovering something that doesn't exist, hey - Or giving a monkey a shower - Giving a monkey a shower (vocalizing) Hello.
Hi.
There's a - 104 days of summer vacation - (laughs) And school comes along just to end it So the annual problem for our generation Is finding a good way to spend it Like maybe building a rocket or fighting a mummy Or climbing up the Eiffel Tower Discovering something that doesn't exist Hey, or giving a monkey a shower (all vocalizing) Surfing tidal waves, creating nanobots Or locating Frankenstein's brain it's over here Finding a dodo bird, painting a continent Or driving your sister insane Phineas As you can see, there's a whole lot of stuff to do Before school starts this fall come on, Perry So stick with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb Are gonna do it all So stick with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb Are gonna do it all.
Mom! Phineas and Ferb are making a title sequence! (all laugh) Thank you, Detroit.
- Yeah! - Okay, I have to finish this.
- What, Mom? - I'm canceling my Spectrum cable prescription.
- Okay.
- I was on the phone with them for 65 minutes yesterday.
Can you imagine? And what is that supposed to mean to me exactly? Mom! Be nice to Gran.
What? When the service agent finally got on the phone, he started speaking in his double Dutch.
And that's when I finally said enough is enough with Spectrum.
What do you mean by double Dutch? Oh, you know, that slang.
I have no patience and no inclination for it.
Okay.
You got anything else? - Is that the whole thing? - No.
I'm done.
That's the whole of it.
And you're really gonna miss Frankie's concert? No way.
That's not true.
- You're gonna go, right, Gran? - No, darling.
I absolutely cannot.
I have my meeting with the Hollywood Disaster Evacuation Preparedness Committee.
I can't miss that.
That's more important than your granddaughter's recital? It most certainly is.
Many believe the next big earthquake is about to hit any day now.
No.
No.
Okay, Phil.
You got anything else to say to me right now? Anything? That you might be forgetting? Today? On this day? Mm No.
I don't think so.
Anyway, - the reason that I - (scoffs) She forgot.
(scoffs) She forgot.
(sighs) I won't do that to you.
Well, hey, you don't know me - So why you feeling so hurt? - (scoffs) - Ugh.
- Step your game up I'm gone You want to stop and get a little treat before we go? - Yeah.
- Yeah.
Want fries? Mm.
- (takes a deep breath) - 'Cause they talk And they talk and they talk Not the ending.
Like, it's not the show without the ending.
And all of the characters, they kind of, like, go together in the show.
But it means nothing without the ending.
I don't want you to tell me about it beca Hi.
- Hi.
- Wow.
You came.
I didn't know you were coming.
Of course we had to come.
Frankie invited us.
- She did? - RICH: Yeah.
You guys okay? Is she back home? I don't know what we are.
And no, she's not back, although there have been rumblings.
She'll come back soon.
At least she's here.
ALAN: Hi, you cutie.
I'm Alan.
Hi.
I'm Duke.
I'm a hugger.
- Oh.
(laughs) - (Rich laughs) Well, you want to go grab a cookie - or something over there? - Sure.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Sorry.
- Sorry.
I have mental problems.
We all do.
(Sam sighs) Anyway I accept the fact that you are wifed up.
And I'm really happy for you.
I don't feel our age, Sam.
I feel his.
Is that crazy? Mm-mm.
I know it's cuckoo.
I do accept the fact that we are - Don't say it! - (muffled laughter) All right.
Here.
- I got you a present.
- No.
Jesus, I'm not saying anything about anything.
Just take it.
No.
I don't want it.
Fine, I'll put it in your pocket.
You are such a pain in the butt.
Good.
(chuckles) I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
Welcome to the club.
(Sam groans) I'm still mad at you.
That's okay.
- Oh.
- Safe spaces.
- Safe space, safe space.
- (both smooch) (indistinct chatter) (organ chord plays) Ooh Regrets collect like old friends Here to relive your darkest moments I can see no way, I can see no way And all of the ghouls - Come out to play - Ooh And every demon wants his pound of flesh But I like to keep some things to myself I like to keep my issues drawn It's always darkest before the dawn And I've been a fool and I've been blind I can never leave the past behind I can see no way, I can see no way I'm always dragging that horse around All of his questions, such a mournful sound Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground 'Cause I like to keep my issues drawn It's always darkest before the dawn Shake it out, shake it out Shake it out, shake it out, oh, whoa Shake it out, shake it out Shake it out, shake it out, oh, whoa And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back So shake him off, oh, whoa Dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum - 'Cause I am done - I'm not staying.
With my graceless heart So tonight I'm gonna cut it out But can I take a bath in your bathtub? I feel gross.
I'm I'm not staying, though.
It's always darkest before the dawn Shake it out, shake it out Shake it out, shake it out, oh, whoa Shake it out, shake it out - (sighs) - Shake it out, shake it out Oh, whoa So can I use your tub? So shake him off, oh, whoa Of course.
And I'm damned if I do And I'm damned if I don't So here's to drinks in the dark At the end of my rope and - I'm ready to suffer - And here.
And I'm ready to hope It's a shot in the dark Aimed right at my throat 'cause Looking for heaven, found the devil in me Oh, whoa Looking for heaven, found the devil in me Well, what the hell I'm gonna let it happen to me - Yeah - Shake it out, shake it out Shake it out, shake it out, oh, whoa Shake it out, shake it out FRANKIE: Dear Mom, There's so many things to say.
I'm simultaneously overwhelmed by having too much to say and nothing to say at all.
Things are weird, but things have always been weird.
What we know is this: You have survived another year.
You made it.
We all made it.
Happy birthday.
Love you.
Kiss, hug.
K-O.
Frankie.
P.
S.
Sorry I'm such an asshole.
Larrels, larrels, boxes and barrels.
(choir vocalizing) (vocalizing continues) (choir vocalizing) WOMAN (on TV): Oh, hi.
You rang the bell? What? (woman on TV continues speaking indistinctly) Hey.
DUKE AND MAX: Happy birthday to you - (groaning) - Happy birthday to you Happy birthday, dear Mama Happy birthday to you.
- (Duke laughs) - MAX: Happy birthday, Mama.
- Happy birthday.
- (Sam sighs) Thank you.
MAX: Love you.
SAM: I love you.
You monkey.
- Love you.
- I love you.
- MAX: Make a wish.
- (inhales) Ooh.
Respiri piano per non far rumore Ti addormenti di sera E ti risvegli col sole Hey, Cookie.
Guess what.
I didn't make it.
You made it.
So here's the kick in the nuts.
Now what are you gonna do? Quando sei assorta Nei tuoi problemi Nei tuoi pensieri Ti vesti svogliatamente Non metti mai niente Che possa attirare attenzione Un particolare Solo per farti guardare Respiri piano per non far rumore Ti addormenti di sera E ti risvegli col sole.
What are you doing? Frankie hasn't written me, and it's been eight days.
Nothing.
I just wanted to see if she wrote you.
No, she hasn't.
I'd tell you.
I promise.
She texted me yesterday, and I told you about it.
(sighs) I hate this.
She's okay.
She's been going to school.
Mm.
I know.
She's just having a moment You know how she is.
She'll be back, and you'll wish she was gone again.
Mm.
SAM (whispers): Thanks, kid.
(sniffs) Oy.
Bye.
Oh, he's so cute.
(laughs): Mom.
- (Ollivier groans) - Oh, my God.
(Ollivier groaning rhythmically) (groaning stops) Haters to the left, please step aside Haters bye-bye, don't kill my vibe SAM: She's, like, icing me out completely.
There's, like, ants crawling around under my skin.
I still don't know why she left or what she's so mad about.
- (speaking Mandarin) - (girl repeating Mandarin words) WOMAN: So, when the warrior girl was introduced to the rainforest, she learned how to make all kinds of medicine.
She started with (speaking Mandarin) RICH: This is insane.
Do you know I've been turned away from this place three times, and these people are getting away with this? I don't care.
I still only ever want to eat here.
Okay.
Hello.
Over here.
Here.
- Thank you.
- Sorry.
Just a tad distracting.
It's okay.
So, anyway, there's this, like, little underground network of kids who are, like, giving me tips on sightings and helping her out Look, honey, she's the most self-sufficient kid in the world She's gonna be president - of AmeriChina one day.
- WOMAN: Can you say that? (speaking Mandarin) (woman continues in Mandarin) Oh, my God.
(laughing) God.
What are you doing? I'm just sending this video.
I mean, do you have to be on your phone the whole time? Who are you sending these videos to? I mean, can you just be here? With me? Put your phone down? Are you constantly texting with Evan? Don't call him that.
Sam, say his name.
What? Say his name.
Jesus.
Alan.
Sense of humor much? Thank you.
I'm just gonna send this to him while he's on his way.
He's gonna die that he's gonna see this - live and in person.
- Wait.
What do you mean? You invited him to our lunch? What is your problem? Look, I'm happy that you're happy with Evan, but this was supposed to be our lunch.
- I mean - I don't get it.
(sighs) What? What don't you get? - I don't believe you.
- I didn't say anything bad.
I disagree.
I think your whole attitude is bad.
Can you say anything good? Can you say something good about him? Sam? Can you say anything good about the person who's making me so fucking happy right now? Sam.
He has very clean hair.
Well, we're just gonna have to spend less time together.
Because I want to be with him every chance I get.
Okay, fine.
That's cool.
Less time.
You want me to stay single forever, just for you.
- He's 24.
- You're shtupping your therapist.
Hi-yee! (groans): Oh.
Hi.
Hi.
Here.
This is your lunch.
I have to go.
Okay.
You guys suck.
Haters to the left - Please step aside - Hi.
Haters bye-bye, don't kill my vibe Why can't we get along? Hi, Sam.
Hi, Frankie.
(gasps) Your nails look so good.
Makes me feel so pretty.
Um I got you some pita and water.
Thank you, darling.
Did you hear? Another school shooting.
Colorado.
That's so scary.
A teacher fed his students cookies laced with his semen.
(takes deep breath) What a world.
Haters to my right, I just wave hi Then I blow 'em up like dynamite Blow 'em up! Whoo-pow, ta-dow, get lost Ah A paradox here (doorbell rings) Just in case him trying waste my time Don't take it personal - Hi.
- Hey, Sil! Hi! - How are you? - I'm good! Mom, Sil's here.
- Hi, Sil.
- Hey.
How's it going? How you doing? Uh, you know she's not here, right? Yeah, I know.
So, you didn't hear it from me, but Frankie and I are meeting.
I'm gonna tutor her for a couple hours.
I just wanted you to know.
And other than that, she's all caught up in her schoolwork.
She's pulling all A's.
SAM: Oh, wow, that's really good.
Did she say anything about when she might be coming home? Oh, man.
She hasn't talked to you? (sighs) Nothing.
Oh, wow.
Thought she was talking to you sometimes, at least, or texting.
- Nothing.
You're my raven.
- I'm sorry, Sam.
I feel bad.
But if it's any consolation, I put my parents through hell.
- Hmm.
- And I turned out okay.
Yeah, you really did.
That does make me feel better.
But I see how brutal this has been for you, and it makes me really appreciate my mother.
Your pain.
Thank you.
- I think.
- (all chuckle) Okay, so, Frankie and I are meeting at Hortua's in the valley.
Oh, shit, Sil.
Thank you so much.
Okay, but don't tell her I tipped you off.
I really value her trust.
No slam.
Are you kidding? No way.
Safe spaces.
We never spoke.
- Who are you again? - Who are you again? - (laughs) - (sighs) Thank you so much.
- Bye for now.
- Thank you.
Appreciate you.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Wow.
Wow, wow, wow, wow.
So interesting, though.
How weird is it that I'm making chili and it's you-know-who's favorite thing.
Hmm? Yeah - Yeah - Let 'em walk - Yeah - Let 'em walk Hi.
Hello.
Hi.
How are you? Hi, Jason.
- Hi, Mom.
- SAM: Hi.
Hmm.
(sighs) I brought you some chili.
I know how much you love my chili when it's cold outside.
And it's cold outside today.
(shivers) (laughs) I already ate.
Why would I eat chili after I already ate? (pops lips) So, what are you doing after you guys are done here? If you're going home, I could - hang out and give you a ride.
- FRANKIE: Sam.
I'm trying to work.
You're breaking my concentration, and I can't focus.
Can you go? - SAM: Bye, Sil.
- Bye, Sam.
Sam? Hey.
Hey.
Frankie's been staying with me and my mom.
- Mm.
- Uh, she's been great.
You know, she helps us with the dishes and is really clean.
She's so polite, too.
You know, my mom loves her.
Anyway, our family's gonna be out of town over the weekend, but it's totally okay 'cause my grandma's gonna come over, and she can stay with Frankie.
FRANKIE: Mom.
Jesus! Leave her alone.
Stop being so needy.
Obsidian, I need you to come back and help me with these indefinite integrals.
Yeah Thanks, Obsidian.
Don't leave that thermos there.
Let 'em walk when they walk, doesn't mean nothin' It's expensive.
Yeah - Yeah - Let 'em walk Yeah.
I don't know where she is 90% of the time.
Her friends leave me messages, but she's just torturing me.
I have a question for you.
Okay.
What's the worst thing that could happen? (takes a deep breath) Well, she could be out on the street.
Be trafficked.
Drugs.
Murder.
She could murder somebody.
But you told me that she's going to school.
She's getting tutored.
Taking care of herself.
Let her be.
- Hmm.
- Let her be.
Focus on the other two.
They accept your parenting.
Frankie will come home when she's ready.
If they walk, then they walk I don't really feel like it was very pigmented.
And it was kind of, like, a bit dry, so Then it says to do the holographic liquid lip gloss, which is what I'm gonna do now.
Can't let the small faze me - They just walk - (sighs) 'Cause they talk and they talk and they talk Let 'em talk, let 'em, let 'em, let 'em talk Don't let them drive you crazy I, like, only have $20.
DAVID: Focus on the two you got at home.
They just walk That's good.
You're good.
Really? I did okay? Yeah.
I liked it.
Thanks, Doc.
Let 'em walk when they walk, doesn't mean nothin' Two fingers in the air, deuces You want to hear my one-word impression of John Lithgow? Mm-hmm.
(imitating John Lithgow): "Butterfly.
" (laughing) It's so good.
Do it again.
"Butterfly.
" (laughs) - It's so good.
- It's not bad for one word.
Do it again.
"Butterfly.
Butterfly.
" (laughs) So why you feeling so hurt? Step your game up I'm gone - Now run along - Run along Yeah, if they walk Then they walk, they just walk Let 'em walk, when they come, let 'em walk 'Cause they talk and they talk and they talk Let 'em talk, let 'em, let 'em, let 'em talk Don't let them drive you crazy Can't let the small faze me If they walk, then they walk, they just walk Let them walk when they walk, doesn't mean nothin' Yeah - Yeah - Let 'em walk Let 'em, let 'em, let 'em talk Don't let them drive you crazy Can't let the small faze me If they walk, then they walk They just walk.
There's 104 days of summer vacation And school comes along just to end it So the annual problem for our generation Is finding a good way to spend it Like maybe building a rocket or fighting a mummy Or climbing up the Eiffel Tower Discovering something that doesn't exist, hey - Or giving a monkey a shower - Giving a monkey a shower (vocalizing) Hello.
Hi.
There's a - 104 days of summer vacation - (laughs) And school comes along just to end it So the annual problem for our generation Is finding a good way to spend it Like maybe building a rocket or fighting a mummy Or climbing up the Eiffel Tower Discovering something that doesn't exist Hey, or giving a monkey a shower (all vocalizing) Surfing tidal waves, creating nanobots Or locating Frankenstein's brain it's over here Finding a dodo bird, painting a continent Or driving your sister insane Phineas As you can see, there's a whole lot of stuff to do Before school starts this fall come on, Perry So stick with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb Are gonna do it all So stick with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb Are gonna do it all.
Mom! Phineas and Ferb are making a title sequence! (all laugh) Thank you, Detroit.
- Yeah! - Okay, I have to finish this.
- What, Mom? - I'm canceling my Spectrum cable prescription.
- Okay.
- I was on the phone with them for 65 minutes yesterday.
Can you imagine? And what is that supposed to mean to me exactly? Mom! Be nice to Gran.
What? When the service agent finally got on the phone, he started speaking in his double Dutch.
And that's when I finally said enough is enough with Spectrum.
What do you mean by double Dutch? Oh, you know, that slang.
I have no patience and no inclination for it.
Okay.
You got anything else? - Is that the whole thing? - No.
I'm done.
That's the whole of it.
And you're really gonna miss Frankie's concert? No way.
That's not true.
- You're gonna go, right, Gran? - No, darling.
I absolutely cannot.
I have my meeting with the Hollywood Disaster Evacuation Preparedness Committee.
I can't miss that.
That's more important than your granddaughter's recital? It most certainly is.
Many believe the next big earthquake is about to hit any day now.
No.
No.
Okay, Phil.
You got anything else to say to me right now? Anything? That you might be forgetting? Today? On this day? Mm No.
I don't think so.
Anyway, - the reason that I - (scoffs) She forgot.
(scoffs) She forgot.
(sighs) I won't do that to you.
Well, hey, you don't know me - So why you feeling so hurt? - (scoffs) - Ugh.
- Step your game up I'm gone You want to stop and get a little treat before we go? - Yeah.
- Yeah.
Want fries? Mm.
- (takes a deep breath) - 'Cause they talk And they talk and they talk Not the ending.
Like, it's not the show without the ending.
And all of the characters, they kind of, like, go together in the show.
But it means nothing without the ending.
I don't want you to tell me about it beca Hi.
- Hi.
- Wow.
You came.
I didn't know you were coming.
Of course we had to come.
Frankie invited us.
- She did? - RICH: Yeah.
You guys okay? Is she back home? I don't know what we are.
And no, she's not back, although there have been rumblings.
She'll come back soon.
At least she's here.
ALAN: Hi, you cutie.
I'm Alan.
Hi.
I'm Duke.
I'm a hugger.
- Oh.
(laughs) - (Rich laughs) Well, you want to go grab a cookie - or something over there? - Sure.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Sorry.
- Sorry.
I have mental problems.
We all do.
(Sam sighs) Anyway I accept the fact that you are wifed up.
And I'm really happy for you.
I don't feel our age, Sam.
I feel his.
Is that crazy? Mm-mm.
I know it's cuckoo.
I do accept the fact that we are - Don't say it! - (muffled laughter) All right.
Here.
- I got you a present.
- No.
Jesus, I'm not saying anything about anything.
Just take it.
No.
I don't want it.
Fine, I'll put it in your pocket.
You are such a pain in the butt.
Good.
(chuckles) I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
Welcome to the club.
(Sam groans) I'm still mad at you.
That's okay.
- Oh.
- Safe spaces.
- Safe space, safe space.
- (both smooch) (indistinct chatter) (organ chord plays) Ooh Regrets collect like old friends Here to relive your darkest moments I can see no way, I can see no way And all of the ghouls - Come out to play - Ooh And every demon wants his pound of flesh But I like to keep some things to myself I like to keep my issues drawn It's always darkest before the dawn And I've been a fool and I've been blind I can never leave the past behind I can see no way, I can see no way I'm always dragging that horse around All of his questions, such a mournful sound Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground 'Cause I like to keep my issues drawn It's always darkest before the dawn Shake it out, shake it out Shake it out, shake it out, oh, whoa Shake it out, shake it out Shake it out, shake it out, oh, whoa And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back So shake him off, oh, whoa Dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum - 'Cause I am done - I'm not staying.
With my graceless heart So tonight I'm gonna cut it out But can I take a bath in your bathtub? I feel gross.
I'm I'm not staying, though.
It's always darkest before the dawn Shake it out, shake it out Shake it out, shake it out, oh, whoa Shake it out, shake it out - (sighs) - Shake it out, shake it out Oh, whoa So can I use your tub? So shake him off, oh, whoa Of course.
And I'm damned if I do And I'm damned if I don't So here's to drinks in the dark At the end of my rope and - I'm ready to suffer - And here.
And I'm ready to hope It's a shot in the dark Aimed right at my throat 'cause Looking for heaven, found the devil in me Oh, whoa Looking for heaven, found the devil in me Well, what the hell I'm gonna let it happen to me - Yeah - Shake it out, shake it out Shake it out, shake it out, oh, whoa Shake it out, shake it out FRANKIE: Dear Mom, There's so many things to say.
I'm simultaneously overwhelmed by having too much to say and nothing to say at all.
Things are weird, but things have always been weird.
What we know is this: You have survived another year.
You made it.
We all made it.
Happy birthday.
Love you.
Kiss, hug.
K-O.
Frankie.
P.
S.
Sorry I'm such an asshole.
Larrels, larrels, boxes and barrels.
(choir vocalizing) (vocalizing continues) (choir vocalizing) WOMAN (on TV): Oh, hi.
You rang the bell? What? (woman on TV continues speaking indistinctly) Hey.
DUKE AND MAX: Happy birthday to you - (groaning) - Happy birthday to you Happy birthday, dear Mama Happy birthday to you.
- (Duke laughs) - MAX: Happy birthday, Mama.
- Happy birthday.
- (Sam sighs) Thank you.
MAX: Love you.
SAM: I love you.
You monkey.
- Love you.
- I love you.
- MAX: Make a wish.
- (inhales) Ooh.
Respiri piano per non far rumore Ti addormenti di sera E ti risvegli col sole Hey, Cookie.
Guess what.
I didn't make it.
You made it.
So here's the kick in the nuts.
Now what are you gonna do? Quando sei assorta Nei tuoi problemi Nei tuoi pensieri Ti vesti svogliatamente Non metti mai niente Che possa attirare attenzione Un particolare Solo per farti guardare Respiri piano per non far rumore Ti addormenti di sera E ti risvegli col sole.