Home Economics (2021) s03e12 Episode Script

1
Get it together.
You're just a grown
woman who had a dream
about her coworker.
Oh, there you are.
How does this look?
Great.
Platonic.
- What?
- Huh?
I'm talking about the spackle.
"Platonic" is a design term.
You okay?
I am.
- Marina.
- Mm-hmm?
If we're gonna be a team,
we have to be straight with each other.
What's going on?
Fine.
I can't believe I'm gonna tell you this.
Oh, you don't like
the sconces we picked.
No, no, no, no. I am just feeling
a little awkward because
I had a dream about you.
- Like a
- Like a, um,
like a an adult dream.
- Oh.
- Yup.
- Oh, wow.
- But it obviously
doesn't mean anything, so let's
just pretend it never happened,
- okay?
- Well, I don't think we can.
What, uh, wha what?
I mean, because, I mean, you know.
I mean, sometimes
Dreams say things that
we wish we could say in real life.
Mm.
Morning.
You must've been enjoyin' yourself.
What?
No. What?
Oh, you were smiling in your sleep.
- What were you dreaming about?
- Nothing.
- An otter.
- Oh, lucky.
I love otters.
So you told Tom that you
were dreaming about otters?
Yeah, I know. I feel terrible,
but I couldn't tell him the truth
that I've had multiple
sex dreams about Santiago.
I mean, he's not even my type.
Smouldering, jaw cut from marble.
- Denise.
- Look, I have random sex dreams all the time,
sometimes when I'm napping.
- I call them "quickies."
- Okay, yeah,
but you don't tell Sarah.
- Oh, of course I do.
That's the best part.
Sarah and I have zero secrets.
Look, this is what she just texted me.
"Hi, Lulu, havin' a medium-flow day.
Which Haim sister do you
think is best at kissing?
- I say Danielle." Oh, my God.
- See?
Those thoughts aren't even related.
Marina, keeping this to yourself
is obviously stressing you out.
Maybe you and Tom should be
more open with each other.
Mmm
yeah, no, that's not for us.
I once told Tom he had slight calves,
and he hasn't worn shorts since.
Hm.
I guess I was a little freaked out
about her relationship with Santiago,
but I had a good talk with Marina.
And then I just did
what Mom always says:
"Put my feelings in a
feelings jar because"
"Nothing can hurt you
if it's sealed in a jar."
Mm-kay, enough Tom Talk.
Let's head over to Connor Corner.
- Hit me.
- So Nikki,
the girl from the grocery store,
has agreed to go on a real date with me.
Whoa, even after your
elaborate lie about being poor?
Yeah, I have some ground to make up,
but everything's out there this time.
No surprises, just gonna take her
on a nice, regular, low-key date.
Okay, I pulled a few
options for tonight.
What colour story are we feeling?
I'm sorry. This is low-key?
You should've seen the other racks.
- Racks?
- Okay, let's talk sock-tions.
Fine, Tom. "Sock options."
Like we have all day.
- I didn't say anything.
- Mm.
Let's do the striped microfibre.
That's the right answer.
Now about belts, I was
thinking since this
Guys, aren't we
overdoing it a little bit?
- Tom.
- You're wearing a freakin' hoodie.
Sorry.
- Hey.
- Hey.
You look incredible.
You do as well. Nice sweater.
Thank you. It's damp shale.
Can you believe my brother
thought this was grey?
Ew, I hate him already.
Hey, where we going?
How do you feel about small plates?
- Eh.
- Okay.
Guess we're getting the
largest plates in town.
Siri, cancel my
reservation at Itty Bitties.
Wait, sorry if I missed this,
but why am I picking you
up in an empty parking lot?
Oh, it's right by the vet's office.
- You wore that to work?
- I had to deworm some Italian greyhounds,
and they're a bunch
of judgy bitches, so
Kelvin, get in here right now!
- What's up?
- Oh, not much.
Your school posted report cards today.
Have anything to say for yourself?
I thought I did okay.
Well, you didn't.
You did amazing!
Straight A's?
Mom with the fakeout.
This deserves a reward.
How 'bout that toy
you keep talking about?
The limited edition "Boom Boom Dojo"
JollyBot collectible figurine?
Yes.
- That.
- That's okay.
I can buy it myself.
The landlord's been paying me
to scrape gum off the mailboxes.
Are you sure? This is a big deal.
I wanna do something special for you.
Thanks, but I know you've
been saving for the baby.
Don't worry about me.
Hey. Sorry I'm so late.
There was a new guy who didn't
know you don't like green stuff
- on your pizza.
- We're in here!
Wait, are the boys not asleep yet?
Well, the twins are in bed,
unless you're talking 'bout these boys.
Oh, hey, Marina.
Wha what's happening?
Well, this guy came by to
drop off an invoice for you.
Yeah, and I found this guy about
to build the Motorised Lighthouse
with rocky outcrop and tall ship.
It's such a sweet build.
Bought it for Camila, kept it for Tommy.
You never told me Santiago
was a fellow blockhead.
Well, I like to build things.
What can I say?
Oh, that's so amazing.
- He's so funny. He's so funny.
- Yeah, I know. I know.
I told you.
And so so unexpected,
Santiago hanging out here.
It's like a dream come true.
Not a dream, not a dream.
Oh, can Santiago stay for pizza?
- Oh, I don't know.
- Please?
Actually, it's getting kind of late.
- Aw, man. This sucks.
- You know what?
No big deal, Tom-a-hawk,
as long as you promise me
that you will not build the
Captain's Cabin without me.
You have my word, Skipper.
All right, and I guess I
will see you tomorrow, okay?
Oh, and get a good night's sleep
because it's a big spackle day.
Tomás.
- I don't understand.
- Oh, he's the skipper
- 'cause I'm the captain.
- No, you two.
I feel like a few days ago you
felt threatened by Santiago.
Yeah, but weren't you the one
who told me not to be jealous?
Plus, you were right. He's a great guy.
I don't wanna jinx anything yet, but
I think he might be my new best friend.
- Best friend?
- Yeah, you're right.
It's too early for labels.
So he's gonna be over all
the time playing LEGOs?
No, no, no, no, no.
We're also gonna watch
all the Bond movies.
He's a Brosnan guy too.
Did you leave room for dessert
'cause I know a great gelato place.
Oh, you know what? I should probably
be getting back home.
Oh, okay.
But maybe on our next date.
Oh, so there's gonna be a next date?
You can just drop me off right up here.
At the parking lot
where I picked you up?
Didn't you say it was by your work?
Yeah, but it's also near my place.
Oh, I mean, I could just
drive you all the way.
Oh, that really, that's so kind.
It's okay, but you
just right up here.
Kay.
Thanks for helping.
These JollyBots are sold out everywhere.
Yeah, no prob.
I love acquiring stuff that's
valuable for no apparent reason.
Also, my date ended early.
- Oh, it didn't go well?
- No, that's the weird thing.
It did, but she had me
pick her up and drop her off
in an empty parking lot.
Do you think she turns
into a car at night?
I wish. That'd be sick.
Why doesn't she want
me to see her place?
Probably because her place
will never compare to yours.
- Mm.
- Your mansion,
your fancy car, your whole vibe.
I mean, the restaurant was pretty nice.
The plates were just enormous.
Well, maybe for your next date,
you take her to a place
where money's not a thing.
Yeah, like bowling,
or wherever you and Sarah go.
- Uh, yeah. There you go.
- Ooh, JollyBots.
- It's a limited run though.
- Oh, thank goodness.
I have to get one for Kelvin.
With all our money going to the IVF fund
or Shamiah's school, I don't
want him to feel left out.
Well, you might have to get
there early and wait in line.
Like how early?
- Like now.
- I have to camp out?
This is what your rich
collector friends do?
No. Come on, Denise.
- We have line guys.
- Of course.
I'd let you borrow mine, but
he's in London gettin' me a pen.
Santiago's so funny.
He just renamed our text thread
"New Kids on the Blocks."
Can we not talk about Santiago?
Okay.
- Is everything all right?
- Yeah.
Totally fine. Why?
Because it sounds like you
have some kind of problem
with Santi.
No, I
I do.
The problem is
he steals.
- What?
- From our client.
A lamp, a mid-century
credenza, a birdbath probably.
- Marina, this is serious.
- Mm-hmm.
You can't work with him anymore.
- What did you tell your clients?
- Oh, I haven't I haven't told
I don't think I need
I'm gonna call the cops right now.
Oh, my God, I gotta count the blocks.
No okay, Tom, wait! He doesn't steal.
I just I didn't
wanna tell you the truth
because I had a dream about him.
Okay, well, what kind
of a oh, my God.
But the dreams, they
don't mean anything.
Dreams? Plural?
I felt guilty hiding them
because then that means
that they do mean something.
And Denise says that her and Sarah,
they share everything, which
which makes their
relationship healthier.
- Okay?
- I'm sorry. I just
keeping it from you was killing me.
Yeah, well, I don't want
you to do that either.
We should be able to say
anything to each other,
no matter how hard it is to say
or how hard it is for me to hear.
Oh, thank you.
And you too, you know?
I'm sure you you keep things from me.
Well, yeah, definitely.
Okay, that was quick.
- Like what?
- Like what?
- Like what? Like
- What? No, you said what.
You said definitely.
Oh, um
I guess there's that, um
Barista at Morningstar Café?
Ooh, the cute one with the eyeliner?
Is she cute? I'm not
sure I'd describe her
- She's cute.
- Yeah, no, Katie the cute one
- with the high ponytail.
- Mm-hmm.
Sometimes she kind of flirts with me.
Okay, come on.
I mean, she she flirts with
everyone probably for tips.
- Yeah, you're probably right.
- Yeah.
Just on my cup, she draws
the O in Tom as a heart.
And one time, she said
she liked my pants.
She liked your pants? Oh, Tom, that's
And then she asked me to
come see her band that night
and said we should go for a drink after.
I just you know,
I didn't wanna tell you
'cause I didn't want you to be upset.
- You're not upset, are you?
- No.
- Oh.
- I'm glad you told me.
- Great.
- Yeah.
Okay.
This is good. Actually, I feel better.
Glad we're being more
open with each other.
Yeah, you know.
Denise was right.
Yeah, and now I don't feel guilty
every time Katie gives me free muffins.
- Free muffins?
- Yeah.
What a what a nice thing to do.
So are you a "Boom Boom Dojo" fan?
Fighting the darkness every day ♪
- Excuse me?
- It's the theme song.
You know it.
It's the Boom Boom Dojo way ♪
Courage and wisdom, dinosaur pride! ♪
Your dreams are real if
you believe in the stars ♪
They probably should have worked
harder on that translation.
Yeah, I'm just here to buy a JollyBot.
Oh, well, good thing we're in the front.
I'm Denise, by the way.
Uh, Declan.
Declan, so nice to meet you.
D-team in the house.
Do you want a kombucha?
I already drank one. Um,
it may have been too much.
Yeah, it was definitely too much.
Well, if you need to find a bathroom,
I'll, uh, watch your stuff for you.
Really? Oh, my gosh.
That is so helpful.
I can never hold it.
For a tall woman, I have
a very stubby urethra.
That's usually information
I just tell to my wife.
Thanks.
- Wow, a Snack Wagon.
- Yeah.
- Where'd you find this place?
- Well, on our last date,
we were in my hood, so I went on Yelp,
looked up casual spots in your hood,
- and this food truck had an A.
- Huh.
Oh, actually I'm looking at it now,
it says it says "A food truck."
Okay.
Here are your sandliches.
Did you just say "sandlich"?
Yeah, the state says legally
I can't call them sandwiches.
But don't worry they're made
with 100% real ground beese.
Thanks.
They looked better in the very
small photo I saw on my phone.
Should we sit?
There's a bus bench by that dog.
You know, he looks like he's savin' it.
How 'bout that curb?
It's got a nice view of the
- the other curb.
- Yeah.
You know, I could put some napkins down
and we can cover whatever that is.
Ooh, napkins? Yeah, sorry.
The sign said bring your own napkins.
- Standing it is.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay. Wow.
You can really smell that beese.
Oh, my gosh, I am never
going back to that store.
They withheld TP until
I bought something.
Ah!
End of the line's back there.
Declan, what?
You said you would save my place.
No, I said I'd watch your stuff,
and I'm watching it right there.
So you're stealing my spot?
Once you step out of line,
it's not your spot anymore.
Seriously? If I go to the back
of the line, I'll never get a toy.
Ugh, not my problem.
And a little tip: only
rookies hydrate in line.
Seriously?
Is anyone seeing this right now?
Where's your outrage, people?
This is not the "Boom Boom Dojo" way.
Oh, you went to Morningstar's?
- Did you get muffins?
- No, no.
Why don't you why don't
you go watch a movie, okay?
Hey, you're back.
- I thought you went to the grocery store.
- Yeah, they were out.
Of groceries?
Of everything. Yeah, it's super weird.
Then what's that behind your back?
What? No. No, I'm just, um,
I'm stretching. I'm really
I'm just really sore.
- Oh, I got it!
- Oh, no, no, no.
- I got it. I got it.
- Okay.
Oh, you went to Morningstar's?
Did you get muffins?
No, they were out too.
There's a supply chain issue.
This wouldn't happen to be
about last night, would it?
And what we talked about with Katie?
No. Sort of.
- Marina.
- I just wanted to see
if she made little
heart O's for everybody,
so I went in there and
I asked for a coffee.
Seeing as my name
doesn't have an O in it,
I I told her that my name was Morona.
Morona?
Morona O'Goose?
Turns out she can make
normal O's just fine.
Okay, so that was it?
- Yep.
- You just got your coffee
- and you got out of there?
- Yes.
After I told her I was your wife.
- I was afraid of that.
- And I told her
to stop complimenting
married men's pants.
- That was it, right?
- Yes.
- That was the end of it?
- Ah, yes. Then I left.
I mean, I go I was asked to leave.
By Katie?
No.
- The manager.
- Oh, crap.
All right, can't write there anymore.
Thanks, now I have to
find another coffee shop.
Ooh, yeah.
You really did it this time, O'Goose.
Okay, looks like they're
starting to let people in.
Oh, you're probably not
gonna get one of those.
I heard the manager say
there were only 30 this drop.
What? No.
Why are you still in line?
They also have a glitter
Hello Kitty lunch box
that I can turn around on eBay.
Well, I'm here to buy a gift for my son
who worked really hard to earn it.
Is anyone here for a reason other
than to price gouge a children's toy?
Noob.
Time to fight the darkness.
Boom Boom Dojo ♪
- Boom Boom Dojo ♪
- Oh, no!
Someone's electric
unicycle's getting towed.
Fighting the darkness every day ♪
It's the Boom Boom Dojo way ♪
Courage and wisdom, dinosaur pride! ♪
Your dreams are real if
you believe in the stars ♪
Boom Boom Dojo ♪
What?
This Sydney Sweeney
"White Lotus" JollyBot
just dropped at the Modesto Mall?
You might be lyin', but
I can't take that risk.
Touch the fire, attack the cold ♪
Take to the skies, race on the road ♪
We can all fly because
we know how to fly! ♪
Well, well, well, the final boss.
That's right, and I'm a
pro at standing in line,
so your tricks won't work on me.
- We'll see about that.
- I waited in line 6 hours
for these kicks, 13
hours for this hoodie,
and you don't wanna know
how long I camped out
for this bucket hat.
You don't stand a chance.
What the hell?
Boom Boom Dojo ♪
Yes! I made it in!
You did this to me!
You all made me like this!
I'm usually very nice.
Wow.
This is nice, huh?
And the dog really relaxed
after it humped itself out.
Maybe not.
Ugh, well, nothing left to do
but to peel back this
wet paper and dig in.
Yeah.
So moist.
Down the hatch and into my tummy you go.
Okay, don't eat it. Don't eat it.
- It's bad. It's a bad thing.
- Oh, thank God.
Look, I have to ask,
you like me, right?
Yeah, of course.
Then why did you take me here?
Well, I wanted to make it
better than the last date,
which I don't think I did.
I liked our last date.
Me too, but I thought
all the fancy stuff
made you uncomfortable, and that's why
you didn't want me to see your place.
Oh, you picked up on that?
Yeah, so I just I don't know.
I just took money out of the equation.
Look, I've made peace with the fact
that you're insanely wealthy.
If you wanna see my
place, I'll show you.
Yeah? Okay.
But we can ditch these, right?
- Absolutely.
- Okay.
Oh, shoot.
- He smells the beese.
- Leave the sandliches.
Leave the sandliches. They're his now.
Hey.
Doin' some work?
Well, I can't work at
Morningstar's, not unless
Katie's band gets a record
deal and they hit the road.
Look, I'm sorry.
Turns out I am just as capable
of being jealous as you are.
Yeah, I mean, maybe I
shouldn't have told you
about Katie and the muffins,
which ironically is
the name of her band.
I guess this, uh, "share
everything idea" isn't for us?
Well, we don't actually want
to be Sarah and Denise, do we?
No, way too much bathroom talk.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, and maybe the way
that we show love is by
not sharing everything.
Exactly.
You know what this means?
I might be in the market
for a new LEGO buddy.
See, that's one of the things
I don't wanna share with you.
Okay, then I won't share
how much you suck at LEGOs.
Okay.
Oh, my God, this is amazing.
These are, like, impossible
to find right now.
- Yes.
- How'd you get this?
Well, your old mom still has
a few tricks up her sleeve.
I'm really proud of you, Kel.
I know there's been a lot
of family stuff going on,
but I just hope you know
how important you are.
Thanks. You're
embarrassing me, but thanks.
You know, there is a new
sneaker that's about to drop.
Take the win, kid.
Your place is nice.
Yeah, I bought a giant Buddha statue,
but, uh, it's backordered.
So what were you so worried about?
'Sup.
Hey.
So was that like a roommate, or
- Mm-hmm.
- Boyfriend?
That's my son, Mateo.
He's 18.
I had him when I was 18.
I didn't wanna bring you to my place
'cause there's a giant lanky
man-boy who lives in it.
Wow.
Was not expecting that.
Ugh, Mom, do we have
any leftover spaghetti
or anything not gross?
You know, it's been
an issue in the past.
It's okay.
I have a kid too.
Yeah, but mine shaves.
- Mm.
- I usually bring up
the whole "I was a teen mom"
thing like the third date.
Well, it seems like we
got that out of the way,
which leaves our third date pretty open.
Aw, come on!
We're out of Lunchables too?
Mom!
- Should we go?
- Yes, please.
But we do need to pick up Lunchables
or he will starve to death.
- Bye, honey!
- Okay.
Bye, hon honey.
Hey, pretty sweet, right?
The "Titanic," and it's to scale.
A mighty ship.
It would be a shame if
something were to happen to her.
You know, I gotta say, Tom,
when we when we first met,
I kind of felt like you didn't like me.
Yeah, well, about that.
I guess I was kind of jealous.
Just you and Marina were
spending so much time together
and your heads all close
looking at, like, sconces.
I hope you know that I would
never make a pass at Marina.
Oh, my God, yeah. I know that now.
I mean, it sounds silly to even say it.
It's so silly.
Oh, you want a coffee?
- Sure.
- There you go.
All right, Morningstar.
Yeah, I wrote your name on it.
You made the O a heart?
Yeah, of course I did.
I like your pants, Tom.
Okay, those two things seem unrelated.
Why don't you and I just
build something real together?
But the "Titanic" is real.
It's got the promenade
deck and everything.
It's got the lifeboats.
- Aah!
- Morning.
Morning.
You okay?
Yeah, yeah.
Just had, like, a crazy dream.
- What was the dream about?
- Otters.