iCarly s03e12 Episode Script

And now we take our buckets And do this! And that's the proper way To clean your parents' laptop.
Okay.
Okay, now, we'd like to introduce you to a guy who graduated from our high school last year.
Cameron! Cameron, he's super hot.
He's Cameron.
Cameron, he's Cameron.
That's Cameron.
He's super hot.
And look, his pants light up.
And now it's time for a brand-new interactive iCarly segment.
Which we call now, let's take our first live video caller.
Here's Dana from New Hampshire.
Hello, new Hampshire! Whoo! Hey, iCarly.
Are you ready to dance with Cameron? Sure.
Hit it.
Nice dancin', Dana.
Thanks.
Hey, can I ask you a question? No.
All right, Freddie, next live video caller.
'Kay, here's Roy from spokane.
Dad, I got iCarly.
Hey-ey! Hey, hey.
Is that the iCarly gang I see? Dad, back up.
Uh, hello.
What do you want? Let me introduce myself.
My name is Richard blanton.
Wait, aren't you like a billionaire? Not like a billionaire, I am a billionaire.
And three years ago, I started a new company called Spacecations.
Oh, I read about that.
It's a thing where people can pay money to go up into space, right? That's right, little Web girl.
And to promote my company and show the public that space travel is safe, how would you guys like to do the first live Web show from space? You want us to do iCarly from space? Are you serious? Yep.
So you wanna do it or not? Well, yeah we want to, but-- good, then let's make this happen.
Now, turn on the music and tell that dancin' boy to light his pants up.
You heard the billionaire.
In 5, 4, 3, 2 I know, you see somehow the world will change for me and be so wonderful live life, breathe air I know somehow we're gonna get there and feel so wonderful it's all for real I'm telling you just how I feel so wake up the members of my nation it's your time to be there's no chance unless you take one and the time to see the brighter side of every situation some things are meant to be so give it your best and leave the rest to me leave it all to me leave it all to me just leave it all to me Spencer.
Unh.
Is the car here yet? No, not yet.
Hey, have you ever tried oystamato? No.
Worst drink ever.
It's a blend of tomato juice and oyster juice.
You hate tomatoes and oysters.
I know.
So, what made you think you'd like a blend of their juices? I didn't think it through.
It's dad.
Dad? Dad, hey, where are you? Where is he? On a submarine, 2,000 feet down in the Pacific.
Cool.
Tell him not to open a window.
Do not open a window.
What? No.
No, she's not going into space yet.
Gimme.
Dad, we're just being tested this weekend.
Yes, I promise I won't go into outer space without your permission.
Gah, that helicopter's really close.
Okay, love you too.
Mwah.
Here.
Hey, it's me.
Have you ever tried oystamato? Did you hear? What? Mr.
blanton picked Sam up in a helicopter.
They're on the roof.
We're going in a helicopter? It's a blend of oyster juice-- oh, you don't care? I have to go.
Hey, I gotta say bye to Carly.
Yeah, law school's goin' great.
Later, dad.
You never told him that you dropped out of law school? Daddy's very busy.
Okay, come on, we gotta get up to the roof.
Your mom's letting you go up in a helicopter? No, but she's in Fresno for the aggressive parenting conference.
Lucky booger.
All right, bye.
Bye-bye.
See ya.
Carly, let's go.
Don't forget your brush.
Thanks.
If they offer you oystamato, just say no.
Mara-vee-oso.
Now, this is one of the main rooms where we evaluate people's physical testitude to see if they can handle space travel.
Testitude? When you're rich, you can make up words.
Now, pungulate your fruit bar.
What? Pungulate it.
There you go.
Mr.
blanton, I gave them frozen fruit bars and brought them here as you requested.
Hey, aren't you guys from that Web show: Exercise rox? We sure are.
Exerciserox.
Com.
Get some.
Why are those morons here? That's your competition.
Competition? Only one Web show gets to go up in space.
So now we gotta test you to find out who can handle it better: iCarly or exercise rox.
Get some.
Don't get on my nerves.
No, I got the whole place to myself this weekend.
Uh-huh.
I got a pizza in the oven and season four of girly cow on DVD.
Yep, uncensored.
Okay.
Later, socks.
Ohh.
You don't have to holler.
But we're hungry.
Yeah.
Hello.
How did you get the elevator to stop on this floor? Will you tell me your name? Hey, don't go up.
No, no, let's not run up the stairs.
Be careful.
Okay, it's not your house.
Who are you? This chair is for testing a person's physiological reactions to the forces experienced during the initial acceleration, from the moment of ignition to penetration of the stratosphere.
So we sit in it and it feels just like we're blasting off? Yes, thank you for dumbing it down.
So when do we start? Aah! Aah! Aah! If you can't handle it, just yell stop.
No, I'm having a wonderful time.
Aah! Okay.
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
Aah! Exercise rox! Whoo! This is awesome! Crank it up! Whoo! Whoo! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! I'm at home in bed.
I'm at home in bed.
Aah! What's wrong with my bed? Aah! This device will test your ability to maintain balance and equilibrium in the event of space disorientation.
Before we start this, is there anything I should know about? Ah-ah-ah-ah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! No, no.
Lewbert, listen.
Some little girl got off the elevator and now she's running around my apartment.
I don't know who she is, that's why I'm calling you.
Now would you please-- aah! I'll call you back.
Little girl, okay, no more running.
This game is not fun for me anymore.
Come on, someone's gonna get hurt if you don't-- aah.
Oh, I got hurt.
Hey, where did you go? Little girl? Hey! Hey! What's happening?! And now, the most challenging test of all.
You're going to be locked inside this simulated space pod for 36 consecutive hours.
Yep, just the three of you, some water, some powdered food, and a monkey.
A monkey? For real? Nah, but aren't monkeys fun? Say monkeys are fun.
Monkeys are fun.
Open the pod.
Now, get in there.
Okay.
Watch your step.
We're not insured.
What did he say? They're not insured.
Shouldn't they be insured? You will all be constantly monitored, so we can see if you're mentally capable of living with each other in a confined space for 36 hours.
So if we can all get along together in here for 36 hours And the exercise rox kids can't We really get to go up into space? That's for true.
Now, before I close this door, you kids wanna meet Johnny Depp? Oh, sure.
Absolutely.
Can we? Nope.
Good luck.
Okay, 35 hours and 59 minutes to go.
Now, let's make sure we stay calm and relaxed, so we can-- oh, you stepped on my foot.
No, I did not.
No, don't start-- oh! Aah.
No, please.
Stop this, please.
Everything okay? Oh, yes.
Lovely.
Thanks for stopping by.
Unh! I can't take being in this space pod for 36 hours.
How long has it been so far? Nine minutes.
And keep it down.
Remember, we're being monitored.
Just video.
They can see us, they can't hear us.
Hey, why don't you help me write the Web show we're gonna have to do in here? 'Cause that requires effort.
So does whining.
I just don't get the point of this test.
I'm reading about it now.
They wanna see if we develop claustrophobic astro-psychosis.
Don't you just wanna punch him so bad? No.
What's cluster phoppik astrak-- what you said? It's space madness.
Duh-duh-dunnnnn.
It's happened to some astronauts.
When you're stuck in a pod like this and can't get out, some people just lose it and go nuts.
I wish I had some nuts.
Yeah, here ya go.
Not dehydrated powdered nuts.
Aah! Dude! Give me that.
No, I want the nuts.
Hey! Hey! Stop! We have to prove we can all be in here together and get along, or we won't get to go up into space.
But she slapped me with powdered nuts.
Mm-mm.
Here you go.
Yeah, 3% fruit juice.
Now, don't you wanna tell me your name? Keep sippin'.
One sec.
Spencer shay? Yeah, come on in.
Thanks.
You called to report a missing child? Yeah, well, a found child.
See that little girl over-- where did she-- she was right there.
You're sure? Yeah, I left her sitting right here.
We have a 321 in progress at Kennedy square.
All units respond.
I gotta handle this.
But the little girl was just here.
Look, if she shows up again, call the station and I'll come back.
Aah! How did--hey! Hey! Officer! I have to go.
I found her.
Please, I just need you to look at her.
You're squeezing my arm.
I need you to see her.
All right, just let go.
I just wanna know who that little girl is and why she's not on my couch.
I don't understand.
I do.
What do you think's goin' on? You're a loon.
What, you think I'm crazy? Well, I'm not a psychiatrist, but I think you'd be smart to talk to one.
Later.
Hey, socko.
Your uncle-in-law's a psychiatrist, right? No, I don't need his number yet, but-- blblblblbl! Yeowww! Gimme his number.
You all ready to go? Yeah.
Okay.
All right, let's do this.
I'm ready.
Let's go.
Ah, I could use more light.
Oh, I think this might be a light switch-- What was that? You hit the auto fire extinguishers.
Here, maybe this is for more light.
Oh.
Cool.
Our beds automatically slide out of the wall.
Yeah, cool.
Don't worry about the possible injuries to my vertebrae.
All right, come on, let's do the show.
Okay, and remember, Mr.
Blanton said we have to do it just like an actual iCarly Web show.
So no stopping.
Oh, wait, one question.
What? Why are you so stupid? Carly? Sam.
I'm curious.
Go.
Recording to the hard drive.
In 5, 4, 3, 2 I'm commander Carly.
And I'm--oh! I'm intergalactic Sam.
And this is-- Augh! Oh.
You hit the bed button again.
I didn't hit it.
Just keep going.
Okay, we're not actually in space.
This is a test simulator.
But, if things go well, we might really get to go up into space.
Moon cheese, baby! And now, guess what Freddie hooked into this control panel.
Ohh! Nice work, fred-bag.
It's not my fault.
No, no--the camera.
I dropped it.
The camera.
Aah! Stop it.
Get off! Get off! Get off! Oof.
iCarly is brought to you by-- now you're kicking my gallbladder.
Aah! --Astro's powdered nuts, the best nuts in the galaxy or something.
Aah! When did you start seeing this mysterious little girl? I guess right after Carly left for the weekend.
Your little sister? Yes.
And you love her very much? Totally.
I don't think you're a loon.
You don't? Not at all.
This is very common.
You love Carly, you miss her, and you long for the days when she was a little girl, always around you.
So your subconscious mind has created another little girl to take her place while Carly's away.
Really? But she seemed so real.
Our imaginations can be very powerful.
But I feel sure that when Carly comes back, this mysterious little girl won't bother you anymore.
I really have to run.
Hey, I really appreciate you comin' over.
Anytime.
Thanks, Dr.
Paksel.
See, this is okay, 'cause I know you're just my imagination.
So I'm just gonna open the fridge-- aah! Waaah! Carly.
Carly.
What? Do you hear that? Sounds like an animal eating.
Sam? Yeah? What are you eating? A brisket.
I knew it.
You smuggled a brisket in here? And some creamed corn.
And it's a good thing I did, 'cause I'm freaking out being trapped in here.
You're gonna get us disqualified.
You're not supposed to have earth food in here.
Gimme some of that meat, Sam.
No, no, no, it's mine.
Gimme the meat.
Just wait, you guys.
Wait.
Gimme the-- no! What is wrong with you two? It's this cramped little pod.
We can't take it.
We're having space madness.
Well, stop.
Do you know how amazing it'd be for us if iCarly gets to go up into space? We'll be legendary.
Now, both of you, stay calm and go to sleep.
Whoo.
I can't take it in here! Aah! Aah! Carly, calm down.
Take a deep breath, all right? No! I--I feel like I'm inside a Walnut.
Carly, calm down.
You're gonna be fine.
Shut up, Freddie! Oh, I gotta get out of here.
Unlock this pod! Unh! Aaaaah! Yeeauuugh! And so ends iCarly's chances of going up into space.
Whoa! Who's there?! Who's out here?! Carly? Hi.
You're back.
I thought you weren't supposed to get home until tomorrow.
Sam's mom brought me home.
What happened? iCarly's not going up into space 'cause I freaked out and got us disqualified.
What did you do? I smashed a window and fled from our space pod.
Aww.
And Mr.
blanton said if I did that up in outer space, my eyes would've been sucked out of my head and that'd be bad for his business.
He has a point.
Yeah.
Guess what you do get.
A big ol' hug from your big ol' brother who's glad to see you and nobody else.
What do you mean? I just missed you.
A lot.
Aw, and I missed your spine.
All right, it's 2:00 A.
M.
You should get to bed.
You too.
Night.
Good night.
Hello.
Who are you? Space madness.