Marvel's Avengers Assemble (2013) s03e12 Episode Script
The Conqueror
(GROANS) (GROWLS) (GRUNTS) It's over, Widow.
There's no way out of this one.
Cap, don't make me go out there.
I'm afraid I have no choice.
None of us do.
(CROWD CHATTERING) WOMAN: Over here! Just one question, please, one right here.
Can you even imagine the ego that needs this much attention? MAN: Over here! Iron Man, a few questions, please.
Absolutely.
But ask 'em loud so everyone can hear.
Why has your company's stock gone down so far in the last few months? My stock? Well, I And why have so many recent innovations come from the likes of Zeke Stane, Aldrich Killian, Sasha Hammer, the Ten Rings Corporation? Your younger competitors? Have you All out of time.
Sorry.
Come on, Tony.
WHIPLASH: You are not leaving just yet.
Whiplash? Oh, finally.
Something fun to do.
Save your strength.
This punk's never been much of a threat.
(GROANS) (ALL GROANING) I'm a threat now.
(STRAINING) (ALL GRUNTING) That hurts! (GRUNTS) (CROWD CLAMORING) (GROWLS) (GROANING) Everyone to safety! (PEOPLE YELLING) How does it feel to be number two, Stark? It must tear you apart.
Hey.
What'd that museum display ever do to you? Where do you think you're going? (GRUNTING) Hmm.
This could almost be too easy.
BLACK WIDOW: Whiplash! Let me dry you off.
(GROANS) Definitely too easy.
For me, anyway.
What, no quip? You okay? I'm fine.
The technology in this whip fragment is unlike anything I've ever seen before.
- Tony? - Huh? Oh.
Uh, let's bleed off some of that energy.
I wouldn't do that.
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACH) Uh, anyone notice the whole state's gone dark? I guess that's what happens when the taxpayers won't upgrade the power grid.
And I thought the caverns of Niflheim were dark.
We just caught Spymaster.
It took both of you? He was upgraded, too.
TONY: Unbelievable.
What this stuff could do in the right hands Uh, Tony? Before you start playing with it, shouldn't you figure out where it's coming from? I already did.
Built something to do just that.
And it's pointing me that way.
BLACK WIDOW: It's an AIM facility.
How do we get in? We could try knocking.
- HULK: Knock, knock! - Huh? Well? Aren't you gonna run? Aren't you? (GRUNTING) What is it with these weapons? And how do guys like these get them? I've got to find out who's behind all (YELLS) Lousy goo.
Makes Hulk mad.
(GRUNTS) (GROANS) (WHIMPERS) (GRUNTING) (SENTRIES WHIMPERING) What is that? CAPTAIN AMERICA: Is that some kind of portal? Aye.
But like none I have ever seen.
FALCON: That's because it's not a portal in space.
It's a portal in time.
Figures.
The only place AIM could have gotten those weapons is the future.
(GRUNTS) Don't do it, Tony.
It might not even be what you think.
(CRACKLING) (GRUNTS) Whoa.
It'd take a lifetime to grasp even the basics behind this tech.
(SCREAMS) An intruder, wearing ancient Stark tech? Who you calling "ancient"? You, and by at least a thousand years, I would say.
I am known as Kang the Conqueror.
Welcome to your future.
Though I'm afraid yours will be rather bleak.
(GROANING) (STRAINING) A crude portal constructed over an existing unstable time anomaly.
The simple mind who lucked into this will never be able to replicate it.
So, intruder, any last words? Closer.
Sucker! (GRUNTS) Oh, boy.
(GRUNTS) Now, trespasser, perish, if you please.
Hold it.
What did you ancient people used to say, "Make my morning"? Close enough.
(CRASHING) (GRUNTING) (BOTH GRUNT) FALCON: Tony! Guys, Iron Man's back.
Ugh! Oh, it looks like Tony brought back a friend.
The Avengers, before the schism.
Kang, we're not done yet.
(YELLS) SENTRY: Hold it right there.
- Don't move! - You dare to attack Kang the Conqueror? How refreshing.
(GROANING) So this is where my weapons have been going The past.
In the future, there are no worlds left for me to conquer.
But this one will do just fine.
Uh, freeze.
You follow me now.
You and all your associates.
Are you out of your Whoa! So don't say another word.
Ever.
- Hawkeye, give us some cover! - Coming up.
Even a world with Avengers is no match for Kang the Conqueror.
I do hope there are other worlds around that will pose more of a challenge.
Bad move - Uh, my arrows - Where'd they go? Ow! KANG: Such primitive weaponry.
Straight out of children's storybooks.
You read storybooks? (GULPS) I told you not to talk to me.
(SCREAMS) Kang! (ALL GROANING) I got it! A-ha! (GROANS) Into the portal.
Now! Don't let them get away.
Hit the portal.
Get back here and fight me, Kang.
I'm gonna finish you for good this time.
Time? I have all the time in the world.
AIM must have been using that portal to steal tech from the future.
They didn't figure on the tech's owner coming to visit.
He called himself Kang the Conqueror.
If this Kang comes back, we'll know.
- Won't we? - Of course we will.
I'll fix my scanner and make a few adjustments, okay? That's not the only thing that needs a few adjustments.
Yeah.
Stark is slipping.
(WHIRRING) (GRUNTS) (GROANS) This is awkward.
Oh, hey, I thought you left.
We're worried about you.
We have never seen you like this, friend Tony.
You cannot keep up your strength unless you eat and sleep.
Me? This wasn't exactly my first all-nighter, you know.
What time is it, anyway? I got a lunch date with Kang made us all look bad, not just you.
Look, I appreciate the concern, guys.
I honestly do.
But I'm fine.
Save it for someone who needs it.
Okay.
FALCON: And I'm worried about him, too.
No matter how smart you are, or strong, or fast, there's always somebody who's a little better.
He doesn't get that.
He does not want to.
Well, we all know how stubborn he can be.
(ALARM BEEPING) More of those weapons are coming in.
A lot more.
Huh? Seems like magic, doesn't it? That's how primitives always view new technology.
As magic.
I'm busy, Kang.
Call somebody who cares.
You weren't the one stealing my tech.
So, why were you in my warehouse? I could have just been looking for a bathroom.
Or maybe I got lost on the New Jersey Turnpike.
The way those off-ramps are laid out, - it's a wonder anyone ever - Enough! It doesn't matter what you were looking for.
No? Then why are you talking to me right now? Remember I told you your future would be bleak? Well, your present is not looking so good, either.
It's almost off the scale now, and all that tech's in one place The sky, right above us.
I have returned, Avengers.
Time for me to conquer.
Time for you to be destroyed.
Show these cavemen why my ship is named the Sword of Damocles.
(GROWLS) Kang may have future tech, but I'm the genius of the now.
(GRUNTS) Widow, Falcon, come with me and disable the ship's systems.
Hulk, Thor, Hawkeye, take down the crewmen and deal with the internal defenses.
Iron Man Iron Man? IRON MAN: These energy readings are incredible.
How is he generating this much power? Not this again.
Uh Oh.
(GRUNTS) Now I understand.
THOR: Hulk, take the ones on the left.
HULK: And you get the one on the right.
(HULK GRUNTING) Hulk? Thor? You ever see anything like this? That's a big gun.
You weren't looking for anything in particular at my armory.
You were just in awe, like a savage seeing his first hologram, or an Orakulan encountering a beta field.
- A what? - My mistake.
That reference won't make sense for another 800 years.
Not that you will be around for that.
You never know.
I might have an upgrade or two up my sleeve.
Typical of the primitive mind.
Never convinced until it sees a demonstration of power.
(RUMBLING) (GRUNTS) What did you do? HAWKEYE: We're turning.
(ALL GROANING) And I don't like the direction! He means to destroy the isle of Manhattan.
Not on my watch! (GROANS) (GROANS) AIM AGENT: All I did was ask him about storybooks, and he gets all mad at me.
Huh? (GRUNTING) BLACK WIDOW: Falcon, drive the ship.
Hold it! (SHIELD WHOOSHING) (WINCING) Guess it wants to see my driver's license.
You control this thing with your mind? You'd have me use switches, dials, or levers.
In my world they're as obsolete as you are.
Obsolete.
It's why there's no security in my line of work.
Every brilliant new invention gets replaced sooner or later.
And so do the inventors.
Don't we? What do you mean "we"? You think I'd open up like this to just anyone? Had to be a guy who knows what it's like, always worrying that you're about to lose everything you've worked for.
Conquerors don't worry about anything.
You call this ship the Sword of Damocles, don't you? You know what that was? A king's sword.
Suspended by a single hair.
Always ready to fall.
IRON MAN: And any minute, he could lose his whole kingdom.
You sure picked the right name for this thing.
No one is ever going to usurp me.
No one.
You sound just like me.
Hey, maybe I'm your great-great-great-grandfather.
What do you think, Junior? (GROWLS) (GROANS) Glad we had this talk, sparky.
This brainwave receptor's how Kang was controlling the ship.
Something just knocked it offline.
Did it open up a vulnerability? Might take a while, but (ZAPPING) We don't have a while.
Okay, giant gun, I still got one good arm.
Oh, yeah! BLACK WIDOW: I know what you're thinking.
You're thinking any one of these future gizmos would keep you on top and get the competition off your heels.
And nobody would ever know who you took it from.
They'd think you came up with it on your own.
You imagine that my ego could take credit for something that wasn't mine? You tell me.
How about I show you? Whoa! I set the ship to self-destruct.
Where are (GRUNTS) (GRUNTS) (GRUNTING) This is the last of the big guns.
And now that New York is safe, there's our exit plan.
Or was.
Where's Cap and Falcon? (RUMBLING) (ALL GROAN) You Avengers almost thwarted me.
Well done.
A pity you've run out of time.
As I said before, "I have all the time in the world.
" HAWKEYE: What is he doing? BLACK WIDOW: He's headed for a time portal.
Not this day, he isn't.
Kang! (GRUNTS) (ENERGY WHIRS) What? Mjolnir! (GASPS) (THOR PANTING) To me! (GRUNTS) Wait, no! (GROANS) (BOTH GROAN) (GROWLS) My signals are all coming back empty.
I can't get a hold of Friday or anyone.
CAPTAIN AMERICA: That's because this is the future, Tony.
There's no way out of this one.
Cap, don't make me go out there.
I'm afraid I have no choice.
None of us do.
(CROWD CHATTERING) WOMAN: Over here! Just one question, please, one right here.
Can you even imagine the ego that needs this much attention? MAN: Over here! Iron Man, a few questions, please.
Absolutely.
But ask 'em loud so everyone can hear.
Why has your company's stock gone down so far in the last few months? My stock? Well, I And why have so many recent innovations come from the likes of Zeke Stane, Aldrich Killian, Sasha Hammer, the Ten Rings Corporation? Your younger competitors? Have you All out of time.
Sorry.
Come on, Tony.
WHIPLASH: You are not leaving just yet.
Whiplash? Oh, finally.
Something fun to do.
Save your strength.
This punk's never been much of a threat.
(GROANS) (ALL GROANING) I'm a threat now.
(STRAINING) (ALL GRUNTING) That hurts! (GRUNTS) (CROWD CLAMORING) (GROWLS) (GROANING) Everyone to safety! (PEOPLE YELLING) How does it feel to be number two, Stark? It must tear you apart.
Hey.
What'd that museum display ever do to you? Where do you think you're going? (GRUNTING) Hmm.
This could almost be too easy.
BLACK WIDOW: Whiplash! Let me dry you off.
(GROANS) Definitely too easy.
For me, anyway.
What, no quip? You okay? I'm fine.
The technology in this whip fragment is unlike anything I've ever seen before.
- Tony? - Huh? Oh.
Uh, let's bleed off some of that energy.
I wouldn't do that.
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACH) Uh, anyone notice the whole state's gone dark? I guess that's what happens when the taxpayers won't upgrade the power grid.
And I thought the caverns of Niflheim were dark.
We just caught Spymaster.
It took both of you? He was upgraded, too.
TONY: Unbelievable.
What this stuff could do in the right hands Uh, Tony? Before you start playing with it, shouldn't you figure out where it's coming from? I already did.
Built something to do just that.
And it's pointing me that way.
BLACK WIDOW: It's an AIM facility.
How do we get in? We could try knocking.
- HULK: Knock, knock! - Huh? Well? Aren't you gonna run? Aren't you? (GRUNTING) What is it with these weapons? And how do guys like these get them? I've got to find out who's behind all (YELLS) Lousy goo.
Makes Hulk mad.
(GRUNTS) (GROANS) (WHIMPERS) (GRUNTING) (SENTRIES WHIMPERING) What is that? CAPTAIN AMERICA: Is that some kind of portal? Aye.
But like none I have ever seen.
FALCON: That's because it's not a portal in space.
It's a portal in time.
Figures.
The only place AIM could have gotten those weapons is the future.
(GRUNTS) Don't do it, Tony.
It might not even be what you think.
(CRACKLING) (GRUNTS) Whoa.
It'd take a lifetime to grasp even the basics behind this tech.
(SCREAMS) An intruder, wearing ancient Stark tech? Who you calling "ancient"? You, and by at least a thousand years, I would say.
I am known as Kang the Conqueror.
Welcome to your future.
Though I'm afraid yours will be rather bleak.
(GROANING) (STRAINING) A crude portal constructed over an existing unstable time anomaly.
The simple mind who lucked into this will never be able to replicate it.
So, intruder, any last words? Closer.
Sucker! (GRUNTS) Oh, boy.
(GRUNTS) Now, trespasser, perish, if you please.
Hold it.
What did you ancient people used to say, "Make my morning"? Close enough.
(CRASHING) (GRUNTING) (BOTH GRUNT) FALCON: Tony! Guys, Iron Man's back.
Ugh! Oh, it looks like Tony brought back a friend.
The Avengers, before the schism.
Kang, we're not done yet.
(YELLS) SENTRY: Hold it right there.
- Don't move! - You dare to attack Kang the Conqueror? How refreshing.
(GROANING) So this is where my weapons have been going The past.
In the future, there are no worlds left for me to conquer.
But this one will do just fine.
Uh, freeze.
You follow me now.
You and all your associates.
Are you out of your Whoa! So don't say another word.
Ever.
- Hawkeye, give us some cover! - Coming up.
Even a world with Avengers is no match for Kang the Conqueror.
I do hope there are other worlds around that will pose more of a challenge.
Bad move - Uh, my arrows - Where'd they go? Ow! KANG: Such primitive weaponry.
Straight out of children's storybooks.
You read storybooks? (GULPS) I told you not to talk to me.
(SCREAMS) Kang! (ALL GROANING) I got it! A-ha! (GROANS) Into the portal.
Now! Don't let them get away.
Hit the portal.
Get back here and fight me, Kang.
I'm gonna finish you for good this time.
Time? I have all the time in the world.
AIM must have been using that portal to steal tech from the future.
They didn't figure on the tech's owner coming to visit.
He called himself Kang the Conqueror.
If this Kang comes back, we'll know.
- Won't we? - Of course we will.
I'll fix my scanner and make a few adjustments, okay? That's not the only thing that needs a few adjustments.
Yeah.
Stark is slipping.
(WHIRRING) (GRUNTS) (GROANS) This is awkward.
Oh, hey, I thought you left.
We're worried about you.
We have never seen you like this, friend Tony.
You cannot keep up your strength unless you eat and sleep.
Me? This wasn't exactly my first all-nighter, you know.
What time is it, anyway? I got a lunch date with Kang made us all look bad, not just you.
Look, I appreciate the concern, guys.
I honestly do.
But I'm fine.
Save it for someone who needs it.
Okay.
FALCON: And I'm worried about him, too.
No matter how smart you are, or strong, or fast, there's always somebody who's a little better.
He doesn't get that.
He does not want to.
Well, we all know how stubborn he can be.
(ALARM BEEPING) More of those weapons are coming in.
A lot more.
Huh? Seems like magic, doesn't it? That's how primitives always view new technology.
As magic.
I'm busy, Kang.
Call somebody who cares.
You weren't the one stealing my tech.
So, why were you in my warehouse? I could have just been looking for a bathroom.
Or maybe I got lost on the New Jersey Turnpike.
The way those off-ramps are laid out, - it's a wonder anyone ever - Enough! It doesn't matter what you were looking for.
No? Then why are you talking to me right now? Remember I told you your future would be bleak? Well, your present is not looking so good, either.
It's almost off the scale now, and all that tech's in one place The sky, right above us.
I have returned, Avengers.
Time for me to conquer.
Time for you to be destroyed.
Show these cavemen why my ship is named the Sword of Damocles.
(GROWLS) Kang may have future tech, but I'm the genius of the now.
(GRUNTS) Widow, Falcon, come with me and disable the ship's systems.
Hulk, Thor, Hawkeye, take down the crewmen and deal with the internal defenses.
Iron Man Iron Man? IRON MAN: These energy readings are incredible.
How is he generating this much power? Not this again.
Uh Oh.
(GRUNTS) Now I understand.
THOR: Hulk, take the ones on the left.
HULK: And you get the one on the right.
(HULK GRUNTING) Hulk? Thor? You ever see anything like this? That's a big gun.
You weren't looking for anything in particular at my armory.
You were just in awe, like a savage seeing his first hologram, or an Orakulan encountering a beta field.
- A what? - My mistake.
That reference won't make sense for another 800 years.
Not that you will be around for that.
You never know.
I might have an upgrade or two up my sleeve.
Typical of the primitive mind.
Never convinced until it sees a demonstration of power.
(RUMBLING) (GRUNTS) What did you do? HAWKEYE: We're turning.
(ALL GROANING) And I don't like the direction! He means to destroy the isle of Manhattan.
Not on my watch! (GROANS) (GROANS) AIM AGENT: All I did was ask him about storybooks, and he gets all mad at me.
Huh? (GRUNTING) BLACK WIDOW: Falcon, drive the ship.
Hold it! (SHIELD WHOOSHING) (WINCING) Guess it wants to see my driver's license.
You control this thing with your mind? You'd have me use switches, dials, or levers.
In my world they're as obsolete as you are.
Obsolete.
It's why there's no security in my line of work.
Every brilliant new invention gets replaced sooner or later.
And so do the inventors.
Don't we? What do you mean "we"? You think I'd open up like this to just anyone? Had to be a guy who knows what it's like, always worrying that you're about to lose everything you've worked for.
Conquerors don't worry about anything.
You call this ship the Sword of Damocles, don't you? You know what that was? A king's sword.
Suspended by a single hair.
Always ready to fall.
IRON MAN: And any minute, he could lose his whole kingdom.
You sure picked the right name for this thing.
No one is ever going to usurp me.
No one.
You sound just like me.
Hey, maybe I'm your great-great-great-grandfather.
What do you think, Junior? (GROWLS) (GROANS) Glad we had this talk, sparky.
This brainwave receptor's how Kang was controlling the ship.
Something just knocked it offline.
Did it open up a vulnerability? Might take a while, but (ZAPPING) We don't have a while.
Okay, giant gun, I still got one good arm.
Oh, yeah! BLACK WIDOW: I know what you're thinking.
You're thinking any one of these future gizmos would keep you on top and get the competition off your heels.
And nobody would ever know who you took it from.
They'd think you came up with it on your own.
You imagine that my ego could take credit for something that wasn't mine? You tell me.
How about I show you? Whoa! I set the ship to self-destruct.
Where are (GRUNTS) (GRUNTS) (GRUNTING) This is the last of the big guns.
And now that New York is safe, there's our exit plan.
Or was.
Where's Cap and Falcon? (RUMBLING) (ALL GROAN) You Avengers almost thwarted me.
Well done.
A pity you've run out of time.
As I said before, "I have all the time in the world.
" HAWKEYE: What is he doing? BLACK WIDOW: He's headed for a time portal.
Not this day, he isn't.
Kang! (GRUNTS) (ENERGY WHIRS) What? Mjolnir! (GASPS) (THOR PANTING) To me! (GRUNTS) Wait, no! (GROANS) (BOTH GROAN) (GROWLS) My signals are all coming back empty.
I can't get a hold of Friday or anyone.
CAPTAIN AMERICA: That's because this is the future, Tony.