Phineas and Ferb s03e12 Episode Script

by ashirogi27 I'm coming as fast as I can, Candace! I'm at your house.
Now, what kind of emergency are we dealing with? A parent emergency? A Phineas-and-Ferb emergency? Oh, my A hair emergency the worst kind! Oh.
This is awful! How did–? Wait.
What are these four long strands, and look at this shaved area.
What's that all about? Is this a rolled-up sock? Candace, who did this to you? Candace, who did this to you? Stacy, I did it to myself.
Stacy, I did it to myself.
Why? Jeremy's mom is hosting a benefit for endangered animals this afternoon, and I wanted a new look! So you want your hair to look like an endangered species? No, there are all these hairdo how-to videos online.
No, there are all these hairdo how-to videos online.
They make it look so easy.
Just brush it up, toss your head back, and viola! Just brush it up, toss your head back, and viola! Just brush it up, toss your head back, and voila! It's simplicious.
It's not simplicious! It's hard-plicious! Candace, take it easy.
Candace, take it easy.
Look at me! A tragic victim of Internet hair stylists! Sorry, I don't think there's anything I can do, but there are a couple of guys who could– Sorry, I don't think there's anything I can do, but there are a couple of guys who could– Sorry, I don't think there's anything I can do, but there are a couple of guys who could– No! No way! Uh, are these chopsticks? Uh, are these chopsticks? Ugh, all right.
Ugh, all right.
Phineas and Ferb! What do you think? We've been working on our spit takes all morning.
Yeah.
Yeah, you're hilarious.
Listen, I need you two to get me out of this situation.
Listen, I need you two to get me out of this situation.
Why? Your hair looks simplicious! Have you tried tossing your head back? Look, I don't have time to explain.
Look, I don't have time to explain.
Just get me back to the way I was.
Okay.
But I think you're making a mistake.
Hey, where's Perry? Hey, where's Perry? What? I'm like the only person who's never said it.
Good afternoon, Agent P.
For the past few days, our motion sensors have detected Dr.
Doofenshmirtz rummaging around in his basement.
So, last night we had Carl stake out down there behind his water heater.
So, last night we had Carl stake out down there behind his water heater.
It was horrible down there! Carl! I saw a rat give birth to a snail! I saw a rat give birth to a snail! Just tell him about Doofenshmirtz.
Doofenshmirtz kept coming down and grabbing pieces of his old Inators from cardboard boxes.
Oh, no Brown recluse spider's favor dwelling in cardboard Get it off! Get it off! Get it off! Get it off! Get out there and find out what Doof is up to.
I think it's finding me.
I can feel its little hairy arms! Seriously, Carl? Eww! What a baby.
I think it laid eggs in my ear! So by combining ultra-violet and infrared waves together with follicle stimulation properties, not only does it style your hair, but it stimulates and accelerates new hair growth! not only does it style your hair, but it stimulates and accelerates new hair growth! So that should take care of that little shaved area.
What's that all about? Don't get me started.
All you have to do is sit there for thirty minutes on setting five and you're good to go.
Yeah, yeah, tick-tock.
Start her up, Ferb.
Remember, thirty minutes on setting five.
Remember, thirty minutes on setting five.
Thanks, guys! What was that? Oh, I changed my ringtone.
That's a tangerine orangutan.
Endangered animals! Oh, it's Jeremy! Hi.
You are picking me up in ten minutes? Great! Bye.
Ten minutes! Stacy, crank this thing up.
Stacy, crank this thing up.
If it takes a half an hour on five, it should do the trick in ten seconds on twenty.
I don't know, Candace.
Maybe you shouldn't mess with– Yeah, yeah, yeah, it'll be fine.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it'll be fine.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it'll be fine.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it'll be fine.
Okay Besides Stacy, they wouldn't put a twenty on it if it weren't meant to be used, right? Besides Stacy, they wouldn't put a twenty on it if it weren't meant to be used, right? Well, I guess so.
Well, I guess so.
Oh, my ten seconds are up! Well, how does it look? Well, how does it look? I can't believe it! It's perfect! Told you it'd be fine.
Ooh, now help me find something cute to wear.
Ah, Perry the Platypus, I don't like your tone.
Behold I give you The very Very Bad-inator! The very Very Bad-inator! The very Very Bad-inator! It's made up of only the most evil parts of my old Inators, cobbled together without any rhyme or reason.
My plan is to load it on my floating platform, take it high above the Tri-State Area and, you know, turn it on and see what it does.
My plan is to load it on my floating platform, take it high above the Tri-State Area and, you know, turn it on and see what it does.
I've no idea but I-I'm sure it's gonna be bad.
I've no idea but I-I'm sure it's gonna be bad.
Hence, Very Bad-inator.
Hence, Very Bad-inator.
Ooh, I got a chill! Ooh, I got a chill! Wow, nice turnout.
Yeah.
Hey, there's your mom.
There you two are! Don't you look nice, Candace.
Oh, thanks, Mrs.
Johnson.
Oh, thanks, Mrs.
Johnson.
Come on, I'll show you where we're sitting.
We have a very good turn out this year, many of Danville's top zoologists are here.
I bet I'll have more species named after me than you do, care to make a wager? I bet I'll have more species named after me than you do, care to make a wager? No! Why not? Because your last name is Pithicus.
The money that this banquet raises will go a long way to facilitate solutions for the problems these poor animals face.
Great! Uh, Candace, I think you've got a little food or something on your lip.
Uh, Candace, I think you've got a little food or something on your lip.
Uh, Candace, I think you've got a little food or something on your lip.
Will you excuse me for a moment? Uh, I just need to see this spoon for a– Uh, I just need to see this spoon for a– Phineas.
Oh, hi, Candace.
It's Candace.
You turned it up to twenty? So what happened? No way! That is so cool.
Okay, I'll see what we can do.
Mom, may Ferb and I be excused? Mom, may Ferb and I be excused? Candace needs help with her hair.
So, you guys are hair stylists now? Apparently.
So, what would you do with my hair? Nothing, it's perfect the way it is.
Nothing, it's perfect the way it is.
Wow, you are good.
Wow, you are good.
Girlfriend, please.
Be careful, Perry the Platypus.
You're awfully close to the edge.
Oh! Let me help you back.
Oh, I can't– Whoops.
I'm just messing with you.
Candace! Candace? Now where'd she go? I gotta find a better place to hide.
Ooh Oh, stop it.
You've lost your joie de vivre.
Wow, this thing keeps getting weirder every year! Wow, this thing keeps getting weirder every year! It is wonderful to see such a fine turnout– Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to tonight's lecture! Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to tonight's lecture! Where did she go? Won't you all please help welcome Oh, no! Professor Herbert Fordsworth Weatherman Jones! Huh? That's not Professor Herbert Fordsworth Weatherman Jones.
That's the rare tangerine orangutan! We have to capture it and return it to the wild.
Stand back, everyone.
I have an associate's degree in zoology.
I got this.
Oh, no! Jeremy's mother! She can't see me like this! Don't run away! I mean you no harm! No, no, no! Don't go up there, don't go up on the roof! Jeremy, would you do me a favor and call animal control please? Sure thing, Mom.
Hey, Ferb.
Look up there! That's Candace on the roof.
And I was worried this function would be dull.
Phineas, help! Phineas, help! Jeremy's mom thinks I'm an orangutan and is trying to return me to the wild! Okay, hang tight.
We brought the hair remover.
This looks like a good spot to fire up the Really Bad-inator.
I can't wait to see what it does.
Guess we'll have to wait.
Ooh, I brought snacks.
Let me see what I have here.
Baby carrots, and some grapes, and a– Ooh, peanut butter! Ohh, and some honey! See, Perry the Platypus, most people like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches but I really prefer peanut butter and honey.
Very few people know that Myron's discus thrower was built with real ancient disc-throwing action.
Hang on, Ferb! Whee! Candace? Ferb and I made a sonic oscillator.
This baby will blow the furs of a peach at ninety yards.
Great, get this hair off of me.
Woo-hoo! Hello? Little friend, where did you go? Come on, Ferb.
I see you! Animal control.
You got a monkey needs tranquilizing? That is not a monkey.
It's the very rare tangerine orangutan.
Yeah, tomato, potato.
Just leave it to the professionals.
Huh.
Would you look at that.
Well, you probably noticed that I'm, uh not that good at my job, so, you can just take this and I'll be right back.
not that good at my job, so, you can just take this and I'll be right back.
not that good at my job, so, you can just take this and I'll be right back.
Ooh, yes.
Peanut butter and honey sandwiches.
The trick is the honey, and you get to use one of these weird honey-spoony things.
The trick is the honey, and you get to use one of these weird honey-spoony things.
This is– Perry the Playtpus, did you just say gun-galing-dung? Perry the Playtpus, did you just say gun-galing-dung? Aww, great! Now I'm all sticky.
Oh, no, this was my last clean lab coat too.
Ugh, it's on now! Hey! Hey, hey, hey! What are you doing? Oh! Ohh, I– Ohh, I get it.
Payback.
Very funny, Perry the Platypus.
You're very mature.
Thank you for purchasing the Hanson 3000 Family Friendly Tranquidart Air-contrast delivery system, there are many like it but this one is yours.
Phineas, hurry, while she's distracted! The first thing Alright, Candace.
Hey, it worked! As soon as I get this honey off of me, I– Is this hair? Oh, no! Now I'll never know what the Bad-inator does! Curse you, Perry the Platypus! The red plunger will act as a non-return valve and retain the air within the dart.
Fear not, helpless primate, bright banquets of the legion valve will soon melt every care away, or my name isn't Hawk-eye Johnson! Fear not, helpless primate, bright banquets of the legion valve will soon melt every care away, or my name isn't Hawk-eye Johnson! Shot in the butt while covered in honey and hair? What do you know, my horoscope was right.
My beautiful, beautiful horoscope.
Oh, no! What have I done? She's going to fall! Hold the door, Barbara.
I think this is our floor.
Thanks, guys! I could just hug you! Awesome! Candace? You caught her! You saved this orangutan! I'll take it from here.
Leave it to the professionals.
Mama, I'm pretty.
I knew you were a good catch.
Thanks, Mrs.
Johnson.
I didn't know you were helping out my mom.
You made quite an impression on her.
Well, I guess you could say I am having a good bad hair day.
Well, I guess you could say I am having a good bad hair day.
I'm blurry and drowsy, but balladry beckons (Song: With a Dart) Though, I probably lose consciousness in seventeen seconds Don't know my location, I'm not sure that I care But, I think I'm in a jungle and I'm covered in hair If you want to know why, please refer to the chart I've been shot in the butt with a dart I've been shot in the–