Rescue Me s03e12 Episode Script
Hell
Previously on rescue me ahh! Ohh! Hey.
I'm a friend of Lou's.
So Just I'll be a minute.
Nice.
Yeah, she's cute, huh? Yeah.
I have one boundary, Lou.
One Boundary and one boundary Only no sex with nuns in the Place where I live.
You know what, let's just Take these 3 and put 'em into a Big what-If Stack.
Um, we totally picked the Same order.
I'm actually Interested in this one, Specifically.
Mmm.
I'll take it.
This is gonna sound kinda Strange, but, uh, I think I'm Getting submarined by a retard.
You and me, this ain't about Power, ritchie.
It's about both Of us loving Natalie.
I think we got some stuff in Common.
Like what? We're both smarter than we Look.
Mike's gay.
Yeah, tell me something I Don't know.
Oh, you mean gay gay.
I need some viagra.
I'm Serious.
Ok.
It's for the Chief.
He's got A new girlfriend.
He's afraid About performing.
You can't let anyone at my Job know about this.
I got it.
Second of all, I'm an Illegal.
Oh! Oh, Jesus.
What's wrong, baby? God.
My chest.
You're gonna be ok.
Please, call somebody.
Call Help me here.
Unh.
Uhh.
You know what, Maggie? After Your performance the other day With the priest, I went home and I was really upset.
And I was Thinking about you, and I threw Up.
And I thought to myself, you Know what? I'm not the smartest Guy on the planet, but maybe you Shouldn't get married to a Person that actually makes you Throw up.
Janet's pregnant.
It wasn't Planned.
You know, it just Happened.
I want this.
Whether it's his Or yours, I want this child to Replace what we lost.
Johnny, Johnny! Hey, hey, you Ok? You hear me, Johnny.
Jesus, Jesus.
Dispatch, dispatch, 1013, Officer down.
Dispatch, officer Down.
We need an ambulance.
[Hell is 'rou By tricky plays.]
* I stand firm for our soil, Lick a rock on foil, Say reduce me, seduce me, Dress me up in stussy, Hell is round the corner Where I shelter, Ism's and schisms, We're living helter skelter, If you believe and deceive Common sense says shouldn't Receive, let me take you down The corridors of my life, And when you walk, Do you walk to your preference? No need to answer Till I take further evidence, I seem to need a reference To get residence, A reference to your preference To say, I'm a good neighbor, I trudge, so judge me From my labor, The bond on me ensures My good behavior, The constant strum Insures my insanity, Passing the ignorance Ensures the struggle For my family, We're hungry Beware of our appetite, Distant drums bring the news Of a kill tonight, The kill which I share With my passengers, We take our fill, take our fill, Take our fill, I stand firm for our soil Lick a rock on foil, Say reduce me, seduce me, Dress me up in stussy, Confused by different memories, Details of asian remedies, Conversations Of what's become of enemies, My brain thinks bomb-Like, So I listen he's a calm type.
And as I grow, I grow collective, Before the move Sit on the perspective, Mr.
Quaye lay in the crevice, And watches from the precipice, Imperial passage, Heat from the sun Some days slowly passes, Until then, You have to live with yourself Until then, You have to live with yourself * * I stand firm for our soil Lick a rock on foil, Say reduce me, seduce me, Dress me up in stussy, Hell is round the corner * * where I shelter Ism's and schisms, We're living helter skelter, If you believe and deceive Common sense Says shouldn't receive, Let me take you down the Corridors * * my brain thinks bomb-Like, Bomb-Like, My brain thinks bomb-Like, Bomb-Like, bomb-Like, My brain thinks bomb-Like * * on another day Come on, come on, With these ropes I tied Can we do no wrong, Now we grieve 'Cause now is gone, Things were good When we were young, With my teeth locked down I can see the blood Of a thousand men Who have come and gone, Now we grieve 'Cause now is gone, Things were good When we were young, Is it safe to say? * * come on, come on * * was it right to leave? * * come on, come on * * will I ever learn? * * come on, come on, come on, Come on, come on, come on * Jesus Christ, he's now Officially 2 hours overdue.
I Mean, this is unheard of.
Jerry Is never late.
Yeah, still getting Tommy's Voicemail.
Called him at home, Machine's full.
I thought he was in the Shower when I left this morning.
Maybe he liked slipped and Knocked himself out.
You know what, the way his Life's been going, it would be An improvement.
What do you want to do, Lou? What do I want to do? What Does Lou want to do? Lou wants To sit here with a box of donuts And watch frankenstein.
That's What Lou wants to do.
Although that particular Combination usually leads to a Jerk off session.
So, Lou will Just stand here and worry.
Hey.
Hey.
They, uh, they shot my brother.
What? Ahh.
I gotta go tell my old man in Person.
And I'm afraid about how He might react.
He might Collapse or what.
So l-I need Somebody to give me a hand.
Yeah, sure.
Guys, you're not going to Believe it.
The most beautiful Woman's walking by the firehouse Right now with the biggest tits I've ever seen in my life.
It's Like a double eclipse.
Come on, Check it out.
Let's go.
Uh, Lou, what do you want to Do about Jerry? Oh, yeah, t.
, Jerry's Missing.
Call izzy.
Ran into him a Couple of days ago.
Said he was Off today.
Call hutch 'n bronson Over at 73 truck.
They're doing A softball tournament out of That house.
They can probably Come over and cover.
Mikey, call izzy.
If he can't Make it, you get needles nelson Over here.
Right? I'll dig his Number out of my cell phone for You.
Franco, get a hold of these Guys.
Get on the rig.
Get over To Jerry's.
Find out what's Going on.
You got it.
Unbelievable.
Totally fake.
I Don't understand why they do This to me all the time.
Jesus, who died? They got a lead on this guy? Johnny was going to testify Against this drug dealer.
Bronx Guy had 2 strikes against him And he's definitely going down For life probably.
Scumbags.
Yeah.
Must of hired one of The guys who works for him to do The shootin'.
Johnny's partner Got a dead-On look at the guy.
So hey, Lou, thanks for doing this.
I appreciate it.
Don't thank me yet, I'm not Sure this is going to go all That well.
He ain't movin' out! I'm not moving out.
Are you guys deaf?! Dad, I think, uh I think you're gonna want to sit Down.
Don't tell him what to do.
That's right.
He wants to stand.
I'm gonna stand.
Mr.
Gavin, I think, you Maybe should be sittin' down When you hear what Tommy has to Say.
Ah, shite.
I'll get the whiskey.
All right, bring it on.
What Is it? Johnny's dead.
They shot him.
He was on a stakeout, last Night.
I'm going to the bathroom.
I need a little privacy for a Moment.
Hey, Chief, the uh the side Door is locked.
Oh, yeah.
You wanna break this glass? Oh, I don't think so.
This is Beveled glass, man.
He'll shit If we break this.
Yeah.
Hey, Chief, his car's around Back.
How 'bout this window here.
You want to break that one? Now that's a storm window.
You know what we went to the Track last week.
The guy Owes me 40 bucks.
Let's see If we can find a $40 window.
Shit, shit, up here guys! Up Here! He's over here! Jerry! Jerry! Ah, shit.
Come on, Franco, grab him.
Let's roll.
Jesus, let's go.
Is he breathing? Oh, my God.
Yeah, he is.
He's breathing.
He's breathing.
Go get a Stretcher.
Tell nils to get a Stretcher.
Yeah, Pauly, hurry up.
It's going to be all right, Chief.
Just hang in there.
All right, here's the deal.
No black suits.
No black ties.
No black dresses.
The only Formal clothes will be his Police brethren and their dress Blues.
I want everyone in Colors, bright colors like Spring in bloom.
I want to celebrate my kid's Life, not his death what he did While he was on this planet, how He almost always put a put a Smile on my face every time he Walked into a room.
You follow? Yeah.
Follow.
Red? Yeah.
We're going to need a lot More whiskey.
Hey, baby.
Ok, good luck, pal.
It's ok, ellie.
It's ok.
It's all right.
It's ok.
I heard about your nephew Johnny.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Johnny, yeah.
Aren't you upset? Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I was.
When I First heard, I was very, very Upset.
I was pretty close to Crying.
Yeah.
But you got to Remember, sweetie, I mean Johnny Was a cop.
I mean, firefighters We get burned up, we get knocked Around.
Sometimes we even get Killed.
But cops get shot at Every goddamn day of the week.
He knew that going in what are you doing?! How can you think about sex Right now?! You the gentlemen who are Here with Mr.
Reilly? Yeah.
Yeah.
Ok, your Chief has had a Fairly significant heart attack.
Shit.
All right, we got him Stabilized.
We're assessing the Damage.
Now anybody here from His immediate family? Uh, well, we are his Immediate family, doc.
I mean, He's got a son up in boston.
All right, I'd call him asap.
We may need some signatures.
For? I can only discuss that with Family members.
All right? Thanks, doc.
This one has a Gold-Flecked Velvet lining with matching Pillow and, of course, the Lining extends throughout the Entire casket which is Solid steel with platinum chrome Piping.
This is why it's Considered the Mercedes benz of Caskets.
And how much? And the cemetery fees, the Cost of the embalming, the wake, All that? I'd have to sit down in front Of the computer ballpark.
About $40,000.
Jesus, it'd be cheaper to buy A used Mercedes, put him in the Trunk, and drive him off a Goddamn bridge.
Tom, what do you Think? How much is this one? The honda civic? $3,000.
Yeah.
I think we're gonna go with That one.
I'll get started on the Paperwork.
Yeah, sorry, pal.
Jesus Christ, what are we Burying king tut over here? Yeah, hello? Lou, Jerry had a heart Attack.
Oh, shit! What? Jerry had a heart attack.
How's he doing? He's walking around eating a Philly cheese steak.
How do you Think he's doing? Look, why don't you just give Me the skinny, ok? His son.
We got to get A hold of him.
You got digits on Jerry's Son? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, it's a done deal.
Where you guys at? The funeral parlor, picking Out a casket for Johnny.
Ah, shit.
Maybe you better See if you can get a 2-For-1 Deal.
Talk to you soon.
Right here.
You know, we're not even Actually sure that that's what Happened.
It doesn't take a Genius to figure it out.
All I'm Saying is you don't really know That he actually took the Viagra.
Ok, ok.
Let's look at the Situation.
He comes to me, says I'm dating this chick.
I think Something might happen.
She's Younger than me.
I need a little Help.
Can you get me something That's going to help so? Right, blah, blah, blah.
I Give him the stuff.
Next thing We know, he's in the hospital in A coma.
I'm tellin' you, if this Were an episode of columbo, I'd Be sweatin' my balls off.
Look, and all I'm saying is Given Jerry's age and his weight And the stress that he's been Under, ok? If and I'm not Saying he did but if he Actually took the viagra that You gave him, you know what, When all is said and done, you Did him a favor.
How you figure that? You gave him a magnificent Hard-On that he could leave this Godforsaken planet with.
Yeah, I feel so much better Now.
You know, how would you Rather go out lying there Burned up like Stack in some Hospital bed where they come in And take a piece of you bit by Bit like you're a goddamn Mr.
Potato head.
Mm-Hmm.
Or like Jerry ha ha banging Away, free as a bird, his cock As hard as a shovel.
Huh? Mr.
Potato head style or cock like a Shovel? Well? I'm thinking.
Shovel cock.
Huh? Shovel cock.
That's my boy.
Ahh.
You have 6 messages.
Sent Yesterday at 4:30 P.
M.
This is scanello construction About the living room wall work.
Us.
Please call us back.
Thank You.
Sent yesterday at Hi, I got some news.
Give me a call, cutie.
Sent yesterday at 7:24 P.
M.
Ken, it's me.
I can't Wait to talk to you.
Bye.
Sent yesterday at 7:55 P.
M.
Ken? Hello? I just packed up my books.
Uh, ok.
Yeah, bye.
Sent yesterday at 9:56 P.
M.
Tom? Hey, Tom are you There? T.
, Tommy, ok, um I feel Bad.
I, um, um, Jesus.
Sent yesterday at 9:58 P.
M.
I really want.
Look Tom, I know this is bad man.
I really Do.
But I love her, man.
And I Really, really care about her.
But here's the thing.
You you're my brother.
And I Want whatever's best for you and These kids and her.
I, um, I do Care for her, t.
But I get this Sense that she's still kinda Carrying a torch for you.
I Don't know.
Maybe that's the Best thing.
I know this Would be a hard thing for you And me to get over.
But that's secondary, man.
Just Please call me, please.
I love You, Tommy.
So call me, please, Asap.
And I'm sorry.
I was I Was out of my goddamn mind.
T.
Tommy Tommy! Johnny's partner is on The phone.
They found the guy.
Yeah? We'll give you 10 minutes.
That's the best I can do, bro.
Nobody's watching, the camera's Are off, the 2 way, room there Is empty.
The whole 9 yards.
He's all yours, pal.
Ready? Yeah.
Ok.
What'd they, uh, pay you? I don't know.
How much? M-Maybe, um what? Prolly, like, like, 8,000.
my brother was 41.
A year, basically, right? Yeah, something like that.
How much time do you figure That would've bought us? That would be prolly 6 I don't months, Days, l I dunno.
What's the difference? How do how do you get 6 Out of maybe 7.
Get up.
Put your hands on the table.
Hands out open your legs.
Spread your legs out.
Come on.
Stick your ass in the air.
What? Stick your ass up in the air.
Come on! You like that? Huh? Well, you better get used to it, Pal, 'cause this is the position You're gonna be in for the Next 30 40 years.
Takin' it up the ass, bitch.
Ok, bro.
Hi.
Hey.
Listen, you gotta get me The hell outta here.
For the funeral? Teddy, I'm Sorry it's too late for that.
The funeral? Christ, no.
My wife, she's drivin' me nuts.
Um, I'm a little lost here.
You mark my words, once I'm Sprung she'll lose all interest In me.
That's her m.
O.
What? I'm sorry, what? What line of defense do you Want me to take here? Call the mothers against Drunk drivin', the aclu, Call the teamsters, I don't Give a shit, just get me the Trial and let me plea my case.
Get me out of here.
Now.
It's totally unfair.
Why? Because in a bar full of hot Chicks, you can flirt and And chat and get phone numbers And blah blah blah, and you can Do the same thing in a bar Full of guys.
You see what holy shit.
Take a look at that broad over There at the corner of the bar.
Just what's the matter with You? Don't be so obvious! I wasn't gonna be obvious, Jerk.
I know what I'm doing.
Yeah.
Well, go easy all Right? Try subtlety.
I'm not j.
V.
Yeah, ok, well, you sure Ain't varsity, Jack ass.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Get over here.
Oh, shit.
Yeah, you see what I'm Saying? She's with a dude.
This is what I'm saying.
I can't over there 'cause she's With a guy, but you can go over There a-A-And hit on both of 'Em.
That's why this is unfair.
Wait.
Where are you goin'? I'm goin' to swing both ways, Bro.
Wait.
Yeah, hello? You left me a message? Oh, hey, uh, yeah, I just, I was a little concerned For you.
I wanted to see How you were holding up.
Yeah, I'm fine, and why? Uh, well, I don't know, Maggie, because maybe we were Sleeping in the same bed Until up about 4 days ago And I thought maybe you'd Be concerned.
Hey, Garrity, do me a favor.
Don't call me anymore.
Hey, you called me.
No, you called me first.
What are you 12? Hey, how'd it go? You're not gonna like it.
What happened? They're brother and sister.
And he's gay, and I got both Their digits, bro.
I hit the jackpot.
Sean? All right ok.
Time for you to hit the books.
No, mamita, carite, don't go.
I have to go, pillow lips.
Ritchie's expecting me.
Study time.
Huh.
That is just unfair.
I know.
Am I crazy? No but, uh, I think I might be.
What the hell? Pop.
Dad? Hey, kid, what are you doin' Here? You're in the hospital.
What? You had a heart attack, But you're fine.
You're In really good hands.
Just relax and everything Will be ok.
I gotta work, I got a day Tour.
No, no, pop, you can't do That.
Uh-Uh.
Relax.
You have to relax that's all.
Hello, can we get some Help please, hello.
Papa, just relax, you gotta Keep all this in.
I can't breathe.
You had a heart attack.
Just relax, you're ok.
Do you want a few minutes alone? Mm-Mmm.
So, a-A-Ahem, what do you Want to, uh, do, ahem, Open casket-Wise? I don't know, Tom, Some people might want to see Him one last time, you know.
It doesn't even look like him.
He's all painted up, and I love those dress blues though.
This isn't him.
What'd I tell you after Connor's burial? That's why I don't go To the cemetery.
That's not him.
It's just a it's just a body.
He's he's gone.
Hello? Hey, it's me.
I was just thinking About you.
Oh, good, that's What I was hopin' to hear.
Did you, um, give any more Thought to, you know, the boat? Yes, yes, I did.
And? I'm in.
Goddamn.
Sorry.
No, it's gonna be perfect For me.
I mean living on a boat, Spending like the entire day On a boat living out in The hamptons and then all Of the winters just you and I can we get a dog? Yeah, sure.
Dog, cats, you Know, birds.
We can get birds, Do you like birds? No, do you? No, no, I don't.
Filthy Animals, but of course, You know, we can get one If you want.
That is so sweet.
I got to go.
You always made me laugh, Johnny.
Ahem.
The time you put that frog In my bed, and then I put That other frog in your bed, And you, uh, you got so Attached to the frog you kept Him in a jar on the night table Between the 2 beds.
And then as we came to find out, Frogs can't live in jars, and Then you had that frog funeral, And you gave the eulogy.
I was bitin' my lip the whole time.
And remember that time When I was 10 we saw that old Cagney movie on TV? With the guys with the Tommy Guns leanin' out of the car Windows and you started callin' Me Tommy gun.
And then everybody on the block Started calling me Tommy gun, And that was my nickname all the way Through high school, and then we Saw mean streets, and I started Calling you Johnny boy after Deniro's character.
You thought That was so cool.
I'm sorry what I done to you, Johnny.
I called you.
I wanted to say I was sorry What I done to you.
Ah I wish I knew If you got the message or not aah! That's it, definitely Closed casket, ok? We got a nice picture of him Here.
You know, handsome, Glowing, big smile on his face.
Everybody'll enjoy it ah-Haa what's wrong? Ah, my hand got closed In the casket.
Oh, ok, oh, my God.
Lou, get the guy.
Where you goin'? You said to get the guy.
Give me a hand.
Aah not there, on the other side.
Shit.
Aah ohh! Oh, my God, oh, my God, Oh, my God.
Oh, oh, you're gonna Lose one nail, maybe 2.
Ohh uhh what? You left him a message? Yeah.
Did he get it? Don't freak out about it.
I'm not the one freaking About it.
I'm not freaking out.
That Much.
Ok, so what, so you look Vaguely, in a barely noticeable Way, really, you know, what? Around the nose, uh, a little Bit around the eyes, and a tiny, Tiny, little bit around the lips Like my daughter.
So what? You hear that sound in your Voice? Yeah? That's the sound of you Freaking out.
I don't see what the problem Is.
The problem is you gotta Figure out what's going on with The women in your life.
You gotta figure out what you're Doin' with me.
What you did With your daughter.
All right, look, I think About you all the time.
Ok? I mean like you got me bouncin' Off the walls in the firehouse, You can ask the guys.
L I feel like I can't eat When I'm not with you.
I can't breathe when I am.
You know, I'm just shit, I love you, Natalie.
Well, you've got the me part Figured out.
Now it's time for You to think about Keela for a Little while.
They brought this stuff From the hospital a couple hours After.
Thank you.
Thanks.
You have one unheard Message.
First unheard message.
Hey, uh, Johnny, it's me.
Listen, man, ahem, about the, Uh, thing at the firehouse The other day, I, uh, I just wanted to say, You know, I'm sorry, man, You know, but, what can I say, Man? I still love her, you know, I always have, I screwed up, And I don't blame you for, Uh, you know, she's a great Chick, man.
She's just, uh, I don't have to tell you.
Um I love her, man, l I wish I Hadn't had my head up my ass All these years when it came To her, but anyways, uh, , uh, so To delete, press 7.
To save The lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down In green pastures.
He leadeth me beside the still Waters.
He restoreth my soul.
He leadeth me in the paths Of righteousness for his name's Sake.
Yea, though I walk through The valley of the shadow Of death I will fear no evil For thou art with me.
Thy rod and thy staff, They comfort me.
Thou preparest A table before me in the Presence of mine enemies.
Thou annointest my head with Oil.
My cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy Shall follow me all the days Of my life, and I will dwell in The house of the lord forever.
Lord God, our father, please Watch over and welcome your Servant John Gavin into your Heavenly kingdom.
Where he will Live forever with all the angels And saints, and all who have Departed before him.
Let our Sorrow be tempered by the fact That John rests now in your Loving embrace.
The same embrace That awaits each one of us when Our time here on earth is done.
In the name of the father, The son, and the holy spirit.
Amen.
Amen.
That was nice, huh? Thank you.
So what's the deal, You speak sign language? Yeah, I speak sign language.
Like I was born without ears.
How about you? Yeah, of course, obviously, You saw me.
Hey.
Hi.
Good.
Rosemarie, this is Sean.
Sean, this is rosemarie Our long lost sister.
I've heard a lot about you.
From who? From Maggie.
Of course.
Nice to meet you.
The girls katie, kelly.
What did I say, I didn't Even know you had a sister.
She was born deaf and mute, And eventually she gained The ability to use her vocal Chords, like, to a limited Extent, but my parents they Put her in a private school So she wouldn't embarrass The family.
Never visited her, Never even spoke her name.
Hello, daughter.
Hi, dad.
Everything that's happened Between us life is too short.
How do you say "I'm sorry" With your hands? How did you learn sign Language anyway? It's so sexy.
Well, my grandmother was Deaf, and I really loved her A lot, she was a sweet lady.
We used to spend whole Afternoons in the summer Just signing.
I remember This one time when she was On her deathbed, actually, This is a funny story.
Ok, that's enough with sob Story, signmeister, let's go, We gotta roll.
What? Roll where? Hey, father francis.
Maggie, I'm so sorry For your troubles.
Oh, you don't know the least Of it.
How much to marry Sean And me, here.
Um, when? Well, right now, here.
Oh, um Here? Oh, uh, this is a sacred Burial ground, Maggie, l not here, right here, Like here, over by that tree, Here.
Oh, well, you know it's Against the rules of the Catholic church to marry 2 People outdoors unless there's A very specific, Special dispensation.
Well, how much did Tommy Pay you to do the funeral mass And then this part? We'll give you 400 To marry us here today.
We will? You got it on you? You got any cabbage on you? No, I have like $40 on me.
I didn't think I would be Getting married today, Which is I guess what's Happening apparently.
Make it 500, you pay me By check.
Done deal.
Oh.
Hey, everybody, come back, Hey.
Sweetie, grab some flowers Off the casket, meet me under The tree, ok? But this is crazy.
You wanted a priest.
I'm getting you a priest, And we're makin' it easier For everyone.
Mwah! Hurry up! I'm going.
Hey, everybody, hold up! Yo! I'm gettin' married! Sean, do you take Maggie To be your lawfully wedded wife, To have and to hold, for richer Or poorer, in sickness and In health, till death Do you part? I do.
Excuse me, excuse me.
Do you mind? We're trying To get married here.
You're standing on my Mother her her grave.
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
Sorry.
Honey, why don't we ok, yeah, everybody move Sorry.
You got one crazy family.
Don't tell me.
I'm gettin' Out of it.
Maggie, do you take Sean To be could you wrap it up, Father, before somebody else Wants to visit whoever We're standing on now.
Of course, do you? I do.
I now pronounce you man and Wife.
You may kiss the bride.
Aww hey, is it kosher to applaud A wedding in a cemetery? Can't hurt, right? Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Mr.
And Mrs what was the last name again? Garrity-Gavin.
Gavin-Garrity.
I present to you Mr.
And Mrs gavity.
Yeah! Oh, no, those are mine.
Those are mine, But those are nice.
So you don't, uh, follow Any sports? Eh, a little soccer, A little tennis, what about you? La crosse.
Really, tough sport.
Excuse me.
Hey, Tommy, can we turn The music off? Honey, people are Enjoying it.
Given the circumstances Isn't this a little Inappropriate.
Ok, honey, we just Had Maggie's fourth wedding, ok? Moments after we finished Burying Johnny, ok? I think this entire Family's inappropriate.
All right, and do me a favor? Hnn dance with my daughter Please? Hey.
So goddamn corny.
Oh, so how are you? On a scale of 1 to 10? Yeah.
In together, great sex, Great house.
On the beach In san diego, I'm working With speech impaired kids.
He's a carpenter.
No money, But total happiness.
I heard about you and Janet And Johnny.
Yeah.
Listen, it's all about Sex and love, right? Life? We can all die tomorrow.
Happy is the key.
You gotta be happy.
Nice speech.
Know where I first heard That speech? Where? From you.
After all they've put me Through, mom and dad, You know how that made me feel.
You gave me that speech.
You opened up my eyes.
You opened up my ears, Tommy.
You made it seem So clear cut.
Thank you.
Now, if you excuse me, I absolutely must go dance With kenny shea.
I got big news.
You look very hot in That dress.
Pretend you're Lookin' at the pictures.
Ok.
Like this right over here.
Ooh.
I bought the house.
You bought the house? The one that you liked.
Mm-Hmm, the one I liked? Yeah, you know with the deck And the tiki doohickey thing.
You paid for it? I did.
Do me a favor? Stop pretending your lookin' At the pictures now And meet me in the hallway In like 5 seconds.
Ok.
Ok? Mm-Hmm.
All right.
Ahem.
Oh, hey, haven't you ever Heard of knockin' first? Jesus! Ignore 'em, we're on our Honeymoon.
What? Oh! We're just t-Talkin'.
Ahem.
No, really really, Tommy, We're just talkin'.
That's a little disturbing.
All right, ahem.
Made my decision.
I'm gonna leave the FDNY.
I'm a friend of Lou's.
So Just I'll be a minute.
Nice.
Yeah, she's cute, huh? Yeah.
I have one boundary, Lou.
One Boundary and one boundary Only no sex with nuns in the Place where I live.
You know what, let's just Take these 3 and put 'em into a Big what-If Stack.
Um, we totally picked the Same order.
I'm actually Interested in this one, Specifically.
Mmm.
I'll take it.
This is gonna sound kinda Strange, but, uh, I think I'm Getting submarined by a retard.
You and me, this ain't about Power, ritchie.
It's about both Of us loving Natalie.
I think we got some stuff in Common.
Like what? We're both smarter than we Look.
Mike's gay.
Yeah, tell me something I Don't know.
Oh, you mean gay gay.
I need some viagra.
I'm Serious.
Ok.
It's for the Chief.
He's got A new girlfriend.
He's afraid About performing.
You can't let anyone at my Job know about this.
I got it.
Second of all, I'm an Illegal.
Oh! Oh, Jesus.
What's wrong, baby? God.
My chest.
You're gonna be ok.
Please, call somebody.
Call Help me here.
Unh.
Uhh.
You know what, Maggie? After Your performance the other day With the priest, I went home and I was really upset.
And I was Thinking about you, and I threw Up.
And I thought to myself, you Know what? I'm not the smartest Guy on the planet, but maybe you Shouldn't get married to a Person that actually makes you Throw up.
Janet's pregnant.
It wasn't Planned.
You know, it just Happened.
I want this.
Whether it's his Or yours, I want this child to Replace what we lost.
Johnny, Johnny! Hey, hey, you Ok? You hear me, Johnny.
Jesus, Jesus.
Dispatch, dispatch, 1013, Officer down.
Dispatch, officer Down.
We need an ambulance.
[Hell is 'rou By tricky plays.]
* I stand firm for our soil, Lick a rock on foil, Say reduce me, seduce me, Dress me up in stussy, Hell is round the corner Where I shelter, Ism's and schisms, We're living helter skelter, If you believe and deceive Common sense says shouldn't Receive, let me take you down The corridors of my life, And when you walk, Do you walk to your preference? No need to answer Till I take further evidence, I seem to need a reference To get residence, A reference to your preference To say, I'm a good neighbor, I trudge, so judge me From my labor, The bond on me ensures My good behavior, The constant strum Insures my insanity, Passing the ignorance Ensures the struggle For my family, We're hungry Beware of our appetite, Distant drums bring the news Of a kill tonight, The kill which I share With my passengers, We take our fill, take our fill, Take our fill, I stand firm for our soil Lick a rock on foil, Say reduce me, seduce me, Dress me up in stussy, Confused by different memories, Details of asian remedies, Conversations Of what's become of enemies, My brain thinks bomb-Like, So I listen he's a calm type.
And as I grow, I grow collective, Before the move Sit on the perspective, Mr.
Quaye lay in the crevice, And watches from the precipice, Imperial passage, Heat from the sun Some days slowly passes, Until then, You have to live with yourself Until then, You have to live with yourself * * I stand firm for our soil Lick a rock on foil, Say reduce me, seduce me, Dress me up in stussy, Hell is round the corner * * where I shelter Ism's and schisms, We're living helter skelter, If you believe and deceive Common sense Says shouldn't receive, Let me take you down the Corridors * * my brain thinks bomb-Like, Bomb-Like, My brain thinks bomb-Like, Bomb-Like, bomb-Like, My brain thinks bomb-Like * * on another day Come on, come on, With these ropes I tied Can we do no wrong, Now we grieve 'Cause now is gone, Things were good When we were young, With my teeth locked down I can see the blood Of a thousand men Who have come and gone, Now we grieve 'Cause now is gone, Things were good When we were young, Is it safe to say? * * come on, come on * * was it right to leave? * * come on, come on * * will I ever learn? * * come on, come on, come on, Come on, come on, come on * Jesus Christ, he's now Officially 2 hours overdue.
I Mean, this is unheard of.
Jerry Is never late.
Yeah, still getting Tommy's Voicemail.
Called him at home, Machine's full.
I thought he was in the Shower when I left this morning.
Maybe he liked slipped and Knocked himself out.
You know what, the way his Life's been going, it would be An improvement.
What do you want to do, Lou? What do I want to do? What Does Lou want to do? Lou wants To sit here with a box of donuts And watch frankenstein.
That's What Lou wants to do.
Although that particular Combination usually leads to a Jerk off session.
So, Lou will Just stand here and worry.
Hey.
Hey.
They, uh, they shot my brother.
What? Ahh.
I gotta go tell my old man in Person.
And I'm afraid about how He might react.
He might Collapse or what.
So l-I need Somebody to give me a hand.
Yeah, sure.
Guys, you're not going to Believe it.
The most beautiful Woman's walking by the firehouse Right now with the biggest tits I've ever seen in my life.
It's Like a double eclipse.
Come on, Check it out.
Let's go.
Uh, Lou, what do you want to Do about Jerry? Oh, yeah, t.
, Jerry's Missing.
Call izzy.
Ran into him a Couple of days ago.
Said he was Off today.
Call hutch 'n bronson Over at 73 truck.
They're doing A softball tournament out of That house.
They can probably Come over and cover.
Mikey, call izzy.
If he can't Make it, you get needles nelson Over here.
Right? I'll dig his Number out of my cell phone for You.
Franco, get a hold of these Guys.
Get on the rig.
Get over To Jerry's.
Find out what's Going on.
You got it.
Unbelievable.
Totally fake.
I Don't understand why they do This to me all the time.
Jesus, who died? They got a lead on this guy? Johnny was going to testify Against this drug dealer.
Bronx Guy had 2 strikes against him And he's definitely going down For life probably.
Scumbags.
Yeah.
Must of hired one of The guys who works for him to do The shootin'.
Johnny's partner Got a dead-On look at the guy.
So hey, Lou, thanks for doing this.
I appreciate it.
Don't thank me yet, I'm not Sure this is going to go all That well.
He ain't movin' out! I'm not moving out.
Are you guys deaf?! Dad, I think, uh I think you're gonna want to sit Down.
Don't tell him what to do.
That's right.
He wants to stand.
I'm gonna stand.
Mr.
Gavin, I think, you Maybe should be sittin' down When you hear what Tommy has to Say.
Ah, shite.
I'll get the whiskey.
All right, bring it on.
What Is it? Johnny's dead.
They shot him.
He was on a stakeout, last Night.
I'm going to the bathroom.
I need a little privacy for a Moment.
Hey, Chief, the uh the side Door is locked.
Oh, yeah.
You wanna break this glass? Oh, I don't think so.
This is Beveled glass, man.
He'll shit If we break this.
Yeah.
Hey, Chief, his car's around Back.
How 'bout this window here.
You want to break that one? Now that's a storm window.
You know what we went to the Track last week.
The guy Owes me 40 bucks.
Let's see If we can find a $40 window.
Shit, shit, up here guys! Up Here! He's over here! Jerry! Jerry! Ah, shit.
Come on, Franco, grab him.
Let's roll.
Jesus, let's go.
Is he breathing? Oh, my God.
Yeah, he is.
He's breathing.
He's breathing.
Go get a Stretcher.
Tell nils to get a Stretcher.
Yeah, Pauly, hurry up.
It's going to be all right, Chief.
Just hang in there.
All right, here's the deal.
No black suits.
No black ties.
No black dresses.
The only Formal clothes will be his Police brethren and their dress Blues.
I want everyone in Colors, bright colors like Spring in bloom.
I want to celebrate my kid's Life, not his death what he did While he was on this planet, how He almost always put a put a Smile on my face every time he Walked into a room.
You follow? Yeah.
Follow.
Red? Yeah.
We're going to need a lot More whiskey.
Hey, baby.
Ok, good luck, pal.
It's ok, ellie.
It's ok.
It's all right.
It's ok.
I heard about your nephew Johnny.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Johnny, yeah.
Aren't you upset? Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I was.
When I First heard, I was very, very Upset.
I was pretty close to Crying.
Yeah.
But you got to Remember, sweetie, I mean Johnny Was a cop.
I mean, firefighters We get burned up, we get knocked Around.
Sometimes we even get Killed.
But cops get shot at Every goddamn day of the week.
He knew that going in what are you doing?! How can you think about sex Right now?! You the gentlemen who are Here with Mr.
Reilly? Yeah.
Yeah.
Ok, your Chief has had a Fairly significant heart attack.
Shit.
All right, we got him Stabilized.
We're assessing the Damage.
Now anybody here from His immediate family? Uh, well, we are his Immediate family, doc.
I mean, He's got a son up in boston.
All right, I'd call him asap.
We may need some signatures.
For? I can only discuss that with Family members.
All right? Thanks, doc.
This one has a Gold-Flecked Velvet lining with matching Pillow and, of course, the Lining extends throughout the Entire casket which is Solid steel with platinum chrome Piping.
This is why it's Considered the Mercedes benz of Caskets.
And how much? And the cemetery fees, the Cost of the embalming, the wake, All that? I'd have to sit down in front Of the computer ballpark.
About $40,000.
Jesus, it'd be cheaper to buy A used Mercedes, put him in the Trunk, and drive him off a Goddamn bridge.
Tom, what do you Think? How much is this one? The honda civic? $3,000.
Yeah.
I think we're gonna go with That one.
I'll get started on the Paperwork.
Yeah, sorry, pal.
Jesus Christ, what are we Burying king tut over here? Yeah, hello? Lou, Jerry had a heart Attack.
Oh, shit! What? Jerry had a heart attack.
How's he doing? He's walking around eating a Philly cheese steak.
How do you Think he's doing? Look, why don't you just give Me the skinny, ok? His son.
We got to get A hold of him.
You got digits on Jerry's Son? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, it's a done deal.
Where you guys at? The funeral parlor, picking Out a casket for Johnny.
Ah, shit.
Maybe you better See if you can get a 2-For-1 Deal.
Talk to you soon.
Right here.
You know, we're not even Actually sure that that's what Happened.
It doesn't take a Genius to figure it out.
All I'm Saying is you don't really know That he actually took the Viagra.
Ok, ok.
Let's look at the Situation.
He comes to me, says I'm dating this chick.
I think Something might happen.
She's Younger than me.
I need a little Help.
Can you get me something That's going to help so? Right, blah, blah, blah.
I Give him the stuff.
Next thing We know, he's in the hospital in A coma.
I'm tellin' you, if this Were an episode of columbo, I'd Be sweatin' my balls off.
Look, and all I'm saying is Given Jerry's age and his weight And the stress that he's been Under, ok? If and I'm not Saying he did but if he Actually took the viagra that You gave him, you know what, When all is said and done, you Did him a favor.
How you figure that? You gave him a magnificent Hard-On that he could leave this Godforsaken planet with.
Yeah, I feel so much better Now.
You know, how would you Rather go out lying there Burned up like Stack in some Hospital bed where they come in And take a piece of you bit by Bit like you're a goddamn Mr.
Potato head.
Mm-Hmm.
Or like Jerry ha ha banging Away, free as a bird, his cock As hard as a shovel.
Huh? Mr.
Potato head style or cock like a Shovel? Well? I'm thinking.
Shovel cock.
Huh? Shovel cock.
That's my boy.
Ahh.
You have 6 messages.
Sent Yesterday at 4:30 P.
M.
This is scanello construction About the living room wall work.
Us.
Please call us back.
Thank You.
Sent yesterday at Hi, I got some news.
Give me a call, cutie.
Sent yesterday at 7:24 P.
M.
Ken, it's me.
I can't Wait to talk to you.
Bye.
Sent yesterday at 7:55 P.
M.
Ken? Hello? I just packed up my books.
Uh, ok.
Yeah, bye.
Sent yesterday at 9:56 P.
M.
Tom? Hey, Tom are you There? T.
, Tommy, ok, um I feel Bad.
I, um, um, Jesus.
Sent yesterday at 9:58 P.
M.
I really want.
Look Tom, I know this is bad man.
I really Do.
But I love her, man.
And I Really, really care about her.
But here's the thing.
You you're my brother.
And I Want whatever's best for you and These kids and her.
I, um, I do Care for her, t.
But I get this Sense that she's still kinda Carrying a torch for you.
I Don't know.
Maybe that's the Best thing.
I know this Would be a hard thing for you And me to get over.
But that's secondary, man.
Just Please call me, please.
I love You, Tommy.
So call me, please, Asap.
And I'm sorry.
I was I Was out of my goddamn mind.
T.
Tommy Tommy! Johnny's partner is on The phone.
They found the guy.
Yeah? We'll give you 10 minutes.
That's the best I can do, bro.
Nobody's watching, the camera's Are off, the 2 way, room there Is empty.
The whole 9 yards.
He's all yours, pal.
Ready? Yeah.
Ok.
What'd they, uh, pay you? I don't know.
How much? M-Maybe, um what? Prolly, like, like, 8,000.
my brother was 41.
A year, basically, right? Yeah, something like that.
How much time do you figure That would've bought us? That would be prolly 6 I don't months, Days, l I dunno.
What's the difference? How do how do you get 6 Out of maybe 7.
Get up.
Put your hands on the table.
Hands out open your legs.
Spread your legs out.
Come on.
Stick your ass in the air.
What? Stick your ass up in the air.
Come on! You like that? Huh? Well, you better get used to it, Pal, 'cause this is the position You're gonna be in for the Next 30 40 years.
Takin' it up the ass, bitch.
Ok, bro.
Hi.
Hey.
Listen, you gotta get me The hell outta here.
For the funeral? Teddy, I'm Sorry it's too late for that.
The funeral? Christ, no.
My wife, she's drivin' me nuts.
Um, I'm a little lost here.
You mark my words, once I'm Sprung she'll lose all interest In me.
That's her m.
O.
What? I'm sorry, what? What line of defense do you Want me to take here? Call the mothers against Drunk drivin', the aclu, Call the teamsters, I don't Give a shit, just get me the Trial and let me plea my case.
Get me out of here.
Now.
It's totally unfair.
Why? Because in a bar full of hot Chicks, you can flirt and And chat and get phone numbers And blah blah blah, and you can Do the same thing in a bar Full of guys.
You see what holy shit.
Take a look at that broad over There at the corner of the bar.
Just what's the matter with You? Don't be so obvious! I wasn't gonna be obvious, Jerk.
I know what I'm doing.
Yeah.
Well, go easy all Right? Try subtlety.
I'm not j.
V.
Yeah, ok, well, you sure Ain't varsity, Jack ass.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Get over here.
Oh, shit.
Yeah, you see what I'm Saying? She's with a dude.
This is what I'm saying.
I can't over there 'cause she's With a guy, but you can go over There a-A-And hit on both of 'Em.
That's why this is unfair.
Wait.
Where are you goin'? I'm goin' to swing both ways, Bro.
Wait.
Yeah, hello? You left me a message? Oh, hey, uh, yeah, I just, I was a little concerned For you.
I wanted to see How you were holding up.
Yeah, I'm fine, and why? Uh, well, I don't know, Maggie, because maybe we were Sleeping in the same bed Until up about 4 days ago And I thought maybe you'd Be concerned.
Hey, Garrity, do me a favor.
Don't call me anymore.
Hey, you called me.
No, you called me first.
What are you 12? Hey, how'd it go? You're not gonna like it.
What happened? They're brother and sister.
And he's gay, and I got both Their digits, bro.
I hit the jackpot.
Sean? All right ok.
Time for you to hit the books.
No, mamita, carite, don't go.
I have to go, pillow lips.
Ritchie's expecting me.
Study time.
Huh.
That is just unfair.
I know.
Am I crazy? No but, uh, I think I might be.
What the hell? Pop.
Dad? Hey, kid, what are you doin' Here? You're in the hospital.
What? You had a heart attack, But you're fine.
You're In really good hands.
Just relax and everything Will be ok.
I gotta work, I got a day Tour.
No, no, pop, you can't do That.
Uh-Uh.
Relax.
You have to relax that's all.
Hello, can we get some Help please, hello.
Papa, just relax, you gotta Keep all this in.
I can't breathe.
You had a heart attack.
Just relax, you're ok.
Do you want a few minutes alone? Mm-Mmm.
So, a-A-Ahem, what do you Want to, uh, do, ahem, Open casket-Wise? I don't know, Tom, Some people might want to see Him one last time, you know.
It doesn't even look like him.
He's all painted up, and I love those dress blues though.
This isn't him.
What'd I tell you after Connor's burial? That's why I don't go To the cemetery.
That's not him.
It's just a it's just a body.
He's he's gone.
Hello? Hey, it's me.
I was just thinking About you.
Oh, good, that's What I was hopin' to hear.
Did you, um, give any more Thought to, you know, the boat? Yes, yes, I did.
And? I'm in.
Goddamn.
Sorry.
No, it's gonna be perfect For me.
I mean living on a boat, Spending like the entire day On a boat living out in The hamptons and then all Of the winters just you and I can we get a dog? Yeah, sure.
Dog, cats, you Know, birds.
We can get birds, Do you like birds? No, do you? No, no, I don't.
Filthy Animals, but of course, You know, we can get one If you want.
That is so sweet.
I got to go.
You always made me laugh, Johnny.
Ahem.
The time you put that frog In my bed, and then I put That other frog in your bed, And you, uh, you got so Attached to the frog you kept Him in a jar on the night table Between the 2 beds.
And then as we came to find out, Frogs can't live in jars, and Then you had that frog funeral, And you gave the eulogy.
I was bitin' my lip the whole time.
And remember that time When I was 10 we saw that old Cagney movie on TV? With the guys with the Tommy Guns leanin' out of the car Windows and you started callin' Me Tommy gun.
And then everybody on the block Started calling me Tommy gun, And that was my nickname all the way Through high school, and then we Saw mean streets, and I started Calling you Johnny boy after Deniro's character.
You thought That was so cool.
I'm sorry what I done to you, Johnny.
I called you.
I wanted to say I was sorry What I done to you.
Ah I wish I knew If you got the message or not aah! That's it, definitely Closed casket, ok? We got a nice picture of him Here.
You know, handsome, Glowing, big smile on his face.
Everybody'll enjoy it ah-Haa what's wrong? Ah, my hand got closed In the casket.
Oh, ok, oh, my God.
Lou, get the guy.
Where you goin'? You said to get the guy.
Give me a hand.
Aah not there, on the other side.
Shit.
Aah ohh! Oh, my God, oh, my God, Oh, my God.
Oh, oh, you're gonna Lose one nail, maybe 2.
Ohh uhh what? You left him a message? Yeah.
Did he get it? Don't freak out about it.
I'm not the one freaking About it.
I'm not freaking out.
That Much.
Ok, so what, so you look Vaguely, in a barely noticeable Way, really, you know, what? Around the nose, uh, a little Bit around the eyes, and a tiny, Tiny, little bit around the lips Like my daughter.
So what? You hear that sound in your Voice? Yeah? That's the sound of you Freaking out.
I don't see what the problem Is.
The problem is you gotta Figure out what's going on with The women in your life.
You gotta figure out what you're Doin' with me.
What you did With your daughter.
All right, look, I think About you all the time.
Ok? I mean like you got me bouncin' Off the walls in the firehouse, You can ask the guys.
L I feel like I can't eat When I'm not with you.
I can't breathe when I am.
You know, I'm just shit, I love you, Natalie.
Well, you've got the me part Figured out.
Now it's time for You to think about Keela for a Little while.
They brought this stuff From the hospital a couple hours After.
Thank you.
Thanks.
You have one unheard Message.
First unheard message.
Hey, uh, Johnny, it's me.
Listen, man, ahem, about the, Uh, thing at the firehouse The other day, I, uh, I just wanted to say, You know, I'm sorry, man, You know, but, what can I say, Man? I still love her, you know, I always have, I screwed up, And I don't blame you for, Uh, you know, she's a great Chick, man.
She's just, uh, I don't have to tell you.
Um I love her, man, l I wish I Hadn't had my head up my ass All these years when it came To her, but anyways, uh, , uh, so To delete, press 7.
To save The lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down In green pastures.
He leadeth me beside the still Waters.
He restoreth my soul.
He leadeth me in the paths Of righteousness for his name's Sake.
Yea, though I walk through The valley of the shadow Of death I will fear no evil For thou art with me.
Thy rod and thy staff, They comfort me.
Thou preparest A table before me in the Presence of mine enemies.
Thou annointest my head with Oil.
My cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy Shall follow me all the days Of my life, and I will dwell in The house of the lord forever.
Lord God, our father, please Watch over and welcome your Servant John Gavin into your Heavenly kingdom.
Where he will Live forever with all the angels And saints, and all who have Departed before him.
Let our Sorrow be tempered by the fact That John rests now in your Loving embrace.
The same embrace That awaits each one of us when Our time here on earth is done.
In the name of the father, The son, and the holy spirit.
Amen.
Amen.
That was nice, huh? Thank you.
So what's the deal, You speak sign language? Yeah, I speak sign language.
Like I was born without ears.
How about you? Yeah, of course, obviously, You saw me.
Hey.
Hi.
Good.
Rosemarie, this is Sean.
Sean, this is rosemarie Our long lost sister.
I've heard a lot about you.
From who? From Maggie.
Of course.
Nice to meet you.
The girls katie, kelly.
What did I say, I didn't Even know you had a sister.
She was born deaf and mute, And eventually she gained The ability to use her vocal Chords, like, to a limited Extent, but my parents they Put her in a private school So she wouldn't embarrass The family.
Never visited her, Never even spoke her name.
Hello, daughter.
Hi, dad.
Everything that's happened Between us life is too short.
How do you say "I'm sorry" With your hands? How did you learn sign Language anyway? It's so sexy.
Well, my grandmother was Deaf, and I really loved her A lot, she was a sweet lady.
We used to spend whole Afternoons in the summer Just signing.
I remember This one time when she was On her deathbed, actually, This is a funny story.
Ok, that's enough with sob Story, signmeister, let's go, We gotta roll.
What? Roll where? Hey, father francis.
Maggie, I'm so sorry For your troubles.
Oh, you don't know the least Of it.
How much to marry Sean And me, here.
Um, when? Well, right now, here.
Oh, um Here? Oh, uh, this is a sacred Burial ground, Maggie, l not here, right here, Like here, over by that tree, Here.
Oh, well, you know it's Against the rules of the Catholic church to marry 2 People outdoors unless there's A very specific, Special dispensation.
Well, how much did Tommy Pay you to do the funeral mass And then this part? We'll give you 400 To marry us here today.
We will? You got it on you? You got any cabbage on you? No, I have like $40 on me.
I didn't think I would be Getting married today, Which is I guess what's Happening apparently.
Make it 500, you pay me By check.
Done deal.
Oh.
Hey, everybody, come back, Hey.
Sweetie, grab some flowers Off the casket, meet me under The tree, ok? But this is crazy.
You wanted a priest.
I'm getting you a priest, And we're makin' it easier For everyone.
Mwah! Hurry up! I'm going.
Hey, everybody, hold up! Yo! I'm gettin' married! Sean, do you take Maggie To be your lawfully wedded wife, To have and to hold, for richer Or poorer, in sickness and In health, till death Do you part? I do.
Excuse me, excuse me.
Do you mind? We're trying To get married here.
You're standing on my Mother her her grave.
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
Sorry.
Honey, why don't we ok, yeah, everybody move Sorry.
You got one crazy family.
Don't tell me.
I'm gettin' Out of it.
Maggie, do you take Sean To be could you wrap it up, Father, before somebody else Wants to visit whoever We're standing on now.
Of course, do you? I do.
I now pronounce you man and Wife.
You may kiss the bride.
Aww hey, is it kosher to applaud A wedding in a cemetery? Can't hurt, right? Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Mr.
And Mrs what was the last name again? Garrity-Gavin.
Gavin-Garrity.
I present to you Mr.
And Mrs gavity.
Yeah! Oh, no, those are mine.
Those are mine, But those are nice.
So you don't, uh, follow Any sports? Eh, a little soccer, A little tennis, what about you? La crosse.
Really, tough sport.
Excuse me.
Hey, Tommy, can we turn The music off? Honey, people are Enjoying it.
Given the circumstances Isn't this a little Inappropriate.
Ok, honey, we just Had Maggie's fourth wedding, ok? Moments after we finished Burying Johnny, ok? I think this entire Family's inappropriate.
All right, and do me a favor? Hnn dance with my daughter Please? Hey.
So goddamn corny.
Oh, so how are you? On a scale of 1 to 10? Yeah.
In together, great sex, Great house.
On the beach In san diego, I'm working With speech impaired kids.
He's a carpenter.
No money, But total happiness.
I heard about you and Janet And Johnny.
Yeah.
Listen, it's all about Sex and love, right? Life? We can all die tomorrow.
Happy is the key.
You gotta be happy.
Nice speech.
Know where I first heard That speech? Where? From you.
After all they've put me Through, mom and dad, You know how that made me feel.
You gave me that speech.
You opened up my eyes.
You opened up my ears, Tommy.
You made it seem So clear cut.
Thank you.
Now, if you excuse me, I absolutely must go dance With kenny shea.
I got big news.
You look very hot in That dress.
Pretend you're Lookin' at the pictures.
Ok.
Like this right over here.
Ooh.
I bought the house.
You bought the house? The one that you liked.
Mm-Hmm, the one I liked? Yeah, you know with the deck And the tiki doohickey thing.
You paid for it? I did.
Do me a favor? Stop pretending your lookin' At the pictures now And meet me in the hallway In like 5 seconds.
Ok.
Ok? Mm-Hmm.
All right.
Ahem.
Oh, hey, haven't you ever Heard of knockin' first? Jesus! Ignore 'em, we're on our Honeymoon.
What? Oh! We're just t-Talkin'.
Ahem.
No, really really, Tommy, We're just talkin'.
That's a little disturbing.
All right, ahem.
Made my decision.
I'm gonna leave the FDNY.