Steven Universe (2013) s03e12 Episode Script
Restaurant Wars
1 - Garnet: # We # - # Are the Crystal # - Steven: # Gems # - # we'll always save the day # Steven: # and if you think we can't # All: # we'll always find a way # - # that's why the people # - # of this world # - Garnet: # believe in # - # Garnet # - # Amethyst # - # and Pearl # Steven: # And Steven! # Give me - the - Just hurry up and say it, Steven.
Mm, actually what else you got? You could order actual fries.
Nah.
Let's really try and shake things up today.
I want to order "off menu.
" [Sighs.]
You always order off menu, Steven.
Let me see what I can find.
I'll be back in a sec.
I really appreciate it! [Birds chirping.]
Steven! Check this out! - Boom! - Mozzarella sticks! - With all the fixin's?! - I can't believe it either! They were way back in the freezer for some reason.
Feels good to fry something else for a change.
Thanks, Peedee.
[Humming.]
[Munches.]
Steven! What is this?! - Um - Bread cheese marinara sauce! The basic elements of a pizza! - Where did it come from? - Mm.
Fryman infringing on my business.
I have been ready for this day! [Muffled.]
"Now serving fries!"?! So it begins anew.
Eh, Kofi? Just like old times, Fryman.
- Kofi! - Fryman! Both: Res-tau-rant wa-a-a-a-a-a-a-r! [Gull cries.]
Oh! Man: Too many carbs.
Peedee? Don't look at me, Steven.
- But - I said, don't look at me! - W-What happened? - I violated the food treaty.
- What do you mean? - Years ago my dad and Kofi signed an agreement to not steal each other's business, but when I fried up those mozzarella sticks, I re-ignited the hot oil of war.
[Sighs.]
Don't blame yourself.
I was the one who wanted to shake things up.
- Oh, yeah.
It's your fault.
- Hey, Steven! As a valued customer, I want to know your thoughts on our new menu item deep-fried pizza.
A-Actually, could I just get some fries? - Sorry, we're all out of fries.
- What?! Even the bits?! We have pizza bits now.
But how can you guys be out of fries? This is the Fry Shop! You're Fryman! - Look at your hair.
- What about my hair? [Groans.]
I can't connect to Fish Stew Pizza's Wi-Fi! Hey, you got no time for Interneting.
You're doing deliveries now.
But I don't even have a car! - You got those wheelie shoes, don't ya? - Yeah [Phone rings, bell jingles.]
- Jenny, you're working the counter? - I know, right? Things have been crazy since the war has been back on! The phones have been ringing off the hook.
I'll get it! Thanks for calling Fish Stew Pizza.
We do fries now.
Anyway, I'm obligated to tell you about our special new menu item French-fried pizza with a French-fried crust and twice-baked French fries on the side.
[Sighs.]
'Cause we do fries now.
- I'd rather just have my usual - Steven! - Oh.
Hey, Kofi.
- Before you place your order, you must sign [grunts.]
these papers and pledge your allegiance to Fish Stew Pizza! Not only that, you'll be issued a brand-new, permanent, - V.
I.
P.
pizza-eater card! - Aah! [Bell jingles.]
Steven! [Breathing heavily.]
Come back! Hey, Steven, y-you forgot your pizza bits! - What? Aah! - Steven, let me reward you for being such a good customer! Aah! What have I done?! Thank you all for coming.
Ronaldo Kiki Jenny and Peedee, I've called you all here tonight because this war between your parents has to stop! Steven, how do you think we feel?! Do you know how many metal concerts I've missed - because of this war? - How many? Mm, like one.
Do you know how much blogging I haven't been able to do?! I don't, but this is all my fault! If only my taste buds weren't so adventurous.
But I promise to find a way to work this out! How? There's no end in sight to all this fighting.
Hmm.
We need to stop this hate with some sort of opposite of hate.
- [Gasps.]
Ronaldo! - Hmm? - Kiki! - Hmm? You're sitting next to each other.
Where are you going with this, Steven? You guys should pretend to be in love! There won't be any time for fighting if your families have to plan a wedding together! Well I guess we could try? Anything to get this war over with.
All right! We'll fight this war with the power of love! No way! We can't do this because I have a girlfriend.
- Where's she at, though? - You said what I was thinking.
Okay, you don't have to pretend to get married.
Just pretend to be in love long enough to get this feud over with.
- I got a bad feeling about this.
- Shut up, Ronaldo! Nothing bad is going to happen, and you'll get to spend time with the cutest girl in Beach City.
[Sputters.]
[Giggles.]
- Ah, Kiki, my darling! - Oh, Ronaldo, my sweet! My dear, sweet Kiki, who I love with all my blog.
- What the - [Giggles.]
Oh, Ronaldo, you're so sweet and quirky in a way I can tolerate.
Kiki, why aren't you in here, working your shift?! Yeah, come on, Ronaldo.
We got customers to take care of.
But, Dad, ever since this war started, I've had to spend countless hours away from my beloved Kiki.
Both: What?! It's true.
The only way for us to be together is if we quit working! Are you telling me that you two are involved in a romantic relationship?! That's right, Steven.
We have been for some time now.
Mm-hmm! You two are only hugging, right? Uh, yes, sir! Just hugs and longing looks! [Chuckling nervously.]
- Well, Kofi, love is a beautiful thing.
- Yes, love is beautiful.
We must end this feud in order for this love to blossom.
Yeah! The restaurant war is officially over! Ronaldo? [Wind whistling.]
I come all this way to return your "Koala Princess" DVDs, only to find you with another girl? Both: Wha-a-a-a-a-t?! Jane, my sweet, this was all just a trick to get my dad to stop selling mozzarella sticks! Save it for your blog Keep Beach City Single! Jane, my ohime sama! Ohh! The deal is off! Fine by me! Peedee, fire up those fryers! Kiki, pick up the phone! [All sigh.]
[Crying.]
Jane! Ugh, what are we gonna do?! Mm Peedee said the last time the war ended because your dad and his dad came together to sign a treaty.
How did that happen? Well, you know where Suitcase Sam's is? It used to be a restaurant called The Everything Buffet.
Oh, yeah! They sold everything! But it wrecked the boardwalk's economy! Not one store could compete.
But just when everyone thought all hope was lost, our dad and Fryman teamed up and ran them out of town.
Hmm.
Another restaurant, eh? I think I have a plan.
Welcome to the grand opening of Steven's.
Right this way.
La, la-la, la, la, la [Romantic music.]
Hmm, nice ambiance.
[Clears throat.]
It's all right.
There are not enough tables! There are just enough tables, Daddy.
La, la-la, la, la, la Hello, gentlemen.
May I take your order? I'm full of sadness! [Crying.]
- I will have the Fantastic Fries.
- Order taken.
I bet they're not as fantastic as ours.
And for you? I will have the Pizza Bagel! I doubt a Pizza Bagel can beat pizza that isn't on a bagel.
[Chuckles.]
Ah, let's see.
Wonderful two of our best dishes.
Our only dishes? Amethyst, order up! Fire one fry and one pizza! [Claps.]
Yes, Chef! [Claps.]
[Music.]
[Twinkle!.]
Pearl: Here's your order, sir.
[Scoffs.]
Pizza on a bagel, indeed! And for you, sir.
Uh, can I get some ketchup? Sorry, no additions or substitutions.
[Chuckles.]
This place is all talk.
You can't have fries without ketchup.
[Munches.]
[Zing!.]
The ketchup is inside the fries?! Heh.
There's cream cheese in this pizza bagel it adds a whole other level of flavor! And with pizza on a bagel, you can eat pizza anytime! - It's amazing! - It's genius! Mm-hmm! Hmm.
Ah, gentlemen, I hope you enjoyed your meal.
Is there something I can help you with? Steven, we didn't want to have to do this, but - Please, shut this place down! - What's this? You want me to close my lovely establishment? Steven, we're begging you! We can't compete with a place like this! - You'll drive us out of business! - There's already a line! I'll close up shop under one condition.
Both: Anything! Stop this foolish war! Cook for yourselves and the good of the boardwalk! No more cooking out of hate and spite! - Let's just do what we do best! - Agreed! [Cheers and applause.]
Good job, Daddy.
Do you hear that, Ronaldo? The war's over! [Crying.]
Glad that's settled.
- Y'all help me clean this place up.
- Sorry.
We on break.
[Claps.]
[Pop!.]
Look at you go I just adore you I wish that I knew What makes you think I'm so special
Mm, actually what else you got? You could order actual fries.
Nah.
Let's really try and shake things up today.
I want to order "off menu.
" [Sighs.]
You always order off menu, Steven.
Let me see what I can find.
I'll be back in a sec.
I really appreciate it! [Birds chirping.]
Steven! Check this out! - Boom! - Mozzarella sticks! - With all the fixin's?! - I can't believe it either! They were way back in the freezer for some reason.
Feels good to fry something else for a change.
Thanks, Peedee.
[Humming.]
[Munches.]
Steven! What is this?! - Um - Bread cheese marinara sauce! The basic elements of a pizza! - Where did it come from? - Mm.
Fryman infringing on my business.
I have been ready for this day! [Muffled.]
"Now serving fries!"?! So it begins anew.
Eh, Kofi? Just like old times, Fryman.
- Kofi! - Fryman! Both: Res-tau-rant wa-a-a-a-a-a-a-r! [Gull cries.]
Oh! Man: Too many carbs.
Peedee? Don't look at me, Steven.
- But - I said, don't look at me! - W-What happened? - I violated the food treaty.
- What do you mean? - Years ago my dad and Kofi signed an agreement to not steal each other's business, but when I fried up those mozzarella sticks, I re-ignited the hot oil of war.
[Sighs.]
Don't blame yourself.
I was the one who wanted to shake things up.
- Oh, yeah.
It's your fault.
- Hey, Steven! As a valued customer, I want to know your thoughts on our new menu item deep-fried pizza.
A-Actually, could I just get some fries? - Sorry, we're all out of fries.
- What?! Even the bits?! We have pizza bits now.
But how can you guys be out of fries? This is the Fry Shop! You're Fryman! - Look at your hair.
- What about my hair? [Groans.]
I can't connect to Fish Stew Pizza's Wi-Fi! Hey, you got no time for Interneting.
You're doing deliveries now.
But I don't even have a car! - You got those wheelie shoes, don't ya? - Yeah [Phone rings, bell jingles.]
- Jenny, you're working the counter? - I know, right? Things have been crazy since the war has been back on! The phones have been ringing off the hook.
I'll get it! Thanks for calling Fish Stew Pizza.
We do fries now.
Anyway, I'm obligated to tell you about our special new menu item French-fried pizza with a French-fried crust and twice-baked French fries on the side.
[Sighs.]
'Cause we do fries now.
- I'd rather just have my usual - Steven! - Oh.
Hey, Kofi.
- Before you place your order, you must sign [grunts.]
these papers and pledge your allegiance to Fish Stew Pizza! Not only that, you'll be issued a brand-new, permanent, - V.
I.
P.
pizza-eater card! - Aah! [Bell jingles.]
Steven! [Breathing heavily.]
Come back! Hey, Steven, y-you forgot your pizza bits! - What? Aah! - Steven, let me reward you for being such a good customer! Aah! What have I done?! Thank you all for coming.
Ronaldo Kiki Jenny and Peedee, I've called you all here tonight because this war between your parents has to stop! Steven, how do you think we feel?! Do you know how many metal concerts I've missed - because of this war? - How many? Mm, like one.
Do you know how much blogging I haven't been able to do?! I don't, but this is all my fault! If only my taste buds weren't so adventurous.
But I promise to find a way to work this out! How? There's no end in sight to all this fighting.
Hmm.
We need to stop this hate with some sort of opposite of hate.
- [Gasps.]
Ronaldo! - Hmm? - Kiki! - Hmm? You're sitting next to each other.
Where are you going with this, Steven? You guys should pretend to be in love! There won't be any time for fighting if your families have to plan a wedding together! Well I guess we could try? Anything to get this war over with.
All right! We'll fight this war with the power of love! No way! We can't do this because I have a girlfriend.
- Where's she at, though? - You said what I was thinking.
Okay, you don't have to pretend to get married.
Just pretend to be in love long enough to get this feud over with.
- I got a bad feeling about this.
- Shut up, Ronaldo! Nothing bad is going to happen, and you'll get to spend time with the cutest girl in Beach City.
[Sputters.]
[Giggles.]
- Ah, Kiki, my darling! - Oh, Ronaldo, my sweet! My dear, sweet Kiki, who I love with all my blog.
- What the - [Giggles.]
Oh, Ronaldo, you're so sweet and quirky in a way I can tolerate.
Kiki, why aren't you in here, working your shift?! Yeah, come on, Ronaldo.
We got customers to take care of.
But, Dad, ever since this war started, I've had to spend countless hours away from my beloved Kiki.
Both: What?! It's true.
The only way for us to be together is if we quit working! Are you telling me that you two are involved in a romantic relationship?! That's right, Steven.
We have been for some time now.
Mm-hmm! You two are only hugging, right? Uh, yes, sir! Just hugs and longing looks! [Chuckling nervously.]
- Well, Kofi, love is a beautiful thing.
- Yes, love is beautiful.
We must end this feud in order for this love to blossom.
Yeah! The restaurant war is officially over! Ronaldo? [Wind whistling.]
I come all this way to return your "Koala Princess" DVDs, only to find you with another girl? Both: Wha-a-a-a-a-t?! Jane, my sweet, this was all just a trick to get my dad to stop selling mozzarella sticks! Save it for your blog Keep Beach City Single! Jane, my ohime sama! Ohh! The deal is off! Fine by me! Peedee, fire up those fryers! Kiki, pick up the phone! [All sigh.]
[Crying.]
Jane! Ugh, what are we gonna do?! Mm Peedee said the last time the war ended because your dad and his dad came together to sign a treaty.
How did that happen? Well, you know where Suitcase Sam's is? It used to be a restaurant called The Everything Buffet.
Oh, yeah! They sold everything! But it wrecked the boardwalk's economy! Not one store could compete.
But just when everyone thought all hope was lost, our dad and Fryman teamed up and ran them out of town.
Hmm.
Another restaurant, eh? I think I have a plan.
Welcome to the grand opening of Steven's.
Right this way.
La, la-la, la, la, la [Romantic music.]
Hmm, nice ambiance.
[Clears throat.]
It's all right.
There are not enough tables! There are just enough tables, Daddy.
La, la-la, la, la, la Hello, gentlemen.
May I take your order? I'm full of sadness! [Crying.]
- I will have the Fantastic Fries.
- Order taken.
I bet they're not as fantastic as ours.
And for you? I will have the Pizza Bagel! I doubt a Pizza Bagel can beat pizza that isn't on a bagel.
[Chuckles.]
Ah, let's see.
Wonderful two of our best dishes.
Our only dishes? Amethyst, order up! Fire one fry and one pizza! [Claps.]
Yes, Chef! [Claps.]
[Music.]
[Twinkle!.]
Pearl: Here's your order, sir.
[Scoffs.]
Pizza on a bagel, indeed! And for you, sir.
Uh, can I get some ketchup? Sorry, no additions or substitutions.
[Chuckles.]
This place is all talk.
You can't have fries without ketchup.
[Munches.]
[Zing!.]
The ketchup is inside the fries?! Heh.
There's cream cheese in this pizza bagel it adds a whole other level of flavor! And with pizza on a bagel, you can eat pizza anytime! - It's amazing! - It's genius! Mm-hmm! Hmm.
Ah, gentlemen, I hope you enjoyed your meal.
Is there something I can help you with? Steven, we didn't want to have to do this, but - Please, shut this place down! - What's this? You want me to close my lovely establishment? Steven, we're begging you! We can't compete with a place like this! - You'll drive us out of business! - There's already a line! I'll close up shop under one condition.
Both: Anything! Stop this foolish war! Cook for yourselves and the good of the boardwalk! No more cooking out of hate and spite! - Let's just do what we do best! - Agreed! [Cheers and applause.]
Good job, Daddy.
Do you hear that, Ronaldo? The war's over! [Crying.]
Glad that's settled.
- Y'all help me clean this place up.
- Sorry.
We on break.
[Claps.]
[Pop!.]
Look at you go I just adore you I wish that I knew What makes you think I'm so special