Stuck in the Middle (2016) s03e12 Episode Script

1 - Yeah, Ethan! - Best zombie movie ever! - Way better than your cop movie.
- And your alien-invasion movie.
- And your Western.
- That should've been outlawed.
Well, I've had enough compliments for one day.
Plus, Harley's costumes really put it over the top.
I just wish I could get the zombie king to see it.
Or queen.
I feel like this movie is for everyone.
I'm talking about Shane Coleman.
He live-streams my favorite horror review show just two towns over.
He's the zombie king.
So send him your movie.
I can't just send him my movie.
Yeah, Tom, you can't just send your movie to the zombie king.
This guy's legit.
A shout-out on his show has gotten people started in the industry.
Shane only watches movies when he gets invited to a premiere.
Then let's have a premiere.
Roll out the red carpet.
We'll say it's red from blood.
I'd love a blood carpet.
But his last two shows for the season are this weekend.
This party would have to happen tomorrow.
If you can make a movie that doesn't stink, we can throw a party by tomorrow.
Totally.
There are eight of us.
Well, seven.
Daphne got invited to stay at a friend's house.
So that family will be living their own horror movie.
Okay, premiere.
Outdoor screen, lots of people, snack bar.
What does a zombie king like to munch on? And don't say brains.
Hey, Ethan, brought your comic back.
What are you guys up to? Awkward.
Do I invite Aidan to the party? He's hung out here before, but we've had a bumpy history.
I mean, I guess we're kind of friends, but are we "party" friends? You know what? I'm just gonna be the bigger person and invite him.
Mostly 'cause I know he's got plans this weekend and won't be able make it.
Hey, we're having a premiere party for Ethan's movie tomorrow.
- You should come.
- Thanks, but can't.
Oh, right.
Right! Ugh, your dad's in town.
Got all kinds of great plans.
Not anymore.
He bailed.
And I can't stay by myself, so now I get to go to Connecticut with my Aunt Bethany.
Road trip! Connecticut! Bethany! Hoping if I keep saying words, one of them will sound fun.
We're going to a knitting convention.
'Cause she's gonna size up the baby-booty pattern so I can have a pair of my own.
Anyway.
Stay with us this weekend.
Mom and Dad never notice one more kid.
Yeah! Can't miss the party.
Wow, thank you.
I'll go tell my aunt.
One problem.
How do we tell the other kids Aidan's staying? Canoe! Churro! Umbrella! Upside-down umbrella! Half a watermelon! Half a watermelon!! - It's a pencil.
- Pencil! I knew it.
Not fans.
I'm not telling them.
Well, I'm not telling them.
I don't suppose you'd tell them.
Eh, worth a shot.
Hey, hey, hey, hey Sometimes it feels like things are outta control Like you're living in a circus Tryin' to figure out your way in the world Where you're at is kinda perfect So turn it up, turn it up Do your thing, don't stop Let the games begin, let's jump right in I wanna get stuck with you In the middle of the party We're just getting started I wanna get stuck with you In the eye of the tornado, rowin' in the same boat I wanna get stuck with you Get stuck in the middle with you I wanna get stuck with you Call it in the air.
Butter or syrup.
Butter! Syrup! Have fun telling them Aidan's staying here.
Oh, like that was the only one that fell on the floor.
Georgie! Pancakes! So interesting development Hey, guys, thanks for letting me stay this weekend.
Ooh, pancakes.
Family meeting.
You know I always try to be welcoming to anyone that comes in our house.
Friends, neighbors, that spider that lived in the kitchen until he met Dad's spider-stomping shoe.
Okay, what I'm saying is Aidan needs to be stomped by the spider shoe.
Okay, first, Dad would never do it, and Aidan has been getting better.
He's downstairs eating our entire breakfast.
I'm sorry, I want to like the guy, but he's a selfish jerk-face.
And she's the nicest in the family.
Imagine how we feel.
Oh, I can.
I've been feeling it for months.
But we have something Aidan doesn't.
Family.
He was really looking forward to this weekend with his dad.
I've got the whole thing planned.
He's coming to see my lacrosse game on Sunday, the last game of the season.
And Coach is doing a big family barbecue afterward, so I finally get to introduce him to the guys.
His dad canceled.
Again.
Well, now I feel bad for calling him a jerk-face.
You're not wrong.
His face can be super jerky.
But there's a reason he acts selfish and thoughtless and rude a where was I going with this? Aidan only looks out for himself because he doesn't have brothers and sisters to show him how to act.
I'm Ethan.
I'm using my lecture voice.
I'm saying something important.
Aidan doesn't have brothers and sisters.
See? Something like that would keep him in line.
Okay, now I have something to say, and no one imitate me.
While Aidan's here, our family can be a good influence.
Which should be fun, since it's something our family's never done before.
Oh, I could show him a thing or two.
I don't mean to toot my own horn, but this gal won the trophy for teamwork without playing a single minute in a game.
Well, Beast and I can teach him about sharing.
We share toys, clothes, gum.
Everything but my glasses.
Beast can't pull off that look.
It's true, just like he can't rock a helmet.
The power of a big family can't help but make you a better person.
Question is it okay to eat a pancake - with a footprint on it? - Yes.
See? We're teaching him already.
- Hey.
- What are you doing here? According to my pre-party flow chart, you should already be on your way to invite - guest of honor.
- Totally.
Right after I practice on you.
I'm hoping you're only holding that guitar because you forgot to put it down.
I-I am now.
"Shane, you like movies.
I'd like to show you one.
" "My mom thinks it's good.
But first, a joke to lighten the mood.
- Knock, knock.
" - Who's there? No, that's not where I was going with that! This is terrible! Why won't he just respond to one of my emails or DMs or paperless invites? Here's what you need to say.
"You, sir, are invited to see the most innovative zombie virus movie ever made! Screening tonight for the first time ever.
It's so good, you'll die.
And then come back to life and see it again.
" Perfect.
That's what you'll say to Shane when you come with me.
I can't.
Hello! Party flow chart? Flow? And there's no party if we don't have Shane.
You heard my pitch.
You made sour-lemon face the whole time.
Come on, you said it yourself the power of a big family? Fine.
Let's go to Shane's.
Leave it! Harley, come on, we've got to go! Be right there! So you're on set-up.
Lewie and Beast are snacks, Mom and Dad will take care of setting up the stage and screen you know what? There's a color-coded flowchart up in our room.
Gee, Harley! This is a lot of work! I don't know how we'll ever get it all done! Don't worry, we're fine, I just wanna set up a scenario where Aidan will want to be helpful.
Georgie! I am very worried! Leaving all this work, with a big party tonight?! I actually am worried, but that might help, too.
Good idea to wear the costume you designed for my movie.
This should really get Shane's attention.
Plus, it made for an interesting bus ride.
I don't know how a zombie virus even spreads.
People move really quick when they see one coming.
I'm live-streaming Shane's show so we can knock on his door the minute it's over.
Let's hope that's soon.
Time's ticking on the party.
And I forgot to tell Georgie to rope off the V.
I.
P.
section, which, to stay on theme, I'm calling the R.
I.
P.
section.
Boy I don't remember these chairs being this heavy.
It's kind of a situation where you're grateful for a helping hand.
You shouldn't be lifting that.
Just push it across the floor with your foot.
Man, you sure got stuck with a terrible job.
We have a lot of really good candy here, Beast.
I can't wait to share it at the party.
Yeah, sharing makes me feel good.
Me too.
Thanks for sharing.
Hey, those are for our guests.
People are coming to your house and getting candy and you're not even allowed to eat it? It's because our parents our brother uh our parents our brother Explain to me why we're giving these to strangers.
I was hoping you would.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you doing? That's our movie screen for tonight.
I'm sorry, just all those bird-poop stains are great for target practice.
We scrubbed for an hour.
What do those birds eat? Any backyard movie I've ever been to, they always had one of those big blow-up screens.
They did? Oh.
Look, I volunteered because I knew no one else would.
That's what you do in big families, you step up.
Sounds more like you're getting stepped on.
Everybody's got a job.
Lewie and Beast are in charge of snacks which is really just filling up bags with candy.
Mom and Dad are putting up a movie screen which is mostly pulling a tarp out of the garage.
And Harley's supervising which she handed off to me.
How did this happen? Look, we promised to give Ethan a special night.
We'll have him buy us even fancier chocolate when he gets famous.
We're playing the long game.
I guess if it makes sense to you.
If it were me, I'd take half the candy for myself.
Who would know? Look, it's kind of a gross-out movie.
Bird-poop screen feels appropriate.
Hey, I get it.
Seven kids.
Busy.
You do what you can.
Which, in our case, is a bird-turd blanket.
Let them do the grunt work.
Thanks, Aidan.
Let's go split these.
Thanks, Aidan.
We need a screen that's not a bird toilet.
Thanks, Aidan.
Now for our online poll of which zombie ate it best.
Grant from Rhode Island says Grandma Betty was no match for Sheriff Johnson He's doing his wrap-up.
Okay, let's get these tablets up and running.
I want to look my worst.
What's that noise? - Is that - That's us.
Forget about a movie screen.
This thing is so big, we could use it to sail to the New World.
I can't believe they only had the floor model left.
I mean, how many backyard movie premieres are happening tonight? You ruined my biggest show of the year! Sorry! Funny story.
Costume has tablet front.
Tablet back.
Mirror technology.
Remote, garage, same frequency not important.
What is important is my brother directed an awesome zombie movie.
We're having an exclusive premiere tonight, and we'd love for you to be the honored guest.
So what do you say? I'm calling the police.
What is this? That's your phone.
We really rattled him, Harley.
The clip of you guys interrupting my show is blowing up.
It's going crazy viral! Even the snobby sci-fi geeks are reposting it! Sounds like you kind of owe us one.
My movie's only an hour.
So what do you say? I'll let you use this costume for your set.
This gore score is off the charts! Should've started with that.
I'll be there.
You won't regret it.
The movie's amazing, and the party will be, too.
We've got a whole team working on it as we speak.
The party starts in an hour.
I don't know what happened, but our family better have been eaten by zombies.
Where's the snack bar? The the red carpet? My little stage? If we're going to solve this, we're gonna have to divide and conquer.
I'll take Georgie.
You take the twins.
How come you got the easy one? Perks of coming with the plan.
You're supposed to be setting up! I thought Aidan was helping you.
No.
He left a while ago.
And I'm done doing grunt work.
If you want my help, I get a cushy, front-of the-house job checking in guests.
What's going on? W-where are the gift bags? I thought you'd be done by now! We are.
Why is there only one piece of candy? Aidan said if we take half, who would know? I hate to say it, but I think someone might know now.
Hey, fancy gift bags usually come with lots of tissue paper.
This is toilet paper! - Who would know? - I would! The guests would! Shane would! I'll fill the bags myself.
Where's the rest of the candy? That is the rest.
You ate eight pounds of candy?! What do you think we are, idiots? Seven pounds are buried in the yard.
Georgie's acting like an entirely different person.
The twins went rogue on the gift bags.
Something weird is going on.
Instead of stepping up big family style, they're acting like a bunch of jerk-faces.
Aidan! He's run through this entire house like an infection! We have to warn Mom and Dad.
Where are Mom and Dad? All right, took a little longer time than we expected, but we finally wrestled this baby into submission.
Let's hit the road, we still have to set up Ethan's stage.
Because apparently you can't give a speech about your humble beginnings from the grass.
Uh Please tell me you're looking for a mint.
Yes.
I'm looking for the mint that starts the car.
They must be here somewhere.
Then why aren't they, Tom?! Why aren't they?! Uh Do you want to hear something funny? Okay, new plan.
We'll do it ourselves.
I'll figure out some food and do the gift bags.
- You can set up the screen.
- There's not enough time.
Face it, the two of us can't do everything.
You're right.
I didn't think one Aidan was more powerful than six Diazes.
Pulling off a party in one day? I guess I was expecting too much.
I mean, I know it's a long shot, me ever becoming a big-time director, but I always thought if I made it, it'd be because of my family.
Not Here we go, I'm gonna be a big star Turn it on like a rock-and-roll guitar Light up, let it burn like a big star Here we go, and it goes a little something like this Oh-oh, and it goes a little something like this And it goes a little something like this Getting crowded, Georgie.
make sure they're on the list.
I can't believe we actually pulled this off.
Power of a big family.
Remember this when you're rich and famous and need an entourage.
Ethan, look who's here! Shane Coleman.
Should be on the list.
Go! What are you waiting for! Dude, so glad you could make it.
I have anyone sitting on either side of you in case you like to spread out, and if you want to put your feet up, I can move people.
Look, I'm just here to fulfill my obligation.
But I might as well do it with my feet up.
- Sir? - Ooh, gift bag.
Oh, glad I'm not late.
I think it looks pretty good.
We really pulled this off, didn't we? We? You are not a part of our "we.
" While you were off doing whatever, the we was here cleaning, setting up the party, and working as a team like we used to before you came in.
This is just like old times.
You yelling at me, me not really understanding why.
Of course this is my fault.
I was hoping by bringing you here to be in our family, you'd learn a little something about sharing and working as a team, but instead, you taught them to be as selfish as you.
Selfish? Is it selfish for me to be working on the entertainment for this party? Yes! Because Ethan's film is the entertainment! That's the whole point of this thing! It's supposed to be about Ethan, not whatever you think is fun! - Well, I thought - It's always all about you.
- I got - Do you hear yourself? - I just wanted - There you go again, "I, I, I"! I got a surprise for the party.
A video game truck? Who's gonna want to watch Ethan's movie when there's a truck full of awesome parked next to it?! Everyone was working so hard to make it a great party, I thought I'd do the same.
I just came up with a terrible idea.
I'm new at this! Don't worry, I'll send them away.
I've gotta get this going.
Lewie, quick, start the speech! Introducing our film's director, the person who will one day let his brothers live in his pool house, Mr.
Ethan Diaz! Back! Back! Back! Back! I wanna thank you all so much for coming This is the last time I accept an invite from people who show up in my driveway.
Sorry about this weekend.
And thanks for letting me after last night.
I'm just gonna I can't believe after all that work, the screening never even happened.
He made me mad at a game truck.
Who does that? Look, he even left his lacrosse mouth guard on our table.
Aw, he'll need that for his game today.
Hey, guys.
Oh, man, you were so disgusted with last night, you didn't even want to keep the costume.
I'd love to, but I brought it back so you can use it for the sequel.
I haven't written one yet.
You better get started.
You're gonna have a lot of new fans after I give you a shout-out on my big finale show.
How? We we never even screened the movie.
You know that kid you were yelling at last night? He chased me down and wouldn't let me leave till I took the DVD from him.
I get why you were yelling at him.
- He's kind of pushy.
- Pushy, yes.
I agree.
Slow down, you showed up in my driveway in a zombie suit.
But I'm glad he was pushy.
If not, I never would've discovered a great up-and-coming director.
And it's everything You wanted to be It's a new day We know your final lacrosse game is today.
- Thought you might need a ride.
- And a cheering section.
Aidan! Aidan! We're good at loud.
Aidan! Aidan! Aidan! I guess Ethan making a great movie wasn't the biggest surprise of the weekend.
The real twist? Aidan turned out to be the good guy.
Lewie, please, make room for Aidan.
So, yeah, our premiere fell apart, but we still got our movie-perfect ending.
Come on, Aidan, get in!