The Pretender s03e12 Episode Script
Unsinkable
[Thunderclap.]
Strange how Jarod left nothing in Hawaii as if he wanted us out of the way.
Broots, find out why we haven't landed.
- Please, don't make me get up.
- Since when do you hate to fly? I don't hate to fly.
I hate to barf.
It's important.
Jarod's trail's cold.
What could you possibly be late for? Unless your appointment is not business but pleasure.
Are you this chatty on commercial flights? I'm a shrink.
What do you want? So, what's his name? You did call him from Jarod's cabana, didn't you? There was a certain glow about you.
I don't glow, Sydney.
His name is Thomas, and he's doing some work on my house.
- He's a fix-it man, Syd.
- What exactly is broken? [Cabin Door Opens, Closes.]
The pilot says we're gonna circle for an hour, maybe two.
Thank you, Jarod.
And you just know he's down there basking in the sun and surf.
- [Groans.]
- Wake up, wiseass.
I wouldn't want you to sleep through this.
You're going in for a dip.
[Screaming.]
No! [Man Narrating.]
There are Pretenders among us.
[Jarod.]
I was taken from my family.
Thirty-six hours and he's already demonstrating more talent than any of our others.
How many people died because of what I thought up? Since I broke out, I've spent every moment searching for my past.
[Miss Parker.]
He's a Pretender- A genius who can become anyone that he wants to be.
- The Centre wants him alive.
- Preferably.
[Miss Parker.]
He defends the weak and abused.
Life's a gift.
- You a doctor? - I am today.
[Jarod Narrating.]
Ever since I was a boy people have been telling me that I'm special, that I have a gift- that I could be anything I want to be.
I never guessed I would end up here- in the Atlantic Ocean as a human anchor.
But maybe I should start at the beginning.
[Man On Microphone.]
Oh, you're a lawyer, eh? - [People Shouting, Laughing.]
- [Continues, Indistinct.]
I says, "All lawyers are slime.
" Guy next to me screams, "You take that back!" I said, "Why, are you a lawyer?" He says, "No, I'm a slime.
" [Narrating.]
The Comedy Slot- where thejokes are as cheesy as the patrons.
Well, no one was laughing, especially me.
I'd been tracking these classified ads for weeks but I didn't know who was placing them.
It was too obvious for a Centre trick, but I had to be careful.
That's why I left no leads in Hawaii.
That's also why I should have turned and run when I spotted the source of the ads.
Argyle.
He saved my life once, then tried to sell me to the Centre.
[Comedian Continues, Indistinct.]
[Spits.]
Hey! You call this a martini? - You call this a martini? I wouldn't feed this to my dog.
- [Dog Yips.]
And I said no olives, miss.
He's pimiento intolerant.
But even ifhe wasn't, I wouldn't let this touch his little doggy lips.
Know what I'm sayin'? There's a good boy.
- She's a bad girl.
She's a bad girl.
- [Barking.]
- [Clears Throat.]
- J-rod! What's tricks, man? How you doin'? I knew you'd get my message.
- Half the eastern seaboard got your message.
- Well, it worked, right? - [Growling.]
- Whoa.
Dog, you rememberJarod.
You're in like Flynn, see? Look at us three.
Reunited, and we're feelin' good.
Hey, you still carryin' all them crazy I.
D.
's? - Whose skin you wearin' this week? - A sucker's.
- Now, what do you want? - What do I want? What do I want? I want another couple of martinis.
Hold the olives.
Okay.
What I want? What I want is for everybody to get along.
- I want everybody to be happy.
- Starting with yourself.
Of course, but how much happier can this snazzy boy be? Check me out.
I'm a fat cat down here.
Me llaman El Gato Gordo, dude.
- Who did you have to sell to get it? - That's low.
That is very low.
Check this out.
Voom! I forgive you.
- How did you break your finger? - Um, that? Job hazard.
That would require a job.
Now, what do you want? Okay.
Here's the story, all right? There's this guy, Faddis, down here.
Mr.
Sonny Faddis.
He's the entrepreneurial type.
He's actually a friend of mine.
Friends break bread, not fingers.
I know what you're saying about the finger, but you're wrong.
He's got people who do that for him, okay? He provided me, recently, with a little financial sustenance.
- How much do you owe him? - $5,000.
What? You went through all of this trouble to get me down here for $5,000? Listen to me, Jarod.
This Mr.
Sonny Faddis is bad news, okay? He made me choose which finger his goons would break.
I told him this one, 'cause you gotta have a free picker, you know? Thing is, Jarod, if I don't pay this guy back Argyle is ancient history, man- phfft! Besides, what's five large between friends? You tried to sell me for 10.
I know.
I know what I did.
I know what I know.
I know what I did was wrong.
I also happen to know that you, my friend and I are kindred spirits.
Don't give me that look.
We both know what it's like to be alone in this world.
And we also both know what it's like to have nobody to turn to.
You're all I got, Jarod.
[Narrating.]
I was suddenly face-to-face with my toughest pretend- becoming Argyle's friend.
[Whimpering.]
You da man, Jarod.
- I didn't need forged papers or a fake I.
D.
- You da man, Jarod.
Set us up with another couple of drinks.
- Just a lot of patience and no common sense.
- [Groans.]
[Sydney.]
You seem anxious.
Thomas must be doing important fix-it work.
I met him a few weeks ago.
We spent a couple of hours together one night.
Just talking.
- He used to work on Wall Street, but he checked out.
- Hmm.
[Sighs.]
He's renovating this absolutely ancient house near mine.
He calls it a work in progress.
I got to thinking I needed some work done on my house, so- [Sighing.]
Well, I wish I could tell you having him over was just about the water damage but it was more.
[Exhales.]
Well, it's definitely water damage.
Yeah.
[Chuckles.]
- This place is sweet though.
It's got a lot of character.
- Lot of years.
Yeah, but structure's great and masonry out front.
- Mm-hmm.
- Own or rent? It was a gift- given to me by my father when I graduated college.
It was, uh, sort of a hideaway for my parents.
[Door Closes.]
That's gotta be Mom.
- I look just like her.
I know.
- [Chuckles.]
- She passed away when I was a little girl.
- Oh.
Must have been tough.
Yeah.
Hey, you know what would be perfect right here? A lighter color.
Then we'll lose the stained glass and the bay windows and get some light reflection comin' in- brighten up the whole house.
Let's cover it with drywall and a fresh coat of paint.
- Same color.
- Mm.
- What? - [Laughing.]
[Clears Throat.]
You're a-You're a doer.
- A doer? - Yeah.
I, uh- I worked construction to pay for college.
Big Leave It To Beaver houses.
- We had two kinds of housewives.
- [Sighs.]
Fiddlers- always changed their tune.
Made you replace cabinets after they were already in.
And the doers.
Well, the doers, uh- They always made the call.
Once.
I always get what I want.
[Chuckling.]
[Jarod Narrating.]
I've heard that love makes the world go round.
Or is it money? It is in Argyle's world.
I'd gotten his $5,000 courtesy of Centre funds.
But before we went to pay off his loan shark, Mr.
Faddis Argyle insisted on making a stop.
But as is so Argyle, around every corner is another surprise.
Although his Pretender skills needed honing, Argyle was right.
In a way, we were kindred spirits.
- There was just something about Argyle l- - [Dog Barking.]
[Clicks Tongue.]
Understood.
Dog.
I gotta make sure he diddles on the balcony.
Make yourself at home.
Oh, no! For the love of Pete.
I told you the balcony.
[Dog Barks.]
- [Crowd Cheering.]
- [Triumphal.]
[TVContinues.]
Freeze, soldier! I've tangled with S.
S.
Twice your size.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- If you think you can just waltz in here and swipe my prize possessions for a vial of mind-altering crap - you got another think comin'.
- Argyle! - Make your peace, son.
- Yo, yo, yo! Yo, hold up.
Take it easy.
This is my friend.
This man is my friend.
Oh.
Wait a minute.
What the heck are you doin' here? What, I can't come here? All of a sudden, I can't come here? - My buildings are done.
- Oh, yeah? Well, your manners ain't.
Name's Benny, retired field medic.
W.
W.
II.
My name is Jarod.
Firm handshake- sign of character.
In some cultures, it means you're a skilled horseman.
I was a rodeo clown once.
Which would explain why you work with my son.
Um, yo, Pop.
That's, uh- Jarod, like myself has broadened his horizons in the ever-expanding and creatively exciting world of computer-aided drafting.
- Actually, I was just- - [Bell Dings, Tune.]
- No.
Medicine time, Pop.
- The sacred timepiece has spoken.
- [Ends.]
Cherish your health, Jarod.
It's the only thing you got that's truly yours besides earwax and nose hair.
"Demoxidyle.
" "Recrotin.
" Do you have an enzyme imbalance? Brain condition.
Also gave me this limp.
- It could be enzyme-related, but it doesn't- - Could be.
Been a pleasure, "Jerry.
" Pope's comin' back on.
Uh, isn't he on tape? You don't pause the pontiff.
You borrowed the $5,000 for him, didn't you? Well, V.
F.
W.
Gives him insurance but it don't cover what he really needs.
We lost Ma about a year ago.
He's been goin'downhill ever since.
They saw the pope together back in '95.
Giants Stadium.
That was right after Ma got sick.
Doc said she had, like, a month to live.
My old man swears the pope gave her those three extra years.
He just wants to go to Vatican City, you know? See the guy, hear the mass, maybe thank him.
- I don't know.
- $5,000 covers a trip to Italy.
Yeah.
I know.
[Clears Throat.]
- But, um- - But what? Well, uh, there's this guy who works for Faddis.
He, uh- He handles my high-yield investments.
So you borrowed $5,000 from a loan shark and then you lost it to a bookie.
Jarod, I just want my dad's trip to be top drawer, you know? First pew all the way.
Is that too much to ask? [Narrating.]
Argyle's heart was in the right place [Narrating.]
Argyle's heart was in the right place but, as usual, his brain wasn't.
I insisted we go straight to pay off Faddis.
[Chortling.]
I can't wait to see Faddis's face when I slide him the green.
He insisted on going it alone.
Be careful.
A little quick homework told me that Argyle's loan shark was a man-eater a short-tempered, violent killer- Sonny Faddis.
Along with Sonny's Clam Shack, he owned a big piece of the waterfront and supplied seafood to most of Atlantic City.
[Barking.]
It didn't take long to see that Argyle was in over his head.
- And his back against the wall.
- [Bone Cracks.]
- [Screaming.]
- [Tires Squealing.]
- Get in! Get in! - [Dog Barks.]
You mamalukes! - Ow, ow, ow, ow! - Who were they? Those guys? Faddis's boys.
- The Africans.
- Africans? - South Africans.
- Look, Argyle they would never have broken another finger if you were paid up.
Well? Okay, okay.
I owe 'em a favor.
Once I'm done with that, I'm free and clear.
[Sighs.]
Don't say it.
Don't even think it.
The guy'll fly solo on this one, man.
No worries, man.
Thanks for everything you done.
And that five grand- back in your bank account before you even know it.
Just give me a little time.
That's all.
A little time.
You know, he may be man's best friend but you, J-dog, you are my best friend.
[Whimpers.]
[Exhales.]
Argyle, here.
Two first-class tickets to Vatican City.
Make sure your dad sees the pope.
I can't, man.
It's gotta be from me.
You've already done enough.
Sayonara, man.
Adios.
Take care of yourself.
- [Engine Starts.]
- [No Audible Dialogue.]
[Narrating.]
Second thoughts can be dangerous.
But it quickly dawned on me that leaving Argyle and Dog would be like- Well, it would be like leaving two wounded animals in a trap.
Itjust wasn't in me.
You guys coming or what? - You were praying for your father, weren't you? - Yeah.
He gave it to me.
It's laminated.
He and Mom got it when they saw him in '95.
I was prayin' that, you know, he'd get to see the popester before it was too late.
Too late? Well, yeah, Jarod.
He's-He's dyin'.
Argyle's situation put into focus for me something I think I've known for a long time- that until I find my family helping people like Benny and Argyle is the next best thing.
[Jarod Narrating.]
On my end, things were going pretty smoothly.
But how was I to know that the middle part of this story would get so messy? Faddis had a simplejob for Argyle- pick up a bag of skimmed casino money from a Dumpster.
- But something about this was nagging me.
- [Dog Yips.]
Why would Faddis trust Argyle to pick up his money? After all, Argyle's a guy who named his dog well, Dog.
No worries.
Just like Argyle said.
For a second, I believed him.
[Groans.]
- A split second.
- Uh! That hurt.
Turns out the bag-and the money inside- didn't belong to Faddis.
It belonged to this guy who called himself the Cuban and called me something else.
[Irish Accent.]
LittleJoe from Chicago.
What makes you think you can come to my town kill two of my couriers and steal my money? This cash belongs to the Cuban.
- The Cuban? - Cuban? - You never heard of the Cuban? - Not one that sounds like you.
I'm not a Cuban.
I'm the Cuban.
Remember those second thoughts? And this is my little friend.
[Barking, Growling.]
[Argyle.]
Oh, yeah! Yeah! - Whoa.
- [Barking.]
- [Loud Grunt.]
You're a good boy.
You're a good boy.
You're a good boy.
- Get outta here! - Yeah.
- [Argyle.]
Aw, shoot! The money! - Forget the money.
- Argyle! - Oh, geez! - [Gunshots.]
- [Grunts.]
Drive! Drive! Drive! [Thunder Continues.]
He's still out.
God bless Dramamine.
Tell me, Parker.
This Thomas- Does he know where you work? [Thomas.]
This really hits the spot.
Mmm.
Thanks for the eats.
It's comin' out of your paycheck.
[Laughing.]
Shrimp.
- I got you hooked, didn't I? - I've always been partial to Mu Shu.
You mean that's all you ever order.
Someone once told me stability breeds success.
That's because they never had sweet-and-pungent shrimp.
Oh.
Uh-oh.
Last piece.
- [Clicks Tongue.]
- [Laughing.]
Are you always this demanding at work? I'm a doer, remember? Ah, that's right.
Corporate risk assessment.
Sounds like a fancy name for insurance.
Fancy name for stress.
I, um, mm- I solve problems for my company.
I was gonna tell you- [Clears Throat.]
I, uh- I, uh went up on the roof to check for the leak.
You know, water damage.
And, uh- Well, there may be another room back there.
Let's just cover it up like-like we talked about.
Look, my company makes me carry that.
[Murmurs.]
Hey, work is work.
Anyway, I should be done by Saturday if you don't slow me down with more food.
It's a part of me I wish he hadn't seen.
The gun is something you carry, Parker.
It's not who you are.
- [Jarod.]
Are you all right? - Oh, J-man, I'm cold.
- I'm so cold.
- What are you talking about? This is just a flesh wound.
The bullet barely nicked you.
- [Whimpers.]
- Yeah? I know what you're gonna say, but how was I supposed to know that an Irish Cuban was gonna show up and spout wiggy.
He called you LittleJoe.
What's that all about? He was obviously expecting this LittleJoe.
Yeah, but too bad for him we're the ones bringing home the green.
Goodyear blimp says Argyle's a pimp.
Oh, no, J-man.
Oh, no, J-man.
[Narrating.]
I could see it in Argyle's eyes.
Before today, I would've called it greed.
- Oh, no.
- But this was fear.
No money in the bag meant no trip to Italy and no dying wish for the one thing that really matters to Argyle- Pop.
Step back, son.
Thanks to me, no man in the 101 st ever lost a limb.
Except Bernie Sankowitz- He lost his big toe, but that's barely an appendage.
Lamina-pope let me down.
Hey, what's this doin' in here? - That's not my key.
- That's an awful lot of sedative.
[Barking.]
Hey, Pop, how about we skip the needle? - Take it like a man, soldier.
- [Gasps.]
- [Screaming.]
- [Whimpering.]
[Scream Echoing.]
[Narrating.]
I wasn't having any luck with the key but I did track down the Cuban- A.
K.
A.
Denis O'Quinn.
Turns out he was the second-biggest loan shark in Atlantic City second only to the clam king, Sonny Faddis.
But what was the Cuban doing at the Dumpster? Stealing from Faddis? No.
That didn't make any sense.
None of this does.
It felt like Faddis had set Argyle up.
But for what? The key had definitely been planted on him.
- And probably by the Africans.
- Orlani.
Faddis's minions must have planted it on Argyle when they broke his finger.
Yeah.
He's out colder than spit on ice.
- You were right- too much knockout juice.
- He'll be fine.
Not if he keeps up like this.
A son should never stop listening to his father.
He should know to stay away from the wrong people.
My Adella would have made sure of that.
- She had a beautiful smile.
- Oh, yeah, didn't she? And such a way with that kid.
- He was an only chid.
- Yep.
After he was born, Dr.
Canepa told Adella she had to close down the baby foundry.
[Chuckles.]
My buttercup always found the silver lining.
- She said Argyle broke the mold.
- Many molds.
If she was here, he wouldn't be sneaking around with a bunch of criminals pretending to be an architect.
You knew about that.
That kid wouldn't know a straightedge if it bit him on the tokus.
[Chuckles.]
I know he's not perfect, Jarod, but he's got a kind soul.
He's got her soul.
You underestimate fathers.
I may have fought in the big one but she was the real hero.
When I lost her it was like bein' at the front and losin' contact with H.
Q.
I just didn't know what was what anymore.
And I can't reach him.
God knows I'd love to find a way.
Orlani? I couldn't find a bank or a key maker with that name.
I got a buddy in the V.
F.
W.
He's a locksmith.
I'll have him take a gander.
- Where you goin'? - Trolling.
For shark.
[Narrating.]
Loan shark, that is.
Something told me that I was caught in the middle of a turfwar.
So I put on my best wiseguy duds and paid a visit to the clam king.
[Jarod.]
Mr.
Faddis, Call me the pope.
The pope, huh? Well, I don't serve loaves and fishes here.
- Andres, get me a fresh plate after I deal with this clown.
- [Man.]
It needs more garlic.
[Woman Chattering.]
So, uh, what can I do for you, Mr.
Pope? Why would you loan $5,000 - to a guy like Argyle? - Oh, you know that little weasel? If he's such a weasel, why did you ask him to make a pickup for you? - Who said I did? - He did.
Now you listen to me.
I don't care what you call yourself.
I'm gonna spell it out for you like you were five.
Argyle still owes me a big favor.
You're gonna tell me where that little insect is or you're gonna go for a long walk off a short pier.
Cliché, I know.
But I happen to own the pier.
I'll deliver you Argyle for a price.
- Ten.
- Come on.
You got more clams than that.
Twenty.
- All right.
- Al! Where are my cigars? - Sorry, Mr.
Faddis.
I just got back from Orlani.
- Thank you.
- Orlani.
- I eat there every Friday.
I keep a humidor in the back.
You like that place? What's not to like? - You oughta try the osso buco.
It's phenomenal.
- I don't care much for veal.
It reminds me of my childhood.
[Narrating.]
My meeting with Faddis answered one question.
Orlani was a restaurant, another restaurant.
I had a feeling that the key- no pun- to this mystery was locked inside a humidor there.
All I had to do was get that key back from Benny but he had a plan ofhis own.
Benny knew about Orlani all along.
And to make matters worse, the Screaming Eagle decided to take matters into his own hands drop behind enemy lines and strike a blow for his son.
I wish I could say that the war was about to end, but it was just beginning.
War is hell, especially when a slippery lock pick is suddenly the enemy.
[Muffled Yell.]
Welcome to my Waterloo.
I'm warning you! I've tangled with S.
S.
Twice your size! [Jarod Narrating.]
Benny took matters into his own hands all right.
- And the Africans were about to take a finger.
- Oh, no.
- Geez.
- I wouldn't do that.
I was unarmed, but Sydney always taught me that my brain is my most powerful weapon.
- [Grunts.]
- Benny, don't! Hey.
Let's get outta here.
Old Rommel ain't got nothin' on you.
[Chuckles.]
[Miss Parker.]
The flight from hell.
The pilot says we'll be circling for another half an hour.
Think you'll make it in time to see Thomas? It probably doesn't matter, not after the last time.
- Thomas? - In here.
I was right.
There is a room behind this wall.
And Iook what I found.
It was a studio or something.
The skylights back there are great.
As soon as I lose this wall, it'll really brighten up in here.
Leave-Leave it up.
- Are you kidding me? - Leave it up.
I have to catch a flight to Hawaii in an hour.
Just- Cover it.
You knew about the room.
I saw your mother's name on some stationery.
Catherine Parker.
It was her studio.
- You knew it was there all along.
- Yes, I did.
I'm the one who put the wall up, so just leave it up.
Parker, why didn't you say something? What am I supposed to say? [Exhales.]
You want me to tell you that that was her favorite room and that's where she would read to me and tell me stories and braid my hair? Is that what I'm supposed to do- just bare my soul to a stranger? Oh.
So, I'm a stranger.
I figured at least, uh, acquaintance.
[Hushed.]
Well, you figured wrong.
- That what the gun's for, hmm? - [Exhales.]
To keep strangers away? I'm guessing your life's filled with them- starting with her.
Put the wall back up while I'm gone.
Sure thing.
I'll be back Saturday to give you the check.
[Exhales.]
[Exhales.]
I let him go.
He stood there waiting for me to stop him and I let him go.
Your fix-it man is right, Parker.
Why is everyone a stranger? Aw, nuts! We're up to our necks in it now, Pop.
Look, Faddis, that fungus, has been in the rackets since before you two were born.
Understand something, Benny.
Faddis is a killer, and he won't stop until he finds both of you.
And who's a fungus now, Pop? You lied toJarod about the key.
You want him to fight your battles for you? Is that it? - Whoa, whoa, whoa! Nobody fights my battles for me.
- Oh, yeah? Yeah, and not everybody was so lucky they got to go to World War II.
- I was serving my country- - Okay.
Okay.
Enough! Look, your father only lied about the key because he was trying to get Faddis off your back.
- You were? - [Murmurs.]
Your son borrowed the money from Faddis so he could surprise you with a trip to the Vatican.
You mean see the big guy? Yeah, Pop.
If you just stick with me and Jarod, you know? We wanna get you there so you can see the guy, you know? Be-Before you die and all.
Isn't there something you wanna tell Argyle? [Clicks Tongue, Murmurs.]
- Benny.
- Hmm? You don't have a brain condition, do you? And this medication- [Crunching.]
Mmm.
Sugar pills.
You mean, y-you're not dyin', Pop? I've got a great idea here.
Why don't we try a little fact instead of fiction, huh? [Narrating.]
It was the first time both of them had shut up since I'd gotten there, and I knew where the silence came from.
There was a time when it would have been filled with another voice.
She's gone.
She can't be replaced.
That's not an option with mothers.
But, you two, you don't have to lose each other.
Hmm.
It was the kind of moment I left the Centre for.
Of course, helping Argyle's father meant nothing if Argyle didn't live through the week.
That's where the cigar box came in.
[Whimpers.]
Argyle thought he had everything figured out.
Hey, hey.
Yo, I got this thing nailed, J-man.
See, I'm thinkin' this guy's the Cuban, right? So he's gotta have family on the island under the yoke of the evil dictator Fidel Castro and whatnot.
But, of course, Argyle was way off.
Faddis had killed two of the Cuban's couriers and stolen his money and he needed someone to blame it on-Argyle.
The contents of the cigar box fingered Argyle as a criminal nicknamed- LittleJoe from Chicago.
You see, the Cuban was supposed to find Argyle at the Dumpster and kill him.
He'd find the key, the cigar box and have his culprit.
- And Faddis would get away with murder - [Rattling On, Indistinct.]
- and a lot of the Cuban's money.
first flight straight to Havana.
And bam, bam, bam! They are livin' high off the hog like capitalist pigs in Atlantic City.
Hmm? Hmm? Am I good? You nailed it, Argyle.
Just one question- Where were the Cuban's couriers? You're gonna go for a long walk off a short pier.
Cliché, I know, but I happen to own the pier.
Faddis had covered the Cuban's couriers in chains and tossed them.
It was a cliché- the worst kind.
I was planning a similar fate for Faddis.
It kind ofbecame my M.
O.
Since I escaped the Centre- payback against the people who think they can step on the little guy.
In this case, one of the littlest guys on the planet.
What are you doing with my case? Oh.
No, this ain't what it looks like.
- This ain't what it looks like.
- What are you doin' with this? I wasn't stealin'anything.
I was borrowing that to make this.
Lamina-pope gave me the idea.
This way, she'll always be protected from the elements and always close.
Nicest thing anybody ever did for me.
My pretend started out pretending to be Argyle's friend.
I wasn't pretending anymore.
I told Argyle to meet me at the pier at 8.
00.
But unfortunately, he was followed there by the Africans.
Coast is clear, big guy.
We're good to go.
But Faddis's goon had other ideas.
Make that goons, plural.
- [Grunts.]
- Oh! Aw, no! Aw, no! Aw! No! Aw! No! Unlike his brain, Argyle's feet were working just fine.
I'm sorry, J-man! As for the goons, well, I think you know what they had in mind for me.
[Sydney.]
Good luck, Parker, and don't worry.
Things with Thomas will work out for the best.
- Miss Parker- - Not now, Broots.
I'm in a hurry.
Oh, for what it's worth, I say go for it.
You were listening.
Well, I heard parts.
Oh, what, is everybody a spy? [Chuckles.]
Who do we work for? I'm just saying that if I felt that way about somebody I'd tell 'em.
It's like this plane ride we just took.
At any second, we could've been a statistic.
We shouldn't ever pass up an opportunity.
Thanks for the tip.
[Jarod Narrating.]
Which brings us to the end.
And with any luck, not my own.
Wake up, wiseass.
I wouldn't want you to sleep through this.
You're going in for a dip.
[Screaming.]
No! Faddis had sunk another victim but that's exactly how I'd planned it- - from the Africans following Argyle - [Beeping.]
To the camera we had set up to capture the whole thing.
Losing the lock pick, however, wasn't part of the plan.
Thank goodness for my four-legged backup.
Wait up.
Wait up.
Wait for me.
Where'd you go? Give me that.
- What are you lookin' at? - [Whimpers.]
Faddis had invited the Cuban to celebrate my long walk off a short pier.
They were heading to Orlani for some osso buco.
But like I said, I don't go for veal.
Everybody freeze.
Nobody makes a move.
The Cuban wasn't too happy when I told him what Faddis had done.
Neither were the police.
I told them where they could find Faddis, the Cuban's dead couriers and our videotape.
Nobody messes with the 'Gyle and his sidekick, J-rod! - [Dog Barks.]
- Didn't anybody ever tell you crime don't pay? We're a pretty good team, you and me.
- Thomas? - [Keys Clatter.]
You always this punctual? The storm.
[Sighs.]
We had to circle and- I know you didn't ask for a door.
If you want, I can put the wall back up.
So, what's the damage? Same price.
Nothing extra.
It's locked now, but if you want to open it you got the option.
Tommy.
I shouldn't have lied.
It's just- I was very young when my mother died.
And after it happened, I just- My- l- I just couldn't bring myself to go into that room.
[Sighs.]
Mom and I used to- used to talk all night in there.
And moonlight made it so special.
She had a very painful life and that room was her sanctuary.
No, Parker.
You were.
But you can't remember that.
When you closed off that room, you closed off a part of your soul- the part that came from her.
Get it back.
I can't do it alone.
Come on.
It'll be okay.
[Key Turns In Lock.]
[Woman Vocalizing, Ethereal.]
[Chattering.]
Your Holiness, this is truly a great honor.
I only wish my Adella was here.
But I guess she's watching from up above.
Huh? Nobody knows that better than you, hey, big guy? You know, he's so, like, human.
- I know.
He ain't no lamina-pope.
- It's amazing.
[Speaking Italian.]
Argyle will never forget this, baby.
Your Highness, talk to me about the gift shop.
What's up with those people down there? They don't have any manners? They work for you? Think you could kick us in a discount? You ever think about getting those prayer cards laminated? Hmm? Hmm? What you think?
Strange how Jarod left nothing in Hawaii as if he wanted us out of the way.
Broots, find out why we haven't landed.
- Please, don't make me get up.
- Since when do you hate to fly? I don't hate to fly.
I hate to barf.
It's important.
Jarod's trail's cold.
What could you possibly be late for? Unless your appointment is not business but pleasure.
Are you this chatty on commercial flights? I'm a shrink.
What do you want? So, what's his name? You did call him from Jarod's cabana, didn't you? There was a certain glow about you.
I don't glow, Sydney.
His name is Thomas, and he's doing some work on my house.
- He's a fix-it man, Syd.
- What exactly is broken? [Cabin Door Opens, Closes.]
The pilot says we're gonna circle for an hour, maybe two.
Thank you, Jarod.
And you just know he's down there basking in the sun and surf.
- [Groans.]
- Wake up, wiseass.
I wouldn't want you to sleep through this.
You're going in for a dip.
[Screaming.]
No! [Man Narrating.]
There are Pretenders among us.
[Jarod.]
I was taken from my family.
Thirty-six hours and he's already demonstrating more talent than any of our others.
How many people died because of what I thought up? Since I broke out, I've spent every moment searching for my past.
[Miss Parker.]
He's a Pretender- A genius who can become anyone that he wants to be.
- The Centre wants him alive.
- Preferably.
[Miss Parker.]
He defends the weak and abused.
Life's a gift.
- You a doctor? - I am today.
[Jarod Narrating.]
Ever since I was a boy people have been telling me that I'm special, that I have a gift- that I could be anything I want to be.
I never guessed I would end up here- in the Atlantic Ocean as a human anchor.
But maybe I should start at the beginning.
[Man On Microphone.]
Oh, you're a lawyer, eh? - [People Shouting, Laughing.]
- [Continues, Indistinct.]
I says, "All lawyers are slime.
" Guy next to me screams, "You take that back!" I said, "Why, are you a lawyer?" He says, "No, I'm a slime.
" [Narrating.]
The Comedy Slot- where thejokes are as cheesy as the patrons.
Well, no one was laughing, especially me.
I'd been tracking these classified ads for weeks but I didn't know who was placing them.
It was too obvious for a Centre trick, but I had to be careful.
That's why I left no leads in Hawaii.
That's also why I should have turned and run when I spotted the source of the ads.
Argyle.
He saved my life once, then tried to sell me to the Centre.
[Comedian Continues, Indistinct.]
[Spits.]
Hey! You call this a martini? - You call this a martini? I wouldn't feed this to my dog.
- [Dog Yips.]
And I said no olives, miss.
He's pimiento intolerant.
But even ifhe wasn't, I wouldn't let this touch his little doggy lips.
Know what I'm sayin'? There's a good boy.
- She's a bad girl.
She's a bad girl.
- [Barking.]
- [Clears Throat.]
- J-rod! What's tricks, man? How you doin'? I knew you'd get my message.
- Half the eastern seaboard got your message.
- Well, it worked, right? - [Growling.]
- Whoa.
Dog, you rememberJarod.
You're in like Flynn, see? Look at us three.
Reunited, and we're feelin' good.
Hey, you still carryin' all them crazy I.
D.
's? - Whose skin you wearin' this week? - A sucker's.
- Now, what do you want? - What do I want? What do I want? I want another couple of martinis.
Hold the olives.
Okay.
What I want? What I want is for everybody to get along.
- I want everybody to be happy.
- Starting with yourself.
Of course, but how much happier can this snazzy boy be? Check me out.
I'm a fat cat down here.
Me llaman El Gato Gordo, dude.
- Who did you have to sell to get it? - That's low.
That is very low.
Check this out.
Voom! I forgive you.
- How did you break your finger? - Um, that? Job hazard.
That would require a job.
Now, what do you want? Okay.
Here's the story, all right? There's this guy, Faddis, down here.
Mr.
Sonny Faddis.
He's the entrepreneurial type.
He's actually a friend of mine.
Friends break bread, not fingers.
I know what you're saying about the finger, but you're wrong.
He's got people who do that for him, okay? He provided me, recently, with a little financial sustenance.
- How much do you owe him? - $5,000.
What? You went through all of this trouble to get me down here for $5,000? Listen to me, Jarod.
This Mr.
Sonny Faddis is bad news, okay? He made me choose which finger his goons would break.
I told him this one, 'cause you gotta have a free picker, you know? Thing is, Jarod, if I don't pay this guy back Argyle is ancient history, man- phfft! Besides, what's five large between friends? You tried to sell me for 10.
I know.
I know what I did.
I know what I know.
I know what I did was wrong.
I also happen to know that you, my friend and I are kindred spirits.
Don't give me that look.
We both know what it's like to be alone in this world.
And we also both know what it's like to have nobody to turn to.
You're all I got, Jarod.
[Narrating.]
I was suddenly face-to-face with my toughest pretend- becoming Argyle's friend.
[Whimpering.]
You da man, Jarod.
- I didn't need forged papers or a fake I.
D.
- You da man, Jarod.
Set us up with another couple of drinks.
- Just a lot of patience and no common sense.
- [Groans.]
[Sydney.]
You seem anxious.
Thomas must be doing important fix-it work.
I met him a few weeks ago.
We spent a couple of hours together one night.
Just talking.
- He used to work on Wall Street, but he checked out.
- Hmm.
[Sighs.]
He's renovating this absolutely ancient house near mine.
He calls it a work in progress.
I got to thinking I needed some work done on my house, so- [Sighing.]
Well, I wish I could tell you having him over was just about the water damage but it was more.
[Exhales.]
Well, it's definitely water damage.
Yeah.
[Chuckles.]
- This place is sweet though.
It's got a lot of character.
- Lot of years.
Yeah, but structure's great and masonry out front.
- Mm-hmm.
- Own or rent? It was a gift- given to me by my father when I graduated college.
It was, uh, sort of a hideaway for my parents.
[Door Closes.]
That's gotta be Mom.
- I look just like her.
I know.
- [Chuckles.]
- She passed away when I was a little girl.
- Oh.
Must have been tough.
Yeah.
Hey, you know what would be perfect right here? A lighter color.
Then we'll lose the stained glass and the bay windows and get some light reflection comin' in- brighten up the whole house.
Let's cover it with drywall and a fresh coat of paint.
- Same color.
- Mm.
- What? - [Laughing.]
[Clears Throat.]
You're a-You're a doer.
- A doer? - Yeah.
I, uh- I worked construction to pay for college.
Big Leave It To Beaver houses.
- We had two kinds of housewives.
- [Sighs.]
Fiddlers- always changed their tune.
Made you replace cabinets after they were already in.
And the doers.
Well, the doers, uh- They always made the call.
Once.
I always get what I want.
[Chuckling.]
[Jarod Narrating.]
I've heard that love makes the world go round.
Or is it money? It is in Argyle's world.
I'd gotten his $5,000 courtesy of Centre funds.
But before we went to pay off his loan shark, Mr.
Faddis Argyle insisted on making a stop.
But as is so Argyle, around every corner is another surprise.
Although his Pretender skills needed honing, Argyle was right.
In a way, we were kindred spirits.
- There was just something about Argyle l- - [Dog Barking.]
[Clicks Tongue.]
Understood.
Dog.
I gotta make sure he diddles on the balcony.
Make yourself at home.
Oh, no! For the love of Pete.
I told you the balcony.
[Dog Barks.]
- [Crowd Cheering.]
- [Triumphal.]
[TVContinues.]
Freeze, soldier! I've tangled with S.
S.
Twice your size.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- If you think you can just waltz in here and swipe my prize possessions for a vial of mind-altering crap - you got another think comin'.
- Argyle! - Make your peace, son.
- Yo, yo, yo! Yo, hold up.
Take it easy.
This is my friend.
This man is my friend.
Oh.
Wait a minute.
What the heck are you doin' here? What, I can't come here? All of a sudden, I can't come here? - My buildings are done.
- Oh, yeah? Well, your manners ain't.
Name's Benny, retired field medic.
W.
W.
II.
My name is Jarod.
Firm handshake- sign of character.
In some cultures, it means you're a skilled horseman.
I was a rodeo clown once.
Which would explain why you work with my son.
Um, yo, Pop.
That's, uh- Jarod, like myself has broadened his horizons in the ever-expanding and creatively exciting world of computer-aided drafting.
- Actually, I was just- - [Bell Dings, Tune.]
- No.
Medicine time, Pop.
- The sacred timepiece has spoken.
- [Ends.]
Cherish your health, Jarod.
It's the only thing you got that's truly yours besides earwax and nose hair.
"Demoxidyle.
" "Recrotin.
" Do you have an enzyme imbalance? Brain condition.
Also gave me this limp.
- It could be enzyme-related, but it doesn't- - Could be.
Been a pleasure, "Jerry.
" Pope's comin' back on.
Uh, isn't he on tape? You don't pause the pontiff.
You borrowed the $5,000 for him, didn't you? Well, V.
F.
W.
Gives him insurance but it don't cover what he really needs.
We lost Ma about a year ago.
He's been goin'downhill ever since.
They saw the pope together back in '95.
Giants Stadium.
That was right after Ma got sick.
Doc said she had, like, a month to live.
My old man swears the pope gave her those three extra years.
He just wants to go to Vatican City, you know? See the guy, hear the mass, maybe thank him.
- I don't know.
- $5,000 covers a trip to Italy.
Yeah.
I know.
[Clears Throat.]
- But, um- - But what? Well, uh, there's this guy who works for Faddis.
He, uh- He handles my high-yield investments.
So you borrowed $5,000 from a loan shark and then you lost it to a bookie.
Jarod, I just want my dad's trip to be top drawer, you know? First pew all the way.
Is that too much to ask? [Narrating.]
Argyle's heart was in the right place [Narrating.]
Argyle's heart was in the right place but, as usual, his brain wasn't.
I insisted we go straight to pay off Faddis.
[Chortling.]
I can't wait to see Faddis's face when I slide him the green.
He insisted on going it alone.
Be careful.
A little quick homework told me that Argyle's loan shark was a man-eater a short-tempered, violent killer- Sonny Faddis.
Along with Sonny's Clam Shack, he owned a big piece of the waterfront and supplied seafood to most of Atlantic City.
[Barking.]
It didn't take long to see that Argyle was in over his head.
- And his back against the wall.
- [Bone Cracks.]
- [Screaming.]
- [Tires Squealing.]
- Get in! Get in! - [Dog Barks.]
You mamalukes! - Ow, ow, ow, ow! - Who were they? Those guys? Faddis's boys.
- The Africans.
- Africans? - South Africans.
- Look, Argyle they would never have broken another finger if you were paid up.
Well? Okay, okay.
I owe 'em a favor.
Once I'm done with that, I'm free and clear.
[Sighs.]
Don't say it.
Don't even think it.
The guy'll fly solo on this one, man.
No worries, man.
Thanks for everything you done.
And that five grand- back in your bank account before you even know it.
Just give me a little time.
That's all.
A little time.
You know, he may be man's best friend but you, J-dog, you are my best friend.
[Whimpers.]
[Exhales.]
Argyle, here.
Two first-class tickets to Vatican City.
Make sure your dad sees the pope.
I can't, man.
It's gotta be from me.
You've already done enough.
Sayonara, man.
Adios.
Take care of yourself.
- [Engine Starts.]
- [No Audible Dialogue.]
[Narrating.]
Second thoughts can be dangerous.
But it quickly dawned on me that leaving Argyle and Dog would be like- Well, it would be like leaving two wounded animals in a trap.
Itjust wasn't in me.
You guys coming or what? - You were praying for your father, weren't you? - Yeah.
He gave it to me.
It's laminated.
He and Mom got it when they saw him in '95.
I was prayin' that, you know, he'd get to see the popester before it was too late.
Too late? Well, yeah, Jarod.
He's-He's dyin'.
Argyle's situation put into focus for me something I think I've known for a long time- that until I find my family helping people like Benny and Argyle is the next best thing.
[Jarod Narrating.]
On my end, things were going pretty smoothly.
But how was I to know that the middle part of this story would get so messy? Faddis had a simplejob for Argyle- pick up a bag of skimmed casino money from a Dumpster.
- But something about this was nagging me.
- [Dog Yips.]
Why would Faddis trust Argyle to pick up his money? After all, Argyle's a guy who named his dog well, Dog.
No worries.
Just like Argyle said.
For a second, I believed him.
[Groans.]
- A split second.
- Uh! That hurt.
Turns out the bag-and the money inside- didn't belong to Faddis.
It belonged to this guy who called himself the Cuban and called me something else.
[Irish Accent.]
LittleJoe from Chicago.
What makes you think you can come to my town kill two of my couriers and steal my money? This cash belongs to the Cuban.
- The Cuban? - Cuban? - You never heard of the Cuban? - Not one that sounds like you.
I'm not a Cuban.
I'm the Cuban.
Remember those second thoughts? And this is my little friend.
[Barking, Growling.]
[Argyle.]
Oh, yeah! Yeah! - Whoa.
- [Barking.]
- [Loud Grunt.]
You're a good boy.
You're a good boy.
You're a good boy.
- Get outta here! - Yeah.
- [Argyle.]
Aw, shoot! The money! - Forget the money.
- Argyle! - Oh, geez! - [Gunshots.]
- [Grunts.]
Drive! Drive! Drive! [Thunder Continues.]
He's still out.
God bless Dramamine.
Tell me, Parker.
This Thomas- Does he know where you work? [Thomas.]
This really hits the spot.
Mmm.
Thanks for the eats.
It's comin' out of your paycheck.
[Laughing.]
Shrimp.
- I got you hooked, didn't I? - I've always been partial to Mu Shu.
You mean that's all you ever order.
Someone once told me stability breeds success.
That's because they never had sweet-and-pungent shrimp.
Oh.
Uh-oh.
Last piece.
- [Clicks Tongue.]
- [Laughing.]
Are you always this demanding at work? I'm a doer, remember? Ah, that's right.
Corporate risk assessment.
Sounds like a fancy name for insurance.
Fancy name for stress.
I, um, mm- I solve problems for my company.
I was gonna tell you- [Clears Throat.]
I, uh- I, uh went up on the roof to check for the leak.
You know, water damage.
And, uh- Well, there may be another room back there.
Let's just cover it up like-like we talked about.
Look, my company makes me carry that.
[Murmurs.]
Hey, work is work.
Anyway, I should be done by Saturday if you don't slow me down with more food.
It's a part of me I wish he hadn't seen.
The gun is something you carry, Parker.
It's not who you are.
- [Jarod.]
Are you all right? - Oh, J-man, I'm cold.
- I'm so cold.
- What are you talking about? This is just a flesh wound.
The bullet barely nicked you.
- [Whimpers.]
- Yeah? I know what you're gonna say, but how was I supposed to know that an Irish Cuban was gonna show up and spout wiggy.
He called you LittleJoe.
What's that all about? He was obviously expecting this LittleJoe.
Yeah, but too bad for him we're the ones bringing home the green.
Goodyear blimp says Argyle's a pimp.
Oh, no, J-man.
Oh, no, J-man.
[Narrating.]
I could see it in Argyle's eyes.
Before today, I would've called it greed.
- Oh, no.
- But this was fear.
No money in the bag meant no trip to Italy and no dying wish for the one thing that really matters to Argyle- Pop.
Step back, son.
Thanks to me, no man in the 101 st ever lost a limb.
Except Bernie Sankowitz- He lost his big toe, but that's barely an appendage.
Lamina-pope let me down.
Hey, what's this doin' in here? - That's not my key.
- That's an awful lot of sedative.
[Barking.]
Hey, Pop, how about we skip the needle? - Take it like a man, soldier.
- [Gasps.]
- [Screaming.]
- [Whimpering.]
[Scream Echoing.]
[Narrating.]
I wasn't having any luck with the key but I did track down the Cuban- A.
K.
A.
Denis O'Quinn.
Turns out he was the second-biggest loan shark in Atlantic City second only to the clam king, Sonny Faddis.
But what was the Cuban doing at the Dumpster? Stealing from Faddis? No.
That didn't make any sense.
None of this does.
It felt like Faddis had set Argyle up.
But for what? The key had definitely been planted on him.
- And probably by the Africans.
- Orlani.
Faddis's minions must have planted it on Argyle when they broke his finger.
Yeah.
He's out colder than spit on ice.
- You were right- too much knockout juice.
- He'll be fine.
Not if he keeps up like this.
A son should never stop listening to his father.
He should know to stay away from the wrong people.
My Adella would have made sure of that.
- She had a beautiful smile.
- Oh, yeah, didn't she? And such a way with that kid.
- He was an only chid.
- Yep.
After he was born, Dr.
Canepa told Adella she had to close down the baby foundry.
[Chuckles.]
My buttercup always found the silver lining.
- She said Argyle broke the mold.
- Many molds.
If she was here, he wouldn't be sneaking around with a bunch of criminals pretending to be an architect.
You knew about that.
That kid wouldn't know a straightedge if it bit him on the tokus.
[Chuckles.]
I know he's not perfect, Jarod, but he's got a kind soul.
He's got her soul.
You underestimate fathers.
I may have fought in the big one but she was the real hero.
When I lost her it was like bein' at the front and losin' contact with H.
Q.
I just didn't know what was what anymore.
And I can't reach him.
God knows I'd love to find a way.
Orlani? I couldn't find a bank or a key maker with that name.
I got a buddy in the V.
F.
W.
He's a locksmith.
I'll have him take a gander.
- Where you goin'? - Trolling.
For shark.
[Narrating.]
Loan shark, that is.
Something told me that I was caught in the middle of a turfwar.
So I put on my best wiseguy duds and paid a visit to the clam king.
[Jarod.]
Mr.
Faddis, Call me the pope.
The pope, huh? Well, I don't serve loaves and fishes here.
- Andres, get me a fresh plate after I deal with this clown.
- [Man.]
It needs more garlic.
[Woman Chattering.]
So, uh, what can I do for you, Mr.
Pope? Why would you loan $5,000 - to a guy like Argyle? - Oh, you know that little weasel? If he's such a weasel, why did you ask him to make a pickup for you? - Who said I did? - He did.
Now you listen to me.
I don't care what you call yourself.
I'm gonna spell it out for you like you were five.
Argyle still owes me a big favor.
You're gonna tell me where that little insect is or you're gonna go for a long walk off a short pier.
Cliché, I know.
But I happen to own the pier.
I'll deliver you Argyle for a price.
- Ten.
- Come on.
You got more clams than that.
Twenty.
- All right.
- Al! Where are my cigars? - Sorry, Mr.
Faddis.
I just got back from Orlani.
- Thank you.
- Orlani.
- I eat there every Friday.
I keep a humidor in the back.
You like that place? What's not to like? - You oughta try the osso buco.
It's phenomenal.
- I don't care much for veal.
It reminds me of my childhood.
[Narrating.]
My meeting with Faddis answered one question.
Orlani was a restaurant, another restaurant.
I had a feeling that the key- no pun- to this mystery was locked inside a humidor there.
All I had to do was get that key back from Benny but he had a plan ofhis own.
Benny knew about Orlani all along.
And to make matters worse, the Screaming Eagle decided to take matters into his own hands drop behind enemy lines and strike a blow for his son.
I wish I could say that the war was about to end, but it was just beginning.
War is hell, especially when a slippery lock pick is suddenly the enemy.
[Muffled Yell.]
Welcome to my Waterloo.
I'm warning you! I've tangled with S.
S.
Twice your size! [Jarod Narrating.]
Benny took matters into his own hands all right.
- And the Africans were about to take a finger.
- Oh, no.
- Geez.
- I wouldn't do that.
I was unarmed, but Sydney always taught me that my brain is my most powerful weapon.
- [Grunts.]
- Benny, don't! Hey.
Let's get outta here.
Old Rommel ain't got nothin' on you.
[Chuckles.]
[Miss Parker.]
The flight from hell.
The pilot says we'll be circling for another half an hour.
Think you'll make it in time to see Thomas? It probably doesn't matter, not after the last time.
- Thomas? - In here.
I was right.
There is a room behind this wall.
And Iook what I found.
It was a studio or something.
The skylights back there are great.
As soon as I lose this wall, it'll really brighten up in here.
Leave-Leave it up.
- Are you kidding me? - Leave it up.
I have to catch a flight to Hawaii in an hour.
Just- Cover it.
You knew about the room.
I saw your mother's name on some stationery.
Catherine Parker.
It was her studio.
- You knew it was there all along.
- Yes, I did.
I'm the one who put the wall up, so just leave it up.
Parker, why didn't you say something? What am I supposed to say? [Exhales.]
You want me to tell you that that was her favorite room and that's where she would read to me and tell me stories and braid my hair? Is that what I'm supposed to do- just bare my soul to a stranger? Oh.
So, I'm a stranger.
I figured at least, uh, acquaintance.
[Hushed.]
Well, you figured wrong.
- That what the gun's for, hmm? - [Exhales.]
To keep strangers away? I'm guessing your life's filled with them- starting with her.
Put the wall back up while I'm gone.
Sure thing.
I'll be back Saturday to give you the check.
[Exhales.]
[Exhales.]
I let him go.
He stood there waiting for me to stop him and I let him go.
Your fix-it man is right, Parker.
Why is everyone a stranger? Aw, nuts! We're up to our necks in it now, Pop.
Look, Faddis, that fungus, has been in the rackets since before you two were born.
Understand something, Benny.
Faddis is a killer, and he won't stop until he finds both of you.
And who's a fungus now, Pop? You lied toJarod about the key.
You want him to fight your battles for you? Is that it? - Whoa, whoa, whoa! Nobody fights my battles for me.
- Oh, yeah? Yeah, and not everybody was so lucky they got to go to World War II.
- I was serving my country- - Okay.
Okay.
Enough! Look, your father only lied about the key because he was trying to get Faddis off your back.
- You were? - [Murmurs.]
Your son borrowed the money from Faddis so he could surprise you with a trip to the Vatican.
You mean see the big guy? Yeah, Pop.
If you just stick with me and Jarod, you know? We wanna get you there so you can see the guy, you know? Be-Before you die and all.
Isn't there something you wanna tell Argyle? [Clicks Tongue, Murmurs.]
- Benny.
- Hmm? You don't have a brain condition, do you? And this medication- [Crunching.]
Mmm.
Sugar pills.
You mean, y-you're not dyin', Pop? I've got a great idea here.
Why don't we try a little fact instead of fiction, huh? [Narrating.]
It was the first time both of them had shut up since I'd gotten there, and I knew where the silence came from.
There was a time when it would have been filled with another voice.
She's gone.
She can't be replaced.
That's not an option with mothers.
But, you two, you don't have to lose each other.
Hmm.
It was the kind of moment I left the Centre for.
Of course, helping Argyle's father meant nothing if Argyle didn't live through the week.
That's where the cigar box came in.
[Whimpers.]
Argyle thought he had everything figured out.
Hey, hey.
Yo, I got this thing nailed, J-man.
See, I'm thinkin' this guy's the Cuban, right? So he's gotta have family on the island under the yoke of the evil dictator Fidel Castro and whatnot.
But, of course, Argyle was way off.
Faddis had killed two of the Cuban's couriers and stolen his money and he needed someone to blame it on-Argyle.
The contents of the cigar box fingered Argyle as a criminal nicknamed- LittleJoe from Chicago.
You see, the Cuban was supposed to find Argyle at the Dumpster and kill him.
He'd find the key, the cigar box and have his culprit.
- And Faddis would get away with murder - [Rattling On, Indistinct.]
- and a lot of the Cuban's money.
first flight straight to Havana.
And bam, bam, bam! They are livin' high off the hog like capitalist pigs in Atlantic City.
Hmm? Hmm? Am I good? You nailed it, Argyle.
Just one question- Where were the Cuban's couriers? You're gonna go for a long walk off a short pier.
Cliché, I know, but I happen to own the pier.
Faddis had covered the Cuban's couriers in chains and tossed them.
It was a cliché- the worst kind.
I was planning a similar fate for Faddis.
It kind ofbecame my M.
O.
Since I escaped the Centre- payback against the people who think they can step on the little guy.
In this case, one of the littlest guys on the planet.
What are you doing with my case? Oh.
No, this ain't what it looks like.
- This ain't what it looks like.
- What are you doin' with this? I wasn't stealin'anything.
I was borrowing that to make this.
Lamina-pope gave me the idea.
This way, she'll always be protected from the elements and always close.
Nicest thing anybody ever did for me.
My pretend started out pretending to be Argyle's friend.
I wasn't pretending anymore.
I told Argyle to meet me at the pier at 8.
00.
But unfortunately, he was followed there by the Africans.
Coast is clear, big guy.
We're good to go.
But Faddis's goon had other ideas.
Make that goons, plural.
- [Grunts.]
- Oh! Aw, no! Aw, no! Aw! No! Aw! No! Unlike his brain, Argyle's feet were working just fine.
I'm sorry, J-man! As for the goons, well, I think you know what they had in mind for me.
[Sydney.]
Good luck, Parker, and don't worry.
Things with Thomas will work out for the best.
- Miss Parker- - Not now, Broots.
I'm in a hurry.
Oh, for what it's worth, I say go for it.
You were listening.
Well, I heard parts.
Oh, what, is everybody a spy? [Chuckles.]
Who do we work for? I'm just saying that if I felt that way about somebody I'd tell 'em.
It's like this plane ride we just took.
At any second, we could've been a statistic.
We shouldn't ever pass up an opportunity.
Thanks for the tip.
[Jarod Narrating.]
Which brings us to the end.
And with any luck, not my own.
Wake up, wiseass.
I wouldn't want you to sleep through this.
You're going in for a dip.
[Screaming.]
No! Faddis had sunk another victim but that's exactly how I'd planned it- - from the Africans following Argyle - [Beeping.]
To the camera we had set up to capture the whole thing.
Losing the lock pick, however, wasn't part of the plan.
Thank goodness for my four-legged backup.
Wait up.
Wait up.
Wait for me.
Where'd you go? Give me that.
- What are you lookin' at? - [Whimpers.]
Faddis had invited the Cuban to celebrate my long walk off a short pier.
They were heading to Orlani for some osso buco.
But like I said, I don't go for veal.
Everybody freeze.
Nobody makes a move.
The Cuban wasn't too happy when I told him what Faddis had done.
Neither were the police.
I told them where they could find Faddis, the Cuban's dead couriers and our videotape.
Nobody messes with the 'Gyle and his sidekick, J-rod! - [Dog Barks.]
- Didn't anybody ever tell you crime don't pay? We're a pretty good team, you and me.
- Thomas? - [Keys Clatter.]
You always this punctual? The storm.
[Sighs.]
We had to circle and- I know you didn't ask for a door.
If you want, I can put the wall back up.
So, what's the damage? Same price.
Nothing extra.
It's locked now, but if you want to open it you got the option.
Tommy.
I shouldn't have lied.
It's just- I was very young when my mother died.
And after it happened, I just- My- l- I just couldn't bring myself to go into that room.
[Sighs.]
Mom and I used to- used to talk all night in there.
And moonlight made it so special.
She had a very painful life and that room was her sanctuary.
No, Parker.
You were.
But you can't remember that.
When you closed off that room, you closed off a part of your soul- the part that came from her.
Get it back.
I can't do it alone.
Come on.
It'll be okay.
[Key Turns In Lock.]
[Woman Vocalizing, Ethereal.]
[Chattering.]
Your Holiness, this is truly a great honor.
I only wish my Adella was here.
But I guess she's watching from up above.
Huh? Nobody knows that better than you, hey, big guy? You know, he's so, like, human.
- I know.
He ain't no lamina-pope.
- It's amazing.
[Speaking Italian.]
Argyle will never forget this, baby.
Your Highness, talk to me about the gift shop.
What's up with those people down there? They don't have any manners? They work for you? Think you could kick us in a discount? You ever think about getting those prayer cards laminated? Hmm? Hmm? What you think?