The Wonder Years s03e12 Episode Script
The Powers That Be
Every family has its chain of command.
From the pawn Through the established ranks To the lord and master of all things great and small.
But one week out of the year, a forcewould blow into town that even my father could not control.
To the left left Grampa Arnold.
Why don't you give him a hand, Jack? He knows what he's doing.
My fault entirely! Sorry! Within minutes of my grandfather's arrival My father would find some household chore to keep him busy Until Gramps pulled out again.
Not that I understood exactly why Well, I better get started on the gutters.
Hey! I made it! Hah-hah-hah.
Ow, ow, oh Stop it - you're hurting my hand! Ohh! To me, Gramps was a funny old guy whopulled silver-dollars out of my ears.
Grampa What have you been doing - lifting weights or something? Grampa, this is really beautiful! Oh, well I'm glad you like it.
It belonged to your grandmother.
I didn't know if you kids still wore these things or not.
No, it's perfect! Albert? Would you like something to drink with your lunch? No, no - nothing for me.
But how about a big glass of milk for my boy, here? We gotta keep those bones nice and strong.
Like I said - a real cornball.
Oh Wayne.
Remember this? No Oh, sure you do used to play with it all the time When we were in that old house.
You'd take it out into the yard, and you'd say "Fly away birdies, I'm comin' to get ya " O - kay Wayne thank Grampa for the gift! Oh, yeah, thanks I'm gonna go test it right now.
Maybe he was a little out of touch with our generation.
Come on - drink up, drink up, drink up! But there was something about Gramps thatmade me feel like I was five years old again.
Say I just remembered I got you a present too.
I think I left it in the car.
I can't believe it.
You like him? I love him! Well, the last time I was here,that's all you could talk about,so I figured - why not? "Why not" - two glorious words that separatethe men from the boys - the doers from the sayers.
We're not keeping that dog.
The fathers from the grandfathers.
Good afternoon, John.
Nice to see you again.
Dad.
Come on, Dad.
Please, please, please let me keep him? Too much to handle I can handle it.
I know I can handle it The boy's thirteen years old, John.
I know how old he is.
And I knowwhat having a dog in the house means.
So did I.
It meant stick-throwing face-licking romping Responsibility.
That too.
A dog chews things.
A dog needs to be walked.
And I'm not the one that's gonna be the one walkin' him at six in the morning! I promise, you'll never have to walk him Give the boy a chance, John.
A boy needs a dog.
Besides I can't take him back for a week.
Maybe by then your old man will have changed his mind, huh? Hhnhh.
And there ya had it.
Cornball or not, Gramps was a kindred spirit, a giver of gifts - a prince.
On the face of it - an insignificant pulpy tuber.
But consider it.
What does this potato have to do with the course of human events? Hands! Genetics! The transfer of traits from generation to generation - as we shall see from our project.
Now! Here we go.
Let's pass them out.
Pass 'em backwards! What's he doing? Got me Fact is, I was wondering what I was doing,sitting in Mr.
Cory's classroom - when I could be home playing with a puppy.
For our homework, each of us will take our potato, put it into a glass And log the data! Heredity - we'll learn from nature! You gotta go easy on these frames.
Dad, the frame's made of maple.
One pop isn't gonna crack the frame.
Of course when it came to the study of heredity,I was getting a crash course at home.
Patience, son, patience! And in the midst of it all,something terrible was beginning to happen.
I was falling in love.
Dad, I've been putting these windows in for twenty years.
I know what I'm doing.
Sit sit sit.
Good boy.
Hey Dad, Dad! Come here - look! What do you want?! Dad, look! Not bad for an old man, hah? Well, I guess you're looking forward to a good season.
Yeah, you bet your sweet bippy I am.
"Bippy"? What is that - "bippy"? That night, I was noticing a connection.
Everytime Gramps opened his mouth,my father would glare a little harder at the puppy.
That's what people laugh at these days - "bippy"? Well, it's not funny, like - "hah-hah" funny - it's like *loose, wild* funny.
You want to see funny, you ought to watch some "Honeymooner's" reruns.
But wait a minute.
What was this? Oh! That's Jack's favorite show.
Hmm? Really? One of the best.
You ever see the one where Norton and Ralph bought the hotel? This was great! By some fantastic coincidence,Gramps had stumbled onto the one thingthat made my father really come alive.
Or the one where Ralph forgets Alice's birthday? I love that one! Yeah, I saw that one.
Heh-heh.
Little did Gramps know that Dad's Ralph Kramden impersonation was legendary.
Around our house, anyway.
Jack? Hmmm? - Do your "Ralph Kramden".
- Yeah, come on, Dad.
I didn't know you did imitations, John.
Neither did I.
- Oh, just once - please.
- Come on, let's see it.
"One of these days, Alice one of these days - Bang!- Zoom! - to the moon".
Honey you can do it a little better than that Well, to do it right, you a little more elbow-room.
Well OK, so much for the warm-up.
Time for Dad to let out all the stops.
The patented "Ed Norton double-take".
"Do it! Will you already?!" And just when it seemed like the sun was never gonna shine again The clouds began to break.
That's Gleason? That doesn't sound like Gleason.
And then the rains came.
Oh, I'll get the paper towels, honey.
I leave the house at seven in the morning.
The dog is walked and fed before I come downstairs.
Is that understood? The dog stays in the basement at all times.
You walk the dog after school and at night when you're through with your homework - any questions? No.
No Seemed pretty clear to me.
Whatever was going on between Dad and Grampa It added up to one thing.
Genetically speaking I was definitely getting the raw end of the stick.
Over the next few days One thing became crystal clear.
In the battle between boy-against-puppy I was gonna have to take control.
No matter what the cost.
No matter how great the sacrifice.
No matter how late the hours.
Kevin! Kevin! It was man-against-beast A fight to the finish.
There was only one little problem The beast was winning.
Working pretty hard are ya? I guess so.
It's not easy raising a puppy.
Toughest job there is.
He's learning, though.
Tell ya what, nice hard-working lad like you - how about I take you down for a nice big banana split from the ice cream store? Where ya going? Well, I'm going to take the boy for some ice cream - come along if you like.
Kevin, did you walk your dog? I was gonna walk him when I get back.
You're gonna walk him now.
But Dad Cut the boy some slack, John.
- It can wait twenty minutes.
- No, Dad, it can't wait twenty minutes.
If the dog has gotta go He isn't gonna wait twenty minutes.
You like to wait twenty minutes? Not for my ice cream.
I guess I better walk the dog, Grampa.
Suit yourself.
Seems a shame though - can't even take my grandson for a little treat.
Kev! Kev, wait up! Look, I know it seems I'm being tough Tough? Well, not more than say Ghengis Khan.
Believe me there's a reason.
OK, I was willing to listen to reason.
It's just Well Dammit, Dad! Why do you put this thing so close to the driveway? Why don't you stay on the damn driveway? Ah! Dad? What?! What were you going to say? Never mind, you wouldn't understand.
It's about fathers and sons.
Oh.
So how is everything? Delicious, Norma - couldn't be better.
Yeah, couldn't be better.
"Fathers and sons" - "I wouldn't understand?" What had Dad meant by that? Now what's wrong? Nothin' nothin'.
Did you, uh Did you put pepper in these spuds? Oh, Albert! I'm so sorry - I forgot.
Forgot what? Gas.
Pepper gives me gas.
Oh, maybe you'd like some corn instead? No I think not.
Corn sticks in my teeth.
Well I'm going shopping tomorrow - maybe I can pick you up some things.
Don't you be foolish, Norma.
You buy everything the same way you always do.
Sure spend another day cooking a meal he won't eat.
Grampa, why don't you try some biscuits - they should be easy to digest.
He can't eat biscuits.
Right, Dad? I can't Tell 'em why not.
The starch.
Too much starch, Norma.
Um, Mom, I've got a a date.
Yeah, me too.
She spent a lot of time cooking this meal.
The least you could do - John! Pepper gives me gas, alright? The potatoes have pepper in 'em.
- Forget the damn potatoes.
- What I'm talking about is a little respect here.
Can I say something please? Kevin! Just stay out of this.
I - Honey It's OK, Mom.
What do you want me to say, son? What do you want me to say? You waltz in here you pick at my wife's food you run over my lamp-post and you bring a dog! The dog was a gift, John.
What do you want from me? They just kept on arguing.
They didn't even notice I'd gone.
You didn't even bother to ask my permission! Oh! Now I have to ask your permission to give my grandson a dog?! Yeah, Dad.
My permission! Is that too much to ask when you're in my house?! I don't tell you when to come and go.
You want me to go - I'll go! That's up to you! Dad? I'd go tonight - except I didn't bring my other glasses.
You're driving around without your driving-glasses Grampa? How can you forget your damn driving-glasses?! I forgot 'em - it's as simple as that! Listen to me! I wanted them to tell me why they were fighting.
Why they kept hurting each other like this.
Why it was that the two men who meant the whole world to me had to act like - children.
But most of all, I just wanted them to stop.
Here.
I don't want the dog.
That night a thought about the gifts Gramps had brought me.
How giving gifts used to be so simple.
And life was a never-ending bounty of riches I thought would never end.
Son? You awake? I guess I should have been happy.
But I wasn't.
Not a bad little pup.
He's got spirit.
Dad, when did Gramps leave? You didn't send him home, did you? No one ever sent your grandfather home before he was ready.
Oh Gramps and I had a little talk this morning,Kev Well, kind of a talk.
We kind of agreed that, uh You should keep the puppy.
You did? - We thought - - I don't want it.
And I didn't.
I was sick of that puppy.
I was tired of being a pawn.
First you tell me I can't have a dog - then you tell me I should keep it! What about my decision? Doesn't it count? Course it counts.
Well, you sure don't act like it! What's so funny? You remind me of someone I know I dunno, I guess it runs in the family.
I hope you decide to keep it, Kev.
I think we need a dog.
You, me, gramps I think we need to do this.
And for some reason, maybe the way he said it, I began to understand.
We need a dog, son.
He wasn't giving me an order.
My dad was asking me for help.
He doesn't have a name Well, find him a name.
That morning, as I stood with the man who was my father The son of my grandfather, the man whowould one day be the grandfather of my son's I realized something.
That not all gifts are simple.
That some battles are fought out of love.
Come on, lets take him for a walk.
Turn Turn Turn by The byrds ¢Ü To everything turn, turn, turn ¢Ü ¢Ü There is a season turn, turn, turn ¢Ü ¢Ü And a time to every purpose ¢Ü ¢Ü Under heaven ¢Ü ¢Ü A time to gain, a time to lose ¢Ü ¢Ü A time to rain, a time of sow ¢Ü ¢Ü A time for love, a time for hate ¢Ü ÇϺñ ÀÚ¸· µ¿È£È¸ ¢Ü A time for peace ¢Ü °¨»çÇÕÏÙÙ.
¢Ü I sewar it's not too late ¢Ü iamy1004
From the pawn Through the established ranks To the lord and master of all things great and small.
But one week out of the year, a forcewould blow into town that even my father could not control.
To the left left Grampa Arnold.
Why don't you give him a hand, Jack? He knows what he's doing.
My fault entirely! Sorry! Within minutes of my grandfather's arrival My father would find some household chore to keep him busy Until Gramps pulled out again.
Not that I understood exactly why Well, I better get started on the gutters.
Hey! I made it! Hah-hah-hah.
Ow, ow, oh Stop it - you're hurting my hand! Ohh! To me, Gramps was a funny old guy whopulled silver-dollars out of my ears.
Grampa What have you been doing - lifting weights or something? Grampa, this is really beautiful! Oh, well I'm glad you like it.
It belonged to your grandmother.
I didn't know if you kids still wore these things or not.
No, it's perfect! Albert? Would you like something to drink with your lunch? No, no - nothing for me.
But how about a big glass of milk for my boy, here? We gotta keep those bones nice and strong.
Like I said - a real cornball.
Oh Wayne.
Remember this? No Oh, sure you do used to play with it all the time When we were in that old house.
You'd take it out into the yard, and you'd say "Fly away birdies, I'm comin' to get ya " O - kay Wayne thank Grampa for the gift! Oh, yeah, thanks I'm gonna go test it right now.
Maybe he was a little out of touch with our generation.
Come on - drink up, drink up, drink up! But there was something about Gramps thatmade me feel like I was five years old again.
Say I just remembered I got you a present too.
I think I left it in the car.
I can't believe it.
You like him? I love him! Well, the last time I was here,that's all you could talk about,so I figured - why not? "Why not" - two glorious words that separatethe men from the boys - the doers from the sayers.
We're not keeping that dog.
The fathers from the grandfathers.
Good afternoon, John.
Nice to see you again.
Dad.
Come on, Dad.
Please, please, please let me keep him? Too much to handle I can handle it.
I know I can handle it The boy's thirteen years old, John.
I know how old he is.
And I knowwhat having a dog in the house means.
So did I.
It meant stick-throwing face-licking romping Responsibility.
That too.
A dog chews things.
A dog needs to be walked.
And I'm not the one that's gonna be the one walkin' him at six in the morning! I promise, you'll never have to walk him Give the boy a chance, John.
A boy needs a dog.
Besides I can't take him back for a week.
Maybe by then your old man will have changed his mind, huh? Hhnhh.
And there ya had it.
Cornball or not, Gramps was a kindred spirit, a giver of gifts - a prince.
On the face of it - an insignificant pulpy tuber.
But consider it.
What does this potato have to do with the course of human events? Hands! Genetics! The transfer of traits from generation to generation - as we shall see from our project.
Now! Here we go.
Let's pass them out.
Pass 'em backwards! What's he doing? Got me Fact is, I was wondering what I was doing,sitting in Mr.
Cory's classroom - when I could be home playing with a puppy.
For our homework, each of us will take our potato, put it into a glass And log the data! Heredity - we'll learn from nature! You gotta go easy on these frames.
Dad, the frame's made of maple.
One pop isn't gonna crack the frame.
Of course when it came to the study of heredity,I was getting a crash course at home.
Patience, son, patience! And in the midst of it all,something terrible was beginning to happen.
I was falling in love.
Dad, I've been putting these windows in for twenty years.
I know what I'm doing.
Sit sit sit.
Good boy.
Hey Dad, Dad! Come here - look! What do you want?! Dad, look! Not bad for an old man, hah? Well, I guess you're looking forward to a good season.
Yeah, you bet your sweet bippy I am.
"Bippy"? What is that - "bippy"? That night, I was noticing a connection.
Everytime Gramps opened his mouth,my father would glare a little harder at the puppy.
That's what people laugh at these days - "bippy"? Well, it's not funny, like - "hah-hah" funny - it's like *loose, wild* funny.
You want to see funny, you ought to watch some "Honeymooner's" reruns.
But wait a minute.
What was this? Oh! That's Jack's favorite show.
Hmm? Really? One of the best.
You ever see the one where Norton and Ralph bought the hotel? This was great! By some fantastic coincidence,Gramps had stumbled onto the one thingthat made my father really come alive.
Or the one where Ralph forgets Alice's birthday? I love that one! Yeah, I saw that one.
Heh-heh.
Little did Gramps know that Dad's Ralph Kramden impersonation was legendary.
Around our house, anyway.
Jack? Hmmm? - Do your "Ralph Kramden".
- Yeah, come on, Dad.
I didn't know you did imitations, John.
Neither did I.
- Oh, just once - please.
- Come on, let's see it.
"One of these days, Alice one of these days - Bang!- Zoom! - to the moon".
Honey you can do it a little better than that Well, to do it right, you a little more elbow-room.
Well OK, so much for the warm-up.
Time for Dad to let out all the stops.
The patented "Ed Norton double-take".
"Do it! Will you already?!" And just when it seemed like the sun was never gonna shine again The clouds began to break.
That's Gleason? That doesn't sound like Gleason.
And then the rains came.
Oh, I'll get the paper towels, honey.
I leave the house at seven in the morning.
The dog is walked and fed before I come downstairs.
Is that understood? The dog stays in the basement at all times.
You walk the dog after school and at night when you're through with your homework - any questions? No.
No Seemed pretty clear to me.
Whatever was going on between Dad and Grampa It added up to one thing.
Genetically speaking I was definitely getting the raw end of the stick.
Over the next few days One thing became crystal clear.
In the battle between boy-against-puppy I was gonna have to take control.
No matter what the cost.
No matter how great the sacrifice.
No matter how late the hours.
Kevin! Kevin! It was man-against-beast A fight to the finish.
There was only one little problem The beast was winning.
Working pretty hard are ya? I guess so.
It's not easy raising a puppy.
Toughest job there is.
He's learning, though.
Tell ya what, nice hard-working lad like you - how about I take you down for a nice big banana split from the ice cream store? Where ya going? Well, I'm going to take the boy for some ice cream - come along if you like.
Kevin, did you walk your dog? I was gonna walk him when I get back.
You're gonna walk him now.
But Dad Cut the boy some slack, John.
- It can wait twenty minutes.
- No, Dad, it can't wait twenty minutes.
If the dog has gotta go He isn't gonna wait twenty minutes.
You like to wait twenty minutes? Not for my ice cream.
I guess I better walk the dog, Grampa.
Suit yourself.
Seems a shame though - can't even take my grandson for a little treat.
Kev! Kev, wait up! Look, I know it seems I'm being tough Tough? Well, not more than say Ghengis Khan.
Believe me there's a reason.
OK, I was willing to listen to reason.
It's just Well Dammit, Dad! Why do you put this thing so close to the driveway? Why don't you stay on the damn driveway? Ah! Dad? What?! What were you going to say? Never mind, you wouldn't understand.
It's about fathers and sons.
Oh.
So how is everything? Delicious, Norma - couldn't be better.
Yeah, couldn't be better.
"Fathers and sons" - "I wouldn't understand?" What had Dad meant by that? Now what's wrong? Nothin' nothin'.
Did you, uh Did you put pepper in these spuds? Oh, Albert! I'm so sorry - I forgot.
Forgot what? Gas.
Pepper gives me gas.
Oh, maybe you'd like some corn instead? No I think not.
Corn sticks in my teeth.
Well I'm going shopping tomorrow - maybe I can pick you up some things.
Don't you be foolish, Norma.
You buy everything the same way you always do.
Sure spend another day cooking a meal he won't eat.
Grampa, why don't you try some biscuits - they should be easy to digest.
He can't eat biscuits.
Right, Dad? I can't Tell 'em why not.
The starch.
Too much starch, Norma.
Um, Mom, I've got a a date.
Yeah, me too.
She spent a lot of time cooking this meal.
The least you could do - John! Pepper gives me gas, alright? The potatoes have pepper in 'em.
- Forget the damn potatoes.
- What I'm talking about is a little respect here.
Can I say something please? Kevin! Just stay out of this.
I - Honey It's OK, Mom.
What do you want me to say, son? What do you want me to say? You waltz in here you pick at my wife's food you run over my lamp-post and you bring a dog! The dog was a gift, John.
What do you want from me? They just kept on arguing.
They didn't even notice I'd gone.
You didn't even bother to ask my permission! Oh! Now I have to ask your permission to give my grandson a dog?! Yeah, Dad.
My permission! Is that too much to ask when you're in my house?! I don't tell you when to come and go.
You want me to go - I'll go! That's up to you! Dad? I'd go tonight - except I didn't bring my other glasses.
You're driving around without your driving-glasses Grampa? How can you forget your damn driving-glasses?! I forgot 'em - it's as simple as that! Listen to me! I wanted them to tell me why they were fighting.
Why they kept hurting each other like this.
Why it was that the two men who meant the whole world to me had to act like - children.
But most of all, I just wanted them to stop.
Here.
I don't want the dog.
That night a thought about the gifts Gramps had brought me.
How giving gifts used to be so simple.
And life was a never-ending bounty of riches I thought would never end.
Son? You awake? I guess I should have been happy.
But I wasn't.
Not a bad little pup.
He's got spirit.
Dad, when did Gramps leave? You didn't send him home, did you? No one ever sent your grandfather home before he was ready.
Oh Gramps and I had a little talk this morning,Kev Well, kind of a talk.
We kind of agreed that, uh You should keep the puppy.
You did? - We thought - - I don't want it.
And I didn't.
I was sick of that puppy.
I was tired of being a pawn.
First you tell me I can't have a dog - then you tell me I should keep it! What about my decision? Doesn't it count? Course it counts.
Well, you sure don't act like it! What's so funny? You remind me of someone I know I dunno, I guess it runs in the family.
I hope you decide to keep it, Kev.
I think we need a dog.
You, me, gramps I think we need to do this.
And for some reason, maybe the way he said it, I began to understand.
We need a dog, son.
He wasn't giving me an order.
My dad was asking me for help.
He doesn't have a name Well, find him a name.
That morning, as I stood with the man who was my father The son of my grandfather, the man whowould one day be the grandfather of my son's I realized something.
That not all gifts are simple.
That some battles are fought out of love.
Come on, lets take him for a walk.
Turn Turn Turn by The byrds ¢Ü To everything turn, turn, turn ¢Ü ¢Ü There is a season turn, turn, turn ¢Ü ¢Ü And a time to every purpose ¢Ü ¢Ü Under heaven ¢Ü ¢Ü A time to gain, a time to lose ¢Ü ¢Ü A time to rain, a time of sow ¢Ü ¢Ü A time for love, a time for hate ¢Ü ÇϺñ ÀÚ¸· µ¿È£È¸ ¢Ü A time for peace ¢Ü °¨»çÇÕÏÙÙ.
¢Ü I sewar it's not too late ¢Ü iamy1004