The X-Files s03e12 Episode Script
War of the Coprophages
Behold the mighty cockroach.
Believed to have originated in the Silurian period over 350 million years ago.
They can be found in every part of the world, from the tropics to the arctic.
There exists and in a year, a single female can produce over half a million descendants.
Radiation doesn't kill them.
By evolutionary standards, they are nearly flawless creatures, but creatures nevertheless.
Possessing only a simple nervous system, their behavior is dictated solely by responses to environmental stimuli.
Unlike us, they are incapable of thought, of self-illumination.
Compared to the roach, we are gods and must therefore act accordingly.
Is it true if you decapitate them, they continue to live, eventually dying of starvation? Look, buddy, I just kill 'em.
Well, that's why I called you.
I thought that nowadays you froze the insects to death.
Freeze them? Where's the fun in that? No, we got a new pesticide that works like a fungus.
It not only kills the infected roach, but that roach then spreads the disease to every other roach it comes into contact with.
Well, just as long as you, uh, get rid of them.
Bugs- I don't know.
They drive me crazy.
Why, you arrogant little- I forgot to tell you I also found a roach on- - Mulder.
- Where have you been? I've been trying to reach you.
My apartment complex was being fumigated, so I thought I'd get away for the weekend.
I came up to Massachusetts.
- Visiting your mother? - No, just, uh, sitting and thinking.
Widespread accounts of unidentified colored lights hovering in the skies were reported in this area last night.
Look, Scully, I know it's not your inclination, but did you ever look up into the night sky and feel certain that not only was something up there, but it was looking down on you at that exact same moment and was just as curious about you as you are about it? Mulder, I think the only thing more fortuitous than the emergence of life on this planet is that, through purely random laws of biological evolution, an intelligence as complex as ours ever emanated from it.
The very idea of intelligent alien life is not only astronomically improbable, but, at it's most basic level, downright anti-Darwinian.
Scully, what are you wearing? I understand what youre saying, but I, I just need to keep looking.
Yeah, well, don't look too hard.
You might not like what you find.
Isn't that what Dr.
Zaius said to Charlton Heston at the end of Planet of the Apes? And look what happened.
- Scully, I got to go.
- What? Mulder, what's going on? Mulder.
How you doing? What are you doing? - Just sitting, thinking.
- Sitting and thinking? And talking on the phone? Who with, your drug dealer? Let me see some I.
D.
The Bureau? You on a case? I heard reports of several U.
F.
O.
sightings in this area last night.
You see anything? No, sir, not personally.
But we did receive a lot of telephone calls.
- Any more calls tonight? - No, sir.
The F.
B.
I.
keeps tabs on these things? No.
Excuse me, sir, I don't like to pry, but why are you sitting here with your wiper blades on? Oh, I was just knocking off some bugs that landed on my- - Landed on my windshield.
- Cockroaches? Maybe.
Maybe beetles.
I don't know.
I'm not really good with bugs.
This is dispatch.
Come in.
Over.
- Sorry to disturb you, sir.
- What's the matter? Another roach attack.
- Hello? - I think you better get up here.
- What is it? - It appears that cockroaches are mortally attacking people.
I'm not gonna ask you if you just said what I think you just said because I know it's what you just said.
I'm crouching over a bug exterminator whose recently deceased body was discovered with cockroaches crawling all over him.
The local sheriff says that two other bodies were found in the same condition this afternoon.
- Where are you again? - Miller's Grove.
It has a large science constituency.
The other incidents involved a molecular biologist and an astrophysicist, and the witness to this case is an alternative fuel researcher.
These reports are not coming from yahoos out in the boondocks.
The image of those cockroaches has been permanently imprinted onto my brain.
I see them every time I close my eyes.
Try not to close your eyes.
How am I gonna sleep? And where? I'm certainly not spending the night here.
Maybe you could get a motel room or something.
- Were there insect bites on the body? - Insect bites? - No.
- No.
'Cause you know, millions of people are actually allergic to cockroaches.
There have been reported cases of fatal reactions.
It's called, uh, anaphylactic shock.
- Anaphylactic shock? - Mm-hmm.
Many such reactions have occurred to entomologists or exterminators.
- Okay, we'll check that out.
- You still want me to come up? No, no, no.
I'm sure youre right.
Thanks, Scully.
- Who was that? - My drug dealer.
Dude, that's some good crap.
Come on, it's your hoot.
Um, I don't know about this, you guys.
You really ought to, you know.
Try it.
This stuff takes your mind and just sort of, you know, expands it.
Well, something tells me it's more than my mind you guys are interested in expanding.
Well, how about another beer then? - Okay.
- I don't know.
I think youre making a mistake here.
Beer is just, you know, beer.
But this stuff, it, like, swings the doors of perception so wide open, you can see whole 'nother world out there.
But it's still like this world, you know.
It tweaks your mind and does this whole altered state thing to it.
And suddenly, you see reality as it, you know, really exists.
- Oh, God.
- Dude, what's wrong, man? Oh, God! Roaches! - Dude, you're freaking, man! - Roaches! Cockroaches! - What's the matter, man? - What? Stay.
Hello.
- I take it back, Scully.
I think you better get up here.
- Another roach attack? Yeah, and this was no allergic reaction.
Two witnesses claim they saw the victim screaming about cockroaches burrowing into him.
Are there still insects in the body? We haven't located any yet, but there are wounds all over the body.
From the cockroaches? Well, the victim did attempt to extract the insects using a razor blade, but we're not sure all of the incisions are self-inflicted, except for the severed artery.
Was there any evidence of drug use at the crime scene? Uh, well, he did have a homemade lab set up, but I'm not sure what he was producing.
Aw, man! Smells like a septic tank! Would you make sure this gets analyzed here? You know, Mulder, there's a psychotic disorder associated with some forms of drug abuse where the abuser suffers from delusions that insects are infesting their epidermis.
- It's called Ekbom's Syndrome.
- Ekbom's Syndrome? The victim cuts himself in an attempt to extract the imaginary insect.
You still want me to come up? No.
You're probably right.
I'm sorry to bother you.
It's no bother.
Bye.
Hey! Kids are brain-dead.
I couldn't get anything out of them.
What about some urine? For a drug test.
- Did you get it? - Get me a container.
Oh, I think I killed it.
You killed it? You annihilated it.
It must have molted.
Its just empty exoskeleton.
Well, at least we have evidence that cockroaches were actually here.
We've got more than that, Sheriff.
I think that bug's exoskeleton was made of metal.
Nothing more than a skin abrasion.
An abrasion caused by a metallic substance? Why don't we wait until the analysis of the compound is finished before jumping to any conclusions? Uh, Agent Mulder, as a doctor, I always find it best to be completely honest and open with my patients, no matter how unpleasant the information.
What do you need to tell me? No.
I need you to tell me something.
What the hell is going on here? Wha- - Are we in any danger? - I don't know.
- Well, should I evacuate my family? - I wouldn't know.
Doc, they're waiting for you to examine the boy's body.
Yeah, uh, as soon I take a little break.
After talking with Agent Mulder here, I suddenly feel slightly constipated.
- What's his problem? - He's upset that I don't know what's going on here.
So what the hell is going on here? I see the correlation, but just because I work for the federal government doesn't mean I'm an expert on cockroaches.
So you don't know anything about the government's experiments - being conducted here? - Experiments? A couple of months ago, an agent claiming to be from the Department of Agriculture sets up base on a couple of acres across town.
Nobody knows exactly what's going on out there.
- It's top secret, very hush-hush.
- What are you suggesting? Killer bees were a genetic experiment gone awry, let loose on an unsuspecting populace.
Who's to say the government hasn't created a new breed of killer cockroaches? You might want to keep that theory to yourself, Sheriff.
No need to create a panic.
Oh!Oh, my God! Help! Somebody help! Hey! What the hell happened? Cockroaches.
He was covered in cockroaches.
- I don't see any roaches.
- When I went out to look for help and I came back, they disappeared.
Gently.
Gently.
Hmm.
Doesn't appear odd in any- Ooh! Next time, let me handle the roaches.
- Who died now? - The medical examiner.
His body was found next to a toilet, covered with roaches.
- I really think you should come- - A toilet? Check his eyes.
Is one of them bloodshot with a dilated pupil? - Yeah.
- Well, it's probably a brain aneurysm.
- Brain aneurysm? - Straining too forcefully is very common causation for bursting a brain aneurysm.
Well, how do you explain the roaches though? - Did you catch any? - Almost.
I don't know what to tell you, Mulder.
I just hope youre not implying you've come across an infestation of killer cockroaches.
- Mulder.
- Mulder? I've been doing some research.
Back in the mid -'80s, there was a cockroach species previously only found in Asia, and since then, it's made an appearance in Florida.
They've now completely established themselves in this country.
- Do they attack people? - No, but they exhibit behavior different than domestic breeds.
They fly for long distances, and they're attracted to light.
- But do they attack people? - I'm suggesting that what's happening out there might be the introduction to this country of a new species of cockroach, - one that is attracted to people.
- That all makes perfect sense, Scully.
I don't like it at all.
Did you know that the federal government, under the guise of the Department of Agriculture, has been conducting secret experiments up here? You're not thinking about trespassing onto government property again, are you? I know that youve done it in the past, but I don't think that this case warrants- It's too late.
I'm already inside.
Well, what's going on? What do you see? I'm in a house.
It's apparently empty.
- What does the place look like? - It's a, uh typical two-story suburban house.
Nice big living room, sparsely furnished.
Nice carpets, fireplace.
Nice kitchen.
Modern appliances.
- Moving walls.
- Moving walls? Yeah.
They're rippling.
Oh! Cockroaches! - What? - Cockroaches.
They're everywhere.
Ah! I'm surrounded! Mulder, you've got to get out of there right now.
- Nooo! - Are you all right? What happened? Flashlight went out.
Mulder, what's going on? Gotta go.
Mulder! Mulder! May I ask why you're trespassing on government property? - I'm a federal agent.
- So am I.
Agent Mulder, F.
B.
I.
Doctor Berenbaum, U.
S.
D.
A.
Agricultural Research Service.
Doctor Berenbaum, I'm going to have to ask you a few questions.
For instance? What's a woman like you doing in a place like this? By studying how insects respond to changes in light, temperature, air currents, food availability, we can determine the best ways to eradicate them.
Why all the secrecy about your research? You've got some of the good townspeople suspicious.
You expect us to advertise that we've intentionally infested a house in their neighborhood with thousands of cockroaches? But those, those cockroaches, are they a normal species? They're a common one.
Have you ever come across a type of cockroach that is attracted to people? Most cockroaches have been known to actually wash themselves - after being touched by humans.
- Really.
So youve never seen an instance where a cockroach actually attacks a human being? There have been cases where a cockroach has crawled into a person's ear or nose.
Nose? What is that there? Oh, its just a pet project of mine.
Since an insect's exoskeleton is a dielectric surrounding the conductive medium of its body fluid, when introduced into an electrical field, the brushed discharge will result in a colored fare.
What is that supposed to prove? Well, it's my theory that U.
F.
O.
's are actually insect swarms.
I don't know if you know anything about U.
F.
O.
's, but all the characteristics of a typical sighting are shared with nocturnal insects swarming through an electrical air field.
The sudden appearance of a colored, glowing light hovering in the night sky, moving in a nonmechanical matter, possibly humming, creating interference with radio and television signals, then suddenly disappearing.
As, uh, nocturnal insect swarms, that's, uh, that's fascinating.
Everything about insects is fascinating.
They are truly remarkable creatures.
- So beautiful and so honest.
- Honest? Eat, sleep, defecate, procreate.
That's all they do.
That's all we do, but at least insects don't kid themselves that it's anything more than that.
Does my scientific detachment disturb you? No.
No, actually, I, I find it quite refreshing.
Not now.
You know, um- I have always found insects to be very interesting.
Really? This is the fifth report of a deceased body being found amongst a horde of cockroaches, but police are not confirming, at least not yet, that the insects have anything to do with the fatalities.
Police have also disaffirmed the rumor that these deaths were the result of an outbreak of the Ebola virus somehow being spread by infected cockroaches.
As for now, these incidents remain under local jurisdiction, but a nurse here did confirm that an F.
B.
I.
agent is on the case.
Police are asking that if you see any cockroaches, don't panic.
Simply notify the local authorities and evacuate the area immediately.
Reporting live, this is Skye Leikin for Channel Three, Night watch News.
Then suddenly, there was this terrible crash.
You know, you could've been killed.
Mulder, are you okay? - I can't sleep.
- What happened at the U.
S.
D.
A.
site? They're conducting legitimate experiments.
I met an entomologist, Dr.
Berenbaum, who agrees with your theory of an accidental importation of a new cockroach species.
Did he give you any idea of how to catch them? No.
But she did tell me everything else there is to know about insects.
- She? - Yeah.
Did you know that the ancient Egyptians worshipped the scarab beetle and possibly erected the pyramids to honor them, which may just be giant symbolic dung heaps? Did you know the inventor of the flush toilet was named Thomas Crapper? - Bambi also has this theory I've never come acro- - Who? - Dr.
Berenbaum.
Anyway, her theory is- - Her name is Bambi? Yeah.
Both her parents were naturalists.
Her theory is that U.
F.
O.
's are actually nocturnal insect swarms passing through electrical air fields.
- Her name is Bambi? - Scully, can I confess something to you? Yeah, sure, okay.
I hate insects.
You know, lots of people are afraid of insects, Mulder.
Its just a- It's a natural, instinctive- No, no, I'm not afraid of them.
I hate them.
One day back when I was a kid, I was, uh, I was climbing this tree when I noticed this leaf walking towards me.
It took forever to realize that it was no leaf.
- A praying mantis? - Yeah, I had a praying mantis epiphany.
And as a result, I screamed.
No, not a girlie scream, but the scream of someone being confronted by some before unknown monster that had no right existing on the same planet I inhabited.
Did you ever notice how a praying mantis' head resembles an alien's head? The mysteries of the natural world were revealed to me that day, but instead of being astounded, I was - repulsed.
- Mulder, are you sure it wasn't a girlie scream? What was that? - Oh, I got to go.
- Mul- No- Ohh! - Did you hear that too? - Came from over there.
What the hell's going on? Hello? Is everything all right in there? Don't go in there, man! What happened this time? One of the motel guests died.
Mulder, I'm coming up there right now.
Scully, I think this man died simply from a reaction to the cockroaches.
Two cases of anaphylactic shock in the same day in the same town is highly improbable.
No.
I'm saying that I think this man simply had a heart attack.
Word about the cockroach infestation and the deaths related to it has gotten out, and I think this man simply saw some cockroaches and scared himself to death.
- Regardless, Mulder, something strange is going on out there.
- Maybe not.
All your conjectures have proved correct.
The exterminator did die from anaphylactic shock.
The teenage boy did die from self-inflicted wounds and was getting high off methane fumes derived from burning manure.
The medical examiner did die from a brain aneurysm.
I still haven't been able to explain the cockroaches at all these sites.
Or the fact that their exoskeletons are made of metal.
Metal? What are you talking about? Mulder? Mulder, I'm coming up there.
Whatever.
- Can you tell what kind of cockroach it is? - I should be able to.
The abdomen's still attached, and we differentiate species by their genitalia.
- Oh, my God.
- Is it abnormal? I'll say.
He's hung like a club-tailed dragonfly.
Excuse me.
Does it still look unusual? Well, yes, for an insect genitalia, but maybe not for a microprocessor.
You're implying that this insect is mechanical? What am I supposed to be looking at here? Have you ever seen anything like this before? Only in science journals.
I've read about an artificial intelligence researcher who designs robots that resemble and behave like insects.
I've never seen them myself, but I've often thought of visiting his lab.
He works out of this town? - Doctor Ivanov? - Why are you scaring my robots? For decades, my colleagues in artificial intelligence have attempted to create an autonomous robot.
By struggling to give their machines a human-like brain, they have failed.
A human brain is too complex, too computational.
It thinks too much.
But insects merely react.
I use insects as my model, not just in design but by giving them the simplest of computer programs.
"Go to the object.
Go away from moving object.
" Governed only by sensors and reflex responses, they take on the behavior of intelligent living beings.
So this one is just programmed to head towards any object moving within the field of its sensors? No.
Then why is it following me? It likes you.
Your contract is with NASA? The goal is to transport a fleet of robots to another planet and allow them to navigate the terrain with more intricacy than any space probe has done before.
It sounds slightly fantastic, but the only obstacle I can foresee is devising a renewable energy source.
In any case, this is the future of space exploration.
It does not include living entities.
I'm just speculating here, but if extraterrestrial life-forms do exist- Oh, there's no need for speculation.
I believe they do.
And assuming that they're more technologically advanced than we are, and if your own ideas about the future of space exploration are correct, then- Then the interplanetary explorers of alien civilizations will likely be mechanical in nature.
Yes.
Anyone who thinks alien visitation will come not in the form of robots, but of living beings with big eyes and gray skin has been brainwashed by too much science fiction.
- Can you identify this? - I'm not really good with bugs.
- A cricket's leg? - Try it under the microscope.
Are you all right, Dr.
Ivanov? Can you identify that? Sir? It's beyond my comprehension.
Hey, kid, move it! Gimme that! Back off, buddy! Get it! Hurry up! - Get your own! - I saw it first! Hey, what are you, crazy? Why are you stopping? Hey, you idiot, you hit me! We gotta get outta here! Excuse me, do you sell road maps? - Could you tell me where they are? - Come on, hurry up! - What's going on here? - Havent you heard about the roaches? They're devouring people whole.
Everybody's getting the hell out of here.
Have you seen any cockroaches yourself? - No, but they're everywhere.
- Roaches aren't attacking people, lady.
They're spreading the Ebola virus.
Look, keep the change.
- We're all gonna be bleeding from our nipples! - All right.
All right, listen up! I'm Agent Dana Scully from the Federal Bureau of Investigation.
I am assuring you that you are not in any danger.
Everything is gonna be okay if you just calm down and start acting rationally.
Now, where the hell are those road maps? Hey! This last can is mine! Roaches! Well, Doctor, I, uh, I appreciate you taking the time to answer my questions.
Yeah.
Greetings from planet Earth.
Well, it's a cockroach, all right.
It's not like the leg segment you had me examine earlier.
- Its just a typical cockroach.
- Even the Yes, even the genitalia is normal.
Cockroaches are common in this area at this time of year.
It's one of the reasons I set up my study here.
- Mulder.
- Mulder, this town is insane.
- Where are you? - I'm in a convenience store on the outskirts of, uh civilization.
Look, I think I may have a lead.
Remember that Dr.
Eckerle who was the alternative fuel researcher that witnessed the exterminator's death? Well, the fuel that he's researching is methane gas.
Methane derived from manure.
- Manure? - He has an import license to bring in animal dung samples from outside the country.
Now, maybe you can confirm this with your Dr.
Bambi, but I think that cockroaches are dung-eaters.
And if so, some of them may have been shipped accidentally in some of the samples.
This fuel research facility could be ground zero for the infestation.
Scully, if an alien civilization were technologically advanced enough to build and send artificially intelligent robotic probes to the farthest reaches of space, might they not have also been able to perfect the extraction of methane fuel from manure, an abundant and replenishing energy source on a planet filled with dung-producing creatures? Mulder, I think youve been in this town too long.
Where's the research facility located? Wait, Bambi.
You better wait here until I make sure it's safe.
Be careful.
We still don't know what these cockroaches are capable of, if theyre even cockroaches.
I'm not so much worried about the cockroaches as I am about the human element.
Dr.
Eckerle? They're after me.
First at my house, then at the motel, and then I came here to get away, but they're following me.
You're not in any danger.
These insects won't harm you.
- I've seen them kill two men.
- They werent responsible for those deaths, but they might be responsible for ours if you continue firing your gun in a plant full of methane gas.
Dont you understand? The bugs.
They drive me crazy.
Let me guess.
Bambi.
Fox told me to wait out here while he checked inside first.
Should I come along with you? No.
This is no place for an entomologist.
- Why are these roaches making those weird noises? In Madagascar, they have roaches that hiss by blowing air through the holes in their upper thorax.
Really? How do you know so much about them? I don't.
That's why we shouldn't kill these, but capture them for further study.
Now, please.
Put the gun down.
- Have I lost my mind? - No.
Youve just had a very stressful day that's affected your ability to think clearly.
Your judgment is a little clouded right now.
It is? Then how do I know that you're not a cockroach? Mulder! Mulder! I assure you, Dr.
Eckerle, I'm just as human as you are, if not more so.
You are one of them! - Mulder! - Get out, Scully! This whole place could blow! Get down! Crap.
It's like a crematorium in there.
I don't think were gonna locate the doctor's remains.
- Or anything else.
- Still, it's not as bad as some of the other fires - we had last night.
- There were others? Four, to be exact, plus 18 automobile accidents, Two stores were looted.
Thirty-six injuries all total, half of them from insecticide poisoning.
But we didn't receive reports on cockroaches or otherwise for the last couple of hours.
Maybe this town's finally come to its senses.
You two ought to go home and get some rest.
You look pooped.
Agent Mulder! They told me I could locate you here.
Those segments you showed me earlier, may I examine them again? Well, they're completely desiccated, just like the molted exoskeleton.
You know, many insects don't develop wings until their last molting stage.
Perhaps whatever these things were, they had their final molt and have flown off back to wherever they originated.
Yeah, that would explain everything.
May I borrow this, Agent Mulder, for further study? I've already had a similar sample analyzed.
It's nothing but common metals.
What do you hope to find from it? His destiny.
Isn't that what Dr.
Zaius said to Zira at the end of The Planet of the Apes? It's one of my favorite movies.
Mine too.
I love science fiction.
I'm also fascinated by your research.
Have you ever considered programming the robots to mimic the behavior of social insects like ants or bees? As a matter of fact, I have.
You know, I read in November of'94 in Entomology Extreme- - Oh, I remember that.
- Your article about colonization- Yes, I really enjoyed writing that.
Smart is sexy.
Well, think of it this way, Mulder.
By the time there's another invasion of artificially intelligent dung-eating robotic probes from outer space, maybe their uber-children will have devised a way to save our planet.
You know, I never thought I'd say this to you, Scully, but you smell bad.
"The development of our cerebral cortex "has been the greatest achievement of the evolutionary processes.
" Big deal.
While allowing us the thrills of intellect "and the pangs of self-consciousness, "it is all too often overruled by our inner instinctive brain, "the one that tells us to react, not reflect, "to run rather than ruminate.
" Maybe we have gone as far as we can go, "and the next advance, whatever that may be, "will be made by beings we create ourselves, using our own tech- "tech- "technology.
"Life-forms we can design and program "not to be ultimately governed and constricted by the rules of survival.
"Or perhaps that step forward has already been achieved on another planet "by organisms that had a billion years head start on us.
"If these beings ever visited us, "would we recognize what we were seeing? "And upon catching sight of us, would they react in anything but horror at seeing such mindless, primitive, hideous creatures?"
Believed to have originated in the Silurian period over 350 million years ago.
They can be found in every part of the world, from the tropics to the arctic.
There exists and in a year, a single female can produce over half a million descendants.
Radiation doesn't kill them.
By evolutionary standards, they are nearly flawless creatures, but creatures nevertheless.
Possessing only a simple nervous system, their behavior is dictated solely by responses to environmental stimuli.
Unlike us, they are incapable of thought, of self-illumination.
Compared to the roach, we are gods and must therefore act accordingly.
Is it true if you decapitate them, they continue to live, eventually dying of starvation? Look, buddy, I just kill 'em.
Well, that's why I called you.
I thought that nowadays you froze the insects to death.
Freeze them? Where's the fun in that? No, we got a new pesticide that works like a fungus.
It not only kills the infected roach, but that roach then spreads the disease to every other roach it comes into contact with.
Well, just as long as you, uh, get rid of them.
Bugs- I don't know.
They drive me crazy.
Why, you arrogant little- I forgot to tell you I also found a roach on- - Mulder.
- Where have you been? I've been trying to reach you.
My apartment complex was being fumigated, so I thought I'd get away for the weekend.
I came up to Massachusetts.
- Visiting your mother? - No, just, uh, sitting and thinking.
Widespread accounts of unidentified colored lights hovering in the skies were reported in this area last night.
Look, Scully, I know it's not your inclination, but did you ever look up into the night sky and feel certain that not only was something up there, but it was looking down on you at that exact same moment and was just as curious about you as you are about it? Mulder, I think the only thing more fortuitous than the emergence of life on this planet is that, through purely random laws of biological evolution, an intelligence as complex as ours ever emanated from it.
The very idea of intelligent alien life is not only astronomically improbable, but, at it's most basic level, downright anti-Darwinian.
Scully, what are you wearing? I understand what youre saying, but I, I just need to keep looking.
Yeah, well, don't look too hard.
You might not like what you find.
Isn't that what Dr.
Zaius said to Charlton Heston at the end of Planet of the Apes? And look what happened.
- Scully, I got to go.
- What? Mulder, what's going on? Mulder.
How you doing? What are you doing? - Just sitting, thinking.
- Sitting and thinking? And talking on the phone? Who with, your drug dealer? Let me see some I.
D.
The Bureau? You on a case? I heard reports of several U.
F.
O.
sightings in this area last night.
You see anything? No, sir, not personally.
But we did receive a lot of telephone calls.
- Any more calls tonight? - No, sir.
The F.
B.
I.
keeps tabs on these things? No.
Excuse me, sir, I don't like to pry, but why are you sitting here with your wiper blades on? Oh, I was just knocking off some bugs that landed on my- - Landed on my windshield.
- Cockroaches? Maybe.
Maybe beetles.
I don't know.
I'm not really good with bugs.
This is dispatch.
Come in.
Over.
- Sorry to disturb you, sir.
- What's the matter? Another roach attack.
- Hello? - I think you better get up here.
- What is it? - It appears that cockroaches are mortally attacking people.
I'm not gonna ask you if you just said what I think you just said because I know it's what you just said.
I'm crouching over a bug exterminator whose recently deceased body was discovered with cockroaches crawling all over him.
The local sheriff says that two other bodies were found in the same condition this afternoon.
- Where are you again? - Miller's Grove.
It has a large science constituency.
The other incidents involved a molecular biologist and an astrophysicist, and the witness to this case is an alternative fuel researcher.
These reports are not coming from yahoos out in the boondocks.
The image of those cockroaches has been permanently imprinted onto my brain.
I see them every time I close my eyes.
Try not to close your eyes.
How am I gonna sleep? And where? I'm certainly not spending the night here.
Maybe you could get a motel room or something.
- Were there insect bites on the body? - Insect bites? - No.
- No.
'Cause you know, millions of people are actually allergic to cockroaches.
There have been reported cases of fatal reactions.
It's called, uh, anaphylactic shock.
- Anaphylactic shock? - Mm-hmm.
Many such reactions have occurred to entomologists or exterminators.
- Okay, we'll check that out.
- You still want me to come up? No, no, no.
I'm sure youre right.
Thanks, Scully.
- Who was that? - My drug dealer.
Dude, that's some good crap.
Come on, it's your hoot.
Um, I don't know about this, you guys.
You really ought to, you know.
Try it.
This stuff takes your mind and just sort of, you know, expands it.
Well, something tells me it's more than my mind you guys are interested in expanding.
Well, how about another beer then? - Okay.
- I don't know.
I think youre making a mistake here.
Beer is just, you know, beer.
But this stuff, it, like, swings the doors of perception so wide open, you can see whole 'nother world out there.
But it's still like this world, you know.
It tweaks your mind and does this whole altered state thing to it.
And suddenly, you see reality as it, you know, really exists.
- Oh, God.
- Dude, what's wrong, man? Oh, God! Roaches! - Dude, you're freaking, man! - Roaches! Cockroaches! - What's the matter, man? - What? Stay.
Hello.
- I take it back, Scully.
I think you better get up here.
- Another roach attack? Yeah, and this was no allergic reaction.
Two witnesses claim they saw the victim screaming about cockroaches burrowing into him.
Are there still insects in the body? We haven't located any yet, but there are wounds all over the body.
From the cockroaches? Well, the victim did attempt to extract the insects using a razor blade, but we're not sure all of the incisions are self-inflicted, except for the severed artery.
Was there any evidence of drug use at the crime scene? Uh, well, he did have a homemade lab set up, but I'm not sure what he was producing.
Aw, man! Smells like a septic tank! Would you make sure this gets analyzed here? You know, Mulder, there's a psychotic disorder associated with some forms of drug abuse where the abuser suffers from delusions that insects are infesting their epidermis.
- It's called Ekbom's Syndrome.
- Ekbom's Syndrome? The victim cuts himself in an attempt to extract the imaginary insect.
You still want me to come up? No.
You're probably right.
I'm sorry to bother you.
It's no bother.
Bye.
Hey! Kids are brain-dead.
I couldn't get anything out of them.
What about some urine? For a drug test.
- Did you get it? - Get me a container.
Oh, I think I killed it.
You killed it? You annihilated it.
It must have molted.
Its just empty exoskeleton.
Well, at least we have evidence that cockroaches were actually here.
We've got more than that, Sheriff.
I think that bug's exoskeleton was made of metal.
Nothing more than a skin abrasion.
An abrasion caused by a metallic substance? Why don't we wait until the analysis of the compound is finished before jumping to any conclusions? Uh, Agent Mulder, as a doctor, I always find it best to be completely honest and open with my patients, no matter how unpleasant the information.
What do you need to tell me? No.
I need you to tell me something.
What the hell is going on here? Wha- - Are we in any danger? - I don't know.
- Well, should I evacuate my family? - I wouldn't know.
Doc, they're waiting for you to examine the boy's body.
Yeah, uh, as soon I take a little break.
After talking with Agent Mulder here, I suddenly feel slightly constipated.
- What's his problem? - He's upset that I don't know what's going on here.
So what the hell is going on here? I see the correlation, but just because I work for the federal government doesn't mean I'm an expert on cockroaches.
So you don't know anything about the government's experiments - being conducted here? - Experiments? A couple of months ago, an agent claiming to be from the Department of Agriculture sets up base on a couple of acres across town.
Nobody knows exactly what's going on out there.
- It's top secret, very hush-hush.
- What are you suggesting? Killer bees were a genetic experiment gone awry, let loose on an unsuspecting populace.
Who's to say the government hasn't created a new breed of killer cockroaches? You might want to keep that theory to yourself, Sheriff.
No need to create a panic.
Oh!Oh, my God! Help! Somebody help! Hey! What the hell happened? Cockroaches.
He was covered in cockroaches.
- I don't see any roaches.
- When I went out to look for help and I came back, they disappeared.
Gently.
Gently.
Hmm.
Doesn't appear odd in any- Ooh! Next time, let me handle the roaches.
- Who died now? - The medical examiner.
His body was found next to a toilet, covered with roaches.
- I really think you should come- - A toilet? Check his eyes.
Is one of them bloodshot with a dilated pupil? - Yeah.
- Well, it's probably a brain aneurysm.
- Brain aneurysm? - Straining too forcefully is very common causation for bursting a brain aneurysm.
Well, how do you explain the roaches though? - Did you catch any? - Almost.
I don't know what to tell you, Mulder.
I just hope youre not implying you've come across an infestation of killer cockroaches.
- Mulder.
- Mulder? I've been doing some research.
Back in the mid -'80s, there was a cockroach species previously only found in Asia, and since then, it's made an appearance in Florida.
They've now completely established themselves in this country.
- Do they attack people? - No, but they exhibit behavior different than domestic breeds.
They fly for long distances, and they're attracted to light.
- But do they attack people? - I'm suggesting that what's happening out there might be the introduction to this country of a new species of cockroach, - one that is attracted to people.
- That all makes perfect sense, Scully.
I don't like it at all.
Did you know that the federal government, under the guise of the Department of Agriculture, has been conducting secret experiments up here? You're not thinking about trespassing onto government property again, are you? I know that youve done it in the past, but I don't think that this case warrants- It's too late.
I'm already inside.
Well, what's going on? What do you see? I'm in a house.
It's apparently empty.
- What does the place look like? - It's a, uh typical two-story suburban house.
Nice big living room, sparsely furnished.
Nice carpets, fireplace.
Nice kitchen.
Modern appliances.
- Moving walls.
- Moving walls? Yeah.
They're rippling.
Oh! Cockroaches! - What? - Cockroaches.
They're everywhere.
Ah! I'm surrounded! Mulder, you've got to get out of there right now.
- Nooo! - Are you all right? What happened? Flashlight went out.
Mulder, what's going on? Gotta go.
Mulder! Mulder! May I ask why you're trespassing on government property? - I'm a federal agent.
- So am I.
Agent Mulder, F.
B.
I.
Doctor Berenbaum, U.
S.
D.
A.
Agricultural Research Service.
Doctor Berenbaum, I'm going to have to ask you a few questions.
For instance? What's a woman like you doing in a place like this? By studying how insects respond to changes in light, temperature, air currents, food availability, we can determine the best ways to eradicate them.
Why all the secrecy about your research? You've got some of the good townspeople suspicious.
You expect us to advertise that we've intentionally infested a house in their neighborhood with thousands of cockroaches? But those, those cockroaches, are they a normal species? They're a common one.
Have you ever come across a type of cockroach that is attracted to people? Most cockroaches have been known to actually wash themselves - after being touched by humans.
- Really.
So youve never seen an instance where a cockroach actually attacks a human being? There have been cases where a cockroach has crawled into a person's ear or nose.
Nose? What is that there? Oh, its just a pet project of mine.
Since an insect's exoskeleton is a dielectric surrounding the conductive medium of its body fluid, when introduced into an electrical field, the brushed discharge will result in a colored fare.
What is that supposed to prove? Well, it's my theory that U.
F.
O.
's are actually insect swarms.
I don't know if you know anything about U.
F.
O.
's, but all the characteristics of a typical sighting are shared with nocturnal insects swarming through an electrical air field.
The sudden appearance of a colored, glowing light hovering in the night sky, moving in a nonmechanical matter, possibly humming, creating interference with radio and television signals, then suddenly disappearing.
As, uh, nocturnal insect swarms, that's, uh, that's fascinating.
Everything about insects is fascinating.
They are truly remarkable creatures.
- So beautiful and so honest.
- Honest? Eat, sleep, defecate, procreate.
That's all they do.
That's all we do, but at least insects don't kid themselves that it's anything more than that.
Does my scientific detachment disturb you? No.
No, actually, I, I find it quite refreshing.
Not now.
You know, um- I have always found insects to be very interesting.
Really? This is the fifth report of a deceased body being found amongst a horde of cockroaches, but police are not confirming, at least not yet, that the insects have anything to do with the fatalities.
Police have also disaffirmed the rumor that these deaths were the result of an outbreak of the Ebola virus somehow being spread by infected cockroaches.
As for now, these incidents remain under local jurisdiction, but a nurse here did confirm that an F.
B.
I.
agent is on the case.
Police are asking that if you see any cockroaches, don't panic.
Simply notify the local authorities and evacuate the area immediately.
Reporting live, this is Skye Leikin for Channel Three, Night watch News.
Then suddenly, there was this terrible crash.
You know, you could've been killed.
Mulder, are you okay? - I can't sleep.
- What happened at the U.
S.
D.
A.
site? They're conducting legitimate experiments.
I met an entomologist, Dr.
Berenbaum, who agrees with your theory of an accidental importation of a new cockroach species.
Did he give you any idea of how to catch them? No.
But she did tell me everything else there is to know about insects.
- She? - Yeah.
Did you know that the ancient Egyptians worshipped the scarab beetle and possibly erected the pyramids to honor them, which may just be giant symbolic dung heaps? Did you know the inventor of the flush toilet was named Thomas Crapper? - Bambi also has this theory I've never come acro- - Who? - Dr.
Berenbaum.
Anyway, her theory is- - Her name is Bambi? Yeah.
Both her parents were naturalists.
Her theory is that U.
F.
O.
's are actually nocturnal insect swarms passing through electrical air fields.
- Her name is Bambi? - Scully, can I confess something to you? Yeah, sure, okay.
I hate insects.
You know, lots of people are afraid of insects, Mulder.
Its just a- It's a natural, instinctive- No, no, I'm not afraid of them.
I hate them.
One day back when I was a kid, I was, uh, I was climbing this tree when I noticed this leaf walking towards me.
It took forever to realize that it was no leaf.
- A praying mantis? - Yeah, I had a praying mantis epiphany.
And as a result, I screamed.
No, not a girlie scream, but the scream of someone being confronted by some before unknown monster that had no right existing on the same planet I inhabited.
Did you ever notice how a praying mantis' head resembles an alien's head? The mysteries of the natural world were revealed to me that day, but instead of being astounded, I was - repulsed.
- Mulder, are you sure it wasn't a girlie scream? What was that? - Oh, I got to go.
- Mul- No- Ohh! - Did you hear that too? - Came from over there.
What the hell's going on? Hello? Is everything all right in there? Don't go in there, man! What happened this time? One of the motel guests died.
Mulder, I'm coming up there right now.
Scully, I think this man died simply from a reaction to the cockroaches.
Two cases of anaphylactic shock in the same day in the same town is highly improbable.
No.
I'm saying that I think this man simply had a heart attack.
Word about the cockroach infestation and the deaths related to it has gotten out, and I think this man simply saw some cockroaches and scared himself to death.
- Regardless, Mulder, something strange is going on out there.
- Maybe not.
All your conjectures have proved correct.
The exterminator did die from anaphylactic shock.
The teenage boy did die from self-inflicted wounds and was getting high off methane fumes derived from burning manure.
The medical examiner did die from a brain aneurysm.
I still haven't been able to explain the cockroaches at all these sites.
Or the fact that their exoskeletons are made of metal.
Metal? What are you talking about? Mulder? Mulder, I'm coming up there.
Whatever.
- Can you tell what kind of cockroach it is? - I should be able to.
The abdomen's still attached, and we differentiate species by their genitalia.
- Oh, my God.
- Is it abnormal? I'll say.
He's hung like a club-tailed dragonfly.
Excuse me.
Does it still look unusual? Well, yes, for an insect genitalia, but maybe not for a microprocessor.
You're implying that this insect is mechanical? What am I supposed to be looking at here? Have you ever seen anything like this before? Only in science journals.
I've read about an artificial intelligence researcher who designs robots that resemble and behave like insects.
I've never seen them myself, but I've often thought of visiting his lab.
He works out of this town? - Doctor Ivanov? - Why are you scaring my robots? For decades, my colleagues in artificial intelligence have attempted to create an autonomous robot.
By struggling to give their machines a human-like brain, they have failed.
A human brain is too complex, too computational.
It thinks too much.
But insects merely react.
I use insects as my model, not just in design but by giving them the simplest of computer programs.
"Go to the object.
Go away from moving object.
" Governed only by sensors and reflex responses, they take on the behavior of intelligent living beings.
So this one is just programmed to head towards any object moving within the field of its sensors? No.
Then why is it following me? It likes you.
Your contract is with NASA? The goal is to transport a fleet of robots to another planet and allow them to navigate the terrain with more intricacy than any space probe has done before.
It sounds slightly fantastic, but the only obstacle I can foresee is devising a renewable energy source.
In any case, this is the future of space exploration.
It does not include living entities.
I'm just speculating here, but if extraterrestrial life-forms do exist- Oh, there's no need for speculation.
I believe they do.
And assuming that they're more technologically advanced than we are, and if your own ideas about the future of space exploration are correct, then- Then the interplanetary explorers of alien civilizations will likely be mechanical in nature.
Yes.
Anyone who thinks alien visitation will come not in the form of robots, but of living beings with big eyes and gray skin has been brainwashed by too much science fiction.
- Can you identify this? - I'm not really good with bugs.
- A cricket's leg? - Try it under the microscope.
Are you all right, Dr.
Ivanov? Can you identify that? Sir? It's beyond my comprehension.
Hey, kid, move it! Gimme that! Back off, buddy! Get it! Hurry up! - Get your own! - I saw it first! Hey, what are you, crazy? Why are you stopping? Hey, you idiot, you hit me! We gotta get outta here! Excuse me, do you sell road maps? - Could you tell me where they are? - Come on, hurry up! - What's going on here? - Havent you heard about the roaches? They're devouring people whole.
Everybody's getting the hell out of here.
Have you seen any cockroaches yourself? - No, but they're everywhere.
- Roaches aren't attacking people, lady.
They're spreading the Ebola virus.
Look, keep the change.
- We're all gonna be bleeding from our nipples! - All right.
All right, listen up! I'm Agent Dana Scully from the Federal Bureau of Investigation.
I am assuring you that you are not in any danger.
Everything is gonna be okay if you just calm down and start acting rationally.
Now, where the hell are those road maps? Hey! This last can is mine! Roaches! Well, Doctor, I, uh, I appreciate you taking the time to answer my questions.
Yeah.
Greetings from planet Earth.
Well, it's a cockroach, all right.
It's not like the leg segment you had me examine earlier.
- Its just a typical cockroach.
- Even the Yes, even the genitalia is normal.
Cockroaches are common in this area at this time of year.
It's one of the reasons I set up my study here.
- Mulder.
- Mulder, this town is insane.
- Where are you? - I'm in a convenience store on the outskirts of, uh civilization.
Look, I think I may have a lead.
Remember that Dr.
Eckerle who was the alternative fuel researcher that witnessed the exterminator's death? Well, the fuel that he's researching is methane gas.
Methane derived from manure.
- Manure? - He has an import license to bring in animal dung samples from outside the country.
Now, maybe you can confirm this with your Dr.
Bambi, but I think that cockroaches are dung-eaters.
And if so, some of them may have been shipped accidentally in some of the samples.
This fuel research facility could be ground zero for the infestation.
Scully, if an alien civilization were technologically advanced enough to build and send artificially intelligent robotic probes to the farthest reaches of space, might they not have also been able to perfect the extraction of methane fuel from manure, an abundant and replenishing energy source on a planet filled with dung-producing creatures? Mulder, I think youve been in this town too long.
Where's the research facility located? Wait, Bambi.
You better wait here until I make sure it's safe.
Be careful.
We still don't know what these cockroaches are capable of, if theyre even cockroaches.
I'm not so much worried about the cockroaches as I am about the human element.
Dr.
Eckerle? They're after me.
First at my house, then at the motel, and then I came here to get away, but they're following me.
You're not in any danger.
These insects won't harm you.
- I've seen them kill two men.
- They werent responsible for those deaths, but they might be responsible for ours if you continue firing your gun in a plant full of methane gas.
Dont you understand? The bugs.
They drive me crazy.
Let me guess.
Bambi.
Fox told me to wait out here while he checked inside first.
Should I come along with you? No.
This is no place for an entomologist.
- Why are these roaches making those weird noises? In Madagascar, they have roaches that hiss by blowing air through the holes in their upper thorax.
Really? How do you know so much about them? I don't.
That's why we shouldn't kill these, but capture them for further study.
Now, please.
Put the gun down.
- Have I lost my mind? - No.
Youve just had a very stressful day that's affected your ability to think clearly.
Your judgment is a little clouded right now.
It is? Then how do I know that you're not a cockroach? Mulder! Mulder! I assure you, Dr.
Eckerle, I'm just as human as you are, if not more so.
You are one of them! - Mulder! - Get out, Scully! This whole place could blow! Get down! Crap.
It's like a crematorium in there.
I don't think were gonna locate the doctor's remains.
- Or anything else.
- Still, it's not as bad as some of the other fires - we had last night.
- There were others? Four, to be exact, plus 18 automobile accidents, Two stores were looted.
Thirty-six injuries all total, half of them from insecticide poisoning.
But we didn't receive reports on cockroaches or otherwise for the last couple of hours.
Maybe this town's finally come to its senses.
You two ought to go home and get some rest.
You look pooped.
Agent Mulder! They told me I could locate you here.
Those segments you showed me earlier, may I examine them again? Well, they're completely desiccated, just like the molted exoskeleton.
You know, many insects don't develop wings until their last molting stage.
Perhaps whatever these things were, they had their final molt and have flown off back to wherever they originated.
Yeah, that would explain everything.
May I borrow this, Agent Mulder, for further study? I've already had a similar sample analyzed.
It's nothing but common metals.
What do you hope to find from it? His destiny.
Isn't that what Dr.
Zaius said to Zira at the end of The Planet of the Apes? It's one of my favorite movies.
Mine too.
I love science fiction.
I'm also fascinated by your research.
Have you ever considered programming the robots to mimic the behavior of social insects like ants or bees? As a matter of fact, I have.
You know, I read in November of'94 in Entomology Extreme- - Oh, I remember that.
- Your article about colonization- Yes, I really enjoyed writing that.
Smart is sexy.
Well, think of it this way, Mulder.
By the time there's another invasion of artificially intelligent dung-eating robotic probes from outer space, maybe their uber-children will have devised a way to save our planet.
You know, I never thought I'd say this to you, Scully, but you smell bad.
"The development of our cerebral cortex "has been the greatest achievement of the evolutionary processes.
" Big deal.
While allowing us the thrills of intellect "and the pangs of self-consciousness, "it is all too often overruled by our inner instinctive brain, "the one that tells us to react, not reflect, "to run rather than ruminate.
" Maybe we have gone as far as we can go, "and the next advance, whatever that may be, "will be made by beings we create ourselves, using our own tech- "tech- "technology.
"Life-forms we can design and program "not to be ultimately governed and constricted by the rules of survival.
"Or perhaps that step forward has already been achieved on another planet "by organisms that had a billion years head start on us.
"If these beings ever visited us, "would we recognize what we were seeing? "And upon catching sight of us, would they react in anything but horror at seeing such mindless, primitive, hideous creatures?"