800 Words (2015) s03e13 Episode Script

1 Eugh! Both Lindsay and Poppy will be suspended until further notice.
What? Poppy was trying to defend herself.
How is that boy of yours? Not currently my favourite person, to be honest.
It's a pity he wasn't exactly honest with my girl when he had two birds on the go, eh? I'm sure he never meant it to work out that way.
That'd be right.
Nothing to do with the Turners.
You don't need to go surfing to talk to George.
I can't just rock up to his house for no reason and say "Oh, sorry George for the harsh words yesterday.
" No, we need to go surfing first.
[PULSING MUSIC.]
Mate.
Mate.
Looking pretty good.
Yeah.
Best head out there then, eh? Wait, wait.
Let's get this out in the open, eh? Your kids are your kids.
You two are you two.
Friends.
Woody, I'm sorry we had words.
Yeah, look, I'm sorry, too.
Sorry I took it out on you when it was Arlo's fault.
Well, Arlo got confused, as teenage boys do, and didn't handle it very well.
Well, I don't think he got confused, to be fair.
Just a bit greedy.
Hold on.
- To be fair? - Yeah.
In what way is what you've just said, fair? - Guys, shall we um - Just talking the truth, George.
Well, I think we'll have to agree to disagree and move on.
Yeah.
I mean, you would think that, because you're not at home with a broken-hearted daughter, are you? No, I'm at home with a teenage son who feels miserable about what happened when actually, you know, it takes two.
What's that? Well, Poppy knew that Arlo had a girlfriend.
Oh! You did not just say that.
- I'm going in.
Anyone else? - I'm just making the point that Arlo didn't get into trouble like this on his own.
You can't blame my Poppy for his two-timing like she's what? - Some sort of hussy? - You're right.
I didn't say that.
You know what, Hannah, I'm not really feeling surfy.
No, away you go.
I'm leaving.
- No, 'cause I said I was leaving first.
- No, I'm walking away.
I am walking away faster, mate! [THEME MUSIC.]
"True friends are part of the glue that holds life together.
" I found this among the millions of frothy sentimental quotes online about friendship.
There aren't quite so many quotes about the moment when that glue loses its stick.
KATIE: George! Green smoothies are ready.
ARLO: I find coconut water quite strong.
It's such a cleanser, and you want your brain synapsing.
SHAY: Dad, is there anything good to eat? Oh, Shay, here's something good for you and your brain can go for a little walk around the block.
Shut up.
I haven't been sleeping, OK? Why is that? It doesn't help that your ex is at my place, eating everything, contributing nothing.
Mmm.
Sounds like someone else I know.
- How's work going? - I'm not sure.
- What's it about? - A celebratory ode to friendship.
Oh, honey.
Woody will get over himself sooner or later.
No, you drove her to us with your two-timing.
Stop it guys and drink your smoothies.
Lindsay might be a pinhead, but she gets top marks for creative revenge.
How to watch my back and my front.
Whatever she's planning, it can't be worse than the hell I'm living through right now.
It's OK, Arlo, you made a mistake.
We all do that.
Oh, from two girlfriends to no girlfriends.
Poor you.
Shay, that's enough! - Should we go? - Yes, let's.
I haven't been to the movies for ages.
Not sure what you're expecting, Katie.
Yeah.
But I doubt it'll be 'Lord of the Rings'.
[LOW CONVERSATION.]
Nervous, George? No, why? Your big film-making debut.
It's just a promotional video.
It's more Big Mac's thing.
Oh, my god! - Isn't that? - It's Vince.
- Didn't you guys - Sh! That was one time, OK? It was once.
Twice if you count the next morning.
[GIGGLES.]
It was a rebound thing, OK? I wasn't thinking straight.
Don't make excuses, he is quite easy on the eye.
Welcome to our screening.
Now, I'm not going to bore you with an introduction, I'll let the film speak for itself.
So, sit back and enjoy our beautiful town.
[APPLAUSE.]
[WOLF WHISTLES.]
[UPBEAT MUSIC.]
[BIG MAC NARRATING.]
There's a little town tucked away down here in the South Pacific, Weld, the best kept secret On the clearest water, the tallest trees, landscapes which would have you believe you've stepped into a painting.
You can sleep in your beautiful rented batch with the windows thrown open, the doors For those of us lucky enough to call Weld home, we know there's no place like it on earth and we want to keep it that way.
Surf, sea, sand.
And we also have the finest, freshest cuisine, served by our friendly locals, locals who will make you more than welcome.
You'll become even friends.
For Weld is a town with no crime, the safest place on earth to spend time with us.
Welcome to the town formerly known as Weld but from now on to be known as the People's Republic of Weld.
We are no longer part of New Zealand or any other sovereign state.
We look forward to greeting you.
Now, some of you may be wondering why I have decided on behalf of all Weldians to declare our town a republic.
Some of you are probably thinking, Big Mac's finally lost it.
But I assure you, there is method to my madness.
There is rather a lot at stake.
There have been rumblings for quite some weeks now that Stafford are proposing a merger of our two councils.
Not on my watch, people.
Not on my watch.
Thank you, Sean.
It is unacceptable because when they say merger, it means takeover.
I don't want to be part of Stafford.
Like roosters who have failed their own nests now they want to come and poo in ours! Roosters don't have nests, Dad.
But we will not let that happen because we are Weld and we say, "No!" We are Weld and we say, "No!" [CHANTING.]
We are Weld and we say, "No.
" We are Weld and we say, "No.
" When the cracks are showing, maybe in a small town like this, a common enemy is what we need to glue us back together.
I will never be from Stafford.
Hear, hear, Bill.
[APPLAUSE.]
And another quote, "To find one true friend in a lifetime is good fortune," "to keep him is a blessing.
" You could try again.
Isn't there so many times I can say sorry? There's unlimited times until she forgives you.
Are you ever going to accept his apology or what? For which bit? The lying, the cheating, or making me the most hated girl at Weld High? Pops, you're not hated.
Look at her, squeaky little midget.
Free food, my goodness.
Yeah, there's like, nothing at home.
It sucks.
Please can she move out? So, this is how you plan to stop the takeover, this republic nonsense? It's not nonsense.
It's standing up for Weld, proud and independent.
Great show, Bill.
Thanks, Vince.
You to know each other? We do, very well.
We haven't seen each other For a couple of years.
You led the appeal against my development in Pirata.
I did.
And we won.
Or maybe I let you.
[LITTLE LAUGH.]
You're looking good, Fiona.
You look OK, as well.
Your hair is blonder.
Yours is shorter.
Trying to be more clean cut.
It suits you.
Vince, are you still on the Stafford City Council? Yeah, I certainly am, Bill.
Fiona, Vince is on the Stafford City Council, the council trying to take us over.
Yes, I know.
Excuse me.
Oh, for goodness sake! I thought that once I got them out into the surf everything would be OK.
Oh, look, they'll sort it out.
But when? George is a bit moody.
So is Woody.
Yeah, the problem with blokes is that they don't operate the way we do.
Bottle of wine, a hug, and a good cry and we're usually fine.
Yeah, I can't see the boys doing that.
[LAUGHS.]
So? What's the plan, then? I don't know.
We need to lock them in a room and not let them out until they've sorted it out.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- That's a really good idea.
We'd call it the 'Reconciliation Room'.
Oh, my god! We need one of those for our Year 10s.
[CHUCKLES.]
Stafford, the big council, the eternally broke council, wants to take over Weld, the efficient council So, every man, woman, man-woman, woman-man, whatever, needs to gird their loins ready for a fight.
We'll give them a paper wad to end all paper I'm leaving, Sean.
- Are you in labour? - No.
I'm going home to Mum's to be waited on hand and foot until this baby comes, and you are in charge of the Super Store.
But you can't do this, not when there's a revolution to be led.
Watch me.
[BANG.]
If it wasn't for this gut my exit would be swifter! Is this about Maxine? Oh, and how you brought her into the family home when I'm heavily pregnant and you knew how I'd feel? I want had gone, Sean, as soon as I come back with this baby and it's her or me.
- Brenda, please.
- Goodbye, Sean.
I'll call you when the contractions start.
[DOOR SLAMS.]
Maxine is an alpaca.
Oh Oh, OK.
We don't all have your womanising ways, Arlo.
You off somewhere? Ah, yeah.
Yeah, I just came in to say that well, I won't be in today.
No need to ask where you're going.
- Do you think it's her? - Aunt Hita? I know it is.
So, are you OK with me taking off? Any point trying to stop you? Oh, you've got the interns to help you.
That's not what I mean.
Look, I'm not going to die up there like great uncle Hemi, if that's what you're thinking.
- Your parents know you you're going? - Yeah, Mum is driving me up.
Well, I'm not going to argue with Ngahuia, am I? No.
Thanks.
- See you, George.
- See you.
[DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES.]
The silence of a good friend hurts a thousand times more than anything your enemy can say to you.
And good friends are in short supply these days.
A recent survey revealed that modern men have less than 1.
3 close friends.
So, if I'm losing one close friend, does that mean I only have .
3 of a close friend left? We need to do this properly, get a detailed submission to the council, organise the petition signed by the locals.
- She has a point.
- I don't have time for red tape.
We need to make a statement.
Isn't that what a petition does? We've already got hits on the website, we need to keep the ball rolling and elect a president.
Oh, you have to be kidding! I'm not a New Zealand citizen so Fiona, you're the woman for the job.
No! This is ridiculous! Fine, we'll have to change these, then.
Stafford East Boat Club.
Hi, Poppy.
Hi, George.
Well, at least she's still speaking to me even if her father's not.
Woody will come round.
He's just being a protective dad.
[MOBILE RINGS.]
Eugh! Trish, Laura's mum.
Is it bad avoiding the in-laws? Wish I could avoid mine so easily.
Mmm.
No, they're drains, not manholes.
You have to scan that manually.
Fruit and veggies, you enter it into the till manually.
I'll call you back.
There is no barcode on fresh produce.
[SIGHS.]
I should be at the Council you know, saving Weld.
Do you know how much this is? Brenda puts in a look-up code thingy.
I think it's there.
She's really left me in the lurch.
You could hire someone.
I can't be replaced.
Some of my workers are competent but none of them have the leadership and abilities required for battle.
I mean you could hire someone for here.
Oh! Yeah, that makes sense.
I'll do it.
[PHONE RINGS.]
G'day, mate.
Hey listen, I need you to come down to the Cop Shop please, mate.
I've got a bit of an urgent job for you.
The window in the cell is busted.
OK.
Yep, alright, I'm coming.
[MOBILE RINGS.]
- Hello? - Hey, George, listen, I need you to come down to the police station, please.
Well, what's going on? - I'll explain when you get here.
- OK.
I'm just heading out for a few minutes.
I'm leaving you two in charge.
[MUSIC COMING FROM HEADPHONES.]
I'm going out.
You two are in charge.
Oh, wicked! If anyone calls, just take a message.
If anyone comes in Take a message.
We get it.
[MUSIC COMING FROM HEADPHONES.]
[EERIE MUSIC.]
Mum? [TYRES SCREECH.]
[GASPS.]
Are you alright? Hey, are you OK? Sorry, I wasn't even [CAR DOOR CLOSES AND ENGINES STARTS.]
Oh, my god! Hey, come on.
Jump in, we'll We'll give you a lift.
I thought it was Mum.
I was sure it was her.
But when she turned around it was so weird.
It can be disorientating when your mind does that, eh? It's my mind doing it? What else would it be? I dunno.
I've been having these dreams, too, and I really don't know why they've started.
Hey, what are you doing now? Nothing, really.
I'm heading for a walk in the bush.
Do you want to come? Why? I think you might find the answers you need.
Yeah, right.
Hey, if you don't, getting out in the fresh air never hurts, when your mind needs clearing.
Hey, mate, thanks for coming so fast.
That's got to be a record.
When the boys in blue call on you, you'd better respond.
Or the girl in blue.
Hey, so, it's just in there.
- Oh, OK.
- Mm-hm.
Hannah, there's no window in here.
[BANG.]
I'm really sorry but this is for your own good.
What? Hey? Hannah! Hey, what do I do? - Thanks for coming, George.
- What's going on? You've actually got an unpaid parking ticket.
What, I don't know anything about a parking ticket? Oh it's OK, I'll explain it when we get inside.
[SIGHS.]
[HUMS.]
Hey, have you seen our little cell room? - No.
- Come check it out.
- Hey! - [BANG.]
Hey! Hannah, what are you doing? Come on, is this a bloody joke or something? Welcome to the 'Reconciliation Room', boys.
I'm not letting you out until you reconcile.
- Hang on, I got things I need to do.
- Yeah, me too.
If the best bromance in Weld is broken, wow, something is not right in the world.
So, sort it out.
Hannah! - Hannah, come on! - Hey! Hannah! [DOOR SHUTS.]
- Hello.
- Yeah.
You know what, stuff it.
I'm just going to call Trace.
- Isn't that your phone there? - Yeah.
- Bugger.
- Have you got yours on you? Yeah, it's in my bag.
Take this.
It can get cold up there.
Thank you.
Good luck, my son.
I'll take care.
Good luck? What kind of a bushwalk is this? I'm sort of looking for something.
[ENGINE STARTS.]
Come on.
The dreams are different from the ones she's usually in where I wake up and I'm smiling because it's good to see her.
In these one's something is wrong.
She's crying.
Do you think she's trying to tell you something? Maybe they're just dreams.
Maybe it's my own guilt.
What do you feel guilty about? I don't know.
Getting to a place where I'm happy.
Maybe Mum is like, "How can you be happy when I'm not here?" You really think she'd feel like that? No, of course not.
It's just weird, that's all.
Hey, you want to know something weirder? I came out here today to finish my quest, if that's what it's called.
And you invited me.
Yeah.
Told you it sounded crazy.
"I need to do this alone, Shay.
" "I can't do this with you, Shay.
" I know, but today I was on my way here and then you were there, right in front of me.
Maybe Laura led you there deliberately.
Yep.
I know.
I know.
It sounds a bit mental but hey, my mum always says, "Nothing happens by accident.
" Shall we keep going? Yeah.
Let's get this thing done.
And what exactly is the thing we're doing? Finding the bones of my ancestor, Aunt Hita, which have been lying somewhere out here for over a hundred years.
Oh, OK.
Shouldn't take that long, then.
[EDGY MUSIC.]
[CLEARS THROAT.]
That's probably confidential police stuff.
Christmas decorations? Easter decorations? - Well, what are you looking for? - I don't know! - A way out.
- Oh yeah, like you're going to find it in there, George.
Tom is going to have to turn up at some stage.
No, because he is off visiting Gloria today.
Well, are you going to help? [GROANS.]
Lost property.
I don't know, we just need to find something we could reach your tools with or your phone.
Like a fishing rod or a pole or Or this? [DOOR SHUTS.]
Hey, Grandpa.
Isn't it a school day? - Work experience.
- Oh.
- Where's George, Ike? - Ike went on a bushwalk.
And George went out and never came back.
I need him.
I need his mighty pen to alert the rest of the country to our plight.
- I could try.
- Ah, no, Billy, I need a writer.
I need something for my English portfolio.
- I could have a go.
- Yeah, alright.
It's not gonna cost me anything.
You have a go.
Write something passionate about the virtue of Weld as opposed to Stafford with its infrastructural and incompetence problems, yeah? OK.
- What do you do? - I'll help.
OK.
I feel like I'm in an old western movie.
Shouldn't the sheriff be dozing at his desk? The sheriff's gonna get a bulking and when I get out of here.
OK, you're right above it now.
Just grab it.
Grab it.
[FRUSTRATED.]
I am grabbing it, George! No, you're not.
Clearly you're not.
You know that arcade game where you drop the claw to get the prize? - Yep.
- Yeah, I sucked at the game, alright? Well, just knock it off the table, then.
What and just hope it bounces towards us? Yeah, basically.
Swipe it.
Right.
Go! Go go go go go.
- [CLATTER.]
- Done.
- If my screen is cracked - Yeah, alright.
- Just drag it, drag it towards us.
- I am.
- Drag it.
- Yes, I am dragging it! - Drag it.
- I'm going to drag you in a second, George! If I can just get the right angle.
Thank you.
Hey, honey.
What? You're where with George? He's with George? That's good.
You're locked in the police cell? What did you do? We haven't arrested Woody or George.
TRACEY [OVER PHONE.]
: But they're locked up in your police cell, Tom.
I see.
I feel lucky doing what I'm doing.
You like working with my dad? Mmm, he's alright.
No, telling stories, eh? I think that's pretty cool.
What sort of stories are there to tell in Weld? Oh, how about the one about the girl who was a real talent but instead of using it she's cleaning other people's houses and working at the Super Store.
Whoa.
You're turning into my dad.
Hey, I just happen to think that you're an artist.
I could say the same to you.
Auntie Hita said, "I lie in the shadow," so maybe that means a cave.
Why didn't she just say, "I lie in a cave"? Yeah, yep, good point.
Well, let's get going.
- My wife is on her way.
- Good.
Still get a kick out of saying that, "My wife.
" Mmm, yeah trust me, it never gets old.
Even after a mortgage and kids I still had days when I couldn't believe my luck.
I'm having those days a lot.
[GENTLE GUITAR.]
You to thank for that, you know.
You got me up that aisle.
Oh, you would have got there yourself, Woody.
You and Tracy are meant to be.
Look, I'm sorry about the trouble with Arlo and Poppy.
I should've kept a better eye on it.
No, I should have encouraged Pops to talk to me or something.
I just I don't really know what I'm doing, to be honest.
I guess I'll figure it out, though.
Yeah, well, let me do we know when you do.
Being a dad isn't easy.
Mate, you are telling me! [EXHALES.]
- Chin up here, mate.
- Eugh! [CHUCKLES.]
- I'm alright.
- Good.
Let's see if Tom's got some food stashed in here, eh? Anything in there? Um, a bit disappointing in this one.
Hang on, what's this? Hey.
You're back early.
Did something happen, Tom? Did something happen? Yes, something happened.
OK.
You don't lock people up, Hannah.
George and Woody weren't talking to each other, OK? They just needed a little bit of help.
Do not detain people without good reason.
I'm not authorised to do it and you certainly are not authorised to do it.
OK, well, the thing is is that last night we were talking about a Reconciliation Room and you know, it's just George and Woody, OK? They'll understand.
It was a bit of a laugh.
Abusing your position working with the police force is not a laughing matter, actually, Hannah.
OK, Tom.
Just like, calm down.
I'm very sorry but this is it.
You're fired.
What? - Tom? - Effective immediately.
Your services are no longer required at the Weld Police Station.
- Honestly, Tom - Gentlemen, I apologise unreservedly for the way in which my former station assistant has treated you today.
Collect your things please, Hannah.
Tom, you don't need to do this in a hurry.
Yeah, we're fine.
We don't want that, Tom.
You could have just given her a warning.
She was just trying to do a good deed.
Hannah's good deeds.
I've had enough! She's treating the police force like it's a joke.
You need to be more personal.
Type this, People from Stafford are fuggly mouth-breathers who Type.
But, I don't think that What you've got there is boring as, Billy.
Do you want to get attention? I suppose.
They are sea donkeys who wear cardigans and three-quarter white pants.
Please, I just want to go and spend the day with Gloria.
Look, up until half an hour ago, Woody and I were We couldn't even stand the sight of each other.
- Well, I wouldn't say that.
- Well, we were at each other's throats.
Well, I wouldn't go that far, either.
We were estranged.
Yes, complete strangers.
And Hannah, although her methods were unorthodox, she restored peace.
If anything she deserves a reward, Tom.
Yeah, give her her job back, Tom.
Please.
If I lay down the law and then I go back on laying down the law, what sort of message does that send? It sends the message that the law is bendable, that it is not black and white, that it is grey.
Well, isn't everything a little bit grey, Tom? No.
Not the law.
Now, if you do not mind, I've kept my lady love waiting long enough.
He's right.
I'm just not cut out for it.
I disagree.
You know, part of me knew it was just too good to be true.
Good money, regular hours, responsibilities.
Oh, too much for a girl like me.
A girl like you? What does that mean? Oh come on, Katie.
You and I both know I got above my station.
I'm sorry but I don't believe that.
I can still hear the sea.
Yeah.
That's Artarta Cove nearby.
It's really hard to get to.
- Artarta Cove.
- Yes? I'm pretty sure 'artarta' means 'shadow'.
It means 'shadow'.
Hey, thank you.
It's pretty steep path.
If you can even call it a path.
Yay.
Hey, you don't have to come down.
You can stay up here.
I've come this far, haven't I? Alright.
OK.
Published five minutes ago, we're already getting hits.
Wait till they read our next one.
I don't think you can publish that.
Already did, Loser.
See? - It's live.
- Oh, Lindsay.
What? It's my grandpa's newspaper.
I can publish whatever I like.
There is a certain journalistic responsibility that comes with free speech.
Anyone call? Anyone come in? Nope.
It's been quiet as.
Good.
[COMPUTER RINGS.]
- Hi.
- I've been looking at your website.
Are you calling me from the toilet? Maybe.
Are you drinking wine in the toilet? Don't judge me, I'm just trying to take a little me time.
- In the - In the toilet, yes.
It's the only place where I can find some peace.
What time is it? Am I not allowed to have a glass of wine with my lunch? Please don't tell me you're having your lunch in the toilet.
Lunch was a couple of bites of last night's pasta in between tending to my small people's every need but, this I intend to savour.
Glass of wine, chat with a friend.
What do you want to chat about? Your latest story on News of the Weld.
Did you leave the interns in charge or something? Yes.
Oh.
Well, that was a mistake.
- Why? - Have you not seen, George? - Coffee break, Mr T.
- Got your eye off the ball there.
Uh, maybe.
Lindsay, Billy! [WHISPERS.]
Take a look at your news site, now.
"Why redheads can't be trusted.
" Why would they do this? Arlo.
I'm beginning to wonder about having you here at the Council.
Giving us a bad rep.
I'm taking you off desk duties.
What other duties are there? [SIGHS.]
Hi, Maxine.
[GRUNTS.]
My name is Arlo, I'm here to give you your vitamins.
[GRUNTS.]
Billy found the bone inland in a creek.
Which means it would have had to travel up and over that hill.
That's impossible.
Or it travelled through the hill.
How? With the seawater.
The creek.
[PULSING MUSIC.]
[PULSING MUSIC.]
Hey, you stay here.
Just in case.
[CLICK, CLICK.]
[GENTLE MUSIC.]
Did you actually lead me here, Mum? It'd be good to know why.
Shut up! - Do you ever hear from Robbie? - No.
You know you were always too good for him, right? Thanks.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
She's fraternising with the enemy, Dad.
Or just selling him a drink.
No.
There is definitely a level of flirtation there.
Next she'll be sleeping with the enemy.
Find us a table.
I'll be right back.
What about you? Are you seeing anyone? Don't read anything into it, I am just making conversation.
Fiona, Vince, not interrupting am I? Fiona, we need to talk about the presidency.
Sorry, but how far do you intend to take this thing, Bill? Do you mind? This is confidential Weldian business.
- Off you go, shoo.
- Bill! Sorry.
What's that all about? - What? - You can do better than that.
Oh, no.
You don't get to tell me who to see or what to do.
I'm a concerned citizen.
And I'm the bloody president, so back off.
Oh, you are? Well, you've nominated me.
I did.
So, why do you suddenly want to do this? Maybe I want to be in charge for once.
Alright.
But let's do this properly.
See if anyone else wants to run and then we'll hold an election.
Bring it on.
Brilliant publicity of course and you do know this means no socialising with the likes of Vince Culley? It's not fitting behaviour for a presidential candidate.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Hey, sorry about the redhead story.
Look, it's fine.
Lindsay was left alone in the newspaper office.
Look, if that's the worst she can do I'm OK with it.
The only problem is I'm not sure how to take it down.
- Ike isn't in today.
- Honestly, Dad, I don't care.
Woody and I are OK now.
You and Poppy next.
Yeah, I'm I think I'm probably just going to keep my distance for a little bit.
Life gets better, mate.
No less complicated, but better.
Oh, I got a message from Grandma.
She wants you to call.
Ah, yeah.
I've been meaning to.
She probably just wants to tell me off for not staying in touch.
Yeah well, or tell you off for Katie.
Yes, that thought did cross my mind.
Shay? I think I know what I want to do with my life.
Shay, I found something.
Are you serious? Right in there I moved some sand, I dug around a bit and I found something.
Aunt Hita? I can feel it.
It's her.
It's her.
"Fuggly mouth-breathers?" Who led the 12-year-olds loose at the newspaper? [CHUCKLES.]
Oh, bloody hell.
She's got no boundaries this daughter of yours.
I think it's just the right message to be sending to Stafford.
"They all wear white pants"? Quite like a white pant.
Dad I I want to run for president of the new republic.
I'd be good at it.
I know what's going on beneath the surface, the sewerage and the storm-water systems for a start.
No, I don't think so, son.
[A MOBILE RINGS.]
Why not? Ike.
Well, you've got no head for politics, Bill.
I mean I'd put Monty ahead of you and that's saying something.
No can do, too many skeletons.
You can't be in politics if you've got skeletons.
[CHUCKLES.]
Good boy.
I'll be right there.
Right.
I've got to go.
- See you soon.
- See you.
It's just pretty casual.
Going to throw some steaks on the barbie.
Yeah? First barbie of spring, eh? No, we'd love to come round and have dinner with you, Katie, Billy and Arlo.
You two go.
I'll just make a sandwich or something.
Oh, but this could be a good opportunity to make up with Arlo.
GEORGE: See you in about half an hour.
Um, yeah we'd love to, but uhm uh, Tracey's already started cooking so - Ah.
OK.
- WOODY: Another time though, mate.
Yeah, for sure.
See ya.
It's because of me.
No.
Tracey had already started cooking something.
I know, do you believe that? [KNOCKS AT THE DOOR.]
[EXHALES.]
[GENTLE MUSIC.]
Give a girl a heart as heck.
I wanted to have a drink with you, away from spectators.
Well, I'm sorry, but we're closed.
Very nice.
Do you want to know a secret? I'm not planning to vote for the merger of the two councils.
- You're not? - Weld is Weld.
It's a cute little town.
Why, thank you, we think so.
And we in Stafford don't need our rates going up to cover the cost of Weld's ancient sewage system and crappy roads.
Oh! You're such a gentleman.
Mmm? [CHANTING IN MAORI.]
[GENTLE MUSIC.]
That's me.
I'm going to head back to the city, make sure I've still got a job.
Your work here is done, eh? Hey, thank you.
Oh, it was well worth it in so many ways.
See you, Zac.
See you next time.
- Excuse me.
- Mmm, go.
Hey.
Hi.
Ike must feel the weight off.
Your whole family must.
Yeah.
Aunt Hita finally where she belongs.
What about you? - Where do I belong? - Yeah.
Oh, you know, down on the beach getting into trouble with the summer boys, it seems.
Come on, Hannah, don't give up.
I know how much you wanted to be a cop.
You heard Tom.
Yeah, it's been a couple of days, he might have cooled off.
- I could have another word with him.
- I don't need you to do that.
Because you're going to do it yourself? You're going to march back in there and ask a second chance? Because it's thanks to you that Woody and I got over ourselves.
Friendship restored.
And I'm glad.
But you don't need to worry about me, George.
I'm sorted.
Good, because I believe in you.
And I appreciate that.
Hey, you boys seen Ngahuia? Her phone's not on.
Oh, I hate to break it to you, but she's gone.
Gone where? Gone, gone.
Back to the city.
Why would she leave without saying goodbye? Well, she did say something about saying goodbye would be way too painful for her.
Makes sense.
Yeah, she'll be back.
I'm confident.
Mmm.
What can I get you? Coffee, please.
My usual.
Hannah? I'm very sorry about the way things turned out.
Would you like a friand with that? No, thanks.
Look, Tom, don't sweat it, OK? I wasn't cut out for the job.
You know, Fiona is stoked to have me back 'cause she can actually have a day off.
Right.
So, it's a win-win.
Yes.
Good.
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING.]
Nice look.
I think it's quite saucy.
Whatever.
I'm not gonna wear it forever.
Hey, I think I'm going to start painting again.
Good idea.
Yeah, I think it's what I'm meant to do.
What's that? Book of dream destinations.
Your dream destination is a graveyard? You'll get there one day, Siouxsie.
We all do.
It's for my big OE.
What's an OE? Kiwi ritual.
Young people leave these islands, they see a lot of sites, they drink a lot of booze, they shag a lot of foreigners and then they come back and start their adult lives.
Hey Lindsay, maybe you could go on an OE with Siouxsie.
I'm actually moving back home.
There's never any food or toilet paper here and I don't like the old lady furniture.
But what about Bill Jr and sending you off to boarding school? Let him try.
I'll write a story about how plumbers can never keep girlfriends because of the lingering stench.
Laterz.
Yes, yes, yes! [DOOR SHUTS.]
I never do this, stay in bed all day.
Oh, you deserve some time out.
I'll call you.
That's what you said last time.
Ah, but this time I mean it.
- Isn't she a superstar? - She is.
Though that Republic of Weld thing was genius.
Classic 'look over there' tactic.
Yeah, you should go into politics.
Oh, I've got enough on my plate if all this comes off.
- Oh, I'm confident it will.
- [CHUCKLES.]
Yeah, it's great.
I've made lots of friends.
Mmm, that's good to hear, honey.
I was worried.
I mean, you spent most of your life surrounded by adults.
I'm fine, Mum.
Everyone is really nice.
Don't be the one who's down on me Down on you Baby, it's all around The frown on me [GEORGE'S TYPING.]
In all the endless quotes about friendship I think Audrey Hepburn said it best.
"The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.
" She's right because "Even the sunniest day," "the funniest joke, the bluest sea is nothing without friends.
" Oh.
Yeah, a little bit cheesy, this week.
I'm glad you and Woody sorted it out.
Well, we were always going to because men don't hold grudges like women can.
[SCOFFS.]
Generalisation! Well, blame Google.
I've been doing a lot of research about this.
Don't write "Men don't hold grudges like women do.
" - I wasn't going to.
- Or I'll never speak to you again.
[CHUCKLES.]
[PHONE RINGS.]
[CLICK.]
Hi.
Long time no see.
Not for lack of trying, George.
We were beginning to think that you were ignoring us.
- How are the kids? - Well, they're Sorry, we haven't got time for small talk.
OK, look, whatever I've done or haven't done, I am sorry.
Oh, for God's sake, George, this isn't about you.
What's wrong? You must have got the same letter that we did, George.
Uhm No.
Told you.
Other things on his mind.
Hush, hush now, Trish.
Hang on, there's something here from my old address.
You'd better open it.
It's about Laura.
Move in with me.
- Because I love you.
- Oh.
She's trying to replace mum.
Am I not allowed to be happy? Torn, between his new love I feel ripped apart.
And his flesh and blood.
- If Mum were here.
- Well she's not here, is she? In the final 2 weeks.
I don't need charity.
Say goodbye to Australia's favourite family [SCREAMS.]
New '800 Words', next Tuesday.