Dynasty (2017) s03e13 Episode Script
You See Most Things in Terms of Black & White
1 - Previously on Dynasty - Is this a bad idea? I'm in the mood for a bad idea.
Fletcher is married.
He was lying to me the whole time we dated.
What the hell are you doing here? Didn't Blake tell you? I'm moving in, dear.
(WHIRRING) What the hell is this? Why are we having swamp water for breakfast? And why don't I smell crepes? DOMINIQUE: Because you're smelling wellness! Good morning, roomies.
I thought a heart-healthy meal would be better for all of us.
Okay, I'd like to discuss some house rules, since I wasn't exactly consulted before your arrival.
The deal we made for her getting me access to Jeff's office was one year, nonnegotiable, but we will hardly see her, because she also agreed to lay low in the east wing.
Isn't that right, Dominique? And I'll be sure to add an addendum that you are no longer allowed to speak to the kitchen staff.
- (PHONE CHIMES) - Hmm.
Oh! Excuse me, I have a very important meeting.
See? It's almost like I wasn't here.
"Almost.
" Wow.
30 seconds in and I already want to kill her.
I don't know if I can make it a year.
You are underestimating how remarkable you are.
If you could move past all that Alexis crap like you did, Dominique will be a walk in the park.
I don't like walking in the park with a snake.
- (PHONE VIBRATES) - I I have to take this.
I'll be right back.
(SNIFFS) (RETCHES, SPITS) Gunnerson! Bring me some bacon! Liam, you and I have endured and overcome so many insane obstacles.
And by insane, I mean your mother.
But I have never been more sure that I am ready to spend the rest of my life by your side and in your arms.
So, Liam will you marry me? Yes, Liam will marry you.
And if he doesn't, I will.
I mean, look at this ring.
Aw, I am touched by your materialism.
But I would lose the one knee thing if I were you.
It feels dated.
What? No, no, there's no time to tinker.
I am doing this at dinner tonight.
Liam.
Liam! Liam! Get rid of it.
My mouth? Okay.
What's better than a good sweat? FALLON: Uh aw, man.
I can't think of anything better.
SAM: I actually haven't had a good sweat in ages.
Hey, Siri, remind me to sweat later.
- Good call.
- Yeah.
You two seem weird.
BOTH: Weird? No Excited, yes.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- About the hotel.
- SAM: It's, um Sold out! - It's sold out for the - For the night.
rest of the time.
So, are we still on for tonight? Yes, we are, um, but do you think you could possibly, I don't know, wash off the sweat - before then? - Why? Why, you don't like this? - (WINCES) - No? Little bit? Okay.
Whew! Okay, bye.
No! Hey.
Fine.
(JEFF MOANS) - Is that good? - It's a little more aggressive than I'm used to.
But I like it.
(DOOR OPENS) - Hello, Mother.
- Shouldn't you knock before walking in on your mother with your stepfather? - Lesson learned.
- Still, what a pleasant surprise.
Are you here for just a visit? - I doubt it.
- Are you hungry? Definitely not hungry, but, um I do need some help.
Oh, well, hold on while I look surprised.
- What do you need? - So, my license with the state medical board is up for review, as it is every six months.
And Blake was making these "donations" to keep it legit.
By "donations," you mean "bribes"? Semantics, but now that I've fallen out of favor with Father, those have stopped, so I I need some money or I won't be able to practice as a doctor in Atlanta.
Well, sounds like a big win for the patients of Atlanta.
(SIGHS) How much are we talking? Not a lot, like 100,000 I'd I'd really appreciate it.
Fine, I'll do it.
- Really? - (LAUGHS) No, not really.
You poisoned me, so let me amend my response to hell no.
Not a penny, son.
Being a parent's kind of fun.
(CHAMPAGNE POURING) Enjoy.
I call it House of Deveraux.
A fabulous, sexy reality show featuring myself, naturally, and my rising star daughter, Vanessa, all shot in my new home, Carrington Manor.
It's very, um, Kardashian/Jenner-like.
But with singing.
And me.
Hmm, I'm thinking about it but I'm not liking it.
You produce a lot of these shows, Stacey.
This will be huge.
You know who's gonna tune in to see you and your unknown daughter? No one.
Now, maybe Blake Carrington could be a hot name coming off of his murder trial.
And people seem to be very interested in his stunning new bride.
Unfortunately, Cristal and I aren't exactly besties.
Well, neither are the housewives.
But they are juicy and salacious.
Show me a sizzle reel.
A side to Cristal Carrington no one knows about.
I get it.
So, when Fletcher gets here, I'm gonna throw one of these drinks in his face for not telling me he was married.
Why hasn't Adam texted me yet? This one will sting more.
This one will stain more.
And that one just tastes nasty.
So, what do you think? We had amazing sex.
- What's this guy's deal? - I could salt the rim of this mojito for more bite.
Kirby? Focus.
Wait, I'm sorry, you invited Fletcher here to throw a drink in his face? You're not really the drink-throwing type.
I know.
Hi Sam.
- Fletcher.
- Just let me explain.
Yes.
I'm married.
But we have an open marriage and my husband knows everything.
There was no cheating.
I just didn't know how to tell you, because some people have a problem with it.
Well, I didn't see that coming.
Kirby? Don't you have somewhere to be? (LAUGHS) Oh, no, not really.
Look, I can't stay anyway.
I just wanted to tell you the truth in person.
And to ask if you're still interested in seeing each other? That seems like a good idea.
Great, I I'll call you later.
Okay.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Bye, Fletcher! That's a terrible idea.
Oh, says the genius who slept with Adam Carrington? FALLON: Okay, Liam will be here any minute when he gets here, he will sit down, tell me how great I look and order a drink.
At that point, I will propose, he will say yes, and on my cue, you will start playing.
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay? You got that? Yes? (WHISPERS): Okay, okay, he's here.
Go hide.
- Okay.
- Go hide faster! (CHUCKLES): Hey, look at you all clean and sweat-free.
Really? 'Cause I'm kind of freakin' out.
Oh, no, don't.
You smell great.
What? No.
No, no, no.
But I just got huge news.
- Mm-hmm.
- I have an opportunity to pitch a book idea to one of the most important publishers in the world.
Wow! Wow, that is great news.
And I can't wait to talk about it in 15 minutes.
- Could we just get you a drink? - Yeah, that's the problem.
The publisher's in London, so I have to fly out tomorrow.
So, what's the problem? I need a rain check on tonight, 'cause I have so much to do.
I need to pack, flesh out my idea, write notes.
And this has to happen tomorrow? I know it's sudden, but they're insisting.
It's an opportunity that I can't pass up.
Okay, it's fine.
Whatever.
Go.
(SIGHS): Oh, also, I'd love to borrow the jet.
So, do you think you could set that up for me while I get ready? You should come with me.
No, no.
That's fine.
I will just wait until you get back.
- Wait? - Oh, to - congratulate you, silly.
- Okay, well, - I got to run, so - Mm-hmm.
- Think on it? - Okay, I will.
("WEDDING MARCH" PLAYING) (SIGHS) Not the gesture.
I mean, the obvious move is to wait for Liam to get back and then propose to him then.
Because it has to be perfect.
Right? Totally.
So, for my date with Fletcher, I'm thinking of wearing this kind of an "Open marriage? Who cares?" vibe.
But there's also this "I'm obviously hotter than your husband" deal.
I'm legit torn.
Can you help me? Maybe I'm putting too much pressure on myself.
It doesn't have to be a perfect storybook proposal, you know? Every time I go for a fairy tale, it ends up being a disaster.
I mean, we're like Hansel and Gretel, except if the witch actually ate them in the end, and then got food poisoning.
Okay, I think you should totally go to London with him.
I mean, he clearly wants you to, and it's not like you have anything else to do here.
Interesting.
I guess I could go with him and find the perfect moment to propose.
(GASPS) I could take him to my favorite chocolate shop in the world and propose to him there.
Chocolate shop? Who are you, Willy Wonka? I could even propose on the plane.
That's interesting.
Okay, so, um which outfit? For what? Where are you going? You are seriously the worst friend.
Oh, please.
Last night you wanted to marry me.
Top from A, bottom from B, and we're gonna need an option C - for the shoes.
- Really? Anders.
I've been looking everywhere for you.
You found me.
Well done.
Now, if you don't mind I do mind.
I need some advice on Cristal.
How can I befriend her, get her to really open up to me? I'm not sure that's possible.
Also, I would consider helping you but I don't trust you.
No need to trust.
I just want to be friends with my sister-in-law.
So let's say I wanted to arrange a special dinner for her.
What would that look like? Does she have a strong feeling about kale? Mrs.
Carrington's feelings about kale are hers and hers alone.
Classic Anders.
You're like a field general unflappable in battle and always the smartest man in the room.
That's why I've had a secret crush on you for years.
I was unaware.
Well, now you know General.
At ease, Soldier.
If you do want to have this dinner, Mrs.
Carrington has an affinity for roasted pork.
May I please go about my business now? Of course.
Whoa! We're going for one night.
Hey, you never know what could happen.
We could have a reason to celebrate and stay longer.
Celebrate? Oh.
You know, if they buy your book idea.
(CHUCKLING): Are you okay? I've just never seen you be so giddy about my career.
Even when you were my publisher.
(LAUGHS SOFTLY) But it feels nice to be supported.
No.
Well, I am always supportive.
Sometimes it's just a little less obvious.
But I think this trip is gonna be a memorable one for both of us.
- Let's go to London.
- (LAUGHS SOFTLY) FLETCHER: I got three local affiliates to cover the event, plus HGTV.
And then I hit a nun with a taxi.
What? Is everything okay? No.
I can't stop thinking of your husband.
Hey, look, I assure you my husband is not thinking of you.
No offense.
And the open marriage was his idea.
But I'm-I'm fine with it.
Are you positive? I am.
Yeah, it works.
Can you tell me what time it is? Aren't you wearing a watch? I'd rather hear you say it.
(LAUGHS) What is this? Oh.
Wow.
This is beautiful.
Thank you.
For everything.
JENNINGS: Dominique? Welcome home, Cristal.
Okay, that's a little creepy.
I just wanted to document tonight.
I thought you might be hungry from your long trip, so I catered in a small feast for us.
It's from the best barbecue joint in Atlanta.
We have pork ribs and pulled pork and smoked sausages and even pigs in a blanket for fun.
What the hell is going on here? I want us to spend time together.
And after dessert, I brought in the dream team of beauticians.
We can get manis and pedis and waxing together, just like sisters.
This is all insane.
- Plus, I'm allergic to pork.
- What? I need to get out of here.
I have to go lie down.
How about on those massage tables? We could get a couples massage and chat? So this is nice, right? I would like to make a toast to you Liam.
Actually, hold that thought, save the toast.
- I got a better idea.
- I'm pretty sure you don't.
No, this is perfect.
I need to practice my pitch.
All right, this project could be life-changing for me, and I I need to nail it in the room.
- Mm-hmm.
- And since we're gonna be here for a while, I mean, why not do it now, right? It's so perfect.
Okay, so any feedback is appreciated characters, plot, anything.
- I'm starting to wish I was in coach.
- Okay.
Yeah.
Sorry.
I'll start.
(SIGHS) It started on a day like any other.
I was tying up loose ends on a nasty espionage case when a rich nightclub owner showed himself in like he owned the place.
They say you're a pretty good private detective, Leland.
Some say I'm the best, pal.
Some say you were the best.
Well, some say Okay, we could do this all day.
- Get to the point.
- There was a jewelry heist at my nightclub.
Since I'd rather not have the cops involved, I want you on the case.
I know you and your nightclub, Mr.
Sanders.
I'm not interested in the case.
A P.
I.
turning down a case? Not something you see every day.
Yeah, well, I got my reasons.
There's not a damn thing you can do to change my mind.
We'll see about that.
Blaine, get in here! Tout de suite! Sorry, sir.
I didn't hear you at first.
- Get a hearing aid.
- Yeah.
Please change the gentleman's mind.
Oh, yeah.
Uh Where's your mind at now, Leland? Nice plate of greens is good for a man's diet.
I'm on the case.
That Peach Diamond is priceless.
It's my baby.
I want you to nab the thief and return Kirby to me.
It's what I call the diamond.
Oh.
So you put the diamond in the safe in your office.
And then the power goes out.
SANDERS: I'll bet my last buffalo nickel it was the new busboy, Aidan, that stole it.
He's more suspicious than a three-legged cat, and he skipped town right after the robbery.
Well, it's always an inside job.
Except when it isn't.
How much is your fee again? I'll ask the questions, Sanders.
Such as, why'd you keep such a hot rock in your club instead of your home safe? I don't trust anybody there, either.
Right.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the fabulous Club Sanders.
Magic is in the air every night here, but tonight, my friends, the magic is real.
So I'm gonna need you beautiful people to show some deep love to the extravagant, the exquisite, the vivacious Miss Veronica Cabot.
(PIANO PLAYS INTRO TO SINATRA'S "WHY TRY TO CHANGE ME NOW") I'm sentimental So I walk in the rain I've got some habits LELAND: I only had one reason for not taking the case, but it was a doozy.
Veronica, the one I gave my heart to, only to have her chew it up, spit it out, kick it to the curb and drive over it with a steamroller twice.
Try to change me now? So let people wonder Let 'em laugh Let 'em frown You know I'll love you Till the moon's upside down Don't you remember I was always your clown Why try to change me Why would you want to change me? LELAND: Every drop of blood in my veins told me to bolt out of there and never look back, but my eyes wouldn't let me leave, and my heart started ripping through my shirt.
(SONG ENDS) (APPLAUSE) - (DRINK POURING) - LIAM: So, how do you like it so far? Well, I have to be honest.
It was a little meh at first.
But then, the lounge singer came in, and it got much more exciting.
Okay, just wait.
Mm-hmm.
Hmm.
(APPLAUSE) LELAND: I knew I had to interview everyone in the joint, so I stopped staring and started talking.
Sure I was drinking here that night, but I have no alibi, because I come and go a lot.
No one ever recognizes my face.
Been slinging cocktails here forever.
I'd never steal from my boss, Sanders.
He's always been so good to me, especially when I've been so bad.
I see everything from up here on stage.
So you want to know who I saw slinking around that night the lights went out in Georgia? No one, 'cause it was pitch black.
You're never gonna find that diamond.
Where was I at the time? Easy.
I was, uh, moving the boss's car.
Filling it with gas.
Hmm.
Happy to see you, Leland.
I know you'll dig for the truth and prove the busboy didn't do it.
Because Aidan's my brother, and he's being framed like a Monet or a Manet.
I didn't know you had a brother, Veronica, or such a sweeping knowledge of art.
I'd like to chat with Aidan.
Well, of course you would, but you can't.
You see, he's hiding out until the real thief is caught.
It's too hot for him here.
You're looking good.
For whatever it's worth.
The last time you told me I was looking good was two seconds before you slammed the door on my grill.
But I'm still gonna crack this case.
But for now, maybe we keep our distance.
FALLON: Why is he being so rude to her? I mean, it's clear that the singer is the hero, and the P.
I.
should be treating her like one.
Okay, so you're invested in the story.
Mm-mm.
Uh Just keep going.
So, tell me, Lexi.
No one remembers seeing you at your husband's club the night the Peach Diamond was poached.
Believe me, darling.
If I had been there, they'd all remember seeing me.
This is a face you don't forget.
Right.
So, where were you that night? I was in bed, of course.
I can take you upstairs if you'd like to touch it.
I'm a little chilly right now.
Well, if you want to get toasty why don't you take a step closer to the fire? I don't do well with fire, mister.
But I'm really good at conducting body heat.
LELAND: I didn't have time for hanky-panky.
I don't have time for hanky-panky.
Sal! Little Joe! Get this bum out of here.
No need, ma'am.
This bum will show himself out.
But the next time you get cold? Try a light sweater.
Hey.
Why don't we take a stroll, pal.
Maybe have a little chat.
- Easy.
I bruise like a baby peach.
- Aw.
Then I'm thinking you don't show your face around here no more.
Yeah, and I'm wondering what else you two gentlemen do around here besides rough up innocent P.
I.
s.
Actually, I handle accommodations.
So if you ever need a place to stay, I can give you my card.
And I, uh, deal with Mr.
Sanders' vehicles.
See, cars are kind of my thing.
Well, something's puzzling me because No, don't! Relax.
Just gonna water these petunias.
Okay.
That's not what I thought - you were gonna say about that.
- Hey, pal.
I trust my beak, and something about you doesn't smell right.
- I didn't lay a hand on the boss's jewels.
- Maybe not, but you laid them all over the boss's wife, - didn't you? - What? That meathead Little Joe says he runs the show on Sanders' cars.
So one plus two means you lied to me about where you were the other night.
You weren't at a gas station.
Yeah.
And how'd you know I was banging the boss's wife? I didn't until you just said it.
- (EXHALES) - Guess I got a little lucky there, huh? Eh, not as lucky as me.
You've seen Lexi.
She's a knockout.
I can't imagine being married to her, but hell of a sidepiece, right? FALLON: Wait.
- What? - I'm just trying to add some flavor.
I am starting to get confused, which is not the ideal flavor you want to leave your audience with.
Can you just tell me who stole the Peach Diamond so that this can be over and I can tell you my story? My story with the happiest ending ever where everything makes sense? Sounds amazing.
But not yet.
Because things are about to get crazy in mine.
(SIGHS) (LELAND EXHALES) LELAND: The last time something this hot was in my office was when my portable wok exploded.
Funny me, thinking the lock on my door keeps people out.
Well, my key's still good, so I let myself in.
If I come up with any more questions about the case, I'll knock on your door.
But now, feel free to use that one.
Oh, I'm not here to talk about the case, Leland.
But it doesn't take a detective to know that you got tossed around like a rag doll.
Sometimes I wish I had amnesia so I could forget you existed.
(CHUCKLES) Tell me, Detective.
Do you remember this? That top lip rings a bell.
Try the bottom.
They're twins.
BLAINE: Leland.
It's me, Blaine.
I just remembered something, something big.
I need to talk to you tonight.
You know what? I just realized that I've forgotten a few details about you.
How'd you like to jog my memories? LIAM: Whoa, hey, there.
I think the story is in great shape.
I'm totally feeling the characters.
But what I want to be feeling is the author.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
- What? - No, no, we can't have sex yet.
We're almost in London, and I need to finish telling the story.
(EXHALES) Fine.
Just keep it sexy, pick up the pace and skip to the end.
("THE MAN THAT GOT AWAY" PLAYING) The night is bitter The stars have lost their glitter The winds grow colder Suddenly you're older And all because of the man That got away LELAND: There were some strange patrons in the club that night.
But I was there to get dirt out of Blaine, not to hassle some daffy mother out for a few stiff ones with the kid.
The writing's on the wall The dreams you dreamed Have all Gone astray The man that won you You said you got big news.
Well, I haven't seen the papers today, and I got a hankering for the headlines.
Has seen its final inning Don't know what happened LELAND: He was deader than Friendster.
Either poisoned or a heart attack.
Lousy night either way.
Except now I knew who did it.
I am locking it down, people! (PEOPLE GASPING) - Nobody leaves.
- Uh, should I keep singing? Nobody sings.
There was a serious crime here, and I know who did it.
The diamond heist? (PLAYS HIGH NOTES) Or the murder? (PLAYS LOW NOTES) The murder seems bigger.
Oh, please.
People get murdered left and right around here.
I was hired to catch a thief, and that's what I'm gonna do.
It was the busboy, Aidan.
That's a lie! He's gone, and he's never coming back.
Or did he come back to tie up loose ends? What, you don't see him? Maybe he's the invisible man.
- Or woman.
- (ALL GASP) - No! - WOMAN: The baby! (PEOPLE GASPING) It was a doll? (SNIFFS) Poison! I'd bet five bucks on it.
Five whole bucks? Get your mitts off me.
I did nothing, you hear? We're gonna take you in.
But first, - we're gonna take you out.
- Got to make sure justice gets served.
(CHUCKLES) Oh! I'll never let them strap you to that mean, old electric chair.
Not my brother.
LELAND: She was gone.
For good.
AIDAN: Wait.
Wait, no.
(PLANE PASSING OVERHEAD) LELAND: Smart move taking a plane, Veronica.
Sure, a bus is cheaper.
A train's more clickety-clack romantic, but they don't make you disappear like that.
What are you doing here, Leland? You picking your mom up? Well, hopefully, you'll get lucky, and her plane'll crash.
First you manipulated your brother to steal the Peach Diamond for you.
Then you manipulated Sanders to hire me, intending the trail to lead right to Aidan.
(CHUCKLES) You're even crazier than shorts with high heels.
You had to have Blaine killed when he learned the truth, which is why you told Aidan to come back.
But why would your brother ax Blaine for you? Simple.
He's not your brother.
He's your lover! (SCOFFS) That bastard.
Did he tell you that? He didn't have to.
I saw the look on his face when you gave him the ole "see you later.
" I'd recognize that look anywhere.
It's the look I saw on my face when you gave me the ole "see you later.
" Well, that makes no sense.
You can't see your own face.
I'm assuming that's how I looked, okay? The point is, like Aidan, I would've killed for you at one point, too.
(SCOFFS) You think you know everything, but you know nothing.
The only thing I don't know is what you did with the Peach Diamond.
Wouldn't happen to be in that handbag, would it? I caught you red-handed.
Peach-handed.
You got to listen to me, Leland.
I can change.
And that rock's worth millions.
Let's run away together.
Me and you, baby, till the end of time.
LELAND: I was torn.
I wanted to believe her, but she'd lied to me over and over again.
So many times.
Repeatedly.
(GRUNTS, EXHALES) (LAUGHS) You're a bigger fool than Aidan.
And he's a big fool.
Huge.
Goodbye, Leland.
I'll see you in hell.
(GUN CLICKING) I removed the bullets, Veronica.
- So who's the huge fool now? - (HANDCUFFS CLINK) Rhetorical question implying you're the huge fool.
No.
No! - (HANDCUFFS CLICK) - LELAND: It wasn't the ending I chose but the one that chose me.
Unlucky.
(TIRES SCREECH) Well, look at that.
Your pitch lasted the entire flight.
So? What'd you think? Uh, yeah, I thought it was it was good.
Good? That's it? Fallon, my pitch is in an hour.
Okay, well, tiny thought.
Maybe postpone it a few weeks or, I don't know, a year.
Why? Well, honestly, it didn't make sense in a lot of places.
Okay, like where? Like everywhere.
I mean, how did the P.
I.
suddenly figure everything out? Why was Aidan in a dress? And were Sal and Little Joe cops, or were they security guards? - I don't know.
It was all very confusing.
- Well, I don't agree.
Oh, and another thing? You made Veronica way too manipulative.
You know what? The story's solid.
- I just think you didn't understand it.
- Excuse me? It's a complex story.
Maybe you just weren't able to follow it.
Well, I'm following that you're calling me dumb right now.
Not dumb.
Just an unsophisticated reader.
Look, you can't be great at everything.
It's fine.
You know what? Go pitch your stupid story, but do not come crying to me when they "chew it up and spit it out.
Twice.
" Fletcher's married, Sam.
How could he possibly be serious about you, the person he's not married to? Well, my, uh, new, insanely beautiful watch says pretty serious to me.
Mm.
"I can't give you my undivided love, so I'll give you a sparkly timepiece.
" Can you please just be supportive? I really care about him, and I'm pretty sure that the whole open marriage situation won't last long, which means that the marriage won't, either.
Fletcher's probably totally gonna leave his husband.
He said this? Or is this just what you're hoping will happen? Kirby, I think I'm falling in love with him.
And I think he's falling in love with me, too.
Congratulations.
You fooled the hell out of me with that whole "Cristal loves pork" thing.
Oh.
Must have slipped my mind that she's allergic.
I should've known better than to try to get info on Cristal from such a loyal man.
Is there something I can help you with? - Have Mrs.
Gunnerson prepare you a sandwich? - (CHAMPAGNE POURING) Do I look like the type of person who would eat a sandwich? No, I'm going upstairs to take Cristal some champagne.
Nothing says bonding better than Cristal and Dom.
Clever.
(QUIETLY): I'll see you in 20.
Well, I guess I'll see you in 21.
ALEXIS: I'm sorry, Adam.
I did everything I could to get Jeff to give you the money.
It's fine.
I hated the idea of owing him anything anyway, so The great news is Jeff and I have a plan.
And once it goes perfectly, I will have more than enough money to buy you a license in Georgia, Montana.
Hell, I'll buy you a license in all 50 states.
That's very sweet, Mother.
But that sounds like it'll take time.
My plan is ready to go.
- Do tell.
- So, I'm gonna sell the vineyard I bought for Blake and use that money to pay off whomever to get my medical license back.
Isn't the vineyard Blake's? But the deed's in my name.
We never changed it.
So what are you waiting for? So, while the deed is in my name, it's also in Blake's office.
In the manor.
Which I'm banned from.
But if I can just get my hands on it, then Blake would have no recourse when I sell.
Well, maybe there's something I can do.
Nah.
I said "recourse," not "intercourse.
" (KNOCKING) (GASPING) Somebody has a secret lover.
KIRBY: Playing hide-and-seek? (WHISPERS): Kirby, what are you doing here? I live here.
Question is, what are you doing here? Clearly not looking for me.
Or texting me.
I feel terrible about that.
- Really? - That's why I came.
For an in-person apology.
(SCOFFS) Why should I believe a word you say? - Why would I lie about being excited to see you? - Eh.
That does sound like it could be true.
So, should I take you up to my room and show you pics of Australia or just throw you on my bed? I was thinking about something a little more dangerous.
- How do you get this Sorry.
- Shut up! Oh! (EXHALES) That was insane.
Yeah.
I've never had anyone do the I learned that in Montana.
Ah.
Bear country.
- Mm-hmm.
- That makes sense.
Yeah.
This has to be the last time we do this.
It's just it's-it's too complicated and messy.
Yeah.
I agree.
Except not really.
You should go first.
All right? (CHUCKLES) I'm not going anywhere until you tell me why you're really here.
Well, I know it wasn't to see me.
Or even to see me naked.
I'm here for the deed to the vineyard, and I found it.
Good for you.
But you know if you need something stolen from the manor, you can always just ask me.
(ELEVATOR DINGS) LIAM: Fallon.
Welcome to London.
What are you doing here? Did they already reject your pitch in record time? I wish I could say I was sorry, but I didn't go.
See, I had to tell you the real end of the story.
The P.
I.
had the Peach Diamond the whole time.
Okay, you know how confused I was before? Well, this isn't helping.
Can I please go in the room now? Sure.
("JUST LIKE HEAVEN" PLAYING) What? - No.
- (CHUCKLES) Can I at least ask the question first? (GASPS) Fallon Carrington, will you marry me? No.
Wait.
Not until you tell me what the hell is going on here.
Well, I just proposed to you.
There's no pitch.
I made the story up on the plane.
I saw your ring yesterday, and I wanted to be the one to propose to you this time.
Wait, you knew I was about to propose and you didn't let me? That's so rude.
See, I knew if you were pissed off at me, you wouldn't propose, so I pretended like you didn't understand the story, because I know you like to be the smartest person in the room.
Well, I don't like it.
It's more of a curse, really.
And it worked.
I'll run away with you You're surprised.
I'll run away with you So, what do you say? "Let's run away together, baby.
Me and you.
" - "Till the end of time.
" - You Soft and only You Lost and lonely You Just like heaven.
I'm worried about my friend Sam.
He's falling in love with you, and he thinks the feeling is mutual.
He's right.
I'm crazy about him.
Never met anybody like Sam.
He's so fun but also amazingly deep and gentle.
And hot.
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY) Oh.
So if you came here to get me to dump him, no way.
I didn't come here to get you to break up with him.
I came here to get you to be honest with him about where this is going.
And if you really think he's that special, you need to do the right thing, no matter how hard it is.
(QUIETLY): Mm-hmm.
JENNINGS: I paid you half when we met in Mexico.
Here's the other half.
Got a picture for me? This woman killed my ex-lover and my unborn baby and tried to put my husband in jail.
There needs to be a price for her actions.
I'm pretty sure this is the ultimate price.
(SOFT CHATTER) Hey.
Hey.
I just talked to Fletcher.
And? Oh, no.
- He dumped me.
- He did not.
I was there.
What did he say? Some crap about how his husband can't handle it and he's jealous and that I didn't deserve to be in the middle of this messy situation, which should make me feel better.
But it doesn't.
I'm sorry, Sam.
You deserve so much better than that.
I know.
Hey.
Where have you been? Your cell kept going to voice mail.
Oh.
Um, the battery died.
Sorry about that.
But I'm here now.
Okay What are you up to? I just had to take care of a few personal things with my family.
But everything's back on track now.
Can I just say how proud I am of you for not murdering Dominique yet? I am all about self-control.
- (GLASSES CLINK) - (CHUCKLING) Mm.
This makes me so happy, I almost forgot that I got dumped earlier.
Oh, wait, I got to tell you the best part of the story.
Oh, you mean the part where I knew you were gonna propose and I made sure Fallon got on that plane to London? What? You knew and you didn't tell me? - Great part.
- LIAM: Not the best part.
No.
The best part being when you proposed and I said yes, right? I was thinking more about the part where I totally fooled you.
FALLON: Right.
But which is the best part of the story that you'll be telling for decades? You said yes.
I said yes.
Well, love may not have worked out for me, but I could not be happier for you two.
Oh.
I'll never dump you, Sam.
- (CHUCKLES) - Thanks, bro.
Well, I would love to stay and soak all of this in, but I do have a re-engagement party to plan.
- Mwah.
Let's talk.
- Let's go.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER) Baby, I need your touch I wanna lose control Heidi? Hello, Liam.
What are you doing here? Been a long time, right? Since Switzerland.
I think the last time we spoke was when I told you I was putting the baby up for adoption.
Look, is there something you want? Something I can help you with? That's my son, Connor.
Our son, Connor.
It's time he meets his father.
Fletcher is married.
He was lying to me the whole time we dated.
What the hell are you doing here? Didn't Blake tell you? I'm moving in, dear.
(WHIRRING) What the hell is this? Why are we having swamp water for breakfast? And why don't I smell crepes? DOMINIQUE: Because you're smelling wellness! Good morning, roomies.
I thought a heart-healthy meal would be better for all of us.
Okay, I'd like to discuss some house rules, since I wasn't exactly consulted before your arrival.
The deal we made for her getting me access to Jeff's office was one year, nonnegotiable, but we will hardly see her, because she also agreed to lay low in the east wing.
Isn't that right, Dominique? And I'll be sure to add an addendum that you are no longer allowed to speak to the kitchen staff.
- (PHONE CHIMES) - Hmm.
Oh! Excuse me, I have a very important meeting.
See? It's almost like I wasn't here.
"Almost.
" Wow.
30 seconds in and I already want to kill her.
I don't know if I can make it a year.
You are underestimating how remarkable you are.
If you could move past all that Alexis crap like you did, Dominique will be a walk in the park.
I don't like walking in the park with a snake.
- (PHONE VIBRATES) - I I have to take this.
I'll be right back.
(SNIFFS) (RETCHES, SPITS) Gunnerson! Bring me some bacon! Liam, you and I have endured and overcome so many insane obstacles.
And by insane, I mean your mother.
But I have never been more sure that I am ready to spend the rest of my life by your side and in your arms.
So, Liam will you marry me? Yes, Liam will marry you.
And if he doesn't, I will.
I mean, look at this ring.
Aw, I am touched by your materialism.
But I would lose the one knee thing if I were you.
It feels dated.
What? No, no, there's no time to tinker.
I am doing this at dinner tonight.
Liam.
Liam! Liam! Get rid of it.
My mouth? Okay.
What's better than a good sweat? FALLON: Uh aw, man.
I can't think of anything better.
SAM: I actually haven't had a good sweat in ages.
Hey, Siri, remind me to sweat later.
- Good call.
- Yeah.
You two seem weird.
BOTH: Weird? No Excited, yes.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- About the hotel.
- SAM: It's, um Sold out! - It's sold out for the - For the night.
rest of the time.
So, are we still on for tonight? Yes, we are, um, but do you think you could possibly, I don't know, wash off the sweat - before then? - Why? Why, you don't like this? - (WINCES) - No? Little bit? Okay.
Whew! Okay, bye.
No! Hey.
Fine.
(JEFF MOANS) - Is that good? - It's a little more aggressive than I'm used to.
But I like it.
(DOOR OPENS) - Hello, Mother.
- Shouldn't you knock before walking in on your mother with your stepfather? - Lesson learned.
- Still, what a pleasant surprise.
Are you here for just a visit? - I doubt it.
- Are you hungry? Definitely not hungry, but, um I do need some help.
Oh, well, hold on while I look surprised.
- What do you need? - So, my license with the state medical board is up for review, as it is every six months.
And Blake was making these "donations" to keep it legit.
By "donations," you mean "bribes"? Semantics, but now that I've fallen out of favor with Father, those have stopped, so I I need some money or I won't be able to practice as a doctor in Atlanta.
Well, sounds like a big win for the patients of Atlanta.
(SIGHS) How much are we talking? Not a lot, like 100,000 I'd I'd really appreciate it.
Fine, I'll do it.
- Really? - (LAUGHS) No, not really.
You poisoned me, so let me amend my response to hell no.
Not a penny, son.
Being a parent's kind of fun.
(CHAMPAGNE POURING) Enjoy.
I call it House of Deveraux.
A fabulous, sexy reality show featuring myself, naturally, and my rising star daughter, Vanessa, all shot in my new home, Carrington Manor.
It's very, um, Kardashian/Jenner-like.
But with singing.
And me.
Hmm, I'm thinking about it but I'm not liking it.
You produce a lot of these shows, Stacey.
This will be huge.
You know who's gonna tune in to see you and your unknown daughter? No one.
Now, maybe Blake Carrington could be a hot name coming off of his murder trial.
And people seem to be very interested in his stunning new bride.
Unfortunately, Cristal and I aren't exactly besties.
Well, neither are the housewives.
But they are juicy and salacious.
Show me a sizzle reel.
A side to Cristal Carrington no one knows about.
I get it.
So, when Fletcher gets here, I'm gonna throw one of these drinks in his face for not telling me he was married.
Why hasn't Adam texted me yet? This one will sting more.
This one will stain more.
And that one just tastes nasty.
So, what do you think? We had amazing sex.
- What's this guy's deal? - I could salt the rim of this mojito for more bite.
Kirby? Focus.
Wait, I'm sorry, you invited Fletcher here to throw a drink in his face? You're not really the drink-throwing type.
I know.
Hi Sam.
- Fletcher.
- Just let me explain.
Yes.
I'm married.
But we have an open marriage and my husband knows everything.
There was no cheating.
I just didn't know how to tell you, because some people have a problem with it.
Well, I didn't see that coming.
Kirby? Don't you have somewhere to be? (LAUGHS) Oh, no, not really.
Look, I can't stay anyway.
I just wanted to tell you the truth in person.
And to ask if you're still interested in seeing each other? That seems like a good idea.
Great, I I'll call you later.
Okay.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Bye, Fletcher! That's a terrible idea.
Oh, says the genius who slept with Adam Carrington? FALLON: Okay, Liam will be here any minute when he gets here, he will sit down, tell me how great I look and order a drink.
At that point, I will propose, he will say yes, and on my cue, you will start playing.
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay? You got that? Yes? (WHISPERS): Okay, okay, he's here.
Go hide.
- Okay.
- Go hide faster! (CHUCKLES): Hey, look at you all clean and sweat-free.
Really? 'Cause I'm kind of freakin' out.
Oh, no, don't.
You smell great.
What? No.
No, no, no.
But I just got huge news.
- Mm-hmm.
- I have an opportunity to pitch a book idea to one of the most important publishers in the world.
Wow! Wow, that is great news.
And I can't wait to talk about it in 15 minutes.
- Could we just get you a drink? - Yeah, that's the problem.
The publisher's in London, so I have to fly out tomorrow.
So, what's the problem? I need a rain check on tonight, 'cause I have so much to do.
I need to pack, flesh out my idea, write notes.
And this has to happen tomorrow? I know it's sudden, but they're insisting.
It's an opportunity that I can't pass up.
Okay, it's fine.
Whatever.
Go.
(SIGHS): Oh, also, I'd love to borrow the jet.
So, do you think you could set that up for me while I get ready? You should come with me.
No, no.
That's fine.
I will just wait until you get back.
- Wait? - Oh, to - congratulate you, silly.
- Okay, well, - I got to run, so - Mm-hmm.
- Think on it? - Okay, I will.
("WEDDING MARCH" PLAYING) (SIGHS) Not the gesture.
I mean, the obvious move is to wait for Liam to get back and then propose to him then.
Because it has to be perfect.
Right? Totally.
So, for my date with Fletcher, I'm thinking of wearing this kind of an "Open marriage? Who cares?" vibe.
But there's also this "I'm obviously hotter than your husband" deal.
I'm legit torn.
Can you help me? Maybe I'm putting too much pressure on myself.
It doesn't have to be a perfect storybook proposal, you know? Every time I go for a fairy tale, it ends up being a disaster.
I mean, we're like Hansel and Gretel, except if the witch actually ate them in the end, and then got food poisoning.
Okay, I think you should totally go to London with him.
I mean, he clearly wants you to, and it's not like you have anything else to do here.
Interesting.
I guess I could go with him and find the perfect moment to propose.
(GASPS) I could take him to my favorite chocolate shop in the world and propose to him there.
Chocolate shop? Who are you, Willy Wonka? I could even propose on the plane.
That's interesting.
Okay, so, um which outfit? For what? Where are you going? You are seriously the worst friend.
Oh, please.
Last night you wanted to marry me.
Top from A, bottom from B, and we're gonna need an option C - for the shoes.
- Really? Anders.
I've been looking everywhere for you.
You found me.
Well done.
Now, if you don't mind I do mind.
I need some advice on Cristal.
How can I befriend her, get her to really open up to me? I'm not sure that's possible.
Also, I would consider helping you but I don't trust you.
No need to trust.
I just want to be friends with my sister-in-law.
So let's say I wanted to arrange a special dinner for her.
What would that look like? Does she have a strong feeling about kale? Mrs.
Carrington's feelings about kale are hers and hers alone.
Classic Anders.
You're like a field general unflappable in battle and always the smartest man in the room.
That's why I've had a secret crush on you for years.
I was unaware.
Well, now you know General.
At ease, Soldier.
If you do want to have this dinner, Mrs.
Carrington has an affinity for roasted pork.
May I please go about my business now? Of course.
Whoa! We're going for one night.
Hey, you never know what could happen.
We could have a reason to celebrate and stay longer.
Celebrate? Oh.
You know, if they buy your book idea.
(CHUCKLING): Are you okay? I've just never seen you be so giddy about my career.
Even when you were my publisher.
(LAUGHS SOFTLY) But it feels nice to be supported.
No.
Well, I am always supportive.
Sometimes it's just a little less obvious.
But I think this trip is gonna be a memorable one for both of us.
- Let's go to London.
- (LAUGHS SOFTLY) FLETCHER: I got three local affiliates to cover the event, plus HGTV.
And then I hit a nun with a taxi.
What? Is everything okay? No.
I can't stop thinking of your husband.
Hey, look, I assure you my husband is not thinking of you.
No offense.
And the open marriage was his idea.
But I'm-I'm fine with it.
Are you positive? I am.
Yeah, it works.
Can you tell me what time it is? Aren't you wearing a watch? I'd rather hear you say it.
(LAUGHS) What is this? Oh.
Wow.
This is beautiful.
Thank you.
For everything.
JENNINGS: Dominique? Welcome home, Cristal.
Okay, that's a little creepy.
I just wanted to document tonight.
I thought you might be hungry from your long trip, so I catered in a small feast for us.
It's from the best barbecue joint in Atlanta.
We have pork ribs and pulled pork and smoked sausages and even pigs in a blanket for fun.
What the hell is going on here? I want us to spend time together.
And after dessert, I brought in the dream team of beauticians.
We can get manis and pedis and waxing together, just like sisters.
This is all insane.
- Plus, I'm allergic to pork.
- What? I need to get out of here.
I have to go lie down.
How about on those massage tables? We could get a couples massage and chat? So this is nice, right? I would like to make a toast to you Liam.
Actually, hold that thought, save the toast.
- I got a better idea.
- I'm pretty sure you don't.
No, this is perfect.
I need to practice my pitch.
All right, this project could be life-changing for me, and I I need to nail it in the room.
- Mm-hmm.
- And since we're gonna be here for a while, I mean, why not do it now, right? It's so perfect.
Okay, so any feedback is appreciated characters, plot, anything.
- I'm starting to wish I was in coach.
- Okay.
Yeah.
Sorry.
I'll start.
(SIGHS) It started on a day like any other.
I was tying up loose ends on a nasty espionage case when a rich nightclub owner showed himself in like he owned the place.
They say you're a pretty good private detective, Leland.
Some say I'm the best, pal.
Some say you were the best.
Well, some say Okay, we could do this all day.
- Get to the point.
- There was a jewelry heist at my nightclub.
Since I'd rather not have the cops involved, I want you on the case.
I know you and your nightclub, Mr.
Sanders.
I'm not interested in the case.
A P.
I.
turning down a case? Not something you see every day.
Yeah, well, I got my reasons.
There's not a damn thing you can do to change my mind.
We'll see about that.
Blaine, get in here! Tout de suite! Sorry, sir.
I didn't hear you at first.
- Get a hearing aid.
- Yeah.
Please change the gentleman's mind.
Oh, yeah.
Uh Where's your mind at now, Leland? Nice plate of greens is good for a man's diet.
I'm on the case.
That Peach Diamond is priceless.
It's my baby.
I want you to nab the thief and return Kirby to me.
It's what I call the diamond.
Oh.
So you put the diamond in the safe in your office.
And then the power goes out.
SANDERS: I'll bet my last buffalo nickel it was the new busboy, Aidan, that stole it.
He's more suspicious than a three-legged cat, and he skipped town right after the robbery.
Well, it's always an inside job.
Except when it isn't.
How much is your fee again? I'll ask the questions, Sanders.
Such as, why'd you keep such a hot rock in your club instead of your home safe? I don't trust anybody there, either.
Right.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the fabulous Club Sanders.
Magic is in the air every night here, but tonight, my friends, the magic is real.
So I'm gonna need you beautiful people to show some deep love to the extravagant, the exquisite, the vivacious Miss Veronica Cabot.
(PIANO PLAYS INTRO TO SINATRA'S "WHY TRY TO CHANGE ME NOW") I'm sentimental So I walk in the rain I've got some habits LELAND: I only had one reason for not taking the case, but it was a doozy.
Veronica, the one I gave my heart to, only to have her chew it up, spit it out, kick it to the curb and drive over it with a steamroller twice.
Try to change me now? So let people wonder Let 'em laugh Let 'em frown You know I'll love you Till the moon's upside down Don't you remember I was always your clown Why try to change me Why would you want to change me? LELAND: Every drop of blood in my veins told me to bolt out of there and never look back, but my eyes wouldn't let me leave, and my heart started ripping through my shirt.
(SONG ENDS) (APPLAUSE) - (DRINK POURING) - LIAM: So, how do you like it so far? Well, I have to be honest.
It was a little meh at first.
But then, the lounge singer came in, and it got much more exciting.
Okay, just wait.
Mm-hmm.
Hmm.
(APPLAUSE) LELAND: I knew I had to interview everyone in the joint, so I stopped staring and started talking.
Sure I was drinking here that night, but I have no alibi, because I come and go a lot.
No one ever recognizes my face.
Been slinging cocktails here forever.
I'd never steal from my boss, Sanders.
He's always been so good to me, especially when I've been so bad.
I see everything from up here on stage.
So you want to know who I saw slinking around that night the lights went out in Georgia? No one, 'cause it was pitch black.
You're never gonna find that diamond.
Where was I at the time? Easy.
I was, uh, moving the boss's car.
Filling it with gas.
Hmm.
Happy to see you, Leland.
I know you'll dig for the truth and prove the busboy didn't do it.
Because Aidan's my brother, and he's being framed like a Monet or a Manet.
I didn't know you had a brother, Veronica, or such a sweeping knowledge of art.
I'd like to chat with Aidan.
Well, of course you would, but you can't.
You see, he's hiding out until the real thief is caught.
It's too hot for him here.
You're looking good.
For whatever it's worth.
The last time you told me I was looking good was two seconds before you slammed the door on my grill.
But I'm still gonna crack this case.
But for now, maybe we keep our distance.
FALLON: Why is he being so rude to her? I mean, it's clear that the singer is the hero, and the P.
I.
should be treating her like one.
Okay, so you're invested in the story.
Mm-mm.
Uh Just keep going.
So, tell me, Lexi.
No one remembers seeing you at your husband's club the night the Peach Diamond was poached.
Believe me, darling.
If I had been there, they'd all remember seeing me.
This is a face you don't forget.
Right.
So, where were you that night? I was in bed, of course.
I can take you upstairs if you'd like to touch it.
I'm a little chilly right now.
Well, if you want to get toasty why don't you take a step closer to the fire? I don't do well with fire, mister.
But I'm really good at conducting body heat.
LELAND: I didn't have time for hanky-panky.
I don't have time for hanky-panky.
Sal! Little Joe! Get this bum out of here.
No need, ma'am.
This bum will show himself out.
But the next time you get cold? Try a light sweater.
Hey.
Why don't we take a stroll, pal.
Maybe have a little chat.
- Easy.
I bruise like a baby peach.
- Aw.
Then I'm thinking you don't show your face around here no more.
Yeah, and I'm wondering what else you two gentlemen do around here besides rough up innocent P.
I.
s.
Actually, I handle accommodations.
So if you ever need a place to stay, I can give you my card.
And I, uh, deal with Mr.
Sanders' vehicles.
See, cars are kind of my thing.
Well, something's puzzling me because No, don't! Relax.
Just gonna water these petunias.
Okay.
That's not what I thought - you were gonna say about that.
- Hey, pal.
I trust my beak, and something about you doesn't smell right.
- I didn't lay a hand on the boss's jewels.
- Maybe not, but you laid them all over the boss's wife, - didn't you? - What? That meathead Little Joe says he runs the show on Sanders' cars.
So one plus two means you lied to me about where you were the other night.
You weren't at a gas station.
Yeah.
And how'd you know I was banging the boss's wife? I didn't until you just said it.
- (EXHALES) - Guess I got a little lucky there, huh? Eh, not as lucky as me.
You've seen Lexi.
She's a knockout.
I can't imagine being married to her, but hell of a sidepiece, right? FALLON: Wait.
- What? - I'm just trying to add some flavor.
I am starting to get confused, which is not the ideal flavor you want to leave your audience with.
Can you just tell me who stole the Peach Diamond so that this can be over and I can tell you my story? My story with the happiest ending ever where everything makes sense? Sounds amazing.
But not yet.
Because things are about to get crazy in mine.
(SIGHS) (LELAND EXHALES) LELAND: The last time something this hot was in my office was when my portable wok exploded.
Funny me, thinking the lock on my door keeps people out.
Well, my key's still good, so I let myself in.
If I come up with any more questions about the case, I'll knock on your door.
But now, feel free to use that one.
Oh, I'm not here to talk about the case, Leland.
But it doesn't take a detective to know that you got tossed around like a rag doll.
Sometimes I wish I had amnesia so I could forget you existed.
(CHUCKLES) Tell me, Detective.
Do you remember this? That top lip rings a bell.
Try the bottom.
They're twins.
BLAINE: Leland.
It's me, Blaine.
I just remembered something, something big.
I need to talk to you tonight.
You know what? I just realized that I've forgotten a few details about you.
How'd you like to jog my memories? LIAM: Whoa, hey, there.
I think the story is in great shape.
I'm totally feeling the characters.
But what I want to be feeling is the author.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
- What? - No, no, we can't have sex yet.
We're almost in London, and I need to finish telling the story.
(EXHALES) Fine.
Just keep it sexy, pick up the pace and skip to the end.
("THE MAN THAT GOT AWAY" PLAYING) The night is bitter The stars have lost their glitter The winds grow colder Suddenly you're older And all because of the man That got away LELAND: There were some strange patrons in the club that night.
But I was there to get dirt out of Blaine, not to hassle some daffy mother out for a few stiff ones with the kid.
The writing's on the wall The dreams you dreamed Have all Gone astray The man that won you You said you got big news.
Well, I haven't seen the papers today, and I got a hankering for the headlines.
Has seen its final inning Don't know what happened LELAND: He was deader than Friendster.
Either poisoned or a heart attack.
Lousy night either way.
Except now I knew who did it.
I am locking it down, people! (PEOPLE GASPING) - Nobody leaves.
- Uh, should I keep singing? Nobody sings.
There was a serious crime here, and I know who did it.
The diamond heist? (PLAYS HIGH NOTES) Or the murder? (PLAYS LOW NOTES) The murder seems bigger.
Oh, please.
People get murdered left and right around here.
I was hired to catch a thief, and that's what I'm gonna do.
It was the busboy, Aidan.
That's a lie! He's gone, and he's never coming back.
Or did he come back to tie up loose ends? What, you don't see him? Maybe he's the invisible man.
- Or woman.
- (ALL GASP) - No! - WOMAN: The baby! (PEOPLE GASPING) It was a doll? (SNIFFS) Poison! I'd bet five bucks on it.
Five whole bucks? Get your mitts off me.
I did nothing, you hear? We're gonna take you in.
But first, - we're gonna take you out.
- Got to make sure justice gets served.
(CHUCKLES) Oh! I'll never let them strap you to that mean, old electric chair.
Not my brother.
LELAND: She was gone.
For good.
AIDAN: Wait.
Wait, no.
(PLANE PASSING OVERHEAD) LELAND: Smart move taking a plane, Veronica.
Sure, a bus is cheaper.
A train's more clickety-clack romantic, but they don't make you disappear like that.
What are you doing here, Leland? You picking your mom up? Well, hopefully, you'll get lucky, and her plane'll crash.
First you manipulated your brother to steal the Peach Diamond for you.
Then you manipulated Sanders to hire me, intending the trail to lead right to Aidan.
(CHUCKLES) You're even crazier than shorts with high heels.
You had to have Blaine killed when he learned the truth, which is why you told Aidan to come back.
But why would your brother ax Blaine for you? Simple.
He's not your brother.
He's your lover! (SCOFFS) That bastard.
Did he tell you that? He didn't have to.
I saw the look on his face when you gave him the ole "see you later.
" I'd recognize that look anywhere.
It's the look I saw on my face when you gave me the ole "see you later.
" Well, that makes no sense.
You can't see your own face.
I'm assuming that's how I looked, okay? The point is, like Aidan, I would've killed for you at one point, too.
(SCOFFS) You think you know everything, but you know nothing.
The only thing I don't know is what you did with the Peach Diamond.
Wouldn't happen to be in that handbag, would it? I caught you red-handed.
Peach-handed.
You got to listen to me, Leland.
I can change.
And that rock's worth millions.
Let's run away together.
Me and you, baby, till the end of time.
LELAND: I was torn.
I wanted to believe her, but she'd lied to me over and over again.
So many times.
Repeatedly.
(GRUNTS, EXHALES) (LAUGHS) You're a bigger fool than Aidan.
And he's a big fool.
Huge.
Goodbye, Leland.
I'll see you in hell.
(GUN CLICKING) I removed the bullets, Veronica.
- So who's the huge fool now? - (HANDCUFFS CLINK) Rhetorical question implying you're the huge fool.
No.
No! - (HANDCUFFS CLICK) - LELAND: It wasn't the ending I chose but the one that chose me.
Unlucky.
(TIRES SCREECH) Well, look at that.
Your pitch lasted the entire flight.
So? What'd you think? Uh, yeah, I thought it was it was good.
Good? That's it? Fallon, my pitch is in an hour.
Okay, well, tiny thought.
Maybe postpone it a few weeks or, I don't know, a year.
Why? Well, honestly, it didn't make sense in a lot of places.
Okay, like where? Like everywhere.
I mean, how did the P.
I.
suddenly figure everything out? Why was Aidan in a dress? And were Sal and Little Joe cops, or were they security guards? - I don't know.
It was all very confusing.
- Well, I don't agree.
Oh, and another thing? You made Veronica way too manipulative.
You know what? The story's solid.
- I just think you didn't understand it.
- Excuse me? It's a complex story.
Maybe you just weren't able to follow it.
Well, I'm following that you're calling me dumb right now.
Not dumb.
Just an unsophisticated reader.
Look, you can't be great at everything.
It's fine.
You know what? Go pitch your stupid story, but do not come crying to me when they "chew it up and spit it out.
Twice.
" Fletcher's married, Sam.
How could he possibly be serious about you, the person he's not married to? Well, my, uh, new, insanely beautiful watch says pretty serious to me.
Mm.
"I can't give you my undivided love, so I'll give you a sparkly timepiece.
" Can you please just be supportive? I really care about him, and I'm pretty sure that the whole open marriage situation won't last long, which means that the marriage won't, either.
Fletcher's probably totally gonna leave his husband.
He said this? Or is this just what you're hoping will happen? Kirby, I think I'm falling in love with him.
And I think he's falling in love with me, too.
Congratulations.
You fooled the hell out of me with that whole "Cristal loves pork" thing.
Oh.
Must have slipped my mind that she's allergic.
I should've known better than to try to get info on Cristal from such a loyal man.
Is there something I can help you with? - Have Mrs.
Gunnerson prepare you a sandwich? - (CHAMPAGNE POURING) Do I look like the type of person who would eat a sandwich? No, I'm going upstairs to take Cristal some champagne.
Nothing says bonding better than Cristal and Dom.
Clever.
(QUIETLY): I'll see you in 20.
Well, I guess I'll see you in 21.
ALEXIS: I'm sorry, Adam.
I did everything I could to get Jeff to give you the money.
It's fine.
I hated the idea of owing him anything anyway, so The great news is Jeff and I have a plan.
And once it goes perfectly, I will have more than enough money to buy you a license in Georgia, Montana.
Hell, I'll buy you a license in all 50 states.
That's very sweet, Mother.
But that sounds like it'll take time.
My plan is ready to go.
- Do tell.
- So, I'm gonna sell the vineyard I bought for Blake and use that money to pay off whomever to get my medical license back.
Isn't the vineyard Blake's? But the deed's in my name.
We never changed it.
So what are you waiting for? So, while the deed is in my name, it's also in Blake's office.
In the manor.
Which I'm banned from.
But if I can just get my hands on it, then Blake would have no recourse when I sell.
Well, maybe there's something I can do.
Nah.
I said "recourse," not "intercourse.
" (KNOCKING) (GASPING) Somebody has a secret lover.
KIRBY: Playing hide-and-seek? (WHISPERS): Kirby, what are you doing here? I live here.
Question is, what are you doing here? Clearly not looking for me.
Or texting me.
I feel terrible about that.
- Really? - That's why I came.
For an in-person apology.
(SCOFFS) Why should I believe a word you say? - Why would I lie about being excited to see you? - Eh.
That does sound like it could be true.
So, should I take you up to my room and show you pics of Australia or just throw you on my bed? I was thinking about something a little more dangerous.
- How do you get this Sorry.
- Shut up! Oh! (EXHALES) That was insane.
Yeah.
I've never had anyone do the I learned that in Montana.
Ah.
Bear country.
- Mm-hmm.
- That makes sense.
Yeah.
This has to be the last time we do this.
It's just it's-it's too complicated and messy.
Yeah.
I agree.
Except not really.
You should go first.
All right? (CHUCKLES) I'm not going anywhere until you tell me why you're really here.
Well, I know it wasn't to see me.
Or even to see me naked.
I'm here for the deed to the vineyard, and I found it.
Good for you.
But you know if you need something stolen from the manor, you can always just ask me.
(ELEVATOR DINGS) LIAM: Fallon.
Welcome to London.
What are you doing here? Did they already reject your pitch in record time? I wish I could say I was sorry, but I didn't go.
See, I had to tell you the real end of the story.
The P.
I.
had the Peach Diamond the whole time.
Okay, you know how confused I was before? Well, this isn't helping.
Can I please go in the room now? Sure.
("JUST LIKE HEAVEN" PLAYING) What? - No.
- (CHUCKLES) Can I at least ask the question first? (GASPS) Fallon Carrington, will you marry me? No.
Wait.
Not until you tell me what the hell is going on here.
Well, I just proposed to you.
There's no pitch.
I made the story up on the plane.
I saw your ring yesterday, and I wanted to be the one to propose to you this time.
Wait, you knew I was about to propose and you didn't let me? That's so rude.
See, I knew if you were pissed off at me, you wouldn't propose, so I pretended like you didn't understand the story, because I know you like to be the smartest person in the room.
Well, I don't like it.
It's more of a curse, really.
And it worked.
I'll run away with you You're surprised.
I'll run away with you So, what do you say? "Let's run away together, baby.
Me and you.
" - "Till the end of time.
" - You Soft and only You Lost and lonely You Just like heaven.
I'm worried about my friend Sam.
He's falling in love with you, and he thinks the feeling is mutual.
He's right.
I'm crazy about him.
Never met anybody like Sam.
He's so fun but also amazingly deep and gentle.
And hot.
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY) Oh.
So if you came here to get me to dump him, no way.
I didn't come here to get you to break up with him.
I came here to get you to be honest with him about where this is going.
And if you really think he's that special, you need to do the right thing, no matter how hard it is.
(QUIETLY): Mm-hmm.
JENNINGS: I paid you half when we met in Mexico.
Here's the other half.
Got a picture for me? This woman killed my ex-lover and my unborn baby and tried to put my husband in jail.
There needs to be a price for her actions.
I'm pretty sure this is the ultimate price.
(SOFT CHATTER) Hey.
Hey.
I just talked to Fletcher.
And? Oh, no.
- He dumped me.
- He did not.
I was there.
What did he say? Some crap about how his husband can't handle it and he's jealous and that I didn't deserve to be in the middle of this messy situation, which should make me feel better.
But it doesn't.
I'm sorry, Sam.
You deserve so much better than that.
I know.
Hey.
Where have you been? Your cell kept going to voice mail.
Oh.
Um, the battery died.
Sorry about that.
But I'm here now.
Okay What are you up to? I just had to take care of a few personal things with my family.
But everything's back on track now.
Can I just say how proud I am of you for not murdering Dominique yet? I am all about self-control.
- (GLASSES CLINK) - (CHUCKLING) Mm.
This makes me so happy, I almost forgot that I got dumped earlier.
Oh, wait, I got to tell you the best part of the story.
Oh, you mean the part where I knew you were gonna propose and I made sure Fallon got on that plane to London? What? You knew and you didn't tell me? - Great part.
- LIAM: Not the best part.
No.
The best part being when you proposed and I said yes, right? I was thinking more about the part where I totally fooled you.
FALLON: Right.
But which is the best part of the story that you'll be telling for decades? You said yes.
I said yes.
Well, love may not have worked out for me, but I could not be happier for you two.
Oh.
I'll never dump you, Sam.
- (CHUCKLES) - Thanks, bro.
Well, I would love to stay and soak all of this in, but I do have a re-engagement party to plan.
- Mwah.
Let's talk.
- Let's go.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER) Baby, I need your touch I wanna lose control Heidi? Hello, Liam.
What are you doing here? Been a long time, right? Since Switzerland.
I think the last time we spoke was when I told you I was putting the baby up for adoption.
Look, is there something you want? Something I can help you with? That's my son, Connor.
Our son, Connor.
It's time he meets his father.