Gintama (2005) s03e13 Episode Script
A Birthday in Your Twenties Has No Deep Meaning / Lucky Is a Man Who Gets Up and Goes to Work
[KatsuraTama.]
[Yeaaaaaaahhhhh Hooooooooo!!.]
[Presented by OEDO Music.]
[Happy Birthday to me-by Katsura.]
[Presented by VIPER manufacturing.]
["Birthdays In Your Twenties Don't Have Any Deep Meanings".]
[Congratulations Kotaro Katsura-kun by Kotaro.]
Happy Birthday to me! Today, June 26 is my, Kotaro Katsura's, birthday.
So today, during the final week of Katsura Enrichment Month, we will be airing 30 full minutes of "KatsuraTama.
" Now I know you're all anxious to see it, so let's start with the answer to last week's question.
Cut that out, you! "Katsura Enrichment Month" my ass! What's with "KatsuraTama"?! Can't even pronounce it! You could've at least named it "ZuraTama"! I'm not Zura, I'm Katsura.
Don't be so cold, Gintoki.
Aren't we "brothers" who fought together in the Anti-Foreigner War? Shut up! I'm not gonna put up with your crap! In the first place, it's your fault the show was on a two-week hiatus at the start of this month! Just when the Crisis Arc ended [What's last week's answer?.]
and I was feeling victorious the way the main character should, [I'm curious.
.]
look what you've done! Oh, that's such a small problem between "bros.
" Hey! Cut out this whole "brother" thing! Just how delusional are you? 100% delusional? [Hurry up, dummy!.]
Shall we be on our way, Elizabeth? Don't ignore me! Then let's begin the "Find Katsura in Four Places In Last Week's Episode Quiz"! It was love at first sight! The first place is Here! Could you tell? You couldn't? Okay, let's move on to the next one.
The second place is Well, all kinds of things were happening, but it was good for Agomi-san.
Sort of.
Right.
Here! Maybe you knew that one.
Okay, let's move on to the next one.
The third place is Here! Okay, you got all three correct so far.
You're just one step away from joining the Anti-Foreigner Faction.
Okay, let's move on to the last one.
The fourth is Hey, where was it? I didn't see it.
What? You couldn't find it? Okay, we'll play that again.
Yes, here it is! Quit monkeying with me! Damn youthat's different from the first video! There was no way I could've found it! We are bruddahs No, we're not! I've had enough of this! You piss me off! This is what I'm going to do with "ZuraTama"-I'm ending it! There! [There will be no next time.
.]
What're you doing?! Stop it! Don't end it! Okay, next we have Ging Kong and [Note: Spoof of Gintoki's closing phrase "next is King Kong.
".]
Enough already! [All told, this is the end of Katsura Enrichment Month.
.]
[We did that on a whim.
We regret it.
.]
Kagura, the door.
Good morning.
I've come to collect Gintoki Sakata-sama's rent.
If he does not exit the premises before I finish my song, I will resort to the use of force.
If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.
If you're happy and you know it Wait, wait, wait.
Just a minute! ["Lucky Is a Man Who Gets Up and Goes to Work".]
One, two, three House repairs and three months rent-it's all here.
Well done, Tama.
There'll be extra oil for dinner tonight.
Thank you very much, Otose-sama.
Why'd you arm a robot maid with those weapons? I had old man Gengai modify her for rent collection.
Modify her? Look, old lady, she caused a coup d'etat and all of her kind were destroyed.
She's an illegal robot that you're not supposed to have.
Don't make her do anything that'll attract a lot of attention.
You'll be arrested.
What're you talking about? You're the one who brought her here.
I'll be fine.
I'm used to looking after people with questionable pasts.
Hmph.
She's not a dog or a cat, you know.
She's a big help.
She works hard, and she's considerate.
And there's that face.
She's popular with my customers.
She's become my most popular girl.
The way I see it, though, she's still naïve.
Hey! Bucket of bolts! A light! You're supposed to give me a light when I take out a cigarette! Forgive me.
There's just one thing Huh? I like the fact that she works hard, but that girl only works for people and doesn't ever think about herself.
She's a robot, you know.
What the hell did you do that for?! No, I realize that, but the more I watch her, the worse I feel for her.
I wonder if she's finding it arduous and tiring.
She's a robot, you know.
That doesn't matter.
Robot or cat burglar, I think of them as my daughters.
I want them to enjoy life.
She's a robot, you know.
When are they going to run the next Hanger x Hanger? [Note: Parody of Shonen JUMP's Hunter x Hunter.
.]
Keeping me in suspense like that! They say "we'll be right back," but kids and old people sense time at different rates, you know! Huh? What're you doing? Otose-sama told me to take a break once in a while.
She gave me 72 hours -no, 69 hours But a robot maid's job is to work for people.
So you've been sitting here doing nothing for two-and-a-half hours?! Gintoki-sama, what exactly am I supposed to be doing on a break? Did Otose-sama dispose of me? The old lady probably wants you to let loose and have some personal time.
Though I think it's a cruel thing to say to a robot.
What do I let loose? What you do isyou knowrest.
What do I do to rest? Stop nagging me! If you don't have anything to do, then don't do anything.
The idea is to be at your most relaxed.
I understand.
I should do nothing, correct? Right, exactly.
See you.
You really don't understand! You're hopeless! Hopeless! Someone who works really hard knows how to let the air out sometimes! Let the air out? I'm a robot, so I do not pass gas.
I'm not talking about farts! What I'm trying to say is that a balloon will burst if it's full of too much air.
To inflate it again, you have to let out some air.
Understand? Does your balloon have a hole in it, Gintoki-sama? I've never seen it full.
My balloon is bigger than other people's.
That's why it doesn't fill up.
I'm going to whack you, you bucket of bolts! I'll add that to my data.
Gintoki-sama's bag will not swell even if he dies.
So how, specifically, do I let out air? Isn't there somewhere you'd like to go or something you'd like to do? I'm a robot.
I want to help people.
No, what I meant was The way you've been doing things, I'll bet you haven't even touched the wages the old lady paid you.
That's right.
I received oil as board.
Just out of curiosity, how much do you have? [Cabaret Smile.]
Can I order a fruit plate? I want to drink cassis orange.
Sure.
Order anything you want.
What is this place? A place to drink, make merry, and enjoy yourself.
Why is drinking and merrymaking enjoyable? Because it takes your mind off the gloom, of course.
What is "gloom"? There are so many things I do not know.
Do you think I should request additional memory? What you lack isn't memory; you lack fun! Anyway, I'm enjoying myself.
By allowing me to enjoy myself, you're helping me.
Do you understand? If you are enjoying yourself, Gintoki-sama, then I think that is good.
However, all I am doing is sitting, so it is uncomfortable for me.
I feel a desire to work.
Is there any work I can do? Forget it! Sitting here is the customer's "work.
" Oh, Gin-san is that you? Tsk.
Who is this? I am Gintoki-sama's enjoyment.
What? That's not right! Be more specific! To be more specific, in order for Gintoki-sama to enjoy himself, I am suppressing the desires that well up inside of me, and I have been ordered to sit still.
Just a minute.
What? That's not it! Not it! That's not how it is! What is that look in your eyes, like you've seen something immoral and illegal?! Like I'm an old man who tricked a young girl and brought her to a hostess club to enjoy her reaction.
That sort of perverted play? This establishment does not allow individuals who violate public order and morals.
Wait! Wait! Wait! She's a robot.
She had all this money saved up and said she didn't know how to enjoy spending it, so I Oh? So what you're saying is She's a robot and ignorant about dealing with money, so you're taking advantage and making her pay for your amusement? Right, right! You should be ashamed! Regardless of whether she's a robot or whatever, a guy who tries to trick a woman out of her money deserves to have his butt hairs yanked out.
By the end of tomorrow, bring every last yen of the money you spent today.
Do come again.
Gintoki-sama, part of you does inflate all the way Your face.
Isn't there anything you want? You have the money, so why don't you buy something you want? Something I want? Yeah.
There's no such thing as a woman who hates shopping, right? I'll show you around.
You're always wearing the same clothes.
Wear something fashionable now and then.
How about this one? Hey you, the creepy clerk over there-sell me this cheap.
There's a booger on it.
You're the one who put it there! Read the situation, you creep.
This child, with her entry-level salary, wants to buy a kimono for mother back home in the country What're you talking about? What girl? Huh? Buy this! You booger brain! Hey, what're you doing? Did you find something you want? [Sale! Screws 300 yen each.]
No, Inever mind.
It's not that I want it or anything.
I forgot to bring my money.
I see.
Then let's go Hey, you're dripping something.
It's nothing.
It's just oil.
Okay, I get it! Which is it? Which one do you want? Okay, already, I'll buy it for you! But why a screw?! This one feels solid in my hand, but this one is hard to put down, as well.
Which one do you think matches me better? They're both the same! They're completely different.
Fella, could you be searching for an engagement screw? What's an engagement screw? Never heard of it.
You have good taste, Miss, for choosing that screw.
That one has a story behind it.
[Note: Parody of famous story.
Hideyoshi Toyotomi heated his lord, Nobunaga's straw sandals in his pocket.
.]
That screw was part of the machine that built the machine [This was filmed under expert supervision.
Please do not try this yourselves.
.]
that built the microwave oven that Hideyoshi Toyotomi, concerned about his lord's feet, used one cold winter night to heat Nobunaga's straw sandals.
That's about as ordinary a screw as they come! Why was Hideyoshi nuking a pair of straw sandals, anyway?! Let's go! Fenis monjaa! [Note: Gibberish that sounds like the "Gonna Fly Now" song from the Rocky movie.
.]
Okay, now unwind your body.
All right.
Relax I drank too much oil.
I told you, you shouldn't mix high-octane with regular! I'm sorry.
I tried so hard to let loose.
Gintoki-sama.
Did I succeed? It's not about trying to let loose.
But I'm a robot, so if I'm not of any use to anyone, there's no reason for me to exist.
You and Otose-sama have tried so hard to help me.
If I don't live up to your expectations You know Thank you for buying me this screw.
Yeah Do you know just how many people's lives this screw is supporting? It's the basis for creating the framework of all sorts of things like houses and vehicles.
There is nothing that better personifies the spirit of desiring to be helpful to people.
This is how we robots want to be.
We want to be the screw that supports society.
The screw is the symbol of our spirit.
Tama, look.
Maybe household appliances need to have it all together in order to be useful.
But there are those that fulfill their purpose simply by being there, simply by smiling.
Well, I wouldn't expect you to understand.
Sorry about forcing you to hang out with me.
Let's go home.
Mister, this thing's broken.
Huh? What? The mole broke because you hit it too hard.
Don't blame us! Mister, we want our money back! Hey, Tama, what're you doing? Poor thing.
I'm sure it still wanted to be useful to people.
Hey, Tama! Go on back without me, Gintoki-sama.
I don't know what you're doing, but come home quickly.
Don't blame me if the old lady kills you.
[Odd Jobs Gin.]
Gintoki! It's Tama! She hasn't come back since yesterday! Do you know something?! Tsk.
Where could she have gone? But I'm a robot, so if I'm not of any use to anyone, there's no reason for me to exist.
I hope she doesn't get the wrong idea.
Poor thing.
You still probably want to be of use to people, don't you? We did it! We hit the girl! A robot can smile like that? Man, I've really stuck my nose where I shouldn't have.
When she's surrounded by smiles that's when she's at her best.
Gintoki-sama.
When I have another day off, please allow me to let loose with you again.
Hey! Beer! Coming right up.
Here, Otose-sama.
What're you doing here? I said that you didn't have to come to work today.
That's all right.
Hey! Beer! Coming! Hold on.
She's a hopeless child [Preview.]
Huh? Clean the toilets? Hijikata-san, what a disgusting thing to talk about before suppertime.
You're already disgusting enough.
What?! The next episode "Cleaning the Toilet Cleanses the Soul.
"
[Yeaaaaaaahhhhh Hooooooooo!!.]
[Presented by OEDO Music.]
[Happy Birthday to me-by Katsura.]
[Presented by VIPER manufacturing.]
["Birthdays In Your Twenties Don't Have Any Deep Meanings".]
[Congratulations Kotaro Katsura-kun by Kotaro.]
Happy Birthday to me! Today, June 26 is my, Kotaro Katsura's, birthday.
So today, during the final week of Katsura Enrichment Month, we will be airing 30 full minutes of "KatsuraTama.
" Now I know you're all anxious to see it, so let's start with the answer to last week's question.
Cut that out, you! "Katsura Enrichment Month" my ass! What's with "KatsuraTama"?! Can't even pronounce it! You could've at least named it "ZuraTama"! I'm not Zura, I'm Katsura.
Don't be so cold, Gintoki.
Aren't we "brothers" who fought together in the Anti-Foreigner War? Shut up! I'm not gonna put up with your crap! In the first place, it's your fault the show was on a two-week hiatus at the start of this month! Just when the Crisis Arc ended [What's last week's answer?.]
and I was feeling victorious the way the main character should, [I'm curious.
.]
look what you've done! Oh, that's such a small problem between "bros.
" Hey! Cut out this whole "brother" thing! Just how delusional are you? 100% delusional? [Hurry up, dummy!.]
Shall we be on our way, Elizabeth? Don't ignore me! Then let's begin the "Find Katsura in Four Places In Last Week's Episode Quiz"! It was love at first sight! The first place is Here! Could you tell? You couldn't? Okay, let's move on to the next one.
The second place is Well, all kinds of things were happening, but it was good for Agomi-san.
Sort of.
Right.
Here! Maybe you knew that one.
Okay, let's move on to the next one.
The third place is Here! Okay, you got all three correct so far.
You're just one step away from joining the Anti-Foreigner Faction.
Okay, let's move on to the last one.
The fourth is Hey, where was it? I didn't see it.
What? You couldn't find it? Okay, we'll play that again.
Yes, here it is! Quit monkeying with me! Damn youthat's different from the first video! There was no way I could've found it! We are bruddahs No, we're not! I've had enough of this! You piss me off! This is what I'm going to do with "ZuraTama"-I'm ending it! There! [There will be no next time.
.]
What're you doing?! Stop it! Don't end it! Okay, next we have Ging Kong and [Note: Spoof of Gintoki's closing phrase "next is King Kong.
".]
Enough already! [All told, this is the end of Katsura Enrichment Month.
.]
[We did that on a whim.
We regret it.
.]
Kagura, the door.
Good morning.
I've come to collect Gintoki Sakata-sama's rent.
If he does not exit the premises before I finish my song, I will resort to the use of force.
If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.
If you're happy and you know it Wait, wait, wait.
Just a minute! ["Lucky Is a Man Who Gets Up and Goes to Work".]
One, two, three House repairs and three months rent-it's all here.
Well done, Tama.
There'll be extra oil for dinner tonight.
Thank you very much, Otose-sama.
Why'd you arm a robot maid with those weapons? I had old man Gengai modify her for rent collection.
Modify her? Look, old lady, she caused a coup d'etat and all of her kind were destroyed.
She's an illegal robot that you're not supposed to have.
Don't make her do anything that'll attract a lot of attention.
You'll be arrested.
What're you talking about? You're the one who brought her here.
I'll be fine.
I'm used to looking after people with questionable pasts.
Hmph.
She's not a dog or a cat, you know.
She's a big help.
She works hard, and she's considerate.
And there's that face.
She's popular with my customers.
She's become my most popular girl.
The way I see it, though, she's still naïve.
Hey! Bucket of bolts! A light! You're supposed to give me a light when I take out a cigarette! Forgive me.
There's just one thing Huh? I like the fact that she works hard, but that girl only works for people and doesn't ever think about herself.
She's a robot, you know.
What the hell did you do that for?! No, I realize that, but the more I watch her, the worse I feel for her.
I wonder if she's finding it arduous and tiring.
She's a robot, you know.
That doesn't matter.
Robot or cat burglar, I think of them as my daughters.
I want them to enjoy life.
She's a robot, you know.
When are they going to run the next Hanger x Hanger? [Note: Parody of Shonen JUMP's Hunter x Hunter.
.]
Keeping me in suspense like that! They say "we'll be right back," but kids and old people sense time at different rates, you know! Huh? What're you doing? Otose-sama told me to take a break once in a while.
She gave me 72 hours -no, 69 hours But a robot maid's job is to work for people.
So you've been sitting here doing nothing for two-and-a-half hours?! Gintoki-sama, what exactly am I supposed to be doing on a break? Did Otose-sama dispose of me? The old lady probably wants you to let loose and have some personal time.
Though I think it's a cruel thing to say to a robot.
What do I let loose? What you do isyou knowrest.
What do I do to rest? Stop nagging me! If you don't have anything to do, then don't do anything.
The idea is to be at your most relaxed.
I understand.
I should do nothing, correct? Right, exactly.
See you.
You really don't understand! You're hopeless! Hopeless! Someone who works really hard knows how to let the air out sometimes! Let the air out? I'm a robot, so I do not pass gas.
I'm not talking about farts! What I'm trying to say is that a balloon will burst if it's full of too much air.
To inflate it again, you have to let out some air.
Understand? Does your balloon have a hole in it, Gintoki-sama? I've never seen it full.
My balloon is bigger than other people's.
That's why it doesn't fill up.
I'm going to whack you, you bucket of bolts! I'll add that to my data.
Gintoki-sama's bag will not swell even if he dies.
So how, specifically, do I let out air? Isn't there somewhere you'd like to go or something you'd like to do? I'm a robot.
I want to help people.
No, what I meant was The way you've been doing things, I'll bet you haven't even touched the wages the old lady paid you.
That's right.
I received oil as board.
Just out of curiosity, how much do you have? [Cabaret Smile.]
Can I order a fruit plate? I want to drink cassis orange.
Sure.
Order anything you want.
What is this place? A place to drink, make merry, and enjoy yourself.
Why is drinking and merrymaking enjoyable? Because it takes your mind off the gloom, of course.
What is "gloom"? There are so many things I do not know.
Do you think I should request additional memory? What you lack isn't memory; you lack fun! Anyway, I'm enjoying myself.
By allowing me to enjoy myself, you're helping me.
Do you understand? If you are enjoying yourself, Gintoki-sama, then I think that is good.
However, all I am doing is sitting, so it is uncomfortable for me.
I feel a desire to work.
Is there any work I can do? Forget it! Sitting here is the customer's "work.
" Oh, Gin-san is that you? Tsk.
Who is this? I am Gintoki-sama's enjoyment.
What? That's not right! Be more specific! To be more specific, in order for Gintoki-sama to enjoy himself, I am suppressing the desires that well up inside of me, and I have been ordered to sit still.
Just a minute.
What? That's not it! Not it! That's not how it is! What is that look in your eyes, like you've seen something immoral and illegal?! Like I'm an old man who tricked a young girl and brought her to a hostess club to enjoy her reaction.
That sort of perverted play? This establishment does not allow individuals who violate public order and morals.
Wait! Wait! Wait! She's a robot.
She had all this money saved up and said she didn't know how to enjoy spending it, so I Oh? So what you're saying is She's a robot and ignorant about dealing with money, so you're taking advantage and making her pay for your amusement? Right, right! You should be ashamed! Regardless of whether she's a robot or whatever, a guy who tries to trick a woman out of her money deserves to have his butt hairs yanked out.
By the end of tomorrow, bring every last yen of the money you spent today.
Do come again.
Gintoki-sama, part of you does inflate all the way Your face.
Isn't there anything you want? You have the money, so why don't you buy something you want? Something I want? Yeah.
There's no such thing as a woman who hates shopping, right? I'll show you around.
You're always wearing the same clothes.
Wear something fashionable now and then.
How about this one? Hey you, the creepy clerk over there-sell me this cheap.
There's a booger on it.
You're the one who put it there! Read the situation, you creep.
This child, with her entry-level salary, wants to buy a kimono for mother back home in the country What're you talking about? What girl? Huh? Buy this! You booger brain! Hey, what're you doing? Did you find something you want? [Sale! Screws 300 yen each.]
No, Inever mind.
It's not that I want it or anything.
I forgot to bring my money.
I see.
Then let's go Hey, you're dripping something.
It's nothing.
It's just oil.
Okay, I get it! Which is it? Which one do you want? Okay, already, I'll buy it for you! But why a screw?! This one feels solid in my hand, but this one is hard to put down, as well.
Which one do you think matches me better? They're both the same! They're completely different.
Fella, could you be searching for an engagement screw? What's an engagement screw? Never heard of it.
You have good taste, Miss, for choosing that screw.
That one has a story behind it.
[Note: Parody of famous story.
Hideyoshi Toyotomi heated his lord, Nobunaga's straw sandals in his pocket.
.]
That screw was part of the machine that built the machine [This was filmed under expert supervision.
Please do not try this yourselves.
.]
that built the microwave oven that Hideyoshi Toyotomi, concerned about his lord's feet, used one cold winter night to heat Nobunaga's straw sandals.
That's about as ordinary a screw as they come! Why was Hideyoshi nuking a pair of straw sandals, anyway?! Let's go! Fenis monjaa! [Note: Gibberish that sounds like the "Gonna Fly Now" song from the Rocky movie.
.]
Okay, now unwind your body.
All right.
Relax I drank too much oil.
I told you, you shouldn't mix high-octane with regular! I'm sorry.
I tried so hard to let loose.
Gintoki-sama.
Did I succeed? It's not about trying to let loose.
But I'm a robot, so if I'm not of any use to anyone, there's no reason for me to exist.
You and Otose-sama have tried so hard to help me.
If I don't live up to your expectations You know Thank you for buying me this screw.
Yeah Do you know just how many people's lives this screw is supporting? It's the basis for creating the framework of all sorts of things like houses and vehicles.
There is nothing that better personifies the spirit of desiring to be helpful to people.
This is how we robots want to be.
We want to be the screw that supports society.
The screw is the symbol of our spirit.
Tama, look.
Maybe household appliances need to have it all together in order to be useful.
But there are those that fulfill their purpose simply by being there, simply by smiling.
Well, I wouldn't expect you to understand.
Sorry about forcing you to hang out with me.
Let's go home.
Mister, this thing's broken.
Huh? What? The mole broke because you hit it too hard.
Don't blame us! Mister, we want our money back! Hey, Tama, what're you doing? Poor thing.
I'm sure it still wanted to be useful to people.
Hey, Tama! Go on back without me, Gintoki-sama.
I don't know what you're doing, but come home quickly.
Don't blame me if the old lady kills you.
[Odd Jobs Gin.]
Gintoki! It's Tama! She hasn't come back since yesterday! Do you know something?! Tsk.
Where could she have gone? But I'm a robot, so if I'm not of any use to anyone, there's no reason for me to exist.
I hope she doesn't get the wrong idea.
Poor thing.
You still probably want to be of use to people, don't you? We did it! We hit the girl! A robot can smile like that? Man, I've really stuck my nose where I shouldn't have.
When she's surrounded by smiles that's when she's at her best.
Gintoki-sama.
When I have another day off, please allow me to let loose with you again.
Hey! Beer! Coming right up.
Here, Otose-sama.
What're you doing here? I said that you didn't have to come to work today.
That's all right.
Hey! Beer! Coming! Hold on.
She's a hopeless child [Preview.]
Huh? Clean the toilets? Hijikata-san, what a disgusting thing to talk about before suppertime.
You're already disgusting enough.
What?! The next episode "Cleaning the Toilet Cleanses the Soul.
"