Home Economics (2021) s03e13 Episode Script

Sarah, we're so happy to have you back.
So the trip was a success?
Oh, yeah, the Sacramento
Children's Theatre
did a wonderful job of
putting up "Unsung Sheroes,"
and I didn't kill my parents
while I was staying with them.
- Bravo to that.
- Here, here.
Mm-hmm.
So what did I miss?
What's new with you guys?
Well, I'm actually
starting my new novel.
It's a bit of a departure.
Let me ask you something.
In a futuristic society where
everyone's assigned a number,
what happens when
you're assigned a letter?
W is about to find out.
Just to clarify, we're not in it, right?
- This is not about us?
- No, no.
It's an allegory for
the refugee crisis
- I don't need to know.
- More than I need to hear.
Okay.
Something fun "gong on" with me.
So, Marina, how is the design business?
Pretty good.
I have two new projects
with a new contractor,
and no, he is not hot.
Yeah, total uggo. It rocks.
Well, um, today we have
our first IVF appointment.
- Oh, whoa.
- Yes.
So after all of those month and months
of planning and saving
And now that we are super
flush with all of that
- children's theatre money
- Mm-hmm.
It's happening!
Wow, that's such exciting news.
Gong-gratulations.
Okay, fine.
Connor, what's up with the fancy gong?
It was a gift from my financial advisor
to motivate my rise back to the top.
And how many millions has
this magic gong brought you?
I haven't even hit it yet.
I wanted the first one
to be for all of us.
- Aww.
- That's actually sweet.
So here's to Marina's new job,
Tom's new book,
Sarah and Denise's
first IVF appointment,
and, most importantly,
my re-crushing of the business world.
- Earthquake!
- Kids, under the table now.
Everybody, stay calm!
Earthquake! Earthquake!
- You two, under the table.
- Okay, okay.
Drop, cover, and hold on.
Protect your head and your neck,
and do not attempt to exit the building.
- Honey.
- Earthquake! Earthquake!
I got gonged!
I didn't cause that, right?
Kids are fine.
They're already back on their phones.
I told them to save their
batteries, but they ignored me.
So yeah, totally back to normal.
I think I'm probably fine too.
- No, Sarah, take it easy.
- Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
Nope. I'm not fine. I'm not fine.
Okay, maybe we should postpone
our doctor's appointment.
No. Dr. Patel is so in demand.
We'll never get another appointment.
It's fine. I can just
text them and reschedule.
Yeah, don't be a hero.
Okay, everyone. Back
up. Give me some space.
Let's get you bandaged up, little lady.
Whoa, what's with the hat
and the vest and everything?
Oh, it's part of my emergency go bag.
We've got a first aid
kit, hand crank radio,
water, flashlight, inflatable tent,
inflatable hammock,
inflatable vest, jerky
You had all that in your trunk?
All right, it's swelling,
but the cut's not too deep.
I'm gonna clean it,
I'm gonna apply some antibiotic fluid,
and then I'm gonna wrap your foot up
and continue icing it.
Tom, why don't you sit down
and start cutting some
pieces of adhesive?
You got it.
Okay.
That's a lot of blood.
Ooh, that's a lot of blood.
That's it's a lot of blood.
Okay, okay. This is not helpful.
- It's a lot of blood.
- Honey, honey, why don't you
go and get Sarah a glass of water?
Yeah, I'ma get a glass
of water for me too.
- Yeah.
- Whoo.
The room is kind of moving.
Is that one of the aftershocks?
Man.
Gong almost hit me in the head.
I could've died.
Yeah, and it did land on my foot.
Right, no, of course, I get that,
but on the way to your foot,
it came so close to my head.
You know, I could feel the
air there like like, moved.
Oh, you're the real victim here.
Obviously, Marina,
there's multiple victims.
Sarah, imagine what happened to
your foot happening to my head.
Oh, believe me, I am.
This whole thing is
really making me think.
Is it, though?
In through the nose.
Out through the mouth.
Where did you get this go bag,
and how'd you know how
to deal with Sarah's foot?
Oh, um, I took an emergency
prep class a few months ago.
You were deep into your book publicity
and I didn't want to bother you with it.
Oh, I'm glad you did. Why now?
- Well, remember our sex fire?
- Vividly.
Well, in that moment with the
flames going up the curtains
and you screaming,
"Fire!" and then pouring
cranberry juice on it and
then tripping on your pants
No, I-I said I remembered it.
Well, I wanted us to be prepared
if there was a next time.
Wait, so you took a course
'cause you didn't trust
I would know how to come
through in an emergency?
No. Honey, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Everyone plays an
important role in a crisis.
Your role is to
Like, call attention to the problem
while others deal with it.
It's a super important role.
All right, I'm gonna do a
second head count at 1400 hours!
- What?
- Nothing.
- I'm not playing this game.
- It's just this house.
It's got every cool
gadget you can think of,
but with the power off, it's useless.
I guess you're going to
have to hand sort your coins.
I mean, what if I had died today?
Would this be my legacy?
Just a freaking sweet house
filled with useless stuff?
I was so excited to bang that gong,
add a few extra zeroes
to my bank account,
but for what?
These are important questions.
You know what I think you should do?
Huh?
Make yourself useful.
Oh, I see where you're going with this.
Where I'm going with what?
Instead of focusing on myself,
I should be of service to others.
- Mm.
- Huh.
Helping people.
That's good.
Oh, my
hey, is yours working?
Mine just died.
Mine's been dead for 20 minutes.
Hey, Camila, how's it going?
Fine.
I feel like you're cool enough
to start watching "Boom
Boom Dojo" with me.
- What?
- Or we could watch
"Pastry Chef Junior" because
there's, like, cakes and stuff.
Or we could FaceTime my friend Xander.
He's got a cute younger brother.
All that sounds good.
What's it worth to you?
You got any money?
We can't out-bribe Gretchen.
Oh, thank you, Lupe.
How are you feeling?
You know,
actually, a bit relieved.
I thought I was ready to start IVF,
but for so long, the actual doing it
was so far in the future,
and now that the actual day has arrived,
it's like
Oh, my God, I mean,
what if it doesn't work?
Denise would be devastated.
I would be devastated.
Oh, God, it's getting me
emotional just talking about it.
I was just asking about your foot.
Oh, my foot.
Right. Um, it hurts.
Mm.
You know, wait. Lupe, sorry.
If we could just we
could just forget about
all that other stuff. I
mean, what even was that?
That was it was just
my hurt foot talking.
- I'm really not that invested.
- Okay.
What are you doing?
Uh, taking inventory of our food supply.
It's a thing you do in a crisis.
Another thing you do is
keep the fridge door shut
when the power is off.
And also, you could just
see through the glass.
Can't tell if the milk's
expired through glass.
What are you doing?
Oh, after the earthquake,
I checked the gas line.
Right. Right.
To make sure the shutoff valve tripped.
Pfft. Thinking the same thing.
- And what was the result?
- I smelt gas,
so I'm just making
sure there isn't a leak.
Beat me to it.
So look, now that I, uh,
took care of the food supply issue,
- do you need help with anything?
- Sure.
- Could you fill the bathtubs?
- Yes. On it.
Fill them with
- Water.
- Bubble baths.
Keep the kids calm. Smart.
No, so that we have water
if the water is shut off.
Right. Water for survival.
Not bub-tubs.
Obviously, I'm upset
that we're missing our
first IVF appointment.
I've been thinking
about this for so long.
- Yup.
- And I want to do it.
I really do. It's just,
now that we're at the day, I'm thinking,
what if it works and Sarah
actually gets pregnant
and it's hard for her and she hates it
and the only reason she's
putting herself through this
is because I couldn't do it myself?
You need to talk to your wife.
If only it was that easy, Lupe.
I don't want Sarah to
all of a sudden think
that I'm ungrateful or something.
Did you feel that? A little aftershock?
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah!
It's shaking me down the stairs.
I I think it's done.
Mommy, it's getting cold.
Yeah, the heat's off.
Um, maybe ask Gretchen to
borrow one of her sweatshirts.
You cold? You say you're getting cold?
- What if I built you a fire?
- That'd be cool.
Yeah or well, not cool.
Hot 'cause of the fire
that I'm gonna build you.
- One fire coming up.
- Wait, wait, wait.
What? Where? How?
Basically, all the questions.
Well, Connor's got a portable,
um what do you call those things?
You know what I mean? You light a
- Like a portable firepit?
- Yeah.
I'll just set it up in
the courtyard, you know,
it's open air, and then
I'll just get in there and
do my thing.
Well, if we're gonna have a fire,
maybe I should make it.
Why do you get to oh, 'cause
It's my fire, so I'ma make it.
Tom, fires are not that easy to make.
You know, I might not
have a green jacket,
like, a cute matching
helmet, but I can do stuff.
- Okay, go. Make a fire, Tom.
- Thanks. I will.
So one fire coming
up. Give me one minute.
Or actually, maybe a couple minutes.
Make it a half hour. I'll
call you when I'm done.
Lupe, do we have a fire extinguisher
Well, the swelling stopped,
so it looks like you might
be able to go to your
appointment after all.
- Yay.
- Amazing.
I will just text them
and let them know we're back on.
- Mm-hmm.
- Wait a sec.
With the power out, the gate won't open.
You can't even get your car out.
You can't even get out to get an Uber
because none of the gates will open.
Everything's connected
in my stupid smart house.
- Oh, shoot.
- Darn it.
Lupe was right.
I mean, making money just
for the sake of making money?
It should be about helping people.
- Okay.
- And right now, the two people
who need help are a couple of lesbians
who want to have a baby,
and one of them's got a
wounded foot from a gong
that almost took her brother's head off.
What are you what?
Shh.
I'm opening that gate for you.
- Great.
- Wow.
Yeah.
And how are you planning on doing that?
I'm gonna outsmart the smart house.
Why doesn't this city have some kind of
earthquake warning system?
Connor, don't hurt yourself.
I mean, like, what are
we even paying taxes for?
It's almost enough to
make you want to vote.
Maybe hurt yourself a little.
It's okay if you can't
get the gate open.
Sarah and I, we'll just
get a different appointment.
It's just so frustrating,
and the stupid manual
override is rusted shut.
Stupid fog.
I'm making a fire.
We have sweaters and stuff inside if
I'm making a fire to keep us all alive.
Seriously, don't break it for us.
It's not just for you.
Ever since I was nearly decapitated
by an ancient Chinese symbol of wealth,
I've been trying to think,
how can I be of, like, service?
- Service?
- Yeah.
What if I think bigger, you know?
Maybe I set up a bunch of scholarships
or reinvest my money
into climate activism.
Or maybe I do a raffle
where I send one sick kid a year
down to the bottom of the sea
in their own personal submarine.
Probably one of the first two things.
Whatever I do, it starts now.
The journey of 1,000 miles
begins with a single step.
Was that on the box your gong came in?
Hell yeah, it was.
And right now, my single step
is getting you to that
doctor's appointment.
Catch fire. Catch fire.
Maybe try putting the
wood in a cone shape.
Honey, I know what I'm doing. Thank you.
Okay, so then you know
that you should use tinder
to get the kindling started.
I wrote about this in
"Jeremiah's Plan," remember?
When the inmates use
their prison cigarettes
to light a fire to distract the guards,
so Jeremiah could smuggle
Hickory Bob out in a laundry cart?
Yes, my favourite part.
Wait. Something's happening here.
Oh, it's catching fire.
Fire, baby!
Uh-oh. No, no, no, no, no. No, come on.
What's going on here?
Come on.
Don't blow like that.
You're gonna hyperventilate.
I'm not gonna hyperventilate.
I'm just gonna lie down.
Oh, I made that?
Oh, you made that.
Team effort?
Sorry. I guess I was kind
of acting like a jerk.
No.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
I just wanted to be the protector,
but don't worry, message received.
I'm not trying to send a message.
I'm just doing what needs to be done.
Yeah. Exactly. 'Cause
I'm totally useless.
Just promise me when
the apocalypse comes,
you won't eat me first.
Tom, come on.
Not much meat on those bones anyway.
Although, soup
So we can all agree, we're gonna watch
a supercut of animals
riding other animals.
Yes, just play it.
I need it.
Where's my tablet?
- Hurry, hurry, hurry!
- Go, go, go!
It only has 1% left.
Let's watch as long as we can.
Do you suffer from acid reflux?
Skip it! Skip it!
Literally the worst day of my life.
Here I am, trying to be a
positive force in the
world, serve my community.
I can't even help you guys
escape my stupid property.
Maybe I'm not the
saviour we all thought.
Did we use the word saviour?
We were definitely all thinking it.
- Mm-hmm.
- Damn.
Mm, sorry we weren't able
to make our appointment.
- Oh, me too.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yup.
- It's a bummer.
- Such a bummer.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Just say it! Both of you!
Say what you need to say to each other.
But wait until I leave.
I don't want to get dragged into it.
- What was that?
- Who knows?
- That was just, um
- Weird.
Okay, don't be upset, but
I was really freaking out
- about our doctor's appointment.
- Oh, me too.
I was like, "Oh, my God,
it's really happening."
And also, oh, my God.
I mean, there are no
guarantees with IVF,
and if it didn't work,
you'd be so disappointed.
Well, I was worried you were
gonna hate being pregnant
and start resenting me because
I wanted to do this in the first place.
Oh, Lulu, I love you.
I love you too.
You know, maybe this earthquake
was the universe's way of telling us
that we can just take
a little more time.
- Well, I do believe in signs.
- Mm-hmm.
I'm really glad that we got
all this out in the open.
- Me too.
- Yeah.
- Thank you, Lupe!
- Thank you, Lupe!
I'm not here.
- She loves us.
- Yeah.
Is this what nights were
like when you were kids?
How old do you think we are?
It's getting late. When's
the power coming back?
- Soon, kiddo.
- You keep saying that.
Camila, have I ever told you
about the Keeper of the Flame?
- Who?
- You don't know about Reena?
The Keeper of the Flame?
Well, we all want the
power to come back on,
but thousands and
thousands of years ago,
even before Aunt Denise was born
Wow.
It was fire that people wanted.
'Cause fire gave them
warmth, it gave them light,
but the gods could see how
much people loved their fire,
and they grew jealous.
So one day, there was a
great trembling of the earth
and the gods stole the fire
and left the people cold
and hungry in the dark.
For no one was brave
enough to go fight for it
no one, that is, except
for the mighty Reena.
See, Reena had the skills.
She had the confidence.
She had the green pelt,
which was actually quite flattering.
And even though she was scared
and she knew there was
no guarantee of success,
she ventured out into the dark.
The first thing she
saw was a golden bridge
that served as a gate between her world
and the new world of adventure
And with that, Reena
vanquished the spirit wraith,
thus completing the
seventh of her trials.
And she returned home with a spark
to light a new fire
along with the friends
that she met along the way.
The Golden Goliath,
the Truth-Telling
Teacher, and, of course,
the kindly, misunderstood Bog Hag.
Who do you think is the Bog Hag?
- You know, I don't know.
- Yeah.
And to this day,
whenever anyone sits around a fire,
the spirit of the Keeper of the Flame
lives on.
Whoa.
Cool.
I, uh
I hate to say this, but
Tom's story has me thinking.
Sometimes when you want
something bad enough,
you just have to do
stuff that scares you.
Right.
Maybe we just have to
stop thinking and jump in.
Yeah.
- Let's do it.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
Hey.
Remember how I told you
everyone plays an
important role in a crisis?
In our tribe, you're the storyteller.
Yeah, I guess I am.
- Or maybe weaver of dreams.
- Storyteller's good.
No, yeah. Storyteller's
cool. Storyteller's cool.
Oh, Dr. Patel's office
just texted me and they said,
"If we miss our appointment,
we won't be seen for
another four months."
But our appointment's in 28 minutes.
That's it.
Lupe, grab the keys to my
most heavily-insured car.
We should probably stop this.
No, please. I really wanna see it.
Yeah! I'm doing it!
- The power's back on.
- Connor!
- Connor!
- Dad!
Connor, you okay?
I'm awesome!
Oh, that was incredible!
Camila, never do that.
- Whoo!
- Connor, thank you.
We will absolutely
help pay for the gate.
I mean, we won't, but thank you.
What a rush.
I wish I could drive my
car through other obstacles.
Did he bump his head?
Yeah, why don't you give
me those keys, buddy?
No, I mean, like, figuratively.
Use my wealth to bust through red tape
and help those less fortunate than me.
Oh, my God, I've got it.
I figured out how to be of
service to my fellow man.
It's all so obvious.
Hold on to your butts.
I'm running for mayor.
- Yes!
- Whoo!
- Whoo!
- Yeah!
Oh.
- Wow, Connor.
- Yeah.
- No.
- Yeah.
I don't know if that's a good idea.
- Like, you're not well-equipped
- You know what?
You got an appointment to get to.
Okay. I do.
This all will be happening
when you get back.
Come here, buddy. Yup.
We're making earthquakes illegal.
Okay, let's get you to the doctor too.
And lo, as Reena made
her way into battle,
she did so with her new friends
the Golden-Haired Gretchen
who was sweet, but ferocious.
Karate Chop Kelvin, thrower of boulders
- and puncher of trees.
- Hoo!
Shamiah the Chanteuse
Whose beautiful voice
laid waste to her enemies.
And of course, right by her side,
the Mighty 'Mila who would never let
her fear of the dark get in her way.
Reena knew that with this new team,
there was nothing that she could not do.
Uh, not to mention Lupe,
the leader of the tribe
who laid down the law and
ruled all that she saw.
And she could fly.
Uh, yeah, well, there's not
really a supernatural component
to this sto but
yeah, no, she could fly.
She could she could fly.
She was a little bit
scary, but that only helped
in the battle against the elves.