Offspring (2010) s03e13 Episode Script

Just tell me.
Are you pregnant? I know you must be so confused right now, and I so want to be there for you and be happy for you, but I can't.
I justI can't.
I can assure you this is my blood.
I should have the results by tomorrow.
OK.
I'm seeing Phillip Noonan.
"Seeing" meaning? Rooting.
Marry me.
Yourtiming's terrible.
This TV show in Sydney is great, but I'm gonna find someone else for the tour.
Mick? They think Alfie has encephalitis.
Oh, God! There's nothing we can do except wait.
Things are speeding up.
Oh, yes! There's a head .
.
and a little hand too.
Oh! No problem.
Your baby just grabbed Dr Proudman's finger.
Some babies come out like OK, I need a big push.
That's it.
Oh, here she is! Oh! OK, baby.
Your date of birth, baby, is the 18th.
Oh, my birthday! Happy shared birthday, little girl.
The only thing I want for my birthday is for Alfie to be OK.
Happy birthday, Neens.
Oh, yeah, thanks.
Yep.
Happy birthday, my darling girl.
Happy birthday, Nina.
With all the drama I didn't wrap your present or anything.
Yeah, I'll ring around.
No-one's gonna feel like it.
I'll let people know.
It's a shame we can't celebrate, but Oh, at least let me buy you a birthday muffin.
Well, I'll grab brekkie for everyone.
OK.
Come on, you! Come on, Billie.
Let's go.
Bye! Oh, God! Oh! I have to tell someone.
I have been having visions.
What kind of visions? The kind that invade my brain space - Mick and Rosanna in a hotel room in Sydney together.
I'm seeing pashing, clothes coming off, her creamy skin against God! One night and it's eating up my stomach lining.
I mean, how can I manage them travelling together on a whole tour? But Mick's not doing the tour anymore, so Yeah, but what if my insecurity ruins his music career? Well, if you ask me, you should trust your relationship that it's Another vision? Mm-hm, mm-hm.
I'm seeing Mick, Rosanna and Ollie skipping together, singing in perfect harmony.
It's like 'The Partridge Family'.
Mmmmaybe he would be happier with her.
I mean, she's nicer, they're musical kindred spirits and he could be father to a ready-made Mick loves you.
Why don't you just stop AARGGH! Oh, God! Is this what it's like for you all the time? Yes.
It's exhausting.
Oh! Oh, Nina, your imagination must be in fifth gear right now.
Oh, no, I'm trying not to think about the possible pregnancy till we know one way or another.
You're doing so well, Nina.
Yeah, you're nearly there now.
Superb uterine performance.
Can I stroke you or something? Mind you, if I was in excruciating pain, someone stroking me would irritate the shit out of me.
Is me talking irritating you? Ice? Sorry! You're so beautiful.
Oh, here comes another one! Sorry, we all know this isn't real.
Yeah.
I can't handle having another baby.
I did make that pretty clear.
You know, I decided to have Ray without expecting anything from the father.
I mean, it's always an option.
Yeah, but the father's also an ex who's probably shitting himself.
Yeah, but this father is an honourable man.
You don't want the father to be roped in just because Oh, sorry, can you just stop saying "the father".
He's not "the father" - he's Patrick.
And I have to work out how I feel about all of this.
I mean, should it change the way I see the relationship? Two separate things tangled up in a total mess - me and Patrick, me and the father of this baby - so I can't just step back and see it as options, like a multiple choice, because .
.
I just don't know! I can't see any of that.
All I can see is nothing or everything.
I don't know! I guess we can probably have her muffin.
Hi.
Sorry to disturb you.
Hi.
I just, um I'm not here because No result yet.
OK.
Do you want a cup of tea, or do you want to come upstairs? Uh, no, no, I'm just here for a sec.
Ahit's probably silly to discuss this before we know, but justjust so we're absolutely clear Sure.
I If I am pregnant, which I may not be, but if I am, uh, just .
.
I would like to have the baby.
Mmm.
I would hate for you to feel obliged or, or N-Nina I'd be happy to do it solo, I think.
I've got family support, and there's child care and I probably wouldn't be able to deliver babies anymore, but there's obstetric subspecialities and I'd beI'd be Anyway, the point is that none of that is your problem.
Nina The last thing I'd want is for you to be roped to me in misery out of some misguided sense of honour because Are we clear? Yeah, I suppose so.
I'll let you know when I have the result.
Nina, wait, actually.
Um .
.
well, I got this for your birthday ages ago.
Oh It's a 5-day horse ride in the high country.
Oh, I've always wanted to do that.
It's for two people .
.
so maybe, ummaybe you can take Billie or Anyway, hey, happy birthday.
Thanks.
Test result? Hi! Hello.
You sound anxious.
Oh, of course - you assume I'm ringing about the Are you? No, no.
We missed the early pathology collection, so we won't, uh I don't have your test result yet.
Oh.
Meanwhile, happy birthday! Oh, thank you.
I, uh, brought your gift to Geraldine's, but she's not home.
Should I drop by the hospital? Oh, no, no.
I'll, um, meet you at Mum's.
Coming up after the break, music duo Mick and Rosanna launch their national tour.
Oh, to be accurate, I'm not going on the tour.
No.
You see, I had to give it up because my wife is a jealous shrew who is crippling my creative future.
So, in fact, coming up after the break Our last performance together! Ahh Oh, so many presents! Yeah, one for every birthday I missed, and for this one.
Oh Is it too much? Oh, it Oh! This is the concert I would've loved to have taken you to for your 12th birthday - to hear 'The Lark Ascending'.
Oh Ah, my nanna's cake forks Oh! .
.
for your 18th.
I don't suppose people use cake forks anymore, but as a family heirloom Oh, and this is the .
.
thethe year that you graduated from medicine.
Well, I would've been absurdly proud.
Have I embarrassed you? Oh, a little bit - it's Is this presumptuous? It is, it is.
No! No, no, no.
I should've It's not.
It'sit's it's touching.
It's very touching.
Thank you.
I wish you HAD been there on all those occasions when I was growing up.
Oh, hi, Dad! Oh, Phillip just dropped in to give me a present.
So I see.
Mmm.
A present? Yeah, a present.
Well Wow.
So, what are all the numbers for? Oh Well, it's one for every birthday That you missed out on.
Darcy, this was a gesture.
Clumsy, ill-conceived, and I'm mortified about What am I supposed to make of all this? Darcy, Phillip can be overly enthusiastic, but he's just Geraldine, you're not helping an already delicate situation by having sex with the man.
Oh! Oh, Dad, I know this is upsetting for you but Surely no? Brilliant! Nina Darling, darling I'll just leave you all to sort yourselves out.
Thank you for the presents.
And I see how you try I want you all the time You think your wings are broken Your wings, they are not broken I wish you would unfold them You make me happy You make me happy You shouldn't be alone Babe, come on home You make me happy.
I never said that I was easy Always pushing for the best It's just 'cause I believe, believe in you, baby And this I must confess You make me happy You make me happy You shouldn't be alone Baby, come on home You make me happy You make me happy You make me happy You shouldn't be alone Baby, come on home You make me happy.
Oh.
Can I come in? What's up with you? A few days overdue and I've conjured the whole thing up in my head.
You know, please don't prod the girls, Billie.
Sometimes, symptoms can seem like I mean, it's just late.
There's no baby.
I wasn't sure if it was a good idea to To have an unplanned baby conceived by an ex who says he can't handle a baby.
Yeah.
But now that it's gone away .
.
I think I really, really wanted it.
Oh, Neens.
I really wish you had been.
I'm sorry.
It's OK.
Oh, God, and I've made it worse by telling Patrick.
Now I have to untell him.
Do you want me to untell him for you? Thanks but probably not appropriate.
My job.
I'm celebrating my lucky escape.
Are you having a vision about how he'll react? Yep.
He's throwing a party.
Are Mick and Rosanna at the party too? N-no! You and Patrick were mainly great together.
You know, maybe a bona fide pregnancy scare is a handy way for you guys to just No, that's not how it works.
Well, what about Mr and Mrs Bleckensopp? It turned out she was just very gassy, and they stayed together anyway and then they had the kid with the chin.
Sometimes, accidents can be a handy way to Oh, God, I'm so scared that he's gonna be relieved.
I don't know if I can handle seeing the relief on his face.
Oh, it's Jim.
Hey, Jimmy.
Any news? Good news.
Oh, good.
Is Alfie Yeah, he's responded really well to the antibiotics.
Temperature down? Yep, yep, and the scans look good.
He's on the mend.
Oh, that's just fantastic.
Get down and join us, Nina! Get yourself down here! Mick, why are you switched off? Oh, I guess you're on the flight back.
Um, great news about Alfie - he's come good.
The doctors think he's gonna be fine.
So, I just wish that Yeahanyway, um, see you when you're back.
Bye.
What? I think it's time I made a big fuss of Nina's birthday.
Oh, I see.
This is about Phillip's 35 presents.
This is a plan to outdo him.
What's wrong with a father trying to give his daughter a party? Like the fiasco you threw when she was eight? When you were shagging the 23-year-old DJ in the HiAce van while I was slaving away wrapping bacon around prunes and Nina had her first panic attack.
All the more reason why I should make it up to her now.
We can't all gallivant off to a party.
We've got to stay near Alfie.
I'm aware of that.
I'll find a party venue near Alfie.
Oh, Darcy! Just don't do anything involving karaoke.
Ohh! Welcome back, Alfie.
Look at you.
Filling those lungs like a champion.
Just as well you're back with us.
We need you.
Just wanted to check something with you.
Fire away.
Will you be Alfie's godmother? What? It just feels like I can ask you now that we know that he's gonna be OK.
Your eyes are all red.
No, no, II just did a double shift.
Yeah, right.
Sowill you be his godmother? Are you trying to say yes? So, I guess this is our big goodbye.
Yeah.
Thanks so much for everything, Mick.
I wouldn't be where I'm at withoutyour brilliance.
Truly.
Well, if you change your mind about the tour, my brilliance will still be here.
Mick .
.
we've both got to do whatworks.
I'm sorry.
It's OK.
I understand.
Mum, I saw you on TV! Hey! See ya! I wish you every good thing with your music.
Hey! Hey, Alfie.
You're looking much better now, mate.
I'm so happy for you.
Thanks.
And thanks for being around so much.
It really meant a lot when you were there in times when we didn't know what was happening.
Wow.
You love them with such intensity.
It's a more powerful force than you think your body can take.
Yeah.
Patrick! Oh, I wasn't expecting Oh, God! I don'tdon't feel ready.
Come on, you have to do this.
Don't sound needy, just Hi.
Hey.
Were you just here seeing Alfie? Yeah, just saw him.
It's wonderful.
It is.
It's wonderful.
You OK? Yeah, I'm fine.
Ah, I was juston my way to find you.
Really? Great, 'cause I want to talk to you.
Um .
.
please know that I want to be a father to this baby.
And I know I've given you plenty of reasons to think, you know, why I don't want to have kids, but I want to be supportive and involved Patrick I'm not saying that we'd be a couple, if Look, there's plenty of precedents in your family for two people Thank you for offering, but I'm not pregnant.
It was just a scare.
Oh.
I'm sorry for bothering you.
There's no need to apologise.
Ever since Your mind must be racing with Please don't think that my imagination got the better of me.
It was just a mistake.
A mistake? Yeah, I'm sorry.
I wish it had never happened.
You're sorry? Don't cry in front of him.
Nina, you have to come with me right now! What? No, I'm just going No, no.
No, no, no.
What?! Patrick, you can come too, like our family.
Jimmy, please! Look, stop, stop! Do not ask questions, just come! Well, is it about Alfie? No, no, no.
I'm under strict instructions from Dad.
Where are we going? I don't think we're allowed down here.
I said no questions.
Surprise! Happy birthday, my darling girl! Take two of your eighth birthday party.
Now, you requested for your dream party fancy dress, Passiona, devils on horseback and a pinata.
I thought we might just do our best to make it happen now.
Oh, Dad! Happy birthday, darling.
Thanks, Mum.
Um, not too much, is it, love? I mean, is the old Dad railroading? Oh, no! No, Dad, it's great.
Good.
I think I feel like trying on one of the costumes.
I'll get the music.
Jimmy, good luck with it, but I think I'm gonna No, no, no! Stay.
We need extra bodies to make this whole lame-arse, last-minute event less embarrassing.
Yeah, but I don't think Nina wants me here.
No, it's OK.
This can be a celebration for Alfie too.
Please just stay, mate.
Did you tell him? Does him being here mean that you Yeah, I've told him.
And, no, it means nothing.
So, this is just excruciating for you.
Yes, and for him too, I'm sure.
No, not that one! Not that one.
I've got the perfect costume for you.
OK.
Mmm? Mickhow good is it? Mate, it's great.
Hi! Are you Pissed off, bit sad, but I'll get over it.
Will you? I don't think it's about me being You got your way on this.
Don't say it like that.
I didn't get my way, Mick.
Fuck, Billie, don't expect me to jump up and down with glee straightaway, OK? Let's just .
.
concentrate on celebrating.
Ah What is this? We're so not getting through this without alcohol.
Will you grab two more of those? Whatever you want.
It's not what I want.
It's not who I want to be.
I'm having hallucinations.
I'm shrivelling into some thin-lipped harpy, and I can't sing! What? II really can't sing at all.
Yeah, I know you can't sing.
And I'm crippling your creativity and your musical career, and you'll resent me if you end up .
.
shovelling mulch and crying and wanking all day.
Steady on! And what ifwhat if Billie, stop, stop! I don't want to become one of those paranoid couples that just invent crazy Are we turning into Patrick and Nina? No, that's never gonna happen because we can be honest with each other, OK? OK.
YesI'm attracted to Rosanna.
And there are always gonna be women I find attractive, just like .
.
there will always be men that you lust after.
And we just .
.
we have to trust each other.
You're right.
I know you're right.
Billie, I never want to do anything that makes you unhappy.
Hon, I never want to do anything that limits .
.
how fabulous you are.
So, what do we do? Well, I promise to keep my pants on with Rosanna.
And you And I'llendure you two making musical magic without me.
Yeah.
Except it doesn't work because Rosanna's .
.
the one who pulled the pin.
Oh, there may still be a chance Leave it to me.
What? No, wait! You get booze.
Billie! I'll see you there.
Rosanna.
Billie.
I apologise for any inappropriate thoughts I had about you.
I saw you guyson TV.
It was beautiful.
And I want Mick .
.
to be the most fabulous version of himself that he can be .
.
and that means working with you.
Look, I appreciate that, but why would I want to bring angst I will beg if necessary.
And the begging will be undignified, and it will go on for hours.
Billie Please.
Please.
Hey, hey! Hi.
Hey.
I'm sorry you got dragged into thisevent.
Um, as you know, my family can be too boisterous and jump in without thinking.
No, I like that about your family.
Yeah, well, sometimes maybe.
But I just want you to know that you don't have to stay if you don't Nina, if you're uncomfortable with me being here, I can No, I'm just, umI'm uncomfortable if you're uncomfortable.
No, I'm not, really.
I'm - Hey! Look out! - Ooh! I like this song! Come on, everybody! Nina, if you want me to go, I can leave.
I'm just saying that it's What? Huh? I can't hear you.
Pinata.
What? Pinata.
Pinata! This may not be exactly where you expected to be at 35, but it's OK.
It's not OK - it's unbearable to be in the same room as him, given the Shut up! Shut up! Just look like you're having fun, for Darcy's sake.
Hey, Mick! Hey, hey, hey! Nice penguin costume! Hi.
Hey.
You know I'm gonna watch you like a hawk.
I might turn up anytime on tour.
I understand that.
Good.
Ahh, Geraldine .
.
my heart is full.
And may I just apologise to you for behaving so .
.
petulantly with Phillip Noonan? Hmm.
My heart's also full, Darcy.
Whatever shortcomings you have as a husband, you're a wonderful father.
Thank you.
And knowing you think that inspires me to Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! Go, penguin! Go, penguin! Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! Are we just two people with no connection at all now? Is that what he Why did you choose devils on horseback? Thought it sounded dramatic.
Oh, it is! It is.
It's a swashbuckling canape - such a disgusting concept and yet unexpectedly delicious.
My God, Jim, you amaze me.
You've handled this with such strength .
.
such grace.
I've been flying blind.
When things got, you know, really black, I just let the universe narrow down into little pinpoints of light .
.
to the things I'm certain about.
I love Alfie, I love my family .
.
and I love Zara, even if there's a chance she doesn't love me back.
Hey.
What's going on? Is Alfie OK? Yeah, he's fine.
Kim's with him.
You OK? I'm tired, deep into my bones.
Me too.
Also, I want to Things can sneak up on you, and I want to say Oh, I see.
Jimmy, you're shaking.
Yeah, I don't know - it feels like a first kiss or something.
Do you think either of us are capable ofthis? We can try our very best.
What's up, doc? Just so you know, I don't think Darcy and I are gonna try for another baby.
Oh! What does this decision betoken for you and me? I don't know yet.
Want to have a dance? Uh, excuse me, do you work here? Uh, not anymore.
I've been invited to a party.
I can't imagine where in a hospital anyone would have a Nina's party? Yes.
Are you Phillip Noonan? Yes.
I've seen your photo on your website.
I'm Patrick Reid.
It's good to finally meet you.
Patrick.
Yeah.
Wonderful to meet you.
Are you leaving? Yeah, I'm It'sit's Yes, well, I've got a rough idea about whatum, what Well, you know.
You're Nina's father.
Sorry, it's just Yeah, it's strange.
Yeah.
Andterrifying.
And quite wonderful.
I can see Nina in you.
You're smiling just thinking about her.
Yeah.
Nina made it pretty clear that she, um We made a mess of things, so Are you giving up? Well, it's not a matter of giving up.
Well, give up if you want to.
Based on my own experience .
.
a man can have real regrets.
Sorry? No, I'm sorry.
It'snone of my business.
Well Good luck to you, Patrick.
Yeah.
Thanks, Dad.
This has just been great.
Oh, good.
I'm feeling exhausted, and I might have to head along soon.
Yeah, look, that's alright, love.
Just one thing, though - you can't go until you've cracked the pinata! I made that for you when you were eight.
Yeah, and it's been buried in Mum's attic ever since.
What sort of animal is it? It's a horse, obviously.
Since when do horses have sticky-outy legs? Hey, I was 10! No-one helped me.
Oh! Alright, come on.
I just need to get this fucking thing open so I can sort out my life.
Why can't I .
.
get my life together?! Must try .
.
to run my life! Hit 'im in the balls! What's this thing made of? Come on! Is that lady gonna hurt her baby by doing that? Shh! Is Nina pregnant? She thought she was.
I may or may not have witnessed a blood test, the results of which So Nina might be pregnant? Why didn't you tell me you were pregnant? No, I'm not pregnant! Oh, hello! No, not pregnant - it's a false alarm.
Does anyone in this family know anything about contraception? Hang on, so who's the father? Adamor Patrick.
Adam is NOT the father of the child.
So you ARE pregnant? No, she's not pregnant, Darcy, keep up! Who's Adam? Soup kitchen saint who Nina toyed with.
I didn't toy with him! I don't get why Nina and Patrick broke up in the first place.
Oh, even when Patrick thought I was pregnant, he still made a point of saying we'd never be a couple! That's not what I said.
And you're the one who said you're happy to be solo rather than roped together in misery.
You two - not good at talking.
And good at other things, obviously.
You seemed so relieved when I wasn't pregnant.
Stop thinking you know what I'm thinking, because sometimes you get it wrong.
It was my fault we broke up.
I messed you around.
Well, I handled itbadly.
It was mostly my fault.
If you weren't so cryptic Yeah, she wouldn't have to guess what you're thinking.
Thanks, Billie, I can handle it.
I wish you had been pregnant.
Me too.
I want to be with you no matter what.
Is that clear enough for you? Very clear.
I found a bone saw in the orthopedics department.
God! That's the way, that's the way.
Oh, I thought I'd lost her! Phillip, I think Nina's two fathers should raise a toast to their beautiful daughter's birthday.
Oh, uh, yes! Wonderful idea! Dad, thank you for inviting him.
I thought I should.
Everybody, raise your plastic cups.
Happy birthday, Nina.
Happy birthday, Nina! This champagne tastes kind of fungal.
I just, uh, checked my messages.
Your pregnancy test was positive.
Yep.
What?! Well, I've probably had a miscarriage since then.
Champagne tasted fungal when I was pregnant with you.
Let's go! Let's go.