Regular Show (2010) s03e13 Episode Script
Fortune Cookie
It won't go in! No, dude, you're doing it wrong! Righty-tighty-lefty-loosey, not lefty-tighty-mess it up because you're a loser! Would you guys hurry up! It's been a whole hour! I can't believe you can't even put in a simple lightbulb.
Almost got it THAT'S NOT HOW YOU DO IT!!! Here, get down and hold the ladder.
I'll do it.
I have to do everything around here! Dude, Benson! What's the rush It's not like you have somewhere to be.
Yeah, actually, I do! I do have a life outside of work, you know.
Yeah, right.
Where are you gonna go, Benson Yeah, where are you gonna go, dude JUST HOLD THE LADDER!!! Come on, man! Spill it! Where you gonna go Dude, Rigby! Leave him alone! Can't you tell you're annoying him - No, you're annoying him! - No, you're annoying him! You're annoying him! Hold the ladder! Benson! Benson! Oh man, please don't be dead! He's still breathing.
He's just unconscious.
What are we gonna do? He's totally gonna fire us when he wakes up! Dude, cool it! I gotta think.
Okay.
We only have one chance at not getting fired.
Okay.
I'll go get the shovel.
No, dude! We gotta take him back to his place and put him in bed, and hope he doesn't remember that any of this happened.
- What! That'll never work! - It's our only hope.
Either he remembers and he fires us, or he doesn't and he doesn't.
Either way, it's our only chance not to get fired.
Okay.
I guess that makes sense.
Dude, hurry up! Maybe If I had a little help this would go faster.
His gumballs must be made of lead! Okay, he's in, let's go.
Benson! - Dude, he looks horrible! - Wait, I got it.
Ugh, we're so fired.
But he looks so chill! - Hey, Benson! - It's Muscle Man! We can't let him find out.
Hey, I want to talk to Benson! Whoo, that was close! Wait, I want to talk! TALK!!! We lost him! Didn't you hear me calling you? Hey, Muscle Man.
- How's it going? - What do you ladies care.
Benson, I took care of those kids with the snakes like you asked.
You ran for that.
Oh, yeah.
Thanks for the smooth jazz concert tickets.
My date tonight is going to be extra hot! How did you know she was going to go crazy for it.
It's going to be on tonight! - People like jazz.
- Whatever, loser.
You just don't know what the ladies like.
Right, Benson.
You know it! This is Benson's apartment.
We're almost there, dude.
Benson! Where have you been? My party started two hours ago.
Everything okay.
Oh, great! Come on in and join the party! No! I mean, Benson's had a pretty exhausting day at work.
He's not really in a partying mood right now.
Right, Benson.
But, you said you were gonna come.
We planned this over a month ago, remember.
Okay.
You're a busy guy and you work a lot, I understand.
I was just really hoping you could come to my party.
I see you walking down the hall all the time but I never get to talk to you.
I thought maybe we could have a chance to get to know each other better.
Well, see you.
Nag nag nag! Alright, let's get him to bed.
Wait dude, we have to take Benson to this party.
What! Why? Dude.
Didn't you see how disappointed that girl was? Benson really did have somewhere to be and we totally messed it up for him! We owe him this.
Big deal, he's still gonna fire us.
Dude, if we take him to the party and he wakes up, he'll just think he partied too hard and won't even remember what happened! Hey, maybe you're right! And there'll be witnesses too! Then we'll be off the hook! Then what do you say, Benson? You ready to party? I'll take that as a yes! Dude, I thought you had him! I can't believe we haven't hung out before this! I'm so glad you can hang out tonight.
Yo! Yo Audrey, who's the jerkface? Chuck, please! Benson does not have the face of a jerk.
And I can talk to whoever I want.
We're not dating anymore, remember? I guess so.
I just never knew you liked talking to losers.
You hear that, loser Stop it Chuck, Benson is not a loser! Oh yeah.
Well if he not a loser, then why is he letting me do this.
I don't know.
Why are you letting me poke your face like this? Not cool, shades.
You think you can drop H2O on the FE and get away with it? The FE.
Ever seen the periodic table, loser.
FE is the abbreviation for iron, like my stomach.
I'm the iron stomach! What's that Benson? You think Chuck's a chump and you're not scared? Really, Benson? Are you sure? Okay, whatever you say, you're the boss.
Fine then.
Let's dance.
Top that.
What's that, Benson? You wanna wash that down with some chili flakes? No way! Looks like the FE is just L-A-M-E! Go Benson! Fine! You think you're so hot! How 'bout a victory drink? I call it the Mississippi Queen.
Mississippi Queen Why do you call it that? Oh, you'll find out.
Drink it! Drink it! Drink it! Drink it! Bottom's up.
What the Mordecai! Rigby! Both of you better tell me what's going on right now or-- Oh, my stomach! Oh, my mouth, my mouth is on fire! How did I even get here.
You mean you don't remember us knocking you out.
- You what! - Look, Benson, before you say anything, we were gonna take you home, but then we ran into your neighbor and she really wanted you to go to her party! So we brought you and now you're in a huge eating match against her ex-boyfriend.
But it's cool, 'cause you're totally beating him and-- That's it! You guys are so unbelievably fi-- Benson! Benson! Benson! Benson! Look, Benson.
You could go ahead and fire us, or you could go out there and really impress Audrey.
Your choice, man.
Benson! Benson! Benson! Benson! Come with me.
I'm gonna drink this! And so are my two buddies, Mordecai and Rigby.
Or they're fired! Bottom's up, fellas.
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! That wasn't actually that bad.
Yeah, I didn't really taste anything.
Yo, Chuck! Your Mississippi Queen was Mississippi lame! Yeah, it's not even spicy at all.
Yeah, well that's called beginner's luck.
Luck.
Luck.
Luck.
Luck ( Mountain - Mississippi Queen) Feels like rush hour in my lower intestines.
I don't think I've ever eaten so much food in my life.
That's it.
I've had it with you two.
I can't even get knocked out without you ruining my social life and getting me into stupid food challenges.
B-but Benson, we won! - Didn't we? - Won? I would've never gotten into this mess if you two weren't always messing around! You two are fired! No more chances, just get out of here.
- Benson! Look! - What? What does it say? Yeah man, what does it say? Get back to work.
Almost got it THAT'S NOT HOW YOU DO IT!!! Here, get down and hold the ladder.
I'll do it.
I have to do everything around here! Dude, Benson! What's the rush It's not like you have somewhere to be.
Yeah, actually, I do! I do have a life outside of work, you know.
Yeah, right.
Where are you gonna go, Benson Yeah, where are you gonna go, dude JUST HOLD THE LADDER!!! Come on, man! Spill it! Where you gonna go Dude, Rigby! Leave him alone! Can't you tell you're annoying him - No, you're annoying him! - No, you're annoying him! You're annoying him! Hold the ladder! Benson! Benson! Oh man, please don't be dead! He's still breathing.
He's just unconscious.
What are we gonna do? He's totally gonna fire us when he wakes up! Dude, cool it! I gotta think.
Okay.
We only have one chance at not getting fired.
Okay.
I'll go get the shovel.
No, dude! We gotta take him back to his place and put him in bed, and hope he doesn't remember that any of this happened.
- What! That'll never work! - It's our only hope.
Either he remembers and he fires us, or he doesn't and he doesn't.
Either way, it's our only chance not to get fired.
Okay.
I guess that makes sense.
Dude, hurry up! Maybe If I had a little help this would go faster.
His gumballs must be made of lead! Okay, he's in, let's go.
Benson! - Dude, he looks horrible! - Wait, I got it.
Ugh, we're so fired.
But he looks so chill! - Hey, Benson! - It's Muscle Man! We can't let him find out.
Hey, I want to talk to Benson! Whoo, that was close! Wait, I want to talk! TALK!!! We lost him! Didn't you hear me calling you? Hey, Muscle Man.
- How's it going? - What do you ladies care.
Benson, I took care of those kids with the snakes like you asked.
You ran for that.
Oh, yeah.
Thanks for the smooth jazz concert tickets.
My date tonight is going to be extra hot! How did you know she was going to go crazy for it.
It's going to be on tonight! - People like jazz.
- Whatever, loser.
You just don't know what the ladies like.
Right, Benson.
You know it! This is Benson's apartment.
We're almost there, dude.
Benson! Where have you been? My party started two hours ago.
Everything okay.
Oh, great! Come on in and join the party! No! I mean, Benson's had a pretty exhausting day at work.
He's not really in a partying mood right now.
Right, Benson.
But, you said you were gonna come.
We planned this over a month ago, remember.
Okay.
You're a busy guy and you work a lot, I understand.
I was just really hoping you could come to my party.
I see you walking down the hall all the time but I never get to talk to you.
I thought maybe we could have a chance to get to know each other better.
Well, see you.
Nag nag nag! Alright, let's get him to bed.
Wait dude, we have to take Benson to this party.
What! Why? Dude.
Didn't you see how disappointed that girl was? Benson really did have somewhere to be and we totally messed it up for him! We owe him this.
Big deal, he's still gonna fire us.
Dude, if we take him to the party and he wakes up, he'll just think he partied too hard and won't even remember what happened! Hey, maybe you're right! And there'll be witnesses too! Then we'll be off the hook! Then what do you say, Benson? You ready to party? I'll take that as a yes! Dude, I thought you had him! I can't believe we haven't hung out before this! I'm so glad you can hang out tonight.
Yo! Yo Audrey, who's the jerkface? Chuck, please! Benson does not have the face of a jerk.
And I can talk to whoever I want.
We're not dating anymore, remember? I guess so.
I just never knew you liked talking to losers.
You hear that, loser Stop it Chuck, Benson is not a loser! Oh yeah.
Well if he not a loser, then why is he letting me do this.
I don't know.
Why are you letting me poke your face like this? Not cool, shades.
You think you can drop H2O on the FE and get away with it? The FE.
Ever seen the periodic table, loser.
FE is the abbreviation for iron, like my stomach.
I'm the iron stomach! What's that Benson? You think Chuck's a chump and you're not scared? Really, Benson? Are you sure? Okay, whatever you say, you're the boss.
Fine then.
Let's dance.
Top that.
What's that, Benson? You wanna wash that down with some chili flakes? No way! Looks like the FE is just L-A-M-E! Go Benson! Fine! You think you're so hot! How 'bout a victory drink? I call it the Mississippi Queen.
Mississippi Queen Why do you call it that? Oh, you'll find out.
Drink it! Drink it! Drink it! Drink it! Bottom's up.
What the Mordecai! Rigby! Both of you better tell me what's going on right now or-- Oh, my stomach! Oh, my mouth, my mouth is on fire! How did I even get here.
You mean you don't remember us knocking you out.
- You what! - Look, Benson, before you say anything, we were gonna take you home, but then we ran into your neighbor and she really wanted you to go to her party! So we brought you and now you're in a huge eating match against her ex-boyfriend.
But it's cool, 'cause you're totally beating him and-- That's it! You guys are so unbelievably fi-- Benson! Benson! Benson! Benson! Look, Benson.
You could go ahead and fire us, or you could go out there and really impress Audrey.
Your choice, man.
Benson! Benson! Benson! Benson! Come with me.
I'm gonna drink this! And so are my two buddies, Mordecai and Rigby.
Or they're fired! Bottom's up, fellas.
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! That wasn't actually that bad.
Yeah, I didn't really taste anything.
Yo, Chuck! Your Mississippi Queen was Mississippi lame! Yeah, it's not even spicy at all.
Yeah, well that's called beginner's luck.
Luck.
Luck.
Luck.
Luck ( Mountain - Mississippi Queen) Feels like rush hour in my lower intestines.
I don't think I've ever eaten so much food in my life.
That's it.
I've had it with you two.
I can't even get knocked out without you ruining my social life and getting me into stupid food challenges.
B-but Benson, we won! - Didn't we? - Won? I would've never gotten into this mess if you two weren't always messing around! You two are fired! No more chances, just get out of here.
- Benson! Look! - What? What does it say? Yeah man, what does it say? Get back to work.