The Incredible Hulk (1978) s03e13 Episode Script

As long as you're on my payroll, no matter what you hear about the Hulk, you don't touch it.
(PANTING) You are obsessed with this story to the exclusion of all else.
McGEE: And I intend to prove to you that the Hulk does exist.
I've seen that thing.
This guy I work with, he is the Hulk.
NARRATOR: Dr.
David Banner, physician, scientist.
Searching for a way to tap into the hidden strengths that all humans have.
Then, an accidental overdose of gamma radiation alters his body chemistry.
And now, when David Banner grows angry or outraged, a startling metamorphosis occurs.
(ROARS) The creature is driven by rage and pursued by an investigative reporter.
Mr.
McGee, don't make me angry.
You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.
The creature is wanted for a murder he didn't commit.
David Banner is believed to be dead.
And he must let the world think that he is dead until he can find a way to control the raging spirit that dwells within him.
(ROARS) (PANTING) (GROWLING) (PANTING) Hey, boss.
Come in.
Send it in.
What is it? Sorry to bother you, but it's Jack McGee.
Is this personal or professional? No.
Now look, Jack and I can work out our personal differences on our own.
We Good.
I'm sorry.
Go on, go on.
Well, you gave him that exclusive with Senator Burley's secretary, and Garland, Garland, just a minute.
Now I've told you before that I think that McGee is the best man for that story.
Besides, you're a little late because the interview was last night.
It's later than you think.
What do you mean? Well, she was there, ready to spill the beans about her boss, but Jack never made it.
She took the story to LIMELIGHT.
I just got a phone call from a friend of mine.
It's a great story, Mark.
A lot of very kinky stuff.
(CLEARS THROAT) Get me Jack McGee.
Well, where is he? And he hasn't checked in? Call his place and see if anything's wrong, will you? Thanks.
Maybe he's out chasing big green men again, huh? Just a minute.
We don't know that for sure.
You know, this is the third good story he's missed this month because of the Hulk.
What's gotten into him lately? Everybody's noticed.
You know, it's a good thing Steinhauer isn't here.
When is he coming back? Four months.
For a honeymoon? Yeah.
Must be really crazy about this one, huh? (LAUGHING) You know, I'm glad he's finally giving you the chance that you deserve.
You should be very flattered that he's leaving you in charge for so long.
Knock it off, Garland, will you? He's not.
He's decided it's time for the next generation to learn the family business.
Here.
"In my absence, all publisher's duties "will be performed by my daughter.
" PATRICIA: I had the layout department draw up this graph for me.
We're bypassing a large segment of the American public.
Mmm-hmm.
Students, working women, businessmen.
This is it? Yes.
Oh, call Thayer back and tell him to forget it.
I'll handle the others.
I thought we'd get the employees here involved, run a contest for a slogan, we're changing our image, that sort of thing.
I'll bet you within two months we can change this chart completely without hurting our circulation.
Yes.
Mark, they said you want to speak to me? No, not now.
They said urgent.
Oh, well, later, in my office.
It's all right.
Mr.
McGee, isn't it? Yeah.
You're Steinhauer's girl Pat.
Patty, right.
Sure, sure.
You've changed.
It's been a while.
For the better, I might add.
Meaning I wasn't any good before? No.
It's all right.
I wanted to talk to you, Mr.
McGee.
Oh, please, Patty, call me Jack.
Please, Jack, call me Miss Steinhauer.
For appearance's sake, of course.
The period of adjustment will be difficult for a lot of people, so let's keep it on a professional basis until we get used to each other.
Don't you agree, gentlemen? Well, I haven't had a chance to tell the staff yet.
I only received your father's telegram this morning.
Daddy means well, but he isn't very efficient.
It's necessary to start out with the understanding that I'm not just a figurehead here at The Register.
There will be changes that affect all of us, but in the long run, I think they'll be for the best.
We can get a broader readership base, and at the same time keep the American housewife, who, by the way, I think has been highly underestimated.
What sort of changes? I plan to increase our circulation and at the same time put out a publication to be proud of.
What sort of changes? I don't like being interrupted, Mr.
McGee.
We're changing the tone of The Register.
We're taking out the trash.
No more fad diets, no more predictions, no more flying saucers, unless they're spotted by the Air Force.
We're going hard news all the way.
McGEE: Terrific.
MARK: What? Look, Jack, I don't think you realize Now you'll still work on some of your current assignments.
This Senator's secretary, for example.
Great story.
I'd really like to nail this guy.
Actually, I've got a couple of very strong leads on the Hulk, right now.
I'd like to stick with those.
Mr.
McGee, I thought you agreed.
We're dropping the Hulk.
Oh, that's ridiculous.
Only hard news.
The Hulk is hard news.
The Hulk is no news.
He's pure fiction.
No, wrong.
I've seen him.
I've seen what he can do.
Come on, Mr.
McGee.
Look, baby, I think that you're making a Don't patronize me, Mr.
McGee! The Hulk is out.
Mark, talk to her.
(STAMMERS) You're making a mistake.
Drop it, Mr.
McGee.
I have made my decision.
Look, Miss Steinhauer, I think if you just hear me out I said drop it! You may go now.
Oh, my God.
Jack! MURIEL: Mr.
Roberts.
MARK: Yes.
Jack McGee's on the edge of the roof.
What? Call the fire department and get the police.
And get a photographer out there! Mr.
McGee? What? Why don't you come away from the edge? Edge? Maybe I was a little bit hasty.
I didn't realize the Hulk meant this much to you.
Oh PATRICIA: No! I mean, let's talk about it.
PATRICIA: We're your friends.
You mean you don't want me to Of course not.
Why shouldn't I? We can solve this together.
What'll you give me if I don't jump? The Hulk? (CHUCKLES) You don't even think the Hulk is real.
If I can prove to you that the Hulk exists, will you let me keep the story? (SIGHS) Yes.
Now will you please come away from the edge.
You gotta promise.
I promise.
Now will you please come away from there.
Mark, did you hear her? I heard it.
I heard it.
Thank you, Mr.
McGee.
Oh, hey, baby, call me Jack.
I don't care if you weren't going to jump! You're still out of your mind! Why else would you stand on the ledge of a building? Because it is the only place around here that you're gonna find a little privacy, except the men's room and that was occupied.
Look, I am not fighting this Hulk thing for my health.
It's got three strikes against it.
Go on.
First of all, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that this creature was born of my father's vivid imagination and your not-too-shabby abilities as a reporter.
Gee, thanks.
And I intend to prove to you that the Hulk does exist.
Number two.
Secondly, you haven't even come up with anything new.
It's the same old stuff.
Hulk sighted, Hulk destroys, Hulk disappears.
A good reporter will only bring in what he has actually seen himself or what witnesses, reliable witnesses, tell him.
So, number three.
Three.
You are obsessed with this story to the exclusion of all else.
That's not true.
Oh, I have a file here on stories that have fallen by the wayside while you're out chasing fairytales.
Good old Garland.
Turn in his own grandmother, wouldn't he? That's your whole argument for point number three? I don't know.
Maybe you're right.
Maybe I am obsessed with it.
All I know is that this is the most important thing that's ever happened to me and that I've got to stay with it.
Why? I don't know.
Besides, it doesn't really matter, does it? I mean, you made me a promise, didn't you? You told me that I could stay on the story.
If you can prove that the Hulk exists.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
"Lf.
" Sure.
Sometimes I forget just how ridiculous this whole thing must sound to an outsider.
In the beginning, I didn't really believe the thing myself when I first heard about it.
McGEE: I mean, reports of a giant green creature.
But I was assigned to the story, so I followed it up.
It seemed to me like a giant hoax, maybe for publicity, I don't know, until I overheard two very reputable scientists discussing the creature.
They'd seen it.
They knew that it was real.
And then I saw it, too.
I can't possibly describe what it was like seeing that terrible creature.
It killed the only two people who really understood what it was, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.
PATRICIA: Think about it.
The shock of the explosion, two people are dying as you watch.
There's nothing you can do to save them.
So you create this monster to ease your guilt.
An hallucination.
It's nothing to be ashamed of.
There's your hallucination.
Mr.
McGee, do you believe in flying saucers? Of course not.
Yeah, I know, I know.
It's a lid off a garbage can.
What about Bigfoot or the Loch Ness monster? I get your point.
This is different.
Why? The people who see these flying saucers are just as sure of their sightings as you are of the Hulk.
I'm just not convinced.
Neither was I.
But I had to find out just what it was that I had seen.
So I started following up anything that was even remotely connected with the Hulk.
A lot of wasted time.
But then finally it happened.
(ALL CHEERING) (ROARS) There I was, face to face with him.
He was more awesome than I'd remembered.
I felt totally helpless.
I promised myself never to be caught that off-guard again.
(ROARS) I've tried everything from the obvious to the obscure.
Right here in this building, in the basement, I had him cornered with this heavy-duty animal tranquilizer.
He got me so rattled, I shot myself.
He practically killed me.
The creature blew through a wall of paper rolls that must have weighed tons.
I followed, but the drug was wearing me down.
I felt paralyzed, bruised.
But I could also feel the creature close by.
Very close.
I guess I passed out, but just before that I saw a man.
It's a physical aspect of the creature that's almost beyond belief.
Almost? I wouldn't have believed if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes.
Perfectly normal man, this John Doe.
Except that under certain circumstances, which I am still trying to figure out, he goes through this metamorphosis.
I realized why the creature was able to just disappear with no trace.
He becomes a man and then just melts into the crowd.
And this phenomenon, whatever it is that makes him a freak, it's my responsibility as a journalist to expose it to the public and the scientific community.
He has no right to deny the world the knowledge of what he becomes.
I don't see that you've had much success.
Wrong.
I'm getting closer all the time.
He always manages to see me before I see him.
He's very intelligent.
He's a survivor.
And he's able to take advantage of even the most hopeless situation.
I feel as if I know him.
Strange.
PATRICIA: Not so strange.
The creature is obviously a projection of your own psyche.
Not likely.
He's monstrous.
Yet I'm terrified that sooner or later, someone's going to kill him (GUN FIRES) And that we'll never know the truth.
Aspirin? Thanks.
One of these days I'm gonna be one step ahead of him.
Damn, I thought Daddy had this fixed.
You know, Jack, this sounds like a classic case of frustration aggression.
Really.
Sometimes highly motivated people create a barrier to justify their failures.
The Hulk is a good excuse to avoid real stories that would test your worth as a reporter.
Don't tell me you minored in psychology.
We spent a lot of time studying this sort of thing.
Have you ever considered getting professional help? That won't be necessary.
Analysis can be a wonderful thing.
It's not just me.
What about all the other people who've seen him? Hundreds of people saw the Hulk at a rock concert.
They saw what the creature can do, the tremendous power.
Are they crazy? (ROARS) Maybe they should all be committed, huh? PATRICIA: If so many people have seen him, why are we the only ones paying any attention? I mean, Jack, this creature is supposedly huge, and yet you say he's even been sighted on Broadway in New York.
It certainly is a comment on our society, isn't it? They all think he's part of the show.
Or they don't want to get involved.
It's strange, isn't it, how people manage to ignore those things that they can't understand.
What's the point of laying all this on you? While I've been chasing the Hulk, you were out jetting around the globe with the in-crowd.
I gave up everything in my life outside of this story.
There was a girl.
And when she left me, I just barely noticed.
I haven't voted in two years.
Damn thing runs my life.
You couldn't possibly understand.
You're right.
I couldn't possibly understand such dedication.
Look, it's late, I have a lot to do.
Why don't you go on home and we'll talk about this further tomorrow.
Sure.
The Hulk is an important story, Miss Steinhauer.
You can't just write it off.
(PANTING) The Hulk is no news.
He's pure fiction.
Have you ever considered getting professional help? The Hulk is no news.
He's pure fiction.
(ROARS) (BREATHS DEEPLY) (PHONE RINGING) Hello? Sorry to wake you.
What are you doing up at this hour? You're not the only one who takes his work seriously.
That's one of the things I respect most about you.
Respect? Yes, I do respect you.
In fact, I think that the two of us together could do wonderful things with The National Register.
Which is why I don't want to lose you.
Which is why I've decided to make you a deal.
Well, good.
You're famous for those.
Don't you ever let it rest? You're right.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Go ahead.
Work on some other assignments for a while.
Show us that you can be an objective reporter.
Good, fine.
What about the leads on the Hulk that come in the meantime? I'm sure they're useless.
People who read us hear about a $10,000 reward and they all start seeing green men.
How can you be so ignorant? Listen to you.
You're like an alcoholic when it comes to the Hulk, and the only way you're gonna be cured is to give him up entirely! All right.
I'll take the story to another paper.
Oh, like The Washington Post, or TIME magazine, maybe? Why should they believe you any more than I do? Okay, I'll work on it by myself.
Fine.
But as long as you're on my payroll, no matter what you hear about the Hulk or where you think he is, you don't touch it.
Understand? There is no more Hulk assignment, Mr.
McGee, because there is no Hulk.
MAN: What is that? (GRUNTS) GARLAND: Oh, Mark.
Yeah? I got some fact sheets here.
Which ones do you want us to keep working on? What have you got? I got the monkey brain transplant.
Keep that.
I got the Schneider follow-up.
I think the boss will like that.
Keep that, too.
The cauliflower diet.
Cauliflower? Mmm-hmm.
Lose it.
A new Hulk sighting.
(SIGHS) You've really got a streak in you, Richard.
Where was he seen? Forget it, Jack.
You're off the story.
Dump it.
Anything else? No.
Go.
Oh, coffee, Jack? No willpower, buddy? (KNOCK AT DOOR) Come in.
How's about a little truce? We can try.
I was looking over the layout for the next edition.
I like the way you're going.
Hmm.
But? But, well, I think that you might consider taking on a financial editor that would lend a serious tone.
Good idea.
Thank you.
Plenty more where that came from.
I've been thinking about the Hulk.
You are the most stubborn man I've ever met.
That's right.
You heard about today's call.
Gary, Indiana.
Uh-huh.
Garland's handling junk fillers.
Garland? Mmm-hmm.
Well, now that I think is a bad idea.
Garland couldn't He could never understand the pure power of that creature.
McGEE: Witnesses saw him rip an entire engine out of a car.
PATRICIA: Really, Jack? I have sworn statements.
Hundreds.
I've seen the results of his destruction.
It's overwhelming.
I sometimes wonder if there's anything strong enough to stop him.
It's as if his only reason for existing is to destroy.
Now that is something that I don't think Garland could ever understand.
Stephenson, maybe.
Liberti.
They're both good men, but Garland? I think you'd live to regret that one.
They say you can learn from your mistakes.
Yeah, well, they also say something about learning from experience.
Why don't you get out of here? Hit the streets with me.
You might begin to see some of my problems.
I don't have time to learn about your problems! I've been shoved into a very awkward position here.
An accident of birth.
Please, don't hold that against me.
Give me a chance to make the right decisions, as well as the wrong ones.
I'll consider your suggestion.
It's the least I can do.
Thanks.
Miss Steinhauer, you're a pretty smart lady.
Thanks.
And call me Pat.
Pat.
Pat.
(GRUNTING) Hello, when is your next flight out for Gary, Indiana? Good, fine.
Yeah, I think I do.
Uh Listen, never mind, okay? I'll call you back.
Yeah, it's Jack.
Listen, I've gotta talk to you.
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING) (SIGHS) This hour of the evening, it had better be good.
(CHUCKLES) I almost flew to Gary, Indiana tonight.
What stopped you? You did.
I got to thinking about what you said about me.
About how I was like an alcoholic about the Hulk.
That I think about him all the time.
Night and day.
Awake, asleep.
You were right.
I guess I should be flattered.
Oh, you are a woman of rare qualities, Miss Steinhauer.
You know, I think that I would've noticed that about you sooner if you weren't so good at hiding your feelings.
What makes you say that? The old cliché.
We recognize in others the little things that we do not like in ourselves.
(SIGHS) And besides, I I needed you tonight.
And you're here.
Jack, I The only thing that's important to me right now is this job.
Proving myself.
Mmm.
Don't tell me.
Because you are a woman.
Partly.
(SIGHS) But then, too, my father built this newspaper from the ground up.
And whether you agree with his philosophy or not, you have to respect that.
And then he just turns around and hands it to me.
No struggle, no sweat.
No one respects that.
Does it matter to you whether I respect you or not? Yes, it does.
Why? Because you were right about me.
I've always had everything I ever wanted.
Hmm.
The right schools Yes.
the right clothes, the right friends.
Sure, all on a silver platter.
(SIGHS) And none of it ever really mattered very much.
Poor little rich girl.
I suppose.
But now I have something that I really care about.
A major newspaper Yes! It's a huge responsibility.
It would be for anyone, even with the experience.
But think of what it is to someone like me.
So the rest of the world stops while you prove you're more than just the boss's daughter.
And you've got the nerve to call me obsessed.
Jack, this is not the Hulk.
This is real.
What? Jack.
You mean to say that after all of this, you still think that I just made that whole thing up? Are you serious? I am dead serious.
I do not want to argue about something as absurd as the Hulk! No problem.
(PHONE RINGING) Yeah, hello.
Mr.
McGee, my name is Chuck Schlosser.
I've seen that thing.
The Hulk.
Yeah, go on.
Well, it's weird.
You're not gonna believe this, but there's this guy I work with, he is the Hulk.
Have you told anybody else about this? I called your newspaper, but they kind of gave me the runaround.
Then I remembered the reward, so I figured I'd give you a try.
Good.
This guy you work with, could you describe him? Slender, medium height, brown hair.
Hell, I can take you right to him.
What do you say? You interested? You bet I am.
MURIEL ON SPEAKERPHONE: Yes? Is Jack Is Mr.
McGee at his desk yet? No, he's not.
Has he checked in or left any message? No, he hasn't.
Tell Mr.
Roberts I'd like to see him.
(MARK CHUCKLES) Lmmediately.
You drink it black? No.
Learn.
Have you heard from Jack? Yeah.
Is he in? No.
He's catching a plane to Gary.
Gary, Indiana? Gary, Indiana.
We sound like a Broadway show tune.
I tried to talk him out of it, but I couldn't stop him.
Well, I can stop him.
I'll fire him.
You can't do that.
I can do anything I want.
He quit.
Coffee, tea or unemployment insurance? You got my message.
Are you referring to that secondhand resignation of yours? What are you doing here? It's nothing personal.
Personal? (CHUCKLES) Oh, Patricia, I could accuse you of a good many things, but personal? With me? Never.
I knew we didn't agree on much, but I thought we were mature enough not to mix business with pleasure.
You don't mix anything with pleasure.
You ought to learn to practice what you preach That's no reason to quit.
And anyway, what ever happened to two weeks notice? I had to leave.
I have to try to prove that this creature and John Doe exist.
To you and to myself.
How are you going to do that? Well, I thought I would try to capture him.
I checked a package, so it's a dart gun and some curare.
Curare? Curare.
C-U-R I know how to spell it.
It's deadly poison.
It's not deadly.
Paralyzes the nervous system a little bit.
Jack, you're going to Gary, Indiana, not deepest, darkest Africa.
All right, I believe you.
This giant green man does exist.
Early A-bomb testing mutated hibernating leprechauns trapped in an Ice Age glacier that was drifting down here from Ireland.
Now let's get off this plane and back to the office.
Please.
You couldn't possibly understand unless you'd seen it with your own eyes.
If you're planning to go to Gary, you'd better buckle up.
McGEE: Hey, we're looking for a man named Schlosser.
That's me.
Here.
You better put these on.
Are we going inside? If you want your man, you are.
Where is he? He's in there.
Did you bring the reward with you? If you can come up with a man who turns green, we'll come up with $10,000.
PATRICIA: Jack! Jack! Jack, are you all right? CHUCK: There he goes.
McGEE: John, wait! John! (MCGEE GROANS) This way, quick! CHUCK: Hold it, you can't go in there! We'll head him off! (HULK GROWLING) (ROARS) PATRICIA: My God, Jack, you were right.
I believe you.
I never thought I'd see this in one of my papers.
Do you forgive me? Well, a good reporter never accepts anything entirely on trust.
Neither should a good publisher.
Yeah, but if I hadn't stopped you, you might have gotten there sooner.
Maybe even caught John Doe.
Maybe.
If you hadn't stopped me, if I hadn't stumbled, if I hadn't made so many mistakes during the last couple of years, who knows, the Hulk could be history by now.
It's all right.
Gives me something to look forward to.
It's too bad I won't be there when you get him.
What do you mean? I've been fired.
You're kidding.
Well, laid off, really.
Daddy's honeymoon was cut short somewhere between Rio and Acapulco.
Something about irreconcilable differences.
Well, that's That's really too bad.
Between us, I think the two of us could've turned this paper around.
Well, the news isn't all bad.
For one thing, I'm not your boss anymore.
Yeah, that would follow, wouldn't it.
In light of that, how would you feel about a little dinner tonight? Jack, phone call.
Can I call them back? No.
The Hulk's just been seen outside of Toledo.
Do you know any good restaurants around Toledo? We'll find one.