The Ranch (2016) s03e13 Episode Script

1 Dad? Nick's gone.
What happened? I told him I thought it'd be best if he moved on.
He's not coming back.
You told him to leave? Why would you do that? Look at you.
Walking up to an ex-con's house, angry, with a rifle in your hand.
I had one way to find Rooster and you just fucked it up.
I know this is hard, Colt.
Because of you.
If Nick was here, I'd have some answers.
Come on, Colt, stop.
Christ.
There's nothin' in there.
[QUIETLY.]
How do you know? You don't know anything.
You just made up your mind as to what's gonna happen.
I'm trying to protect you.
Bullshit.
You always talk about being there for the family.
But when the shit hits the fan you're fuckin' worthless.
Cowboys ain't easy to love And they're harder to hold They'd rather give you a song Than diamonds or gold Lonestar belt buckles and old faded Levi's And each night begins a new day You don't understand him And he don't die young He'll probably just ride away Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys Don't let 'em pick guitars and drive them old trucks Let 'em be doctors and lawyers and such Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys Hey, you.
Hey! What are you doing here?! Oh, I wanted to be with you.
- [ABBY.]
Gosh.
- Thank you, but I told you I'm doin' all right.
- I talked to your dad and he's worried.
- Oh! - He's full of shit.
- You got a black eye.
Babe, I'm fine.
And Rooster is fine.
I'm close to finding him.
That Nick ran him out of town.
So if I can get into Rooster's bank account I can use his credit-card charges to track him.
[ABBY CLEARS THROAT.]
When's the last time you slept? Oh, I slept a little bit in the back of the police car.
Back of the police car? - What the fuck happened? - Don't worry.
I Help me figure out his password.
I already tried "Redneck Rambo," "Fuck Tom Brady," "Mr.
Carrie Underwood.
" I can't imagine what you're going through right now, but maybe you should put the computer down and talk to me.
I'm in.
[CHUCKLES.]
His password's "Colt sucks.
" I shoulda known that.
Mine's "Colt rules," but with a "Z.
" Let's see what you can find.
All right, here we go.
Checking and savings? - Who's he? Papa John? - [ABBY CHUCKLES.]
Okay, recent charges.
Holy shit.
It's the Backcountry Lodge, Norwood.
- That's from today.
- Yep.
I found him.
I fuckin' found him.
I can't believe this.
We gotta tell your dad.
No, he'll find out when Rooster comes home.
Oh, and remind me to change his password to "Colt Rulez.
" [CHUCKLES.]
[DALE.]
How's Colt, er doing with all this? Not good.
He's mad at everything and everybody.
I think Abby being here's gonna help a lot.
Thing is, I can understand why Colt's so angry.
He knew right away that something was wrong.
And I brushed him off.
What kind of a father ignores his son? There's not a damn thing you coulda done different.
There's a lot of things I coulda done different.
Don't beat yourself up, Beau.
You raised good men with good hearts.
When my house burned down Colt went over there to salvage stuff.
And he was so excited when he came back with that jewelry that I didn't have the heart to tell him he stole it from my neighbor's house.
And then Rooster left me a bottle of whiskey, with a note on it that said, "Fight fire with Fireball.
" Well, it was half a bottle.
[CHUCKLES.]
Go ahead.
You always say the right thing.
And thank you, pard.
Just lookin' at you reminds me that things could always be worse.
[LAUGHING.]
Fuck you, Beau.
[BEAU.]
Maggie.
- Joanne.
- I'm so sorry, Maggie.
Thank you so much for being here.
Hey, Dale.
If you need a reason to smile, come by and visit Charlene and me.
We got a new puppy.
Labradoodle.
We named him Matlock.
OK, I'll be sure to do that.
Why don't we give you a minute? Thanks, Dale.
I can't believe this has happened.
Hell of a way to spend your birthday.
Is Colt any better? No.
But Abby's with him.
This whole thing's just unbelievable.
[WHISPERING.]
It is.
I wanna see where it happened.
You sure you wanna do that? No, I need to.
["HAND TO HOLD" PLAYING.]
your hand in mine Let your heart unwind Let the music speak to your soul So your broken heart May once more be whole - Cuz at least you got my hand to hold - [MAGGIE SOBS.]
[COLT.]
Holy shit.
This is Rooster's duffle.
Does kinda smell like Rooster in here.
CK One and old hot dog water.
Check it out.
Check it out.
Genesis 2.
2.
"On the seventh day, God created Rooster, and Eve said 'We're gonna need a bigger fig leaf.
'" He writes this in every Bible.
- We fuckin' found him.
- [ABBY LAUGHS.]
When's the last time that you saw him? I don't know, couple days ago.
Yeah, but his credit card was charged today.
Card's on file.
We keep charging till they check out.
Oh.
Fuckin' same way Netflix gets you.
Could you give us a minute? - Sure.
- Thanks.
- He's probably out gettin' beer.
- How d'you know? There ain't no beer in here.
The manager said they haven't seen him in a couple days.
He's hiding from Nick.
If Rooster don't wanna be found, he ain't gonna be found.
He's like a ninja.
He could be hidin' behind this curtain.
Huh.
He's not.
How awesome would it have been if he was.
[COLT SIGHS.]
Yeah, whatever.
He'll be back soon.
So, what, we're just gonna wait for him? Why wouldn't we wait? Yeah, you're right.
Of course, we'll wait for him.
[ABBY SIGHS.]
If we're staying, I'm gonna hit up the vending machine, get us some redneck room service.
Oh, see if you can see one dangling.
That way you get two.
I know how to get doubles from the vending machine, Colt.
[MELANCHOLY PIANO MUSIC.]
Arh! [TAKES A DEEP BREATH.]
Look at this picture of Rooster.
That smile.
That was the day he lost his first tooth.
Yeah.
Colt heard the Tooth Fairy'd put money under your pillow so he knocked out one of Rooster's front teeth with a hammer.
You were pissed they got blood on the hammer so you put a note under Rooster's pillow that said, "Money went to cleaning expenses.
" Remember how losin' that tooth gave Rooster a little "lithp.
" It was hard not to laugh when he was running around the house, and going, "Colt'th an ath-hole.
" [MAGGIE GASPS.]
Look.
This is when we brought him home from the hospital.
He's so small.
Fuck.
I wish there was somethin' I could say, Mags.
I just remember in a thunderstorm, how he'd get into bed with us and stick his little toes under my leg, y'know, just to [VOICE WAVERS.]
make sure I was still there.
[QUIETLY.]
Yeah.
This isn't supposed to happen.
You're not supposed to outlive your children.
Beau, what are we gonna do? I don't know.
I honestly don't know.
Yeah, well I'm lost, so [DOOR KNOCKS.]
[SNIFFS.]
[CLEARS THROAT.]
- Hey, Mary.
- Hey, Maggie.
I'm so sorry.
[MAGGIE.]
Thank you.
- Hey, Beau.
- Hey, Mary.
Good to see you.
You, too.
[MARY SNIFFS.]
There a steak in that bag? - I think I smell steak.
- Yeah.
Yeah, I thought you guys might be hungry.
I'm sure Charlene brought one of her special casseroles.
- She did.
- Yeah.
Only thing worse are her gluten-free, sugar-free Christmas cookies.
My dog won't even eat one of those and he literally eats cat shit.
How you guys doin'? Best we can.
It's tough.
Yeah.
Erm So I've been, er I've been thinking about everything and I just wanna say I'm so sorry.
We all are.
No.
No, Colt was right.
If I hadn't let Nick back into my life [WAVERS.]
he and Rooster never woulda had a problem and none of this ever woulda happened.
I am so sorry.
Listen, Mary it's not your fault.
It was an accident.
We've been playin' that game all day.
I'm the one that taught Rooster how to ride.
Well, hell, I'm the one who loaned him the money for the bike.
There's nothin' anybody coulda done.
[VOICE WAVERING.]
I'm just so upside down, y'know? I just keep expecting him to walk through that door with a six-pack and that fake country music award he used to carry around to pick up chicks.
Yeah.
Hey, I keep listening to his last voice-mail.
It's kinda comforting to hear his voice.
Even if he is asking how far after the expiration date you can still drink milk.
Fuckin' knucklehead.
God, I miss him.
Me, too.
Yeah, we all do.
[TIRES ON GRAVEL.]
Something I can do for you, son? Mornin'.
I have news about Rooster.
Oh, hey, you're up.
Good.
Got you a decaf from the lobby.
There was also some donuts there, but there was a big can of OFF! right next to 'em, so I just spoke to your dad.
What the hell'd he want? Sit down.
- [ABBY CLEARS THROAT.]
- [COLT SIGHS.]
Erm Well, the, erm The police came by.
And they're calling off the search for Rooster.
Why? Apparently they found his wallet and some clothing and there was blood on it [VOICE CRACKS.]
about a half-mile down the river.
Sorry.
Okay.
So? So? Now they're switching it from search and rescue to search and recovery.
- [ABBY SIGHS.]
- Who cares? They weren't gonna find him, anyway.
Just goes to show how far he went to make this whole disappearance look real.
- [SIGHING.]
Colt, come on.
- [COLT.]
I'm serious.
Okay.
You know this room is a part of it.
Right? I figured it out last night.
I was If Rooster's in hiding, right, why would he use his credit card to stay here? It's too easy to track.
I figured it out and I'm a fuckin' idiot.
Then why is all his stuff here? It's a decoy room.
Babe, all this stuff, this is decoy stuff.
Throw Nick off his trail.
Look at this stuff.
He wouldn't pack any of this Fuckin' jean shorts? A collared shirt? A book?! Colt.
No one wants to see Rooster again more than I do, okay? I wanna see him walk through that door and say, "Badass," and pretend that this is his baby and do all the other stupid shit that he does, but at some point we are going to have to face reality.
What reality? The fact that he might not be coming back at all! He's out there.
I want to believe that, too.
Then believe it! During the fire, when you were lost, and the police told me I wasn't allowed to go look for you, that didn't stop me.
- This is different.
- No! It's not! I knew you were alive! And I was gonna bring you back, and I did.
And with or without your help, I'm bringin' Rooster back, too.
- Colt - Let's go.
Colt [ABBY SIGHS.]
Oh, Jesus.
Hey, Colt.
Mom.
Hi.
Hey.
I thought you were gonna come in the house when you dropped Abby off.
I didn't wanna get into it with Dad again.
You change your hair? No, just Aunt Karen started chemo, and you know that whole "shave your head for solidarity.
" Well, she wasn't a very good sister, so I got highlights.
Looks great.
Hey, erm I just Sorry you had to come all the way back for no reason.
You're sorry? Of course, when I heard, I'd be here.
Well, maybe now you can help me find him, huh? Look You probably don't wanna hear this, but your father and I have put together a little something this Saturday for Rooster.
You're havin' a funeral? No, no.
We're gonna have a celebration of his life.
A celebration of his life? Yeah.
[COLT SIGHS.]
I'll have a fuckin' funeral when there's a body to bury.
Colt finding a body or not he's gone.
Jesus Christ.
Is that what you came here to say? I mean, everyone in this family just can't wait to fuckin' forget about him.
You think I don't want him alive as much as you do? You don't think I wouldn't give the world to have him back? But it's not going to happen.
How do you say that? Because yesterday was my birthday.
And every year, without fail, Rooster calls to sing "Happy Birthday" to me.
I mean, usually drunk, sometimes from jail, once with Chumlee from Pawn Stars, but he never doesn't call, until yesterday.
Mom Mom.
Mom he couldn't call you because he's hiding.
He doesn't want anyone to know where he is.
Okay, that is not what's happening here.
Mom I promise you you are going to see Rooster Okay, stop it.
Just stop it, Colt! Stop it, because every time you say that, it breaks my heart.
Because I get some hope, y'know, that he's gonna come walking through the door, and he's not.
You have to start to accept this or we're gonna lose our fuckin' minds, just stop! Don't! You know what? You just got married, right? You have a baby on the way.
They need you.
I need you.
- Please, let him go.
- No.
- He can't be gone! - I'm sorry.
No! [VOICE CRACKS.]
I've been away for 15 years! And things are just goin' right! We got the ranch! He's gonna be an uncle, and you're telling me I'm never gonna see him again? No, I'm sorry that My brother cannot be dead! - I'm so sorry, baby.
- [COLT SOBS.]
[COLT BLUBS.]
[MAGGIE SOBS.]
["DRINK A BEER" PLAYS.]
[MUSIC CONTINUES.]
When I got the news today I didn't know what to say So I just hung up the phone I took a walk to clear my head This is where the walking led Can't believe you're really gone Rooster was wise beyond his years.
Did you know that if you're going over 90 on the toll road they can't take a picture of your plates? Well, Rooster did.
But the best advice he ever gave me was whatever you do, don't date my dad.
[CONGREGATION CHUCKLE.]
Even though it was such a short time, I'm glad I got to know him.
Don't feel like going home So I'm gonna sit right here On the edge of this pier Watch the sunset disappear And drink a beer I miss Rooster so much.
Watching The Bachelor with him, eating fried chicken The stupid "breast" and "thighs" jokes - he made every single time.
- [CONGREGATION LAUGHS.]
And, y'know, sure he wore "Got MILF" t-shirts and he used peach schnapps for mouthwash.
[VOICE WAVERS.]
But he He was also sweet.
And vulnerable.
[VOICE CRACKS.]
And really kind.
Funny how the good ones go Too soon but the good lord knows The reasons why I guess Jameson was our first born.
And he Well, the relationship that we had I know God has some plan.
I just think it's really hard to know what that is right now.
Maybe he just wanted somebody up there to make him laugh, right? I'm sure Rooster's having a a beard-off with Jesus or [CHUCKLES FROM CONGREGATION.]
trying to convince him to turn some water into Bud Light.
Sometimes the greater plan Is kinda hard to understand Right now it don't make sense I can't make it all make sense So I'm gonna sit right here On the edge of this pier Watch the sunset disappear 'Course things weren't always great between us.
The last thing I said to my son was that I didn't need him.
And that he was an embarrassment.
[VOICE CRACKS.]
Neither one of those things is true.
I love you, Rooster.
And I was always proud of you.
[LABORED BREATHS.]
You were a hell of a rancher and a better man.
You held this family together.
I don't know what we're gonna do without you.
Colt.
[COLT SOBS.]
[COLT.]
I'm so sorry.
You have nothing to be sorry about.
[COLT SNIFFS.]
So I'm gonna sit right here On the edge of this pier Watch the sunset disappear And drink a beer Got this in the mail today.
[SOBBING.]
Rooster must've sent it when he found out we got the ranch.
Also got a note.
[SIGHS.]
[SNIFFS.]
[SOBS.]
"Hey, little bro.
We fucking did it.
" Shit.
Sorry, God.
[CONGREGATION CHUCKLES.]
"Bennett Brothers' Ranch You made this happen.
Thank you.
Nobody around to teach you how to ranch except maybe Tony Stewart.
" [LAUGHS.]
[congregation chuckles[ Oh [SNIFFS.]
"Seriously " [SOBS.]
"I love you.
If you ever tell anyone I said this, I'll kick your ass.
" Oh Well, he also sent a baby gift.
[CONGREGATION CHUCKLES.]
[SNIFFS.]
[SNIFFS.]
[SIGHS.]
Rooster wasn't just my big brother.
He was my best friend.
And, er [SNIFFS.]
he was always afraid they [STUTTERS.]
[CHUCKLES.]
they weren't gonna have Skoal in heaven, so [WHISPERS.]
I got you, big bro.
Drink a beer [SOBS.]
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE.]
I'm glad you came to the service.
Rooster woulda wanted you there.
Yeah, he woulda.
[CHUCKLES.]
Actually, he woulda wanted to be alive and not have a fuckin' funeral.
[SLURRING.]
I'm pretty sure wherever he is, he's glad he got out of his bar tab.
Hey, it's great that so many people are here.
What better way to honor Rooster than everybody gettin' drunk and drivin' home.
[MUTTERS TO HIMSELF.]
What are you doin'? Rooster and I had a little bet, who'd have more people at their funeral.
So, when I die you just remember "43.
" Well you got a built-in advantage 'cause at your funeral I'm bringin' a date.
Oh, my parents are here.
Wait.
Ah, fuck.
All right, "45.
" I'm so sorry we missed the service.
Chuck couldn't fit into his church pants.
Well, I could afford new ones if our Macy's card wasn't maxed out.
Anyway, Colt, we are so sorry about your brother.
Thank you.
Hey, just out of curiosity, y'all would come to my funeral, right? I wouldn't miss it.
You doin' okay, Mom? Yeah, I'm all right.
- Have any more of that Aspirin? - They're Xanax.
[QUIETLY.]
Yeah, I was tryin' to be discreet.
Just gimme a fuckin' pill.
I'm really gonna miss Rooster.
I feel like I should go find a chick to make out with in his honor.
Holy shit.
Is that Tanya Showers? Last time I saw her is when we went fishing Yeah, no one cares.
Hi, Tanya.
Hi.
I'm Colt Bennett.
My brother died.
- I'm sorry.
- I'm real sad.
Oh.
[COLT.]
Ahhhh.
So, how'd you know Rooster? He sent me letters.
Many, many letters.
It was real nice of you Yeah, no one cares, Colt.
Here you go.
Hi, I'm Abby.
- God, I'm sad, too.
- Oh.
Hey, Beau.
- [BEAU.]
Jerry.
- Maggie.
Thanks for coming, Jerry.
Yeah.
I'm so sorry for your loss, which we could turn into a gain against the Honda Corporation of America.
- [TAPPING.]
- [COLT CLEARS THROAT.]
It's weird to be here drinkin' without Rooster.
Hi, Tanya.
Er He was there the first time I got drunk, celebrating state championship, freshman year.
In retrospect, probably shouldn't have done it before the game.
- But, well, we won, so - [ABBY CHUCKLES.]
No, we lost that year.
Yeah, who remembers? - To Rooster.
- [EVERYONE.]
To Rooster.
Hey, Heather? What's up, Hank? Did somethin' happen to Rooster? This old heart's had all it can take It needs a little less wrecking, and a lot more affection Some loving and a little less ache This old heart This old heart Needs a break Yeah, I need a break