The West Wing s03e13 Episode Script
Night Five
Previously on The West Wing: Your father used to hit you, didn't he, Mr.
President? - Your father used to hit you, sir? - Yeah.
- Not like a spanking? - He hit me.
Why? - He punched you.
- It was a complicated relationship.
- Because you were smarter than he was.
- You have stepped way over the line.
- Stanley.
- Josh.
- Your flight was all right? - It was fine.
- How are you? - Me? I'm fine.
- These are your things? - Yeah.
I'll put them in my office.
- Should I go with you? - I'll be right back.
They'll be all right back there.
- Where to? - Ever seen the White House? Just the little I saw when we talked last year.
Follow me.
This is the communications bullpen where Toby Ziegler and Sam Seaborn work.
The rest of the speechwriting staff works across the alley in the Old Executive Office Building.
And here comes the actual Sam Seaborn.
What's going on? Leo's reading it.
We'll send it out in 10, 15 minutes.
So Toby's been banging around.
- What are you doing? - Banging around.
This is Dr.
Keyworth.
- Sam Seaborn.
- Nice to meet you.
- Did you have a good flight? - Yes.
- Anybody you know on the plane? - No.
- Okay.
I'll see you.
- Yeah.
That's Leo's office.
It has a private entrance to the Oval Office, but we'll go in here.
Driver asked me the same question.
- What? - Did I know anybody on the plane.
He wanted to know if you talked to anybody.
- I didn't.
- I know.
This is the Oval Office.
That's the Resolute Desk.
It was built from timbers of the HMS Resolute and given to Hayes by Queen Victoria to thank the U.
S.
for finding the abandoned ship.
We're gonna go to the residence, but I'll take you through the Portico.
Josh? Wouldn't you like to sit someplace and talk? - Yeah.
- Why the tour? - You don't think this is interesting? - It's fascinating If somebody sees us, I'd like them to see me giving you a tour.
Who built the White House? It was designed by an Irish architect named James Hoban who won the job in an open competition.
And it was built largely by slaves.
They found the pay receipts a few years ago.
The slaves were paid? Their owners.
Right through here.
Buchanan was visited by Edward, Prince of Wales.
And he decided there wasn't room for guests.
But it took another 40 years to move all the office space out of the residence.
You're really seeing something, Stanley.
Tours don't go to the second floor of the mansion.
- You're sure it's okay? - Yeah.
We're gonna go in here now.
This is the president's private study.
- His private study? - Yeah.
Okay.
Should we close the door? No, that's all right.
So tell me how you've been feeling.
Good.
- Stanley.
- Hey, Leo.
- You getting a tour of the place? - Yeah.
You show him the North Portico? Leo likes to show people the soot stains.
From when the British torched the place.
- They haven't repainted? - Not that.
When Dolley Madison heard the cannon fire, she evacuated the building but she already had the table set for a 40-person dinner.
So the British soldiers ate and then set the building on fire.
- So the food didn't go to waste.
- That's right.
- How was your flight? - It was fine.
Did you know anyone on the plane? You didn't bring me here to talk to Josh, did you? - No.
- Who did you bring me here to talk to? Dr.
Keyworth did you know anyone on the plane? No.
No, sir, I didn't know anyone on the plane.
We'll leave you alone.
- The speech is going out? - In a few minutes.
- I'm Jed Bartlet.
- Stanley Keyworth.
- I guess we knew that.
- Yes, sir.
- I've been having trouble sleeping.
- I'm sorry? You understand that this is an election year, right? I mean, by itself, who cares? President has trouble sleeping, talks to a doctor.
But with the MS and the hearings, and you're a psychiatrist .
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- I'm not an expert in sleep disorders.
- Yeah.
- I'm a trauma specialist.
- Yeah, we know you.
You helped Josh out last year.
Josh was shot.
Me too.
- Is that why you can't sleep? - How would I know? - That's a fair point.
- Thank you.
Well, Mr.
President tell me the nature of your sleeping problem.
- I can't sleep.
- What happens when you try to sleep? - I stay awake.
- How long has it been? Four nights.
- You haven't slept in four nights? - Right.
- It must be hard.
- Yeah.
- Have you tried taking a sleeping pill? - The third night.
- It didn't work? - Not till the next morning in the middle of a national security briefing.
Well, that's no good.
Stanley, I think you're underselling yourself when you say you're not an expert in sleep disorders because you've been right straight on the money so far.
- How many of those you smoke a day? - Not many.
Nicotine will keep you up at night.
- Never has before.
- It could be now.
You think if I put this out I'm gonna fall asleep? - No.
- Then let's move on.
All right.
Let's rule out some things.
Physical factors.
- Do you have arthritis? - No.
- Heartburn? - No.
Irregular breathing or periodic muscle contractions? - No.
- All right.
Lifestyle factors.
I'm sorry.
Before we get to lifestyle factors, I'm just gonna turn this on.
It's a closed-circuit thing.
I'm at the U.
N.
on Monday.
Leaving Andrews at 8 for the 9:30 address to the General Assembly.
- When do we see copies? - When we're done writing it.
- When do we see copies? - Sunday night.
- Has the State Department reviewed it? - We'll be getting the reviews.
Also House and Senate Foreign Relations.
- And we see it Sunday night? - Sunday night.
That's it, everybody.
That's a full lid.
Thank you, C.
J.
C.
J.
- What are you doing here? - I'm missing a reporter.
- Who? - Bill Price.
- Isn't Billy in the Congo? - Yeah.
Come back here.
He files stories to New York at a predetermined time.
Missed two deadlines in a row.
- Does he miss deadlines? - No.
- What does State say? - I'm having trouble finding people.
- The other end? - I've talked to the embassy.
But this is the Congo.
- What do you think? - I think he left the capital.
- Without written permission? - How would he know? - By reading State background notes.
- Does that sound like Billy? - No.
- C.
J.
, the first 15 minutes are critical in a war zone abduction.
- If he can be delivered to a higher-up - I'll talk to Leo.
I know Billy's been a pain in the ass, but he's got a wife and two kids.
So if you could forget about I don't care that he's been .
Look, if he's missed two deadlines, then his 15 minutes was yesterday.
- I know.
- I'd call his wife.
Yeah.
- Toby.
The pacing.
- Yeah.
Okay, now the standing-still is bothering me a little bit.
This is the fifth time you're reading it.
Are there words you don't understand? There wouldn't be, because you can't rise to a position like yours without .
Look, this is exactly what we said we wanted it to be.
We said we were tired of reading about his scattershot foreign policy.
We said,"You wanna fillet me for this, fine.
" - We said,"When we go to the U.
N .
" - I think it's great.
- Yeah? - I do.
Your wife's gonna have something to say about it.
My ex-wife.
Why do you call her my wife? - It bothers you.
- Everything does.
- But you pick that? - Yeah.
Toby, the night of the lowa caucus, when you got back did you and the president have a conversation that night? Yeah.
l When he got back, for a minute.
- What did you talk about? - Nothing.
- He seemed kind of upset about it.
- It didn't go well.
- What was it? - It was personal.
- It was personal? - Yeah.
Well, that always works well with him.
What has he said about the speech? He thinks it's great.
He hasn't said anything to you? We haven't talked in a little while.
- Toby, what the hell went on in there? - Don't worry about it.
Okay.
I'm gonna read this again.
- Sure.
Because it's that sixth time.
- Yeah.
- Did you read it? - It's great.
Someone's gonna get an ass-kicking from the missus.
It's what we asked for, you know.
- We're gonna have to get ready for it.
- Yeah.
- Something else has come up, though.
- What? Leonard Wallace just came to me.
Billy Price is in the Congo, and he's missed two deadlines.
He hasn't gotten anywhere.
Kinshasa confirmed that a Belgian TV crew shooting outside Goma saw an American captured by Mai Mai rebels.
Hasn't State had a travel advisory out for, like, 10 years? Twenty-four.
What is he doing there? Reporting a story no one is paying attention to.
- Let's talk to the Congolese attaché.
- He's on his way.
Okay.
- He liked it.
- Yeah? Mostly what I wrote.
Not so much what you wrote.
So how long you think before the old lady comes by to give you a whupping? - Her office called already, didn't they? - You bet, baby.
You probably wanna rethink calling me"baby.
" Yeah.
Whoa, Nelly.
Hello.
You could make a good dog break his leash.
I was at a social function.
Americans for the Preservation of Family Values and White People? - The Federalist Society.
- A hootenanny.
- I was paged.
I was told to come in.
- Yes.
Thirty-two fifty is a consolidated appropriations act that we wanna drop in the U.
N.
speech for Monday.
I need you to review the legislative language so we can shop it around the Hill.
- What does it call for? - I don't know.
- Sam.
- It authorizes payment of 926 million in U.
N.
dues in exchange for a reduction in U.
N.
bureaucracy as well as peacekeeping assessments.
- What are we concerned about? - The language is drafted by Republicans.
- We're inscrutable.
- Look for legal land mines.
- Like what? - A ban on German food or amendment saying the French are annoying.
How about we drop out of the U.
N.
entirely and use the 926 million to take everybody in the country out to brunch? - Write that suggestion in the margin.
- I'll be in my office.
I didn't even see that thing from the back.
Well, that takes care of lifestyle factors.
What about environmental factors? - Like what? - Too much light in the room.
No.
- Extremes in room temperature.
- No.
- Noise.
- Noise? Planes flying overhead, that kind of thing.
Planes aren't allowed to fly over the White House.
- You haven't slept in four nights.
- Right.
- How much sleep do you usually get? - Four or five hours.
Well, we've been through physical factors lifestyle factors and environmental factors.
- That leaves us with - Psychological factors.
Yes, sir.
What were the odds? Right.
- So you got a few minutes? - Just a few minutes.
What's going on? We're at the U.
N.
on Monday giving a new foreign-policy speech that's gonna stir some things up.
But the thing is, it was a relatively small circle of people who were consulted on the speech, and that circle got wider tonight.
So it'll be a weekend of bartering.
And Josh is usually one of the point men on that so - You need to get back to the office.
- I have a few minutes.
- How have you been? - Great.
- You guys survived? - Dot-coms didn't run out of steam.
- They didn't? - It's just hype.
- I see.
- Do you? No.
- It's easier to start up now.
- Why? There's less pressure to be a success overnight.
Which brings us to this.
"Capitalscoop.
Com.
" It'll track legislation, profile people in power, spotlight special interest.
- Gossip.
- Not gossip.
Hard substance.
Public policy.
That's why we need all the help we can get.
I doubt I can get Josh involved.
It'd be a conflict.
No, I don't want Josh.
I want you.
- I'm sorry? - I want you.
I don't know where I'd find the time It's Friday at 11.
I'm basically on a lunch break right now.
You don't understand.
I'm talking about full-time.
Issues director for Capitalscoop.
Com.
Well, l I'm surprised, and I'm flattered.
But I'm, you know, not at all qualified.
That's not true.
You've been Josh Lyman's traffic cop.
That's like an M.
A.
in power-brokering.
You know the Hill.
You know every corner of the White House.
You know every pressure point - Is this your operating budget? - It's your starting salary.
- Ginger? - She's not here.
- Is Bonnie here? - They went to get something to eat.
- Have we met? - No.
- I'm Celia Walton.
- Sam Seaborn.
- You were sent over for the week.
- Yeah.
- We appreciate your helping out.
- I go where I'm told.
- Do you mind if I say something to you? - No.
The way you talked to that woman before.
- What woman? - I don't know her name.
The dog on a leash.
That was Ainsley Hayes.
She's an associate counsel.
Yeah.
It was rude.
It was inappropriate, and it was offensive.
- What did I do? - You demeaned her.
No, we're friends.
It's a completely mature .
You know.
- Also, she started it.
- Whatever.
Well .
Okay.
I wasn't demeaning her.
I was complimenting her.
A White House counsel, and you're complimenting her on her sexuality? - She looked good in the dress, I thought.
- Okay.
- Where is he? - Congresswoman.
- Where is he, Sam? - Toby? - Yes.
- I do not know.
- Liar.
- Here to talk about the speech? I and the House International Relations Committee, yes.
Your fingerprints are all over this too.
You and Toby wanna be responsible for starting World War III? - Well, you're gonna.
- I was having a good night.
- Where is he? - I don't know.
- You said that already.
- You asked me again.
I still didn't know.
May I wait in his office? Better his than mine.
- What were we talking about? - I'm a temporary hand here for a week but I don't think it's a joke.
Ginger and Bonnie are getting something to eat.
Yeah.
I need these distributed.
Andy's in your office.
- You let her in my office? - Yeah.
What the hell did you let her in my office for? Okay.
Well, I'm gonna step out for a minute and not be in this area anymore.
How could you do this without consulting people? Come on in.
We consulted plenty of people.
You think Sam and I create foreign policy? I don't know.
You, Sam, Abbott, Costello! We brought in for three weeks.
You bring in anybody from State? Who? Secretary of State.
How can you come here? I'm third on the damn committee.
- It's a presidential address, not a camel.
- A what? A camel! A horse built by committee.
"Freedom must run deeper than the free flow of capital.
Freedom must mean more than the free trade of goods and services.
- The world" - I read it.
"The world will be free when we have freedom of speech for every nation.
" In fact, I wrote it.
"when there is freedom to worship.
The world will be free when we finally shake off the rusted chains of tyranny whether in the guise of fascist dictatorship or ethnic hostility" - A little nervous? - Wait for it.
"The crushing yoke of Islamic fanaticism.
" Gentlemen, start your engines.
Billy's wife is already here.
She's in my office now.
- Is she very upset? - She's .
- Send them in.
- She's with Leonard.
Come in.
Everybody, this is McKennen Loboko, the Congolese attaché.
- McKonnen.
- I'm sorry.
Mr.
Loboko, you know our situation? We've got a reporter who we believe was taken by the Mai Mais.
He shouldn't have traveled without documentation.
The Mai Mais care about documentation, do they? - I beg your pardon.
- He wouldn't have been abducted? We haven't been introduced.
C.
J.
Cregg, White House press secretary.
He sat in my room for a year, his wife's in my office his kids are at home, and I want him back.
You think I have him in my briefcase? This is a shakedown, so tell us how much money and where does it go.
The Congolese government doesn't negotiate with murderers.
The Congolese government is a myth.
I can't talk to this woman.
Mr.
Loboko, how much money and where does it go? - Where have you been? - I told you I was going out.
- For an hour? - Well, yeah.
There's an editorial on sugar subsidies in the International Herald Tribune.
Make sure that Leo gets a copy.
Also, make sure you send me home with a congressional face book.
- Why? - I'm still mixing up Cooper and Hooper.
- Why? - Cooper sounds a lot like Hooper.
- What does it matter? - I got offered a job tonight.
What do you mean? - You know Casey Reed? - No.
- We went to college together.
- That's where you were? - Yeah.
- At a job interview? It wasn't a job interview.
We were meeting for a drink.
- What's the job? - He has an Internet start-up.
- What kind of site? - Commentary.
He asked me to be issues director.
- Issues director? - Yeah.
- For an Internet start-up.
- Dot-coms aren't dying, just the hype.
- Really? - Yeah.
Sounds like the hype's alive and well too.
I suppose.
- You suppose? - Yeah.
You can't take a job that may not be around a year from now.
This job may not be around a year from now.
- He offered you money? - Yeah.
- Well, all I can offer you is a title bump.
- Like what? Senior assistant to the deputy chief of staff for strategic planning.
- That's my title now.
- Then I can't offer you a title bump.
The sugar subsidy editorial and the face book, okay? Cooper and Hooper.
What do you need? There's a thing in this we need to be careful of.
What? They'll approve a new scale of peacekeeping assessments if there's a cost-sharing mechanism, but it isn't fully addressed here.
I should rewrite some of this language before the president goes to the U.
N.
- What? - Let me ask you something.
When I said that you were enough to make a good dog break his leash you understand that men, we're the dog, right? I was the dog.
- I understood the metaphor.
- Okay.
The peacekeeping assessment is based on per capita income with category J countries paying at a 90 percent discount.
- I meant it to make you feel good.
- It did.
- I certainly meant it.
- I appreciate it.
- I didn't mean to demean you.
- I need you to listen.
Category A countries will be overpaying to cover the discounts for category J states.
So we need to be more specific about category A.
It's gonna be important.
- I was told that I demeaned you.
- You didn't.
- I was told I did.
- By whom? - Someone named Celia.
- She was mistaken.
- You sure? - If I felt demeaned I'd be among the first to know it.
- Terrific.
- Here are my notes.
- I'll rewrite them.
- You'll stick around? - What else would I do on a Friday night? I don't like to pry.
America doesn't have a monopoly on what's right.
Even if we did, I think you'll have a tough time convincing the Arab world.
Well, we'd like to talk to them about it.
- That ought to do the trick.
- It's worth a shot.
The U.
S.
Constitution defends religious pluralism.
It doesn't reduce all of Islam to fanaticism.
Neither does the speech.
It calls fanaticism, fanaticism.
It's fanaticism whether we call it that or not, so we're gonna call it that.
- We respect all religions, cultures.
- To a point.
Yes, to a point.
Grotesque oppression isn't okay just because it's been institutionalized.
If you ask me, we should've gotten into the game three, four decades ago but they're coming for us now.
So it's time to saddle up! - Toby.
- We do know what's right.
This is why they hate us.
There's a lot of reasons.
You know when they're gonna like us? When we win.
- C.
J.
- Please tell me what's happening.
Janet, we're working some back channels now.
Make yourself comfortable.
We might have some news in an hour.
The government will pay money? We can't buy them off directly.
We offer to withhold money from their enemies.
And if that doesn't work? Your husband is employed by a billion-dollar corporation.
Janet, Mrs.
Carlson would pay whatever.
- Ransom? - Yeah.
Let's not get that far right now.
Your clothes are wet.
- Can I get you something to wear? - No.
No, I'm fine.
Okay.
- I should stay here? - Yeah.
Insomnia is a pretty common symptom of depression.
- Are you depressed? - No.
I didn't think so.
Some people are predisposed to insomnia in times of acute stress.
Are you under any stress? Is there any stress in your job at all, or? But seriously, folks, has there been an unusual amount of stress lately? - Well, Congress was investigating me.
- Yeah.
And I was censured.
- I had to give the State of the Union.
- Yeah.
I'm running for re-election.
Things are blowing up everywhere.
And I've chosen the General Assembly of the U.
N to define a tougher foreign policy.
Not unusually stressful, no.
I don't like the word"stress.
" It's a Madison Avenue word.
It's something that can be cured with flavored coffee and bath bubbles.
So you don't feel stress.
I have a job I like, and my family's healthy.
Doesn't mean you're not entitled to feel stress.
Stress is for other people.
- What other people? - I'm saying it's not stress.
I was feeling stress five nights ago too, and I slept fine.
- So, what happened four nights ago? - I want my money back.
This is a very unusual conversation.
- I get that a lot.
- I'd imagine.
- So, what do you charge? - $375 an hour.
For $375 an hour, you ought to bring your own damn lingerie.
I do.
There's a great story about Arthur Miller.
Death of a Salesman had just opened the night before.
He was walking around his old neighborhood in Brooklyn.
He sees a hot-dog vendor that he went to high school with, and he says: "Hey, Jimmy, it's me, Arthur Miller.
" The hot-dog vendor says, "How you doing? What you been up to?" And Miller says,"I'm You know, I'm a playwright.
" The hot-dog vendor says, "Playwriting, I should've gone into that.
" $375 an hour.
- Yes, sir.
- For what? I don't really know.
I can't sleep.
I can't sleep.
I'll be tired, and I'll lie there.
And it doesn't happen.
What happened four nights ago? I won the lowa caucus.
- Anything else? - That's not enough? Mr.
President, if you were any other patient Say what you'd say to any other patient.
I'd say screw around if you want but it's your money.
It's about to be my money and I sleep fine.
I had a conversation with one of my aides after we got back from lowa.
He called me on something.
What? Well, I guess we talked about a lot of things.
Who we think the Republican challenger is gonna be and incumbency and campaign strategy.
Strategic overview, but the long and short of it is my father never liked me at all.
Well, at least we're closer to my area now.
Yeah, I thought you'd enjoy that.
- Charlie? - Yeah.
- Are you in pain? - No.
- Charlie? - Yes? - Have you been playing basketball? - Yes.
- Did you get beat? - No.
- Charlie.
Who'd you play? - Doesn't matter.
- Ed? - No.
- Larry? - No.
- Jack? - No.
- Did you get beat by Manny? - No.
- Who? - Deanna.
- Your sister? - Yes.
Your little sister.
- She plays varsity, Sam.
- Girls' varsity.
- She played a finesse game.
- Man, you can't walk.
Yeah.
I don't know what's happening to my life.
I can tell you're down, but let's talk about me.
If your sister was getting ready for a night out, and I said: "You're enough to make a good dog break his leash" would you think I was a cad? - I'd think hick.
- Because of the sentiment or expression? - My sister? - I'd beat you.
- You and how many Girl Scouts? - If I could stand up - If it wasn't your sister.
- Then you're fine.
- I'm fine.
You're not.
This isn't quite right.
It needs to be clear that the total assessment is down to 25 percent for category A.
- We've been in this fight.
- But if we pay before - Hang on.
Here she is.
Celia, I asked Ainsley, and she said she didn't mind at all.
- Plus, Charlie said he's fine with it.
- He's a man.
- Damn right.
- Sam.
We won't take a bath when other countries can afford to take on more.
This is important.
- It's important that I'm not a sexist.
- And that I'm all man.
You're Celia? He's not a sexist.
If you're willing to let sexuality diminish your power.
- I'm sorry? - I'm surprised you'd let it diminish your power.
- I don't know what that means.
- I think you do.
- You think I'm made out of candy glass.
If somebody offends you, tell them.
But all women don't have to think alike.
I didn't say they did.
And when someone offended me, I did say so.
I like it when the guys tease me.
It's a show of respect I'm on the team.
I don't mind it when it gets sexual.
And you know what? I like sex.
I don't think whatever sexuality I may have diminishes my power.
I think it enhances it.
- What kind of feminism do you call that? - My kind.
It's called lipstick feminism.
- I call it stiletto feminism.
- Stilettos? - Not in enough trouble already? - I am.
Isn't the point that Sam wouldn't have found a way to be chummy with a woman who wasn't appealing? He'd be able to, but that isn't the point.
The point is that sexual revolution tends to get in the way of actual revolution.
Nonsense issues distract attention away from real ones.
Pay equity, child care, honest-to-God sexual harassment and in this case, a speech in front of the U.
N.
General Assembly.
So you, 25 percent on the assessments for category A.
You, I don't know what your thing is.
And you stop trying to take the fun out of my day.
With that, I'm going to get a cupcake.
For the moment, I'll do what she's telling me to do.
- We're at OEOB.
- Okay.
How you doing? There.
It's not the best in the world, but it's hot.
I'm sorry, I didn't ask you your name before.
Donna.
- Really? - Yeah.
Our daughter is Donna.
- How old is she? - She's 7 months.
And her brother Harry is 3.
Three and a quarter, he'd want me to say that.
Do you know how it works with the money? - I don't.
I'm an assistant here.
- Bill's written He's written negative things about the president - No.
- He and C.
J .
Nobody cares about that tonight.
Okay.
And you wanna know a secret about C.
J.
? But you can't tell your husband this, really.
She battles with them every day, but loves reporters.
She's very protective of them, and it doesn't matter whether You know.
-It took -Wait.
It took three days to get the language through NSC and the NSA.
- It isn't coming out of the speech.
- I didn't think so.
- Why are we here for an hour? - Members have drafted an insert.
Will you look at it? Sure.
This would follow your paragraph.
"Our goal is neither to preach nor proclaim American values.
We respect our Islamic brothers and sisters.
We have a great deal to learn from the values of tolerance and faith that are deeply held throughout the Islamic world.
" You're saying any resemblance the previous paragraph may have had to foreign policy is purely coincidental? - That's right.
- Guess what? - What? - Our goal is to proclaim American values.
The speech isn't supposed to be about ideology but about reality.
The president will decide what the speech is about but the reality is the U.
S.
A.
no longer sucks up to reactionaries and our staunch allies will know what we mean.
We don't have staunch allies in the Arab world, just reluctant ones.
We have a coalition held together with duct tape.
A coalition without which we cannot fight.
Nobody's blowing off the coalition.
It'll be strong.
- When we win? - That's right.
What's Egypt gonna think? Or Pakistan? Freedom and democracy are coming soon to a theater near them.
So get dressed.
Toby you guys are on a thing right now, and I'm behind you.
You know I'm behind you.
A lot of House Democrats are - Not enough.
- And plenty of Republicans but this one moment in time, you have to get off your horse and .
Simply put, be nice to the Arab world.
- Be nice? - Yes.
Well how about when we, instead of blowing Iraq back to the 7th century for harboring terrorists and trying to develop nuclear weapons we just imposed economic sanctions, and were reviled by the Arab world for not giving them a global charge card and a free-trade treaty? How about when we pushed Israel to give up land for peace? How about when we sent American soldiers to protect Saudi Arabia and the Arab world told us we were desecrating their Holy Land we'll ignore the fact that we were invited? How about in the State of the Union? The president praised Islamic people as faithful and hardworking to be denounced in the Arab press as knowing nothing about Islam.
- None of that is the point.
- What is? I don't remember explaining to Italians our problem wasn't with them but with Mussolini.
Why does the U.
S.
have to take every Arab country out for an ice-cream cone? They'll like us when we win! Thousands of Madrases teaching children nothing, nothing, nothing but the Koran and to hate America.
Who do we see about that? Do I wanna preach America? Judeo-Christianity? No.
If their religion forbids them from playing the trumpet, so be it.
But I want those kids to look at a globe.
Be exposed to social sciences, history some literature.
They'll like us when we win.
Okay.
Let me take another look at the softer language.
- How's she doing? - She was asking how the money works.
It's not money.
Actually, it's a promise to honor international sanctions against the export of something called "coltan" by the Rwandan army.
- What's coltan? - A mineral they have in the Congo.
Refined, it's a necessary component of cell phones and pagers.
And the Rwandans and Ugandans smuggle it illegally.
- Listen.
- What do you know? Akin Wamba, who's the Mai Mai rebel commander sent word through a crew that was filming in Goma.
- Oh, God.
- Yeah.
He was killed in an ambush.
Embassy Kinshasa's gonna get the body.
It can't be easy being you.
- I told you - I don't mean the job.
I meant you know, being inside your head.
What's wrong with my head? - I don't know.
- Of course not.
That would be $385 an hour.
They keep moving the goal posts on you, don't they? Get A's, good college, Latin honors get into the London School of Economics get a good teaching job, lvy League school, tenure.
Now you got to publish.
Now you gotta go to Stockholm.
It's not good for a person to keep setting goals? It probably is, but it's tricky for somebody who's still trying to get his father to stop hitting him.
Well, I'm told that most men lead lives of quiet desperation.
Yeah, but that's most men.
That's not you.
That's the other people, the ones who feel stress.
- You're destined for something else.
- I have abilities.
And now you have an opportunity to use them.
I think I have.
That room I passed down the hall on the left, it's got a name, right? I think you're talking about the Lincoln Bedroom.
This is a hell of a curve you get graded on now.
Lincoln freed the slaves and won the Civil War.
"Thank you.
Next.
And what will you be singing for us today, Mr.
Bartlet?" "Well, we've had six straight quarters of economic growth.
" That's not easy.
- Okay.
- It's not easy.
- I believe you.
- I think I've made tough choices.
I think Lincoln did what he thought was right even though it meant losing half the country.
I think you don't do what you think is right if it means losing Michigan's electoral votes.
You don't know anything.
I'll be the first to admit that.
I'm not trying to get my father to like me.
Good, because it's never, never gonna happen.
- Look - We're done for the night.
- What? - We've been here for two hours.
It was a double session.
We're done for the night.
Stanley, I hate to put it this way, but I'm me and you're you and we're done when I say we're done.
No.
I think you could use some assistance right now, sir.
Use me, don't use me, but all I can offer you is this: I'll be the only person in the world other than your family who doesn't care that you're the president.
Our time is up.
President? - Your father used to hit you, sir? - Yeah.
- Not like a spanking? - He hit me.
Why? - He punched you.
- It was a complicated relationship.
- Because you were smarter than he was.
- You have stepped way over the line.
- Stanley.
- Josh.
- Your flight was all right? - It was fine.
- How are you? - Me? I'm fine.
- These are your things? - Yeah.
I'll put them in my office.
- Should I go with you? - I'll be right back.
They'll be all right back there.
- Where to? - Ever seen the White House? Just the little I saw when we talked last year.
Follow me.
This is the communications bullpen where Toby Ziegler and Sam Seaborn work.
The rest of the speechwriting staff works across the alley in the Old Executive Office Building.
And here comes the actual Sam Seaborn.
What's going on? Leo's reading it.
We'll send it out in 10, 15 minutes.
So Toby's been banging around.
- What are you doing? - Banging around.
This is Dr.
Keyworth.
- Sam Seaborn.
- Nice to meet you.
- Did you have a good flight? - Yes.
- Anybody you know on the plane? - No.
- Okay.
I'll see you.
- Yeah.
That's Leo's office.
It has a private entrance to the Oval Office, but we'll go in here.
Driver asked me the same question.
- What? - Did I know anybody on the plane.
He wanted to know if you talked to anybody.
- I didn't.
- I know.
This is the Oval Office.
That's the Resolute Desk.
It was built from timbers of the HMS Resolute and given to Hayes by Queen Victoria to thank the U.
S.
for finding the abandoned ship.
We're gonna go to the residence, but I'll take you through the Portico.
Josh? Wouldn't you like to sit someplace and talk? - Yeah.
- Why the tour? - You don't think this is interesting? - It's fascinating If somebody sees us, I'd like them to see me giving you a tour.
Who built the White House? It was designed by an Irish architect named James Hoban who won the job in an open competition.
And it was built largely by slaves.
They found the pay receipts a few years ago.
The slaves were paid? Their owners.
Right through here.
Buchanan was visited by Edward, Prince of Wales.
And he decided there wasn't room for guests.
But it took another 40 years to move all the office space out of the residence.
You're really seeing something, Stanley.
Tours don't go to the second floor of the mansion.
- You're sure it's okay? - Yeah.
We're gonna go in here now.
This is the president's private study.
- His private study? - Yeah.
Okay.
Should we close the door? No, that's all right.
So tell me how you've been feeling.
Good.
- Stanley.
- Hey, Leo.
- You getting a tour of the place? - Yeah.
You show him the North Portico? Leo likes to show people the soot stains.
From when the British torched the place.
- They haven't repainted? - Not that.
When Dolley Madison heard the cannon fire, she evacuated the building but she already had the table set for a 40-person dinner.
So the British soldiers ate and then set the building on fire.
- So the food didn't go to waste.
- That's right.
- How was your flight? - It was fine.
Did you know anyone on the plane? You didn't bring me here to talk to Josh, did you? - No.
- Who did you bring me here to talk to? Dr.
Keyworth did you know anyone on the plane? No.
No, sir, I didn't know anyone on the plane.
We'll leave you alone.
- The speech is going out? - In a few minutes.
- I'm Jed Bartlet.
- Stanley Keyworth.
- I guess we knew that.
- Yes, sir.
- I've been having trouble sleeping.
- I'm sorry? You understand that this is an election year, right? I mean, by itself, who cares? President has trouble sleeping, talks to a doctor.
But with the MS and the hearings, and you're a psychiatrist .
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- I'm not an expert in sleep disorders.
- Yeah.
- I'm a trauma specialist.
- Yeah, we know you.
You helped Josh out last year.
Josh was shot.
Me too.
- Is that why you can't sleep? - How would I know? - That's a fair point.
- Thank you.
Well, Mr.
President tell me the nature of your sleeping problem.
- I can't sleep.
- What happens when you try to sleep? - I stay awake.
- How long has it been? Four nights.
- You haven't slept in four nights? - Right.
- It must be hard.
- Yeah.
- Have you tried taking a sleeping pill? - The third night.
- It didn't work? - Not till the next morning in the middle of a national security briefing.
Well, that's no good.
Stanley, I think you're underselling yourself when you say you're not an expert in sleep disorders because you've been right straight on the money so far.
- How many of those you smoke a day? - Not many.
Nicotine will keep you up at night.
- Never has before.
- It could be now.
You think if I put this out I'm gonna fall asleep? - No.
- Then let's move on.
All right.
Let's rule out some things.
Physical factors.
- Do you have arthritis? - No.
- Heartburn? - No.
Irregular breathing or periodic muscle contractions? - No.
- All right.
Lifestyle factors.
I'm sorry.
Before we get to lifestyle factors, I'm just gonna turn this on.
It's a closed-circuit thing.
I'm at the U.
N.
on Monday.
Leaving Andrews at 8 for the 9:30 address to the General Assembly.
- When do we see copies? - When we're done writing it.
- When do we see copies? - Sunday night.
- Has the State Department reviewed it? - We'll be getting the reviews.
Also House and Senate Foreign Relations.
- And we see it Sunday night? - Sunday night.
That's it, everybody.
That's a full lid.
Thank you, C.
J.
C.
J.
- What are you doing here? - I'm missing a reporter.
- Who? - Bill Price.
- Isn't Billy in the Congo? - Yeah.
Come back here.
He files stories to New York at a predetermined time.
Missed two deadlines in a row.
- Does he miss deadlines? - No.
- What does State say? - I'm having trouble finding people.
- The other end? - I've talked to the embassy.
But this is the Congo.
- What do you think? - I think he left the capital.
- Without written permission? - How would he know? - By reading State background notes.
- Does that sound like Billy? - No.
- C.
J.
, the first 15 minutes are critical in a war zone abduction.
- If he can be delivered to a higher-up - I'll talk to Leo.
I know Billy's been a pain in the ass, but he's got a wife and two kids.
So if you could forget about I don't care that he's been .
Look, if he's missed two deadlines, then his 15 minutes was yesterday.
- I know.
- I'd call his wife.
Yeah.
- Toby.
The pacing.
- Yeah.
Okay, now the standing-still is bothering me a little bit.
This is the fifth time you're reading it.
Are there words you don't understand? There wouldn't be, because you can't rise to a position like yours without .
Look, this is exactly what we said we wanted it to be.
We said we were tired of reading about his scattershot foreign policy.
We said,"You wanna fillet me for this, fine.
" - We said,"When we go to the U.
N .
" - I think it's great.
- Yeah? - I do.
Your wife's gonna have something to say about it.
My ex-wife.
Why do you call her my wife? - It bothers you.
- Everything does.
- But you pick that? - Yeah.
Toby, the night of the lowa caucus, when you got back did you and the president have a conversation that night? Yeah.
l When he got back, for a minute.
- What did you talk about? - Nothing.
- He seemed kind of upset about it.
- It didn't go well.
- What was it? - It was personal.
- It was personal? - Yeah.
Well, that always works well with him.
What has he said about the speech? He thinks it's great.
He hasn't said anything to you? We haven't talked in a little while.
- Toby, what the hell went on in there? - Don't worry about it.
Okay.
I'm gonna read this again.
- Sure.
Because it's that sixth time.
- Yeah.
- Did you read it? - It's great.
Someone's gonna get an ass-kicking from the missus.
It's what we asked for, you know.
- We're gonna have to get ready for it.
- Yeah.
- Something else has come up, though.
- What? Leonard Wallace just came to me.
Billy Price is in the Congo, and he's missed two deadlines.
He hasn't gotten anywhere.
Kinshasa confirmed that a Belgian TV crew shooting outside Goma saw an American captured by Mai Mai rebels.
Hasn't State had a travel advisory out for, like, 10 years? Twenty-four.
What is he doing there? Reporting a story no one is paying attention to.
- Let's talk to the Congolese attaché.
- He's on his way.
Okay.
- He liked it.
- Yeah? Mostly what I wrote.
Not so much what you wrote.
So how long you think before the old lady comes by to give you a whupping? - Her office called already, didn't they? - You bet, baby.
You probably wanna rethink calling me"baby.
" Yeah.
Whoa, Nelly.
Hello.
You could make a good dog break his leash.
I was at a social function.
Americans for the Preservation of Family Values and White People? - The Federalist Society.
- A hootenanny.
- I was paged.
I was told to come in.
- Yes.
Thirty-two fifty is a consolidated appropriations act that we wanna drop in the U.
N.
speech for Monday.
I need you to review the legislative language so we can shop it around the Hill.
- What does it call for? - I don't know.
- Sam.
- It authorizes payment of 926 million in U.
N.
dues in exchange for a reduction in U.
N.
bureaucracy as well as peacekeeping assessments.
- What are we concerned about? - The language is drafted by Republicans.
- We're inscrutable.
- Look for legal land mines.
- Like what? - A ban on German food or amendment saying the French are annoying.
How about we drop out of the U.
N.
entirely and use the 926 million to take everybody in the country out to brunch? - Write that suggestion in the margin.
- I'll be in my office.
I didn't even see that thing from the back.
Well, that takes care of lifestyle factors.
What about environmental factors? - Like what? - Too much light in the room.
No.
- Extremes in room temperature.
- No.
- Noise.
- Noise? Planes flying overhead, that kind of thing.
Planes aren't allowed to fly over the White House.
- You haven't slept in four nights.
- Right.
- How much sleep do you usually get? - Four or five hours.
Well, we've been through physical factors lifestyle factors and environmental factors.
- That leaves us with - Psychological factors.
Yes, sir.
What were the odds? Right.
- So you got a few minutes? - Just a few minutes.
What's going on? We're at the U.
N.
on Monday giving a new foreign-policy speech that's gonna stir some things up.
But the thing is, it was a relatively small circle of people who were consulted on the speech, and that circle got wider tonight.
So it'll be a weekend of bartering.
And Josh is usually one of the point men on that so - You need to get back to the office.
- I have a few minutes.
- How have you been? - Great.
- You guys survived? - Dot-coms didn't run out of steam.
- They didn't? - It's just hype.
- I see.
- Do you? No.
- It's easier to start up now.
- Why? There's less pressure to be a success overnight.
Which brings us to this.
"Capitalscoop.
Com.
" It'll track legislation, profile people in power, spotlight special interest.
- Gossip.
- Not gossip.
Hard substance.
Public policy.
That's why we need all the help we can get.
I doubt I can get Josh involved.
It'd be a conflict.
No, I don't want Josh.
I want you.
- I'm sorry? - I want you.
I don't know where I'd find the time It's Friday at 11.
I'm basically on a lunch break right now.
You don't understand.
I'm talking about full-time.
Issues director for Capitalscoop.
Com.
Well, l I'm surprised, and I'm flattered.
But I'm, you know, not at all qualified.
That's not true.
You've been Josh Lyman's traffic cop.
That's like an M.
A.
in power-brokering.
You know the Hill.
You know every corner of the White House.
You know every pressure point - Is this your operating budget? - It's your starting salary.
- Ginger? - She's not here.
- Is Bonnie here? - They went to get something to eat.
- Have we met? - No.
- I'm Celia Walton.
- Sam Seaborn.
- You were sent over for the week.
- Yeah.
- We appreciate your helping out.
- I go where I'm told.
- Do you mind if I say something to you? - No.
The way you talked to that woman before.
- What woman? - I don't know her name.
The dog on a leash.
That was Ainsley Hayes.
She's an associate counsel.
Yeah.
It was rude.
It was inappropriate, and it was offensive.
- What did I do? - You demeaned her.
No, we're friends.
It's a completely mature .
You know.
- Also, she started it.
- Whatever.
Well .
Okay.
I wasn't demeaning her.
I was complimenting her.
A White House counsel, and you're complimenting her on her sexuality? - She looked good in the dress, I thought.
- Okay.
- Where is he? - Congresswoman.
- Where is he, Sam? - Toby? - Yes.
- I do not know.
- Liar.
- Here to talk about the speech? I and the House International Relations Committee, yes.
Your fingerprints are all over this too.
You and Toby wanna be responsible for starting World War III? - Well, you're gonna.
- I was having a good night.
- Where is he? - I don't know.
- You said that already.
- You asked me again.
I still didn't know.
May I wait in his office? Better his than mine.
- What were we talking about? - I'm a temporary hand here for a week but I don't think it's a joke.
Ginger and Bonnie are getting something to eat.
Yeah.
I need these distributed.
Andy's in your office.
- You let her in my office? - Yeah.
What the hell did you let her in my office for? Okay.
Well, I'm gonna step out for a minute and not be in this area anymore.
How could you do this without consulting people? Come on in.
We consulted plenty of people.
You think Sam and I create foreign policy? I don't know.
You, Sam, Abbott, Costello! We brought in for three weeks.
You bring in anybody from State? Who? Secretary of State.
How can you come here? I'm third on the damn committee.
- It's a presidential address, not a camel.
- A what? A camel! A horse built by committee.
"Freedom must run deeper than the free flow of capital.
Freedom must mean more than the free trade of goods and services.
- The world" - I read it.
"The world will be free when we have freedom of speech for every nation.
" In fact, I wrote it.
"when there is freedom to worship.
The world will be free when we finally shake off the rusted chains of tyranny whether in the guise of fascist dictatorship or ethnic hostility" - A little nervous? - Wait for it.
"The crushing yoke of Islamic fanaticism.
" Gentlemen, start your engines.
Billy's wife is already here.
She's in my office now.
- Is she very upset? - She's .
- Send them in.
- She's with Leonard.
Come in.
Everybody, this is McKennen Loboko, the Congolese attaché.
- McKonnen.
- I'm sorry.
Mr.
Loboko, you know our situation? We've got a reporter who we believe was taken by the Mai Mais.
He shouldn't have traveled without documentation.
The Mai Mais care about documentation, do they? - I beg your pardon.
- He wouldn't have been abducted? We haven't been introduced.
C.
J.
Cregg, White House press secretary.
He sat in my room for a year, his wife's in my office his kids are at home, and I want him back.
You think I have him in my briefcase? This is a shakedown, so tell us how much money and where does it go.
The Congolese government doesn't negotiate with murderers.
The Congolese government is a myth.
I can't talk to this woman.
Mr.
Loboko, how much money and where does it go? - Where have you been? - I told you I was going out.
- For an hour? - Well, yeah.
There's an editorial on sugar subsidies in the International Herald Tribune.
Make sure that Leo gets a copy.
Also, make sure you send me home with a congressional face book.
- Why? - I'm still mixing up Cooper and Hooper.
- Why? - Cooper sounds a lot like Hooper.
- What does it matter? - I got offered a job tonight.
What do you mean? - You know Casey Reed? - No.
- We went to college together.
- That's where you were? - Yeah.
- At a job interview? It wasn't a job interview.
We were meeting for a drink.
- What's the job? - He has an Internet start-up.
- What kind of site? - Commentary.
He asked me to be issues director.
- Issues director? - Yeah.
- For an Internet start-up.
- Dot-coms aren't dying, just the hype.
- Really? - Yeah.
Sounds like the hype's alive and well too.
I suppose.
- You suppose? - Yeah.
You can't take a job that may not be around a year from now.
This job may not be around a year from now.
- He offered you money? - Yeah.
- Well, all I can offer you is a title bump.
- Like what? Senior assistant to the deputy chief of staff for strategic planning.
- That's my title now.
- Then I can't offer you a title bump.
The sugar subsidy editorial and the face book, okay? Cooper and Hooper.
What do you need? There's a thing in this we need to be careful of.
What? They'll approve a new scale of peacekeeping assessments if there's a cost-sharing mechanism, but it isn't fully addressed here.
I should rewrite some of this language before the president goes to the U.
N.
- What? - Let me ask you something.
When I said that you were enough to make a good dog break his leash you understand that men, we're the dog, right? I was the dog.
- I understood the metaphor.
- Okay.
The peacekeeping assessment is based on per capita income with category J countries paying at a 90 percent discount.
- I meant it to make you feel good.
- It did.
- I certainly meant it.
- I appreciate it.
- I didn't mean to demean you.
- I need you to listen.
Category A countries will be overpaying to cover the discounts for category J states.
So we need to be more specific about category A.
It's gonna be important.
- I was told that I demeaned you.
- You didn't.
- I was told I did.
- By whom? - Someone named Celia.
- She was mistaken.
- You sure? - If I felt demeaned I'd be among the first to know it.
- Terrific.
- Here are my notes.
- I'll rewrite them.
- You'll stick around? - What else would I do on a Friday night? I don't like to pry.
America doesn't have a monopoly on what's right.
Even if we did, I think you'll have a tough time convincing the Arab world.
Well, we'd like to talk to them about it.
- That ought to do the trick.
- It's worth a shot.
The U.
S.
Constitution defends religious pluralism.
It doesn't reduce all of Islam to fanaticism.
Neither does the speech.
It calls fanaticism, fanaticism.
It's fanaticism whether we call it that or not, so we're gonna call it that.
- We respect all religions, cultures.
- To a point.
Yes, to a point.
Grotesque oppression isn't okay just because it's been institutionalized.
If you ask me, we should've gotten into the game three, four decades ago but they're coming for us now.
So it's time to saddle up! - Toby.
- We do know what's right.
This is why they hate us.
There's a lot of reasons.
You know when they're gonna like us? When we win.
- C.
J.
- Please tell me what's happening.
Janet, we're working some back channels now.
Make yourself comfortable.
We might have some news in an hour.
The government will pay money? We can't buy them off directly.
We offer to withhold money from their enemies.
And if that doesn't work? Your husband is employed by a billion-dollar corporation.
Janet, Mrs.
Carlson would pay whatever.
- Ransom? - Yeah.
Let's not get that far right now.
Your clothes are wet.
- Can I get you something to wear? - No.
No, I'm fine.
Okay.
- I should stay here? - Yeah.
Insomnia is a pretty common symptom of depression.
- Are you depressed? - No.
I didn't think so.
Some people are predisposed to insomnia in times of acute stress.
Are you under any stress? Is there any stress in your job at all, or? But seriously, folks, has there been an unusual amount of stress lately? - Well, Congress was investigating me.
- Yeah.
And I was censured.
- I had to give the State of the Union.
- Yeah.
I'm running for re-election.
Things are blowing up everywhere.
And I've chosen the General Assembly of the U.
N to define a tougher foreign policy.
Not unusually stressful, no.
I don't like the word"stress.
" It's a Madison Avenue word.
It's something that can be cured with flavored coffee and bath bubbles.
So you don't feel stress.
I have a job I like, and my family's healthy.
Doesn't mean you're not entitled to feel stress.
Stress is for other people.
- What other people? - I'm saying it's not stress.
I was feeling stress five nights ago too, and I slept fine.
- So, what happened four nights ago? - I want my money back.
This is a very unusual conversation.
- I get that a lot.
- I'd imagine.
- So, what do you charge? - $375 an hour.
For $375 an hour, you ought to bring your own damn lingerie.
I do.
There's a great story about Arthur Miller.
Death of a Salesman had just opened the night before.
He was walking around his old neighborhood in Brooklyn.
He sees a hot-dog vendor that he went to high school with, and he says: "Hey, Jimmy, it's me, Arthur Miller.
" The hot-dog vendor says, "How you doing? What you been up to?" And Miller says,"I'm You know, I'm a playwright.
" The hot-dog vendor says, "Playwriting, I should've gone into that.
" $375 an hour.
- Yes, sir.
- For what? I don't really know.
I can't sleep.
I can't sleep.
I'll be tired, and I'll lie there.
And it doesn't happen.
What happened four nights ago? I won the lowa caucus.
- Anything else? - That's not enough? Mr.
President, if you were any other patient Say what you'd say to any other patient.
I'd say screw around if you want but it's your money.
It's about to be my money and I sleep fine.
I had a conversation with one of my aides after we got back from lowa.
He called me on something.
What? Well, I guess we talked about a lot of things.
Who we think the Republican challenger is gonna be and incumbency and campaign strategy.
Strategic overview, but the long and short of it is my father never liked me at all.
Well, at least we're closer to my area now.
Yeah, I thought you'd enjoy that.
- Charlie? - Yeah.
- Are you in pain? - No.
- Charlie? - Yes? - Have you been playing basketball? - Yes.
- Did you get beat? - No.
- Charlie.
Who'd you play? - Doesn't matter.
- Ed? - No.
- Larry? - No.
- Jack? - No.
- Did you get beat by Manny? - No.
- Who? - Deanna.
- Your sister? - Yes.
Your little sister.
- She plays varsity, Sam.
- Girls' varsity.
- She played a finesse game.
- Man, you can't walk.
Yeah.
I don't know what's happening to my life.
I can tell you're down, but let's talk about me.
If your sister was getting ready for a night out, and I said: "You're enough to make a good dog break his leash" would you think I was a cad? - I'd think hick.
- Because of the sentiment or expression? - My sister? - I'd beat you.
- You and how many Girl Scouts? - If I could stand up - If it wasn't your sister.
- Then you're fine.
- I'm fine.
You're not.
This isn't quite right.
It needs to be clear that the total assessment is down to 25 percent for category A.
- We've been in this fight.
- But if we pay before - Hang on.
Here she is.
Celia, I asked Ainsley, and she said she didn't mind at all.
- Plus, Charlie said he's fine with it.
- He's a man.
- Damn right.
- Sam.
We won't take a bath when other countries can afford to take on more.
This is important.
- It's important that I'm not a sexist.
- And that I'm all man.
You're Celia? He's not a sexist.
If you're willing to let sexuality diminish your power.
- I'm sorry? - I'm surprised you'd let it diminish your power.
- I don't know what that means.
- I think you do.
- You think I'm made out of candy glass.
If somebody offends you, tell them.
But all women don't have to think alike.
I didn't say they did.
And when someone offended me, I did say so.
I like it when the guys tease me.
It's a show of respect I'm on the team.
I don't mind it when it gets sexual.
And you know what? I like sex.
I don't think whatever sexuality I may have diminishes my power.
I think it enhances it.
- What kind of feminism do you call that? - My kind.
It's called lipstick feminism.
- I call it stiletto feminism.
- Stilettos? - Not in enough trouble already? - I am.
Isn't the point that Sam wouldn't have found a way to be chummy with a woman who wasn't appealing? He'd be able to, but that isn't the point.
The point is that sexual revolution tends to get in the way of actual revolution.
Nonsense issues distract attention away from real ones.
Pay equity, child care, honest-to-God sexual harassment and in this case, a speech in front of the U.
N.
General Assembly.
So you, 25 percent on the assessments for category A.
You, I don't know what your thing is.
And you stop trying to take the fun out of my day.
With that, I'm going to get a cupcake.
For the moment, I'll do what she's telling me to do.
- We're at OEOB.
- Okay.
How you doing? There.
It's not the best in the world, but it's hot.
I'm sorry, I didn't ask you your name before.
Donna.
- Really? - Yeah.
Our daughter is Donna.
- How old is she? - She's 7 months.
And her brother Harry is 3.
Three and a quarter, he'd want me to say that.
Do you know how it works with the money? - I don't.
I'm an assistant here.
- Bill's written He's written negative things about the president - No.
- He and C.
J .
Nobody cares about that tonight.
Okay.
And you wanna know a secret about C.
J.
? But you can't tell your husband this, really.
She battles with them every day, but loves reporters.
She's very protective of them, and it doesn't matter whether You know.
-It took -Wait.
It took three days to get the language through NSC and the NSA.
- It isn't coming out of the speech.
- I didn't think so.
- Why are we here for an hour? - Members have drafted an insert.
Will you look at it? Sure.
This would follow your paragraph.
"Our goal is neither to preach nor proclaim American values.
We respect our Islamic brothers and sisters.
We have a great deal to learn from the values of tolerance and faith that are deeply held throughout the Islamic world.
" You're saying any resemblance the previous paragraph may have had to foreign policy is purely coincidental? - That's right.
- Guess what? - What? - Our goal is to proclaim American values.
The speech isn't supposed to be about ideology but about reality.
The president will decide what the speech is about but the reality is the U.
S.
A.
no longer sucks up to reactionaries and our staunch allies will know what we mean.
We don't have staunch allies in the Arab world, just reluctant ones.
We have a coalition held together with duct tape.
A coalition without which we cannot fight.
Nobody's blowing off the coalition.
It'll be strong.
- When we win? - That's right.
What's Egypt gonna think? Or Pakistan? Freedom and democracy are coming soon to a theater near them.
So get dressed.
Toby you guys are on a thing right now, and I'm behind you.
You know I'm behind you.
A lot of House Democrats are - Not enough.
- And plenty of Republicans but this one moment in time, you have to get off your horse and .
Simply put, be nice to the Arab world.
- Be nice? - Yes.
Well how about when we, instead of blowing Iraq back to the 7th century for harboring terrorists and trying to develop nuclear weapons we just imposed economic sanctions, and were reviled by the Arab world for not giving them a global charge card and a free-trade treaty? How about when we pushed Israel to give up land for peace? How about when we sent American soldiers to protect Saudi Arabia and the Arab world told us we were desecrating their Holy Land we'll ignore the fact that we were invited? How about in the State of the Union? The president praised Islamic people as faithful and hardworking to be denounced in the Arab press as knowing nothing about Islam.
- None of that is the point.
- What is? I don't remember explaining to Italians our problem wasn't with them but with Mussolini.
Why does the U.
S.
have to take every Arab country out for an ice-cream cone? They'll like us when we win! Thousands of Madrases teaching children nothing, nothing, nothing but the Koran and to hate America.
Who do we see about that? Do I wanna preach America? Judeo-Christianity? No.
If their religion forbids them from playing the trumpet, so be it.
But I want those kids to look at a globe.
Be exposed to social sciences, history some literature.
They'll like us when we win.
Okay.
Let me take another look at the softer language.
- How's she doing? - She was asking how the money works.
It's not money.
Actually, it's a promise to honor international sanctions against the export of something called "coltan" by the Rwandan army.
- What's coltan? - A mineral they have in the Congo.
Refined, it's a necessary component of cell phones and pagers.
And the Rwandans and Ugandans smuggle it illegally.
- Listen.
- What do you know? Akin Wamba, who's the Mai Mai rebel commander sent word through a crew that was filming in Goma.
- Oh, God.
- Yeah.
He was killed in an ambush.
Embassy Kinshasa's gonna get the body.
It can't be easy being you.
- I told you - I don't mean the job.
I meant you know, being inside your head.
What's wrong with my head? - I don't know.
- Of course not.
That would be $385 an hour.
They keep moving the goal posts on you, don't they? Get A's, good college, Latin honors get into the London School of Economics get a good teaching job, lvy League school, tenure.
Now you got to publish.
Now you gotta go to Stockholm.
It's not good for a person to keep setting goals? It probably is, but it's tricky for somebody who's still trying to get his father to stop hitting him.
Well, I'm told that most men lead lives of quiet desperation.
Yeah, but that's most men.
That's not you.
That's the other people, the ones who feel stress.
- You're destined for something else.
- I have abilities.
And now you have an opportunity to use them.
I think I have.
That room I passed down the hall on the left, it's got a name, right? I think you're talking about the Lincoln Bedroom.
This is a hell of a curve you get graded on now.
Lincoln freed the slaves and won the Civil War.
"Thank you.
Next.
And what will you be singing for us today, Mr.
Bartlet?" "Well, we've had six straight quarters of economic growth.
" That's not easy.
- Okay.
- It's not easy.
- I believe you.
- I think I've made tough choices.
I think Lincoln did what he thought was right even though it meant losing half the country.
I think you don't do what you think is right if it means losing Michigan's electoral votes.
You don't know anything.
I'll be the first to admit that.
I'm not trying to get my father to like me.
Good, because it's never, never gonna happen.
- Look - We're done for the night.
- What? - We've been here for two hours.
It was a double session.
We're done for the night.
Stanley, I hate to put it this way, but I'm me and you're you and we're done when I say we're done.
No.
I think you could use some assistance right now, sir.
Use me, don't use me, but all I can offer you is this: I'll be the only person in the world other than your family who doesn't care that you're the president.
Our time is up.