Wonder Woman (1976) s03e13 Episode Script

Going, Going, Gone

We have a pickup to make.
Take her down.
When they fished him out of the ocean he was babbling about being chased by a flying saucer.
First time the Russians ever used that excuse for violating U.
S.
airspace.
How is he doing? Still babbling.
"Traumatized" is the word the doctors used.
He's listed as satisfactory.
What kind of security have you got? Twenty-four hour surveillance.
All visitors, all calls carefully screened.
- Hospital's cooperating nicely.
- Good.
So far nothing unusual.
Still no word from the Soviets? Are you kidding? When one of their jets takes a nosedive off Catalina Island it's gonna be a while before they come out with an official statement.
Have all arrangements for your stay in Long Beach been made? Yes.
Thanks very much.
There is one thing you can do for me.
I'm expecting a call from one of our agents on assignment in Los Angeles.
If you could leave a message at my hotel for her to call me here I'd appreciate it.
- "Her"? What's the name? - Prince.
Diana Prince.
Hi.
Diana told me to tell you she had to leave.
It was something about your manners.
This really hasn't developed into a very good day, has it? And your friend's pictures didn't turn out too well.
You're about to tell me everything you know.
Major Gorovkin? Steve? I got your message and came right over.
Good.
Any luck with the stolen laser equipment? I was tailing a man who I'm sure was on his way to wherever it was hidden.
But unfortunately I was diverted by some thug who hardly knew his name let alone anything about stolen laser equipment.
He's your close encounter victim? He's your new assignment.
We unscrambled his radio conversation with a Russian base just before he went down.
He said he was jettisoning cargo.
Then he bailed out.
- Cargo? - He was carrying something.
Hopefully, we'll find out what that is when we recover the plane.
We're not gonna find anything more about the babbling brook.
I beg your pardon.
Yuri Gorovkin is an experienced and well-respected pilot.
He's obviously in a state of shock.
Or perhaps he's well respected for his acting ability.
You must be Colonel Trevor.
I'm Vladimir Zukov, Soviet military attaché.
I'm Diana Prince.
I'm with the IADC, also.
I wish to make clear that I'm just as anxious as both of you to clear up this terrible mistake.
- That's what- - Colonel? Phone call for you, sir.
Excuse me, Diana.
I'll be at a desk right outside.
That's what it is.
A mistake.
Of course it is a mistake.
Maj.
Gorovkin had no instructions to violate the air territory of the United States.
Would you tell me if he did? I, like you, have a job to do.
And if we were honest with each other both of our jobs would be a little easier, wouldn't they? Maj.
Gorovkin inadvertently strayed over American territory to avoid collision with a UFO.
Your own military said so itself.
They also said that he referred to a cargo.
What was he carrying? I have not been provided with such information.
Mr.
Zukov, I really don't care how embarrassed your government or my government is about what's happened here.
My main concern are the people that our governments represent.
Is there something that we should know about that cargo? Off the record.
I've told you everything I can, Miss Prince.
No doubt our respective investigations will keep us bumping heads for the next few days.
Since we'll be working together, in a sense perhaps, you would like to have dinner with me one evening? I don't think so.
I suppose your people keep the IADC pretty busy.
No.
Actually it's your people who keep the IADC pretty busy.
Good day.
Such an innocent-looking piece of metal.
It's hard to believe it carries such a high price tag, isn't it? All that glitters is not gold, indeed.
Wait a minute.
I'm getting a reading.
It's leaking.
Radiation level's 5.
2 in there.
Just three points below high risk.
There's no visible damage.
So there's really no reason to disappoint our guests, is there? Unfortunately, there's nothing to be done until that Russian pilot decides to do some talking.
My orders are to stay put until this incident is all cleared up.
Poor you.
Stuck in Southern California for the duration.
I'm afraid it's poor you, too.
Because your orders are to do all the legwork.
Until things break here I'd like to finish up a little legwork on my former assignment.
Going back to that warehouse? Yeah.
I got the feeling I was this far from figuring out what's behind those laser thefts.
You gonna need some backup? No, I've become pretty self-reliant these days.
All right.
- Just be careful.
- I will.
You'll be relieved to know that Mr.
Brown has arrived safely without incident.
Mr.
Brown, I believe you already know Mr.
Smith and Mr.
Jones.
Our last encounter left me holding an IOU signed by Mr.
Jones for 100,000 Turkish lira.
And it wasn't until Istanbul that you finally settled a 50,000 franc due bill with me, huh? Let's get down to business.
Mr.
Brown's dramatic entrance has set us behind schedule.
As he usually does.
Nothing like a get-together between old friends.
Gentlemen.
The subject of today's bidding: one nuclear warhead recovered from a Russian plane en route to a certain Central American country.
Now the question is, which of you gentlemen and the parties you, today, represent will become its proud new owners.
The question is, Como, is it worth the extraordinary price you've placed on it? Have you ever heard my merchandise being inferior? No.
Nor would we want your reputation to be ruined.
That's why we intend to do some checking.
Excuse me.
Be my guests.
There's no question.
This came from the Rostrov plant.
It's the real thing.
With this warhead serving as a prototype my backer should become competitors in the arms race within a year.
Which is why my backers have no intention of allowing you to purchase it.
I detect a note of over-confidence in your voice, Mr.
Brown.
Perhaps you and our hosts have already made a deal? I come prepared.
I have seen the cash down payment each of you brought with you.
And I'm satisfied you are all prepared.
Of course, the true test lies ahead.
The bidding.
Gentlemen.
Don't you know what a locked door means, lady? - No trespassing.
- You got it.
I guess there's only one thing for me to do.
- What's that? - Leave.
- How? - Well Like this.
It's all right, Wonder Woman.
I've got this one.
- Are you all right? - Yes.
I expected Miss Prince to be in here.
Diana had a feeling that she'd be in over her head, so she sent me.
She didn't tell me she was working with Wonder Woman.
Our alliance is strictly an informal one.
- What have you found? - I was hoping you could tell me.
- That's Russian, isn't it? - Yes, it's It appears to be a map of some kind.
A flight plan, I believe filed in Vladivostock.
Final destination appears to be somewhere in Central America.
I'm really indebted to you, Wonder Woman.
Let's just hope you won't be needing me again.
Here we go.
All I wanted was a grilled cheese sandwich.
Eat up.
You got a lot of work ahead of you.
What did you find out? For openers, Captain Louie whose name was on that strip of photos Apparently, he has a lot of underground connections.
This amusement park he runs is just a convenient cover for his smuggling operations.
You want some fries? - No, thanks.
Just the grilled cheese.
- Okay.
He ties in with the laser equipment that you've been trying to track down in more ways than one.
- Remember Sheldon Como? - Como, the government scientist.
He's the guy who developed most of the data and equipment the government's using in their holography experiments.
Didn't he defect or something? He disappeared five years ago.
But I think he just changed jobs.
He went from laser experimentation to black-market smuggling.
It's been rumored that he's made billions on illegal sales of one kind or another.
So we've got the black market, stolen laser equipment and missing cargo from a downed Russian plane.
The red ribbon that ties them all together could be what the field office just picked up off the grapevine.
You want a shake? The red ribbon, Steve.
Early this morning, an atomic weapon went up for bids on the black market.
Probably a nuclear warhead.
Anyway, it's now up for grabs by people representing various international interests.
And, according to the grapevine they're prepared to pay seven-digit down payments in U.
S.
currency.
Which means the bidding must be taking place right here.
À la Captain Louie, no doubt.
Steve, the only thing to do is to get in on that bidding.
I think I can get a ticket in.
- But I'll need a cover.
- Good.
Remember the gal who was running guns for the revolution in South America last July? Trouble is, she was just executed by guerrillas in the Andes, wasn't she? That was only a rumor.
It was never confirmed.
Diana, I think that's your best bet.
In the black market circles she was called Mrs.
Fox.
You and I will do the same double-agent crew routine that we did in Amsterdam last spring.
Only this time, we're gonna need more green stuff.
A lot more.
The field office is taking care of that little detail as we speak.
- Too bad about one thing, though.
- What's that? If both of us go undercover poor Mr.
Zukov is not gonna have anybody to tail.
Cold war is hell, isn't it? Don't forget, Steve.
- It'll get worse before it gets better.
- Right.
- Mrs.
Fox? - Yes.
My assistant tells me you want to talk to me.
It certainly cannot be to complain about our equipment.
The sights on this rifle are a little off which you may or may not know.
But as you can see, I've compensated.
Then you have nothing to complain about.
Except for the prizes.
You see, I had in mind something bigger.
Much bigger.
One that doesn't say "made in Taiwan" but "made in Russia.
" Such prizes can be very, very expensive.
As you've probably heard, I always come prepared, Captain Louie.
What I didn't hear is that you were interested in today's game.
It's others who are interested.
Me, I'm just a go-between.
Who, right now, would like to have her picture taken.
I've always wondered when I'd have the pleasure, Mrs.
Fox.
Next door to the arcade by the pinball machines.
It says "out of order," but what do they know? Thank you, Captain.
Mike, get Como on the phone.
Take it easy, lady.
We're just supposed to check you out.
You can do your checking from there.
Okay, okay.
You look fine.
Except for the piece.
- Better? - Lots.
- $9,600,000.
- $9,750,000.
This is insanity.
None of us intended to go this high.
I'm Sheldon Como, your host on this little shopping adventure.
- This is Mr.
Lucas.
- Mrs.
Fox.
It's an honor, Mrs.
Fox.
And, I might add, a pleasure.
- Where are the others? - First things first.
There is the matter of a small down payment should yours prove to be the highest bid.
The money is in Long Beach.
I wasn't about to bring it with me.
No offence.
None taken.
Where in Long Beach? The Old Nautical Shop.
A colleague of mine is there, waiting to hear from you.
Take someone with you.
Call me when you're sure all is well which, of course, includes I hope that's all he is, a colleague, not a friend or lover.
He means nothing to me.
But there is a password.
Tell him, "It'll get worse before it gets better.
" He'll play dumb until he hears that.
Then he'll play dumb forever.
- When do I meet my competition? - After I hear from Lucas.
Once we've dispensed with that formality, I'll introduce you.
Mr.
Jones is here, Mr.
Brown, and Mr.
Smith with whom, I believe, you've had some dealings.
Mr.
Smith? Mr.
Smith.
Of course.
Yes, I know him well.
$9,800,000.
$10,000,000.
$10,150,000.
$11,300,000.
Your backers are indeed determined to obtain that warhead.
The question is, how determined? Why prolong this? Why don't we all simply say how much we are able to spend? Is this your way of telling us you've reached your limit, Mr.
Smith? Can I help you, gentlemen? Maybe.
I hope you can be a little more specific.
I was just about ready to close.
It's been a hard day.
Lots of hassles.
You understand.
"It'll get worse before it gets better.
" I think I can help you.
Been wondering when you guys were gonna show up.
- Something in green, wasn't it? - Sounds about right.
Right this way.
I think you'll be pleased.
You're right.
We're pleased.
Lucas? I'm standing in front of what looks like $5 million worth of fun tickets.
So, the lady and her backers are legitimate.
Looks that way.
Count the money.
What of her emissary? Just about to close up shop.
Make sure you tidy up.
- And get back here with the money.
- Yes, sir.
Start counting.
Gentlemen, the waiting is over.
We can proceed.
May I introduce my latest guest? Mrs.
Fox.
Gentlemen.
What are you trying to pull, Como? As host, I can invite whomever I please to these little get-togethers.
- But this is not Mrs.
Fox.
- I beg your pardon? I knew I smelled a set-up.
This is a trick to drive the bidding up even higher.
Admit it, Como.
I see you haven't changed your act, Mr.
Smith.
Still trying to discredit your competitors.
He tried the same thing in Sydney.
Unsuccessfully, I might add.
I'm telling you that this is not Mrs.
Fox.
What he's saying does tie in with a rumor I heard concerning your health.
- Which is? - That you're dead.
Which might've been true, had one of my sympathizers not removed these from my back after I was left for dead.
Few people know that the guerilla armies of the Andes use homemade ammunition which, when fired from their own weapons make their bullets extremely identifiable.
They contain large amounts of silver which is partly the reason why I decided to make a bracelet out of them.
We should all carry reminders of the very real possibility of death, right, Mrs.
Fox? Right, Mr.
Como.
She's working with him.
Don't you understand this is a ploy to make us bid higher for that warhead? Please, Mr.
Smith.
If you're this afraid of competition, you should try another career.
Raising petunias, perhaps.
Don't you understand we're being tricked? And I, for one, refuse to be manipulated like this.
If you're giving us a choice between her company and yours I needn't tell you the outcome.
Gentlemen, we will resume the bidding as soon as Mrs.
Fox's deposit arrives.
You'll pay for this, Como.
When my countrymen hear what you've done to me I guarantee you will pay.
Mr.
Smith, shut up.
Let me show you what you'll be bidding on.
Five million on the nose.
A pleasure doing business with you.
Too bad there won't be a next time.
That's true.
Hold it.
If you'd be so kind.
You've heard the old expression, "Turnabout is fair play.
" You, you're going to deliver the money.
And you, you've just become an insurance policy.
"It gets worse before it gets better.
" That's right.
Too bad you're such a slow learner.
Get moving.
Kelly.
Madders.
What's this? It's your day for surprises, that's what it is.
Take him in the back room.
Call Edwards in the mobile unit.
If he has a feed, too we'd have no trouble triangulating the money's position.
All right.
Thanks.
According to what Edwards says and what we see he's making a beeline for the ocean.
Diana's at the pier.
Beach house? Boat? It's really rather pleasant-looking, isn't it? Considering the horror it contains just waiting to be unleashed.
You're obviously little concerned about that prospect.
This is my world now.
I honestly don't care what happens to yours.
One fine day it's going to blow itself to bits with or without my help.
Someone has arrived.
Must be Lucas with your down payment.
Now we can get on with the bidding.
It's not often one gets the chance to bid on such an item.
My backers are very anxious to get their hands on it.
Tell me, how did you come upon this warhead? It would be more correct to say the warhead came upon me.
It isn't Lucas after all.
Mrs.
Fox, may I introduce Vladimir Zukov? We have already met.
You IADC agents turn up in the most unexpected places.
What? Carl.
I don't know how you conned your way in here, Miss Prince.
But you are to be commended.
And you're to be commended, Mr.
Zukov.
Most double agents look lousy in business suits.
- She's with the government? - Most unfortunately for her, yes.
Kill her.
It's not that simple.
Lucas is on his way back.
There's a good chance the money he's carrying is bugged so her people can find us.
- Can't you stop him? - If I can't, we can outrun him.
Let's move out.
Full speed ahead.
Maximum depth.
Maybe next time you'll listen.
One more word, and whatever happens to her, happens to you.
- Yeah.
- Lucas, there has been a change of plan.
Get rid of the money and stay away from the dock.
Problem? Do as I say.
Get rid of the money and stand by for further word.
By the way, you might be followed.
So be careful.
Got it.
Diana is in trouble.
And that's the only clue we've got as to where she is.
That takes care of one problem.
Now, for the other.
Allow me.
Are you sure you want to do that in here? She's right.
Bullets have a rather annoying tendency to ricochet in submarines.
Therefore, my dear, if you'll step this way, please.
Just when we were getting to know each other.
I know you just about as well as I want to.
I could say the same thing about you except that I'm still curious.
How did you get the warhead? Illusion.
The research I undertook, compliments of our government went into perfecting the art of illusion.
Now I'm capitalizing on it.
Your research focused on holography.
So the flying saucer the pilot saw was really a hologram you created with lasers.
The illusion of imminent doom so frightened the man that he jettisoned his cargo right into my lap.
But this, I'm afraid, is no illusion.
Get in, Miss - Prince.
Diana Prince.
- Indeed.
- In there.
- Yes.
Goodbye, Diana Prince.
The water pressure outside will crush her instantly.
- Please, please.
Please wait.
- For what? For her to have us all imprisoned? Get rid of her.
- Care you do the honors? - Delighted.
There will be no further interruptions, I assure you.
- Why don't you resume your bidding? - With pleasure.
What's happening? Something's in the airlock.
Party's over, boys.
Use this.
Any more toys, Como? Good.
The Coast Guard must have a good idea where we are by now.
So we might as well all head back to Long Beach.
I don't believe it.
Captain Louie ought to be arrested for defrauding the public as well.
I've never seen rifle sights so misadjusted in my life.
What did the Soviets have to say about Mr.
Zukov? I doubt they knew he was working with Como any more than we did.
What they said about Mr.
Zukov was exactly what they said about the whole affair.
Nothing.
See what I mean about the sights? Probably all they're interested in is getting their warhead back.
They'll get it back eventually.
With a strong reprimand, I would imagine.
And a warning.
That canister was leaking radiation.
What happened to the people in the sub? They've all been checked out.
They're okay.
Not enough of a dose to hurt anyone.
What do you say we get some dinner? - Great.
Your car or mine? - Mine.
Pick you up in a minute.
All right.
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