Workin' Moms (2017) s03e13 Episode Script

1 Kate: Previously on "Workin' Moms" Don't worry, I'm taking a very straightforward approach.
You didn't buy one of those costumes in a bag, right? What kind of mother do you think I am? You've got yourself an extraordinary young woman, here.
If I didn't cover for you today, - you'd probably be in jail.
- Alice! Michael Bolinski.
Fuck me.
Kate Foster, I believe you're up.
Actually, Mike and I have decided to join forces.
Mike: Will that be a problem? Not if it's good.
(Alarm blares) Get back here, I'm not done with you! (Chuckling) I cannot miss this flight.
What are you talking about? Our flights aren't until noon.
I know, I switched to an earlier one.
I gotta get home for this Halloween thing at my kid's school.
I didn't know Halloween was now a mandatory event for parents.
It's not, but it is.
There's a whole competition element, I had to make a costume, it's a-God, it's a whole thing.
(Kate's phone buzzes) Holy shit, indeed.
What we get it? Oh, the job? No, this is uh something else.
You okay? Yeah, uh uh, Ella, my daughter, can sit on her own now.
Is she not supposed to be doing that? No, she is, she she's just kinda young, she's ahead of the curve.
Ah, so she takes after her mom.
I'm just I dunno.
I'm kinda bummed I missed it.
She's gonna keep sitting though, right? Yeah.
Huh, well you'll catch her when she's even better at it.
Like, I know for a fact that I'm better at sitting now - than I was a year ago.
- Is that right.
Oh yeah, I'm a professional.
Shut up.
- Get over here.
- No.
No, no, no.
I really have no, I gotta go.
- Seriously! - What are you doing? Bye! Wooaaa! You're safe for now! (Zipper rasps) Oh my God.
(Moans) (Moans) (Exhales) (Phone buzzes) - Nathan, hi.
- Kate, I just walked on in, and there she was, sitting.
Like she'd been doing it for months, or years.
It just goes, doesn't it? Doesn't matter how much we ignore 'em or fuck up.
I know what you mean.
I'm so sorry I fucked up, Kate.
No.
We don't have to go over this again.
(Ella coos) I'm sorry to all three of you guys, you deserve more.
Look, I haven't been, I'm I'm not perfect.
I don't know, I just feel like I'm realizing for the first time how much damage I've done.
Nathan, honestly I'm I'm over it, I guess, or at least I just don't wanna be angry about it anymore.
Wow, that's uh that's really big of you.
No, it's not, I just have uh, I dunno, I have some perspective now.
I miss you.
Come home to us, okay? I'm on my way.
I love you.
I love you, too.
- (Door clicks open) - Did you forget something? You always craft with hotel amenities? (Suitcase wheels rattle) I thought you looked familiar.
Victoria! You two really gave me a run for it, but I've known Tru Air a long time.
They're just more familiar with my work, that's all.
Oh no, uh tot congratulations.
Oh, you really do look different.
Do I? I think I'm in need of a new eye cream.
No, you look better.
Less guilty.
Oh, well uh, thanks.
You know, I tell you what though, you and Mike, now that's a team I'd keep my eye on.
Lionel: Aha! It's Halloween, and here is to this little clown, I think she's finally gonna understand - what this holiday is all about.
- Stupid Halloween.
It's just the school's way of getting us to stop and perform an elaborate fire drill of skill and patience.
Well, I like Halloween.
And you've gotta enjoy these little steps, because before you know it, they're teenagers, - and we're gonna hate 'em.
- Um No.
No-no-no, not you, Alice.
You're one of the good ones.
But I'm getting a real bad seed vibe from your sister, Jayme, over here.
I mean if, we're not careful, she could wind up just like Brenna.
Dad, stop.
Anyway, enough about Halloween.
Alice, your mother and I have been talking, and she'd like to tell you something.
Alice I you know, I haven't been great - Or even good.
- Lionel.
Alice, you have been very patient with me, and your father and I would like to reward you for being so responsible.
So, we are going to give you your phone back.
- Really? - Yes! Because we trust you.
And just think of all the fun gifs you can do today at your sister's special Halloween thing.
- (Anne chuckles) - You could do like a cowboy filter.
Is there a cowboy filter? No, and I can't come.
What? Why? It's science fair.
What? How did I forget about that? - Well, I told you about it.
- Of course you did! No, I-I know.
So, we'll see you at dinner, then? - Yep.
- Okay.
Go get science-y.
And enjoy that phone because you earned it.
Gotta be a cowboy filter.
I mean, you can only use the kitty cat filter so many times.
How long do I have to stay like this? You may remove your blindfold! Well, they're just my h Oh no.
That's way too scary.
I know, right? You can't send her like this! She's gonna give the other kids nightmares.
Oh, come on.
How is this scarier than any of the monsters in Sesame Street? There is literally a monster who lives in a trash can.
They're gonna send her home.
I'm gonna send you home! - Come on, she's gonna be fine.
- Hey.
She's gonna be tame compared to some of those other freaks - in her class.
- Boo boo.
Yeah.
Blood's a nice touch.
This used to be mine.
You make one little bunny ear, - and then another little bunny - (Knock on door) One sec, don't go anywhere.
Coming! Are you here to pick up the future winner of the St.
Celine's best costume contest? You know, you didn't have to dress up for this, right? Of course I do.
And so do you! - What's this? - (Door creaks shut) I got you an outfit.
We're going as us from prom.
Ugh, doesn't even matter what I wear.
Everyone hates me.
- That's not true! - It is.
I mean, no one at work likes me.
You know that.
And at school, I am just the mom who locked her kid in the car.
They're gonna analyze every move I make.
Listen, if there's anything that I learned about going to all those mommy and me's, it was that nobody cares about what anybody else is doing.
They're just all too preoccupied with themselves.
But maybe you know, (Small chuckle) uh you could try being a little nicer to people Wait, are you saying it's my fault? No, you're uh, you're you're intimidating, Jenny.
I mean, look at you.
I uh With great beauty comes great responsibility.
And yeah, maybe you could just, be a little nicer to people.
I get it.
Thanks.
(Indistinct chatter) Ladies and gentlemen, - mommies and daddies, welcome.
- Hey buddy.
It's my great pleasure to introduce St.
Celine's pre-K class.
What a proud day it is for me to be hosting our first Halloween costume contest.
- We're gonna get start - Kate: Sorry! Sorry! Oh, cute, cute, cute.
I got Charlie's costume, here.
(Headmaster clears throat) There we go.
There we go.
Sit.
Sit down, Mrs.
Foster.
Just have a seat.
- There you go.
I'm gonna go.
- Headmaster: Anyway, before the contest, the children God I'm so comfortable.
I look like P.
Diddy.
Ian, ew, gross.
Diddy? He goes by Love now.
(Pumpkin song starts) That can't be right.
Jesus Christ.
I'm sorry about his costume.
It worked.
(Chuckles) Psst, so you get your two-off? What? You know, you check your fuck off your bucket list? Oh yeah, Mike.
Yeah, it turned out it's more of like a two-on than two-off.
Like a I think I may have like, opened up a whole can of worms.
Like, I wanted to steal some milk, and here I am thinkin' about buying the cow, you know? Never understand your analogies.
(Children crying) Anyone shout for pumpkin time I get so scared I want to scream Once a year at Halloween Hey, what are you lookin' at? Oh, my handyman.
They lost their tech, and I asked if he'd help out.
Whoa.
This is love a-knockin'.
Oh Frankie, I don't know.
You gotta grab it, man.
By the tendrils.
Headmaster: Big finish! But first I have to trick or treat Headmaster: Let's hear it for the pre-K class! (Applause) Now we'll move on to the costume contest, and I, of course, will be judging the competition.
Surprise, surprise.
She's really been milking it.
I'd say.
She's about three sentences from climaxing.
I'd duck! St.
Celine's winner of the Halloween Costume Contest is Shh, shh, this is us! It's Zoe.
Whatever, just act surprised.
Rhoda Coyne-Bois! (Cheering and applause) (Cheering and applause) And now, the most out-of-this world costume goes to Wait is, is everybody getting an award? Fuck me! Tyler and Thomas! (Cheering and applause) What? Pyjamas? God, phoning it in.
And next, the student who understands the meaning of making a statement, - Zoe Matthews.
- Ah! - (Squeals) Woo! - That's my girl.
For her interpretation of Malala.
Wait she's Red Riding Hood.
What? Just go with it! And now, for the silliest-willy award, Jayme Carlson! (Cheering and applause) What, is that me? (Cheering and applause) Yay, Jayme! Charlie Foster? Charlie Foster, there is one here for you, too.
The best homemade costume! Best homemade costume? That's great, right? (Applause) (Music cuts, weird sounds, mic feedback) Headmaster: What is happening? (Moaning, grunting) (Music scratches) (All laugh) - Kate: Hey.
- Hey, if it isn't the mom of the most homemade costume.
Oh, I'm sorry, it doesn't have the same ring as silliest-willy award.
Dude, at least we didn't bring the kid awarded most likely to haunt my fucking dreams! Hey, Rhoda won, fair and square.
Ian: Ladies.
- Jenny, go! - Ian! Ugh.
Hi guys.
- Hey.
- Hey, what's up, Jenny? How you been? How's work? Great, actually.
I got promoted, and I'm really digging the new responsibility.
- Nice.
- H-how's Ian? He actually works for me, now.
He's a business boy.
- A business - Boy? Pretty sure that's not a thing.
- Uh-uh.
- It is.
Anyway, uh I would love to catch up sometime if you guys wanna have a playdate? That's really nice.
Thanks, Jenny.
- Sure, yeah.
- That'd be great.
See? I'm nice.
Great uh, so I'll see you around.
Bye, Jen.
Okay, I gotta go.
I promised my kid ice cream.
Hmm.
- And by kid, I mean Lionel.
- (Laughs) - Bye! - Bye, girl.
- See ya.
- Bye! - Hey.
- Kate, what can I do for you? I just I wanted to thank you.
In fact, I got you something.
It's a massage.
Oh.
Oh, well this is very generous, especially since you and all the other parents, they already got me a gift card? We did? We did.
Yep, we got you a Halloween gift.
Of course we did.
But honestly, a massage sounds better than dinner theater.
How am I supposed to focus on my food? (Chuckles) Oh.
- Come here.
- Oh! What's happening? I just thought you might need a hug.
You know, even though I didn't win a prize today, I still think I deserve an ice cream.
Hmm.
Because I'm the silliest willy in this family.
I mean, Jayme? Pfft! She's not even that silly.
- Mhmm.
- Dr.
Carlson! Sandy? Hi! There's someone I want you to meet! (Chuckles) Uh, this is my partner, Fatima.
(Gasp) You have a girlfriend? A woman friend.
I'm really happy for you, guys.
You've done such wonderful things for him.
Uh, I'm right here, Fatima.
Oh.
(Chuckles) Okay uh, we're gonna go.
Take care, lovebirds! Seems like a happy customer.
Yeah well, antidepressants, turns out they work! (Chuckles) Yeah.
(Low hum of chatter) Mango! Daddy's not allowed at the counter because Daddy abuses the three-sample rule.
- Brenna: They got watermelon.
- Hey, Brenna! Do your parents know that you're skipping out on the science fair right now? Our school science fair isn't until February.
Alice did the volcano last year? It sucked.
Seriously? She walks all over you guys.
- Hey, watch your mouth! - I'm sorry.
But I'm glad we're not allowed to hang out anymore.
'Cause she was starting to do things I dunno.
What are you even talking about? You know, you should check out her finsta sometime, and you'll learn a lot.
- What is-what is that? - Finsta.
- English, please! - A fake account so your parents can't see what you're doing.
What? Well, how is she even posting this? - I had her phone! - You know, I really shouldn't be showing you this.
Shh! Yeah, she just posted that one.
Oh God! I'm sorry.
- (Lionel coughs) - Sorry.
Hey, I'm sorry I blew it with Charlie's Halloween costume.
I know it was a big deal, and you're probably disappointed.
You do not have to apologize.
The only criteria was not to make a lasagna.
(Kate chuckles) And you nailed that.
I'm sorry I put so much pressure on you.
No, I get it.
Like you didn't want me to look like an ass clown in front of the other moms.
I know I'm not exactly Betty Draper.
- Whew, thank God for that.
- Yeah? Yeah! 'Cause it's not too late to pull the rip-cord on this thing, you know, find yourself an easy, breezy homemaker, who returns Tupperware after it's lent to her.
I don't want that.
I mean, maybe I did, I dunno.
Not anymore.
I just want you.
Really? Really.
Okay, then let's do this.
No more secrets.
No more secrets.
Deal.
(Chuckles) Now let's go eat a bucket of chicken.
(Chuckle) Alice: (Laughs) And then I added baking soda - and the whole thing erupted.
- (Laughs) Did the teachers go nuts? I bet they went nuts.
Who doesn't love a volcano? Most people from Pompei.
Anne, please, your daughter just won the science fair.
How are you not more excited about this? You won the science fair? Well, not won, I guess, but I placed third.
Where's the medal? - I left it in my locker.
- Who won first? - Jerry Coleman.
- And second? Candice Vashir.
- (Dishes clatter) - How's that for company? Woo! I am so proud of you, sweetie.
My little girl.
Or should I say, my little teenager.
- Thanks, Daddy.
- (Chuckles) (Sighs) Uh, I think I'll get a quarter chicken.
- Hmm.
- Wait, they have wings.
- This changes everything.
- (Chuckles) What's my big boy want? You want some chicken fings? Ooh, chick fings, maybe all around, huh? (Kate's phone buzzes) I-I have to make a call.
Oh go ahead, it'll give me a chance to get a hold of myself.
They have chicken and waffles! There goes my entire plan.
(Phone rings) (Door slams shut) (Phone buzzes) - Hello? - We got Tru Air? Hell yeah, we did.
(Chuckles) It's ours! I tried calling you earlier.
- Wait, but Victoria - Went nuts? Yeah, they told her like an hour ago.
- She flipped out on them.
- Wow.
Yeah, job's ours.
Contingent on us working together, of course.
But I told them that wasn't gonna be a problem.
Are you okay? Yeah, I guess I'm just shocked.
- I mean, last night was - Yeah.
Yeah, listen about that, I've got a proposition for you.
Kate, what do you want? I don't wanna pick for ya.
Just uh, just gimme a sec! I'm on my way to Cabo right now, - and I want you to come meet me.
- Wait, what? You mean for work? Well, I mean, I guess we could get some work done.
(Chuckles) I was thinking it would be more for us.
Take advantage of the perks of the job.
Oh my God.
Come meet me, Kate.
Kate, what about a family pack? It comes with a Bundt cake.
Kinda fun, right? Too much? No Bundt cake? Okay, I-I'll figure it out.
Hello? Kate, you there? Yeah, no I am.
I am.
What, do you not want this, too? I just I don't know that I can give you what you need.
Listen, I don't need to be taken care of.
I'm good.
But I do think that we would be good together.
And I'd like to see you happy.
I can definitely do better than your current situation.
Are you pitching me right now? Yeah, you gonna tell me it's not a good pitch? No.
So what's it gonna be? Nathan: Kate, what's it gonna be? Come on! Oh, I uh, I, I don't know.
Kate, come meet me.
I'll get you anything you want! What do you wanna do? Chick fings? A little pain Is good for you What's it gonna be? I want um A girl's gotta do, gotta do What a girl's gotta do