Young Rock (2021) s03e13 Episode Script

Dwayne had presented his final
trade offer to the prime minister,
and we were awaiting her decision,
like two baby birds
waiting for their mother
to regurgitate a coffee
deal into their mouths.
Randall,
- you're making me nervous. Come on.
- Yeah.
This coffee is amazing.
I heard it was good, but damn.
Fingers crossed she ends up
biting on your trade deal,
because I haven't even had time
to look at the files that Taft gave me.
I forgot my glasses.
- Good morning, Dwayne.
- Morning, Bibi.
Mm-hmm.
So
what do we do if your plan doesn't work?
Well, whatever she
chooses, I'll live with it.
I stepped into the arena,
and I gave it everything I had.
I wish I had your level of zen.
Honestly, Randall,
this situation is nothing
compared to some of the
other things I've been through.
Like back in 2000, when I hosted
"Saturday Night Live"
for the first time.
Doing comedy on live TV
in front of millions of people
Bah! Bah! Bah!
- Bah!
- Now that will test your zen.
Post-show, I was excited to hear
what Vince and the boys thought.
They had joined me for a
gag during my monologue,
and then they watched the
rest of the show backstage.
They finally smell what
The Rock is cooking.
- I improv'd that.
- Improv'd?
Look at Big Head with the lingo.
Oh, uh, are the grapes for everyone?
Yeah, go for it, Mick.
It was all great, Dwayne.
Millions of non-wrestling
fans just watched
an hour and a half long
advertisement for the WWF.
- What could be better?
- I know. And that's amazing.
I just meant, was I any good?
Isn't that what I just said?
Neediness is so unattractive.
What they mean to say
is, we love you very much,
and we think you're handsome.
Thank you, man.
- Come on, dude. You were great.
- Thanks, brother.
"SNL" was an amazing experience,
and I was still buzzing the next day.
And then after the show,
we all went to this bar,
and Paul Simon and
Paul Shaffer showed up.
So much talent in such small bodies.
Was Garfunkel there?
I didn't see Garfunkel, no.
I hope he's OK.
Hey, and I got Chris Kattan's number.
Oh, send him a message and
tell him we're big fans.
- Why don't you do it?
- Me?
- Yeah.
- I'll do it.
- Yeah.
- Okay, who is Chris Catman?
Oh, Mom, you know.
He's the one who does
all the characters.
You were so funny on the show, babe.
Oh, thank you.
It felt so good to be on that stage,
holding my own with
these comedy legends.
You know, I
I think I can really
do this acting thing.
Hey, I'm all in on you
doing a Mr. Peepers movie.
Uh, no. Those apples
were too tough on my teeth.
But something like that.
My phone's been going nuts
with people calling to congratulate me,
and not just from friends, either.
I've got, like, 25 voice
mails from random numbers.
Well, why don't you let me help you?
I'll listen to them and follow up.
- Really?
- I'm an amazing partner.
What can I say?
Plus, you have so much on your
plate with WrestleMania coming up.
Thanks, babe. How is this my life
Hosting "SNL," headlining WrestleMania?
Not to mention buying our first house.
- The offer got accepted?
- Mm-hmm. Closing in a couple days.
Oh, that's amazing.
Oh, honey?
Chris Kattan seems upset
that Mom didn't know who he was.
I thought he was the fat one.
Couple of weeks later, I got the house.
Oh, my gosh, honey!
You like it?
It's beautiful.
Sunken living room.
Kind of reminds me of our
old place back in Hawaii.
Yeah, I thought so too.
Oh, you did good, Dewey.
I'm glad you like it.
These are for you.
You want me to find a place
for you to hang your keys?
You need a hook by the front door.
No. It's yours.
- What's mine?
- He's giving you a set of keys, babe.
I'm giving you the set of keys.
Okay. Now I don't follow.
- I think he's doing comedy.
- No.
I'm giving you the keys
because this is your house.
You're joking.
No, I am not.
- You bought us a house?
- I promised you I would.
I don't know what to say.
Oh, what?
- There's more.
- There is not more.
Oh, that's nice.
You hired Bruno to be your valet.
No, Dad, he's parking your truck.
- My truck?
- The truck is yours too.
The house, the truck, all of it.
It's all yours.
Oh, Dewey.
Let me tell you,
that was a moment I'll never forget.
Oh, son, thank you!
Hey, Bruno,
how you getting home?
I always told my parents I'd
buy them their very first house,
and man, I was so happy to
make good on that promise.
I'm having a hard time
believing all this, son.
I'm gonna need to see some paperwork.
My whole life, you've been moving
from place to place,
doing everything you could
to provide for the family.
It's about time you had somewhere
where you can feel settled.
But Dewey, this is
Mom, this is a dream come true for me.
Everything I've gone through,
from getting injured at Miami,
getting cut from the CFL,
almost getting run out of the WWF,
what kept me going
was the promise of buying you a house.
When I make it to the NFL,
we're never gonna have to
worry about money again.
The first thing I'm gonna do
when I get drafted to the NFL
is buy you a house.
That TV's just the beginning.
In a couple years, it's gonna be
a three-bedroom ranch house in that box.
You know, I actually remember
the first time I heard you mention that.
It almost broke my heart.
I deposited that money three days ago.
I don't understand why
it's not in our account yet.
- I'm sure you're fine.
- You're sure it's fine?
Well, come and
have a look in my refrigerator,
and you tell me it's fine.
I need that money for groceries.
Can you just hold on for
one second, please? I'll be right back.
Okay. Hi, is this the bank?
I'm sorry. Who's this?
I'm her son. I need to be quick.
- She's just answering the door.
- Young man, are you in trouble?
Say "Chesapeake" if you
can't talk right now.
I'm fine.
Listen, I would like to get a loan.
I want to buy my mom a house.
Oh, I see.
I'll pay you back as soon as I can.
I just want it to be a surprise,
so please don't tell her.
Okay, gotta go. Bye.
Don't forget.
This is why you get into banking.
I didn't know you heard that.
And never for a second did I ever think
it wasn't gonna happen.
My belt! My tag team belt!
Babe, he's got Peter's
belt and my tag team belt.
Come on, Mom.
You gotta see the rest of the house.
There's some nice surprises.
What are these sparkling purses
that look like animals and fruit?
Judith Leibers?
You got Judith Leiber purses?
You got Judith Leiber purses.
Ooh. Rocky, don't touch those!
Oh, come to Mama, my pretties.
We've come a long way, haven't we?
You mean from when Dewey used to rock
that turtleneck and fanny pack?
I think she was talking about
the time you dyed your hair blonde.
- Oh.
- Ah.
Well, it was platinum.
Your head looked like dirty snow.
- It was platinum.
- No, I'm talking about low points,
like when I got to
Tennessee and realized
Rocky hadn't found us anywhere to live.
You know what's funny?
My lowest point was
also in a car with Dad.
Y'all just gonna gang up on me now?
No, you actually helped me out, Pops.
It was after I got cut from the CFL
and you took me back to Tampa.
Only had 7 bucks to my name.
Nothing was worse than
the way we left Hawaii.
My grandmother was right.
Leaving Hawaii was our low point.
I don't understand.
How did we not make more of
a profit off that last show?
The Peter tribute was a packed house.
The arena and wrestlers
we booked were not cheap.
Well, the good news is,
the show was a success.
Plenty for us to build off of.
You'll remember that a year before,
my grandmother beat the FBI's
extortion case that was against her.
I love the jury.
I am a lady innocent, and they saw that.
Oh, and FBI, kill yourselves.
We'll find something on her,
and she'll go down.
And it appeared they
had found something.
- Mom, did you hear what I said?
- Hmm?
We gotta figure out
the next steps for our promotion.
We need to start turning a profit.
Lia?
Let's talk about this another time.
Never satisfied at being defeated,
the FBI did some digging around
and discovered that my
grandmother was an illegal U.S. citizen.
They were like a dog with a bone.
She'd beaten those extortion charges,
but she was less
confident this time around,
not that she'd ever let them know that.
My mom and dad had no idea what
my grandmother was dealing with,
so they kept their focus on making
the wrestling promotion profitable.
This is what we should be doing, Rocky,
an annual event.
How is WrestleMania an annual event?
They've only done it twice.
When you put Roman numerals
after something, you don't stop at two.
There's a psychology behind it.
Since what do you know
about psychology, Mom?
Honey, that's what being a mom is
Manipulating your family
with love.
We should make the Peter
Maivia tribute our annual thing.
I love it. And it's the type of
thing that'll get your mom excited.
I hope so.
She hasn't been liking anything
we've been pitching her recently.
Hi, Rocky.
Kit, hey.
Now is not the best time. We're having
a little creative meeting in here.
- Juices are flowing.
- I get it.
You know, I was in the room
when the Croissan'wich was invented.
Don't want to interrupt the flow.
Just want to bring to your attention
that the rent is a few weeks late.
Funny enough, that is exactly
what this meeting is about.
Oh. Oh, good.
'Cause it's been late a few times, so
The check is practically in the mail.
Oh, well, you don't have to mail it.
- I've got a slot in my door.
- You got it.
- Well, I just
- God bless.
With the family's financial
well-being on the line,
my parents went all
out for their big pitch.
It'll be like WrestleMania
but with a real reason behind it.
An annual tribute to the High Chief.
But my grandmother had
the FBI on her mind.
And then those champions
come together to fight
- for the ultimate champion.
- It's gonna be amazing, Mom.
We can get all the boys involved,
and they'd love to do that for Dad.
Mom?
What do you think?
I have a concern you should know about.
How did I get so lucky to
have such a brilliant family?
Oh, Dewey, go easy on the calamari, huh?
I'm trying to get some leg ones
before Grandma gets them all.
I love the idea.
And High Chief is never
shy about being celebrated.
Oh, I'm so glad.
I can make some calls to
the mainland, see who's around.
My grandmother didn't
have the heart to tell us
about her issues with the FBI.
She knew none of my parents'
plans would ever happen,
but she wanted us to have this night
to dream about what could be.
And man, we left on a high.
So I'll talk to the guys.
You get started working
on the story lines.
Lia could coordinate the venues
And I'll finish this leftover calamari.
Son, you gotta chill on the squid.
Wait, that's squid?
I'm gonna put on a pot
of coffee and get started.
What's this?
Oh, my God.
Rocky.
Eviction notice.
We had 24 hours to get our stuff and go.
Let me talk to the landlord.
Kit!
- Hey, Rocky.
- Kit, you said we can have an extension.
What's going on?
I said that so you
wouldn't be disappointed.
I'm terrible with confrontation.
So that's it? We're evicted?
Well, you see
yes.
No, I can't argue with that, Mom.
That eviction was our low point.
Maybe yours, but you only
got evicted from your house.
They evicted me from
the whole damn country.
A few years later,
I found a little loophole
and found out my
grandmother had actually been
a U.S. citizen all along.
Now, how that slipped by
the FBI and her own family
is a story for another time.
Getting evicted out of
our apartment in Hawaii
just sticks with me, man.
It might have been the lowest
moment I ever experienced as a kid.
Well, it's crazy how your family went
from being on top to hitting
rock bottom in basically a year.
That's why you never take
anything for granted, right?
Going through the lows
as a kid in Hawaii
made being able to share the highs
with my family so special.
Why don't we connect, then?
Okay.
- I'll let him know.
- Who was that?
I've been returning the
calls you got after "SNL,"
and you got some major talent
agencies trying to represent you.
- For wrestling?
- For acting.
Like, real Hollywood agents.
Whoa.
Uh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. We should do that.
I thought you said you wanted
to get more into acting, didn't you?
Yeah. No, I do.
It's just happening so fast.
How about we just focus on WrestleMania,
and then we can cross
those bridges afterward?
- Okay.
- Yeah?
- Yeah, let's do that.
- We should go.
- Yeah.
- We're already late for my parents'
housewarming party.
Oh, there you are.
Everyone's here already.
Oh, I'm sorry, Mom. Mwah.
It was Dany's fault.
Don't lie to your mother.
Hey, if you're gonna be my manager,
you gotta cover for me.
I wouldn't have believed it, anyway.
- Mwah.
- Hey, who do we have here?
I dig the new digs, brother, yeah.
- How you doing, Dany?
- Hi.
Now, did you get a fixed mortgage,
or did you get the adjustable rate type?
Oh, I forgot to tell you, Dewey.
Macho's gotten real boring lately.
Lovely house, bubba.
I find four bathrooms.
Ah, you missed one, Sheik.
Oh? Sheik will find fifth bathroom.
Hey, Dewey, congratulations
on "Saturday Night Live."
- You absolutely crushed it.
- Oh, thank you.
- That was good, brother.
- Thank you. Thank you, Bruno.
Well, I couldn't stay up that late.
Do you know I haven't been
able to shake this jet lag
since I got back from Toronto?
Wait, Toronto is in the
same time zone as this.
Mm.
Well, I guess I've just been tired.
So what's the story, Dewey? You
getting all Hollywood on us, or what?
No, I'm just gonna concentrate
on WrestleMania next
week, and that's it.
Smart guy.
See, that's why you're
Vince's golden boy.
Everyone who goes Hollywood
always comes crawling back.
That is why I turned down "Dynasty"
show with jabroni Joan Collins.
"Dynasty" didn't ask you to
be on the show, Sheik. Don't lie.
"Dynasty" wanted Sheik.
I have paper trail.
I'm looking for a bunch of
meatheads with zero style.
I didn't expect to see this guy.
Haven't heard from Rocky in 15 years,
and the second he gets a new home,
he won't stop calling.
I'm just making up for lost time.
Hey, Sheik,
you wanna give Hulk the tour?
No, Sheik does not want
to give Hulk a tour.
You find your own secret bathroom.
Oh, I'll find the
secret bathroom, brother.
No, you won't, you
Barbie bimbo beach doll.
Hey, stop running in the house!
How you doing, brother?
How you feeling after "SNL"?
- It was a rush, right?
- Unreal.
Is it true that you and I are the
only wrestlers to host the show?
Yes, sir
Pretty exclusive club.
Hey. What y'all doing in here?
Just got the Mount Rushmore
of wrestling in your kitchen.
I know, right?
Look at us.
Three kings.
We did it.
All right, I'll see y'all out there.
So what's next for The Rock?
I'm sure everyone wants a piece of you.
Hey, I'm trying to figure
it all out, you know?
Vince has a great plan for me this year,
and the fans and the ratings
have all been incredible.
But?
But
I'm definitely curious
about where this acting thing could go.
I just don't know if it makes sense
right now, you know what I mean?
In a lot of ways, I feel
like I'm at the mountaintop.
Why do more?
Who knows if I can even juggle both?
Been there, brother. Why keep climbing
if you're already at the summit?
Exactly.
Any time I feel like I've
reached my ceiling, I just think,
what if that ceiling is just
a floor to something else?
Back when I was at the top of WWF,
I decided to try and
push through that ceiling.
Maybe a little too far with
"Suburban Commando" and "Mr. Nanny" and,
whew, "No Holds Barred."
- But I crushed it in "Gremlins 2."
- Oh, yeah.
- But hey, that's just me.
- Well, I hear you, Hulk.
But honestly
I'd be happy if everything
stayed just like this.
I got news for you, brother.
Whether you pursue acting or not,
your life ain't staying like this.
- What?
- We don't work at State Farm, man.
Nothing stays the same
for long in this business.
We're all just one match
away from an injury,
one match away from the fans
falling in love with the new guy.
Ten years ago, you think I
ever thought I'd be a heel
with jet-black beard hair?
Hell no.
So you're saying I
should test my ceiling?
Only you'll know the answer to that.
When the time comes, you'll know.
You know, "Mr. Nanny" wasn't that bad.
It was bad.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
Hogan's words rang true
Nothing stays the same,
and when that time is right,
seize the opportunity.
So Hogan's words gave
me a lot to think about.
Gentlemen.
So I've slept on it
Well, didn't actually sleep.
I had a coffee before bed,
hoping it would inspire me to an answer.
And eight hours of non-sleep later,
here we are.
My father is no longer with us,
but I found myself asking
him what it is I should do.
- And what did he say?
- Nothing. He's dead.
- He can't talk.
- Yeah, right.
But I do know what he would have said.
"Angela,
you already know what to do.
Just trust yourself to do it."
So, Mr. Johnson,
I agree to the terms of
your coffee trade deal.
As you said, it feels
like the right opportunity
at the right time for Gjelgjuighm.
- Thank you, Prime Minister.
- Of course.
Whoo-hoo!
Yes!
Now let's focus on what's important.
What were you saying about Hulk Hogan?
Hogan told me And it was
as true back then as it is today
That you need to test your
ceilings and see how far you can go.
I was certainly thinking about
that back in 2000 at WrestleMania
as I prepared to step into
the arena I knew so well.
Hey, boss, I don't mean
to interrupt your pre-game routine,
but Dany gave me strict
orders to give this to you.
- What is it?
- It's from "SNL."
They know I ate all the grapes.
We're ten minutes from going up.
How important could it be?
I don't know. Open it up and see.
God, it's killing me.
"Hey, babe. This came for you.
I think you should check it out."
"The Mummy Returns."
"The Mummy Returns"?
Where'd the mummy go?
Where's he returning from?
It looks like they want me
to play a role in this
The Scorpion King.
Badass.
Hulk was right.
In that moment, I just felt it.
I knew it was time to test that ceiling,
step into a new arena.
And seizing that opportunity would
take my career to a whole new level.
Haku machente!
Well, I want to hear
more about "The Mummy."
- I also want to hear more about "The Mummy."
- Ah.
Well, those are long stories.
I'll tell you what,
you come to the U.S.,
I'm gonna break open the tequila,
and I got a lot of "Mummy" stories.
- Hey.
- The tequila.
Tequila.
Well, that is a deal.
- It's a deal.
- Dwayne Johnson. Mm.
It really has been a pleasure
meeting your candy ass.
Well, the pleasure's
been all mine, jabroni.
Disrespectful. I can't go out like that.
The pleasure was all mine,
Prime Minister Jabroni.
- Yeah!
- Hey. Come on, now.
Yeah!
Yes.
- Yes.
- All right.
I'm gonna write the whole
article on the plane ride home.
I might be the first writer
to make the cover of "Vanity Fair."
Oh, Randall, no, buddy.
It's not gonna work like that.
Now that I gave Taft the win,
anything that happened between
me and the prime minister
can never go public.
- There is no story.
- But I took so many notes.
I know. I know. I'm sorry.
But it's in the best
interests of our country.
Plus, they're gonna be happy
to see you back on "Chatterbox."
No, I had a fourth
Bloody Mary last night
and left an ugly voice mail for Bibi.
A lot of things I can't take back.
I need to stop at a gift
shop on my way to the airport,
pick up a little something for Cheese.
- Bye, best friend.
- Bye.
She didn't get an
international data plan,
so she hasn't listened to it yet.
You know, you were right.
About?
Well, about that kid in the parking lot
who said America didn't need me.
Must be hard knowing
America doesn't need you.
- That bothered me.
- I know you 98%.
Yes, you do.
Being the man in the arena,
living through all these ups and downs,
it doesn't mean it doesn't
still sting when you lose.
And I just want to say thank you
for encouraging me to get back up.
It was my pleasure. Happy to.
You know, Randall,
this entire experience
has really got me
thinking that maybe politics
wasn't the wrong arena for me after all.
Maybe this is just
another false ceiling.
I think I could do it.
What, run for president again?
No.
Start my own country.
Think that's a good idea.