Austin and Ally s03e14 Episode Script

Great rehearsal, Austin.
Maybe I should do it again.
This show has gotta be perfect.
I'm streaming it live to all my international fans.
Relax.
You practiced each song like 100 times.
I'm even getting tired of hearing 'em.
And I wrote 'em.
Well, I don't care how many times I hear those songs.
They still give me goose bumps.
No, wait.
That's a mosquito bite.
Or is it a freckle? Oh, it's chocolate.
So, Trish, what did Jace think? Well, either he cheered so hard his face got stuck, or our my-taps froze.
Well, let me help.
Just go into settings, switch off the wi-fi, configure your VPN uh Hey, Trish! Or you could just do that.
You sounded killer, Austin.
Thanks, man.
I don't usually let people watch me practice.
Oh, I hear you.
The last time I let Trish watch me practice skating, I broke my arm in three places.
So, Jace, what's going on? We haven't talked all week.
Ah, sorry.
I've just been busy with work.
But, hey we just shared our first concert together.
Well, at least the part I saw.
Which was mostly Dez crying through "I think about you.
" Well, excuse me for having a heart.
Come on, Austin.
Let's go check out those lights I'm setting up for your concert.
Look, I know this whole long-distance thing is hard, but it's moments like these that make me realize just how You froze again, didn't you? Jace! Jace! Jace! Why can't I have a normal relationship where we watch movies, share milkshakes and give each other shoulder rubs? I'm sorry.
But, hey! I can give you a shoulder rub.
Where does it hurt? - Here? - Ow! Well, now it does.
Oh, I forgot to tell you guys my cousin Dwyane invited us over to his house tomorrow.
He's a huge Austin moon fan.
I don't know.
I really need the time to rehearse more.
Come on! He's been begging me forever to meet you.
He thinks I'm the coolest guy ever.
Can you blame him? Ow.
Ow.
We should go, Austin.
You need a break, and it could be fun.
Oh, yeah! Hanging out with a guy who thinks Dez is cool.
Sounds like a blast.
Okay, fine, we'll go for a little bit.
I do owe you for helping me set up these lights.
Ah, great! Hey, I want to make sure the spotlight hits you perfectly.
I'm not sure if you should stand here or here.
Yeah, I think I should stand way over there.
You know what we don't need spotlights.
Whoa! Your cousin's house is nice.
Cool, his doorbell plays "heartbeat"! That's a little weird.
I told you, he's a big fan.
Welcome.
I'm bogues, Dwyane's assistant.
Enter at your own risk.
Seriously, I just waxed the floors.
They're very slippery.
Whoa, this place is awesome.
Dwyane is in the great room.
Are you children into video games? Uh, does the average iceberg weigh 200,000 tons? It does.
Had to look it up for geology.
Dwyane, your guests have arrived.
Austin, it is great to finally meet you.
I'm a big fan.
Dwyane Wade?! Dwyane Wade's your cousin? Technically, he's my half-second- cousin-in-law, twice removed, but, yeah.
Don't you see the resemblance? Not really.
Well, I thought you knew.
Duh! Dez Wade.
They used to call me "d.
Wade" when I was a kid, but he stole it from me.
It's true.
I'm freaking! You're my favorite n.
B.
A.
Player.
I never miss a heat game.
Since when are you a basketball fan? I'm not, but I'm a Dwyane Wade fan.
He's so cute.
It's true.
I can't believe it.
Austin moon is actually at my house.
You have no idea what a huge fan I am.
Well, the shirt and the doorbell gave us a decent idea.
Say "pancake!" Pancake! It's really cool to chill with you.
I'm a really big fan too.
Listen, if you guys need anything, bogues will take care of you.
Oh, I'll definitely take care of them.
I'd fire that guy, but I'm scared of him.
Listen, make yourself at home.
Mi casa es su casa.
Oh, you're bilingual too? Yeah, I only know the "mi casa" thing.
Hey, you guys wanna play "disco explosion"? - Yeah! - "Disco explosion"? That's my favorite dance game.
Oh, man, I left my red disco boots at home.
Guess I'll just have to settle for my orange disco boots.
Let's pick our avatars.
I get to be Austin.
I didn't know they made an Austin moon avatar in this game.
Oh, they don't.
I made it.
Nothing weird about that.
You guys ready? You're going down.
Oh, it's on.
Oh, you're both going down.
Don't you think Dwyane seems more than just a big fan? It's like he's obsessed with Austin.
You're right Dwyane is cute.
That's not what I forget it.
There's something a little off here.
I'm gonna have a look around.
Well, while you're off solving the case of the paranoid songwriter, I'm gonna call Jace.
You really miss him, huh? No, I'm gonna brag that I'm at Dwyane Wade's house.
Trish, I'm so excited you called.
Guess where I'm but I gotta go.
Bye.
He just hung up on me.
I don't know what's going on with us.
This is insane.
I know.
We were cool like a week ago.
No, look at this book.
"Austin in wonderland"? Dwyane changed all these famous books to make them about Austin.
"Austinberry finn.
" "The austinback of notre dame"? I don't think it's insane.
It's creative.
You're just blinded by your crush.
I don't have a crush.
My heart belongs to what's-his-face.
Jace? Right, him.
Okay, let's go look around.
Whoo! I win again.
I still can't believe I'm playing video games with Austin moon.
I still can't believe we played 37 games without taking a bathroom break.
Mr.
d.
Wade, it's time for your phone interview.
I have a phone interview? No.
The famous d.
Wade.
Aw, man.
I gotta go.
Well, it was great hanging out, cuz.
I guess we'll just grab Ally and Trish and head out.
No no, you guys can't leave.
I got a whole night of fun planned.
Listen, while you wait on me, bogues can make your favorite snacks pancakes! Ah, we don't wanna impose.
I mean, as much as I do love pancakes With melted butter and sweet sweet syrup okay, we'll impose.
So, remind me again how you're related to Dwyane Wade.
My half-grandmother's second sister married Dwyane's half-brother's Uncle's third cousin.
It can't be any simpler.
Guys Dwyane has creepy Austin stuff everywhere.
Check out this trophy I found in the hallway.
It's for being the number-one Austin moon fan.
Huh, I didn't know they gave those out.
They don't.
He made it himself.
There's nothing creepy about that.
Here you are a stack of Austin moon pancakes.
Whoa! Is that my face on those? Okay, that's a little creepy.
Hey, look, I'm Austin.
Here is your fork.
I'll be right back with a knife.
So you can cut the pancakes.
Makes it easier to share.
Come on, I'm gonna show you how obsessed Dwyane is.
Look, Dwyane changed all these book titles, and put your name in them.
Really? Yeah, see? "Dr.
Jekyll and Mr.
Austin.
" "Austin and Juliet.
" Oh, a "can you find Austin?" Book! There he is.
There he is.
There - There he is.
- This is weird.
I mean, who would take the time to Whoa! He has a whole secret shrine to you, Austin.
Uh, look, there's photos and bobbleheads, even an Austin moon cuckoo clock.
I knew it! I told you he's obsessed.
- Huh.
- Okay, I believe you now.
Yeah.
This whole thing is a little Cuckoo, cuckoo.
Yeah, what he said.
We gotta get out of here.
It's cool Dwyane's such a big fan, but the longer we stay here The crazier it gets.
Dez, he's your cousin.
Why don't you just tell him we're tired of hanging out? 'Cause then he'll get upset and tell my mom.
Dwyane is a huge tattletale.
Let's just sneak out.
Oh.
I can't open the door.
It's jammed.
Where do you think you're going? We're, uh, headed home.
It's getting late.
Oh, I don't think so.
Nobody leaves casa d.
Wade Ever.
Follow my lead.
Hey, bogues.
Why don't we play a quick game of hide-and-seek, while we wait for Dwyane to get back? You're "it.
" Close your eyes and we'll all hide.
Aw, why does he get to be "it"? What? Ohh Wait, what? Bogues.
Count to 50, and we'll all go hide.
Okay.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen Okay, you guys hide behind the counter, and I'm gonna hide in the piano.
Is anyone gonna tell him we're not actually playing hide-and-seek? Not just yet.
Ow! Oh! Ow.
Okay, now we can tell him.
We only said we were playing hide-and-seek to get away from Dwyane.
Oh.
Well, that didn't work.
Hey, cuz! Hey, guys.
Hey, you left before I could show you my song.
- Your song? - Yeah.
I was hoping me and Austin could perform it at his next gig.
You see, I've always wanted to be a rock star.
I wanna be Austin moon.
Bam! Look, it's cool you wanna be me, Dwyane.
I mean, I wanna be you, but I'm not asking the heat to put me in the starting lineup next weekend.
Unless you could make that happen! Can you? Mmm Nope.
Uh, look, Dwyane, we appreciate your interest, but there's no way we can give you an answer until we discuss it first.
Guys? Look, there's no way he can perform with me.
This concert's too big.
I'm streaming it live around the world.
This is the only way to get rid of him.
Okay, first, not all of us wanna get rid of him.
And second, what are you talking about? Dwyane gets obsessed with things, but once he does them, he moves on.
Ah, when we were kids, he wanted to be a fireman, then he wanted to be an astronaut, then a chef, then a ballerina.
Man, he did not look good in a tutu.
So, if I sing his song and let him perform, he'll stop being obsessed with me? Yep.
Dwyane, you got yourself a deal.
Yes! Wait, shouldn't you at least hear the song before you commit to performing it in front of the whole world? How bad could it be? Did he really just rhyme "girl" with "girl" eight times? I think it was 12.
Let's just tell Dwyane the truth.
His song is terrible and there's no way Austin can sing it.
Why beat around the bush? Perfect.
So you're gonna tell him? Ho-ho, no.
I'll be hiding behind the bush.
I don't know what you guys are making such a big deal about.
Just sing the song and get it over with.
Yeah, it's not like you're streaming your show for all of your international fans and embarrassing yourself in front of the whole world.
That's exactly what I'm doing.
Well, if we can't tell him the truth and we can't sing the song, then what other choice do we have? I guess we can try and fix the song.
Why don't we invite Dwyane to an emergency songwriting session? Great idea! You can teach him how to be a better songwriter.
What up?! I have a better idea.
You know that new song we just finished? We'll trick Dwyane into thinking he wrote it.
I still think we can use Dwyane's song.
If you just change the word "girl" to "Trish" It's not so bad.
So, Dwyane, we love your song and can't wait for Austin to perform it.
We just have a few minor suggestions.
Less than minor.
More like mini suggestions.
Eee.
Cool.
I'm down.
All right, why don't you play us what you have now? And we'll stop you if we have any ideas for improvements.
Okay, we're gonna stop you.
So, it's a great start, but what if instead of playing all the way down there, you played a little more over here? No.
No.
No.
Um, just right here.
Perfect.
Okay, gonna stop you again.
What if instead of this we try this.
Whoa.
That's awesome.
Dwyane, you're a natural.
Look at what you just did.
I knew I had it in me.
Do you think my lyrics will work with this? Maybe they don't have to.
Excuse me.
So, when you wrote "girl, you are my girl," what were you trying to express? I think I was trying to say to a girl That's she's my girl.
Interesting.
See, when we first heard "girl," we thought it was a metaphor for a prize, as something you'd do anything to win.
Oh, yeah.
That too.
So, in that case, why don't we try this? Man! I'm a better songwriter than I thought.
It's amazing what a few minor changes can do.
Ally, I can't watch you pace anymore.
My neck is cramping.
I can't help it.
Austin moon fans all over the world are gonna be seeing this performance, and I don't know if Dwyane can pull it off.
You children have nothing to worry about.
I helped Dwyane with his choreography.
Great.
Now I'm not worried at all.
Hey, everybody.
I'd like to give a shout-out to my fans all around the world.
As a special treat, this first song is written by n.
B.
A.
Superstar, Dwyane Wade.
That was awesome.
You killed it out there.
Austin, you were okay too.
Yeah, you were great, Dwyane.
Thanks.
But you still owe me.
I know I didn't write that song.
You and Ally tricked me.
Oh, no, you're never gonna leave us alone now, are you? It's all good.
Because of you, I got to be a rock star.
Thanks, man.
You're welcome.
What up?! You know the Austin and Dez handshake? It's mine.
Dez stole it from me.
It's true.
What up?! See you at Thanksgiving, cuz? Don't be late.
He makes a mean broccoli casserole.
Where'd you get all that stuff? Isn't that from Dwyane's house? Yeah, I found it in his trash.
Apparently, he's over you.
I told you letting him perform would work.
He threw out everything? Even the cuckoo clock? Cuckoo Cuckoo, cuckoo I guess I'm back to being your number-one fan.
This will fit perfectly in my secret Austin Moon shrine.
That I don't have.
Oh, hey, Trish, Jace got you a present.
A chair? So romantic.
Hey, Jace.
Got your gift.
Nothing says "sorry for blowing you off" like a chair.
Trish, let me explain.
You think I want some stupid chair? This is the most amazing gift I've ever gotten! Whoa! So it's a massage chair with a TV, and a cooler?! Whoa.
Yeah, I wasn't blowing you off; I was working extra hours, so I could buy it for you.
It'll make up for not always being there for shoulder rubs, movies and milkshakes.
Aww.
Thank you, Jace.
This is so sweet.
I'm sorry for ever doubting you.
Well, that's okay.
Even though we're apart, we can always share these special moments together.
I know in my heart that what we have Shh! I'm trying to watch a movie here.