Glee s03e14 Episode Script

- Oh, this is good.
- Oh, this look at this one.
Oh, it's so timeless.
It's perfect.
Yeah, timeless, meaning you can wait two or five years to wear it.
Don't be jealous.
Well, well, well.
If it isn't a young Barbra Streisand and an old Betty White.
Where is Gay Cyclops? Still trying to stumble his way in? We can't come here anymore.
Rachel, I, uh, brought an engagement gift for you.
Hmm.
Whoa.
Oh, whoa, whoa! Oh, my God! Oh, no, that is that is Photoshopped.
His thing is not that small or or brown.
And he could never fit into those pumps.
Just think, from now until eternity, every time someone Googles Finn Hudson, they'll be treated to that and dozens just like it.
That's the beauty of the Internet.
It stays with us forever.
What do you want, Sebastian? I want a guaranteed Regionals win, so I want you to drop out.
McKinley gets home-court advantage this year.
You're going to come down with Asian bird flu or whatever Tina Blowing-Wang just had.
But that is show choir terrorism.
You give a bad name to the entire gay community.
And you give the gay community cutting-edge fashion that's usually only seen on Puerto Rican pride floats.
I'm sorry I didn't hear you.
I was distracted by your giant horse teeth.
You have 24 hours to drop out, Rachel, or I press the upload button.
That's it.
I'm done.
I'm leaving this classroom, and I'm going to beat that Sebastian kid's ass! - Finn, chill.
- No, I'm not going to chill.
- I I'm done chilling.
- The official show choir rule book states that "any real or perceived threat of violence, "vandalism or humiliation will be met with a swift "and unquestioned disqualification of the threatening party's team with extreme prejudice.
" It's right here.
Page 72, by-law 15, section six, article 44.
Guys, I contacted the headmaster of Dalton.
Like you did when Sebastian almost blinded me? What did they do then? Same thing as they're going to do now nothing.
Look, none of this matters now anyways, okay? We're not going to let him beat us like this.
- I'm going to perform at Regionals.
- Even if he's going to post a photo like this of me if you do? Finn, I'm not going to negotiate with terrorists.
If someone posted a picture like that of me online, I'd probably kill myself.
Twice to be sure I was dead.
Look, you guys are just going to have to deal with things like this.
The more successful you get, the more garbage people are going to make up about you.
They're going to love to tear you down.
I can't believe you would do that to me.
I'm going to be married to you.
Don't you think I'm going to suffer the consequences as well? I mean, I just I don't care about stuff like that.
I love you, and we'll we'll manage this together.
Okay, the important thing right now is that we win.
So you wouldn't care if I Photoshopped a photo of you like this and put it on the Internet? Look, our future depends on us winning Regionals.
It'll help me towards my NYADA application.
Hmm.
Hope you get in.
Finn.
- You wanted to see me? - Q, have a seat.
Prepare yourself.
I'm about to drop a bomb on you.
I, Sue Sylvester am with child.
Are you serious? Wow.
Um, that's amazing and confusing.
- Who's the father? - Oh, I can't tell you that yet.
But here's the deal.
In order for this zygote to stay firmly ensconced in my uterine wall, my doctor has put me on bovine hormones that are making me extremely nauseous.
They've also given me a near-superhuman sense of smell.
For instance, I can tell that within the last week, you either enjoyed a delicious curry or a hug from Principal Figgins.
Well, you know, morning sickness is a good sign.
It means that the baby is developing properly.
Well, it's good for the baby, not so good for me.
Well, you know, there really is no cure for morning sickness.
I mean, I ate saltines, drank herbal tea and sucked on lollipops.
That helps.
Lollipops? Yeah.
Weird, but it works.
Well, thank you, Q, for that condescending tone and barely helpful advice.
I wanted to ask you a favor, actually, Coach.
I would love to rejoin the Cheerios! I beg your pardon? It's my senior year, and I want to finish high school in a Cheerios! uniform with a national championship.
I mean, other than Glee, this was the rest of my high school experience.
Well, I'm sorry, Q, but that wouldn't be fair to the girls who've been practicing all year long, who didn't quit.
And if you'll now please get the hell out of my office.
I just caught a whiff of hot dog water wafting in from the cafeteria, and I think I'm going to blow some serious chunks.
Excuse me.
You okay? You seemed upset.
- And if Sebastian thinks - Forget about Sebastian! I'm not mad at you.
I just don't want to waste any more time on him.
I-I want to focus on winning.
I've got a new song I want to try out.
The theme for Regionals is "Inspiration," and I think this fits the bill.
You want to hear it? Hey, Karofsky.
What's up, Nick? ♪ Life's too short to even care at all ♪ ♪ Whoa ♪ That's terrible.
♪ I'm losing my mind, losing my mind ♪ ♪ Losing control ♪ - You want to go? Huh? - ♪ These fishes in the sea ♪ - ♪ They're staring at me, whoa ♪ - Homo.
♪ Whoa ♪ ♪ Wet world aches for a beat of a drum ♪ ♪ Whoa, whoa ♪ ♪ If I could find a way to see this straight ♪ ♪ I'd run away ♪ ♪ To some fortune that I ♪ ♪ Should have found by now ♪ ♪ I'm waiting for this cough syrup ♪ ♪ To come down ♪ ♪ Come down ♪ ♪ Life's too short to even care at all ♪ ♪ Whoa ♪ ♪ I'm coming up now, coming up now ♪ ♪ Out of the blue ♪ ♪ Oh ♪ ♪ These zombies in the park ♪ ♪ They're looking for my heart ♪ ♪ Whoa, whoa ♪ ♪ A dark world aches for a splash of the sun ♪ ♪ Whoa, whoa ♪ ♪ If I could find a way to see this straight ♪ ♪ I'd run away ♪ ♪ To some fortune that I ♪ ♪ Should have found by now ♪ ♪ And so I run now to the things they said could restore me ♪ ♪ Restore life the way it should be ♪ ♪ I'm waiting for this cough syrup ♪ ♪ To come down ♪ ♪ One more spoon of cough syrup now ♪ ♪ Whoa ♪ ♪ One more spoon of cough syrup now ♪ ♪ Whoa ♪ ♪ Oh.
♪ We have to be very careful about how we deliver the news of this to the student body.
David was part of this community, and he still has many friends here.
And my understanding is that these teen suicides or even attempts like David's can induce a string of copycats.
It's just so senseless.
Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr.
The pressure to protect your reputation is so much worse than when we were kids.
Yeah, and these people can sling their hatred and their mud anonymously.
Sue, are you crying? - Hormones.
- No, it's not hormones.
I could have done more.
I was principal when Dave was having his trouble with Porcelain, and I knew there was something up with that kid.
I knew it.
All I can think of is his dad finding him.
Get some help! David, no! Buddy, come on.
David! And that feeling.
Guys, we were all hard on Dave.
We thought he was going to hurt Kurt.
I just never thought he'd hurt himself.
- It wasn't our job to know.
- Then whose job was it? We should start today's meeting by praying for Karofsky.
That he finds peace and that he feels better.
I think we should start today's meeting by praying for his family.
They could use comfort more than he could.
I just don't understand how he could get to such a horrible, dark place.
It's all over Facebook.
A couple of kids from Karofsky's new school saw him at Breadstix with Kurt on Valentine's Day.
They posted mean stuff on his page and texted everyone that he was gay.
- He couldn't take it.
- How is he? - Is he going to live? - Well, he's in the hospital, but thank God his dad found him in time.
I feel sorry for Karofsky, but what he did was selfish.
He didn't just want to hurt himself; he wanted to hurt everyone around him.
I went through the wringer, but I never - got to that place.
- Quinn, please.
Sure, you had a baby when you were 16 and you had a bad dye job for two weeks, but seriously? The world never stopped loving you.
And you're going to Yale.
You have no idea what Karofsky was struggling with.
You really want to try to compare The despair, the self-loathing.
It doesn't matter.
I just can't imagine things getting so messed-up that you would consider taking your own life.
That is so harsh and reductive.
Have some compassion.
Do you know what they're still writing on his Facebook? "Better luck next time" and "Try, try again.
" Why are you even here, Kurt? Thought you didn't believe in God.
He asked me if he could come, and I invited him.
I heard you guys were praying for Karofsky, and after everything that we've been through, I didn't have anywhere else to go.
I feel responsible.
He asked me out, and I said no.
And he kept calling me If I'd just answered one of those stupid calls We're taking a edible arrangement to the hospital.
Do you want to come with us? I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm really sorry.
Look, I've been thinking about what Dave did, and I just want you to know that there's nothing that anybody could do and there's nothing that anybody could say about me that would make me want to do that.
Good, 'cause I don't ever want to be without you.
So, I'm not gonna perform at Regionals.
You have to.
Look, I don't care about these pictures.
I don't care about what anybody says about me except for you.
Life's too short.
- What? - Look, I don't want to wait for some arbitrary date to start living it, I I want to get married.
Now.
I have gym.
No, it's Saturday.
After we win Regionals.
Seriously? Yeah.
Awesome! But wait, what what if we lose? Well, I thought we agreed that I was singing.
Let me break it down for you, from one bitch to another.
All this vicious, underhanded crap has got to stop.
Exactly.
That's why I called you here.
First of all Blaine, I am sorry about your eye.
That means nothing to me.
Just give me a chance.
I have no excuses, other than a lame prank got completely out of control.
Second, the Finn photos have all been destroyed.
I want the Warblers to win fair and square.
And we're gonna take donations for Lady Gaga's Born This Way Foundation.
Win, lose or draw, we're gonna dedicate our performance to Dave Karofsky.
I thought you might want to join us.
Wait for the punch, you know it's coming.
No, not this time.
For too long I have treated everything like a big joke.
So, how do you get a guy to like you? You, get a guy? Please.
Why, what's wrong with me? First off, you're about Quit waxing your eyebrows.
You look like Liberace.
In fact, just stay in the closet, buddy.
It's all fun and games until it's not.
Mr.
Shue, why do you have a jar of peanut butter with one spoon? Yeah, there are 15 of us here, and I'm only comfortable sharing a spoon with about half of you.
Well, it's come to my attention that our good friend Rory Flanagan has never tasted peanut butter.
- What?! - Are you serious? - No way.
- It's not possible.
Rory, if you don't mind.
Oh, God Oh, my God That's the best thing I've ever had.
Mr.
Shuester, wow, that's incredibly moving, Yeah, Mr.
Shue, what's the point of all this? The point is Rory just had a brand-new experience, something as simple as peanut butter.
You guys are young.
I want you to promise me that, no matter how depressed you get, no matter how hopeless or alone you feel, you'll try your best to imagine all of the amazing experiences you have ahead of you.
Mr.
Shue, look, I know we're a little dramatic sometimes, but I don't think anyone will ever consider taking their own life.
I did.
Junior year.
That was a tough year.
I, uh, I cheated on my math midterm.
Peeked at the answers of the guy next to me and the teacher saw me do it.
Just 'cause you got caught cheating? I get caught cheating all the time.
They called my dad at his office, and he was coming to pick me up.
How was I supposed to look him in the eye? I just kept cturing my dad so disappointed in me.
So I walked up to the roof.
I went right to the edge.
One step and all the pain and humiliation would be over.
Is that true? That day, I promise you, it felt like it was the end of the world.
But you know what? It wasn't.
You know, for some of you, getting caught cheating isn't a big deal.
But there's something everyone has something that might take them up to that edge.
And look at all the things I would've missed out on.
I would've never met you guys or Emma.
I would've missed out on everything.
So, right now, I want you all to think of something that you're looking forward to.
Big things.
Someday, I want to earn enough money to buy my folks a new place, so they don't ever have to go through losing their home again.
I'm most looking forward to meeting Rachel Berry's children.
I want to be there to see my kid's first steps.
I want to be there to see Sex and the City Part III.
Wow.
I'm sort of embarrassed to admit it, but I really do want to graduate high school.
I'm gonna petition the Army to change my dad's dishonorable discharge status to an honorable one.
I'm looking forward to graduating from Yale at the top of my class.
I'm looking forward to the day when my grandmother loves me again.
I want Lord Tubbington to kick his Ecstasy addiction.
I am looking forward to marriage equality in all 50 states.
I'm looking forward to the first time I dance at Carnegie Hall.
I just want a song.
I'm looking forward to watching my dad make a difference in Congress.
I'm looking forward to being friends with all of you for the rest of my life.
I know this sounds silly, and the peanut butter really is amazing, Mr.
Shue, but do you know what I'm looking forward to? Winning at Regionals.
And now, let's meet our judges for the 2012 Midwest Regionals! Deputy Zoning Commissioner Melba Jackson-Wright! President of the Ohio Plumbers Union Local 109, Mr.
Harl Beindorf! And Central Ohio's number one late-night horror movie host - No - Svengoobles! And now, from Westerville, Ohio, the Dalton Academy Warblers! ♪ Come on and stand ♪ ♪ Come on, stand ♪ ♪ Up again ♪ ♪ Why don't you stand? ♪ ♪ Stand, you're gonna run again ♪ ♪ Don't give up, you're gonna see tomorrow ♪ ♪ That you'll be on your feet again ♪ ♪ Sometimes the world's gonna knock you over ♪ ♪ But you will see who are your friends ♪ ♪ Come on and stand ♪ ♪ Come on, stand ♪ ♪ Up again ♪ ♪ Come on and stand ♪ ♪ Stand, you're gonna run again ♪ ♪ You have the power to face your demons ♪ ♪ No matter how they go on time ♪ Why are you cheering your competition? Life's too short.
You should try it.
Come on.
Get up! ♪ Come on, stand ♪ ♪ Come on, baby ♪ ♪ Come on, stand ♪ ♪ Come on, stand ♪ ♪ Stand, yeah ♪ ♪ Come on, stand ♪ ♪ You can make it ♪ ♪ Come on, stand, you're gonna run again ♪ ♪ Pick up your will and put on your face ♪ ♪ If you need to, just take my hand ♪ ♪ It's time to demonstrate, don't hesitate ♪ ♪ Just get up and say, "Yes, I can" ♪ ♪ You just stand ♪ ♪ Come on, baby ♪ ♪ Stand ♪ ♪ You need to stand ♪ ♪ Stand, yeah! ♪ ♪ Come on, stand ♪ ♪ Come on, you can make it ♪ ♪ Come on, stand you're gonna run again.
♪ Thank you.
Just a reminder to please make a donation to one of our charity baskets.
We're set up all around the auditorium.
Just look for the Dalton blazer.
Please give what you can.
♪ Ooh ♪ ♪ The sun goes down, the stars come out ♪ ♪ And all that counts is here and now ♪ ♪ My universe will never be the same ♪ ♪ I'm glad you came ♪ ♪ Ba-ba, la-ah, oh-oh ♪ ♪ Da-da, da, oh-oh ♪ ♪ Da-da, la, oh-oh ♪ ♪ Da-da-da, do-do, oh-oh ♪ ♪ Da-da-da, la, la-la ♪ ♪ Da-da, da, do-da-do-da ♪ ♪ Da-da-da, la, la-la ♪ ♪ You cast a spell on me, spell on me ♪ ♪ You hit me like the sky fell on me, fell on me ♪ ♪ And I decided you look well on me, well on me ♪ ♪ So let's go somewhere no one else can see ♪ ♪ You and me ♪ ♪ Turn the lights out now ♪ ♪ Now I'll take you by the hand ♪ ♪ Hand you another drink, drink it if you can ♪ ♪ Can you spend a little time? ♪ ♪ Time is slipping away, away from us ♪ ♪ So stay, stay with me I can make, make you glad you came ♪ ♪ The sun goes down, the stars come out ♪ ♪ And all that counts is here and now ♪ ♪ My universe will never be the same ♪ ♪ I'm glad you came, I'm glad you came ♪ ♪ Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh ♪ ♪ Oh-oh-oh ♪ ♪ Turn the lights out now ♪ ♪ Now I'll take you by the hand ♪ ♪ And you will never drink ♪ ♪ Drink ♪ ♪ Drink it if you can ♪ ♪ Can ♪ ♪ Spend a little time ♪ ♪ Time is slipping away ♪ ♪ Away from us, so stay ♪ ♪ Stay with me, I can make ♪ ♪ Make you glad you came ♪ ♪ The sunoes down ♪ ♪ The stars come out ♪ ♪ And all that counts ♪ ♪ Is here and now ♪ ♪ My universe ♪ ♪ Will never be the same ♪ ♪ I'm glad you came ♪ ♪ I'm glad you came ♪ ♪ Whoa-oa-oa ♪ ♪ Whoa-oa-oa ♪ ♪ Whoa-oa-oa ♪ ♪ I'm glad you came ♪ ♪ Whoa-oa-a ♪ ♪ I'm glad you came ♪ ♪ Whoa-oa-oa ♪ ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ The sun goes down ♪ ♪ The stars come out ♪ ♪ And all that counts ♪ ♪ Is here and now ♪ ♪ My universe ♪ ♪ Will never be the same ♪ ♪ I'm glad you came ♪ ♪ I'm glad you came.
♪ And now, from Our Lady of Perpetual Sorrow High School, the Golden Goblets! ♪ Where thoughts ♪ ♪ Serenely sweet express ♪ ♪ She walks in beauty ♪ ♪ Beauty ♪ Those Golden Goblet madrigal singers were way better than I thought they'd be.
Are you high? I couldn't hear their instruments at all.
All right, guys, listen up.
Don't let them get into your heads, okay? Stay focused on what we do best.
Show circle time, come on, let's huddle up! Okay, uh - Oh, Finn, you wanted to start us off? - Yeah.
I know it's kind of short notice, but after the competition, Rachel and I are going to get married.
At the Justice of the Peace, at the Lima Municipal Center.
There will be some light refreshments afterwards, My dads and I were rolling finger sandwiches all night long.
With everything that's happened lately, we thought a lot about what Mr.
Shue said.
We didn't want to wait anymore.
We just want to live every day like it's our last.
So we wanted to thank a lot of you guys that were supportive of our decision to get married.
And-and for those of you who maybe weren't the biggest fans of our impending nuptials, we thank you also.
So after we win, we would really love it if all of you would come to our wedding.
Come on, bring it in! A mazing! ♪ I came to win ♪ ♪ To fight ♪ ♪ To conquer ♪ ♪ To thrive ♪ ♪ I came to win ♪ ♪ To survive ♪ ♪ To prosper ♪ ♪ To rise ♪ ♪ To fly ♪ ♪ To fly ♪ ♪ Uh Yo Yo ♪ ♪ I used to think that I could not ♪ ♪ Go on ♪ ♪ I wish today, it would rain all day ♪ ♪ Maybe that would kind of make the pain go away ♪ ♪ And life was nothing but an awful song ♪ ♪ They got they guns out, aimin' at me ♪ ♪ But I become near when they aimin' at me ♪ ♪ Me, me, me against them ♪ ♪ Me against enemies, me against friends ♪ ♪ Somehow they both seem to become one ♪ ♪ A sea full of sharks, and they all smell blood ♪ ♪ They start coming and I start rising ♪ ♪ Must be surprising, I'm just surmising ♪ ♪ I win, thrive, soar, higher ♪ ♪ Higher, higher, more fire ♪ ♪ I came to win ♪ ♪ To fight ♪ ♪ To conquer ♪ ♪ To thrive ♪ ♪ I came to win ♪ ♪ To survive ♪ ♪ To prosper ♪ ♪ To rise ♪ ♪ I believe I can fly ♪ ♪ To fly ♪ ♪ I believe I can touch the sky ♪ ♪ Ohh ♪ ♪ I believe I can fly ♪ ♪ Fly ♪ ♪ I believe I can touch the sky ♪ ♪ I believe I can fly ♪ ♪ Get ready for it ♪ ♪ Get ready for it ♪ ♪ When I can be it ♪ ♪ If I just believe it ♪ ♪ Get ready for it ♪ ♪ Get ready for it ♪ ♪ There's nothing to it ♪ ♪ Get ready for it ♪ ♪ I believe I can fly ♪ ♪ Fly ♪ ♪ I believe I can touch the sky ♪ ♪ I think about it every night and day ♪ ♪ Spread my wings and fly away ♪ ♪ I believe I can soar ♪ ♪ Get ready for it ♪ ♪ Get ready for it ♪ ♪ I see me running ♪ ♪ Through that open door ♪ ♪ Fly ♪ ♪ I believe I can fly ♪ ♪ Fly ♪ ♪ Get ready for it ♪ ♪ I believe I can fly ♪ ♪ I believe I can fly.
♪ Come on! Ohh wah! ♪ You know the bed feels warmer ♪ ♪ Sleeping here alone ♪ ♪ You know I dream in color ♪ ♪ And do the things I want ♪ ♪ You think you got the best of me ♪ ♪ Think you had the last laugh ♪ ♪ Bet you think that everything ♪ ♪ Good is gone ♪ ♪ Think you left me broken down ♪ ♪ Think that I'd come running back ♪ ♪ Baby, you don't know me ♪ ♪ 'Cause you're dead wrong ♪ ♪ What doesn't kill you makes you stronger ♪ ♪ Stand a little taller ♪ ♪ Doesn't mean I'm lonely ♪ ♪ When I'm alone ♪ ♪ What doesn't kill you makes a fighter ♪ ♪ Footsteps even lighter ♪ ♪ Doesn't mean I'm over ♪ ♪ 'Cause you're gone ♪ ♪ What doesn't kill you makes you ♪ ♪ Stronger ♪ ♪ You're stronger ♪ ♪ Just me, myself, and I ♪ ♪ What doesn't kill you makes you stronger ♪ ♪ Stand a little taller ♪ ♪ Doesn't mean I'm lonely ♪ ♪ I'm alone ♪ ♪ Thanks to you I got a new thing started ♪ ♪ Thanks to you I'm not the broken-hearted ♪ ♪ Thanks to you I'm finally thinking 'bout me ♪ ♪ You know in the end ♪ ♪ The day you left ♪ ♪ Was just my beginning ♪ ♪ In the end ♪ ♪ What doesn't kill you makes you stronger ♪ ♪ Stand a little taller ♪ ♪ Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone ♪ ♪ What doesn't kill you makes a fighter ♪ ♪ Footsteps even lighter ♪ ♪ Doesn't mean I'm over ♪ ♪ 'Cause you're gone ♪ ♪ What doesn't kill you makes you ♪ ♪ Stronger, stronger ♪ ♪ Just me, myself, and I ♪ ♪ What doesn't kill you makes you stronger ♪ ♪ Stronger ♪ ♪ Stand a little taller ♪ ♪ Stronger ♪ ♪ Doesn't mean I'm lonely ♪ ♪ When I'm alone ♪ ♪ Not alone.
♪ ♪ We could just go home right now ♪ ♪ Or maybe we could stick around ♪ ♪ For just one more drink ♪ ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ ♪ Get another bottle out ♪ ♪ Let's shoot the breeze ♪ ♪ Sit back down ♪ ♪ For just one more drink ♪ ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ ♪ Here's to us, here's to love ♪ ♪ All the times that we messed up ♪ ♪ Here's to you ♪ ♪ Fill the glass ♪ ♪ 'Cause the last few days have gone too fast ♪ ♪ So let's give 'em hell ♪ ♪ Wish everybody well ♪ ♪ Here's to us ♪ ♪ Here's to us ♪ ♪ We stuck it out this far together ♪ ♪ Put our dreams through the shredder ♪ ♪ Let's toast, 'cause things got better ♪ ♪ And everything could change like that ♪ ♪ And all these years go by so fast ♪ ♪ But nothing lasts forever ♪ ♪ Here's to us, here's to love ♪ ♪ All the times that we messed up ♪ ♪ Here's to you, fill the glass ♪ ♪ 'Cause the last few nights have gone too fast ♪ ♪ If they give you hell ♪ ♪ Tell them forget themselves ♪ ♪ Here's to us ♪ ♪ Here's to us ♪ ♪ Here's to all that we kissed ♪ ♪ And to all that we missed ♪ ♪ To the biggest mistakes that we just just wouldn't trade ♪ ♪ To us breakin' out, without us breakin' down ♪ ♪ To whatever's comin' our way ♪ ♪ Here's to us ♪ ♪ Here's to us ♪ ♪ Here's to us, here's to love ♪ ♪ All the times that we messed up ♪ ♪ Here's to you ♪ ♪ Fill the glass ♪ ♪ 'Cause the last few days have gone too fast ♪ ♪ If they give you hell ♪ ♪ You tell 'em forget themselves ♪ ♪ Here's to us ♪ ♪ Here's to us ♪ ♪ Oh, here's to us ♪ ♪ Here's to us ♪ ♪ Here's to us ♪ ♪ Here's to love ♪ ♪ Wish everybody well ♪ ♪ Here's to us ♪ ♪ Here's to love ♪ ♪ Here's to us ♪ ♪ Here's to us.
♪ I've crossed oceans of time to bring the results of this show choir competition.
In third place, from Our Lady of Perpetual Sorrow, the Golden Goblets! And now the moment you've all been waiting for.
The 2012 Midwest Regional Champion from McKinley High the New Directions! Coach Sylvester? Quinn, thank you for coming.
I know you must be exhausted from singing all those "oohs" and background "ahs.
" Have a seat.
I've been doing a lot of thinking this week, and, um, I don't know if it's this Karofsky thing or even seeing you perform, but I realized something.
I always admired you, Quinn.
At first, I thought it was because you reminded me of a younger, somewhat less striking Sue Sylvester, but then I realized that I admire you for all the ways you're not like me.
You proved that it's never too late to turn your life around.
And with that in mind, I'm giving you this.
You're not gonna regret this.
I'm gonna win us a national championship in this uniform.
Hey, Fabray, looking good.
Thanks, boys.
Catch you later.
Hey.
How do I look? Coach Sylvester gave it to me earlier, and I couldn't resist.
Well, I'm glad you're happy.
Everyone deserves to be happy.
When you were singing that song, you were singing it to Finn and only Finn.
Right? He really does make you so happy.
I want to support you, Rachel, and Finn, and come to the wedding, if it's not too late.
Can I come in? The doctors took me off I get to go home tomorrow.
That's great.
I'm really happy that you're alive, David.
Me, too.
I should have returned your calls.
Why would you, after the way I've treated you? It's okay.
No, it's not okay.
It's like you said on Valentine's Day, I made your life a living hell for months.
But when the same thing happened to me, I couldn't even take it for a week.
I suppose a best friend telling me he never wants to talk to me again, my mom telling me that I have a disease and maybe I can be cured I don't know what to do.
I can't go back to that school.
Then go to another school.
I'm not gonna lie to you, it it isn't gonna be easy.
And there'll be some days when life just sucks.
But you're gonna get through this.
'Cause I'm gonna help you.
And so is everyone else who loves you and accepts you for who you are.
And if they can't accept that, then screw 'em.
Right? Yeah.
This week, um, Mr.
Shue had us think about something we're looking forward to in the future.
You want to give it a go? I don't know.
Come on.
I'll help you.
Close your eyes, and imagine what life could be like in ten years.
You're sitting in a fantastic office.
You're some kind of successful professional.
A lawyer, maybe.
Could I be a sports agent? Sure.
You're a big sports agent living in the city of your dreams because you left Lima and never looked back.
Your handsome partner comes to visit you in your office and brings along your son.
You're taking the rest of the day off work because you're taking your son to his first football game.
You lean over to your partner, and you say, "I'm so happy right now.
" You, uh you said last week you wanted to be friends? I'd like that.
Me, too.
I believe congratulations are in order.
What do you mean? You've never congratulated me about anything.
Oh, I was in the audience at Regionals today, and I thought the Glee Club was just fantastic.
Now you congratulate me.
Why? I'm pregnant.
Sue, that's incredible.
Wow.
Thank you.
Wait, what are you doing here? Oh, I wouldn't miss Finn and Rachel getting married.
I'm crashing.
I think you can win at Nationals, and I want to help you.
Are you serious? I'm a proven champion.
I got some tricks up my sleeve.
What's the catch? You know, I don't think there is a catch.
I think I really just want to help you.
- Isn't that weird? - Mm-hmm.
Damn hormones.
Okay, could we just have a show of hands that we all still think this is a crazy idea? Okay, good, that settles it.
I'm pulling the plug.
Burt, calm down.
Calm down? Carol, our kids are getting hitched we screwed up big-time.
We started playing these crazy reverse psychology games with them, look where we are.
The blame game? - This'll be fun.
Bring it, Burt.
- How did we screw up? By raising two kind, wonderful, independently-minded children? I agree with Burt.
They're in love, wunderbar, but nowhere near ready for this kind of commitment.
At least we're here.
The truth is, if we'd come down hard on them, they would have gone behind our back and eloped.
Trust me, I know my son.
Okay? And once he puts his mind to something, there is no getting him off of it.
Same with Rachel.
At this point, even Patti LuPone herself couldn't talk her out of marrying Finn.
- Barbara could.
- Maybe Barbara.
- Who's Barbara? - Streisand.
But, since Babs is probably shopping in her private underground mall right now you know she has her own mall? Here's what we're gonna do: When the Justice of the Peace - says does anybody here object - Hell, yeah, I do.
We will all say, "We do.
" ♪ With feeling.
♪ Burt, you will run interference with Finn.
Carol, you will distract the Justice of the Peace with your feminine wiles.
I will hustle Rachel out the side door and into our waiting car, where you, LeRoy, will drive I don't drive straight to Broadway.
And if that doesn't start to get our baby girl back on her career track, I don't know what will.
Are we agreed? Sounds like a plan.
Wow, Rachel, you You just You look You do, too.
Ready to go in there? Just-just-just hold on just a second.
I-I just want to take a second just to remember this.
Us.
Oh, it's Quinn.
Sorry.
"Ran home to get my bridesmaids dress.
Be there soon.
" Great.
Well, Miss Hudson-Berry, everybody's waiting.
♪ Goin' to the chapel and we're ♪ ♪ Gonna get married ♪ ♪ Goin' to the chapel ♪ ♪ And we're ♪ ♪ Gonna get married ♪ ♪ Gee, I really love you ♪ ♪ And we're gonna get married ♪ ♪ Goin' to the chapel ♪ ♪ Of love ♪ Face it, Quinn's not coming.
She said she'd be here, okay? I don't want to start without her.
Is everything okay? Yeah, we've got five minutes.
Come on, let's go.
Whew! ♪ Sky is blue, whoa-oh-oh ♪ ♪ Birds all sing ♪ ♪ As if they knew ♪ ♪ Today's our day ♪ Looking sharp.
Thanks.
- ♪ We'll say I do ♪ - All right, come on.
♪ And we'll never be lonely ♪ Finn, out.
You can't see the bride before the wedding.
I've already seen her.
But that's bad luck.
No, it's fine.
Rachel, we got to go right now, or we're gonna lose our slot.
Could we please just wait a couple more minutes - for Quinn, please? - It's now or never.
♪ Gonna get married ♪ ♪ Goin' to the chapel ♪ ♪ And we're gonna get married ♪ ♪ Gee, I really love you ♪ If we're gonna do something, do it now.
I'm gonna fake an epileptic seizure.
You're not an epileptic.
- That's why I'm gonna fake it.
- Hurry up.