Leverage s03e14 Episode Script
The Ho, Ho, Ho Job
[woman on TV.]
Extended forecast for the next five days.
[man on TV.]
Unusually high temperatures here in Boston, ranging - [Hardison.]
Parker.
- [woman on TV.]
Unseasonably warm.
Just Give Thank you.
Look, the weather forecast is the same on every single channel.
Sorry.
But it's not Christmas without snow! [sighs.]
Parker, you're not gonna get a white Christmas this year.
All we need is for this low pressure system from Canada to come down an bring us a blast of cold air and precipitation.
Yeah, I'll get right on that.
Where you goin'? - Caroling.
- Oh.
Caroling.
You do realize there's a Christmas party in the bar? Ah, son of a [door slams.]
Well? I want flurries.
Make it happen.
[sighs.]
[indistinct chatter.]
- This is for you.
- Thanks.
- Cheers.
- [laughter.]
[sighs.]
Ah.
[woman.]
See you later.
Bah, humbug.
Nate, there's a client here to see you.
We're closed.
It's the holidays.
No, I really think we should talk to this one.
It's Santa.
- [sighs.]
Oh.
Don't you think? - [clears throat.]
Really? The rich and powerful, take what they want.
We steal it back for you.
Sometimes bad guys make the best good guys.
We provide leverage.
[* Jingle Bells .]
[Santa laughs.]
Well, that's quite a list you've got there.
[Santa 2.]
Out of the way.
Go.
You, too.
- Have you been nice? - Move! - Uh-huh.
- Of course you have! Here you are, my dear.
Thank you! And who's next? C'mon, Frank.
Up, up, up.
Let's go.
Oh.
Uh, Santa's a little busy right now, Mr.
Dooley.
Yeah, well, Santa's also a little bit drunk, everyone.
Sorry.
- That's not mine.
That's not mine.
- Well, we found it in your locker, Frank.
And you're fired.
C'mon.
Come on.
No! Santa's not fired! No, no, not in front of the kids! Please, no, the children, the children.
- [Dooley.]
Come on, take over.
- No need to push! No need to push! Hey, keep Christmas rollin'.
Mm, beard up, beard up.
Right.
OK, let's get Christmas goin' again, people.
All right, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas.
But the children.
This is so humiliating.
I am no drunk! He lied.
I haven't touched a drop of alcohol in years.
- You can ask my wife.
- This guy, Dooley, the mall owner, why would he wanna frame you? Over the past month, he's fired all the old Santas.
Guys who've worked the mall for years.
And their replacements? They don't look like Santas, Mr.
Ford.
They look like criminals.
I walked in on them meeting with Dooley, and they all clammed up.
They're up to something.
I told Dooley, I'm the senior Santa.
I run the Toys for Tykes drive every Christmas Eve.
If he fired me without cause, I'd sue.
So he framed me to get me out of the way.
[sighs.]
Poor Santa.
This is not just some part-time job I've lost.
I make appearances as Santa all year round.
It's who I am.
But who'd let their kids near me now, huh? I just want my reputation back.
I wanna be Santa again.
Mm-hmm, OK.
Uh, thank you, Frank.
Uh, we're gonna talk it over.
OK, thanks.
Thanks.
Uh, no, no, no, no The Christmas spirit has a way of sneaking up on you, you know.
[grunts, sighs.]
- [sighs.]
- What? Parker, no.
This is too thin.
Besides, we were all gonna take a break from each other and not spend the holidays together.
Come on.
OK, bad enough it's Christmas and there's no snow on the ground.
But this is Santa we're talkin' about, OK? We can't turn away Santa! You know that's not really Santa, right? Obviously.
Santa lives at the North Pole.
OK, uh, Pop, uh, a little more smile.
No, kill it, too much smile.
All right.
Mom, you're great.
One second.
I need Junior over here.
And you, scoot! Good times.
Kris Kringle, open up the eyes, man.
C'mon.
It's Christmas.
You scared the kids.
On three.
Twenty-eight, 19, three.
[camera clicks.]
Yeah, that should be on a magazine.
All right, get on.
Who's next? Oh, it's quite fun being able to shop on the job.
Ooh, that's quite nice.
Is that what you want? You want me to get that engraved for you, I'll need to know your real name.
You know what's also quite nice? A gift certificate.
That's nice, too.
Sure, yeah.
OK, looks like I'm up.
Lots of energy, love.
Every job's important.
Mr.
Dooley? Hi, Anton Underhill.
Retail consul - I really don't have time for this.
- Well, time is money, and that's what I'm offering you.
Parker, Eliot, be quick.
[woman.]
Mr.
Dooley's not in his office at the moment.
May I have him return your call? - Feliz Navidad.
[chuckles.]
- All these are for Mr.
Dooley? They are if his name is - Ashley.
- That's my name! - No kiddin'? - [chuckles.]
Yeah! I swear.
Now, why would someone bring him a bunch of packages when a pretty little thing like you is sittin' right there? [chuckles.]
There's so many of 'em.
Yeah.
I tell you what What if we open just one? It's not Christmas yet.
It feels like Christmas to me right now.
[chuckles.]
[Parker.]
Eliot.
- Mm, chocolates! - Outstanding! - Yum! - Classic.
- Mm-hmm.
- You know what? Since we're Let me [sighs.]
Now, this one here, that feels like lingerie to me.
I'm just sayin', I deliver a lot of packages, and it feels like lingerie to me.
Mm.
Sad.
Happy! [beeping.]
[glass clanks.]
Dooley framed Santa with his own Scotch.
[Nate.]
It's a wonder there's any shoppers at all.
You got obstructed sight lines.
The signage is at the wrong height.
And you've got, uh, you know, you got the the bad element, uh, you know, chasing out the good.
What can I do? Twin Pines took all my customers.
OK, well, what if I were to tell you that my methods would get more shoppers to open up their wallets, huh? Hm? Not too late to make a killing on Christmas Eve.
You know what? I'm really not interested, OK? But why don't you check out the sales at Talarico? Denim jackets are half off.
Think about it.
Eben Dooley, Jr.
, inherited the Regency Square Mall three years ago after his father passed, and has since nearly run it into the ground.
According to his computer files, he [* Jingle Bells .]
Turn that off! - Parker! - [shuts off music.]
What? As I was saying, according to his computer files, he's been inflating income.
And the reality is, the mall's on the verge of bankruptcy.
Well, that would explain the anti-anxiety meds.
Oh, I'd pop pills, too, if I had his gamblin' debts.
- Parker.
Is that the Lion of Gilgamesh? - Mm-hmm.
Stole it in Dubai in '05.
I think it looks nice next to the Star Sapphire - I took from the Prado.
- Oh, careful! You've got, like, millions of dollars worth of loot on that tree.
Happy birthday, Jesus.
[Hardison.]
Hey, guys, check this out.
Eben's on a flight on Christmas Eve to San Lorenzo.
And those Santas? Ex-cons.
See, the, uh, facial recognition, it focuses on the eyes.
Thought they could fool me with those fake beards.
Sad.
You kiddin' me? Yeah, yeah, it's an insurance scam.
He's desperate for money, so he fires the old Santas.
He hires these goons to rob the mall.
And by fleeing to San Lorenzo, he's got an alibi.
If we can take Dooley down, we can prove he framed Santa.
Yeah.
Sophie, you don't let Dooley get on that plane.
And, uh, we're gonna need somebody inside the mall.
I'm already on it.
Hacking into the mall's employee database as we speak.
[whispers.]
Stop it.
[toddler whimpering.]
[Nate.]
Hey, Eliot, you in the spirit yet? Ho, ho, ho.
What do ya want for Christmas, kid? You're not really Santa.
Is that a real beard? - Hey, don't.
- [camera clicks.]
You smell like my stepdad after he plays basketball.
Why is the North Pole over here this year? It's usually on the other side by the pretzel stand.
They'll put frosting on your pretzels if you ask.
All right, look, man, frosting's gonna give you cavities, OK? - Happy holidays.
- Wait, I want a Rubbery Robby! You'll get a Sammy Spankin' you don't get off my lap.
[in high voice.]
Don't worry, Santa just hasn't had his morning nog yet.
[whispers.]
You're Santa! Respect the suit! Parker, this beard is itchy, all right? And somebody peed on my lap earlier.
And everybody wants a Rub Me Robby.
Rubbery Robby! It's a toy.
- [grunts.]
This is the worst job ever.
- This is the best job ever.
Oh, this is easily one of my favorite missions.
Nate, I don't understand why couldn't you play Santa.
Well, you know, Dooley's seen me, first of all, and, secondly, you just fit in better with the other Santas.
- Really? You're the ex-con.
- Yeah, but you're just so jolly.
[whispers.]
Jolly.
[laughs.]
Hardison, I'm gonna I got a lump of coal with your name on it.
OK, Sophie, have you made contact with Dooley yet? On our way to the car now.
[Sophie.]
Wow.
This guy's right on the edge.
I could really do a number on him.
- Get up.
- [Nate.]
All right, make sure he doesn't get on that plane.
And listen, if you can spook him into calling an audible, go to town.
[on radio.]
* Deck the halls with boughs of holly * Hardison, here's the real driver.
* 'Tis the season to be jolly * Fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la * * Don we now our gay apparel * Fa-la-la la-la-la la-la-la * * See the blazing Yule before us * * Fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la * * Zap the car with EMP * Fa-la-la-la-boom * [music stops.]
- [car sputters.]
- [driver.]
What's with the power? [chuckles.]
- [chuckles.]
- All right.
Why isn't this working? C'mon.
[alarm chirps.]
Hey, come on! Hey, hey! C'mon! What? [Sophie.]
Christmas in the tropics, eh? That's no fun.
- I'd rather be there than here.
- Oh, not me.
It's not the holidays without a chill in the air.
Got my whole family coming over from Slough.
So many details.
So many last-minute preparations.
Is everything ready, hm? - Yeah.
- Is my goose cooked? Is there enough plum pudding for everyone? Don't wanna get caught, not for getting someone a present.
No, no, no, no, no.
That'd be a crime.
[sighs.]
- Excuse me.
- [speed dials.]
Hi.
Yeah, it's me.
Uh, could you run through it one more time, please? Well, because I want to know that everything is ready! - You tracking this? - [Hardison.]
No, the signal's encrypted.
For a bunch of Santas, they have some damn good tech.
[indistinct chatter.]
Nate, these guys aren't talkin' on their phones.
Maybe Dooley's workin' with somebody else.
Don't tell me to calm down! All right, I am the one who [sighs.]
I'm the one who's putting himself on the line.
OK.
[sniffs.]
All right.
Excuse me, miss, uh, could you hurry? I really need to make my flight.
You're the boss.
[bell dings.]
Oh, uh, excuse me, miss? There's something wrong with the Hey! What's happening? Hey! Hey! Flight's delayed.
- Hey.
- What's up? - 'Sup.
- 'Sup with him? - You know that guy? - Nah.
- Where'd you come from? - [sniffs.]
- And don't say the North Pole.
- Relax.
I'm on the team.
Dooley brought me in.
A little extra help for the job tonight.
- Good.
We could use the extra muscle.
- Where do you want me? Front and center.
Ho, ho, ho.
Give to the needy.
'Tis the season.
Oh, Eliot, c'mon.
You're not gonna get any donations like that.
Put some heart into it.
I don't understand why I can't just take these guys out, all right? I took down a Uruguayan death squad with nothing but piano wire and a br What? Santa stuff, man.
You got any money? Get the hell on.
[Nate.]
Listen, there'll be plenty of clobberin' time once the job begins.
Now, we just have a couple hours before the mall closes, so relax.
I'll bring you a pretzel.
[man chuckles.]
I I have to catch my flight.
Oh, you're not going anywhere, I'm afraid.
Not in your condition.
No, you don't understand, I have to get out of town.
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Calm down.
Do you know how lucky you are? The universe must have a plan for you.
No, not me.
I am beyond saving.
[clicks tongue.]
No one's beyond saving, Mr.
Dooley.
Not at Christmastime.
[groans.]
More morphine.
[groans.]
More drugs.
Santa.
Why don't ya help out the needy, man? I got a quota to fill here.
Yeah, ho, ho, ho.
- How ya doin'? Merry Christmas.
- Yeah.
- They got credit cards for those things now? - I don't know, man.
- I guess it's more convenient these days.
- [Hardison laughs.]
- I gotta get a picture of this.
- [Eliot.]
Damn the jokes, man.
I will knock you out with this bell, man.
I'm serious.
- Come on, you - [beeping.]
Hey.
Hey, man, this thing's got an RFID antenna.
Radio frequency ID.
Maybe to prevent shoplifting.
Or not.
[Parker.]
Guys, those are at every exit.
Do you think they're connected to the robbery? - [beeping.]
- Not a physical robbery.
- There you go.
Merry Christmas.
- Thank you.
It's virtual.
So you're sayin' this thing's bigger than we thought? Guys, this whole mall is a identity sponge.
Between the kettle and the RFID readers, Dooley's collecting thousands of credit and debit numbers through the holiday season.
Yeah, Christmas Eve is the peak time for credit card activity.
These companies' defenses, they're overwhelmed by all the last-minute transactions.
And the systems, they're up all night tryin' to process the backlog.
- [Nate.]
Sure.
- So fraudulent charges aren't gonna flag.
Yeah, but credit cardholders are only liable for, what, 50 bucks of fraud? - Well, per incident.
- Yeah.
If there's hundreds of incidents and hundreds of transactions on every card When the stores close tonight, Dooley and his team are gonna rip off millions of dollars and no one'll even notice.
He's stealing Christmas.
[slurring.]
I was just trying to stay afloat.
What am I supposed to do? So much debt.
- Credit-card fraud? - Sophie, find out how Dooley's pullin' the trigger.
- He's gotta be working with a hacker.
- He's right on the edge.
I think I can turn him, get him to call the whole thing off.
Well, hurry up.
We might be too late already.
[dials, line rings.]
Hello? How quickly can you get to Boston Common Hospital? [Dooley moans.]
[echoing.]
Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho! Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho! - Santa? - Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho! [chuckles.]
Well If it isn't Ebenezer Dooley! [chuckles.]
Taken a little tumble, have we? - What are you doing here? - Children in hospitals need toys, too.
You look like you could use a, uh, Rubbery Robby doll.
I fired you.
Why would you be kind to me? Oh, Santa doesn't hold grudges.
But there is something I want to talk to you about.
Credit card fraud, Eben? On Christmas Eve? [clicks tongue.]
- [Sophie clicks tongue.]
- What? What are y? How do you know? Santa knows everything.
He's got a list.
OK, what are you? What? - Are you the real Santa? - [chuckles.]
- You know? - [presses button.]
- You know what I did? - Ho, ho, ho.
I wanna I wanna be nice, Santa.
I don't wanna be naughty.
Well, then you know what you have to do.
Call off your hacker, and Santa will pretend this never happened.
Here.
[moans.]
[phone rings.]
That's him now! Hey.
I Yeah, I want you to stop.
Turn it off.
I don't wanna go through Hm? I don't [sighs.]
He wants to talk to Sophie Devereaux.
Who is this? Hello, Sophie.
It's the Grinch who stole Christmas.
- Chaos? - Long time, no try to kill you.
Now, this here's Colin Mason, otherwise known by his hacker handle as Chaos.
There's no way I'm gonna try to out-con Sophie Devereaux! - [Chaos.]
Hello, Sophie.
- Chaos.
I take it that, via your comms, I'm talking to the entire Justice League? Hello, Chaos.
I thought we left you rotting in a federal prison.
Oh, c'mon, those things are made to be broken out of.
You of all people know that.
Especially one that runs its security off an unencrypted operating system.
Am I right, Hardison? Oh, and, uh, Parker? You look yummy in that elf costume.
Nate, the Santas.
Come on.
They're gone.
[Chaos imitating Eliot.]
Hey, guys, their cocoa's still warm.
They can't be far y'all.
Damn it, Hardison.
Don't bother tryin' to chase us.
All the pieces are in place for my credit card catastrophe.
And there is nothing that you, or that waste of painkillers Eben Dooley, can do about it.
Oh, and Hardison? This is a nice gun.
Maybe if I'm a good boy, Santa will bring me one.
[zapping.]
Oh, Lucille Two! Ho, ho, ho! C'mon, man! What'd he set the EMP on? Toast? He killed her, Nate.
I hate him.
I hate him.
She was a good van.
[sighs.]
We'll get you another.
Santa is so angry.
[Nate.]
How's he gonna pull this off? OK, look, his network is piggybacking off of the city's trunk line, its Internet backbone.
Uh, Eliot, you can rip all you want, man, but you're not shuttin' Chaos down from here.
- [beeping.]
- [Parker.]
What? - He's pulled the trigger.
- Then every second that we delay, innocent people are getting scammed.
- So the only way to turn Chaos off - Is to turn off the trunk line.
- Which is housed at - [beeping.]
- The Yakamoto building.
- Hardison, that's a major operation on a military-grade facility.
I can call my sources, man.
I need a I need a week of plannin', new equipment All right, Sophie, meet us at the Yakamoto building downtown.
We're gonna pull an Edward Albee.
[car approaches, crashes.]
- [Nate.]
Get her away from Stop it! - Are you folks OK? [Nate.]
Yeah, yeah.
No, I veered - This is a restricted area.
- I had a little too much eggnog.
- I mighta hit your building.
- It's all right, but you - Keep her away from me! - You know who lives in a red brick building? My sister! [screaming.]
[Parker laughing.]
- Fifth floor! [chuckles.]
- You know what? That was not on my bucket list, OK? Oh, c'mon.
Do you know how many chimneys Santa has to go down tonight? You only had to go down one.
- Meow, meow, meow, meow.
- Calm down.
Hold on a second.
[Sophie.]
Do you have sisters? Every five minutes, sneaking - [overlapping chatter.]
- [Sophie.]
Every chance he gets, I say, he's over at my sister's.
[pants.]
You know, when this is over, we gonna have us a long talk.
OK, server room is that way.
- [grunts, groans.]
- Merry Christmas, buddy.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas! - I love you, baby.
- I love you, too.
- I'm sorry.
- Ah, it's OK.
My sister, she's not even cute.
- I don't even like her.
- No.
[computer beeping.]
[beeping.]
Sorry, bud.
Get some overtime.
Server room alarm is off.
- [beeping.]
- [door unlocks.]
Don't touch anything.
[beeping.]
Nate, man, this is like trying to plug a fire hose with a pebble.
Hardison, are you saying you can't do it? When have I ever said that, ever? He's in.
- You're in, right? - Yeah.
Just have to find the sector with the mall, so we don't shut down the whole city.
All right, Chaos.
This is for Lucille Two.
Oh, you can keep knockin', but you ain't comin' in.
Yeah, OK.
We should probably Shall we? Yeah, shall.
[Sophie.]
Well, people, not bad, huh? For, like, what was it? Eight minutes of planning? [chuckles.]
I feel bad I had to take out the guard, though.
I left him a candy cane.
[Parker.]
Oh, that's all right.
I feel like caroling.
Is it too late for caroling? - [Sophie.]
Of course not.
- Hey, man.
- [Sophie.]
It's still Christmas Eve.
- What's the matter? Come on, we did just take down one of the most secure facilities in town.
- Boom, don't leave me hanging.
- Every law enforcement agency - is descending on the Yakamoto right now.
- Come on.
Why would the Treasury Department be sending a car? I mean, why would they be interested in some neighborhood losing their Internet access? [Hardison.]
I don't know.
Uh, trunk lines can't be hacked.
The government could use them for a security application.
- Theoretically.
- Call up the mall.
[Nate.]
Now, when you shut off the lines to the mall, you also shut off the depository.
Yeah, that's it right there.
OK, guys.
[sighs.]
We just got played.
[Chaos.]
Gentlemen, the Federal Bank Depository is ours.
'Tis the season to be jolly.
How do you not think to ask your sources what else is on that trunk line? How come you didn't figure out Chaos was after the bank, man? - I thought all you dorks thought alike.
- I did my job, man! - You wanna see me do mine? - Your job is to deliver magic and joy - to little boys and girls.
- Wow, I thought Christmas at Aunt Emily's was humiliating.
[Eliot.]
All I'm You gotta check every, every avenue! - I did check every avenue! - Enough! We all did our jobs.
Everyone except me.
[Nate.]
Now, Chaos, he manipulated us because we're the best.
Now, my job is to see two steps ahead.
I should've realized that this credit card scam was a setup.
I didn't.
[sighs.]
This way.
[Santa.]
Nate Ford's crew really came through for us.
I knew they would.
All I had to do was set up the dominos.
Then my mesh network maxes out the credit cards, and the cash rolls in.
Is the answer to your prayers.
[sighs.]
Tell me again about the money.
[grunting.]
He can't treat you like this.
I know somebody who can help.
Ask for Nate Ford.
He's very dependable, that Nate Ford.
[stammers.]
I didn't take this job seriously.
I don't know.
I just, um, I led us right into Chaos' trap.
- We were all thrown.
- [Nate sighs.]
Yes, but it's my job not to be.
I'm sorry.
[Sophie.]
You're what? Christmas Eve is a magical night.
- You just ruined it.
- [Nate sighs.]
OK, the plan is to figure out the plan in the car.
Hold up! We're good to go! Now, fellas, don't get greedy.
Only take the first 50 million.
[saw revving.]
[Nate.]
Any visual on Chaos? No sign of entry, no roof access.
They must have gone in underneath.
No.
Tunneling's too risky.
Woulda taken months.
Unless the tunnel was already there.
Back in the '60s, the pedestrian tunnels were sort of the wave of the future.
The Mob made a fortune on the contracts until the state shut them down.
And you got this from your days in insurance? Uh, no.
My dad's pals.
They used to joke about going to live in the tunnels when their wives kicked them out.
So how do we get in? Why is the North Pole over here this year? It's usually on the other side by the pretzel stand.
- The North Pole.
- What? Their entrance is under the North Pole.
Let's go.
All right, you guys, let's go.
'Tis the season to move your asses! OK, let's all line up at the North Pole.
Santa's got presents for everybody! - Dooley? - Hey, driver lady! And pushy consultant guy! You're just in time.
Hey, pull up the beard, son.
Respect the suit.
- Told ya.
- What's goin' on, Frank? [chuckles.]
The Toys for Tykes drive is back on, thanks to Mr.
Dooley.
Yeah.
It's still Christmas Eve, and I said to Santa, it's not too late to make those kids' dreams come true! - [laughs.]
- Drove a bus to the family shelter and loaded everyone up.
At first I thought it was the pills, [chuckles.]
but now I think he's really changed.
Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho! Eliot, go meet Chaos in the tunnels.
The rest of you got some last-minute shopping to do.
Well, if it isn't Kristina Kringle.
Chaos.
- You killed my friend's van.
- Oh, yeah, I wrecked that van.
- Take him out, guys.
Meet me at the garage.
- All right.
We doin' this beards or without beards, boys? [grunting.]
[Eliot.]
Santa's comin' to town.
Yes, I'm calling about the attack on the trunk lines.
[grunting.]
Eliot, what's happening? - [grunts.]
- [steam hissing.]
Let's go! [Nate.]
Eliot! [Nate.]
Eliot, what's happening? Eliot? Nate, they're headed back to the mall.
OK, I'll take it from here.
Hurry up! Chaos is waiting.
Come on.
Gimme your bag.
- [children.]
Santa! - [all shouting.]
[Santa.]
Ho, ho, ho [Dooley.]
All right! That's right, kids! The Santas have brought toys for everybody.
- [Santas.]
Ho, ho, ho! - [sirens wail.]
Boys.
Come on, spread the holiday cheer! Now, you heard the elf.
[chuckles.]
- You can't make me.
- No.
[chuckles.]
But they can.
- Hey, hey, kids! - [all shouting.]
- [Dooley.]
Go on, kids.
Dig in.
- Where's the money? - What's that? - What is this stuff? - This is crazy! - This is a doll, man! What happened to the money? [grunting.]
Let's go! What happened to the money? [Santa.]
Ho, ho, ho! Special Agent Hagen.
You must've gotten my handler's call.
Deep cover.
You're gonna find the stolen cash under the tunnel.
There you go.
Come on.
Everyone gets one.
Hand 'em out, Santas.
Pass it out, pass it out.
- [laughs.]
What did you get? What did you get? - Wait.
Wait for the kids to leave.
We don't wanna ruin Christmas.
[Santa laughing.]
C'mon.
Here you go.
- [Dooley.]
C'mon, kids.
Open 'em up.
Don't be shy.
- Thanks, Santa! Ho, ho, ho! Ah, Santa, how're we gonna top this next year, huh? Do you mean I have my job back? I think this mall could use a Santa year round.
[laughs.]
You are high on the holiday spirit! Yes, I am! And pills mixed with morphine.
I can't believe you let me drive here.
So are you mean or not? Sh.
Don't tell anybody.
Sorry, Santas.
But the Grinch has a plane to catch.
- Whassup, Mason.
- Oh, come on.
[grunts.]
[beeping.]
- [beeping.]
- [sighs.]
You got it? Hey, you be careful with him, all right? I mean, he looks harmless, pathetic even, weak chin, pale complexion, but, uh, I assure you he's dangerous.
You have to admit, it was a good plan.
Yeah.
But there's one thing you didn't count on.
- Oh, no! - You forgot about the true meaning - Don't you say it! - of Christmas.
- That barely applies here! - Let's go! - Come on.
- Ho, ho, ho.
[Hardison.]
Hey, pardon my language on Christmas, - but, uh, we kicked Chaos' ass.
- Yes, we did.
Here's to that.
Yes.
Hey, so when are you gonna take that off? It's the whole The Santa beard didn't do it for me.
- Wow.
- Hey, listen.
This being Christmas Eve and all, um, Sophie and I, we thought Well, me, mostly.
Sophie definitely helped.
Uh, we thought And, by the way, there's no need to reciprocate, mind you.
- It's But we thought that - We got you presents.
- [gasps.]
- Yeah.
- You bought us gifts? - Well, I wouldn't say bought exactly.
- We, um obtained.
- Yeah.
So, Eliot, you're first.
- It's a Hanzo sword.
- Yeah.
How'd Who'd - Who did you talk? - Well, I know a guy who knows a guy who knows a samurai.
Hardison? No, this can't be.
It is.
It's Prototype Seven.
They haven't even released Version Five yet.
I - I won't tell if you won't.
- You better believe it.
[chuckles.]
- Don't torture her.
- OK, all right, Parker, you're next.
Put your hands out.
[gasps.]
How did you know? Non-sequential serial numbers? My favorite.
[sniffs.]
- [Eliot grunting.]
- Oh! [phone beeping.]
[sniffing.]
You know, I got something for you, too.
- Oh, you shouldn't have.
- Yeah, you're right Give it to me, quick.
[clears throat.]
There we are.
[Sophie.]
"Your Name Here.
" Yeah, uh, you don't have to give me anything.
In fact, I'd prefer if you didn't.
I'm very hard to shop for, so - Sh, sh, sh - I, uh I'm gonna give you something.
There's something for you.
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.
Extended forecast for the next five days.
[man on TV.]
Unusually high temperatures here in Boston, ranging - [Hardison.]
Parker.
- [woman on TV.]
Unseasonably warm.
Just Give Thank you.
Look, the weather forecast is the same on every single channel.
Sorry.
But it's not Christmas without snow! [sighs.]
Parker, you're not gonna get a white Christmas this year.
All we need is for this low pressure system from Canada to come down an bring us a blast of cold air and precipitation.
Yeah, I'll get right on that.
Where you goin'? - Caroling.
- Oh.
Caroling.
You do realize there's a Christmas party in the bar? Ah, son of a [door slams.]
Well? I want flurries.
Make it happen.
[sighs.]
[indistinct chatter.]
- This is for you.
- Thanks.
- Cheers.
- [laughter.]
[sighs.]
Ah.
[woman.]
See you later.
Bah, humbug.
Nate, there's a client here to see you.
We're closed.
It's the holidays.
No, I really think we should talk to this one.
It's Santa.
- [sighs.]
Oh.
Don't you think? - [clears throat.]
Really? The rich and powerful, take what they want.
We steal it back for you.
Sometimes bad guys make the best good guys.
We provide leverage.
[* Jingle Bells .]
[Santa laughs.]
Well, that's quite a list you've got there.
[Santa 2.]
Out of the way.
Go.
You, too.
- Have you been nice? - Move! - Uh-huh.
- Of course you have! Here you are, my dear.
Thank you! And who's next? C'mon, Frank.
Up, up, up.
Let's go.
Oh.
Uh, Santa's a little busy right now, Mr.
Dooley.
Yeah, well, Santa's also a little bit drunk, everyone.
Sorry.
- That's not mine.
That's not mine.
- Well, we found it in your locker, Frank.
And you're fired.
C'mon.
Come on.
No! Santa's not fired! No, no, not in front of the kids! Please, no, the children, the children.
- [Dooley.]
Come on, take over.
- No need to push! No need to push! Hey, keep Christmas rollin'.
Mm, beard up, beard up.
Right.
OK, let's get Christmas goin' again, people.
All right, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas.
But the children.
This is so humiliating.
I am no drunk! He lied.
I haven't touched a drop of alcohol in years.
- You can ask my wife.
- This guy, Dooley, the mall owner, why would he wanna frame you? Over the past month, he's fired all the old Santas.
Guys who've worked the mall for years.
And their replacements? They don't look like Santas, Mr.
Ford.
They look like criminals.
I walked in on them meeting with Dooley, and they all clammed up.
They're up to something.
I told Dooley, I'm the senior Santa.
I run the Toys for Tykes drive every Christmas Eve.
If he fired me without cause, I'd sue.
So he framed me to get me out of the way.
[sighs.]
Poor Santa.
This is not just some part-time job I've lost.
I make appearances as Santa all year round.
It's who I am.
But who'd let their kids near me now, huh? I just want my reputation back.
I wanna be Santa again.
Mm-hmm, OK.
Uh, thank you, Frank.
Uh, we're gonna talk it over.
OK, thanks.
Thanks.
Uh, no, no, no, no The Christmas spirit has a way of sneaking up on you, you know.
[grunts, sighs.]
- [sighs.]
- What? Parker, no.
This is too thin.
Besides, we were all gonna take a break from each other and not spend the holidays together.
Come on.
OK, bad enough it's Christmas and there's no snow on the ground.
But this is Santa we're talkin' about, OK? We can't turn away Santa! You know that's not really Santa, right? Obviously.
Santa lives at the North Pole.
OK, uh, Pop, uh, a little more smile.
No, kill it, too much smile.
All right.
Mom, you're great.
One second.
I need Junior over here.
And you, scoot! Good times.
Kris Kringle, open up the eyes, man.
C'mon.
It's Christmas.
You scared the kids.
On three.
Twenty-eight, 19, three.
[camera clicks.]
Yeah, that should be on a magazine.
All right, get on.
Who's next? Oh, it's quite fun being able to shop on the job.
Ooh, that's quite nice.
Is that what you want? You want me to get that engraved for you, I'll need to know your real name.
You know what's also quite nice? A gift certificate.
That's nice, too.
Sure, yeah.
OK, looks like I'm up.
Lots of energy, love.
Every job's important.
Mr.
Dooley? Hi, Anton Underhill.
Retail consul - I really don't have time for this.
- Well, time is money, and that's what I'm offering you.
Parker, Eliot, be quick.
[woman.]
Mr.
Dooley's not in his office at the moment.
May I have him return your call? - Feliz Navidad.
[chuckles.]
- All these are for Mr.
Dooley? They are if his name is - Ashley.
- That's my name! - No kiddin'? - [chuckles.]
Yeah! I swear.
Now, why would someone bring him a bunch of packages when a pretty little thing like you is sittin' right there? [chuckles.]
There's so many of 'em.
Yeah.
I tell you what What if we open just one? It's not Christmas yet.
It feels like Christmas to me right now.
[chuckles.]
[Parker.]
Eliot.
- Mm, chocolates! - Outstanding! - Yum! - Classic.
- Mm-hmm.
- You know what? Since we're Let me [sighs.]
Now, this one here, that feels like lingerie to me.
I'm just sayin', I deliver a lot of packages, and it feels like lingerie to me.
Mm.
Sad.
Happy! [beeping.]
[glass clanks.]
Dooley framed Santa with his own Scotch.
[Nate.]
It's a wonder there's any shoppers at all.
You got obstructed sight lines.
The signage is at the wrong height.
And you've got, uh, you know, you got the the bad element, uh, you know, chasing out the good.
What can I do? Twin Pines took all my customers.
OK, well, what if I were to tell you that my methods would get more shoppers to open up their wallets, huh? Hm? Not too late to make a killing on Christmas Eve.
You know what? I'm really not interested, OK? But why don't you check out the sales at Talarico? Denim jackets are half off.
Think about it.
Eben Dooley, Jr.
, inherited the Regency Square Mall three years ago after his father passed, and has since nearly run it into the ground.
According to his computer files, he [* Jingle Bells .]
Turn that off! - Parker! - [shuts off music.]
What? As I was saying, according to his computer files, he's been inflating income.
And the reality is, the mall's on the verge of bankruptcy.
Well, that would explain the anti-anxiety meds.
Oh, I'd pop pills, too, if I had his gamblin' debts.
- Parker.
Is that the Lion of Gilgamesh? - Mm-hmm.
Stole it in Dubai in '05.
I think it looks nice next to the Star Sapphire - I took from the Prado.
- Oh, careful! You've got, like, millions of dollars worth of loot on that tree.
Happy birthday, Jesus.
[Hardison.]
Hey, guys, check this out.
Eben's on a flight on Christmas Eve to San Lorenzo.
And those Santas? Ex-cons.
See, the, uh, facial recognition, it focuses on the eyes.
Thought they could fool me with those fake beards.
Sad.
You kiddin' me? Yeah, yeah, it's an insurance scam.
He's desperate for money, so he fires the old Santas.
He hires these goons to rob the mall.
And by fleeing to San Lorenzo, he's got an alibi.
If we can take Dooley down, we can prove he framed Santa.
Yeah.
Sophie, you don't let Dooley get on that plane.
And, uh, we're gonna need somebody inside the mall.
I'm already on it.
Hacking into the mall's employee database as we speak.
[whispers.]
Stop it.
[toddler whimpering.]
[Nate.]
Hey, Eliot, you in the spirit yet? Ho, ho, ho.
What do ya want for Christmas, kid? You're not really Santa.
Is that a real beard? - Hey, don't.
- [camera clicks.]
You smell like my stepdad after he plays basketball.
Why is the North Pole over here this year? It's usually on the other side by the pretzel stand.
They'll put frosting on your pretzels if you ask.
All right, look, man, frosting's gonna give you cavities, OK? - Happy holidays.
- Wait, I want a Rubbery Robby! You'll get a Sammy Spankin' you don't get off my lap.
[in high voice.]
Don't worry, Santa just hasn't had his morning nog yet.
[whispers.]
You're Santa! Respect the suit! Parker, this beard is itchy, all right? And somebody peed on my lap earlier.
And everybody wants a Rub Me Robby.
Rubbery Robby! It's a toy.
- [grunts.]
This is the worst job ever.
- This is the best job ever.
Oh, this is easily one of my favorite missions.
Nate, I don't understand why couldn't you play Santa.
Well, you know, Dooley's seen me, first of all, and, secondly, you just fit in better with the other Santas.
- Really? You're the ex-con.
- Yeah, but you're just so jolly.
[whispers.]
Jolly.
[laughs.]
Hardison, I'm gonna I got a lump of coal with your name on it.
OK, Sophie, have you made contact with Dooley yet? On our way to the car now.
[Sophie.]
Wow.
This guy's right on the edge.
I could really do a number on him.
- Get up.
- [Nate.]
All right, make sure he doesn't get on that plane.
And listen, if you can spook him into calling an audible, go to town.
[on radio.]
* Deck the halls with boughs of holly * Hardison, here's the real driver.
* 'Tis the season to be jolly * Fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la * * Don we now our gay apparel * Fa-la-la la-la-la la-la-la * * See the blazing Yule before us * * Fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la * * Zap the car with EMP * Fa-la-la-la-boom * [music stops.]
- [car sputters.]
- [driver.]
What's with the power? [chuckles.]
- [chuckles.]
- All right.
Why isn't this working? C'mon.
[alarm chirps.]
Hey, come on! Hey, hey! C'mon! What? [Sophie.]
Christmas in the tropics, eh? That's no fun.
- I'd rather be there than here.
- Oh, not me.
It's not the holidays without a chill in the air.
Got my whole family coming over from Slough.
So many details.
So many last-minute preparations.
Is everything ready, hm? - Yeah.
- Is my goose cooked? Is there enough plum pudding for everyone? Don't wanna get caught, not for getting someone a present.
No, no, no, no, no.
That'd be a crime.
[sighs.]
- Excuse me.
- [speed dials.]
Hi.
Yeah, it's me.
Uh, could you run through it one more time, please? Well, because I want to know that everything is ready! - You tracking this? - [Hardison.]
No, the signal's encrypted.
For a bunch of Santas, they have some damn good tech.
[indistinct chatter.]
Nate, these guys aren't talkin' on their phones.
Maybe Dooley's workin' with somebody else.
Don't tell me to calm down! All right, I am the one who [sighs.]
I'm the one who's putting himself on the line.
OK.
[sniffs.]
All right.
Excuse me, miss, uh, could you hurry? I really need to make my flight.
You're the boss.
[bell dings.]
Oh, uh, excuse me, miss? There's something wrong with the Hey! What's happening? Hey! Hey! Flight's delayed.
- Hey.
- What's up? - 'Sup.
- 'Sup with him? - You know that guy? - Nah.
- Where'd you come from? - [sniffs.]
- And don't say the North Pole.
- Relax.
I'm on the team.
Dooley brought me in.
A little extra help for the job tonight.
- Good.
We could use the extra muscle.
- Where do you want me? Front and center.
Ho, ho, ho.
Give to the needy.
'Tis the season.
Oh, Eliot, c'mon.
You're not gonna get any donations like that.
Put some heart into it.
I don't understand why I can't just take these guys out, all right? I took down a Uruguayan death squad with nothing but piano wire and a br What? Santa stuff, man.
You got any money? Get the hell on.
[Nate.]
Listen, there'll be plenty of clobberin' time once the job begins.
Now, we just have a couple hours before the mall closes, so relax.
I'll bring you a pretzel.
[man chuckles.]
I I have to catch my flight.
Oh, you're not going anywhere, I'm afraid.
Not in your condition.
No, you don't understand, I have to get out of town.
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Calm down.
Do you know how lucky you are? The universe must have a plan for you.
No, not me.
I am beyond saving.
[clicks tongue.]
No one's beyond saving, Mr.
Dooley.
Not at Christmastime.
[groans.]
More morphine.
[groans.]
More drugs.
Santa.
Why don't ya help out the needy, man? I got a quota to fill here.
Yeah, ho, ho, ho.
- How ya doin'? Merry Christmas.
- Yeah.
- They got credit cards for those things now? - I don't know, man.
- I guess it's more convenient these days.
- [Hardison laughs.]
- I gotta get a picture of this.
- [Eliot.]
Damn the jokes, man.
I will knock you out with this bell, man.
I'm serious.
- Come on, you - [beeping.]
Hey.
Hey, man, this thing's got an RFID antenna.
Radio frequency ID.
Maybe to prevent shoplifting.
Or not.
[Parker.]
Guys, those are at every exit.
Do you think they're connected to the robbery? - [beeping.]
- Not a physical robbery.
- There you go.
Merry Christmas.
- Thank you.
It's virtual.
So you're sayin' this thing's bigger than we thought? Guys, this whole mall is a identity sponge.
Between the kettle and the RFID readers, Dooley's collecting thousands of credit and debit numbers through the holiday season.
Yeah, Christmas Eve is the peak time for credit card activity.
These companies' defenses, they're overwhelmed by all the last-minute transactions.
And the systems, they're up all night tryin' to process the backlog.
- [Nate.]
Sure.
- So fraudulent charges aren't gonna flag.
Yeah, but credit cardholders are only liable for, what, 50 bucks of fraud? - Well, per incident.
- Yeah.
If there's hundreds of incidents and hundreds of transactions on every card When the stores close tonight, Dooley and his team are gonna rip off millions of dollars and no one'll even notice.
He's stealing Christmas.
[slurring.]
I was just trying to stay afloat.
What am I supposed to do? So much debt.
- Credit-card fraud? - Sophie, find out how Dooley's pullin' the trigger.
- He's gotta be working with a hacker.
- He's right on the edge.
I think I can turn him, get him to call the whole thing off.
Well, hurry up.
We might be too late already.
[dials, line rings.]
Hello? How quickly can you get to Boston Common Hospital? [Dooley moans.]
[echoing.]
Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho! Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho! - Santa? - Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho! [chuckles.]
Well If it isn't Ebenezer Dooley! [chuckles.]
Taken a little tumble, have we? - What are you doing here? - Children in hospitals need toys, too.
You look like you could use a, uh, Rubbery Robby doll.
I fired you.
Why would you be kind to me? Oh, Santa doesn't hold grudges.
But there is something I want to talk to you about.
Credit card fraud, Eben? On Christmas Eve? [clicks tongue.]
- [Sophie clicks tongue.]
- What? What are y? How do you know? Santa knows everything.
He's got a list.
OK, what are you? What? - Are you the real Santa? - [chuckles.]
- You know? - [presses button.]
- You know what I did? - Ho, ho, ho.
I wanna I wanna be nice, Santa.
I don't wanna be naughty.
Well, then you know what you have to do.
Call off your hacker, and Santa will pretend this never happened.
Here.
[moans.]
[phone rings.]
That's him now! Hey.
I Yeah, I want you to stop.
Turn it off.
I don't wanna go through Hm? I don't [sighs.]
He wants to talk to Sophie Devereaux.
Who is this? Hello, Sophie.
It's the Grinch who stole Christmas.
- Chaos? - Long time, no try to kill you.
Now, this here's Colin Mason, otherwise known by his hacker handle as Chaos.
There's no way I'm gonna try to out-con Sophie Devereaux! - [Chaos.]
Hello, Sophie.
- Chaos.
I take it that, via your comms, I'm talking to the entire Justice League? Hello, Chaos.
I thought we left you rotting in a federal prison.
Oh, c'mon, those things are made to be broken out of.
You of all people know that.
Especially one that runs its security off an unencrypted operating system.
Am I right, Hardison? Oh, and, uh, Parker? You look yummy in that elf costume.
Nate, the Santas.
Come on.
They're gone.
[Chaos imitating Eliot.]
Hey, guys, their cocoa's still warm.
They can't be far y'all.
Damn it, Hardison.
Don't bother tryin' to chase us.
All the pieces are in place for my credit card catastrophe.
And there is nothing that you, or that waste of painkillers Eben Dooley, can do about it.
Oh, and Hardison? This is a nice gun.
Maybe if I'm a good boy, Santa will bring me one.
[zapping.]
Oh, Lucille Two! Ho, ho, ho! C'mon, man! What'd he set the EMP on? Toast? He killed her, Nate.
I hate him.
I hate him.
She was a good van.
[sighs.]
We'll get you another.
Santa is so angry.
[Nate.]
How's he gonna pull this off? OK, look, his network is piggybacking off of the city's trunk line, its Internet backbone.
Uh, Eliot, you can rip all you want, man, but you're not shuttin' Chaos down from here.
- [beeping.]
- [Parker.]
What? - He's pulled the trigger.
- Then every second that we delay, innocent people are getting scammed.
- So the only way to turn Chaos off - Is to turn off the trunk line.
- Which is housed at - [beeping.]
- The Yakamoto building.
- Hardison, that's a major operation on a military-grade facility.
I can call my sources, man.
I need a I need a week of plannin', new equipment All right, Sophie, meet us at the Yakamoto building downtown.
We're gonna pull an Edward Albee.
[car approaches, crashes.]
- [Nate.]
Get her away from Stop it! - Are you folks OK? [Nate.]
Yeah, yeah.
No, I veered - This is a restricted area.
- I had a little too much eggnog.
- I mighta hit your building.
- It's all right, but you - Keep her away from me! - You know who lives in a red brick building? My sister! [screaming.]
[Parker laughing.]
- Fifth floor! [chuckles.]
- You know what? That was not on my bucket list, OK? Oh, c'mon.
Do you know how many chimneys Santa has to go down tonight? You only had to go down one.
- Meow, meow, meow, meow.
- Calm down.
Hold on a second.
[Sophie.]
Do you have sisters? Every five minutes, sneaking - [overlapping chatter.]
- [Sophie.]
Every chance he gets, I say, he's over at my sister's.
[pants.]
You know, when this is over, we gonna have us a long talk.
OK, server room is that way.
- [grunts, groans.]
- Merry Christmas, buddy.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas! - I love you, baby.
- I love you, too.
- I'm sorry.
- Ah, it's OK.
My sister, she's not even cute.
- I don't even like her.
- No.
[computer beeping.]
[beeping.]
Sorry, bud.
Get some overtime.
Server room alarm is off.
- [beeping.]
- [door unlocks.]
Don't touch anything.
[beeping.]
Nate, man, this is like trying to plug a fire hose with a pebble.
Hardison, are you saying you can't do it? When have I ever said that, ever? He's in.
- You're in, right? - Yeah.
Just have to find the sector with the mall, so we don't shut down the whole city.
All right, Chaos.
This is for Lucille Two.
Oh, you can keep knockin', but you ain't comin' in.
Yeah, OK.
We should probably Shall we? Yeah, shall.
[Sophie.]
Well, people, not bad, huh? For, like, what was it? Eight minutes of planning? [chuckles.]
I feel bad I had to take out the guard, though.
I left him a candy cane.
[Parker.]
Oh, that's all right.
I feel like caroling.
Is it too late for caroling? - [Sophie.]
Of course not.
- Hey, man.
- [Sophie.]
It's still Christmas Eve.
- What's the matter? Come on, we did just take down one of the most secure facilities in town.
- Boom, don't leave me hanging.
- Every law enforcement agency - is descending on the Yakamoto right now.
- Come on.
Why would the Treasury Department be sending a car? I mean, why would they be interested in some neighborhood losing their Internet access? [Hardison.]
I don't know.
Uh, trunk lines can't be hacked.
The government could use them for a security application.
- Theoretically.
- Call up the mall.
[Nate.]
Now, when you shut off the lines to the mall, you also shut off the depository.
Yeah, that's it right there.
OK, guys.
[sighs.]
We just got played.
[Chaos.]
Gentlemen, the Federal Bank Depository is ours.
'Tis the season to be jolly.
How do you not think to ask your sources what else is on that trunk line? How come you didn't figure out Chaos was after the bank, man? - I thought all you dorks thought alike.
- I did my job, man! - You wanna see me do mine? - Your job is to deliver magic and joy - to little boys and girls.
- Wow, I thought Christmas at Aunt Emily's was humiliating.
[Eliot.]
All I'm You gotta check every, every avenue! - I did check every avenue! - Enough! We all did our jobs.
Everyone except me.
[Nate.]
Now, Chaos, he manipulated us because we're the best.
Now, my job is to see two steps ahead.
I should've realized that this credit card scam was a setup.
I didn't.
[sighs.]
This way.
[Santa.]
Nate Ford's crew really came through for us.
I knew they would.
All I had to do was set up the dominos.
Then my mesh network maxes out the credit cards, and the cash rolls in.
Is the answer to your prayers.
[sighs.]
Tell me again about the money.
[grunting.]
He can't treat you like this.
I know somebody who can help.
Ask for Nate Ford.
He's very dependable, that Nate Ford.
[stammers.]
I didn't take this job seriously.
I don't know.
I just, um, I led us right into Chaos' trap.
- We were all thrown.
- [Nate sighs.]
Yes, but it's my job not to be.
I'm sorry.
[Sophie.]
You're what? Christmas Eve is a magical night.
- You just ruined it.
- [Nate sighs.]
OK, the plan is to figure out the plan in the car.
Hold up! We're good to go! Now, fellas, don't get greedy.
Only take the first 50 million.
[saw revving.]
[Nate.]
Any visual on Chaos? No sign of entry, no roof access.
They must have gone in underneath.
No.
Tunneling's too risky.
Woulda taken months.
Unless the tunnel was already there.
Back in the '60s, the pedestrian tunnels were sort of the wave of the future.
The Mob made a fortune on the contracts until the state shut them down.
And you got this from your days in insurance? Uh, no.
My dad's pals.
They used to joke about going to live in the tunnels when their wives kicked them out.
So how do we get in? Why is the North Pole over here this year? It's usually on the other side by the pretzel stand.
- The North Pole.
- What? Their entrance is under the North Pole.
Let's go.
All right, you guys, let's go.
'Tis the season to move your asses! OK, let's all line up at the North Pole.
Santa's got presents for everybody! - Dooley? - Hey, driver lady! And pushy consultant guy! You're just in time.
Hey, pull up the beard, son.
Respect the suit.
- Told ya.
- What's goin' on, Frank? [chuckles.]
The Toys for Tykes drive is back on, thanks to Mr.
Dooley.
Yeah.
It's still Christmas Eve, and I said to Santa, it's not too late to make those kids' dreams come true! - [laughs.]
- Drove a bus to the family shelter and loaded everyone up.
At first I thought it was the pills, [chuckles.]
but now I think he's really changed.
Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho! Eliot, go meet Chaos in the tunnels.
The rest of you got some last-minute shopping to do.
Well, if it isn't Kristina Kringle.
Chaos.
- You killed my friend's van.
- Oh, yeah, I wrecked that van.
- Take him out, guys.
Meet me at the garage.
- All right.
We doin' this beards or without beards, boys? [grunting.]
[Eliot.]
Santa's comin' to town.
Yes, I'm calling about the attack on the trunk lines.
[grunting.]
Eliot, what's happening? - [grunts.]
- [steam hissing.]
Let's go! [Nate.]
Eliot! [Nate.]
Eliot, what's happening? Eliot? Nate, they're headed back to the mall.
OK, I'll take it from here.
Hurry up! Chaos is waiting.
Come on.
Gimme your bag.
- [children.]
Santa! - [all shouting.]
[Santa.]
Ho, ho, ho [Dooley.]
All right! That's right, kids! The Santas have brought toys for everybody.
- [Santas.]
Ho, ho, ho! - [sirens wail.]
Boys.
Come on, spread the holiday cheer! Now, you heard the elf.
[chuckles.]
- You can't make me.
- No.
[chuckles.]
But they can.
- Hey, hey, kids! - [all shouting.]
- [Dooley.]
Go on, kids.
Dig in.
- Where's the money? - What's that? - What is this stuff? - This is crazy! - This is a doll, man! What happened to the money? [grunting.]
Let's go! What happened to the money? [Santa.]
Ho, ho, ho! Special Agent Hagen.
You must've gotten my handler's call.
Deep cover.
You're gonna find the stolen cash under the tunnel.
There you go.
Come on.
Everyone gets one.
Hand 'em out, Santas.
Pass it out, pass it out.
- [laughs.]
What did you get? What did you get? - Wait.
Wait for the kids to leave.
We don't wanna ruin Christmas.
[Santa laughing.]
C'mon.
Here you go.
- [Dooley.]
C'mon, kids.
Open 'em up.
Don't be shy.
- Thanks, Santa! Ho, ho, ho! Ah, Santa, how're we gonna top this next year, huh? Do you mean I have my job back? I think this mall could use a Santa year round.
[laughs.]
You are high on the holiday spirit! Yes, I am! And pills mixed with morphine.
I can't believe you let me drive here.
So are you mean or not? Sh.
Don't tell anybody.
Sorry, Santas.
But the Grinch has a plane to catch.
- Whassup, Mason.
- Oh, come on.
[grunts.]
[beeping.]
- [beeping.]
- [sighs.]
You got it? Hey, you be careful with him, all right? I mean, he looks harmless, pathetic even, weak chin, pale complexion, but, uh, I assure you he's dangerous.
You have to admit, it was a good plan.
Yeah.
But there's one thing you didn't count on.
- Oh, no! - You forgot about the true meaning - Don't you say it! - of Christmas.
- That barely applies here! - Let's go! - Come on.
- Ho, ho, ho.
[Hardison.]
Hey, pardon my language on Christmas, - but, uh, we kicked Chaos' ass.
- Yes, we did.
Here's to that.
Yes.
Hey, so when are you gonna take that off? It's the whole The Santa beard didn't do it for me.
- Wow.
- Hey, listen.
This being Christmas Eve and all, um, Sophie and I, we thought Well, me, mostly.
Sophie definitely helped.
Uh, we thought And, by the way, there's no need to reciprocate, mind you.
- It's But we thought that - We got you presents.
- [gasps.]
- Yeah.
- You bought us gifts? - Well, I wouldn't say bought exactly.
- We, um obtained.
- Yeah.
So, Eliot, you're first.
- It's a Hanzo sword.
- Yeah.
How'd Who'd - Who did you talk? - Well, I know a guy who knows a guy who knows a samurai.
Hardison? No, this can't be.
It is.
It's Prototype Seven.
They haven't even released Version Five yet.
I - I won't tell if you won't.
- You better believe it.
[chuckles.]
- Don't torture her.
- OK, all right, Parker, you're next.
Put your hands out.
[gasps.]
How did you know? Non-sequential serial numbers? My favorite.
[sniffs.]
- [Eliot grunting.]
- Oh! [phone beeping.]
[sniffing.]
You know, I got something for you, too.
- Oh, you shouldn't have.
- Yeah, you're right Give it to me, quick.
[clears throat.]
There we are.
[Sophie.]
"Your Name Here.
" Yeah, uh, you don't have to give me anything.
In fact, I'd prefer if you didn't.
I'm very hard to shop for, so - Sh, sh, sh - I, uh I'm gonna give you something.
There's something for you.
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.