Lovejoy (1986) s03e14 Episode Script
The Prague Sun (Christmas Special)
(Plane roars overhead) (Brakes screech) - (Explosion) - (Smash) (Coughing and groaning) (Engine running) (Lovejoy) Every Christmas, it was the tradition of the Felshams to distribute largesse among the deserving poor.
(Jane laughs) Oh, Lovejoy, do shut up.
(Lovejoy) Her Ladyship frowned, as this year she would have to take the burden on her own slender shoulders.
What a relief (He toots) that trusty Lovejoy would be there, and yet she wondered why when she thought of him of late it brought such a girlish flush to her cheeks.
(Snorts) Actually, I do have an enormous favor to ask you.
Just say the word, Your Ladyship.
(Squeals) Lovejoy, get off! - Of course that's some time after breakfast.
- (Chuckles) Oh, um over there in the corner, if you wouldn't mind.
We'll be having carols at ten as usual, so we'll expect Father Christmas at eleven.
Oh, fine.
Well, Lovejoy's kindly volunteered.
Oh, thank you, Lovejoy.
Over here.
I thought I'd step into Alexander's shoes, not his beard.
Hope he's had it dry-cleaned.
Oh, why not, anyway? There's bound to be dinner afterwards at Felsham Hall.
Blazing log fire in the grate.
The agonizing choice of which claret to plunder from the cellar.
And later, shoes kicked off, lying on the hearth rug, dogs banished to the kitchen, the last of the chocolate liqueurs melting on her lips.
Oh, yes, very fair trade-off for a few ho-ho-ho's, hm? Lovejoy? Just practicing, Janie.
Ho-ho-ho! Ho-ho-ho! - (Czech accent) I'm lost.
- Be all new to you, this.
Went up in the '50s.
(Radio) Neil.
Found the house you're looking for.
(Tuts) Hm.
(Whispers) It's that gorgeous chair, Tink.
Lovely splat.
Moore the younger, almost certainly.
Oh, yeah.
He'll be back if he sees us bidding for it, though.
Perhaps Dotty'd do us the honors.
Dotty! (Chuckles) - Hello.
- Hello, love.
Oh, I think I've been terribly foolish, Lovejoy.
Not with that fellow on the Suzuki that does your French polishing? (Chuckles) No such luck, dear, no.
No, I've bought these and I don't think I should have.
- I tend to buy the things I like, you see.
- Nothing wrong with that.
- No.
How much did you pay for 'em? - 200.
- You did well.
- Did I? Yeah, people tend to overlook gloves.
Listen, Dotty, um we'll stake you.
We want you to bid for lot 132.
You can go up to £2,500.
- Ooh, how exciting! - Yeah.
And while you're doing that, I'll take these off your hands, so to speak.
I'll get you more for these than you paid for the whole set.
- Are they special? - "A".
Alexandra.
Princess of Wales, Dotty.
But they're the ones I particularly like.
- (Birdsong) - (Crows caw) (Bicycle bell) (Bicycle bell) - (Doorbell) - (Computer game beeping) Can I help you? (Czech accent) I know this house.
I I was here many years ago.
- (Computer game explosions) - Really? The family name was Bainbridge.
No.
We bought it from some people called Garrett.
They went to live in France.
He wrote a tedious book about their experience and made an absolute fortune.
There was an oak tree there, I think.
Oh, yes, you're quite right, there was.
We lost it in the hurricane.
- You have hurricanes in England? - Not very often.
- But we had one a few years ago.
- Oh.
(Child giggling inside) Would you like to use the phone or something? (Lovejoy) One thousand.
Fifteen hundred.
- Two thousand.
- You're going to keep it? Oh, no, darling.
Unlike you, I can't afford to get attached to my antiques.
Tomorrow that will be in Ipswich with a man called Bowles.
Yes, I suppose the reason I don't do terribly well is cos there are things in here I can't bear to part with.
(Sighs) There you go.
- Well, if you ever think of parting with this - (Clock chiming) let me know, will you? - Only if you keep it yourself.
Don't want it ending up in Ipswich with a man called Bowles.
- (Both chuckle) - (Shop bell) Can I help you? - Dorothy.
- Yes? It's me.
Marek.
Marek? It It can't be.
But it is.
- I think I need to sit down.
- Oh, no.
I think you'd be more comfortable over here, love.
You You all right, Dotty? - It must be - Fifty years.
(Sighs) I thought you were dead.
Not yet.
Yeah, well, um Yeah.
- Here's the money, Dotty.
- Yeah.
Yeah, thank you, Lovejoy.
Excuse me.
(Shop bell) Marek.
I'm sorry if I give you a fright.
What happened to your poor face? - (Door slams) - (Vehicle starts) If you're expecting to be fed, you're out of luck.
Never entered my mind.
I think we should nip out for a sandwich.
- Hm.
I'm having lunch at Pru's.
- Oh, she likes me, your sister.
- No, she doesn't.
- Yes, she does.
(Sighs) Well, maybe she does, but you are not invited.
You spend a lot of time with your sister recently, Janie.
She's been very supportive since Alexander In fact, she well, she and Miles want me to spend Christmas with them.
They think a change of scene would do me good.
They only live 35 miles away.
No, they want me to go skiing with them and some other people.
Hold on a minute, Janie.
I thought we were gonna spend Christmas together here, after you'd done your Mother Teresa bit around the village.
Yes, I I know I mentioned that, but, well, you know what it's like, Lovejoy.
Well, this time of year and all.
No.
No, I don't know what it's like.
I'd just like to hear about these these other plans and these other people.
Um well, there's the Tennisons, Miles's partner, - Gail and Francesco, if they're getting on - Miles's partner? Johnny Brinton-Taylor.
I don't think you've met.
No.
No, no.
How come I'm only hearing about this now, Janie? Well, they need my decision today.
I think you've already made your decision, haven't you? In fact, I think that you're off down the slopes with Johnny Brinton-Taylor.
- Or do they call him Johnno? - There'll be a whole bunch of us.
Oh, bull, Janie.
I can tell by your voice.
In fact, I can tell by the way that you can't look me in the eye.
- Can you? Hm? Hm? - (Sighs) Janie! Janie, I can understand in your present semi-detached condition that you might need an impulsive meaningless relationship.
I just think it should be with me.
(Sighs) Lovejoy.
Sleeping with you is not the answer to everything.
(Sighs) Mm! (Sounds horn) - What are you doing, Eric? - Well, I put 'em up.
I can tear 'em down.
- Why? - Do you remember that Wendy? Wendy? Wendy? Oh, yes, the drummer with the tattoos.
Well, I did everything for her, flyposting, leaflets humped her bloody amp from gig to gig, fixed the heater on the van, and now she's given me the heave-ho just when they're getting big! - Big? - They're doing Felixstowe on Thursday night! - That big.
- I know.
It's incredible.
Yeah.
Yeah, I know how you feel, Eric.
I've lost a lady.
You've lost a tramp.
(Chatter and laughter) (Irish accent) Ooh, you're a good man, Tink.
Have you seen the time? - Huh? Oh, yeah, I know we're late.
- Oh, I don't mean that.
Don't you miss it? "Time, gentlemen, please.
" I'd have thought you'd have liked the pubs being open all day.
Not at all.
Half of the charm of drinking was knowing you had only so much time to do it in.
Permissive licensing laws have robbed one of that delicious moment of remorse and poignancy when one was torn from conversation and conviviality and hurled into the street.
Tink? Who's the old boy with Dotty, hm? I sort of met him yesterday.
Polish, by the sound of him, isn't he? He's Czech.
He came over here during the war.
She's his fiancée.
Mm.
They got engaged in 1942.
Ah.
Yeah, and I suppose she didn't wait for him.
That's typical of women, that is.
So that's what happened.
That's what happened.
Park your bum, dear, and meet Marek.
- Marek, this is my good friend Lovejoy.
- Hello.
Congratulations.
Tinker just told me.
Have you two named a date? I didn't know how to tell him I'd been married since I last saw him.
But apparently so has he.
- (Chuckles) Brooklyn boys, they call us.
- The old Air Force lads.
- I was sergeant.
Tailgunner in Lancasters.
- He was shot down, poor dear.
After the war, they sent him back to Czecho so I never got any of his letters.
And what brings you back to England now, Marek? Because I am allowed.
Under communism, not possible.
And I promise myself one day I will return and the Prague Sun will shine again.
(Hammering and tapping) (Tapping and scraping) (Tapping) (Crows caw) (Birds cooing) (Grunts) (Clink) (Grunts) (Clink) (Tap) (Lighter flares) (Clicks lighter shut) (Speaks Czech) (Speaks Czech) (Speaks Czech) (Marek screams) (Knocking at door) (Knocking continues) - (Shop bell) - Lovejoy! Did a better deal than I thought in Ipswich.
Your commission.
I hoped you were Marek.
- Something wrong? - He said he'd be back by 6, and it's after 8.
I loaned him my van so that he could go round the countryside, visit all his old haunts.
- Maybe he's got a fiancée in the next parish.
- I do hope he hasn't had an accident.
Find him for me, Lovejoy, there's a dear.
All right, Dotty.
Now, where d'you think he might have gone? (Rock music) (Switches stations) ( "Good King Wenceslaus"plays) (Man on radio) From Shirley Bassey, I Who Have Nothing) (Bagpipes play "Deck The Halls") (Radio off) (Starts engine) I'm heading towards Thaxted.
- Why? - Dotty's lost her Czech.
I thought we paid her cash.
Her aviator.
I'll drop you at home if you like.
No point.
She's not going to phone.
- Who? - Wendy.
- Oh, the tramp.
- Yeah.
Nah.
So what was a Czech doing in the Royal Air Force? A lot of them were in it then.
Czechs, Poles, Dutch.
The ones that got away from the Nazis.
That's what I'd have been in, you know, if I'd been in the war.
The Air Force.
Crossing the Channel on a misty morning.
Drop a few bombs.
Yeowww! Pkshh! Pkshh! Pkshh! And then back to mess for bacon and eggs and a sing-song.
And then one morning you don't come back, and there's your faithful black Labrador whining at the foot of your bed.
Yeah.
(Eric) Hey! That's the turning! (Brakes screech) (Sighs) Eric, if you'd been navigating, none of us would have come back.
(Owl hoots) - (Doors slamming) - (Lovejoy) Bring that torch, Eric.
- (Footsteps) - (Eric) Is that Dotty's van? (Lovejoy) Yeah.
(Creaks) - (Squeaking) - It's a rat.
- I hate bloody rats.
- Now just All right.
(Squeaking) What Well, he's alive.
- What do you reckon? Heart attack? - Huh! Some kind of attack.
Eric, go and get an ambulance.
Go on.
(Monitor beeping) (Low voices) Oh, ta.
They won't let me talk to him.
What d'you think? Slipped and cracked his head? No, he was lying on his face.
Someone whacked him.
(Sighs) Can you believe it, eh? The bloke fights for this country in the war, comes back after all this time and gets boshed by a yobbo.
What must he think of England now, eh? (Monitor beeping) My husband was in intensive care.
It's so frightening.
All those lights blinking.
You're terrified they'll suddenly go out.
(Sighs) Yeah, well, he's unconscious but at least he's stable.
Oh, how frightful.
Dotty? - This you? - (Chuckles) Yes, with him.
He was very handsome.
- Do you mind? - No, of course not.
My parents didn't approve.
I thought it was because he was foreign, but I think now it must've been because they were just boys.
- Hm.
So few of them came back.
- (Clock chimes) Ooh, I found something else.
Here, look.
My engagement ring.
Marek gave it to me all those years ago.
(Whistles) Daddy said, "At least he isn't an American.
" (Snorts) (Lovejoy) It's quite a diamond for a lad on a sergeant's pay.
(Sighs) (Sniffs) (Sighs) (Clonks) Oh! Dennis, please.
What are you doing here, Lovejoy? Oh, I think I might have lost my address book here last night.
Did one of your lot find it? If they did, they're probably ringing some of your lady friends by now.
What are you doing here anyway? Got to lock the place up.
If the old boy croaks, it's murder, isn't it? - Is he any better? - Nah.
He wasn't robbed.
Still had his wallet and quite a bit of cash.
- Yeah? - Maybe somebody from the past.
Reckon he had enemies? Only the Luftwaffe.
Dandy has taken a look at your diamonds, and you're right.
They're rose cut with very few facets.
He thinks the same period.
Quite old.
Probably seventeenth century.
They may even be part of something like a bracelet or a brooch.
There's more of them.
I'm sure of it, Tink.
Marek stashed these in the church and they've been sleeping there since the war.
But someone found out what he was up to.
- Have you shared this with the constabulary? - Mm-mm, not yet.
I wanted to hear Marek's story first.
- If he lives to tell it.
- Yeah.
(Beeping) (Phone ringing) (Ringing stops) (Czech accent) Who are you? - I'm Lovejoy.
Who are you? - I'm his daughter.
(Music and chatter) I'm afraid this is all they had to eat.
I'm not hungry.
- I'm sure Eric'll find you a decent hotel.
- I have not got much money.
Maybe you'll stay with this friend of mine.
She's got a big house.
I told my father not to come! He's too old.
He's not strong.
I'm sorry, but it makes me angry and I worry for him.
What does your father do? He was a lawyer, but, er he speak with his heart.
For many years he's in prison.
After, he work in library.
His life was a disappointment.
But he is happy I'm a painter.
- Oh, you're an artist.
- Yes.
That is why I have no money.
Mm, I know what you mean.
Right, I've booked her in at the Ship.
Oh, G&T, rum and Coke and a cognac.
Did my father tell you why he came here? He said something about the Prague Sun shining again.
I thought the sun started to shine again when they kicked out the communists.
(Jane) She's rather attractive.
(Lovejoy) Very.
(Jane) If you like that sort of urchin look.
Dirty fingernails, that kind of thing.
She's not got dirty fingernails, Janie.
She's an artist.
She was probably at her palette when she got the call to come here.
Burnt umber.
(Sighs) Oh, look.
Now, there are some things I must tell you before I leave.
Ah.
This is for you.
Early present? - Open it.
- Hm.
Now, have I got everything? - Right.
Passport.
- Janie.
- You shouldn't have.
- The children will love you.
And Matron asked if you'd be awfully kind and do the staff party on Christmas Eve as well.
- These are the toys.
- Hm.
- They only need wrapping.
- Wrapping? Emma Breese has a whole lot more over at Much Haddam.
- Has Emma wrapped hers? - She's been rushed off her feet.
- (Thump) - Oh, Lovejoy, it's only once a year.
Just think of the children's faces.
I can't believe you've lumbered me with this while you're off to the slope with Johnno.
Had a few practice runs down the old stairs, have we? Oh! Well, at least you could say, "I hope you have a nice time.
" I hope you have a nice time! Bit chilly out there, eh? - There's some coffee in the drawing room.
- Oh, thank you.
How long do you suppose she's going to stay? Hard to tell.
Mrs.
Cameron's going to Edinburgh.
Well, I've got all this wrapping to do, haven't I? Still, Marina can help me.
Hm.
And Tinker.
- (Clunk) - And Eric.
(Monitor beeping) (Music soundtrack drowns speech) (Whirring) (Chatter) - How is he? - The doctor says he must sleep.
They give him, um you know.
- He say anything? - He want me to go home.
He says I must warn Axel.
- Who's Axel? - They were students together.
My father think he is dead, then two months ago he appeared back in his life.
But warn Axel about what? The man who attacked my father.
(Sighs) What do I do? (Classical music plays) I have chosen this wine with great care.
It's not our cellar, after all.
I have tried to tread that delicate path between gratuitous indulgence and self-denial.
(Door shuts) (Sighs) Well, then.
(Lovejoy and Tinker sigh contentedly) Well, then! (Smacks lips) Mm! Well, what? Found something out, haven't I? Where's Marina? Resting.
It's very good, Tink.
- What have you found out? - The Prague Sun.
I know what old Marek was on about.
- Well, what was he on about? - I wouldn't mind a glass of that plonk meself.
Well, I went into Cambridge, didn't I? Took a look round all the bookshops.
(Sighs) And? And the Prague Sun is a monstrance.
- And what is a monstrance, Eric? - Well, I haven't got to that bit yet.
A rather Romish term used in Holy Communion.
The Host is placed in it and it's displayed to the congregation for its adoration.
Yeah, right.
(Gulps) Ooh.
Anyway, the point is this one is made from diamonds.
"The 6,000 stones in the diamond monstrance were originally part of a wedding dress.
"When the bride died in 1695, she left her entire fortune to the Loreto Shrine.
" - I bet her husband was pissed off.
- He should have had a prenuptial agreement.
"The jewelers unpicked the diamonds and reassembled them into the monstrance - "also known as the Prague Sun.
" - The Prague Sun.
"This now forms the centerpiece of a display of monstrances "at the Loreto Museum in Prague.
" Now look over the page.
(Lovejoy whistles) "Some diamonds were used to pay the court jewelers "but the fate of the others remain a mystery.
" Wow.
Your friend, Tink, said the diamond I found in the church was what, was 17th century, hm? Lovejoy, you've got that look.
No, no, no, no, all I'm thinking, Tink, is if someone was prepared to kill the old man for the diamonds, then Marina's not safe.
Well, of course she isn't, and we've got to look after her.
- Eh? We? We? - Especially if she goes home.
If you're going to Prague, I'm going and all.
I found out about it all.
Gentlemen, Prague is not on our patch.
It's beyond the three-mile limit, that sort of thing.
Now, don't let a whiff of buried treasure and a pretty ankle turn your heads.
(Sighs) (Tuts) Oh (Chatter) (Bell tolling) You may have heard of the word defenestration.
It means the forcible expulsion of a person through a window.
We are famous for this in Prague.
We had four in our history.
The last was in 1948 from a window up there in the Prague Castle.
Poor Mr.
Masaryk.
The communists had a reason to kill him.
But on the other hand, he was a manic-depressive so who knows? (Sighs and sniffs) You can't blame me, can you? I've never been to Prague before.
And it is one of the great unspoiled cities in Central Europe.
Notice I said Central not Eastern Europe.
The, um Czechs are a bit funny about that.
They think of Eastern Europeans as turnip heads, don't they, Eric? - Eh? - Never mind.
Prague is a magical mixture of the Gothic and the baroque.
It's full of dungeons and domes and legend and mystery.
It's also free from neon slogans, fast-food franchises, talking seat belts, and yesterday's top 40 piped into every hotel lobby.
It's like stepping back into another century.
This is Eva Frances Kolowrat in her wedding dress, comprising 6,222 diamonds.
- Where are all these monstrouses, then? - Monstrances, Eric.
We're getting there.
Oh, excuse me.
On her death, the diamonds were made into the monstrance known as the Prague Sun.
- No photos! - Oh! Well, I didn't know.
There you can see the Prague Sun.
The Prague Sun is the most valuable monstrance of the treasury.
During the war, many of the treasures were hidden from the Nazis by the Capuchin monks.
(Clock chiming) I found out where Axel lives.
It's very near here.
- What did he have to say? - He wasn't there but I have his work address.
Who are those fellows, then? - (Marina) They're the 12 apostles.
- (Chiming) - And the bloke with the bell? - (Marina) Oh, he is Death.
In the Middle Ages, people were afraid of clocks.
They didn't think they recorded time.
They thought they created it.
- It's amazing, isn't it, Eric? - (Clock chiming) So, what time is it? (Chiming) - So Axel works in antiques, eh? - Well, don't rubbish the stock, Lovejoy.
Oh! - (Shop bell) - Eric.
- What is it? - (Speaks German) Vienna.
I wonder if he's got any more.
You have a good eye.
Pity it's not signed, hm? You know something about antiquity, I think.
I, er dabble.
(Speaks Czech) Of course.
Please come.
Alexei.
Marina? - Marina.
- Alexei.
(Speaks Czech) Does he know why your father went to England? (Speaks Czech) Ne.
Does he know anything about the diamond? (Speaks Czech) Ne.
Well, um must've been a shock.
Would you tell him we're sorry to bring him such sad news? (Speaks Czech) (Clears throat) Knew more than he was saying.
How can you tell that? What he did say was in Czech.
You don't need language to see how scared he was.
Huh.
Some sad news.
- Family business.
- I am sorry.
But you are always welcome.
Jan Funke.
Please to have my card.
Hm.
Lovejoy.
- And you are mister - Not mister.
Just Catchpole.
(Shivering) (Gasping) Oh! (Sighing) - Fantastic beer, Eric.
- Great.
I managed to change us some money from this kid in the square.
I got twice the hotel rate.
(Chuckles) Mm! And he told me about this great rock'n'roll club so I might tool down there tonight and scope the scene.
Eric, you know Marina is cooking dinner for Axel and us.
Yeah, but you can get rid of him and then you'll be on your own, won't you? In her studio.
Let's face it, that's half the reason we're in Prague, innit? Eric, when have I ever let sex interfere with business? Well, no, you usually manage to combine the two very effectively.
I'll bet that's what Jane's thinking and all.
D'you want to send her a postcard? I'm sending Wendy one, just to let her know my whereabouts.
That should put a wrinkle in her knickers.
Didn't strike me as the sort of girl who wore them.
(Tram bell) (Classical piano music) (Footsteps) (Tram bell) (Lighter clicking) (Clicks lighter shut) Stop.
Here.
That should do it.
Axel? Axel! - Hey, English! - What? - What, it's not enough or something? - It's no good.
- Look, this is not Czech money.
- Eric.
You, er you take English money? Sterling? - Sure.
- One take two.
Axel! Axel! Axel! Axel! Axel.
- It's me.
- Uh Marina's friend.
(Speaking Czech) Marek.
What, Marek? I I don't understand.
What about Marek? I never think they will hurt him.
Oh (Speaks Czech) (Classical piano music) (Footsteps) - (Footsteps) - (Loud knocks) - (Door creaks) - Lovejoy! Sorry I'm late for dinner.
- My God! What happened? - Someone bashed me on the head.
I can't believe this.
Someone rob you or Well, yeah, but I don't think that was the object of the exercise.
(Sighs) I saw Axel.
- Did he come here? - No.
- (Tap running) - Yeah, he was coming from this direction.
(Sighs) When I caught up with him, he was lying in a doorway exhausted.
Then boom! Lights went out.
Could I have a drop of this wine? - Yes.
- (Grunts) - Sorry.
- It's OK.
- When you wake, was he there? - No.
You see (Sighs) I think Axel lied to us this afternoon.
But I think he was coming here tonight for dinner to tell you the truth.
Something happened.
It was just before I got whacked on the head.
The last words I heard were, "I did not think they would hurt Marek.
" (Sighs) I think we have to go and look for him.
It's through here.
(Knocks) If he's not here, we should call the hospitals or police.
Yeah.
Or maybe while we're here we should have a good look round.
But it's locked, no? (Clinks and click) (Tram bell outside) (Sighs) (Lovejoy chuckles) (Screams) (Marina crying) - (Sobbing) - Let's get out of here.
Come on.
- (Man speaks Czech) - (Gasps) (Men speaking Czech) (Man) Hey! Uh! Come on! Come on! - Oh! - Whoa! (Dog barking) - (Baby crying) - (Speaks Czech) - (Sirens blaring) - (Brakes screech) (Shouting in Czech) He says not to move or he shoot.
- (Bells chiming) - (Birdsong) (Chatter) (Gates closing) Which one of you is the Brit? Do you mind? Sebastian Braikes.
British Embassy, Prague.
About bloody time.
I'm awfully sorry, but I've got a desperate hangover.
The the Hungarians had a Christmas bash last night.
Ever drunk pepper vodka? (Chuckles) Don't.
Can you get me out of here? They're gonna want you in court for breaking and entering.
Until then, you're in HM's custody.
You're in a lot of trouble, Mr.
Lovejoy.
You've been arrested for housebreaking, and there was a body in a bed.
No, the body was in the bed before I got there.
Well, they're doing an autopsy, apparently.
Check for foul play, that sort of thing.
I know, I was telling them everything, including the fact that earlier last night I was robbed.
That's the other problem, of course, you've lost your passport.
Visa section's gonna be really ticked off.
They've wrapped things up for the hols.
- It's gonna be a nightmare.
- Oh.
Oh, well, Eric Catchpole can vouch for me.
- He's not at your hotel.
- Must've scored.
Er Lovejoy! (Chuckles) - What the hell are you doing here? - A currency irregularity.
I I couldn't pay my tab.
There was a bit of pushing and shoving and I chinned somebody.
(Sighs) Sebastian? - While we're here.
- Er - How are we paying for this, Lovejoy? - Marina's treat.
- I feel such a prannet about all our money.
- Why, Eric? Anybody could've missed this.
- Yugoslavia.
- Knock it on the head, Lovejoy.
Somebody did, Eric.
That's why I've got no money.
- Well, I've got my credit card with me.
- Oh? - But I think the limit's up.
- Oh, brilliant.
No, well, I did me Christmas shopping last week, didn't I? Spent 60 quid on you.
You didn't? What did you get me? Well, it's a surprise, isn't it? Christmas Day, that's when you'll find out.
Eric, I have no passport.
You have no money.
We're both due in court.
I don't think we'll be home for Christmas.
God.
Why did we come here, anyway? (Sighs) Ask a silly question.
(Chuckles) Do a, er selection.
Marina, um I found this this picture at Axel's.
Now, this is your father, isn't it? And this is Axel.
D'you d'you know who this is? No.
We stop.
- Excuse me? - We end this thing now.
No more.
- There's a lot of unanswered questions.
- I do not care.
I do not care for mysteries.
Old men's mysteries that happened a long time ago.
- But, Marina, the only way we're - My father may die.
- His friend is dead.
- That's why we have I don't wish to be frightened any more.
I want to live my life.
Marina, Eric and I came a long way.
For what? For the love of my father? He is a stranger.
Because I was sad? You don't know me.
Maybe you think there is money or diamonds.
No, no, no, no, we wanted to help.
So I thank you.
Marina, maybe you should go to England to be with your father.
I cannot.
Since I am arrest, I cannot leave Prague! - She won't be wanting these, then.
- Mm.
(Sellotape squeaks) Now bring us some figgy pudding, now bring us some figgy pudding Now bring us some figgy pudding - And bring some out here - Oh, shut up.
- Good tidings I bring - (Knock at door) - To you and your king - Humbug! We wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new year (Yodeling) (Phone rings) - (Yodeling ends) - (Whispers) (Applause) - (Jane) Hello? - I thought I'd catch you in now.
Off the slopes at four.
Out of the Badedas bath, ready for the après-ski.
Where are you? What d'you want? I want to know how you are and how's Johnno.
Rather tiresome actually.
I think he assumes too much from my coming here.
- (Cuckoos) - Is he laying siege to your door, Jane? Is that him making that terrible noise I can hear? - (Cuckoos) - No, it isn't, Lovejoy.
That's Johannes Jaeger the Tyrolean mountain goat, actually.
So how are you getting on with the presents? Oh, um well, that's actually, er what I'm calling about, Janie.
I mean, I'm sure Tinker's very capable - but, well, er - (Snoring) (Chuckles) Well, actually, I'm I'm next door to you.
I'm in Prague.
- With that girl? - No.
No, that's actually Eric you can hear snoring.
Hold on, hold on.
(Snores) - Oh! - Have a word with Janie.
Say hello.
- Hello.
- That's enough.
Can you hear him? Eric.
- So what are you doing? - Um - (Snoring) - Stranded, actually.
But I'm staying well, we're staying at the Caribbean Hotel, Prague.
- So you can send the money there.
- What money? The money we haven't got and you have.
Also, Janie, I lost my passport and I'm in a little trouble with the police.
You are a sod, Lovejoy.
I thought you rang to see how I was.
I did.
Oh, I did.
I mean, I miss you very much.
I wish you were here.
- (Snoring) - In fact Shut up, Eric.
If I had a high-powered chopper I'd fly you here in a half an hour.
If you had a high-powered chopper, I might not have left you behind in the first place.
(Whispers) Janie, please.
Don't talk like that in front of the kids.
(Orchestral soundtrack) (Speaks Czech) (Sobbing) - Hello? - Hello.
Lovejoy, 320.
Has some money been mailed to me? Moment.
(Sighs) - No.
- No? - (Phone rings) - (Chuckles) Oh, please, Janie.
Come through for little Lovejoy, eh? There are no microphones here any more, Mr.
Lovejoy.
Police.
Well, it's a very unflattering photo of you.
Aneska? Anesh-ka.
Oh, well, what is it? More questions, Aneshka? (Phone rings) I am not with Criminal Division.
I am with - (Speaks Czech) - Course you are.
It's a special section.
We only exist in the changes.
Our job is to protect my country's history, our paintings, our antiques.
- Protected from what? - From leaving Czechoslovakia.
The only art I've seen is graffiti on a cell wall.
For a man with your interests, Mr.
Lovejoy, this is a waste.
This man is called Redl.
He used to be with StB.
It was our secret police.
We think for many years he has been stealing our art treasures.
So why don't you arrest him? If we do, we may not recover what he has stolen.
(Sighs) I get the feeling you think I can help.
(Church bells) (Organ plays hymn) (Footsteps) (Door closes) For five centuries, this was the only bridge across the river.
Well, now you've got a free market economy, don't let anyone buy it.
(Chuckles) Come on, you can't buy a bridge.
Don't be too sure.
Someone bought London Bridge.
Now it's sitting in the middle of Arizona.
I was brought up to believe that capitalists were bad.
Now I know we need these people.
But we do not need gangsters.
Hope you're not looking at me.
(Chuckles) Listen.
If you help us, all the other charges against you will disappear.
You are the kind of man who will interest Redl.
We can leak to him that you are an expert in antiques, that you've got contacts in the West, that you are a man who will bend the law when it suits him.
Hm? Maybe even with a criminal past.
A bit far-fetched but maybe he'll buy it.
Sounds bloody dodgy to me, Lovejoy.
And you reckon she's secret police? You're gonna end up in a rubber room.
I don't have much choice, kid.
I was found breaking into a flat where there was a corpse, and he was murdered, she told me.
- Did she? - Hold this.
Two thumbs applied to the carotid artery.
- Ooh! - Very professionally.
(Whispers) Give me your gum, Eric.
Ooh.
Ooh.
And the diamond.
- (Door opens) - You could've had a fresh piece! (Phone ringing) (Eric) Hello? (Siren outside) (Knocking) - (Siren blaring) - (Eric) Lovejoy? (Sighs) Yes, Eric? (Eric) It's Marina on the phone.
(Marina) I'm sorry for the things I say to you.
I cannot ignore what has happened.
- What made you change your mind? - She did.
Her name is Lila.
She came to me at Axel's funeral.
You were right.
That is my father and that is Axel.
Lila tell me that when the war begin, many of the students try to help save our art from falling into Nazi hands.
They took things from monasteries, museums, galleries.
They hid them in the countryside in churches and farms and wine cellars, sometimes only hours ahead of the Germans.
accident, a crash on an icy road.
(Coughs and groans) (Gunfire) The Germans were near them.
They divide the diamonds and then they say goodbye and they separate.
A year ago, she read in the newspaper a man is killed near the railway yard.
She knows his name.
It was this man.
And then she hear that Axel is dead.
Why did she want to talk to you? She want to warn my father.
- Not knowing she was a week late? - Yes.
When I tell her, she is great shock.
What's her connection with these men? She will not say, but, you know, she is not all, um you know, in the mind.
I ring the number in her purse.
She live in home for old people.
Dotty had a copy of this photograph in England.
There was another man.
Axel tore the corner off.
- Why? - He wanted to protect someone.
(Lovejoy) I think it had something to do with the Prague Sun.
(Monitor beeping) (Low chatter) Ah, Mr.
Dill, splendid.
These all of them? Well, they're not the, er usual plods.
They're not the local police.
I don't know what they are.
But, um the girl says that Aneska says that they're some sort of art squad.
That's new.
But then a lot of things are at the moment.
Well, if you can sort something out, fine, otherwise the court date is 28th.
Oh, no! That means I'd be here through Christmas.
Well, it's not all bad here.
The embassy has a bash on Christmas Eve which you could come to.
Most of the dips are married so they push off early and then we have a disco and some of the secretaries get quite out of it.
Sebastian.
You don't understand.
Christmas Day, I have to be there playing the man, "Ho-ho-ho", in my local hospital.
That's not sufficient reason to change the workings of the Czech judicial system.
No, Sebastian, think of the children, their little faces.
(Murmurs) Humbug.
- (Sighs) - How is he? Hard to tell, dear.
Doctors tell you nothing.
Stable's the word they keep using.
Let's go down the pub.
I could do with a large one.
- Had a call from Lovejoy.
- More than I've had.
He wants me to dig out an old snapshot of Marek and fox it to him.
I think he meant fax.
(Shop bell) - (Shop bell) - Oh, it is Mr - Lovejoy.
- You wish to see again the cut glass? No, no, no, no, I, er (Sighs) wanted to ask you about Axel.
Oh, my God.
What a tragedy.
What a terrible thing.
Did anyone, anyone, ever visit him here? I do not think he knew many people.
He moved here only a year ago from Kosice.
I met no one apart from yourself and Catchpole - and, of course, your beautiful friend.
- Hm.
How much is this? Let me see.
In US dollars, 1,200.
Thank you.
- (Shop bell) - Goodbye.
- Goodbye.
- Excuse me.
Mm.
As he didn't know many people, did he ever confide in you, tell you anything? Forgive me, but we had little in common.
Except antiques.
Did he ever suggest that he had anything valuable? You know.
Like diamonds, perhaps, hm? - Diamonds? - Mm.
He owned nothing.
I thought he looked frightened.
Of dying alone perhaps.
Which, of course, he did.
Please come.
My mother told me never to get into cars with strange men.
- Ah.
- Lovejoy? - Janie? - Lovejoy, there you are! I've brought you the money in person, you foolish thing.
(Laughs) Hello! This city's enchanting.
I had no idea.
Will you come with me, or do you know somewhere wonderful for lunch? Janie.
Have I come at a bad moment? (Dripping water) (Speaks Czech) Please wait.
(Lovejoy) Why not? Sorry about this, Janie.
You all right? Yes.
No, actually.
I'm rather frightened.
- You could have wired the money, you know.
- To tell the truth, the chalet was unbearable.
No one was getting on.
So I told Pru, "I'm gonna rent a car and go and see Lovejoy.
" "That's not very sensible," she said, and I said, "Well, I'm sick of being sensible.
"I've been sensible ever since they made me head girl at school.
" Well, I thought it was long overdue for me to be reckless and irresponsible.
Well, you should've listened to your sister.
- Who are these people? - You mean, "They seem awfully common.
" We've just been kidnapped, for God's sake.
- Listen.
- (Chiming) - What? - Listen.
- (Chiming) - Sounds like a distant fairground.
- A carousel or something.
- (Door creaks) I'm sorry about these precautions.
This place is too closely guarded a secret to share it with civilians.
My name is Redl, Mr.
Lovejoy.
Karel Redl.
- Means nothing to me.
- Hm.
Me neither.
It used to mean quite a lot to some people in the old days.
Since the democracy, I am no longer in favor.
Well, you knew my name and your goon knew where to pick me up.
You must have some connections.
But I don't know your friend.
The name's Felsham.
Lady Felsham.
I know about the other lady.
But not about this lady.
- Who's this? - He must mean Marina.
Yes, I'm sure he must.
I don't think you came to Prague because of a woman, Mr.
Lovejoy.
Not even because of a lady.
I think you came because of these.
Worth the air fare.
What do you know about these stones? Well, they look like they come from the Prague Sun, but when I saw it in the Loreto, it looked pretty intact.
But you didn't see it.
You saw a replica.
Oh, yes, Mr.
Lovejoy, I assure you I have the real one.
It came into my hands after the war, when I led a unit recovering hidden works of art.
But it was in pieces.
I was a rising star in the communist party so it wasn't difficult for me to find the finest craftsmen.
What I eventually restored to a grateful nation was a fake.
I'm sure that wasn't the only thing you didn't give back to a grateful nation.
These are things I've collected over a period of years.
- Stolen? - Acquired.
Redl, you're a collector, I'm a dealer.
You can't move this stuff in Czechoslovakia.
You can't sell it in the auction houses in the West.
What you need are private collectors who won't ask too many questions where the stuff comes from.
I know these people.
Together we could make some serious money.
- Lovejoy, there is a limit.
- Keep out of this, Jane.
Mr.
Lovejoy, my greatest asset is the Prague Sun.
But it's incomplete.
I've spent half my life looking for the missing diamonds.
I thought the trail might end in England.
But I was wrong.
Why d'you think I can help you? Because of the girl.
And the father is still alive.
Please.
You have a great deal to gain.
Not much good to you here like this, am I? You're free to go, Mr.
Lovejoy.
(Sighs) Could you order us a taxi? For you alone.
I think the lady should stay with us.
As insurance.
(Brakes screech) - (Grunts) - Ah! Lovejoy.
- OK? - (Sighs) (Crows caw) Couldn't we meet somewhere warm? I mean, haven't you got an office? Here I can be sure you are not followed.
Well, Redl made contact.
- This is good.
- No, it's not good.
He took a friend of mine hostage.
- A young man from England? - No, a young woman from England.
I did not ask you to involve any friends.
Where did he take you? I don't know.
It's underground, through tunnels.
Prague has many such places.
It's a medieval city.
And what does Redl want from you? He thinks I can find some missing diamonds.
- And can you? - I've got a lead, but it's a long shot.
- Follow it.
- Yeah.
Yeah, I've got something for you.
A a man called Funke.
- The same shop where Axel worked, yes? - Mm? I went to see him yesterday.
Today they picked me up.
Now, this may not be a coincidence.
We'll check this out.
You do that.
I'd like to get my friend out of there.
(Tram bell) Eric! - Where the hell have you been? - (Phone rings) - You won't believe me.
Is that the fax? - Yeah, it's just arrived.
- (Lovejoy) Who is this one on the end? - (Eric) I don't know.
He looks younger than the others, though, doesn't he? He's just a boy.
Or a girl.
Axel.
Marek.
And is this you? (Both speak Czech) Yes.
(Patient coughs) What - What? - (Chuckles) What's this on your coat? - Looks like gilt.
- It is gilt.
Eh? (Chiming) That's the sound, I'm sure of it.
- What you talking about? - Jane said it sounded like a fairground.
That's the sound, Eric, which means Redl's place is somewhere nearby and thanks to you I think I know how we get there.
Thanks to me? (Chimes) (Clocks ticking) (Chiming) - (Shop bell) - Mr.
Lovejoy! - We are closed.
- Not yet you're not.
Where are you going? - And what are you doing? - I'm his muscle.
If you don't leave, I shall call the police.
See this? Must have brushed up against this yesterday coming up from your cellar.
- Ow! - I don't know what you are talking about.
Oh, yes, you do.
This is the place.
I recognize the smell.
- (Thump) - Ugh! - Solid bit of chair, this.
- Very good, Eric.
- Want his gun? - Hm.
Where d'you reckon this entrance could be, eh? What d'you think? Secret book mechanism opens the bookshelf? Leave it out, Lovejoy.
Very good, Eric.
(Shop bell) (Shop bell) What is going on here? When you called, I told you to wait for me.
He was closing, love.
Even so, it is illegal entry and assault.
Back there is a door leading to Redl.
Now, I suggest you phone for some extra back-up.
You are right.
Your passport does less than justice to your talent.
Perhaps you should change "antique dealer" to "detective".
To Hercule Lovejoy? Doesn't quite cut, really, does it? Give me the phone.
What are you doing? The real police never saw my passport.
Whoever stole it killed Axel.
(Speaks Czech) And you, darling.
Eric? - Call the real police.
- But I don't speak Czech.
- What? - It just sounds like sneezing to me.
Call the hotel or embassy.
Find somebody who does.
And get 'em here quick.
(Dripping water) (Footsteps echo) (Redl) My pièce de résistance.
(Switch clicks) Very few have feasted their eyes on my collection.
And you're a man who can appreciate it.
You should be wearing a mask and playing the organ.
(Chuckles) You seem to have taken the initiative.
Well, I know that Funke's in with you and that Aneska is a phony cop.
It seemed a subtle approach.
We could find out what kind of a man you are and what you know about the diamonds without resorting to violence.
You must have had your fill of that in your lifetime.
The complication was a woman.
Your lady (Chuckles) Lady! She's charming.
We've had many a long talk.
Of course, you realize that your finding out about this place doesn't guarantee her safety or indeed yours.
She's not the reason I'm here.
I'm here for this.
Or at least my share when we become partners.
It's reassuring that you put greed before honor.
But there were other conditions to my offer.
Oh, I have the diamonds.
Or at least I know where they are.
I don't believe you.
Thought you'd say that.
So I brought a sample.
Oh, I'm not armed, Mr.
Redl.
Rose cut.
Seventeenth century.
(Clock ticks) (Chuckles) (Door clicks) Give our friend here a brandy.
Only two more shopping days left till Christmas, Janie.
I am waiting.
(Lovejoy sighs) Let me see.
Somehow you got on the trail of the diamonds.
Then about a year ago an old man died in some railway yards.
He led you to Axel and his diamonds.
Correct? We were very good to Axel.
We brought him to the city and we found him a job.
Only until he tracked down his old friend Marek.
But Axel left something out.
There'd been a fourth member of that student gang, a woman.
Axel and she were lovers.
You found this woman? That's where I got the diamond.
The rest are hidden.
I don't believe you.
And I am still waiting.
She walks first.
She won't say anything.
I'm your hostage now.
She can be on the plane to England tonight.
- No, Lovejoy, I'm not leaving here without - Yes, you will, Jane.
No, she's not going anywhere.
- I am still waiting.
- (Whispers) Come on, Eric.
Is that the British Embassy? Ah, great.
Can I speak to Sebastian Braikes urgently, please? Yeah, Eric Catchpole.
Catchpole.
(Beeping) There's someone in the shop.
(Beeping) (Shouting in Czech) (Squeals) Whoa! Whoa! Go ahead, Funke.
Make my day.
(Grunts and shouts) (Jane) Stop it! Stop it! - Get off! - Argh! (Smashing) - (Punching and shouting) - Help! - (Smash) - Help! Help! - (Punch) - Help! Help! - (Punching and grunting) - Please help! Help! - (Smash) - (Punch) ("Silent Night" in Czech) - (Carol continues) - (Chiming) (Carol continues) - Oh! - (Grunting) (Chiming) (Grunting) (Carol continues) Will you get off? Janie! Jane! (Carol continues) Get (Chiming) (Chimes) - (Toys rattle) - (Chiming) (Gasps) Is he dead? No.
- (Chiming) - He's just defenestrated.
Look.
- (Toy drums) - (Toy sheep bleating) (Speaks Czech) (Snorting) Oh (Creaks) (Organ plays) I wish to thank you for when I was in your home.
My father always talked of the kindness of the English.
Your father will get better.
They're very optimistic.
You will spend Christmas with Lovejoy? I hope so.
They're trying to get us on a flight tomorrow.
He's a very attractive man.
Suppose so.
Did you come to Prague because you love him? Well not exactly.
I came for the usual reason.
He was short of money.
Hm? (Speaks Czech) Amen.
(Whispers) No photos.
(Marek) We hid the diamonds to save them for our country.
When the communists took over, I suppose we thought one day we may buy our freedom.
(Footsteps) Now our country is free, it was time to give them back.
Lila buried hers with her first husband.
I don't think she thought she'd ever see freedom again.
I think you ought to have this.
Doesn't really belong to me, does it? From 6,000 stones they can spare one.
- (Footsteps) Lovejoy? Hm? Oh And a ho-ho-ho! (Tinker) Ho-ho-ho! (Lovejoy) Tinker! (Tinker) Lovejoy! - You weren't supposed to be here.
- I thought I was - I was filling in for you.
- (Chuckles) - So what's it like to be mobile again, hm? - Fine.
- (Raised voices) - But I think I'm still seeing double.
(Laughter) Lovejoy.
Hold it.
(Jane laughs) Oh, Lovejoy, do shut up.
(Lovejoy) Her Ladyship frowned, as this year she would have to take the burden on her own slender shoulders.
What a relief (He toots) that trusty Lovejoy would be there, and yet she wondered why when she thought of him of late it brought such a girlish flush to her cheeks.
(Snorts) Actually, I do have an enormous favor to ask you.
Just say the word, Your Ladyship.
(Squeals) Lovejoy, get off! - Of course that's some time after breakfast.
- (Chuckles) Oh, um over there in the corner, if you wouldn't mind.
We'll be having carols at ten as usual, so we'll expect Father Christmas at eleven.
Oh, fine.
Well, Lovejoy's kindly volunteered.
Oh, thank you, Lovejoy.
Over here.
I thought I'd step into Alexander's shoes, not his beard.
Hope he's had it dry-cleaned.
Oh, why not, anyway? There's bound to be dinner afterwards at Felsham Hall.
Blazing log fire in the grate.
The agonizing choice of which claret to plunder from the cellar.
And later, shoes kicked off, lying on the hearth rug, dogs banished to the kitchen, the last of the chocolate liqueurs melting on her lips.
Oh, yes, very fair trade-off for a few ho-ho-ho's, hm? Lovejoy? Just practicing, Janie.
Ho-ho-ho! Ho-ho-ho! - (Czech accent) I'm lost.
- Be all new to you, this.
Went up in the '50s.
(Radio) Neil.
Found the house you're looking for.
(Tuts) Hm.
(Whispers) It's that gorgeous chair, Tink.
Lovely splat.
Moore the younger, almost certainly.
Oh, yeah.
He'll be back if he sees us bidding for it, though.
Perhaps Dotty'd do us the honors.
Dotty! (Chuckles) - Hello.
- Hello, love.
Oh, I think I've been terribly foolish, Lovejoy.
Not with that fellow on the Suzuki that does your French polishing? (Chuckles) No such luck, dear, no.
No, I've bought these and I don't think I should have.
- I tend to buy the things I like, you see.
- Nothing wrong with that.
- No.
How much did you pay for 'em? - 200.
- You did well.
- Did I? Yeah, people tend to overlook gloves.
Listen, Dotty, um we'll stake you.
We want you to bid for lot 132.
You can go up to £2,500.
- Ooh, how exciting! - Yeah.
And while you're doing that, I'll take these off your hands, so to speak.
I'll get you more for these than you paid for the whole set.
- Are they special? - "A".
Alexandra.
Princess of Wales, Dotty.
But they're the ones I particularly like.
- (Birdsong) - (Crows caw) (Bicycle bell) (Bicycle bell) - (Doorbell) - (Computer game beeping) Can I help you? (Czech accent) I know this house.
I I was here many years ago.
- (Computer game explosions) - Really? The family name was Bainbridge.
No.
We bought it from some people called Garrett.
They went to live in France.
He wrote a tedious book about their experience and made an absolute fortune.
There was an oak tree there, I think.
Oh, yes, you're quite right, there was.
We lost it in the hurricane.
- You have hurricanes in England? - Not very often.
- But we had one a few years ago.
- Oh.
(Child giggling inside) Would you like to use the phone or something? (Lovejoy) One thousand.
Fifteen hundred.
- Two thousand.
- You're going to keep it? Oh, no, darling.
Unlike you, I can't afford to get attached to my antiques.
Tomorrow that will be in Ipswich with a man called Bowles.
Yes, I suppose the reason I don't do terribly well is cos there are things in here I can't bear to part with.
(Sighs) There you go.
- Well, if you ever think of parting with this - (Clock chiming) let me know, will you? - Only if you keep it yourself.
Don't want it ending up in Ipswich with a man called Bowles.
- (Both chuckle) - (Shop bell) Can I help you? - Dorothy.
- Yes? It's me.
Marek.
Marek? It It can't be.
But it is.
- I think I need to sit down.
- Oh, no.
I think you'd be more comfortable over here, love.
You You all right, Dotty? - It must be - Fifty years.
(Sighs) I thought you were dead.
Not yet.
Yeah, well, um Yeah.
- Here's the money, Dotty.
- Yeah.
Yeah, thank you, Lovejoy.
Excuse me.
(Shop bell) Marek.
I'm sorry if I give you a fright.
What happened to your poor face? - (Door slams) - (Vehicle starts) If you're expecting to be fed, you're out of luck.
Never entered my mind.
I think we should nip out for a sandwich.
- Hm.
I'm having lunch at Pru's.
- Oh, she likes me, your sister.
- No, she doesn't.
- Yes, she does.
(Sighs) Well, maybe she does, but you are not invited.
You spend a lot of time with your sister recently, Janie.
She's been very supportive since Alexander In fact, she well, she and Miles want me to spend Christmas with them.
They think a change of scene would do me good.
They only live 35 miles away.
No, they want me to go skiing with them and some other people.
Hold on a minute, Janie.
I thought we were gonna spend Christmas together here, after you'd done your Mother Teresa bit around the village.
Yes, I I know I mentioned that, but, well, you know what it's like, Lovejoy.
Well, this time of year and all.
No.
No, I don't know what it's like.
I'd just like to hear about these these other plans and these other people.
Um well, there's the Tennisons, Miles's partner, - Gail and Francesco, if they're getting on - Miles's partner? Johnny Brinton-Taylor.
I don't think you've met.
No.
No, no.
How come I'm only hearing about this now, Janie? Well, they need my decision today.
I think you've already made your decision, haven't you? In fact, I think that you're off down the slopes with Johnny Brinton-Taylor.
- Or do they call him Johnno? - There'll be a whole bunch of us.
Oh, bull, Janie.
I can tell by your voice.
In fact, I can tell by the way that you can't look me in the eye.
- Can you? Hm? Hm? - (Sighs) Janie! Janie, I can understand in your present semi-detached condition that you might need an impulsive meaningless relationship.
I just think it should be with me.
(Sighs) Lovejoy.
Sleeping with you is not the answer to everything.
(Sighs) Mm! (Sounds horn) - What are you doing, Eric? - Well, I put 'em up.
I can tear 'em down.
- Why? - Do you remember that Wendy? Wendy? Wendy? Oh, yes, the drummer with the tattoos.
Well, I did everything for her, flyposting, leaflets humped her bloody amp from gig to gig, fixed the heater on the van, and now she's given me the heave-ho just when they're getting big! - Big? - They're doing Felixstowe on Thursday night! - That big.
- I know.
It's incredible.
Yeah.
Yeah, I know how you feel, Eric.
I've lost a lady.
You've lost a tramp.
(Chatter and laughter) (Irish accent) Ooh, you're a good man, Tink.
Have you seen the time? - Huh? Oh, yeah, I know we're late.
- Oh, I don't mean that.
Don't you miss it? "Time, gentlemen, please.
" I'd have thought you'd have liked the pubs being open all day.
Not at all.
Half of the charm of drinking was knowing you had only so much time to do it in.
Permissive licensing laws have robbed one of that delicious moment of remorse and poignancy when one was torn from conversation and conviviality and hurled into the street.
Tink? Who's the old boy with Dotty, hm? I sort of met him yesterday.
Polish, by the sound of him, isn't he? He's Czech.
He came over here during the war.
She's his fiancée.
Mm.
They got engaged in 1942.
Ah.
Yeah, and I suppose she didn't wait for him.
That's typical of women, that is.
So that's what happened.
That's what happened.
Park your bum, dear, and meet Marek.
- Marek, this is my good friend Lovejoy.
- Hello.
Congratulations.
Tinker just told me.
Have you two named a date? I didn't know how to tell him I'd been married since I last saw him.
But apparently so has he.
- (Chuckles) Brooklyn boys, they call us.
- The old Air Force lads.
- I was sergeant.
Tailgunner in Lancasters.
- He was shot down, poor dear.
After the war, they sent him back to Czecho so I never got any of his letters.
And what brings you back to England now, Marek? Because I am allowed.
Under communism, not possible.
And I promise myself one day I will return and the Prague Sun will shine again.
(Hammering and tapping) (Tapping and scraping) (Tapping) (Crows caw) (Birds cooing) (Grunts) (Clink) (Grunts) (Clink) (Tap) (Lighter flares) (Clicks lighter shut) (Speaks Czech) (Speaks Czech) (Speaks Czech) (Marek screams) (Knocking at door) (Knocking continues) - (Shop bell) - Lovejoy! Did a better deal than I thought in Ipswich.
Your commission.
I hoped you were Marek.
- Something wrong? - He said he'd be back by 6, and it's after 8.
I loaned him my van so that he could go round the countryside, visit all his old haunts.
- Maybe he's got a fiancée in the next parish.
- I do hope he hasn't had an accident.
Find him for me, Lovejoy, there's a dear.
All right, Dotty.
Now, where d'you think he might have gone? (Rock music) (Switches stations) ( "Good King Wenceslaus"plays) (Man on radio) From Shirley Bassey, I Who Have Nothing) (Bagpipes play "Deck The Halls") (Radio off) (Starts engine) I'm heading towards Thaxted.
- Why? - Dotty's lost her Czech.
I thought we paid her cash.
Her aviator.
I'll drop you at home if you like.
No point.
She's not going to phone.
- Who? - Wendy.
- Oh, the tramp.
- Yeah.
Nah.
So what was a Czech doing in the Royal Air Force? A lot of them were in it then.
Czechs, Poles, Dutch.
The ones that got away from the Nazis.
That's what I'd have been in, you know, if I'd been in the war.
The Air Force.
Crossing the Channel on a misty morning.
Drop a few bombs.
Yeowww! Pkshh! Pkshh! Pkshh! And then back to mess for bacon and eggs and a sing-song.
And then one morning you don't come back, and there's your faithful black Labrador whining at the foot of your bed.
Yeah.
(Eric) Hey! That's the turning! (Brakes screech) (Sighs) Eric, if you'd been navigating, none of us would have come back.
(Owl hoots) - (Doors slamming) - (Lovejoy) Bring that torch, Eric.
- (Footsteps) - (Eric) Is that Dotty's van? (Lovejoy) Yeah.
(Creaks) - (Squeaking) - It's a rat.
- I hate bloody rats.
- Now just All right.
(Squeaking) What Well, he's alive.
- What do you reckon? Heart attack? - Huh! Some kind of attack.
Eric, go and get an ambulance.
Go on.
(Monitor beeping) (Low voices) Oh, ta.
They won't let me talk to him.
What d'you think? Slipped and cracked his head? No, he was lying on his face.
Someone whacked him.
(Sighs) Can you believe it, eh? The bloke fights for this country in the war, comes back after all this time and gets boshed by a yobbo.
What must he think of England now, eh? (Monitor beeping) My husband was in intensive care.
It's so frightening.
All those lights blinking.
You're terrified they'll suddenly go out.
(Sighs) Yeah, well, he's unconscious but at least he's stable.
Oh, how frightful.
Dotty? - This you? - (Chuckles) Yes, with him.
He was very handsome.
- Do you mind? - No, of course not.
My parents didn't approve.
I thought it was because he was foreign, but I think now it must've been because they were just boys.
- Hm.
So few of them came back.
- (Clock chimes) Ooh, I found something else.
Here, look.
My engagement ring.
Marek gave it to me all those years ago.
(Whistles) Daddy said, "At least he isn't an American.
" (Snorts) (Lovejoy) It's quite a diamond for a lad on a sergeant's pay.
(Sighs) (Sniffs) (Sighs) (Clonks) Oh! Dennis, please.
What are you doing here, Lovejoy? Oh, I think I might have lost my address book here last night.
Did one of your lot find it? If they did, they're probably ringing some of your lady friends by now.
What are you doing here anyway? Got to lock the place up.
If the old boy croaks, it's murder, isn't it? - Is he any better? - Nah.
He wasn't robbed.
Still had his wallet and quite a bit of cash.
- Yeah? - Maybe somebody from the past.
Reckon he had enemies? Only the Luftwaffe.
Dandy has taken a look at your diamonds, and you're right.
They're rose cut with very few facets.
He thinks the same period.
Quite old.
Probably seventeenth century.
They may even be part of something like a bracelet or a brooch.
There's more of them.
I'm sure of it, Tink.
Marek stashed these in the church and they've been sleeping there since the war.
But someone found out what he was up to.
- Have you shared this with the constabulary? - Mm-mm, not yet.
I wanted to hear Marek's story first.
- If he lives to tell it.
- Yeah.
(Beeping) (Phone ringing) (Ringing stops) (Czech accent) Who are you? - I'm Lovejoy.
Who are you? - I'm his daughter.
(Music and chatter) I'm afraid this is all they had to eat.
I'm not hungry.
- I'm sure Eric'll find you a decent hotel.
- I have not got much money.
Maybe you'll stay with this friend of mine.
She's got a big house.
I told my father not to come! He's too old.
He's not strong.
I'm sorry, but it makes me angry and I worry for him.
What does your father do? He was a lawyer, but, er he speak with his heart.
For many years he's in prison.
After, he work in library.
His life was a disappointment.
But he is happy I'm a painter.
- Oh, you're an artist.
- Yes.
That is why I have no money.
Mm, I know what you mean.
Right, I've booked her in at the Ship.
Oh, G&T, rum and Coke and a cognac.
Did my father tell you why he came here? He said something about the Prague Sun shining again.
I thought the sun started to shine again when they kicked out the communists.
(Jane) She's rather attractive.
(Lovejoy) Very.
(Jane) If you like that sort of urchin look.
Dirty fingernails, that kind of thing.
She's not got dirty fingernails, Janie.
She's an artist.
She was probably at her palette when she got the call to come here.
Burnt umber.
(Sighs) Oh, look.
Now, there are some things I must tell you before I leave.
Ah.
This is for you.
Early present? - Open it.
- Hm.
Now, have I got everything? - Right.
Passport.
- Janie.
- You shouldn't have.
- The children will love you.
And Matron asked if you'd be awfully kind and do the staff party on Christmas Eve as well.
- These are the toys.
- Hm.
- They only need wrapping.
- Wrapping? Emma Breese has a whole lot more over at Much Haddam.
- Has Emma wrapped hers? - She's been rushed off her feet.
- (Thump) - Oh, Lovejoy, it's only once a year.
Just think of the children's faces.
I can't believe you've lumbered me with this while you're off to the slope with Johnno.
Had a few practice runs down the old stairs, have we? Oh! Well, at least you could say, "I hope you have a nice time.
" I hope you have a nice time! Bit chilly out there, eh? - There's some coffee in the drawing room.
- Oh, thank you.
How long do you suppose she's going to stay? Hard to tell.
Mrs.
Cameron's going to Edinburgh.
Well, I've got all this wrapping to do, haven't I? Still, Marina can help me.
Hm.
And Tinker.
- (Clunk) - And Eric.
(Monitor beeping) (Music soundtrack drowns speech) (Whirring) (Chatter) - How is he? - The doctor says he must sleep.
They give him, um you know.
- He say anything? - He want me to go home.
He says I must warn Axel.
- Who's Axel? - They were students together.
My father think he is dead, then two months ago he appeared back in his life.
But warn Axel about what? The man who attacked my father.
(Sighs) What do I do? (Classical music plays) I have chosen this wine with great care.
It's not our cellar, after all.
I have tried to tread that delicate path between gratuitous indulgence and self-denial.
(Door shuts) (Sighs) Well, then.
(Lovejoy and Tinker sigh contentedly) Well, then! (Smacks lips) Mm! Well, what? Found something out, haven't I? Where's Marina? Resting.
It's very good, Tink.
- What have you found out? - The Prague Sun.
I know what old Marek was on about.
- Well, what was he on about? - I wouldn't mind a glass of that plonk meself.
Well, I went into Cambridge, didn't I? Took a look round all the bookshops.
(Sighs) And? And the Prague Sun is a monstrance.
- And what is a monstrance, Eric? - Well, I haven't got to that bit yet.
A rather Romish term used in Holy Communion.
The Host is placed in it and it's displayed to the congregation for its adoration.
Yeah, right.
(Gulps) Ooh.
Anyway, the point is this one is made from diamonds.
"The 6,000 stones in the diamond monstrance were originally part of a wedding dress.
"When the bride died in 1695, she left her entire fortune to the Loreto Shrine.
" - I bet her husband was pissed off.
- He should have had a prenuptial agreement.
"The jewelers unpicked the diamonds and reassembled them into the monstrance - "also known as the Prague Sun.
" - The Prague Sun.
"This now forms the centerpiece of a display of monstrances "at the Loreto Museum in Prague.
" Now look over the page.
(Lovejoy whistles) "Some diamonds were used to pay the court jewelers "but the fate of the others remain a mystery.
" Wow.
Your friend, Tink, said the diamond I found in the church was what, was 17th century, hm? Lovejoy, you've got that look.
No, no, no, no, all I'm thinking, Tink, is if someone was prepared to kill the old man for the diamonds, then Marina's not safe.
Well, of course she isn't, and we've got to look after her.
- Eh? We? We? - Especially if she goes home.
If you're going to Prague, I'm going and all.
I found out about it all.
Gentlemen, Prague is not on our patch.
It's beyond the three-mile limit, that sort of thing.
Now, don't let a whiff of buried treasure and a pretty ankle turn your heads.
(Sighs) (Tuts) Oh (Chatter) (Bell tolling) You may have heard of the word defenestration.
It means the forcible expulsion of a person through a window.
We are famous for this in Prague.
We had four in our history.
The last was in 1948 from a window up there in the Prague Castle.
Poor Mr.
Masaryk.
The communists had a reason to kill him.
But on the other hand, he was a manic-depressive so who knows? (Sighs and sniffs) You can't blame me, can you? I've never been to Prague before.
And it is one of the great unspoiled cities in Central Europe.
Notice I said Central not Eastern Europe.
The, um Czechs are a bit funny about that.
They think of Eastern Europeans as turnip heads, don't they, Eric? - Eh? - Never mind.
Prague is a magical mixture of the Gothic and the baroque.
It's full of dungeons and domes and legend and mystery.
It's also free from neon slogans, fast-food franchises, talking seat belts, and yesterday's top 40 piped into every hotel lobby.
It's like stepping back into another century.
This is Eva Frances Kolowrat in her wedding dress, comprising 6,222 diamonds.
- Where are all these monstrouses, then? - Monstrances, Eric.
We're getting there.
Oh, excuse me.
On her death, the diamonds were made into the monstrance known as the Prague Sun.
- No photos! - Oh! Well, I didn't know.
There you can see the Prague Sun.
The Prague Sun is the most valuable monstrance of the treasury.
During the war, many of the treasures were hidden from the Nazis by the Capuchin monks.
(Clock chiming) I found out where Axel lives.
It's very near here.
- What did he have to say? - He wasn't there but I have his work address.
Who are those fellows, then? - (Marina) They're the 12 apostles.
- (Chiming) - And the bloke with the bell? - (Marina) Oh, he is Death.
In the Middle Ages, people were afraid of clocks.
They didn't think they recorded time.
They thought they created it.
- It's amazing, isn't it, Eric? - (Clock chiming) So, what time is it? (Chiming) - So Axel works in antiques, eh? - Well, don't rubbish the stock, Lovejoy.
Oh! - (Shop bell) - Eric.
- What is it? - (Speaks German) Vienna.
I wonder if he's got any more.
You have a good eye.
Pity it's not signed, hm? You know something about antiquity, I think.
I, er dabble.
(Speaks Czech) Of course.
Please come.
Alexei.
Marina? - Marina.
- Alexei.
(Speaks Czech) Does he know why your father went to England? (Speaks Czech) Ne.
Does he know anything about the diamond? (Speaks Czech) Ne.
Well, um must've been a shock.
Would you tell him we're sorry to bring him such sad news? (Speaks Czech) (Clears throat) Knew more than he was saying.
How can you tell that? What he did say was in Czech.
You don't need language to see how scared he was.
Huh.
Some sad news.
- Family business.
- I am sorry.
But you are always welcome.
Jan Funke.
Please to have my card.
Hm.
Lovejoy.
- And you are mister - Not mister.
Just Catchpole.
(Shivering) (Gasping) Oh! (Sighing) - Fantastic beer, Eric.
- Great.
I managed to change us some money from this kid in the square.
I got twice the hotel rate.
(Chuckles) Mm! And he told me about this great rock'n'roll club so I might tool down there tonight and scope the scene.
Eric, you know Marina is cooking dinner for Axel and us.
Yeah, but you can get rid of him and then you'll be on your own, won't you? In her studio.
Let's face it, that's half the reason we're in Prague, innit? Eric, when have I ever let sex interfere with business? Well, no, you usually manage to combine the two very effectively.
I'll bet that's what Jane's thinking and all.
D'you want to send her a postcard? I'm sending Wendy one, just to let her know my whereabouts.
That should put a wrinkle in her knickers.
Didn't strike me as the sort of girl who wore them.
(Tram bell) (Classical piano music) (Footsteps) (Tram bell) (Lighter clicking) (Clicks lighter shut) Stop.
Here.
That should do it.
Axel? Axel! - Hey, English! - What? - What, it's not enough or something? - It's no good.
- Look, this is not Czech money.
- Eric.
You, er you take English money? Sterling? - Sure.
- One take two.
Axel! Axel! Axel! Axel! Axel.
- It's me.
- Uh Marina's friend.
(Speaking Czech) Marek.
What, Marek? I I don't understand.
What about Marek? I never think they will hurt him.
Oh (Speaks Czech) (Classical piano music) (Footsteps) - (Footsteps) - (Loud knocks) - (Door creaks) - Lovejoy! Sorry I'm late for dinner.
- My God! What happened? - Someone bashed me on the head.
I can't believe this.
Someone rob you or Well, yeah, but I don't think that was the object of the exercise.
(Sighs) I saw Axel.
- Did he come here? - No.
- (Tap running) - Yeah, he was coming from this direction.
(Sighs) When I caught up with him, he was lying in a doorway exhausted.
Then boom! Lights went out.
Could I have a drop of this wine? - Yes.
- (Grunts) - Sorry.
- It's OK.
- When you wake, was he there? - No.
You see (Sighs) I think Axel lied to us this afternoon.
But I think he was coming here tonight for dinner to tell you the truth.
Something happened.
It was just before I got whacked on the head.
The last words I heard were, "I did not think they would hurt Marek.
" (Sighs) I think we have to go and look for him.
It's through here.
(Knocks) If he's not here, we should call the hospitals or police.
Yeah.
Or maybe while we're here we should have a good look round.
But it's locked, no? (Clinks and click) (Tram bell outside) (Sighs) (Lovejoy chuckles) (Screams) (Marina crying) - (Sobbing) - Let's get out of here.
Come on.
- (Man speaks Czech) - (Gasps) (Men speaking Czech) (Man) Hey! Uh! Come on! Come on! - Oh! - Whoa! (Dog barking) - (Baby crying) - (Speaks Czech) - (Sirens blaring) - (Brakes screech) (Shouting in Czech) He says not to move or he shoot.
- (Bells chiming) - (Birdsong) (Chatter) (Gates closing) Which one of you is the Brit? Do you mind? Sebastian Braikes.
British Embassy, Prague.
About bloody time.
I'm awfully sorry, but I've got a desperate hangover.
The the Hungarians had a Christmas bash last night.
Ever drunk pepper vodka? (Chuckles) Don't.
Can you get me out of here? They're gonna want you in court for breaking and entering.
Until then, you're in HM's custody.
You're in a lot of trouble, Mr.
Lovejoy.
You've been arrested for housebreaking, and there was a body in a bed.
No, the body was in the bed before I got there.
Well, they're doing an autopsy, apparently.
Check for foul play, that sort of thing.
I know, I was telling them everything, including the fact that earlier last night I was robbed.
That's the other problem, of course, you've lost your passport.
Visa section's gonna be really ticked off.
They've wrapped things up for the hols.
- It's gonna be a nightmare.
- Oh.
Oh, well, Eric Catchpole can vouch for me.
- He's not at your hotel.
- Must've scored.
Er Lovejoy! (Chuckles) - What the hell are you doing here? - A currency irregularity.
I I couldn't pay my tab.
There was a bit of pushing and shoving and I chinned somebody.
(Sighs) Sebastian? - While we're here.
- Er - How are we paying for this, Lovejoy? - Marina's treat.
- I feel such a prannet about all our money.
- Why, Eric? Anybody could've missed this.
- Yugoslavia.
- Knock it on the head, Lovejoy.
Somebody did, Eric.
That's why I've got no money.
- Well, I've got my credit card with me.
- Oh? - But I think the limit's up.
- Oh, brilliant.
No, well, I did me Christmas shopping last week, didn't I? Spent 60 quid on you.
You didn't? What did you get me? Well, it's a surprise, isn't it? Christmas Day, that's when you'll find out.
Eric, I have no passport.
You have no money.
We're both due in court.
I don't think we'll be home for Christmas.
God.
Why did we come here, anyway? (Sighs) Ask a silly question.
(Chuckles) Do a, er selection.
Marina, um I found this this picture at Axel's.
Now, this is your father, isn't it? And this is Axel.
D'you d'you know who this is? No.
We stop.
- Excuse me? - We end this thing now.
No more.
- There's a lot of unanswered questions.
- I do not care.
I do not care for mysteries.
Old men's mysteries that happened a long time ago.
- But, Marina, the only way we're - My father may die.
- His friend is dead.
- That's why we have I don't wish to be frightened any more.
I want to live my life.
Marina, Eric and I came a long way.
For what? For the love of my father? He is a stranger.
Because I was sad? You don't know me.
Maybe you think there is money or diamonds.
No, no, no, no, we wanted to help.
So I thank you.
Marina, maybe you should go to England to be with your father.
I cannot.
Since I am arrest, I cannot leave Prague! - She won't be wanting these, then.
- Mm.
(Sellotape squeaks) Now bring us some figgy pudding, now bring us some figgy pudding Now bring us some figgy pudding - And bring some out here - Oh, shut up.
- Good tidings I bring - (Knock at door) - To you and your king - Humbug! We wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new year (Yodeling) (Phone rings) - (Yodeling ends) - (Whispers) (Applause) - (Jane) Hello? - I thought I'd catch you in now.
Off the slopes at four.
Out of the Badedas bath, ready for the après-ski.
Where are you? What d'you want? I want to know how you are and how's Johnno.
Rather tiresome actually.
I think he assumes too much from my coming here.
- (Cuckoos) - Is he laying siege to your door, Jane? Is that him making that terrible noise I can hear? - (Cuckoos) - No, it isn't, Lovejoy.
That's Johannes Jaeger the Tyrolean mountain goat, actually.
So how are you getting on with the presents? Oh, um well, that's actually, er what I'm calling about, Janie.
I mean, I'm sure Tinker's very capable - but, well, er - (Snoring) (Chuckles) Well, actually, I'm I'm next door to you.
I'm in Prague.
- With that girl? - No.
No, that's actually Eric you can hear snoring.
Hold on, hold on.
(Snores) - Oh! - Have a word with Janie.
Say hello.
- Hello.
- That's enough.
Can you hear him? Eric.
- So what are you doing? - Um - (Snoring) - Stranded, actually.
But I'm staying well, we're staying at the Caribbean Hotel, Prague.
- So you can send the money there.
- What money? The money we haven't got and you have.
Also, Janie, I lost my passport and I'm in a little trouble with the police.
You are a sod, Lovejoy.
I thought you rang to see how I was.
I did.
Oh, I did.
I mean, I miss you very much.
I wish you were here.
- (Snoring) - In fact Shut up, Eric.
If I had a high-powered chopper I'd fly you here in a half an hour.
If you had a high-powered chopper, I might not have left you behind in the first place.
(Whispers) Janie, please.
Don't talk like that in front of the kids.
(Orchestral soundtrack) (Speaks Czech) (Sobbing) - Hello? - Hello.
Lovejoy, 320.
Has some money been mailed to me? Moment.
(Sighs) - No.
- No? - (Phone rings) - (Chuckles) Oh, please, Janie.
Come through for little Lovejoy, eh? There are no microphones here any more, Mr.
Lovejoy.
Police.
Well, it's a very unflattering photo of you.
Aneska? Anesh-ka.
Oh, well, what is it? More questions, Aneshka? (Phone rings) I am not with Criminal Division.
I am with - (Speaks Czech) - Course you are.
It's a special section.
We only exist in the changes.
Our job is to protect my country's history, our paintings, our antiques.
- Protected from what? - From leaving Czechoslovakia.
The only art I've seen is graffiti on a cell wall.
For a man with your interests, Mr.
Lovejoy, this is a waste.
This man is called Redl.
He used to be with StB.
It was our secret police.
We think for many years he has been stealing our art treasures.
So why don't you arrest him? If we do, we may not recover what he has stolen.
(Sighs) I get the feeling you think I can help.
(Church bells) (Organ plays hymn) (Footsteps) (Door closes) For five centuries, this was the only bridge across the river.
Well, now you've got a free market economy, don't let anyone buy it.
(Chuckles) Come on, you can't buy a bridge.
Don't be too sure.
Someone bought London Bridge.
Now it's sitting in the middle of Arizona.
I was brought up to believe that capitalists were bad.
Now I know we need these people.
But we do not need gangsters.
Hope you're not looking at me.
(Chuckles) Listen.
If you help us, all the other charges against you will disappear.
You are the kind of man who will interest Redl.
We can leak to him that you are an expert in antiques, that you've got contacts in the West, that you are a man who will bend the law when it suits him.
Hm? Maybe even with a criminal past.
A bit far-fetched but maybe he'll buy it.
Sounds bloody dodgy to me, Lovejoy.
And you reckon she's secret police? You're gonna end up in a rubber room.
I don't have much choice, kid.
I was found breaking into a flat where there was a corpse, and he was murdered, she told me.
- Did she? - Hold this.
Two thumbs applied to the carotid artery.
- Ooh! - Very professionally.
(Whispers) Give me your gum, Eric.
Ooh.
Ooh.
And the diamond.
- (Door opens) - You could've had a fresh piece! (Phone ringing) (Eric) Hello? (Siren outside) (Knocking) - (Siren blaring) - (Eric) Lovejoy? (Sighs) Yes, Eric? (Eric) It's Marina on the phone.
(Marina) I'm sorry for the things I say to you.
I cannot ignore what has happened.
- What made you change your mind? - She did.
Her name is Lila.
She came to me at Axel's funeral.
You were right.
That is my father and that is Axel.
Lila tell me that when the war begin, many of the students try to help save our art from falling into Nazi hands.
They took things from monasteries, museums, galleries.
They hid them in the countryside in churches and farms and wine cellars, sometimes only hours ahead of the Germans.
accident, a crash on an icy road.
(Coughs and groans) (Gunfire) The Germans were near them.
They divide the diamonds and then they say goodbye and they separate.
A year ago, she read in the newspaper a man is killed near the railway yard.
She knows his name.
It was this man.
And then she hear that Axel is dead.
Why did she want to talk to you? She want to warn my father.
- Not knowing she was a week late? - Yes.
When I tell her, she is great shock.
What's her connection with these men? She will not say, but, you know, she is not all, um you know, in the mind.
I ring the number in her purse.
She live in home for old people.
Dotty had a copy of this photograph in England.
There was another man.
Axel tore the corner off.
- Why? - He wanted to protect someone.
(Lovejoy) I think it had something to do with the Prague Sun.
(Monitor beeping) (Low chatter) Ah, Mr.
Dill, splendid.
These all of them? Well, they're not the, er usual plods.
They're not the local police.
I don't know what they are.
But, um the girl says that Aneska says that they're some sort of art squad.
That's new.
But then a lot of things are at the moment.
Well, if you can sort something out, fine, otherwise the court date is 28th.
Oh, no! That means I'd be here through Christmas.
Well, it's not all bad here.
The embassy has a bash on Christmas Eve which you could come to.
Most of the dips are married so they push off early and then we have a disco and some of the secretaries get quite out of it.
Sebastian.
You don't understand.
Christmas Day, I have to be there playing the man, "Ho-ho-ho", in my local hospital.
That's not sufficient reason to change the workings of the Czech judicial system.
No, Sebastian, think of the children, their little faces.
(Murmurs) Humbug.
- (Sighs) - How is he? Hard to tell, dear.
Doctors tell you nothing.
Stable's the word they keep using.
Let's go down the pub.
I could do with a large one.
- Had a call from Lovejoy.
- More than I've had.
He wants me to dig out an old snapshot of Marek and fox it to him.
I think he meant fax.
(Shop bell) - (Shop bell) - Oh, it is Mr - Lovejoy.
- You wish to see again the cut glass? No, no, no, no, I, er (Sighs) wanted to ask you about Axel.
Oh, my God.
What a tragedy.
What a terrible thing.
Did anyone, anyone, ever visit him here? I do not think he knew many people.
He moved here only a year ago from Kosice.
I met no one apart from yourself and Catchpole - and, of course, your beautiful friend.
- Hm.
How much is this? Let me see.
In US dollars, 1,200.
Thank you.
- (Shop bell) - Goodbye.
- Goodbye.
- Excuse me.
Mm.
As he didn't know many people, did he ever confide in you, tell you anything? Forgive me, but we had little in common.
Except antiques.
Did he ever suggest that he had anything valuable? You know.
Like diamonds, perhaps, hm? - Diamonds? - Mm.
He owned nothing.
I thought he looked frightened.
Of dying alone perhaps.
Which, of course, he did.
Please come.
My mother told me never to get into cars with strange men.
- Ah.
- Lovejoy? - Janie? - Lovejoy, there you are! I've brought you the money in person, you foolish thing.
(Laughs) Hello! This city's enchanting.
I had no idea.
Will you come with me, or do you know somewhere wonderful for lunch? Janie.
Have I come at a bad moment? (Dripping water) (Speaks Czech) Please wait.
(Lovejoy) Why not? Sorry about this, Janie.
You all right? Yes.
No, actually.
I'm rather frightened.
- You could have wired the money, you know.
- To tell the truth, the chalet was unbearable.
No one was getting on.
So I told Pru, "I'm gonna rent a car and go and see Lovejoy.
" "That's not very sensible," she said, and I said, "Well, I'm sick of being sensible.
"I've been sensible ever since they made me head girl at school.
" Well, I thought it was long overdue for me to be reckless and irresponsible.
Well, you should've listened to your sister.
- Who are these people? - You mean, "They seem awfully common.
" We've just been kidnapped, for God's sake.
- Listen.
- (Chiming) - What? - Listen.
- (Chiming) - Sounds like a distant fairground.
- A carousel or something.
- (Door creaks) I'm sorry about these precautions.
This place is too closely guarded a secret to share it with civilians.
My name is Redl, Mr.
Lovejoy.
Karel Redl.
- Means nothing to me.
- Hm.
Me neither.
It used to mean quite a lot to some people in the old days.
Since the democracy, I am no longer in favor.
Well, you knew my name and your goon knew where to pick me up.
You must have some connections.
But I don't know your friend.
The name's Felsham.
Lady Felsham.
I know about the other lady.
But not about this lady.
- Who's this? - He must mean Marina.
Yes, I'm sure he must.
I don't think you came to Prague because of a woman, Mr.
Lovejoy.
Not even because of a lady.
I think you came because of these.
Worth the air fare.
What do you know about these stones? Well, they look like they come from the Prague Sun, but when I saw it in the Loreto, it looked pretty intact.
But you didn't see it.
You saw a replica.
Oh, yes, Mr.
Lovejoy, I assure you I have the real one.
It came into my hands after the war, when I led a unit recovering hidden works of art.
But it was in pieces.
I was a rising star in the communist party so it wasn't difficult for me to find the finest craftsmen.
What I eventually restored to a grateful nation was a fake.
I'm sure that wasn't the only thing you didn't give back to a grateful nation.
These are things I've collected over a period of years.
- Stolen? - Acquired.
Redl, you're a collector, I'm a dealer.
You can't move this stuff in Czechoslovakia.
You can't sell it in the auction houses in the West.
What you need are private collectors who won't ask too many questions where the stuff comes from.
I know these people.
Together we could make some serious money.
- Lovejoy, there is a limit.
- Keep out of this, Jane.
Mr.
Lovejoy, my greatest asset is the Prague Sun.
But it's incomplete.
I've spent half my life looking for the missing diamonds.
I thought the trail might end in England.
But I was wrong.
Why d'you think I can help you? Because of the girl.
And the father is still alive.
Please.
You have a great deal to gain.
Not much good to you here like this, am I? You're free to go, Mr.
Lovejoy.
(Sighs) Could you order us a taxi? For you alone.
I think the lady should stay with us.
As insurance.
(Brakes screech) - (Grunts) - Ah! Lovejoy.
- OK? - (Sighs) (Crows caw) Couldn't we meet somewhere warm? I mean, haven't you got an office? Here I can be sure you are not followed.
Well, Redl made contact.
- This is good.
- No, it's not good.
He took a friend of mine hostage.
- A young man from England? - No, a young woman from England.
I did not ask you to involve any friends.
Where did he take you? I don't know.
It's underground, through tunnels.
Prague has many such places.
It's a medieval city.
And what does Redl want from you? He thinks I can find some missing diamonds.
- And can you? - I've got a lead, but it's a long shot.
- Follow it.
- Yeah.
Yeah, I've got something for you.
A a man called Funke.
- The same shop where Axel worked, yes? - Mm? I went to see him yesterday.
Today they picked me up.
Now, this may not be a coincidence.
We'll check this out.
You do that.
I'd like to get my friend out of there.
(Tram bell) Eric! - Where the hell have you been? - (Phone rings) - You won't believe me.
Is that the fax? - Yeah, it's just arrived.
- (Lovejoy) Who is this one on the end? - (Eric) I don't know.
He looks younger than the others, though, doesn't he? He's just a boy.
Or a girl.
Axel.
Marek.
And is this you? (Both speak Czech) Yes.
(Patient coughs) What - What? - (Chuckles) What's this on your coat? - Looks like gilt.
- It is gilt.
Eh? (Chiming) That's the sound, I'm sure of it.
- What you talking about? - Jane said it sounded like a fairground.
That's the sound, Eric, which means Redl's place is somewhere nearby and thanks to you I think I know how we get there.
Thanks to me? (Chimes) (Clocks ticking) (Chiming) - (Shop bell) - Mr.
Lovejoy! - We are closed.
- Not yet you're not.
Where are you going? - And what are you doing? - I'm his muscle.
If you don't leave, I shall call the police.
See this? Must have brushed up against this yesterday coming up from your cellar.
- Ow! - I don't know what you are talking about.
Oh, yes, you do.
This is the place.
I recognize the smell.
- (Thump) - Ugh! - Solid bit of chair, this.
- Very good, Eric.
- Want his gun? - Hm.
Where d'you reckon this entrance could be, eh? What d'you think? Secret book mechanism opens the bookshelf? Leave it out, Lovejoy.
Very good, Eric.
(Shop bell) (Shop bell) What is going on here? When you called, I told you to wait for me.
He was closing, love.
Even so, it is illegal entry and assault.
Back there is a door leading to Redl.
Now, I suggest you phone for some extra back-up.
You are right.
Your passport does less than justice to your talent.
Perhaps you should change "antique dealer" to "detective".
To Hercule Lovejoy? Doesn't quite cut, really, does it? Give me the phone.
What are you doing? The real police never saw my passport.
Whoever stole it killed Axel.
(Speaks Czech) And you, darling.
Eric? - Call the real police.
- But I don't speak Czech.
- What? - It just sounds like sneezing to me.
Call the hotel or embassy.
Find somebody who does.
And get 'em here quick.
(Dripping water) (Footsteps echo) (Redl) My pièce de résistance.
(Switch clicks) Very few have feasted their eyes on my collection.
And you're a man who can appreciate it.
You should be wearing a mask and playing the organ.
(Chuckles) You seem to have taken the initiative.
Well, I know that Funke's in with you and that Aneska is a phony cop.
It seemed a subtle approach.
We could find out what kind of a man you are and what you know about the diamonds without resorting to violence.
You must have had your fill of that in your lifetime.
The complication was a woman.
Your lady (Chuckles) Lady! She's charming.
We've had many a long talk.
Of course, you realize that your finding out about this place doesn't guarantee her safety or indeed yours.
She's not the reason I'm here.
I'm here for this.
Or at least my share when we become partners.
It's reassuring that you put greed before honor.
But there were other conditions to my offer.
Oh, I have the diamonds.
Or at least I know where they are.
I don't believe you.
Thought you'd say that.
So I brought a sample.
Oh, I'm not armed, Mr.
Redl.
Rose cut.
Seventeenth century.
(Clock ticks) (Chuckles) (Door clicks) Give our friend here a brandy.
Only two more shopping days left till Christmas, Janie.
I am waiting.
(Lovejoy sighs) Let me see.
Somehow you got on the trail of the diamonds.
Then about a year ago an old man died in some railway yards.
He led you to Axel and his diamonds.
Correct? We were very good to Axel.
We brought him to the city and we found him a job.
Only until he tracked down his old friend Marek.
But Axel left something out.
There'd been a fourth member of that student gang, a woman.
Axel and she were lovers.
You found this woman? That's where I got the diamond.
The rest are hidden.
I don't believe you.
And I am still waiting.
She walks first.
She won't say anything.
I'm your hostage now.
She can be on the plane to England tonight.
- No, Lovejoy, I'm not leaving here without - Yes, you will, Jane.
No, she's not going anywhere.
- I am still waiting.
- (Whispers) Come on, Eric.
Is that the British Embassy? Ah, great.
Can I speak to Sebastian Braikes urgently, please? Yeah, Eric Catchpole.
Catchpole.
(Beeping) There's someone in the shop.
(Beeping) (Shouting in Czech) (Squeals) Whoa! Whoa! Go ahead, Funke.
Make my day.
(Grunts and shouts) (Jane) Stop it! Stop it! - Get off! - Argh! (Smashing) - (Punching and shouting) - Help! - (Smash) - Help! Help! - (Punch) - Help! Help! - (Punching and grunting) - Please help! Help! - (Smash) - (Punch) ("Silent Night" in Czech) - (Carol continues) - (Chiming) (Carol continues) - Oh! - (Grunting) (Chiming) (Grunting) (Carol continues) Will you get off? Janie! Jane! (Carol continues) Get (Chiming) (Chimes) - (Toys rattle) - (Chiming) (Gasps) Is he dead? No.
- (Chiming) - He's just defenestrated.
Look.
- (Toy drums) - (Toy sheep bleating) (Speaks Czech) (Snorting) Oh (Creaks) (Organ plays) I wish to thank you for when I was in your home.
My father always talked of the kindness of the English.
Your father will get better.
They're very optimistic.
You will spend Christmas with Lovejoy? I hope so.
They're trying to get us on a flight tomorrow.
He's a very attractive man.
Suppose so.
Did you come to Prague because you love him? Well not exactly.
I came for the usual reason.
He was short of money.
Hm? (Speaks Czech) Amen.
(Whispers) No photos.
(Marek) We hid the diamonds to save them for our country.
When the communists took over, I suppose we thought one day we may buy our freedom.
(Footsteps) Now our country is free, it was time to give them back.
Lila buried hers with her first husband.
I don't think she thought she'd ever see freedom again.
I think you ought to have this.
Doesn't really belong to me, does it? From 6,000 stones they can spare one.
- (Footsteps) Lovejoy? Hm? Oh And a ho-ho-ho! (Tinker) Ho-ho-ho! (Lovejoy) Tinker! (Tinker) Lovejoy! - You weren't supposed to be here.
- I thought I was - I was filling in for you.
- (Chuckles) - So what's it like to be mobile again, hm? - Fine.
- (Raised voices) - But I think I'm still seeing double.
(Laughter) Lovejoy.
Hold it.