Space Ghost Coast to Coast (1993) s03e14 Episode Script
Art Show
I just don't know what to do, tad.
I'm at the end of my rope.
Uh, yeah, well
Everything was going so great.
Then the cartoon network calls me
up and says, "oh, sorry, Harvey,
but we're passing on your late night show."
Just like that, they clip my wings.
Look, Harvey, I really am sorry about your show, but
Sylvia's left me, you know, and so has falcon 7.
Soon as they heard, the two of them
just flew off faster than you can say,
"Biiiiiiirrrd maaaa"
Yeah, well Look, tad, can I borrow some money?
UhSorry, Harvey. No can do.
Please, tad.
My Hanna-barbera royalties ran out.
Look, harv, why don't you call frankenstein Jr.?
The guy's got cash galore.
I called frankenstein Jr.
Well, how about the herculoids?
Listen, I've called the herculoids.
They laughed at me, blobs and all.
Look, I'm sorry, Harvey, but I have a show to do here.
Sure, sure. Rub it in.
Thanks, pal. Thanks for nothing.
What?
Like you were going to lend him money?
Hello, and welcome to my nightmare.
It's Space Ghost coast to coast!
Tonight, performance artist Laurie Anderson.
And percussion group stomp.
Plus, zorak and the original way outs.
And now, here he is, he's behind the second set of double doors
after we go down this long hallway,
mt best friend Seth garden!
Ahem.
Bonsoir, citizens and citizenettes. I am Space Ghost.
The other white meat.
What?
UhNothing.
What is it with you anyway, zorak?
Uh, it's a mantis thing. You wouldn't understand.
Darn right I wouldn't, my little chucklebug.
Tonight we're going to experience yet another rip-roaring slab
of quality talk show entertainment.
Tonight, my guests are performance artist and downtown
musician type Laurie Anderson,
and noise-happy avant-garde percussion group,
stump
uh, stomp.
Hmm. Sounds arty-fartsy.
Cool!
Cool, nothing! Art and tv don't mix. Everybody knows that!
If people wanted to see art on tv, they'd they'd say, "hey!
You know, I want to see art on tv!"
Space Ghost that's what they'd say.
The desk?
Remember?
I know where the desk is!
Um, ok, I'm ready. Let's do it.
Look, everyone, it's Laurie Anderson, the art freak!
A real-life artistic type, right here on tv!
Welcome, citizen Anderson.
Are you getting enough oxygen?
Not at the moment, no. Are you?
Am I getting enough oxygen!
Did you hear that, Moltar?
Yeah, I heard.
Here's your air, lady.
So, Laurie, I hear you're an artist.
Sounds difficult.
It's hard to be an artist, don't you think?
Uh, yeah. Guess so.
Uh, look, Laurie, for the sake of my ratings,
could you please try not to
actually do any art on the show tonight? Ok.
Whew! Great.
As an "artiste,"
you must watch a lot of quality television,
like, uh, my show, for instance.
Hmm?
You know, the boob tube. You know,
I I absolutely never watch television.
Oh. You're one of those, are you?
"Let's stay home and read."
What's that?
I said that it says here that you work with computers a lot.
You know, I bought a computer once.
It tried to kill me.
I have 11 computers.
11? That's like it's like, one louder than 10.
One more than 10 would be the thing.
What's louder got to do with it?
I have a lot of equipment.
I probably have 100 remote controls.
Get out! That's way more than 11!
I have a lot.
Jeez! All right, you win.
Emasculator!
Space Ghost! You know a big word?
What, 11?
I can obviously ask you questions, too, right? Ok. Sure.
What's your favorite ice cream?
I like cake.
What's your favorite city?
I like cake.
What's your favorite organ?
I like
Uh, zorak, what do you think?
Well, this is the gold key xg5 3000.
With the sampler thingy, right?
Yes! Just listen.
die!
Die! Die!
die! Die! Die!
Die! Die! Die! Die! Die!
Die! Die! Die! Die! Die!
Pretty fancy, eh, Laurie?
Yeah, that's not bad.
Any more questions, Laurie?
You on-line? I like cake.
That's the thing I like most about being on-line invisibility.
Yeah, I can do that.
Oops, where did you go?
Hey! He's gone again, I'm so alone here.
For good, I hope.
Hey, Laurie! Moltar and I are on-line.
We talked to Larry storch in a chatroom once.
Good, ok, good.
My on-screen name is lonemantisoftheapocalypse @ghostplanet.Com.
My on-screen name is hotboy@ Uh,
somethin' somethin'.
Settle a bet for us.
Who created cyberspace?
Al Gore or sega?
It's not al Gore.
Ahhh, nuts!
It's Richard milhous Nixon.
No!
No!
No way!
He was the guy who cut the, you know, took the country off
the gold standard.
So after that, then money was abstract, it was nothing,
it was like, it was just numbers.
Once it becomes so
Behold!
Completely ethereal, then it can
be anything, then you can have,
like, the eighties happen, you know, which it did,
like, right away.
But you know that, it was that
those were, that was the first, uh, thing that, I think,
the invention of cyberspace was really about those banks
Behold!
I think it was a leap of faith for
people to put their money in there,
and think that it was doinggoing somewhere, you know?
I don't know.
You agree?
Sure it's free! Laurie's still down here.
Sure it's free! Laurie's still down here.
Are you done?
With what?
The interview?
I'm out here!
Yeah, I know, I got you on the monitor.
Uh, shall we go to break, or what?
Yeah, I know, I got you on the monitor.
Uh, shall we go to break, or what?
Break?
Oh.
Hey! Anybody need saving out here?
No, no, I think I'm ok.
Yeah, yeah, I'm ok.
Is she gone?
Yeah.
Ok, now.
We're going to talk with several members of team stomp.
And they're going to perform for us afterwards?
Yeah.
This better not be anything like
that Anderson hi. I'm Chad Chad?
My evil lunatic twin brother?
You grew a pony tail!
Uh, yeah, why not?
Oh, sorry.
I thoughti thought you were my Chad.
So, you're I am Chad kukahiko,
member of stomp and alien.
So why is your group called stomp?
Because what we do more often than anything else
is just smack things and stomp on things.
It's an onomatopoeia.
You can look that up in a dictionary
if you don't know what that means,
but it's sort of
It was bound to happen once today. Moltar?
Greetings, citizen. Thank you.
Please identify yourself to the universe.
I am ameenah kaplan.
Have you ever been in space before?
UhNo. Not that I can recall.
I mean, perhaps in my sleep, the aliens, they come, whatever
but not that I can recall.
So can you explain to me why you are called stomp?
Because we stomp on the ground with our feet.
Hey, I get it now!
They stomp on the ground with their feet!
And people pay to see that?
Yes.
So what superpowers do you have?
So what superpowers do you have?
My superpowers?
I haveI can None.
I was going to lie.
Good for you!
No, I was going to lie, you see, but, you know, I decided
just to tell the truth.
Eww. Suck-up!
So what role do you play in stomp?
Uh, I hit things really hard.
Could you give us a sample of what
you'll all be doing for us later?
You mean like a circus animal?
Like, just to start performing?
Yes, exactly like a circus animal.
You have some balls? I can juggle and stand on one foot?
You bet.
Ladies and gentlemen, mitzi, the dancing elephant!
Matchbox, matchbox, matchbox, matchbox,
matchbox, matchbox, matchbox
matchbox, matchbox, matchbox, matchbox, matchbox, matchbox,
matchbox, matchbox, matchbox This is boring.
Is this all they do?
That's about the extent of it, yeah.
I'm going back out.
You want me to shut everything off when we're done?
Uh-huh, shut everything off when you're done.
Should we try to escape when you're gone?
Huh?
Me and Moltar. Him and me, should we try to escape?
OhUm.No don't escape where are you going, anyway?
Hold on.
Are they done?
Ummmmm
No.
I'm going back out.
Should I roll credits?
Yeah, what the hey?
Yeah, I I already did it.
OhGood job.
Where are you going, anyway?
Can I ask that, or is it personal?
Oh, I don't know.
Out there
Somewhere.
Anywhere near a video store?
Maybe.
Could you return something for me if I gave it to you?
Sure.
You want I should bring something back?
Yeah, the spawning! Get the spawning!
I'm not going to get the spawning.
What is the one yeah, you know the
one with the 3 guys and the baby?
No! Don't get that!
UhGuttenberg?
I'm at the end of my rope.
Uh, yeah, well
Everything was going so great.
Then the cartoon network calls me
up and says, "oh, sorry, Harvey,
but we're passing on your late night show."
Just like that, they clip my wings.
Look, Harvey, I really am sorry about your show, but
Sylvia's left me, you know, and so has falcon 7.
Soon as they heard, the two of them
just flew off faster than you can say,
"Biiiiiiirrrd maaaa"
Yeah, well Look, tad, can I borrow some money?
UhSorry, Harvey. No can do.
Please, tad.
My Hanna-barbera royalties ran out.
Look, harv, why don't you call frankenstein Jr.?
The guy's got cash galore.
I called frankenstein Jr.
Well, how about the herculoids?
Listen, I've called the herculoids.
They laughed at me, blobs and all.
Look, I'm sorry, Harvey, but I have a show to do here.
Sure, sure. Rub it in.
Thanks, pal. Thanks for nothing.
What?
Like you were going to lend him money?
Hello, and welcome to my nightmare.
It's Space Ghost coast to coast!
Tonight, performance artist Laurie Anderson.
And percussion group stomp.
Plus, zorak and the original way outs.
And now, here he is, he's behind the second set of double doors
after we go down this long hallway,
mt best friend Seth garden!
Ahem.
Bonsoir, citizens and citizenettes. I am Space Ghost.
The other white meat.
What?
UhNothing.
What is it with you anyway, zorak?
Uh, it's a mantis thing. You wouldn't understand.
Darn right I wouldn't, my little chucklebug.
Tonight we're going to experience yet another rip-roaring slab
of quality talk show entertainment.
Tonight, my guests are performance artist and downtown
musician type Laurie Anderson,
and noise-happy avant-garde percussion group,
stump
uh, stomp.
Hmm. Sounds arty-fartsy.
Cool!
Cool, nothing! Art and tv don't mix. Everybody knows that!
If people wanted to see art on tv, they'd they'd say, "hey!
You know, I want to see art on tv!"
Space Ghost that's what they'd say.
The desk?
Remember?
I know where the desk is!
Um, ok, I'm ready. Let's do it.
Look, everyone, it's Laurie Anderson, the art freak!
A real-life artistic type, right here on tv!
Welcome, citizen Anderson.
Are you getting enough oxygen?
Not at the moment, no. Are you?
Am I getting enough oxygen!
Did you hear that, Moltar?
Yeah, I heard.
Here's your air, lady.
So, Laurie, I hear you're an artist.
Sounds difficult.
It's hard to be an artist, don't you think?
Uh, yeah. Guess so.
Uh, look, Laurie, for the sake of my ratings,
could you please try not to
actually do any art on the show tonight? Ok.
Whew! Great.
As an "artiste,"
you must watch a lot of quality television,
like, uh, my show, for instance.
Hmm?
You know, the boob tube. You know,
I I absolutely never watch television.
Oh. You're one of those, are you?
"Let's stay home and read."
What's that?
I said that it says here that you work with computers a lot.
You know, I bought a computer once.
It tried to kill me.
I have 11 computers.
11? That's like it's like, one louder than 10.
One more than 10 would be the thing.
What's louder got to do with it?
I have a lot of equipment.
I probably have 100 remote controls.
Get out! That's way more than 11!
I have a lot.
Jeez! All right, you win.
Emasculator!
Space Ghost! You know a big word?
What, 11?
I can obviously ask you questions, too, right? Ok. Sure.
What's your favorite ice cream?
I like cake.
What's your favorite city?
I like cake.
What's your favorite organ?
I like
Uh, zorak, what do you think?
Well, this is the gold key xg5 3000.
With the sampler thingy, right?
Yes! Just listen.
die!
Die! Die!
die! Die! Die!
Die! Die! Die! Die! Die!
Die! Die! Die! Die! Die!
Pretty fancy, eh, Laurie?
Yeah, that's not bad.
Any more questions, Laurie?
You on-line? I like cake.
That's the thing I like most about being on-line invisibility.
Yeah, I can do that.
Oops, where did you go?
Hey! He's gone again, I'm so alone here.
For good, I hope.
Hey, Laurie! Moltar and I are on-line.
We talked to Larry storch in a chatroom once.
Good, ok, good.
My on-screen name is lonemantisoftheapocalypse @ghostplanet.Com.
My on-screen name is hotboy@ Uh,
somethin' somethin'.
Settle a bet for us.
Who created cyberspace?
Al Gore or sega?
It's not al Gore.
Ahhh, nuts!
It's Richard milhous Nixon.
No!
No!
No way!
He was the guy who cut the, you know, took the country off
the gold standard.
So after that, then money was abstract, it was nothing,
it was like, it was just numbers.
Once it becomes so
Behold!
Completely ethereal, then it can
be anything, then you can have,
like, the eighties happen, you know, which it did,
like, right away.
But you know that, it was that
those were, that was the first, uh, thing that, I think,
the invention of cyberspace was really about those banks
Behold!
I think it was a leap of faith for
people to put their money in there,
and think that it was doinggoing somewhere, you know?
I don't know.
You agree?
Sure it's free! Laurie's still down here.
Sure it's free! Laurie's still down here.
Are you done?
With what?
The interview?
I'm out here!
Yeah, I know, I got you on the monitor.
Uh, shall we go to break, or what?
Yeah, I know, I got you on the monitor.
Uh, shall we go to break, or what?
Break?
Oh.
Hey! Anybody need saving out here?
No, no, I think I'm ok.
Yeah, yeah, I'm ok.
Is she gone?
Yeah.
Ok, now.
We're going to talk with several members of team stomp.
And they're going to perform for us afterwards?
Yeah.
This better not be anything like
that Anderson hi. I'm Chad Chad?
My evil lunatic twin brother?
You grew a pony tail!
Uh, yeah, why not?
Oh, sorry.
I thoughti thought you were my Chad.
So, you're I am Chad kukahiko,
member of stomp and alien.
So why is your group called stomp?
Because what we do more often than anything else
is just smack things and stomp on things.
It's an onomatopoeia.
You can look that up in a dictionary
if you don't know what that means,
but it's sort of
It was bound to happen once today. Moltar?
Greetings, citizen. Thank you.
Please identify yourself to the universe.
I am ameenah kaplan.
Have you ever been in space before?
UhNo. Not that I can recall.
I mean, perhaps in my sleep, the aliens, they come, whatever
but not that I can recall.
So can you explain to me why you are called stomp?
Because we stomp on the ground with our feet.
Hey, I get it now!
They stomp on the ground with their feet!
And people pay to see that?
Yes.
So what superpowers do you have?
So what superpowers do you have?
My superpowers?
I haveI can None.
I was going to lie.
Good for you!
No, I was going to lie, you see, but, you know, I decided
just to tell the truth.
Eww. Suck-up!
So what role do you play in stomp?
Uh, I hit things really hard.
Could you give us a sample of what
you'll all be doing for us later?
You mean like a circus animal?
Like, just to start performing?
Yes, exactly like a circus animal.
You have some balls? I can juggle and stand on one foot?
You bet.
Ladies and gentlemen, mitzi, the dancing elephant!
Matchbox, matchbox, matchbox, matchbox,
matchbox, matchbox, matchbox
matchbox, matchbox, matchbox, matchbox, matchbox, matchbox,
matchbox, matchbox, matchbox This is boring.
Is this all they do?
That's about the extent of it, yeah.
I'm going back out.
You want me to shut everything off when we're done?
Uh-huh, shut everything off when you're done.
Should we try to escape when you're gone?
Huh?
Me and Moltar. Him and me, should we try to escape?
OhUm.No don't escape where are you going, anyway?
Hold on.
Are they done?
Ummmmm
No.
I'm going back out.
Should I roll credits?
Yeah, what the hey?
Yeah, I I already did it.
OhGood job.
Where are you going, anyway?
Can I ask that, or is it personal?
Oh, I don't know.
Out there
Somewhere.
Anywhere near a video store?
Maybe.
Could you return something for me if I gave it to you?
Sure.
You want I should bring something back?
Yeah, the spawning! Get the spawning!
I'm not going to get the spawning.
What is the one yeah, you know the
one with the 3 guys and the baby?
No! Don't get that!
UhGuttenberg?