The Twilight Zone (1985) s03e14 Episode Script
The Trunk
Narrator: IT'S BEEN SAID THAT ALL GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT.
THIS IS WILLIE GARDNER, A MAN WHOSE LIFETIME OF WAITING IS ABOUT TO END.
(cat meowing) (whispers): MR.
MURRAY, ARE YOU A GOOD KITTY? ARE YOU A GOOD KITTY? ARE YOU A GOOD BOY, MR.
MURRAY? GOOD BOY.
YOU HAVE A NICE DAY NOW.
WILLIE GARDNER, A MAN WITH LIMITED SPACE, LIMITED HORIZONS AND LIMITED CONTACT WITH HUMANITY.
PEOPLE FLOAT IN AND OUT OF HIS LIFE LIKE FLOTSAM AND JETSAM, WASHING UP ON THE BEACH.
BUT THE LAW OF SALVAGE IS ABOUT TO CHANGE ALL THAT.
TODAY, WILLIE IS GOING TO FIND SOMETHING VERY VALUABLE ON HIS PARTICULAR BEACH IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE.
(phone ringing) (snoring) HI, WILLIE.
OH, HI.
CANDY.
CANDY RIGHT.
I WAS JUST WONDERING, WILLIE.
YOU DON'T MIND THAT I CALL YOU WILLIE, DO YOU? NO, I DON'T MIND.
I WAS JUST WONDERING IF IF YOU'D LIKE TO GO FOR A WALK, TAKE IN A MOVIE.
SOMETHING NICE.
YOU MEAN, GO OUT? ME AND YOU? YEAH.
I DON'T GET IT.
I MEAN WE DON'T EVEN TALK, OTHER THAN YOU NEED CHANGE FOR THE PAY PHONE OR SOMETHING.
(laughing) WELL, SOMETIMES IT TAKES TIME TO GET TO KNOW SOMEONE.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? I DON'T KNOW.
WELL, OKAY.
IF THAT'S THE WAY YOU FEEL.
NO, WAIT.
HEY I REALLY WOULD LIKE TO GO OUT WITH YOU.
THAT'D BE REAL NICE.
YEAH, REALLY? WE COULD GO FOR A WALK.
HOW ABOUT TONIGHT? YEAH, SURE.
AS LONG AS YOU GOT (laughing) WILLIE, WILLIE.
NOBODY RIDES FOR FREE, WILLIE.
HA, HA.
VERY FUNNY.
CHECKOUT TIME, 12:00.
CHECKOUT TIME, DROP DEAD.
GOOD MORNING, MRS.
KUDABA.
HOW ARE YOU TODAY? GOOD MORNING.
I'M JUST FINE, MR.
GARDNER.
AND HOW ARE YOU? FINE, THANK YOU.
ABOUT THE RENT I'M SORRY I'M LATE AGAIN IT'S OKAY BUT YOU SEE, MY CHECKS IS LATE.
I UNDERSTAND.
MRS.
KUDABA, DOES IT EVER BOTHER YOU, I MEAN, BEING AROUND ALL THESE ONE-NIGHTERS? WHERE CAN I MOVE ON MY SOCIAL SECURITY? YEAH, I GUESS SO.
MRS.
KUDABA, YEAH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE RENT.
IF THE LANDLORD ASKS FOR IT AGAIN I'LL COVER FOR YOU.
AHH SUCH A NICE BOY, WILLIE.
YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU SHOULD FIND A NICE GIRL, GET MARRIED, HAVE SOME KIDS.
UNFORTUNATELY, I DON'T GET TO MEET MANY NICE GIRLS AROUND HERE, MRS.
KUDABA.
WELL, THAT'S A SHAME.
THAT'S ALL I CAN SAY.
NAH, IT'S ALL RIGHT.
IT'S NO PROBLEM.
BYE.
CHECKOUT TIME, GET LOST.
CHECKOUT TIME BOY I WISH I HAD A NICKEL FOR EVERY OLD PIECE OF LUGGAGE EVER LEFT IN THIS HOTEL.
101, 102, 103 THIS IS GOING TO TAKE FOREVER.
WAIT A MINUTE.
I WISH I WISH I WISH I HAD AN ICE-COLD ROOT BEER-- JUST LIKE I USED TO HAVE WHEN I WAS A KID.
THIS IS GREAT.
MMMM.
WHAT DO I NEED YOU GUYS FOR? I CAN HAVE ANYTHING I WANT.
(sultry saxophone music plays) AND THIS IS MY NEW BEDSPREAD.
IT'S WHAT THEY CALL A BLEND.
IT'S 50 % SOMETHING AND 50 % SOMETHING ELSE.
BUT YOU'D BE SURPRISED.
IT ALMOST FEELS LIKE REAL FUR.
MARY, I DON'T MEAN TO BE RUDE BUT I'M EXPECTING SOME OTHER GUESTS.
(knocking) HEY.
WILLIE? HOW'S IT GOING? FINE, DANNY.
JUST FINE.
THANKS FOR COMING.
HI, CANDY.
HI, WILLIE.
THANKS FOR INVITING US.
(whispering) HEY, WILLIE, WHAT'S A GIRL GOT TO DO TO GET A DRINK AROUND HERE? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? IT'S NOT FOR THE TV.
IT'S BUSTED.
NO, IT'S NOT FOR THE TV.
IT'S FOR THE STEREO.
IT'S NOT BUSTED.
WATCH.
VOLUME UP.
(volume rises) VOLUME DOWN.
(volume lowers) VOLUME UP.
(volume rises) VOLUME DOWN.
(volume lowers) HEY, WILLIE, THAT'S A REAL COOL STEREO, MAN.
HOW COME I'VE NEVER SEEN IT BEFORE? OH, WELL, MAYBE YOU JUST NEVER NOTICED IT BEFORE.
YOU NEVER HAD NO PARTY BEFORE.
WELL, THAT COULD BE IT.
(laughs) (laughs) YOU'RE A FUNNY GUY, WILLIE.
I NEVER KNEW THAT ABOUT YOU.
WELL, THERE'S A LOT YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT ME.
WILLIE, YOU SON OF A GUN.
YOU REALLY KNOW YOUR WINE.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
NO, FOR REAL! IT'S GOT A REAL BOUQUET.
THANKS.
IT'S POSITIVELY LOUSY WITH BOUQUET.
LISTEN, IF YOU LIKE IT THAT MUCH, WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A BOTTLE WHEN YOU'RE READY TO LEAVE? NO KIDDING? SURE, TAKE TWO, IF YOU LIKE.
GEE, THANKS.
HEY, THAT'S REALLY GENEROUS OF YOU, WILLIE.
AH, IT'S NOTHING.
YOU'RE A PRINCE, OLD BUDDY.
I HOPE YOU'RE NOT LEAVING NOW.
YO, WILLIE, THAT SUCKER JUST TOOK THE LAST THREE BOTTLES OF WINE.
OH OH, NO.
OH, IT'S OKAY.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
NO, PLEASE, CALM DOWN, EVERYBODY.
THERE'S PLENTY MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM.
MORE WINE.
I'LL GO GET IT.
OH, I'LL GO WITH YOU.
NO, NO, THAT'S OKAY.
YOU STAY HERE AND ENJOY YOURSELF.
I'LL JUST BE A MINUTE.
I WISH I HAD ANOTHER CASE OF MY FAVORITE SPARKLING CHAMPAGNE.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
(uptempo soul music plays) GOOD EVENING, MRS.
KUDABA.
OH, HELLO, MR.
GARDNER.
SOUNDS LIKE YOU HAVE LOTS OF FUN DOWN THERE IN YOUR PLACE.
OH, WE ARE.
WHY DON'T YOU COME ON DOWN AND JOIN US? NOTHING PERSONAL, BUT SOME OF YOUR FRIENDS ARE HOODLUMS.
OH, THEY'RE NOT SO BAD.
COME ON DOWN.
HAVE SOME FUN.
NO, I'M TOO OLD FOR THAT KIND OF THINGS.
OKAY, SUIT YOURSELF.
GOOD NIGHT, MR.
GARDNER.
GOOD NIGHT, MRS.
KUDABA.
(uptempo music continues) (indistinct conversations) IT'S KIND OF STUFFY IN HERE.
WHY DON'T WE GO SOMEPLACE WHERE WE CAN TALK? OKAY.
(sighs) (distant siren wails) IT'S REAL PRETTY OUT HERE, ISN'T IT? REALLY PRETTY.
KIND OF MAKES YOU FORGET WHAT'S OUT THERE ON THE STREETS.
CANDY-- WHAT IS THAT SHORT FOR? BEATS ME.
MY REAL NAME'S NOT CANDY, IT'S LISSA.
CANDY'S JUST MY STREET NAME.
(chuckles) YOU THINK THAT'S FUNNY? OH, NO, I LIKE IT.
WHAT? LISSA? WELL, YEAH.
THAT, TOO.
BUT I MEAN, I REALLY LIKE THAT YOU TOLD ME YOUR REAL NAME.
YEAH, WELL LISTEN, WILLIE.
WHAT'S A NICE GUY LIKE YOU DOING WITHOUT A GIRLFRIEND? DON'T YOU LIKE GIRLS? I LIKE YOU.
YEAH? WELL, MAYBE THAT COULD WORK OUT.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? NOT REALLY.
WELL, I COULD BE NICE TO YOU AND YOU COULD BE NICE TO ME.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
WELL, YOU KNOW.
YOU COULD TAKE ME OUT AND BUY ME THINGS GET ME A NICE PLACE TO LIVE? HMM.
BUY YOU THINGS.
GET YOU A NICE PLACE TO LIVE.
YEAH! YOU COULD EVEN STAY THERE SOMETIMES.
SOUNDS NICE, HUH? CANDY, UH LISSA CANDY.
I'M NOT JUST LOOKING FOR A GIRLFRIEND.
I'M LOOKING FOR SOMEONE WHO LIKES ME FOR MYSELF NOT JUST FOR THE STUFF THAT I OWN.
HEY, DON'T GET ME WRONG.
(glass breaking) WILLIE? LET'S GO BACK TO THE PARTY.
COME ON.
(rock music playing) HEY, WHERE YOU BEEN, MAN? YOU WANT A TOOTHPICK, WILLIE? YOU THROW A GREAT PARTY, WILLIE! YO, WILLIE! HOW DID IT GO? (glass breaking) HEY, WILLIE! I WAS CHECKING OUT YOUR TV SET.
GREAT COLOR! NOW, UH, I WAS WONDERING THERE'S THIS BIG GAME ON TOMORROW NIGHT AND COULD I BORROW IT? JUST FOR THE DAY, YOU UNDERSTAND.
KEEP IT.
YOU SERIOUS? SERIOUS.
TAKE IT.
YOU GOT IT, MY MAN! THANKS, MAN! SURE.
HEY, WILLIE? DID YOU JUST GIVE HIM THAT TV? YEAH.
WHAT'S IT TO YOU? WHY DON'T YOU GIVE ME THE STEREO THEN? BE MY GUEST.
REALLY? DAMN! (music stops) REAL MUSIC, ALL RIGHT! THANKS, WILLIE.
Guy: HEY, WILLIE, HOW ABOUT THIS VASE? Girl: WHAT'S GOING ON? (indistinct voices) TAKE 'EM.
GO AHEAD.
ALL OF YOU, KNOCK YOURSELVES OUT.
TAKE WHATEVER YOU WANT.
AND THEN JUST LEAVE ME ALONE, OKAY? (cat meowing) HI YOU'RE STILL MY FRIEND, AREN'T YOU? (meow) WELL, AT LEAST YOU'RE HONEST ABOUT IT.
HEY, WILLIE! PARTY'S OVER? WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU GENTLEMEN? THAT DEPENDS.
DEPENDS ON WHAT? ON WHAT YOU GOT.
I DON'TGOTANYTHING.
IT'S LATE.
I APPRECIATE YOUR DROPPING BY.
HEY! YOU SHOULDN'T BE SO RUDE TO YOUR FRIENDS, WILLIE.
YOU'RE NOT MY FRIENDS.
LOOK, YOU GUYS DON'T FOOL ME ANYMORE.
WATCH YOUR MOUTH! KEEP AN EYE ON HIM.
HEY, GET OUT OF THERE! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? STAY PUT! WATCH YOUR STEP! WHAT ARE YOU GUYS LOOKING FOR? FOR OUR PIECE OF WHATEVER YOU GOT GOING! I AIN'T GOT NOTHING GOING.
WILLIE, WILLIE.
NOW LOOK, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU KNOCKED OVER A BANK OR WHAT, BUT WE WANTOUR CUT OF THE ACTION! NOTHING.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU GUYS ARE TALKING ABOUT.
OH? WAIT.
ARE YOU CALLING ME A LIAR? DID WILLIE HERE JUST CALL ME A LIAR? SOUNDED LIKE IT TO ME.
THIS INSULTS ME, WILLIE.
I DO NOT LIKE WHEN PEOPLE CALL ME A LIAR! WILLIE! NOW LOOK I'M GOING TO MAKE THIS REAL SIMPLE FOR YOU, WILLIE.
YOU COME ACROSS WITH WHATEVER IT IS THAT YOU GOT, OR I WILL CUT YOUR HEART OUT AND SHOW IT TO YOU BEFORE YOU HIT THE GROUND! OKAY, OKAY.
I GET THE IDEA.
SMART BOY, WILLIE.
NOW WHAT DO YOU GOT FOR US? I GOTTHISFOR YOU! GET HIM! COME ON! COME ON! HE WENT THIS WAY! THIS WAY! COME ON! YOU'RE DEAD MEAT! YOU ARE A CORPSE! HEY, HEY, YOU GUYS! WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE? Mrs.
Kudaba: I CALL THE COPS! OPEN UP, WILLIE! OPEN UP! HEY, YOU GUYS.
COME ON, IT'S OKAY.
LET'S JUST GO.
(indistinct voices) IT'S NOT HERE.
(police siren) I CAN'T TAKE ANOTHER FALL, MAN.
I'M STILL ON PAROLE.
YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN, DANNY.
I'M OUT OF HERE.
HEY! WHERE DID THE GUY GO? HE CAN'T JUST DISAPPEAR! PHEW! THANK YOU.
THANK YOU FOR WORKING.
PHEW.
HEY! HEY! HEY, OPEN UP! HEY HEY! HEY, OP! (phone ringing) HELLO? OH, HI, MOM.
HOW ARE YOU? MOM, I'LL BE OKAY.
I'M NOT THE FIRST GIRL TO GET DUMPED FOR SOMEONE ELSE.
CAN'T WE TALK ABOUT THIS LATER? BESIDES I THINK WE'VE DISCUSSED THIS TOPIC A FEW HUNDRED TIMES.
YOU DON'T THINK I WANT TO FIND A DECENT GUY TO SPEND MY LIFE WITH? IWISH! I'LL CALL YOU LATER, MOM.
BYE.
Narrator: WILLIE GARDNER A SIMPLE MAN WHO DISCOVERED IN A STEAMER TRUNK THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN POSSESSIONS AND REAL WEALTH.
ONCE ADRIFT IN A SEA OF HUMANITY, HE'S FINALLY FOUND A SAFE HARBOR IN A PORT OF CALL KNOWN AS THE TWILIGHT ZONE.
THIS IS WILLIE GARDNER, A MAN WHOSE LIFETIME OF WAITING IS ABOUT TO END.
(cat meowing) (whispers): MR.
MURRAY, ARE YOU A GOOD KITTY? ARE YOU A GOOD KITTY? ARE YOU A GOOD BOY, MR.
MURRAY? GOOD BOY.
YOU HAVE A NICE DAY NOW.
WILLIE GARDNER, A MAN WITH LIMITED SPACE, LIMITED HORIZONS AND LIMITED CONTACT WITH HUMANITY.
PEOPLE FLOAT IN AND OUT OF HIS LIFE LIKE FLOTSAM AND JETSAM, WASHING UP ON THE BEACH.
BUT THE LAW OF SALVAGE IS ABOUT TO CHANGE ALL THAT.
TODAY, WILLIE IS GOING TO FIND SOMETHING VERY VALUABLE ON HIS PARTICULAR BEACH IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE.
(phone ringing) (snoring) HI, WILLIE.
OH, HI.
CANDY.
CANDY RIGHT.
I WAS JUST WONDERING, WILLIE.
YOU DON'T MIND THAT I CALL YOU WILLIE, DO YOU? NO, I DON'T MIND.
I WAS JUST WONDERING IF IF YOU'D LIKE TO GO FOR A WALK, TAKE IN A MOVIE.
SOMETHING NICE.
YOU MEAN, GO OUT? ME AND YOU? YEAH.
I DON'T GET IT.
I MEAN WE DON'T EVEN TALK, OTHER THAN YOU NEED CHANGE FOR THE PAY PHONE OR SOMETHING.
(laughing) WELL, SOMETIMES IT TAKES TIME TO GET TO KNOW SOMEONE.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? I DON'T KNOW.
WELL, OKAY.
IF THAT'S THE WAY YOU FEEL.
NO, WAIT.
HEY I REALLY WOULD LIKE TO GO OUT WITH YOU.
THAT'D BE REAL NICE.
YEAH, REALLY? WE COULD GO FOR A WALK.
HOW ABOUT TONIGHT? YEAH, SURE.
AS LONG AS YOU GOT (laughing) WILLIE, WILLIE.
NOBODY RIDES FOR FREE, WILLIE.
HA, HA.
VERY FUNNY.
CHECKOUT TIME, 12:00.
CHECKOUT TIME, DROP DEAD.
GOOD MORNING, MRS.
KUDABA.
HOW ARE YOU TODAY? GOOD MORNING.
I'M JUST FINE, MR.
GARDNER.
AND HOW ARE YOU? FINE, THANK YOU.
ABOUT THE RENT I'M SORRY I'M LATE AGAIN IT'S OKAY BUT YOU SEE, MY CHECKS IS LATE.
I UNDERSTAND.
MRS.
KUDABA, DOES IT EVER BOTHER YOU, I MEAN, BEING AROUND ALL THESE ONE-NIGHTERS? WHERE CAN I MOVE ON MY SOCIAL SECURITY? YEAH, I GUESS SO.
MRS.
KUDABA, YEAH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE RENT.
IF THE LANDLORD ASKS FOR IT AGAIN I'LL COVER FOR YOU.
AHH SUCH A NICE BOY, WILLIE.
YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU SHOULD FIND A NICE GIRL, GET MARRIED, HAVE SOME KIDS.
UNFORTUNATELY, I DON'T GET TO MEET MANY NICE GIRLS AROUND HERE, MRS.
KUDABA.
WELL, THAT'S A SHAME.
THAT'S ALL I CAN SAY.
NAH, IT'S ALL RIGHT.
IT'S NO PROBLEM.
BYE.
CHECKOUT TIME, GET LOST.
CHECKOUT TIME BOY I WISH I HAD A NICKEL FOR EVERY OLD PIECE OF LUGGAGE EVER LEFT IN THIS HOTEL.
101, 102, 103 THIS IS GOING TO TAKE FOREVER.
WAIT A MINUTE.
I WISH I WISH I WISH I HAD AN ICE-COLD ROOT BEER-- JUST LIKE I USED TO HAVE WHEN I WAS A KID.
THIS IS GREAT.
MMMM.
WHAT DO I NEED YOU GUYS FOR? I CAN HAVE ANYTHING I WANT.
(sultry saxophone music plays) AND THIS IS MY NEW BEDSPREAD.
IT'S WHAT THEY CALL A BLEND.
IT'S 50 % SOMETHING AND 50 % SOMETHING ELSE.
BUT YOU'D BE SURPRISED.
IT ALMOST FEELS LIKE REAL FUR.
MARY, I DON'T MEAN TO BE RUDE BUT I'M EXPECTING SOME OTHER GUESTS.
(knocking) HEY.
WILLIE? HOW'S IT GOING? FINE, DANNY.
JUST FINE.
THANKS FOR COMING.
HI, CANDY.
HI, WILLIE.
THANKS FOR INVITING US.
(whispering) HEY, WILLIE, WHAT'S A GIRL GOT TO DO TO GET A DRINK AROUND HERE? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? IT'S NOT FOR THE TV.
IT'S BUSTED.
NO, IT'S NOT FOR THE TV.
IT'S FOR THE STEREO.
IT'S NOT BUSTED.
WATCH.
VOLUME UP.
(volume rises) VOLUME DOWN.
(volume lowers) VOLUME UP.
(volume rises) VOLUME DOWN.
(volume lowers) HEY, WILLIE, THAT'S A REAL COOL STEREO, MAN.
HOW COME I'VE NEVER SEEN IT BEFORE? OH, WELL, MAYBE YOU JUST NEVER NOTICED IT BEFORE.
YOU NEVER HAD NO PARTY BEFORE.
WELL, THAT COULD BE IT.
(laughs) (laughs) YOU'RE A FUNNY GUY, WILLIE.
I NEVER KNEW THAT ABOUT YOU.
WELL, THERE'S A LOT YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT ME.
WILLIE, YOU SON OF A GUN.
YOU REALLY KNOW YOUR WINE.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
NO, FOR REAL! IT'S GOT A REAL BOUQUET.
THANKS.
IT'S POSITIVELY LOUSY WITH BOUQUET.
LISTEN, IF YOU LIKE IT THAT MUCH, WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A BOTTLE WHEN YOU'RE READY TO LEAVE? NO KIDDING? SURE, TAKE TWO, IF YOU LIKE.
GEE, THANKS.
HEY, THAT'S REALLY GENEROUS OF YOU, WILLIE.
AH, IT'S NOTHING.
YOU'RE A PRINCE, OLD BUDDY.
I HOPE YOU'RE NOT LEAVING NOW.
YO, WILLIE, THAT SUCKER JUST TOOK THE LAST THREE BOTTLES OF WINE.
OH OH, NO.
OH, IT'S OKAY.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
NO, PLEASE, CALM DOWN, EVERYBODY.
THERE'S PLENTY MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM.
MORE WINE.
I'LL GO GET IT.
OH, I'LL GO WITH YOU.
NO, NO, THAT'S OKAY.
YOU STAY HERE AND ENJOY YOURSELF.
I'LL JUST BE A MINUTE.
I WISH I HAD ANOTHER CASE OF MY FAVORITE SPARKLING CHAMPAGNE.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
(uptempo soul music plays) GOOD EVENING, MRS.
KUDABA.
OH, HELLO, MR.
GARDNER.
SOUNDS LIKE YOU HAVE LOTS OF FUN DOWN THERE IN YOUR PLACE.
OH, WE ARE.
WHY DON'T YOU COME ON DOWN AND JOIN US? NOTHING PERSONAL, BUT SOME OF YOUR FRIENDS ARE HOODLUMS.
OH, THEY'RE NOT SO BAD.
COME ON DOWN.
HAVE SOME FUN.
NO, I'M TOO OLD FOR THAT KIND OF THINGS.
OKAY, SUIT YOURSELF.
GOOD NIGHT, MR.
GARDNER.
GOOD NIGHT, MRS.
KUDABA.
(uptempo music continues) (indistinct conversations) IT'S KIND OF STUFFY IN HERE.
WHY DON'T WE GO SOMEPLACE WHERE WE CAN TALK? OKAY.
(sighs) (distant siren wails) IT'S REAL PRETTY OUT HERE, ISN'T IT? REALLY PRETTY.
KIND OF MAKES YOU FORGET WHAT'S OUT THERE ON THE STREETS.
CANDY-- WHAT IS THAT SHORT FOR? BEATS ME.
MY REAL NAME'S NOT CANDY, IT'S LISSA.
CANDY'S JUST MY STREET NAME.
(chuckles) YOU THINK THAT'S FUNNY? OH, NO, I LIKE IT.
WHAT? LISSA? WELL, YEAH.
THAT, TOO.
BUT I MEAN, I REALLY LIKE THAT YOU TOLD ME YOUR REAL NAME.
YEAH, WELL LISTEN, WILLIE.
WHAT'S A NICE GUY LIKE YOU DOING WITHOUT A GIRLFRIEND? DON'T YOU LIKE GIRLS? I LIKE YOU.
YEAH? WELL, MAYBE THAT COULD WORK OUT.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? NOT REALLY.
WELL, I COULD BE NICE TO YOU AND YOU COULD BE NICE TO ME.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
WELL, YOU KNOW.
YOU COULD TAKE ME OUT AND BUY ME THINGS GET ME A NICE PLACE TO LIVE? HMM.
BUY YOU THINGS.
GET YOU A NICE PLACE TO LIVE.
YEAH! YOU COULD EVEN STAY THERE SOMETIMES.
SOUNDS NICE, HUH? CANDY, UH LISSA CANDY.
I'M NOT JUST LOOKING FOR A GIRLFRIEND.
I'M LOOKING FOR SOMEONE WHO LIKES ME FOR MYSELF NOT JUST FOR THE STUFF THAT I OWN.
HEY, DON'T GET ME WRONG.
(glass breaking) WILLIE? LET'S GO BACK TO THE PARTY.
COME ON.
(rock music playing) HEY, WHERE YOU BEEN, MAN? YOU WANT A TOOTHPICK, WILLIE? YOU THROW A GREAT PARTY, WILLIE! YO, WILLIE! HOW DID IT GO? (glass breaking) HEY, WILLIE! I WAS CHECKING OUT YOUR TV SET.
GREAT COLOR! NOW, UH, I WAS WONDERING THERE'S THIS BIG GAME ON TOMORROW NIGHT AND COULD I BORROW IT? JUST FOR THE DAY, YOU UNDERSTAND.
KEEP IT.
YOU SERIOUS? SERIOUS.
TAKE IT.
YOU GOT IT, MY MAN! THANKS, MAN! SURE.
HEY, WILLIE? DID YOU JUST GIVE HIM THAT TV? YEAH.
WHAT'S IT TO YOU? WHY DON'T YOU GIVE ME THE STEREO THEN? BE MY GUEST.
REALLY? DAMN! (music stops) REAL MUSIC, ALL RIGHT! THANKS, WILLIE.
Guy: HEY, WILLIE, HOW ABOUT THIS VASE? Girl: WHAT'S GOING ON? (indistinct voices) TAKE 'EM.
GO AHEAD.
ALL OF YOU, KNOCK YOURSELVES OUT.
TAKE WHATEVER YOU WANT.
AND THEN JUST LEAVE ME ALONE, OKAY? (cat meowing) HI YOU'RE STILL MY FRIEND, AREN'T YOU? (meow) WELL, AT LEAST YOU'RE HONEST ABOUT IT.
HEY, WILLIE! PARTY'S OVER? WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU GENTLEMEN? THAT DEPENDS.
DEPENDS ON WHAT? ON WHAT YOU GOT.
I DON'TGOTANYTHING.
IT'S LATE.
I APPRECIATE YOUR DROPPING BY.
HEY! YOU SHOULDN'T BE SO RUDE TO YOUR FRIENDS, WILLIE.
YOU'RE NOT MY FRIENDS.
LOOK, YOU GUYS DON'T FOOL ME ANYMORE.
WATCH YOUR MOUTH! KEEP AN EYE ON HIM.
HEY, GET OUT OF THERE! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? STAY PUT! WATCH YOUR STEP! WHAT ARE YOU GUYS LOOKING FOR? FOR OUR PIECE OF WHATEVER YOU GOT GOING! I AIN'T GOT NOTHING GOING.
WILLIE, WILLIE.
NOW LOOK, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU KNOCKED OVER A BANK OR WHAT, BUT WE WANTOUR CUT OF THE ACTION! NOTHING.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU GUYS ARE TALKING ABOUT.
OH? WAIT.
ARE YOU CALLING ME A LIAR? DID WILLIE HERE JUST CALL ME A LIAR? SOUNDED LIKE IT TO ME.
THIS INSULTS ME, WILLIE.
I DO NOT LIKE WHEN PEOPLE CALL ME A LIAR! WILLIE! NOW LOOK I'M GOING TO MAKE THIS REAL SIMPLE FOR YOU, WILLIE.
YOU COME ACROSS WITH WHATEVER IT IS THAT YOU GOT, OR I WILL CUT YOUR HEART OUT AND SHOW IT TO YOU BEFORE YOU HIT THE GROUND! OKAY, OKAY.
I GET THE IDEA.
SMART BOY, WILLIE.
NOW WHAT DO YOU GOT FOR US? I GOTTHISFOR YOU! GET HIM! COME ON! COME ON! HE WENT THIS WAY! THIS WAY! COME ON! YOU'RE DEAD MEAT! YOU ARE A CORPSE! HEY, HEY, YOU GUYS! WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE? Mrs.
Kudaba: I CALL THE COPS! OPEN UP, WILLIE! OPEN UP! HEY, YOU GUYS.
COME ON, IT'S OKAY.
LET'S JUST GO.
(indistinct voices) IT'S NOT HERE.
(police siren) I CAN'T TAKE ANOTHER FALL, MAN.
I'M STILL ON PAROLE.
YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN, DANNY.
I'M OUT OF HERE.
HEY! WHERE DID THE GUY GO? HE CAN'T JUST DISAPPEAR! PHEW! THANK YOU.
THANK YOU FOR WORKING.
PHEW.
HEY! HEY! HEY, OPEN UP! HEY HEY! HEY, OP! (phone ringing) HELLO? OH, HI, MOM.
HOW ARE YOU? MOM, I'LL BE OKAY.
I'M NOT THE FIRST GIRL TO GET DUMPED FOR SOMEONE ELSE.
CAN'T WE TALK ABOUT THIS LATER? BESIDES I THINK WE'VE DISCUSSED THIS TOPIC A FEW HUNDRED TIMES.
YOU DON'T THINK I WANT TO FIND A DECENT GUY TO SPEND MY LIFE WITH? IWISH! I'LL CALL YOU LATER, MOM.
BYE.
Narrator: WILLIE GARDNER A SIMPLE MAN WHO DISCOVERED IN A STEAMER TRUNK THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN POSSESSIONS AND REAL WEALTH.
ONCE ADRIFT IN A SEA OF HUMANITY, HE'S FINALLY FOUND A SAFE HARBOR IN A PORT OF CALL KNOWN AS THE TWILIGHT ZONE.