The Wonder Years s03e14 Episode Script
The St. Valentine's Day Massacre
Let's see now where were we Paul told you?! He says you're crazy about me! Oh, yeah Love.
Once upon a time, it was simple.
If you liked somebody, you let 'em know.
And if you didn't You let 'em know.
One way or another, you knew where you stood.
But as you get older, communication gets more Complicated.
I told you - I never want to speak to you again! Let me explain that.
See, I knew Winnie was crazy about me.
She'd said so to Paul.
But for some reason, now, she was havingtrouble saying exactly how she felt.
You're rude, insensitive, thoughtless, and smug! There! See what I mean? She didn't really mean it.
Did she? Don't ask me - I got problems of my own.
Carla! Things were grim.
Paul and I had been set adrift in a leaky boat on the sea of love Or something like that.
In honor of this very special day We're all going to make some little valentines.
Now, you'll need construction paper glitter and doilies.
Actually what we needed were enlistment papers for the Foreign Legion.
Man you guys are pathetic! Look at you! Tearin' your guts out over a couple of chicks.
What do you know about it, Hobson? I know a few things about women.
You should do what I do.
Forget 'em.
Heh-heh.
If I could just get her to talk to me.
I mean, it's just a misunderstanding, right? Paul? What's that? A valentine - for Carla.
Come on, Paul - this isn't kindergarten.
She's never gonna fall for that.
You got any better ideas? No but that'll never work.
Oh, Paul! This is the sweetest thing! Like I said - pathetic! Look at 'em! It's embarrassing! Yep.
But effective.
Gimme a pen! Oh, no, not you too?! Am I the last man left? Look, just gimme a pen! Should have known.
You're just as much of a doofus as he is.
Maybe But least now I was a doofus with a plan.
All I needed was a little privacy.
A little peace and quiet in which to think.
To ponder.
To let the poetry in my soul run free.
It was going to be my greatest literary effort.
Dear valentine.
Please forgive me.
Love, Kevin.
Hey, give me a break - I was only thirteen.
Now all that remained was to give my heart to Winnie and let poetry do the rest.
Is there something I can do for you, Kevin? I need to talk to Winnie.
I'm sorry, but that won't be possible.
I just have to explain! Gwendolyn doesn't want to speak to you right now.
I hope I made myself clear.
Hmmm.
It made you wonder if Longfellow ever ran into anything like this.
There was only one thing to do.
Pull rank.
- Hey, you! - Me? Yeah.
You a seventh-grader? Yessir.
I skipped a grade.
Well, I need you to do something for me.
Well, I'm a little late for archery practice.
It'll just take a second.
Here.
Slip this in the third locker from the end down there.
Left of the stairs.
Yessir.
And don't let anyone see you! Got it? Yes, sir! Yep - when there's a will, there's a way.
Heh-heh.
Any minute now.
Hey Hey! No! I said left of the stairs! This is left, sir! No, it's not! Yes it is! Like, see I'm the stairs And this my left.
And Never mind We have to get it back! I don't think we can, sir.
Besides I gotta get to archery class sorry.
OK - no reason to panic.
I- I could handle this.
Aw, what did I have to worry about, really? This whole thing was just a little mix-up.
Any rational human being could understand that.
Unfortunately, this was no rational human being.
This was Becky Slater.
A face from my past.
Friend? How give you friend? Uh Hi, Becky.
What do you want? Well There's this thing in your locker.
"Thing"? Yeah, well it's not supposed to be in there, and well, I kind of need it back.
What kind of thing? Um it's a valentine.
A valentine? Yeah except, it's not Oh, look! Becky - you have to gimme that.
I don't have to give you anything.
Oh, Becky - come on! By, Kevin! Look what Carla gave me.
Course, chocolates make my face swell uplike a dead fish, but wasn't that sweet? Very sweet You know what? I think love is even better the second time around! Congratulations! There's Carla.
Gotta go.
It wasn't fair! Paul was getting chocolates While all I was getting was - Kevin? May I sit down? Becky Slater Out for blood.
Sure.
Sure What was it gonna be? Blackmail, extortion? The way she was holding that note You could tell she had one thing on her mind.
Kevin I forgive you.
What? I didn't know you had been carrying the secret around for so long! Huh?! To think All this time you've been suffering! Becky, we have to talk.
I know You haven't told anyone about this, have you? Oh please, oh please, oh please! Of course not! Good.
Now listen - I wanted you to be the first to know! The first maybe But not the last.
Where are you going? Kevin? First things first.
Right now I had to beat the rumor-ripple to Winnie Cooper Before she got the wrong idea.
Ugh Kevin? Winnie has a message for you.
She does? I hope you and Becky will be very happy together.
¢Ý My funny valentine ¢Ý Let's see now - where were we? Kevin? Oh yeah - love.
Hi.
Yep.
My valentine had had exactly the right effect - on exactly the wrong person.
I think it's so romantic we got back together on Valentine's Day.
Don't you? - Well / - I mean who would have guessed in a million years that it would happen today? Would you? - No! /Susan Beecham's having a party tonight - it's couples only.
I thought you could pick me up around eight Becky, stop! Oh, yes! I had to put an end to this.
In no uncertain terms.
I How give you friend Can't make it to the party.
Why not? Well my family always has this big, huge! Valentine's Day dinner.
A Valentine's dinner? Oh, yeah it's kind of a tradition in my house.
You know, relatives come, mom cooks.
Stuff like that.
Yeah.
We all stand around the piano Singing Valentine's Day carols Well OK.
If you have to be there.
Oh, I do.
Who needs a stupid party, anyway? Huh? I'd be happy to come! Seeya tonight! And suddenly I'd gone from "head-over-heels" To "in-over-my-head".
I needed someone with field experience.
Someone with insight into the workings of the adolescent heart.
Someone like - Hello, Kevin.
Hi, Miss White.
Mrs.
Heimer.
Remember? Sure.
So how's eighth-grade? Yep.
Miss White was someone you could talk to.
Kevin? Something wrong? You seem troubled.
What did I tell ya about this woman? I - I guess.
I'm just a little worried,about this friend of my brother's.
Is it a girl? How did she do it?! Well yeah.
See, he really likes this girl.
Only he can't seem to find the right way to tell her.
Because she hates him.
Because he did some really stupid stuff.
I see And all he wants to do Is apologize, but she won't even talk to him, so - "My heart has never left you for a second".
"And I am, and shall be " "The one whose love for you " "Is without measure".
Huh? It's from Rostand's "Cyrano de Bergerac".
Oh.
Cyrano was so afraid of rejection, he wouldn't confess His true love for Roxanne.
He chose to hide behind the written word Afraid to stand face-to-face with her.
So many people would rather suffer in silence.
So, what you're saying, is Speak from the heart, Kevin.
And never be afraid.
And, you think that'll really work? Hnnn OK If she was sure of it I was sure of it.
Miss White? Mrs.
Heimer.
Did it work out for them - Cyrano and Roxanne? Eventually.
What happened? He died, and she became a nun.
Winnie? We have to talk.
Heck - I couldn't have her livin' in a convent.
Right? - I told you - there's nothing to - Just listen to me, OK? Look - Kevin? What time should I be there, tonight? Oohhhhhhh! I'll leave you two alone.
Winnie! - Kevin? What was that all about? - I have to talk to Winnie! Kevin? I don't understand.
Becky, that valentine wasn't for you! Oh Look, I'm sorry, but - Here I can be graceful about this.
I stood there, my heart in my hand.
It was time to give it to it's rightful owner.
Winnie? I don't want to talk to you.
Look, Winnie.
I'm sorry everything got messed up, but we can straighten it out! Just leave me alone! Winnie.
Winnie! - I know you like me! - Shhh! Kevin I lied to Paul.
I did tell him I liked somebody else.
He asked me who and I said you.
But I really didn't mean it.
I just wanted to let him down easy.
OK? I never knew until that moment How much it could hurt to lose something You never really had.
Hobson, she walked out of my life! Like I said - what are you so miserable about? Hey, think of it this way - now you can hang out with me! I don't think so.
I kinda want to be by myself.
Man, your hopeless.
And there you had it.
Nothin' left to do but wander home and help mom baste the old Valentine goose.
After all, my story was told.
It was all over.
Well Almost over.
This is what she meant by "taking it gracefully"? I guess it was sort of a low moment - for me at least.
For Craig and Becky, however It was a match made in heaven.
You OK? I could use some help getting up.
In a way, it was a perfect ending to a perfect Valentine's Day.
"What Becomes of the Broken-Hearted" by Jimmy Ruffin ¢Ý As I walk this land of broken dreams ¢Ý ¢Ý I have visions of many things ¢Ý ¢Ý But happiness is just an illusion ¢Ý ¢Ý Filled with sadness and confusion ¢Ý ¢Ý What becomes of the brokenhearted ¢Ý ¢Ý Who had love that's now departed ¢Ý ¢Ý I know I've got to find some peace of mind, baby ¢Ý ¢Ý The roots of love grow all around ¢Ý ¢Ý But for me they come a tumblin' down ¢Ý ¢Ý But happiness is just an illusion ¢Ý ¢Ý Filled with sadness and confusion ¢Ý ¢Ý What becomes of the brokenhearted ¢Ý You're such a jerk! Huh? Why did you have to embarrass me in front of everyone like that? Me embarrass her?! I didn't mean to! You're such a jerk! OK, I was a jerk! But I didn't have to take this.
I'd suffered enough.
It was time to tell this chick exactly what I thought of her.
I like you, Winnie! And furthermore Do you like me? I lied.
What? About Paul.
What I told him was the truth.
I like you.
This is yours.
I don't have one for you.
That's OK.
We can share this one.
There was only one thing more to say.
The simple thing The brave thing, the thing that was in both our hearts.
Wanna study for our history test? Sure.
Face it.
We were a long way from kindergarten.
And maybe we were learning That speaking from the heart isn't always easy.
That afternoon, Winnie and I chose to leave those words hanging warm and unspoken in the winter air between us.
But I think we both knew they were there And we would get to them someday.
The thing is, we just didn't have to hurry anymore.
"You're All I Need to Get By" by Marvin Gaye/Tammi Terrell ¢Ý I'll sacrifice for you, dedicate my life for you ¢Ý ¢Ý I will go where you lead, always there in time of need ¢Ý ¢Ý And when I lose my will, you'll be there to push me up the hill ¢Ý ¢Ý There's no, no looking back for us ¢Ý ¢Ý We got love sure enough, that's enough ¢Ý ¢Ý You're all ¢Ý ÇϺñ ÀÚ¸· µ¿È£È¸ ¢Ý You're all I need to get by ¢Ý °¨»çÇÕÏÙÙ.
¢Ý Oh, oh yeah, yeah ¢Ý iamy1004
Once upon a time, it was simple.
If you liked somebody, you let 'em know.
And if you didn't You let 'em know.
One way or another, you knew where you stood.
But as you get older, communication gets more Complicated.
I told you - I never want to speak to you again! Let me explain that.
See, I knew Winnie was crazy about me.
She'd said so to Paul.
But for some reason, now, she was havingtrouble saying exactly how she felt.
You're rude, insensitive, thoughtless, and smug! There! See what I mean? She didn't really mean it.
Did she? Don't ask me - I got problems of my own.
Carla! Things were grim.
Paul and I had been set adrift in a leaky boat on the sea of love Or something like that.
In honor of this very special day We're all going to make some little valentines.
Now, you'll need construction paper glitter and doilies.
Actually what we needed were enlistment papers for the Foreign Legion.
Man you guys are pathetic! Look at you! Tearin' your guts out over a couple of chicks.
What do you know about it, Hobson? I know a few things about women.
You should do what I do.
Forget 'em.
Heh-heh.
If I could just get her to talk to me.
I mean, it's just a misunderstanding, right? Paul? What's that? A valentine - for Carla.
Come on, Paul - this isn't kindergarten.
She's never gonna fall for that.
You got any better ideas? No but that'll never work.
Oh, Paul! This is the sweetest thing! Like I said - pathetic! Look at 'em! It's embarrassing! Yep.
But effective.
Gimme a pen! Oh, no, not you too?! Am I the last man left? Look, just gimme a pen! Should have known.
You're just as much of a doofus as he is.
Maybe But least now I was a doofus with a plan.
All I needed was a little privacy.
A little peace and quiet in which to think.
To ponder.
To let the poetry in my soul run free.
It was going to be my greatest literary effort.
Dear valentine.
Please forgive me.
Love, Kevin.
Hey, give me a break - I was only thirteen.
Now all that remained was to give my heart to Winnie and let poetry do the rest.
Is there something I can do for you, Kevin? I need to talk to Winnie.
I'm sorry, but that won't be possible.
I just have to explain! Gwendolyn doesn't want to speak to you right now.
I hope I made myself clear.
Hmmm.
It made you wonder if Longfellow ever ran into anything like this.
There was only one thing to do.
Pull rank.
- Hey, you! - Me? Yeah.
You a seventh-grader? Yessir.
I skipped a grade.
Well, I need you to do something for me.
Well, I'm a little late for archery practice.
It'll just take a second.
Here.
Slip this in the third locker from the end down there.
Left of the stairs.
Yessir.
And don't let anyone see you! Got it? Yes, sir! Yep - when there's a will, there's a way.
Heh-heh.
Any minute now.
Hey Hey! No! I said left of the stairs! This is left, sir! No, it's not! Yes it is! Like, see I'm the stairs And this my left.
And Never mind We have to get it back! I don't think we can, sir.
Besides I gotta get to archery class sorry.
OK - no reason to panic.
I- I could handle this.
Aw, what did I have to worry about, really? This whole thing was just a little mix-up.
Any rational human being could understand that.
Unfortunately, this was no rational human being.
This was Becky Slater.
A face from my past.
Friend? How give you friend? Uh Hi, Becky.
What do you want? Well There's this thing in your locker.
"Thing"? Yeah, well it's not supposed to be in there, and well, I kind of need it back.
What kind of thing? Um it's a valentine.
A valentine? Yeah except, it's not Oh, look! Becky - you have to gimme that.
I don't have to give you anything.
Oh, Becky - come on! By, Kevin! Look what Carla gave me.
Course, chocolates make my face swell uplike a dead fish, but wasn't that sweet? Very sweet You know what? I think love is even better the second time around! Congratulations! There's Carla.
Gotta go.
It wasn't fair! Paul was getting chocolates While all I was getting was - Kevin? May I sit down? Becky Slater Out for blood.
Sure.
Sure What was it gonna be? Blackmail, extortion? The way she was holding that note You could tell she had one thing on her mind.
Kevin I forgive you.
What? I didn't know you had been carrying the secret around for so long! Huh?! To think All this time you've been suffering! Becky, we have to talk.
I know You haven't told anyone about this, have you? Oh please, oh please, oh please! Of course not! Good.
Now listen - I wanted you to be the first to know! The first maybe But not the last.
Where are you going? Kevin? First things first.
Right now I had to beat the rumor-ripple to Winnie Cooper Before she got the wrong idea.
Ugh Kevin? Winnie has a message for you.
She does? I hope you and Becky will be very happy together.
¢Ý My funny valentine ¢Ý Let's see now - where were we? Kevin? Oh yeah - love.
Hi.
Yep.
My valentine had had exactly the right effect - on exactly the wrong person.
I think it's so romantic we got back together on Valentine's Day.
Don't you? - Well / - I mean who would have guessed in a million years that it would happen today? Would you? - No! /Susan Beecham's having a party tonight - it's couples only.
I thought you could pick me up around eight Becky, stop! Oh, yes! I had to put an end to this.
In no uncertain terms.
I How give you friend Can't make it to the party.
Why not? Well my family always has this big, huge! Valentine's Day dinner.
A Valentine's dinner? Oh, yeah it's kind of a tradition in my house.
You know, relatives come, mom cooks.
Stuff like that.
Yeah.
We all stand around the piano Singing Valentine's Day carols Well OK.
If you have to be there.
Oh, I do.
Who needs a stupid party, anyway? Huh? I'd be happy to come! Seeya tonight! And suddenly I'd gone from "head-over-heels" To "in-over-my-head".
I needed someone with field experience.
Someone with insight into the workings of the adolescent heart.
Someone like - Hello, Kevin.
Hi, Miss White.
Mrs.
Heimer.
Remember? Sure.
So how's eighth-grade? Yep.
Miss White was someone you could talk to.
Kevin? Something wrong? You seem troubled.
What did I tell ya about this woman? I - I guess.
I'm just a little worried,about this friend of my brother's.
Is it a girl? How did she do it?! Well yeah.
See, he really likes this girl.
Only he can't seem to find the right way to tell her.
Because she hates him.
Because he did some really stupid stuff.
I see And all he wants to do Is apologize, but she won't even talk to him, so - "My heart has never left you for a second".
"And I am, and shall be " "The one whose love for you " "Is without measure".
Huh? It's from Rostand's "Cyrano de Bergerac".
Oh.
Cyrano was so afraid of rejection, he wouldn't confess His true love for Roxanne.
He chose to hide behind the written word Afraid to stand face-to-face with her.
So many people would rather suffer in silence.
So, what you're saying, is Speak from the heart, Kevin.
And never be afraid.
And, you think that'll really work? Hnnn OK If she was sure of it I was sure of it.
Miss White? Mrs.
Heimer.
Did it work out for them - Cyrano and Roxanne? Eventually.
What happened? He died, and she became a nun.
Winnie? We have to talk.
Heck - I couldn't have her livin' in a convent.
Right? - I told you - there's nothing to - Just listen to me, OK? Look - Kevin? What time should I be there, tonight? Oohhhhhhh! I'll leave you two alone.
Winnie! - Kevin? What was that all about? - I have to talk to Winnie! Kevin? I don't understand.
Becky, that valentine wasn't for you! Oh Look, I'm sorry, but - Here I can be graceful about this.
I stood there, my heart in my hand.
It was time to give it to it's rightful owner.
Winnie? I don't want to talk to you.
Look, Winnie.
I'm sorry everything got messed up, but we can straighten it out! Just leave me alone! Winnie.
Winnie! - I know you like me! - Shhh! Kevin I lied to Paul.
I did tell him I liked somebody else.
He asked me who and I said you.
But I really didn't mean it.
I just wanted to let him down easy.
OK? I never knew until that moment How much it could hurt to lose something You never really had.
Hobson, she walked out of my life! Like I said - what are you so miserable about? Hey, think of it this way - now you can hang out with me! I don't think so.
I kinda want to be by myself.
Man, your hopeless.
And there you had it.
Nothin' left to do but wander home and help mom baste the old Valentine goose.
After all, my story was told.
It was all over.
Well Almost over.
This is what she meant by "taking it gracefully"? I guess it was sort of a low moment - for me at least.
For Craig and Becky, however It was a match made in heaven.
You OK? I could use some help getting up.
In a way, it was a perfect ending to a perfect Valentine's Day.
"What Becomes of the Broken-Hearted" by Jimmy Ruffin ¢Ý As I walk this land of broken dreams ¢Ý ¢Ý I have visions of many things ¢Ý ¢Ý But happiness is just an illusion ¢Ý ¢Ý Filled with sadness and confusion ¢Ý ¢Ý What becomes of the brokenhearted ¢Ý ¢Ý Who had love that's now departed ¢Ý ¢Ý I know I've got to find some peace of mind, baby ¢Ý ¢Ý The roots of love grow all around ¢Ý ¢Ý But for me they come a tumblin' down ¢Ý ¢Ý But happiness is just an illusion ¢Ý ¢Ý Filled with sadness and confusion ¢Ý ¢Ý What becomes of the brokenhearted ¢Ý You're such a jerk! Huh? Why did you have to embarrass me in front of everyone like that? Me embarrass her?! I didn't mean to! You're such a jerk! OK, I was a jerk! But I didn't have to take this.
I'd suffered enough.
It was time to tell this chick exactly what I thought of her.
I like you, Winnie! And furthermore Do you like me? I lied.
What? About Paul.
What I told him was the truth.
I like you.
This is yours.
I don't have one for you.
That's OK.
We can share this one.
There was only one thing more to say.
The simple thing The brave thing, the thing that was in both our hearts.
Wanna study for our history test? Sure.
Face it.
We were a long way from kindergarten.
And maybe we were learning That speaking from the heart isn't always easy.
That afternoon, Winnie and I chose to leave those words hanging warm and unspoken in the winter air between us.
But I think we both knew they were there And we would get to them someday.
The thing is, we just didn't have to hurry anymore.
"You're All I Need to Get By" by Marvin Gaye/Tammi Terrell ¢Ý I'll sacrifice for you, dedicate my life for you ¢Ý ¢Ý I will go where you lead, always there in time of need ¢Ý ¢Ý And when I lose my will, you'll be there to push me up the hill ¢Ý ¢Ý There's no, no looking back for us ¢Ý ¢Ý We got love sure enough, that's enough ¢Ý ¢Ý You're all ¢Ý ÇϺñ ÀÚ¸· µ¿È£È¸ ¢Ý You're all I need to get by ¢Ý °¨»çÇÕÏÙÙ.
¢Ý Oh, oh yeah, yeah ¢Ý iamy1004