Ugly Betty s03e14 Episode Script

This is for your father-- loaded with antioxidants and good for his heart muscle.
Ignacio suarez drinking pomegranate juice.
He used to hate this stuff.
Elena,you are a miracle worker.
Just doing my job.
Try it.
Pomegranate ice was my idea,you know.
Oh,here we go.
Way before it was in the stores.
Way before.
And now some lady who stole my idea is living in a mansion in beverly hills.
I should be in beverly hills.
No,i should be living in beverly hills.
You don't want to live in beverly hills,okay? I worked there for a year-- bunch of stuck-up old hags with pulled-up faces and their wives.
good morning,familia! It's a beautiful 30-degree day in queens,new york.
Perfect weather for a brisky,blood-pumping walk.
I don't think "brisky's" a word.
It is today.
Ignacio,you gotta drink your juice before your walk.
Crazy idea.
We can drink and walk at the same time.
Have a nice walk! Yeah,have fun! Wow,I am so happy.
I can't believe how quickly papi has bounced back from his heart attack.
I know,and how great is elena? She's like the big sister I never had.
Ay,now I know how important I am to you.
Well,she is amazing and it's just so nice not to have to worry.
I know.
I'll see you later.
Ms.
Meade? Good morning,betty.
I tried to reach daniel.
I'm in a bit of a pickle.
Could you come to the drugstore at 58th and lex and bring some cash? There's been a misunderstanding.
I apprehended the suspec leaving the store with this in her purse.
okay.
Well,first of all, you don't have to call her a "suspect.
" It's claire meade.
I don't care who she is.
Woman got the sticky fingers.
Oh,mrs.
Meade,did you shoplift? Oh,betty,it is not shoplifting if you can afford the item but simply do not have the funds on you.
Wait.
What? That-- I think that is shoplifting.
Well,we could debate this all day.
Betty,why don't you pay the man his $24? And we'll be on our way curtis,have a nice day.
shoplifting? I don't even know what that means.
Yeah,neither did your mother.
Look,do you think something could be going on with her, something that could be provoking all of this? Well oh! Oh? Yeah.
6-0,actually.
It's her 60th birthday next week.
Wow.
Well,that could freak someone out.
Maybe she just needs a little attention.
You know,I always tell her she doesn't get out enough and meet people.
hey,we could throw her a surprise party.
That's a good idea.
You know what? She loves a party.
You know what else we could do? A tribute video.
A tribute video? Wow,that,sounds like a lot of work.
That's okay.
I could do it.
Really? Yeah.
I mean,your mom has always been so great to me and--and my family.
I-I wanna do this for her.
Do you have any old home movies I can watch? joy to the world and all that stuff let's see how much dough santa spent.
oh,my balls.
This tree is overdecorated.
Wow,it's kinda hard to watch it.
Yeah.
Also kinda hard to live it.
And they're all pretty much the same.
Though the 4th of july barbecue-in-the-pool spectacular is pretty damn entertaining.
Yikes.
Well,I'm sure I can find something in here.
And,hey,if you get me a camera, I could interview her friends and family saying nice things about her and then edit that into a warm,wonderful video.
Great.
Hello,daniel.
Mrs.
Meade.
Hey,mom,I was just coming to see you.
I know,I know.
I'm due for a talking-to after my little bout with the drugstore police this morning, but I thought it might be more pleasant to do it over dinner.
How about michael's at 8:00? That sounds great,but I ac-- oh,great.
I'll call and see if he'll make your favorite-- spaghetti and meatballs.
well,they're good.
hey,mom.
Uh,you know,I'd really love to do that, but molly has a surprise special date planned.
Oh.
Well,that's fine then.
But,um,you know,we should do something fun together.
Maybe just later in the week.
That would be nice.
We better make sure this party is good.
Oh,we will.
justin? justin.
How do I know if this thing is on? You see the red light? If it's on,then you're recording.
How did you know that? I'm a teenager.
Technology doesn't faze me.
Betty,what are you doing with that camera? Are you filming something? Uh,yes,hilda,I am.
Which you obviously know, because you are dressed like J.
Lo on the red carpet.
What are you talking about? I always act like this.
Mom.
What? If we're doing home movies, I wanna look good.
I want my grandchildren to see how hot I was.
Disturbing.
Ay.
Please.
We're not really making home videos.
I'm just practicing.
But I promise,when I'm done with claire's video, you can get all glammed up again,okay? All right.
How do I turn this off? Red button.
you want me to make dinner? - no.
- Why? you know,I'm not really sure this was a good idea.
Well,loosen up.
It'll all come back to you.
Yeah,but I never really learned how to skate.
I was always the kid with the double blades on.
No,look,you're doing great.
This isn't so bad.
But-- watch what you're doing,you dumb-ass.
Oh.
You.
well,this is awkward.
is it?What,just because my ex-fiance is here with her new boyfriend who's my mate? You're here with your girlfriend.
You know what?We've been skating for a while.
We're gonna go.
No,you stay.
We'll go.
Oi! Look,this is ridiculous.
Come on,what's the big deal?We're all grown-ups.
it was,uh,in bhutan,winter of 2002.
We took the elephants up into the hills.
it was 2006,actually.
You remember how weird that guide was? Oh! He was a freak! and then it got dark.
the elephants.
We slept in the forest with the elephants.
Yeah.
Then it rained all the way back.
oh,yeah.
Oh! And molly gets these terrible rashes from wet clothes.
Awful,giant red blotches.
I could only imagine.
Are they painful? So,of course,molly went home disappointed.
Well,I'd hoped to make it up to tibet, and we never got the chance.
I've always wanted to go.
And the food is incredible.
I didn't know they had food.
I mean,tibetan food.
Who knew? It's getting late.
Yeah,it's,uh,7:30, - so we should probably- - are you ready? Never been more.
oh,daniel,great!I'm glad you're here.
I want to interview you for your mom's video.
Yeah,before we do that,can we check to see if there are any direct flights,J.
F.
K.
To tibet? Tibet? Yeah,I just thought it'd be a nice surprise trip for molly and me.
She's always wanted to go.
Wow,uh,that's, what,too much? Kinda.
Uh,not to mention we might run into some visa issues, a military occupation,civil unrest yeah,but the food is supposed to be excellent.
Besides,I want to do something special with molly.
She has all theseamazing memories with connor.
Well,you'll get there.
It just takes a little time.
Betty,that's what I'm worried about.
I don't exactly have the best track record when it comes to long-term relationships.
Molly's different.
I see you two together.
You will get there,but it might be a good idea to start a little closer to home.
Okay.
you know what?You're right.
Let's do this interview.
Great.
- That's weird.
- What? It won't record.
Maybe 'cause it's full? Impossible.
It's just probably broken.
I only used it for ten minutes.
Here.
Okay.
No,not broken.
Just a lot of great shots of your front hall.
Front hall,front hall oh,wait.
Uh,there's something.
It's your father and oh.
What? nothing.
What? oh,that's just my dad and his nurse.
oh,my god.
see? There! I don't know.
You don't know?You don't know what? He's grabbing her booty.
It's a very vague area.
Sort of her hip,lower backside.
Hilda,he is in there.
Fine.
we have to talk to dad.
and say what? "Papi,we saw you going for the junk in your nurse's trunk"? Yes.
she could sue us for harassment.
Elena is not gonna sue us.
Well,what if she quits? Oh,no.
No,no,no.
We cannot lose her.
See? So then we have to deal with it.
ay.
Fine.
I'll talk to elena,and you talk to papi.
No,why do I have to talk to papi? Yes,'cause this was your idea.
What,you think I'm gonna ask dad if he's turning into the booty bandit of jackson heights? No.
Okay,fine.
This is a wonderful idea.
I never come into the city anymore.
Yeah,well,I thought it would be really nice for us to have lunch together.
Um,and there's something I wanted to ask you.
I'm just not quite sure how to bring it up.
Did my father grab a handful of your ass last night? Of course,sweetheart,I do miss eating cupcakes, but why would that be awkward to ask? Well,'cause I know elena's been pretty strict on your diet.
Oh,hey,since you brought her up, how are things going with her,everything okay? 'Cause I wouldn't want to lose you if papi accidentally slipped and tried to brace himself on your butt.
Don't worry about your father,hilda.
He's a lovely man.
excuse me.
Too much pomegranate.
I'm just saying,you know, we can always get someone else,like a male nurse, if you feel uncomfortable having a woman around all the time.
No.
I'm usedo it.
I've got two daughters,remember? If he got out of line,you would tell me,right? You don't have to worry,hilda.
I mean,I've been doing this for a while.
I can handle myself just fine.
All right,I feel better.
'Cause you're so good for him and you're good for us, and I just--I don't want you to quit.
I promise I'm not gonna quit.
Okay.
Honestly? I don't know what I'd do without her.
I know,dad,she is great.
Elena is wonderful.
And that's why I think it's important that we treat her with professional and appropriate courtesy.
Bettywhat's on your mind? Nothing.
Let's go to lunch.
connor and molly have trekked the wilds of south asia together, and I haven't even seen the inside of his apartment.
Well,has he ever invited you? Of course he has,marc,but he lives in murray hill.
I'm not a barbarian.
willie.
He's seen her rashes.
I mean,my god,aren't some things better kept between you and your dermatologist? Personally,I'd like to think that everything underneath that is pure,unblemished mocha.
Well,I will not be hiking in some wet,green, buggy climate where people grow rice.
No way.
That's not who I am.
Willie maybe you want to consider opening yourself up just a teensy bit to connor.
I don't do intimacy.
Tried it once.
It didn't work out.
You don't have to reveal your uncomfortable secrets overnight.
This isn't "the bachelor.
" but baby steps-- going in to see his apartment, letting him know that you really care,that you want more.
That was really nice,mija.
- Thank you.
- Of course,dad.
Where's your bathroom? Right there.
Oh.
Be right back.
Oh! Betty.
Ms.
Meade.
My friend liz smith tells me that you have wanted to ask her some questions about me.
Oh,thank you.
well,I-I meant to tell you-- this is the island of manhattan,betty.
Anything you think is a secret isn'T.
Oh,it's not a secret.
Uh,I'm just doing an assignment for Y.
E.
T.
I.
Uh,a video on someone who I admire in publishing,and I chose you.
I'm very flattered.
Was that your father I saw? Yes,wejust had a very unsuccessful lunch.
What happened? He did this weird thing,and I couldn't bring myself to ask him about it.
What was it? Really,ms.
Meadeit's fine.
I'm no stranger to weird behavior,betty.
Wellwe caught him grabbing his nurse's butt.
oh.
Bradford went through the same thing after his first heart attack.
He could not keep it in his pants.
Uh,night and day,he would not leave me alone.
finally I had to slip him an extra sedative so I could get some sleep.
well,I don't think I could drug my father.
But I did try talking to him,and,that was awkward.
So well,would you like me to talk to him? Oh,well,I-- hello.
Buenos dias,mrs.
Meade.
Buenos dias,ignacio.
Oh,I was just aut to get a cup of coffee.
Would you care to join me? Well,sure.
have fun! I love it,thank you well,all set.
I'm meeting tomorrow morning with the saatchi brothers in london.
Great.
Separate those bastards from their ad budget.
Godspeed.
Uh,uh,of--of course,I'm gonna miss you.
a lot.
you'd better**** But I'd rather be in bed with you sharing feelings.
thank you,marc.
Um,is there anything I can do for you while you're away? Oh,darling,I hate to bother you.
No problem,really,whatever it is.
nice to meet you.
Wilhelmina slater,meet olivia newton bird.
you're kidding,right? She was a birthday gift around the time "grease" came out.
I had the biggest schoolboy crush on ms.
Newton-john.
I had no idea.
Well,that's because you've never been around my apartment.
Ah,there they are My two best birds.
I'll touch base when I land.
Well,hello there.
Olivia newton bird want a cracker? pretty molly.
Pretty molly.
Pretty molly.
elena says it's perfectly normal for someone who's been through - what papi has to get a little - Justin, - come on.
Let's go.
You're gonna be late for school.
- frisky.
But she can handle it,yeah,yeah,yeah.
and she's not gonna quit? No.
God.
Thank god.
How did your talk with papi go? betty.
I couldn't go through with it.
- What? - Hilda! But claire meade did.
She talked to him.
And she said that it was probably better for him to talk to someone his own age,anyway someone who's not his daughter.
- I can't believe you.
You're such a-- - good morning.
good morning.
Good morning.
What were you two whispering about? nothing.
Nothing.
I was just,telling hilda how we ran into claire meade yesterday, and the two of you had a lovely chat.
Yes,she's an amazing woman.
Yeah,sure,if you can get past the booze and the pills and the murder.
Why a biography has not been written about that woman-- it's criminal.
I'd buy it.
And she told me you two were worried about me.
But I want you to know that everything is fine.
In fact,better than fine.
oh,my goodness.
I'm gonna be late.
Papi,I am so glad that everything is okay, but I have to run.
I'm interviewing some of claire meade's friends for her tribute video.
And they were really eager to talk, so I think it's gonna be great.
So what is claire's best quality? Wouldn't it be better if you turned the camera on? red button.
Okay.
Uh,what's claire's best quality? Claire's best quality? well,she's a fun drunk.
She's fun drunk.
Well,for the first five drinks,that is.
The next five,it's all tears and scenities.
But if you can hang in there till the seventh drink till number 11 well,then it gets to be fun again.
She's a stumbling delight.
tell me something that you admire about claire.
Well, - Well - that's a tough one.
Mm.
How surprisingly well she managed to round from th murder conviction.
Okay,um,what's the most fun you've ever had with claire meade? well claire wasn't actually there.
It was when she was on the lam.
See,viveca and i were leaving le bernardin, and we saw a woman who looked exactly like claire eating out of a garbe caN.
oh,we laughed.
it was priceless.
Honey,are we done? thank you.
Oh,hey,betty,how's the claire with project going? oh,those women were horrible.
Claire meade has no friends.
This tribute video's gonna be really sad.
Here.
Shoot me.
I'll give claire a little birthday greeting.
Really? and action.
Happy birthday,mrs.
Meade.
You killed my mother.
Not helping.
Pretty molly.
you sound like an idiot.
See,marc,this is what happens when you put yourself out there.
Well,you could have watered his plants.
You didn't have to offer to bird sit.
Well,I guess people in love do stupid things.
did you just say the "l" word? Oh,willie have you told connor yet? Has that bird crap rotted your brain? Of course not.
Well,why not,if it's how you feel? Have I taught you nothing about power? I can't say it first.
It's like when you call bill clinton.
You put him on hold,and then you get me on the line.
I don't think it's the same thing.
Until he makes the first move,no one outside this office will er hear me say, "I love connor.
" I love connor.
did that just say I love connor.
I didn't hear anything.
I love connor.
I love connor.
New york's best-kept secret.
I know how much you like tibetan food,so the pride of little tibet.
You remembered.
That is so sweet.
Thank you.
Surprised? Yes,I am.
But there's something you should know.
Miss molly,welcome back! Hi,sam.
I've kind of been here before.
You're not mr.
Connor.
No,I'm not.
Where's mr.
Connor? Uh,we don't know where mr.
Connor is,sam,but you have me -- mr.
Niel.
Mr.
Connor's not sick,is he? No,I don't know.
Look,it doesn't-- I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to snap.
Uh,w-would you show us to our table,please? Absolutely.
daniel.
These women are supposed to be claire meade's friends, but they're like vultures,fur-wearing vultures.
Can we see the tape? No.
Papi!Dinner! Now I don't know what I'm gonna do.
I mean,I guess I could always interview ms.
Meade.
So she'll be doing a tribute video to herself? Don't stress me out.
I don't know what else I can do.
Isn't there,like,home videos you could use or something? you should see the home videos.
I saw claire meade fall into a christmas tree.
And apparently,there's a 4th of july barbecue-in-the-pool spectacular.
Ooh,you remember that 4th of july where we got the inflatable pool and papi couldn't get the chemicals right? Oh,and mami's hair turned green.
She was so mad at papi.
I know.
I remember that green hair.
I think that is why I became a beautician.
Papi,dinner! He's still upstairs with elena doing his physical therapy.
Elena's still here? I thought she would' been gone hours ago.
No,papi asked her to stay for dinner,so can you go get them? Thank you.
oh,my god.
Betty.
are you two together.
Mijas,I knew this would be awkward.
*********** ***************** ******** I needed to come clean about it.
Elena and I were gonna tell you after dinner.
Wait.
So mrs.
Meade said that this was a good idea? Yes.
She's a very smart woman.
Hey,I askedou if there was something weird going on with my father, and you lied to my face.
-Hilda-- -no,that's not her fault.
I ked her not to say anything.
Papi,comen,this is crazy.
She's your nurse.
You're recovering from open-heart surgery.
You're not in a place to think clearly.
And you-- you came into our house to take care of our sick father.
He's your patient.
-Okay,hilda,just listen to me-- -no,no,no,this is so inappropriate.
What is wrong with you? That's enough.
Okay,maybe I should leave.
No,no,no.
No,it would be better if you left.
That is not up to you.
Hey,yeah,it is.
We are the only ones making sense here.
Y qu?sabes t?de making sense! Papi,please.
You should calm down.
I'm sorry,I can't do this.
I can't do this.
-Elena.
-No,please.
dad,please don't be angry with us.
Listen to me.
I know I haven't dated since your mom.
I know it can't be easy for you.
But there is no way ena would ever -replace your-- -stop.
Don't say her name in the same sentence as mom.
-Betty-- -no.
You can't date elena.
You know what? This isn't about me.
It's about you two.
compliments of the chef.
Thank you.
Let me guess.
A mr.
Connor favorite? Actually,it's for me.
I'm into the weirder stuff.
Connor stuck to the noodles.
Really? Oh,connor can keep his noodles,'cause I am all about the adventure.
So,um what is this? It'S it's blood sausage.
Sure can taste the,um blood.
are you ready to order? I'm still deciding.
You go.
You kn what?How about,uh uh,I-I'll get this.
One brled yak tongue.
uh,you know what? Uh,actually,I'll just,uhI'll get the number uh,46.
Don't tell me what it is,though.
Ah,yes,bean thread noodles.
Mr.
Connor's special.
could youplease give us another minute or two? are you okay? Yeah,no,fine.
It's just it's connor,you know?I it just it makes me feel makes you feel what? Uh,t-- sort of weird.
What are we drinking? Fermented yak butter tea tibetan delicacy.
Why? Daniel,daniel.
I can't believe your class would be interested in a day in the life of claire meade.
Well,why no you are a big part of meade publications.
So tell me,how are things at "hot flash"? oh,I'm starting an advice column.
Advice.
How -interesting.
-I hope so.
I'm thinking about calling it "claire cares" or "i claire about you.
" I'm sorry.
I have something I have to ask you.
Um,did you tell my father it was okay to sleep with his nurse? -Betty-- -I thought you were gonna talk some sense into him.
I'm just a little surprised that you encouraged him to get busy.
He found someone he liS.
I told him to follow his heart.
But she is way too young for him.
And he just had heart surgery.
He's not ready for something like this.
He's not ready or you're not ready? Ms.
Meade.
Did you just take something? Maybe.
So what? What?Wh--so what?That's stealing.
Keep your voice down,betty,and keep moving.
Well-- let's be done for the day.
I think I saw a gyro cart on the corner.
My treat.
mrs.
Meade,give it to me.
Um,where are you going with that? Well,uh I was just going outside.
I-- that's what you think.
Let's go.
Come on.
Ot of nerveor a lot of confidence,lady.
Look,did not do this.
I'm not trying to implicate anyone else,I'm just saying, I have never,ever stolen anythingin my entire life.
Betty.
Ms.
Meade.
I am so sorry.
This young woman didn't steal anything.
I did.
She tried to stop me.
You know what?I think I'll let the cops sort this out.
The cops? I don't understand why you're doing this.
what are you gonna do if the press finds out? Oh,please,betty.
Nobody pays any attention to me.
That is not true.
Getting older is very strange,betty.
You marry,you have children,everybody depends on you,and then one day you wake up,and you're invisible.
You are not invisible.
You have your family.
No,bradford's gone,alexis and D.
J.
Are in france,daniel has molly.
I'm alone.
Today's my birthday,which you are aware of,since thisite video presentation is obviously part of the surprise party that daniel is having for me.
You knew? Oh,betty.
You are so good at so many things.
Subtlety isn't one of them.
Daniel just really wanted to do something special for you.
You know what I wish he'd do? I wish he would give me just a little time alone with him.
Be careful with your father,betty.
You and your sister aren't going to live with him forever.
And if he can find someone to share his later years with, it won't hurt quite so much when you can't meet him for dinner.
We checked the security tape.
you're free to go.
-oh,good.
-You're not.
Mrs.
Meade,you need to come with me.
What? It--it's okay,betty.
I'll be fine.
How you feeling? Oh,god.
Those better not be leftovers.
Yak tongue always tastes good the next day.
It's like pizza.
no.
I brought you some supplies.
Club soda,medicine.
I'm so sorry about last night.
Worst date ever.
No.
I threw up on a buddha statue.
So you come back as a rat.
I really wanted it to be special you know,something we could remember as "our night.
" You and connor have so much history together.
Daniel,you and I will have our own history.
I've never had a relationship that's lasted than six months I'm afraid of screwing this up.
Well,I won't let you.
And for the record,last night may not have been perfect,but it was memorable.
I'm sorry.
betty.
Yeah,what's going on? Hi,mom.
Oh,god.
Daniel.
I was expecting the police.
Yeah.
Betty called.
I had our lawyer smooth things over,so you're free to go.
I've been a bit of a mess.
I'm sorry.
No.
I'm sorry.
I haven't been a very good son recently.
I guess we should get going.
I don't want to be late for my party.
you know about that? I was almost relieved to spend the night in jail rather than with those piranhas I call my friends.
But what the hell.
I'll make the best of it.
I love prada.
I love connor.
I love gucci.
I love oscar de la renta fall 2009.
keep it simple,mary.
forget it.
Just throw it out the window.
I love connor.
But that's bird-er.
Oh,the little monster has wings.
Let it fly south and torment some poor family in staten island.
you'd throw your boyfriend's beloved pet out the window so he doesn't find out you love him? Yes.
May I say something,friend tfriend? No.
-Man to woman? -Oh,god.
No -Employee to employer? -What is it,marc? Waiting for someone else to say "I love you" first doesn't mean you're more powerful.
It just means you're afraid.
Hi.
Sorry.
I-I hope you don't mind.
I-I just needed to talk to you.
Something you forgot to accuse me of last night? No.
I just want to say I'm sorry.
Look,this thing with you and my father,it just took us by surprise.
Me,too.
ten years I've been a nurse.
Not once in my life have I ever felt this way about one of my patients.
Now hilda thinks I'm some kind of predator.
No,she doesn'T.
Maybe a little.
But we're just worried about our father and his heart.
Romance is good for your heart.
What do you think,we were swinging from the chandeliers? No!God.
No.
Well,I wasn'T.
Betty,I wasn't looking for this to happen.
Believe me.
But your father's a good man.
He's kind,smart a great cook.
And he's good for my heart,too.
um,we're gonna be five tonight.
********** Hilda,it might not feel good,but we don't have the right to stop papi from being with elena.
Yes,we do,because it's wrong.
Or maybe it's just hard for us to see him with another woman.
hilda mom is gone.
That doesn't mean that papi has to spend the rest of his life alone.
I know.
I don't-- I don't want that,either.
It's just it's hard enough to keep mami's memory alive.
And I feel like she's disappearing.
It's just I know.
Look no matter what happens with elena,your mom will never disappear.
Papi,I'm sorry.
This was more about us than it was about you.
It's okay,mija.
I know it's complicated.
guess what.
Elena knows kiefer sutherland.
I don't know him.
I gave him a b12 shot once.
He cried like a girl.
this is going straight to the message boards.
Anonymously,of course.
Well,I guess I'll get another plate.
Can I help with anything? No,I got it.
Don't worry.
She'll come around.
Come on.
how was london? I closed the deal.
Of course you did.
oh,I missed you.
Oh,I missed you,too.
How's olivia newton bird? sleeping.
I hope she didn't drive you too crazy.
Connor,I love you.
Uh,I-I don't know what you feel,but I-I needed to tell you,be-- mm.
I love you,too.
I love connor.
I love connor.
Daniel,if we do this,we are going to be late for my surprise party.
I just have to pick something up in my office.
It won't take a minute.
what's this? Surprise.
I thought it'd be nicer if you and I just had a little dinner together alone.
Happy birthday,mom.
thank you.
Shall we? * from behind these walls I hear your song * and bob served it out with beaming looks, "while the chestts on the fire "sputtered and crackled noisily.
"Then bob proposed-- "'a merry christmas to us all,my dears.
' "'God bless us,every one! ' Said tiny tim the last of all.
* I let you navigate and demand just as long as we know * * this land is mine this land is mine * * but I let you rule I let you navigate and demand * * just as long as you know this land is mine *