Weird Science s03e14 Episode Script
Fly Boy
[ loud whooshing .]
Here we go.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Another perfect landing.
Primo idea, wearing the goggles, Wy.
Now I just got to worry about keeping the bugs out of my teeth.
You sure you don't want to try your pair? It's killer.
Three quick pumps on Lisa's helium hi-tops and I'm kissing sky.
Gary.
- You were spotted.
- Again.
When Lisa zapped up those flying shoes you promised to keep a low profile.
Hey, I have been.
I'm a stealth bomber.
So you don't know anything about this UFO that mooned a British airways flight? You try keeping your pant up at mach two.
So I had little fun.
Big Whoops.
What can happen? - I'm Special Agent Scolder.
- I'm Special Agent Molly.
- FBI.
- We're here to Investigate the UFO.
- Any luck? - Not much.
Just keep repeating "A glowing swizzle stick tried to gut me.
" - Doesn't make any sense.
- Why does everything have to make sense? Can science explain why aliens abducted my Jack Russell Terrier? Can science explain the Mutant Worm Boy of Tacoma? The Scandinavian Leech Beavers? The vampires who crashed my bar mitzvah? A swizzle stick form the sky? Makes all the sense in the world, Molly.
Trying to hurt my feelings? Gary's been enjoying his sneakers and you haven't tried yours on.
I got this thing about heights.
My ears pop on a step stool.
Come on.
What have you got to lose? My lunch.
Don't you think Gary's going too public with this flying gig? So someone saw him.
It's not like anyone's closing in on our airline.
The Java Man coffeehouse, originally opened in 1968 as Dr.
Rainbow's cosmic muffin hut.
Closed down by local authorities shortly afterwards.
How come? Controversial brownie recipe? No.
A series of health code violations.
Molly, I was make a joke.
Oh.
We should have a signal for that.
Mmm.
Really, Scolder, do you expect to find your purported extraterrestrial visitor in a coffeehouse? After traveling 180,000 light years wouldn't you need a little perk-me-up? Did you catch that one? Yes, I did.
But I just didn't find it particularly funny.
Fair enough.
I say we sit here, order a couple of frapachinos and keep our eyes open for anything unusual.
Thank you very much, loser.
- Are you cheating? - Excuse me? Sorry.
It's just Ladies and gentlemen we'd like to remind you that abroad this flight there are no rules, no seat belts and no peanuts.
Thanks for flying air Gary.
[ screaming .]
Bad turbulence.
Bad turbulence.
Mayday.
Mayday! [ Screaming .]
I'm on my way.
There's been another UFO sighting.
Something apparently crashed to Earth.
They need me at the Coroner's office.
You go ahead.
I'll be fine here.
Extensive tissue damage suggests the subject crashed from a height of approximately 12,000 feet.
Internal contents show the last meal to consist of white bread, bologna, mustard, and what appears to be cheese possibly cheddar.
Said contents indicate a juvenile appetite.
Bite radius concurs.
In conclusion evidence begs the question-- Who or what dropped a bologna sandwich from 12,000 feet? On a stakeout, huh? No black and white, no cherries on top.
- You're a G-Man, aren't you? - You're obstructing a federal investigation.
I knew it.
FBI.
A real live FIB-EE.
Hot chow.
Hey, how many guys have you, you know taken out? Only one.
But we went dutch.
- That's a joke.
- [ laughs .]
Anyway, I've dreamed all my life of being a fed.
I've applied like 400 times.
Chet Donnelly.
- Sound familar? - Donnelly? So you live at that residence? Yeah.
Well, it's only temporary.
How'd you like to give us a hand in this investigation Chet? Would I? Oh, yes! Wyatt, your brother's outside talking to the FBI.
What? - Are you sure it's the FBI? - I've seen him at the Java Man.
We're under surveillance.
Okay.
Don't panic.
We'll be all right as long as Gary stays out of sight.
[ loud whooshing .]
Whew.
You wouldn't believe the turbulence up there.
Nasty.
I came this close to a 12,000 foot belly flop.
Got anything in the fridge? I lost my sandwich during re-entry.
Forget your sandwich.
I think the FBI has got you staked out.
She's not kidding, Gary.
There's some guy across the street.
Leave it to me.
[ knocking .]
Housekeeping.
Got to clean your room.
You look familiar.
Have we met? Wait by the ice machine while I scrub your tub.
Strange.
You clean these rooms and yet you forget there's no bathtub in this unit.
And if I didn't know better I'd say you were the mystery woman - from the Donnelly Residence.
- Maybe.
I've seen things that I can't explain-- UFO's, time manipulation and now Here you are.
You seem to be in the middle of it.
I just want answers.
That's exactly what I want from you.
Mr.
Smarty-Pants.
"At this point in the investigation, I believe the UFO may be linked to an extraterrestrial organism of superior intelligence" This is rich.
We have nothing to worry about.
I can take a hint.
You don't want to be bothered.
I'll have the morning girl come in.
- You just got here.
- Watch it or your tub will overflow.
[ water running .]
The only thing extraordinary is the size of the bath ring.
That tube was a shower before she came.
Your mystery woman really knows her grout.
In 1959, three Soviet Georgian Yak Herders inexplicably burst into flame.
In 1962, a glowing cloud of Wood Mites destroyed all the Nylon in a Northwestern fishing village.
in 1974, a man the size of a walnut was captured and interrogated by South American freedom fighters.
What does this have to do with the UFO sightings? Damn.
I had it a second ago.
I hate it when that happens.
Could it be your mind is preoccupied with the beauitful, mysterious grout woman? I must confess there is something about her [ knocking .]
It's our star witness who I'm hoping can fill us in on grout girl and our UFO.
[ panting .]
I'm sorry I'm late.
Mom made me take out the garbage.
Wow.
Cool room.
You guys live the life.
Chet, I'd like you to meet Special Agent Molly.
Mr.
Donnelly.
Ma'am.
Mr.
Donnelly.
Chet, we need to ask you some questions.
Have you ever been hypnotized? - Do you think he's under? - I think he's comatose.
Understand.
We have to delicately peel away the subconscious layer by layer before drawing any repressed memories.
Chet.
Do you hear my? Mommy, why can't I play with the dollies? Can I have another fizzle? I don't want to go.
Kindergarten's full of bullies and scary girls.
Um, let's jump ahead to the present.
Okay, Chet? Have you ever encountered a caucasian female, brunette, full pouting lips with eyes you could fall into and never hit bottom? We think that this individual may possess certain paranormal abilities.
Do you know such a woman? My head electricity.
[ screams .]
My skull's flattening! My eyes rolling off the top of my head! Whoa.
Where'd Wyatt snag a set of curves like her? What's she doing now? My head, it's expanding like a balloon! No, wait! It's it's getting smaller.
No bigger than a can of spackle.
In the sky! What's that flying man?! Can spam clam yam.
I am what I am.
I am a yam! Banzai! Direct hit.
Yes.
Enemies damp.
City locked in fear.
Mission accomplished.
Time to head home.
You heard him.
He identified a "flying man.
" That's got to be our UFO we've finally got a lead.
What we have is a seriously disturbed ex-marine.
A flattened head? Delusions like that are way beyond paranoid-schizophrenia.
[ loud whooshing sound .]
FBI.
You're under arrest.
It's intuitive grasp of our language is amazing.
He's nothing more than a high school student seeking attention by climbing onto his roof.
Come on, Molly.
Look at that hair.
That face.
Clever simlulation but no human looks like that.
What does he look like on the inside, I wonder? Thank you for securing him but our visitor is in my hands now.
He'll be transferred to Bethesda where the surgeons will cut him open.
Split his brain.
Poke around.
See how it is he-- or it-- can fly.
Nobody's poking around my brain! I want to talk to my lawyer! I want to talk to my congressman! I want to talk to Connie Chung! This is great.
Gary's missing and you're just standing there.
He could be anywhere.
Aren't you worried? No.
I implanted a homing beacon in his skull while he was napping.
See? That show us where Gary is.
So what's that one? That's the one in your skull.
- Oh, no! - What?! What?! What?! The FBI's captured Gary and they're going to dissect him.
Oh, God.
What are we going to do? Don't tell me-- - You're here to mop the bunker.
- Sorry.
No time for snappy repartee.
You should be frozen.
When you came to my room I synchronized these watches.
I put one in my pocket the other in the bedside table.
After you left there was a seven minute discrepancy between them.
Well, what's a little time-warping between friends? Your tricks won't work as long as that functions.
It's a de-ionization field dampener.
I figured your powers were electric.
It eradicates charged ionic particles effectively neutralizing your powers.
How did you know? After you left my socks were inexplicably clingy.
Lisa? Get me out of here! I don't want anything to happen to him.
I just want to know your connection to this.
Her connection? That will be determined once we've dissected her as well, Agent Scolder.
And so ends another perfect day with Lisa, the K-Mart genie.
Bite me, Wallace.
I guess it's up to Wyatt to save us now.
And now batting clean-up for the Philadelphia Phillies is Wyatt.
[ imitating an echo .]
Wyatt! Oh, man! They got Lisa too? This is great! This is just great! Hang on, guys.
The cavalry is on the way unless the cavalry get sucked into a jet engine.
Look, Agent Scolder.
You've got to let Gary go.
He's not an alien.
He's just a boy.
Nothing special-- complete zero.
Two skinny legs some freaky hair a face you could grease a skillet with.
I think he gets the idea.
Why does he have a homing beacon in his skull? I'll explain it later.
I'd like to help you.
The trouble is I know you can fly.
I just don't know how.
I know you're capable of time manipulation and probably much more.
I just can't prove it but I will.
Believe me, I will.
[ screaming .]
Scolder we got a report from Norad.
- A second UFO is heading this way.
- Wyatt? - Friend of yours? - Not so long.
A second UFO can only foreshadow a potential invasion.
The commitee has ordered a preemptive strike.
As I speak, the trident laser-guided missile has been launched to bring it down.
We've got to do something fast.
You're right.
You wanted to truth, Agent Scolder? The truth isn't out there-- it's here.
- Right in front of you.
- Go on.
I'm not human.
[ gasps .]
[ growls .]
Go ahead.
Put on the shoes.
Flying's fun.
[ growls .]
So that's how Gary and Wyatt created me.
I can't explain the physics, but here I am every bit as magical as you suspected.
You don't actually believe this, do you? I know you believe us if you don't unplug your de-ionizer and give me back my powers Wyatt's going to be spread over the southwest like a handful of mulch.
Please.
I'm the only one who can save him.
But if I let you go my proof is gone as well.
Scolder, that's federal prisoner.
You can't let her go.
- I'm running out of time.
- I've been waiting my whole life for someone like you-- evidence that the paranormal does exist.
Please.
Thank you.
Of course, you realize I have to erase your memory.
What a shame.
Nothing to remember you by.
Except this.
I'm going to hate not being able to remember that.
What did you do to him? Erased his memory like I'm about to do to you.
Ooh! Lis, give me a sec.
Okay.
She's all your's.
My lips are tingly.
So are mine.
Whoa! Lisa! Thank God.
- Now get us out of here! - Wait! We have to disarm thre missile.
Oh, man! Which wire do we cut? In the movies, the live wire is always the red one.
But sometimes the red wire's a decoy for the bomb squad.
- So, not the red one? - You asking me or telling me? - Huh? - What? - Speak up! - What? Excuse me.
[ yells .]
You guys watch too many movies.
The case of the flying boy was never solved.
Though Agent Molly Chalks it all up to mass hysteria I still feel there was something bigger behind it and though my work's too often an intangible fabric of ether stitched together with cobwebs, void of any certainties I know the truth is out there-- somewhere.
ALL: Yee-ha! Yippee! Whoo! Captioned by Grant Brown
Here we go.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Another perfect landing.
Primo idea, wearing the goggles, Wy.
Now I just got to worry about keeping the bugs out of my teeth.
You sure you don't want to try your pair? It's killer.
Three quick pumps on Lisa's helium hi-tops and I'm kissing sky.
Gary.
- You were spotted.
- Again.
When Lisa zapped up those flying shoes you promised to keep a low profile.
Hey, I have been.
I'm a stealth bomber.
So you don't know anything about this UFO that mooned a British airways flight? You try keeping your pant up at mach two.
So I had little fun.
Big Whoops.
What can happen? - I'm Special Agent Scolder.
- I'm Special Agent Molly.
- FBI.
- We're here to Investigate the UFO.
- Any luck? - Not much.
Just keep repeating "A glowing swizzle stick tried to gut me.
" - Doesn't make any sense.
- Why does everything have to make sense? Can science explain why aliens abducted my Jack Russell Terrier? Can science explain the Mutant Worm Boy of Tacoma? The Scandinavian Leech Beavers? The vampires who crashed my bar mitzvah? A swizzle stick form the sky? Makes all the sense in the world, Molly.
Trying to hurt my feelings? Gary's been enjoying his sneakers and you haven't tried yours on.
I got this thing about heights.
My ears pop on a step stool.
Come on.
What have you got to lose? My lunch.
Don't you think Gary's going too public with this flying gig? So someone saw him.
It's not like anyone's closing in on our airline.
The Java Man coffeehouse, originally opened in 1968 as Dr.
Rainbow's cosmic muffin hut.
Closed down by local authorities shortly afterwards.
How come? Controversial brownie recipe? No.
A series of health code violations.
Molly, I was make a joke.
Oh.
We should have a signal for that.
Mmm.
Really, Scolder, do you expect to find your purported extraterrestrial visitor in a coffeehouse? After traveling 180,000 light years wouldn't you need a little perk-me-up? Did you catch that one? Yes, I did.
But I just didn't find it particularly funny.
Fair enough.
I say we sit here, order a couple of frapachinos and keep our eyes open for anything unusual.
Thank you very much, loser.
- Are you cheating? - Excuse me? Sorry.
It's just Ladies and gentlemen we'd like to remind you that abroad this flight there are no rules, no seat belts and no peanuts.
Thanks for flying air Gary.
[ screaming .]
Bad turbulence.
Bad turbulence.
Mayday.
Mayday! [ Screaming .]
I'm on my way.
There's been another UFO sighting.
Something apparently crashed to Earth.
They need me at the Coroner's office.
You go ahead.
I'll be fine here.
Extensive tissue damage suggests the subject crashed from a height of approximately 12,000 feet.
Internal contents show the last meal to consist of white bread, bologna, mustard, and what appears to be cheese possibly cheddar.
Said contents indicate a juvenile appetite.
Bite radius concurs.
In conclusion evidence begs the question-- Who or what dropped a bologna sandwich from 12,000 feet? On a stakeout, huh? No black and white, no cherries on top.
- You're a G-Man, aren't you? - You're obstructing a federal investigation.
I knew it.
FBI.
A real live FIB-EE.
Hot chow.
Hey, how many guys have you, you know taken out? Only one.
But we went dutch.
- That's a joke.
- [ laughs .]
Anyway, I've dreamed all my life of being a fed.
I've applied like 400 times.
Chet Donnelly.
- Sound familar? - Donnelly? So you live at that residence? Yeah.
Well, it's only temporary.
How'd you like to give us a hand in this investigation Chet? Would I? Oh, yes! Wyatt, your brother's outside talking to the FBI.
What? - Are you sure it's the FBI? - I've seen him at the Java Man.
We're under surveillance.
Okay.
Don't panic.
We'll be all right as long as Gary stays out of sight.
[ loud whooshing .]
Whew.
You wouldn't believe the turbulence up there.
Nasty.
I came this close to a 12,000 foot belly flop.
Got anything in the fridge? I lost my sandwich during re-entry.
Forget your sandwich.
I think the FBI has got you staked out.
She's not kidding, Gary.
There's some guy across the street.
Leave it to me.
[ knocking .]
Housekeeping.
Got to clean your room.
You look familiar.
Have we met? Wait by the ice machine while I scrub your tub.
Strange.
You clean these rooms and yet you forget there's no bathtub in this unit.
And if I didn't know better I'd say you were the mystery woman - from the Donnelly Residence.
- Maybe.
I've seen things that I can't explain-- UFO's, time manipulation and now Here you are.
You seem to be in the middle of it.
I just want answers.
That's exactly what I want from you.
Mr.
Smarty-Pants.
"At this point in the investigation, I believe the UFO may be linked to an extraterrestrial organism of superior intelligence" This is rich.
We have nothing to worry about.
I can take a hint.
You don't want to be bothered.
I'll have the morning girl come in.
- You just got here.
- Watch it or your tub will overflow.
[ water running .]
The only thing extraordinary is the size of the bath ring.
That tube was a shower before she came.
Your mystery woman really knows her grout.
In 1959, three Soviet Georgian Yak Herders inexplicably burst into flame.
In 1962, a glowing cloud of Wood Mites destroyed all the Nylon in a Northwestern fishing village.
in 1974, a man the size of a walnut was captured and interrogated by South American freedom fighters.
What does this have to do with the UFO sightings? Damn.
I had it a second ago.
I hate it when that happens.
Could it be your mind is preoccupied with the beauitful, mysterious grout woman? I must confess there is something about her [ knocking .]
It's our star witness who I'm hoping can fill us in on grout girl and our UFO.
[ panting .]
I'm sorry I'm late.
Mom made me take out the garbage.
Wow.
Cool room.
You guys live the life.
Chet, I'd like you to meet Special Agent Molly.
Mr.
Donnelly.
Ma'am.
Mr.
Donnelly.
Chet, we need to ask you some questions.
Have you ever been hypnotized? - Do you think he's under? - I think he's comatose.
Understand.
We have to delicately peel away the subconscious layer by layer before drawing any repressed memories.
Chet.
Do you hear my? Mommy, why can't I play with the dollies? Can I have another fizzle? I don't want to go.
Kindergarten's full of bullies and scary girls.
Um, let's jump ahead to the present.
Okay, Chet? Have you ever encountered a caucasian female, brunette, full pouting lips with eyes you could fall into and never hit bottom? We think that this individual may possess certain paranormal abilities.
Do you know such a woman? My head electricity.
[ screams .]
My skull's flattening! My eyes rolling off the top of my head! Whoa.
Where'd Wyatt snag a set of curves like her? What's she doing now? My head, it's expanding like a balloon! No, wait! It's it's getting smaller.
No bigger than a can of spackle.
In the sky! What's that flying man?! Can spam clam yam.
I am what I am.
I am a yam! Banzai! Direct hit.
Yes.
Enemies damp.
City locked in fear.
Mission accomplished.
Time to head home.
You heard him.
He identified a "flying man.
" That's got to be our UFO we've finally got a lead.
What we have is a seriously disturbed ex-marine.
A flattened head? Delusions like that are way beyond paranoid-schizophrenia.
[ loud whooshing sound .]
FBI.
You're under arrest.
It's intuitive grasp of our language is amazing.
He's nothing more than a high school student seeking attention by climbing onto his roof.
Come on, Molly.
Look at that hair.
That face.
Clever simlulation but no human looks like that.
What does he look like on the inside, I wonder? Thank you for securing him but our visitor is in my hands now.
He'll be transferred to Bethesda where the surgeons will cut him open.
Split his brain.
Poke around.
See how it is he-- or it-- can fly.
Nobody's poking around my brain! I want to talk to my lawyer! I want to talk to my congressman! I want to talk to Connie Chung! This is great.
Gary's missing and you're just standing there.
He could be anywhere.
Aren't you worried? No.
I implanted a homing beacon in his skull while he was napping.
See? That show us where Gary is.
So what's that one? That's the one in your skull.
- Oh, no! - What?! What?! What?! The FBI's captured Gary and they're going to dissect him.
Oh, God.
What are we going to do? Don't tell me-- - You're here to mop the bunker.
- Sorry.
No time for snappy repartee.
You should be frozen.
When you came to my room I synchronized these watches.
I put one in my pocket the other in the bedside table.
After you left there was a seven minute discrepancy between them.
Well, what's a little time-warping between friends? Your tricks won't work as long as that functions.
It's a de-ionization field dampener.
I figured your powers were electric.
It eradicates charged ionic particles effectively neutralizing your powers.
How did you know? After you left my socks were inexplicably clingy.
Lisa? Get me out of here! I don't want anything to happen to him.
I just want to know your connection to this.
Her connection? That will be determined once we've dissected her as well, Agent Scolder.
And so ends another perfect day with Lisa, the K-Mart genie.
Bite me, Wallace.
I guess it's up to Wyatt to save us now.
And now batting clean-up for the Philadelphia Phillies is Wyatt.
[ imitating an echo .]
Wyatt! Oh, man! They got Lisa too? This is great! This is just great! Hang on, guys.
The cavalry is on the way unless the cavalry get sucked into a jet engine.
Look, Agent Scolder.
You've got to let Gary go.
He's not an alien.
He's just a boy.
Nothing special-- complete zero.
Two skinny legs some freaky hair a face you could grease a skillet with.
I think he gets the idea.
Why does he have a homing beacon in his skull? I'll explain it later.
I'd like to help you.
The trouble is I know you can fly.
I just don't know how.
I know you're capable of time manipulation and probably much more.
I just can't prove it but I will.
Believe me, I will.
[ screaming .]
Scolder we got a report from Norad.
- A second UFO is heading this way.
- Wyatt? - Friend of yours? - Not so long.
A second UFO can only foreshadow a potential invasion.
The commitee has ordered a preemptive strike.
As I speak, the trident laser-guided missile has been launched to bring it down.
We've got to do something fast.
You're right.
You wanted to truth, Agent Scolder? The truth isn't out there-- it's here.
- Right in front of you.
- Go on.
I'm not human.
[ gasps .]
[ growls .]
Go ahead.
Put on the shoes.
Flying's fun.
[ growls .]
So that's how Gary and Wyatt created me.
I can't explain the physics, but here I am every bit as magical as you suspected.
You don't actually believe this, do you? I know you believe us if you don't unplug your de-ionizer and give me back my powers Wyatt's going to be spread over the southwest like a handful of mulch.
Please.
I'm the only one who can save him.
But if I let you go my proof is gone as well.
Scolder, that's federal prisoner.
You can't let her go.
- I'm running out of time.
- I've been waiting my whole life for someone like you-- evidence that the paranormal does exist.
Please.
Thank you.
Of course, you realize I have to erase your memory.
What a shame.
Nothing to remember you by.
Except this.
I'm going to hate not being able to remember that.
What did you do to him? Erased his memory like I'm about to do to you.
Ooh! Lis, give me a sec.
Okay.
She's all your's.
My lips are tingly.
So are mine.
Whoa! Lisa! Thank God.
- Now get us out of here! - Wait! We have to disarm thre missile.
Oh, man! Which wire do we cut? In the movies, the live wire is always the red one.
But sometimes the red wire's a decoy for the bomb squad.
- So, not the red one? - You asking me or telling me? - Huh? - What? - Speak up! - What? Excuse me.
[ yells .]
You guys watch too many movies.
The case of the flying boy was never solved.
Though Agent Molly Chalks it all up to mass hysteria I still feel there was something bigger behind it and though my work's too often an intangible fabric of ether stitched together with cobwebs, void of any certainties I know the truth is out there-- somewhere.
ALL: Yee-ha! Yippee! Whoo! Captioned by Grant Brown