What's New, Scooby-Doo? (2002) s03e14 Episode Script

1
[instrumental music]
(Shaggy)
'How much longer now?'
(Fred)
'We're almost there.'
(Daphne)
'Ehhit feels like
we've been driving for years.'
Well, if grandma would
take her foot off the brake
it might not take us so long.
(Shaggy)
'How much longer now?'
(Fred)
'We're almost there, Shaggy.'
At least we'll be home
in time for Valentine's Day.
It is absolutely my most
favorite holiday of the year.
I thought your birthday was
your most favorite holiday.
- And Christmas.
- And Groundhog Day.
Alright, fine,
after all those.
(Shaggy)
'How much longer now?'
(Fred)
'Ask me one more time,
and I swear'
'I'll turn this van
right around, mister.'
(Velma)
'Yep. It's been
a really long road trip.'
[girl giggling]
(female #1)
'Come on, Mike, this is stupid.'
Just keep your eyes closed.
No peeking.
Sheila, will you
be my Valentine?
Oh, Mike, of course I will.
[gasp]
What was that?
I'm sure it was probably
just the wind.
- Aah!
- Aah!
[screech]
[both scream]
(Shaggy)
'Man, is it good to be home.'
Sure beats
creepy roadside motels
full of creepy
roadside monsters. Right, Scoob?
[slurp]
Bacon. Bacon. Bacon.
- Did you read this?
- Fred.
You know I don't like to read
unless I'm takin' a test.
Cool! Leftovers.
Man, I love Chinese food
for break..
It says here
a couple disappeared
from Lovers' Lane last night.
That makes a total
of eight teenagers
who've gone missing
in the past two weeks.
[knock on door]
- Yikes!
- Like, n-n-no thanks.
Whatever you're sellin',
we're not buyin'.
Hey, I heard y'all
were back in town.
George, it's you.
Yeah, we just got
back last night.
Here's all your mail.
I've been holdin' it for ya.
Oh, and these,
just got 'em today.
George, you wanna stay
for some breakfast?
I'm making eggs and.. Socks?
[munching]
[chuckles]
Uh, maybe some other time.
"Everywhere I look,
I'm reminded of you."
"I see the moonlight
in your eyes."
"Hi, cutie."
(both)
"Love, your secret admirer."
Huh?
(Daphne)
'Don't you just love
Valentine's Day?'
Which part,
the rampant commercialism
or the pressure
to identify oneself
in the context of a
socially acceptable couple?
Both.
[knock on door]
Hey, there.
- Heard you were back in town.
- Hi, George.
- How'd you hear that?
- You kiddin'?
The Scooby Gang comin' back
home after all this time?
The town's been talking
about nothin' else
for the past two weeks.
Except for the disappearances
at Lovers' Lane, right?
Well, shoulda known you'd be
right on top of things, Velma
what with you being
so smart and all.
[chuckles]
Right.
Do you have something
for us, George?
Oh, yeah. Here you go.
I have so many admirers,
it's embarrassing. Hee hee.
- Anything for me?
- Sure is.
Gee, the electric bill.
Great.
Oop! Almost forgot.
Just got these in this morning.
"I revolve around you like
the Earth around the sun."
"A rose pales in comparison
to your beauty."
Thank you.
(both)
"Love, your secret admirer"?
They had us tied up
and blindfolded
when one of them stopped
and let me go.
Why me and not Mike?
That's odd. What's this?
Hmm. Looks like
some sort of paste.
Ohanother mystery?
So soon?
Speaking of mysterious
Velma and I got some
interesting mail this morning
Valentines from
a secret admirer.
Hey, so did we.
Hmm. Seems like we all
have a secret admirer.
I wonder who it could be.
Grrr! Arr! Arr!
Well, well, well,
what do we have here?
The Scooby Gang.
You kids come down here
to show us lowly local cops
how it's done?
Well, we don't need your help.
If it wasn't for you
meddling kids coming up here
every night,
we wouldn't be in this mess.
Stay out of our way
before someone gets hurt.
(female #2)
'Well, well, well.'
[dog barks]
- 'Rachel!'
- 'Roxanne'
Like, what are you
doing here?
Working. I'm a reporter
for the paper now.
I've been covering
the Lovers' Lane
disappearances
from the beginning.
A lot's changed
since we broke up.
Yeah. Well, uh,
it's, uh, heh, heh
been a long time.
See, Scoob and I are going
on the road with the gang
and the road's no place for
a long-distance relationship.
I hope we can
still be friends.
[crash]
Get out! We never
want to see you again!
I think I might have left
some CDs here and.. Zoinks!
[crash]
[chuckles]
Now, it all makes sense.
What are you talking about?
We got your secret admirer
Valentines.
Look, we're flattered, really
but it's just not a good idea
for us to start
going out again.
The road, wellchanges a man.
[both laugh]
Yeah, right. We've got
new boyfriends now.
I happen to be
dating J.C. Chasez.
[both laugh]
(Shaggy)
'Yeah, right.'
[screams]
It's them!
They're the ones that
attacked us last night!
(Velma)
'Why would Sheila think
it was us?'
I don't know. Maybe
the stress of the incident
affected her memory.
We're obviously innocent.
Officer McBride sure didn't look
like he believed that.
If he had had any evidence,
I'm sure
he would have
arrested us then and there.
Excuse me. If I could just, uh..
Uh, we haven't ordered yet.
Pizza, fries, chocolate cake.
[whimpering]
[sniffing]
Huh?
Well, at least I managed
to get a sample
of that substance
we found on the ground.
It could be a clue.
Huh?
[spits]
[giggles]
Oh, my goodness!
What a surprise, running
into you guys like this.
I'd like you to
meet my boyfriend, J.C. Chasez.
Nice to meet you all,
especially you, Shaggy.
Rachel's told me
a lot about you.
You're dating J.C. Chasez?
Mm-hmm.
It's the funniest story.
We met because I won
an internet contest.
"Win a date with J.C."
I entered that contest,
like, 500 times.
Uh, you know, for research.
So I won.
We went out
andjust hit it off.
I was so sick of dating
supermodels and pop divas
so I bought a little cabin
on the outskirts of town
and stop in whenever I can
between dates on my world tour.
I'm actually flying out
again tonight.
You'redatingJ.C. Chasez?
It's hard sometimes 'cause
he's on the road so much
but we have the maturity
to make a long-distance
relationship work.
Oh, I'm sorry.
This is J.C.'s dog Ricco
Roxanne's new boyfriend.
Ooh. Hee, hee, hee..
[growls]
[chomp]
[whimpering]
Well, we'll let you guys eat.
Ciao.
Don't feel bad, Shaggy.
J.C. Chasez is nowhere near as..
Well, you're more..
You have..
Check, please!
(Velma)
It looks like this is an
industrial-strength adhesive.
You can't just get it
in any store.
You have to either special-order
it or make it yourself.
That's strange,
what was it doing
on the ground at Lovers' Lane?
[knock on door]
Good, the gang's all here.
I got somethin' for ya,
special delivery.
So I was wondering if, uh..
You'd like to
go out with me sometime.
Oh, George,
I'm flattered, but--
- Not you. Velma.
- Oh!
Gosh, George, I think
you're really a nice guy
but I'm afraid
I'm going to have to say no.
You're not my type.
Girlsall the same.
She'll be sorry.
There's something off
about that guy.
I just have a feeling.
Call it--
(all)
Your woman's intuition!
Yeah! We know!
"Thinking of you
day and night.."
"One glance your way makes
my heart take flight.."
"Now that you've finally
come back home.."
"I can't stand the thought
of being alone.
Meet me at midnight at.."
"Lovers' Lane."
(all)
"Love, your secret admirer."
Lovers' Lane?
That can't be a coincidence.
You think our secret admirer
has something
to do with the disappearances?
Well, there's only
one way to find out.
Go to the movies and hope
everything turns out okay?
- Uhno.
- Oh.
[laughs]
Figured I'd give it a shot.
[dramatic music]
(Daphne)
It feels like we've been
walking in circles.
(Velma)
Where's the clearing, already?
I don't know. I thought
it was right here.
Why don't we split up?
Velma, you, Shaggy,
and Scooby go that way.
Daphne and I will go this way.
If you find the clearing,
call us and vice versa.
What? But we always
split up the teams
me, you, and Daphne,
and Shaggy and Scooby.
Fine, I'm just saying
you're messing
with the formula
that got us here.
I mean, uh, I'm happy for her.
Good! She's moved on
with J.C. Chasez.
Yeah. Hmm! And Ricco.
- What was that?
- Footsteps?
It's coming fromthose bushes.
[growling]
D-d-do you see what I see?
Oh, yeah.
Uhh!
[all growling]
Here's the clearing.
What's that?
It looks like
another Valentine.
It's a letter confessing to all
the Lovers' Lane kidnappings.
- Who wrote it?
- We did.
[yelling]
Is everybody alright?
Like, which version
of us do you mean?
It was us.
We are the bad guys.
[whimpering]
It's them.. I mean us.
I mean.. Oh-ho, boy.
- I mean, we're in trouble.
- Rachel?
- What are you doing here?
- What do you mean?
You guys left me a message
to be here at midnight.
We didn't leave any message.
Well, well, well,
what do we have here?
(Shaggy)
'Officer McBride,
so glad to see you.'
Aren't you glad to see us, huh?
He doesn't seem glad to see us.
Uh-uh. Uh-uh.
[camera shutter clicking]
[door slamming shut]
[harmonica music]
Rogers, Doob,
you've got visitors.
Rachel! Am I glad to see you.
I'm sure you are.
How the mighty have fallen.
Oh, who am I kidding?
I can't stand
seeing you like this, Shaggy!
Rachel, are you okay?
They called and told me there
was a breakthrough in the case.
So I had my pilot
turn the plane around
and came right back.
How could you?
We didn't do anything.
We're, like, innocent.
Yeah, why don't you
make it easier on yourselves
and just confess
to the kidnappings?
I told you.
We didn't kidnap anyone.
You're lyin'!
We've got an eyewitness
and a confession letter!
It wasn't us.
Oh, that's right.
I forgot.
You expect us to believe
someone has created
a group of
your identical evil clones.
Now, tell us the truth! Okay!
The truth is
these fluorescent lights
completely wash your skin out,
that tie is hideous
and what's with your haircut?
Why were you at Lovers' Lane
at midnight?
I told you. We got secret
admirer letters in the mail
telling us to be there.
Whoever is behind this
is setting us up.
I don't want to wear
the same outfit every day!
Look, I've got a plan..
Don't tell Fred I said that,
he thinks he owns that phrase.
that'll prove we're innocent.
'Please, just trust me.'
[clock ticking]
[telephone rings]
(McBride)
'Alright, let's go, you three.'
Finally. We've been here
for five hours already.
Velma, Daphne, what's goin' on?
I figured we could
try and clear our names
and find out
who's really behind this
or risk going to prison
for a crime we didn't commit.
I find it helps
not to think about it.
Instead, I hum.
[humming]
She's had a rough few hours.
There was no bottled water,
she had to drink tap.
[wolf howls]
Nice weather we're having.
Yesit is.
- Not too hot.
- No. No, it isn't.
(Velma on radio)
'Oh, for..'
'You two are supposed
to be on a date'
'not making small talk
with your Aunt Tilly.'
If it doesn't look legit
no one's ever gonna
fall for the bait.
'Fred, put your arm
around her or something.'
Alright! Alright!
[whistling]
Lots of pollen
in the air, though.
What? Oh! Heh.
- Yes. Terrible.
- I have hay fever.
Ah! It's no use.
This is never gonna work.
It's okay. We still have
our contingency plan.
I told ya, Scoob,
you have to be the girl
'cause ya have the legs for it.
(Velma)
'Don't worry, Scooby, remember'
'there's a Scooby Snack
in it for you.'
Uh-uh. No way.
He's off carbs.
Of course it's not as bad
now that I take
medicine for it.
- Daphne?
- Yes, Fred?
Would you, um..
- Would you, uh..
- Yes, Fred?
Would you mind if I
rolled down the window?
It's pretty stuffy
in here and your perfume
is affecting my sinuses.
[thud]
What was..
[clanging]
[growls]
[screams]
[both scream]
I didn't know
I was so scary-looking.
Me, neither.
Rawwrrr!
[clang]
Let's get outta here.
[both scream]
I told you. Come on.
[Sahara Hotnights
singing "Walk on the Wire"]
Sunday comes
and my baby's not here ♪
I make lonely weekend calls ♪
I got to tell you something
can't say nothing bad ♪
No more come on come on ♪
Did you ever
see my ghost before? ♪
Hey ♪
Who's gonna
walk on the wire? ♪
Walk on the wire ♪
Who's gonna
walk on the wire? ♪
Oh whoa whoa ♪
I don't wanna
be with no other ♪
Hey ♪
Oh whoa whoa ♪
Walk ♪
On the wire ♪
Hey ♪
Oh whoa whoa ♪
Walk on the wire ♪
Walk on the wire ♪
Walk on the wire ♪♪
[chuckles]
- Rock.
- Thanks.
No! Not "You rock",
just, "Rock!"
[thud]
[growling]
Now!
Oh!
[bash]
[boing]
Whoa!
Like, I never want to
look in a mirror again.
You said it.
Now to see
who's really behind all this.
(all)
J.C. Chasez!
Why would you do
somethin' like this?
I was jealous, okay?
Jealous ofhim!
Butwhy?
"Shaggy said this.
Shaggy said that.
"Shaggy solved
another mystery.
Shaggy ate 15 hoagies
in one sitting."
'That's all I heard from Rachel'
'nonstop for the past year!'
All my awards,
my platinum albums, nothing!
Do you have any idea what
it's like living in that shadow?
J.C. Thought the easiest way
to ruin the memory
of Rachel's previous boyfriend
would be to frame him
for a crime.
He knew from Rachel
we were coming back home
so he conceived
the Lovers' Lane disappearances.
He hired extras
to play the rest of us
and a Hollywood
makeup artist to create
the masks and costumes
which explains
the industrial-strength glue
we found in the woods.
He sent us secret admirer
Valentines to get us out here
then he used our signatures
from the ones he sent
special delivery
to forge
that confession letter.
Wait a minute.
Let me get this straight.
You're saying
I was played byan extra?
I can't believe you would
do something like this.
That was so sweet.
- Gahh!
- Gahh!
So where are all
the missing teenagers?
Follow us, officers.
[laughter]
J.C. mentioned
he'd bought a cabin
on the outskirts of town.
He purposely let Sheila go
so she'd be sure
to identify us to the police.
And I would have
gotten away with it, too
if it hadn't been for you
meddling kids!
[teens screaming]
Oh, my gosh! It's J.C. Chasez!
[all screaming]
Back off!
- He's mine!
- Hey!
Well, this sure has been a
interesting Valentine's Day.
(Daphne)
If by "Interesting"
you mean crummy
then, yes, I agree.
An extra! Ugh!
Was Sarah Michelle Gellar
too busy?
I don't know
about you guys, but
I sure am ready
for another road trip.
[screaming]
Love, man.
What are you gonna do? Ha ha!
It's like all the songs say,
"Yada, yada, yada.
"Love will give you
a headache.
- Yada, yada, yada."
- Ahh-ooga!
Man, I think I'm in love.
Yeah. Me, too.
Scooby-Dooby-Doo!
Happy Valentines to you!
[theme music]