Austin and Ally s03e15 Episode Script

Guess who's going to the Zalien convention! Dez got us tickets.
He was in line for three days.
I didn't sleep, shower or brush my teeth the whole time.
Can you believe it? Yes.
Yes, I can.
The best part is I get to take my four favorite people.
One for me, one for Austin, one for Trish, and of course, the brilliant and beautiful - Aw, Dez - Carrie.
Carrie? But she can't go because she's teaching a self-defense/ country dance class.
It's called "tae Kwon do-si-do.
" Yee-haw Hyah! Since Carrie can't go, I have to move on to my fifth-favorite person.
Ally Would your dad like to go to the convention with us? My dad?! No.
He's out of town.
Aw, man.
Well, on to my sixth-favorite.
Ally Would you like to go to the convention with us? As sweet as that invitation was, I don't wanna spend my Saturday doing nerdy, boring stuff.
This coming from the girl that goes to cloud-watching club.
Hey! We had a great turnout last week.
Both of us showed up.
Thanks again, Austin.
No problem.
I like cloud-watching club Ever since I learned to sleep with my eyes open.
- What? - Nothing.
Ally, just come to the convention with us.
- Please? - It'll be cool.
Please don't make me invite my aunt edna.
She's no fun since she got out of prison.
Okay, fine.
I'll go.
Just please don't make me wear some weird Zalien costume.
I promise.
We won't make you dress up as a Zalien.
A Xanthian Princess is so much better.
High five! - Whoa-ho-ho! - Whoa! Hey, guys, just because I have six arms, doesn't mean I wanna carry all your junk.
- Ooh, sorry.
- Sorry.
And tell me again why we have to wear these outfits? 'Cause part of the fun of coming to these conventions is getting to play your favorite character.
Yeah, like me.
I'm Veloptu Princess Starna's bodyguard.
Veloptu can't be tamed.
He's like a wild stallion.
Literally.
I'm half-horse.
You have to fully commit to your character, Ally.
Let me see your best Princess Starna.
Ahem.
Hello! I'm Princess Starna.
Ally, please don't ruin this by being yourself.
Princess Starna is fierce and angry.
It's not enough to have the six arms and her fake bushy eyebrows.
My eyebrows aren't fake.
That's the angry look! Yeah I'm not really feeling this whole role-playing thing.
Oh my gosh! You're like the perfect Princess Starna.
Can we take your picture? You are so beautiful! Beautiful? You know, maybe this role-playing thing's not so bad after all.
- Snap away, nerds.
- Yes.
Oh, one for you, one for you, one for you.
Can you believe all this cool Zalien merchandise? What are you eating? Brain jerky.
The Zaliens love eating brains, because they're half-zombies, half-aliens.
No, because they're half-zombie, half Oh.
Yeah, you're right.
I like the Zalien eggs they're selling at that booth.
They have goo inside you can eat.
Ugh! Does that even taste good? Nope! Hey, check out these guys.
Their costumes are awesome.
Princess Starna! We are humbled by your presence.
I am Zip.
And I am Zilch.
May the rings of Magalar bring you good fortune and many tentacled children.
- Uh, thank you? - Heh.
Watch your language.
There are young galoopters present.
I can't believe a woman of your upbringing would talk like that.
If you weren't the Princess, I'd Hey! Show some respect.
You wanna get hoofed? Sorry, the Princess is a little rusty on her Zalien vocabulary.
I guess you could say she And she's a little tired.
It was a long flight from Xanthia.
We understand.
We arrived yesterday on our mission to retrieve the Zalien prince egg! But of course you know that, your highness.
Your un-hatched cousin is next in line for the throne.
Oh! Yeah, I knew that.
Cousin Eggbert.
Love that guy.
Our king sent the prince Egg to earth to protect him from the bounty hunters.
Unfortunately, our egg handler Zed hid the egg and forgot where he put the dang thing! Zed's the slow one of the group.
Yeah, we have one of those too.
It's him.
Luckily, our G.
P.
S.
Located the egg, in this building.
We still haven't been able to find it.
And even if we did, we wouldn't be able to get back to Xytrax! Yeah, our shuttle won't start.
There's just this blinking "Check engine" Light.
We've sent word to our repair crew and are waiting for their arrival.
Wait! Are you the mechanics? You bet! What are you doing? Uh, it's called role-playing.
Watch and learn.
Where's the transportation vessel located? Oh, it's in the parking lot.
If their costumes are this good, their ship must be awesome! Let's go check it out.
I'll stay here and protect you, Princess.
Look out! It's the evil Zolofrox dressed as a janitor.
And he has a laser stick.
I'm pretty sure that's just a janitor dressed as a janitor.
Sorry.
- Whoa! - This shuttle is amazing! It's not the fastest of the fleet, but it does get like - Hmm.
- Tinted windows.
Sweet.
They're custom.
Lethusian chicks dig 'em.
Ooh Whoa! This is just like the mission control board in the Zalien movies.
Oh, yes, the movies.
They are very entertaining, but not very accurate.
Everyone knows that Zaliens don't have two hearts.
They have three! Wow! This ship is so detailed.
These guys really take their role-playing seriously.
Maybe too seriously.
You don't think they're real Zaliens, do you?! Yes, they're real and I have a huge crush on you.
Dez, they're not real.
You guys hungry? We're about to eat.
Zilch, you don't mind, do you? Help yourself.
Zalien brain suck! Okay, they're real.
I was right.
Aah! Wait.
That means you have a crush on me! So, when did you realize you had a crush on me? I don't have a crush on you! We gotta get outta here before they find out we're not really Zaliens! What's the worst that could happen? Um, they're zombie aliens, which means they eat human brains.
We have brains! Or at least I do.
Come on, let's go.
We only have one earth day to find the prince Egg and get home.
You need to fix the ship now.
- Uh - Of of course.
Just let me check the crystal transponder.
You just blew up the eighth moon of zarkania.
You should really label these buttons.
You're an incompetent You're fired! Eh, I'm used to it.
Wait! This should do the trick.
Shuttle will self-destruct in 10 - Nine - Seriously, why is nothing labeled?! Are you trying to blow us up?! six Self-destruct cancelled.
You guys are Zalien mechanics, aren't you? Uh, yeah.
We graduated from Oh, really? Do you know Sheila? Tall, green, eats a lot of brains? Love her.
Dez, we need to fix this ship or we're Zalien food.
Wait a minute.
They had to fix the shuttle in "Zalien 13.
" Too bad I missed that scene 'cause I was in the bathroom.
Darn you, small bladder! - Yay! - Yay! You fixed our ship.
- Who's the incompetent - Now? As much fun as I had being Princess Starna, I can't wait for us to go cloud watching tomorrow.
Uh, that cloud's beautiful.
I wasn't sleeping with my eyes open.
I can't believe what just happened! You know those losers in Zalien costumes?! Mm, you're gonna have to be a little more specific.
Zip and Zilch are real Zaliens! They're here to find the lost prince Egg and Trish has a huge crush on me! That's not true.
I mean the part about the crush.
The Zaliens are real.
Don't be ridiculous.
Zaliens aren't real.
They're just characters from a movie.
Hey.
You forgot to fill out a work report.
Uh, yeah.
We weren't running away from you in fear.
We were, uh, taking our lunch break.
Oh A very tasty-looking lunch indeed.
Human brains are the best.
I think I'll take the blond one.
I'll take the brown-haired one.
No! We weren't gonna eat their brains.
I think they expired a little while ago.
Don't wanna get you sick.
Nonsense! Humans are good way beyond their expiration date.
It's fine, Trish.
Go ahead, eat our brains.
Ohh Zalien brain You don't wanna eat their brains.
These two are famous humans.
They're greatly admired here on earth.
Oh, are they world leaders? Great scientists? Doctors who cure diseases? Nope, better.
They sing and dance.
I don't get it.
I'm still probably gonna eat them.
You can't! They're special.
They play music that makes people happy.
Hmm, I don't know.
I'm still probably gonna eat them.
Wait! We'll prove it to you.
They can put on a performance.
Yeah! They can do a song for you at the convention center.
And you'll see that they're worth saving.
Fine.
If they provide adequate entertainment, they don't have to be the meal.
We have to go back to the convention center anyway to look for the prince egg.
Okay, I'm all about having Zalien fun, but I think you guys are taking this a little too seriously.
Yeah, we're not gonna perform for a bunch of fanboys just 'cause you can't stop role-playing.
Zalien brain suck! Zaliens are real! That means they almost really sucked my brain.
Yeah, and now you have to perform for them to save your lives! Austin, you have nothing to worry about.
You're an awesome singer, a great dancer and you always put on the most amazing shows.
Ally, we're gonna miss you.
- Are you nervous? - Yeah.
We have to perform like our lives depend on it, because our lives depend on it.
Break a leg, guys.
Wait.
Don't break a leg.
They eat the weak.
Look, you're either gonna nail it, or you're gonna get your brain sucked out by some angry aliens.
The important thing is that you have fun.
This song is dedicated to our friends from Xytrax.
I hope you like it.
I really really hope you like it.
That was more than adequate, humans.
Yes, we have decided it would be unwise to suck your brains.
- Yes! - We're adequate! I get to keep my brain! So, I guess we'll be seeing you guys.
Have a safe trip.
Oh, no, you'll be coming with us.
What?! We enjoyed your show so much we're going to take you back to our planet to give to the king instead of the prince Egg.
You get to spend the rest of your lives as musical slaves.
Ooh, yay! Aah, that's horrible! - Musical slaves? - Another planet? Yes! We're going to another planet! I call shotgun! How do you know the king is gonna even like their performance? Some people don't like the way I dance.
- Brilliant! - Teach us your ways! Well, let's just say the king doesn't like my performance.
What happens then? Don't worry.
He'll still suck your brains.
It's a win-win.
For you.
- Mmm.
- Ooh.
Well, um take me instead! I can be very entertaining.
I tell jokes.
So a Zalien walks into a Lethusian diner.
The lethusian waitress says Trust me.
That's hysterical if you speak Lethusian.
You're very funny.
But you're not a human.
Yeah, I am.
Not.
Since we haven't found the prince Egg, we cannot go back to the king empty-handed.
The souvenir snow globes aren't cutting it anymore.
Mm I have an idea.
You heard the Zaliens.
They were sent here to find the prince Egg.
If we find it, maybe we can trade it for our freedom.
Good point.
The egg must still be at the convention somewhere.
We just need to stall them so you and Dez can find it before we blast off.
Oh! I know.
You guys wanna learn my signature dance? Ooh! - Now twirl.
- Ooh You are the most talented creature in this entire solar system! You've got to be kidding me.
Trish, wait! What?! Free brain jerky samples? - Focus! - Aww.
Let's get the egg and get out of here.
This shouldn't be too hard.
It has to be one of those.
Or one of those.
There are hundreds of eggs! How are we supposed to know which one's the prince egg? Real Zalien eggs are unbreakable.
Then I guess there's only one thing we gotta do.
Excuse me.
Aw, cool! Aw.
Oh! We went through all the eggs! There's one left! That's gotta be it! I worked for three years and sold my bike to buy this collector's edition egg, but it was totally worth it! We'll be taking that.
It didn't break! - That's the prince egg! - Yes! Climb the rope, climb the rope.
Wash the windows, wash the windows.
Dry your hands, dry your hands.
You think that's cool, check these moves out.
Boom.
Eh - Ally, do your thing again.
- Ooh Wait! They're not just gonna trade Austin and Ally for the prince egg.
Zaliens are tough negotiators.
There's gonna be a lot of offers and counteroffers.
This could take hours.
I'll trade you the prince egg for my friends.
Deal.
Yeah! You're a human! Is that my scrunchie? He's a human?! Let's all eat his brains! - Trish! - Sorry.
Zalien brain suck! Dez! Dez, wake up! I just had the scariest dream.
What happened? Trish had a crush on me.
You were screaming something about Zaliens.
Oh, yeah.
There were Zaliens in it, too.
They took you guys as musical slaves, and sucked out my brains, or something.
But Trish had a crush on me! Oh, great.
Now I'm gonna have nightmares.
Oh, but in my dream, we met real Zaliens at the convention.
Speaking of which, let's go.
Ooh.
Uh We already went.
We tried to wake you up.
But you were so tired from staying up for three days, to get tickets that you slept through the whole thing.
Aw, man.
I missed the convention? Sorry, bud.
But I saved you some brain jerky.
Ugh! Once you've had real brain jerky you can never go back to the fake stuff.
Ugh So I said, "that's not a" "That's my girlfriend.
" So, what do you get when you cross a Lethusian with a? I don't know, but you better Your Why is this funny again? Ally, don't be such a Good one! So where are you two from? Oh, Zarkania? I'll speak slower then.