Bewitched (1964) s03e15 Episode Script

Forced landing.
My goodness! Oh, good heavens, Aunt Clara.
- Are you all right? - Oh, yes, yes, yes.
- My goodness.
- Oh, yes.
Oh, well.
My, I'm glad you dropped in.
Darrin's in Boston on business.
- Yes, I know.
- You do? - How's Tabatha? - Wonderful, just wonderful.
We're going to the park as soon as I measure the gazebo.
Oh, yeah.
The what? The gazebo.
That thing you just crashed through.
- The summer house.
- Oh, well.
Oh, dear.
Well, I feel much better crashing into the gazebo than I would the summer house.
- You wanna come to the park with us? - Oh, I'd love to.
Afterwards, would you mind babysitting for a while, while I go to the bank? You see, I have been delegated by Darrin during his absence to negotiate a loan.
- How about that? - Oh, I'm very impressed.
What does it mean? It means we'd like to borrow money from the bank so we can tear down the gazebo and put up a rumpus room.
- Oh, well, I wish I'd known.
- Known what? Well, if I'd known you were gonna tear this thing down I would've tried to land right dead centre.
- Oh, my goodness.
- Oh, yes.
- This is where we usually sit.
- Oh, it's a lovely spot.
- Lovely.
- Good morning.
Good morning.
Isn't that cute? No, Tabatha.
That doesn't belong to you.
No.
Come, dear, while Mother gets a drink of water.
She's got enough toys now to open a toy store.
Yes.
Tabatha, I said, no.
- Funny pony.
- No, it's not a funny pony.
It's an elephant.
Elephant.
And you must not take what doesn't belong to you.
That's very wrong.
- Yes, that's very wrong.
- Funny pony.
She needs more sleight of hand if she's going to act like that, you know.
What happened to? Well, of all the nerve! - Well, I'm terribly sorry, but - Can't you get her one of her own? - Well, l - Here, love.
Here you are.
Please, let me explain.
You see, it was just an accident.
Well, maybe "accident" isn't quite the right word.
How about "regrettable occurrence"? "Unfortunate circumstance"? Oh, she's very hard to please.
Accident, eh? Some accident, you You You toy snatcher, you! I'm Mr.
Scranton.
You wish to see me about applying for a loan? Yes.
Well, actually, my husband is applying for the loan.
But a business matter came up, and it made it impossible for him to be here so I volunteered to come and give you any information you might need.
Sort of expedite matters.
Isn't that how you bankers put it? - No.
You're Mrs.
Stephens? - Yes, Mrs.
Darrin Stephens.
Come in, please.
Sit there.
- Excuse me, sir.
- Yes, Hawkins? The appraisal on the Nelson house.
I have completed it.
To put it simply and kindly under no circumstances would I recommend the loan.
Well, why not? The Nelsons' credit rating Shall we say that the Nelsons' character references fell short of the mark.
They did? But they seemed so solid.
Well, they certainly could have fooled me.
Well, forgive me, sir, but not me.
I never believe what I see on the surface.
I like to dig.
Oh, I'm sorry.
This is Mrs.
Stephens.
She's applying for a loan for her husband.
- Hi there.
- How do you do, I'm sure.
You see, actually, it's my husband who I just can't believe it about the Nelsons.
Have you ever applied for a loan with us before? No, sir, but we use your calendars.
- What is the purpose of the loan? - Home alterations.
My husband wants to tear down our gazebo and build a rumpus room.
I see.
What's a gazebo? Permit me, sir.
A gazebo is a quaint word, fast going out of style that some people, few though they may be use when they refer to a summer house.
Most of them are very small.
The summer houses, I mean.
If it's a summer house, why don't you call it that? Oh, I will.
I will.
Well, where is your husband employed, Mrs.
Stephens? Advertising agency, McMann & Tate.
McMann & Tate? - McMann & Tate! - That's right.
Why, my brother's firm is one of their biggest accounts! Why didn't you say so? Welcome aboard! - How much do you want? - Who is your brother? Well, Tom Scranton, president of Super Soapy Soap.
Super Soapy Soap? Why, that's one of the firm's largest accounts! Is that so? Well! "Super Soapy Soap: The soap your skin loves to sud.
" Say, wasn't it your husband's firm that came up with that slogan? My husband wrote it.
Well! What a small world this is! I know your husband's boss.
Larry Tate, right? Right! Larry Tate.
Good old Larry Tate.
Well, well! Well, we can move this loan right along.
There'll just be this little application for you to fill in.
A mere formality, I assure you.
If my brother can trust your husband's firm with a million-dollar account I guess we can risk a few bob on him.
Are you still here, Hawkins? Hawkins, I want you to go out this afternoon and inspect Mrs.
Stephens' property.
- Just a formality.
- Yes, sir.
A loan to tear down a summer house A gazebo, Hawkins! A gazebo.
A gazebo.
Oh, Aunt Clara, everything just went beautifully at the bank.
You Tabatha.
Me Jumbo.
What on earth are you doing? Oh, it's so long since I've been an elephant.
Why are you trying to be one now? Tabatha wants that toy elephant that she saw in the park.
Remember? Why don't we try this? It's one of her favourites.
I did.
I've tried every toy in the house.
I've tried everything.
Oh, dear.
Excuse me.
Oh, just a minute.
No There's one thing I haven't tried.
Hello? Oh, hi, Darrin.
I'm so glad you called.
Guess what.
They're gonna give us the loan.
Oh, they're practically gonna give us the bank.
In the park, all pink and new Polka dots of every hue Hear this wish, hear this chant Tabatha wants an elephant Oh, dear! Oh, I will, dear.
I'll see that everything is shipshape when the appraiser comes.
Oh, now, Darrin, sweetheart, don't worry.
I promise you, everything will be in perfect order.
Hurry home.
Bye.
Oh, my stars! Aunt Clara, what have you done? Well, I Get Get Get rid of this elephant.
- What elephant? - This elephant.
- Tabatha loves him.
- Well, the bank won't.
Aunt Clara, you've got to do something.
- You've got to get rid of it.
- You mean now? Yes, now.
Oh, I can't.
I'd love to oblige, dear.
But, unfortunately, I can't.
Well, Aunt Clara, you cast the spell.
Just uncast it.
Yes, but I can't without the toy from the park.
I should have had that in the first place.
Well, you should have thought of that before.
But I was thinking of elephants.
I can't think of everything, you know.
Oh, of course you can't, dear.
We have to have that toy.
I hope the woman's still there.
I'll go see.
Oh, yes.
And I'll stay with Tabatha.
And in the meantime, I'll work on it.
Yes, fine.
All right.
Oh, no.
No, if I leave you here and you work on it l'm apt to have an entire zoo before I get back.
Now, come over this way.
Come on.
Now, there must be some other spell we can use.
- Yes.
- Okay? Well, so let's try one.
Well, try something.
Try anything.
Colours pink and blue and grey Why don't you just all go away? Yes.
I was afraid that was no good.
I have it! Oh, I have the perfect solution.
What? Call the exterminator.
Oh, Aunt Clara.
- Hello? - Hello, Sam.
Larry.
Oh, hi, Larry.
How are you? Oh, I'm fine.
Just fine.
How are you, Sam? Oh, listen.
The reason I called is I just had a funny call from Leon Scranton.
Leon Scranton, the bank president? Yeah.
The reason he called me was he had a funny call from the appraiser.
- The appraiser? - Yeah.
Are you ready for this? The appraiser told Scranton that you have an elephant in your living room.
He did? Why would he say a thing like that? Now wait, wait, wait.
There's more.
- There is? - He also said that the elephant was pink with multicoloured polka dots! Well, that's That's crazy.
Isn't it? Of course.
Don't worry.
I took care of everything.
- You did? How? - Listen, Sam.
Scranton's a bit of an oddball.
It seems to run in the family.
So if it's all right with you, I'll bring Leon over to your house at 4:00 so that he can see for himself that the whole thing is utter nonsense.
Well, frankly, Larry, l Because we don't want Leon telling his brother that his million-dollar account is being handled by a man who has an elephant in his living room in living colour.
- Do we? - No.
No, we certainly don't.
Okay.
Well, I'll see you at 4.
All right, Larry.
See you at 4.
Bye.
Aunt Clara, Larry is bringing the bank president by at 4:00.
Why? To prove that we do not have an elephant in our living room.
Now, we have to get rid of that elephant or else! Or else.
- Heave.
- Ho.
- Heave.
- Whoa.
- Heave! - Ho.
Oh, Aunt Clara, don't stop now.
We have to get it outside.
If we do, there's a chance Mr.
Scranton won't see it.
Samantha, now, you have such a flair.
Why don't you, you know, try to get him out to the patio? Aunt Clara, if I could him out to the patio, I would him back to Africa.
Now, come on.
- Heave! - Ho.
- Ho! - "Heave ho.
" Now, Mr.
Scranton and Tate, I will await without but not without a pink polka-dotted elephant.
Well, we did it! Did what? Oh, sometimes, you know, I think you're very vague, dear.
Well, now all I have to do is put you to bed change clothes, fix the refreshments and Oh, well, what's the rush? I have all of two minutes.
Come on, Tabatha.
Up we go.
Samantha! Nice elephant.
Nice Oh, please go out and play in the yard.
Oh, nice elephant.
Never mind the music.
Oh, please! Nice elephant.
Pretty elephant.
Nice eleph Bad elephant.
Oh, really, Aunt Clara.
Why did you let it back in? I couldn't help it, dear.
He was crashing through the window there and the glass.
And I didn't know if you had it insured.
Aunt Clara Aunt Clara, that's it! What's it? That's why he didn't wanna stay out! He wanted to be with Tabatha.
Oh, yes, well, I knew that from the start.
They're crazy about each other.
Oh, I wonder who that can be.
Oh, I bet it's Mr.
Scranton.
Come on.
Let's see if he'll follow Tabatha into the den.
Come on.
Oh, wait Wait a minute! Wait Wait for me! Brace yourself, Mr.
Scranton.
You are about to see one very pink polka-dotted elephant on the patio.
Leon, this boy needs to be grounded.
You stay there and play quietly, huh? Now, I'm sure as long as they're both here they'll stay put and there won't be a problem.
Now, Aunt Clara, I want you to go to the park and get that toy.
I don't care how you do it.
Oh, yes, I do.
Absolutely no witchcraft.
- No witchcraft.
- Yes, all right.
Now, hurry.
Yes, I will.
Wait.
Will you just give me a boost? Oh, why, certainly.
- What's keeping them? - A pink polka-dotted elephant.
What else? Refreshments on the patio, and I'll wear my brown dress.
Coming! - Hi, Larry.
Gentlemen.
- Good afternoon.
Doesn't take you very long to change, does it? Well, that depends.
Into what? May I suggest that we dispense with the amenities and go directly to your patio.
Now, hold on, Hawkins.
You're getting a little highhanded.
- I think - No.
That's exactly what I had in mind.
I have some cool drinks for us.
You lead the way, Larry.
This way, gentlemen.
Mr.
Hawkins.
You said it was on the patio.
Come on.
Show us where.
What did you do with it? He's got to be here.
I saw you push him out here.
Push what where? The elephant.
Maybe he's in the garage.
Congratulations, madam.
Congratulations? For what? Well, you've won today's grand prize for having the only toy elephant in the park with polka dots on it.
Twenty dollars for you, dear.
Now may I take the elephant for the prize committee? - Wait a minute! - Oh, no, I can't.
I can't, dear.
The contest will be over at 6:00.
Yes.
What is it with that elephant? It wasn't in the garage but he's here someplace, and I'll find him.
- How far do you wanna go? - I don't care.
- I smell a rat.
- Oh, come on.
Be consistent.
If you smell anything, smell an elephant.
If he's not out here, then he's somewhere in the house.
Mr.
Hawkins, really.
Mr.
Hawkins, I must protest.
- Please! - Where have you got him? - What? - I know.
You've got him hidden.
In a closet.
That's what it is.
In a closet.
An elephant in a closet? Now are you satisfied? Now I'm satisfied.
That's not an elephant? Somebody tell me that's not an elephant.
That's not an elephant.
I found it, Mr.
Scranton! I found the elephant and he's every bit as pink and polka-dotted as I said he was.
- All right, Hawkins.
Where? - In the last place you'd expect, sir.
In the den.
Follow me, please.
Leon, where did you find this joker? See for yourselves.
He was here.
He was, I saw him! Why would I say that I saw him if I hadn't? That is a question for you to ask a qualified psychiatrist.
I couldn't agree more.
Enough is enough.
We haven't looked everywhere.
What about upstairs? Upstairs? The kitchen! We haven't tried the kitchen.
At least let's try the kitchen.
You try the kitchen.
And if you find the elephant, let me know.
- I'll come a-running.
- So will I.
There you are! All right.
I'm letting you know.
You may both come a-running.
The elephant is in the kitchen! - King is in the counting house.
- Counting out his money.
You don't have to come in, but come a little closer.
Now what do you say? - What?! - I think you've been overworking him.
Well, I won't be overworking him anymore.
Oh, please, Mr.
Scranton.
Anyone can make a mistake.
All he needs is a vacation.
Well, I'll think it over.
Right now, I've seen enough.
- I'm sorry to have bothered you.
- Oh, no bother.
- I'll call you, Sam.
- Fine, Larry.
- Coming, Hawkins? - I'll give him something for his headache, and then he'll go.
Mommy! Mommy! Oh, Tabatha.
I thought I told you to stay in the den.
That's That's not an elephant? Well, actually, it's one of my husband's prize trophies.
He picked it up when he was on a safari in Africa.
Bagged it himself.
I guess he really should have shot it first.
Oh, I hope I'm not too late.
No, of course not, dear.
You've saved the day.
Oh, well, he certainly didn't do anything to help.
What are we going to do if the mother isn't there? Think positive, Aunt Clara.
Haven't we had enough trouble? Oh, yes.
My opinion is yes, yes.
There she is.
Thank heaven she's here.
All right, give me the elephant, and I'll return it from here.
No.
Allow me, please.
Yes.
I want to redeem myself.
Well, of course you do, dear.
But be careful.
Yes.
Have no fear.
No fear.
Polka dots and trunks that bend Bring to us a happy end Oh, look.
Oh, Aunt Clara, that Oh, my! - Shall we make a tactical retreat? - Yes, yes.
Yes.
Hang Hang on, hang on.