Friends s03e15 Episode Script

How much you give me to eat this whole jar of olives? I won't give you anything, but you'll owe me $2.
95.
Done.
I need an atlas! I need an atlas! Why? Do you have a report due? I have a date with diplomat I met.
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while I was giving free massages outside the U.
N.
And I don't know where his country is.
Let's start with the free massages at the U.
N.
It's my new thing.
I figure, "Bodies at peace make peace.
" You might just get the first Nobel Prize in rubbing.
So what country is this guy from? There's a "g" in there.
Where's that? In your atlas! I don't have an atlas.
But wait, I do have a globe.
Hold on.
So what's this guy like? Well, he's very.
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dashing, you know? And very, very sophisticated.
And he doesn't speak English.
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but his translator says he totally gets me.
Okay, here you go.
What is this? It's a globe.
And a pencil sharpener.
Need anything copied? I'm going to the Xerox place.
No, thanks.
Just give me anything I can make two of.
If you have nothing to copy, why go there? Are you just gonna gawk at that girl.
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with the bellybutton ring again? You wanna come? The One Where Ross and Rachel Take a Break .
:staz:.
(staz@post.
cz) Come on, Chloe.
Finish with your customer first.
Come on, Chloe.
Come on, Chloe! Can I help you? We're having second thoughts about our copying needs.
And we'll need more time to think about it.
Chloe, switch with me.
Some guys have a crush on you.
Okay, that hurt us.
Hi, guys.
I haven't seen you since this morning.
Well.
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you know.
What are you doing tomorrow? Both of us? Maybe.
Does that scare you? Relax.
Isaac's deejaying at The Philly.
-You should come.
-We'll be there.
Great.
I'll see you then.
All right! Rock on.
He says that walking with you makes this strange city feel like home.
Me too.
Although this city is my home.
So that's dumb, what I said.
Don't tell him I said that.
You make something up.
Nice! Thank you.
This is me, here.
Your eyes are very pretty.
Thank you very much.
Oh, thank you.
He would like to kiss you.
You don't have to do that now.
No, no, not him! No, you don't.
The moment's over.
There it is, right there.
It's small.
Yeah, but Sergei said it took the Germans six weeks.
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to get all the way across it.
So you had fun? Except for, you know, when you're on a date.
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and you're getting along great.
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but the guy's translator keeps getting in the way? Is Rach in her room? She's still at work, but she said to call her.
Is she gonna cancel on me again? How could she do this? What about our anniversary? This is the extent of my knowledge on the subject.
"Call Rachel.
" What's that on the bottom? That's my doodle of a ladybug with a top hat.
She's fancy.
-Hey, honey.
-Oh, hi.
What's going on? Shipping had a disaster.
I've gotta get this order in.
I'm so sorry, but it looks like I'll be here all night.
What? Well, how about I come up there? No, honey, please.
I just have too much to deal with.
Anyway, I'm going out with Sergei again tonight, and.
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Could you be the translator's date.
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so that when we want to be alone.
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you two can split off? You know, he's kind of cute.
Like, "really kind of cute"? Or "kind of cute" Iike your friend Spackle-Back Larry? Don't call him that.
His name is Spackle-Back Harry.
Maybe we should get going.
What time did Chloe say to get there? -1 0:30.
-What time is it now? So we'll hang out.
Remember when she brought up that thing about the three of us? Yes, vividly.
-She was kidding about that, right? -Yeah, I think so.
Yeah, I think so.
God, it'd be weird if that situation presented itself tonight.
Yeah, I mean.
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what would we do? Dude, I don't know.
She was kidding.
She was.
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Just in case, we should have some ground rules.
Yeah.
For sure.
You probably want the first one to be, "Never open your eyes.
" Because you don't want to be doing something.
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and then look up, right? And see something that you don't want to be seeing.
Good call.
Nice.
Hold it! Hold it! What if my eyes are closed, and.
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and my hand is out there.
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Okay, eyes open at all times! How do we decide where we.
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you know, each would.
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you know.
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be? Right.
Well, you know, we could flip for it.
I guess.
But like, what's heads and what's tails? If you don't know that, I don't want to do this with you.
No, no.
I am looking at a purchase order here.
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that shows we ordered the Riviera bikini.
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in a variety of sizes and colors-- What does it matter what I'm wearing? Could I speak to your supervisor? Thank you.
Hi.
My God! What are you doing here? Well, you said you couldn't go out, so.
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You brought a picnic! What a boyfriend.
That's it.
On Monday, I start wearing makeup.
Honey, this is very nice, but I've got a crisis.
But I've got couscous! Honey, I know it's our anniversary.
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but I told you on the phone, I don't have time to stop.
You don't have to stop.
I'm invisible.
I'm not here.
Yeah, but I don't-- Who approved that order? Well, there is no Mark Robinson in this office.
-Get Mark on the phone! -I love Mark.
Do you know him? Let me check that with what I've got.
See, 038 is not the number for this store.
038 is Atlanta.
Pepper? None for me.
Okay, sorry! Sorry.
As I was saying, the store number is wrong.
And I'm sorry, but-- Oh, my God! I have to call you back.
I've got Shemp in my office.
-What are you doing? -I'm sorry.
But somebody's off the phone! How about a glass of wine.
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by the fire? I can get it going again.
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You're not listening.
I don't have time to stop.
-You don't have 1 0 minutes? -I don't have 1 0 minutes! -Sophie, does she have 1 0 minutes? -I told you, I don't! Don't yell.
This is the most I've seen you all week.
Look, I cannot do this right now.
I've got a deadline! Go home and we'll talk later.
-Yeah, but wait--! -Goodbye! Actually, that's our three-hole punch.
Hi.
Look, about what happened earlier-- I completely understand.
You were stressed.
I was gonna give you a chance to apologize to me.
For letting you throw me out of your office? You had no right coming down to my office.
You do not bring a picnic basket to somebody's work.
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unless they're a park ranger! Excuse me for wanting to be with my girl on our anniversary.
Boy, what an ass am l! But I told you I didn't have the time! Well, you never have the time.
I don't feel like I have a girlfriend anymore.
Do you want me to quit my job.
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so you can feel like you have a girlfriend? It would nice if you'd realize that it's just a job.
Just a job? It's the first time in my life I'm doing something I care about! The first time I'm doing something I'm good at! If you don't get that-- I get that, and I'm happy for you.
But I'm tired of dating your answering machine! I don't know what to do! Well, neither do l! Is this about Mark? Oh, my God! Okay, it's not.
Oh, my God! I cannot keep having this same fight over and over again.
You're making this too hard.
I'm making this too hard? What should I do? I don't know! I don't know! Look.
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maybe we should just take a break! Fine, you're right.
Let's take a break.
Let's cool off.
Let's get some frozen yogurt or something.
A break from us.
--advances in collating in the past five years.
We just got in an X-5000, you know? The X-5000 makes an X-50 look like a T-71 .
It's the dinosaur guy! -Hi, Ross! -Hi, Chloe.
I want you to meet some friends of mine.
He's my hero.
He'll want to blow stuff up 400 percent.
We say we don't do that.
He says, "You gotta.
" Know what? We did it.
Now anytime anybody wants 400, we just say, "Let's Ross it! " And that's the only color that comes in.
Yo, Chloe! Do you have a quarter for the condom machine? What are you doing? I thought tonight's your anniversary dinner.
A little change of plans.
We're gonna break up instead.
And I can speak a little French.
Why? What did I say? Well, you just asked if I wanted to go to bed with you tonight.
Oh, my God! No wonder I get such great service at Café Maurice.
Knock, knock, knock.
Hi.
Could you please tell Sergei that I was fascinated.
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by what Boutros Boutros-Ghali said in the Times? You didn't say "Boutros Boutros-Ghali.
" Boutros Boutros-Ghali.
He says he was too.
Interesting.
So I was wondering-- Before you get all talky again.
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could you also please tell Sergei.
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that I really like his suit.
He said, "Thank you.
You look pretty tonight.
Your hair, golden like the sun.
" So you're a chef? I'm also thinking of opening up my own restaurant.
Really? Could I talk to you behind my menu? What are you doing? Well, I was having a conversation.
Misha's so interested in you, Sergei and I haven't been able to talk at all.
You want me to sit silently, while you three converse? That would be great.
Thank you.
Hi.
It's Mark.
What? ls it my breath? Sorry.
I just thought you were somebody else.
I was just gonna leave a message.
Isn't tonight your anniversary dinner? Rach? Are you okay? Yeah, I'm fine.
You wanna talk? I can come over.
Really, no.
Please.
That's okay.
All right.
I'm coming over with Chinese food.
I'm not hungry.
It's for me.
Bye.
-So what'll you do? -What can I do? One person wants to break up, you break up.
No way.
This is you guys.
Call her and work it out.
We just had this huge fight.
Don't I have to wait awhile? It isn't like swimming after you eat.
Pick up the phone! You know that swimming thing is a myth.
Tell that to my Uncle Lenny.
Why? What happened to him? Nothing.
He just really believes in that.
Then we got into this big fight-- It was awful.
I told him he treats me like a park ranger, something.
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And then.
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I told him I wanted to take a break.
I don't want to take a break.
I'm sorry.
Egg roll? And then I called him and he wasn't there.
He's probably just out.
Thank you, that's very helpful.
I'm glad you came over.
Hi, it's me.
Oh, I'm so glad you called.
Really? This is crazy.
Don't you think we can work on this? What do you want to drink? Who's that? Nobody? Is it okay if I finish the apple juice? Is that Mark? Honey, he just came over-- Yeah, got it! Hey, Dinosaur Guy! Look at you, so sad.
Come dance.
That's okay.
Thanks.
You don't have to smile.
You just have to dance.
I don't feel like dancing.
I feel like having a drink, okay? Two beers! And the vet said it was time.
And so from half a world away.
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while my mother held the phone to his ear.
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I said goodbye to my dog.
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in seven languages.
-Could I have a tissue? -Oh, sure.
I just hope you don't accidentally.
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suck it up through your nose and choke on it.
Sergei would like to apologize for my behavior tonight.
Well, tell him, "Apology accepted.
" Unbelievable.
For the first time in years, someone wants to talk to me.
But do you think he would let me enjoy that? No! You silly diplomat.
Why don't you learn some English? Excuse me, but isn't he paying for your dinner? The man's dog just died.
I have just resigned my post.
Will you accompany me to the Rainbow Room? I have diplomatic coupons.
It would be my pleasure.
My guy has coupons.
Your guy can't even say "coupons.
" Plate.
Plate! Yes! Plate! See, we don't need them.
I like this song.
Well, you're practically dancing, already.
Why don't you just do it over here? What are you, married? Because that's okay.
Oh, be home, be home, be home.
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You're not home.
Still no smile? --Miss American Pie Ameri-can.
It's a very hard language.
Let's do it again.