Glee s03e15 Episode Script

So here's what you missed on Glee: Sue's pregnant, which is crazy I had my eggs frozen in the late '70s.
and she won't say who the father is, but insists that he's famous.
Rachel and Finn decided to get married after Regionals, where the New Directions beat Sebastian and the Warblers and a madrigal group that just sort of made everyone uncomfortable.
And Sebastian made up with Blaine after he realized life's too short to blind people with rock salt.
Quinn thought Rachel and Finn were too young to get married, and refused to go to the wedding.
which makes me really sad, because I would have loved to have seen you in a bridesmaid's dress, Quinn.
but then changed her mind and started texting while she raced to the courthouse, and her car got hit by a truck.
And that's what you missed on Glee! So do you think if Quinn hadn't gotten into her accident, we still would've gone through with the wedding? Yeah, totally.
Totally.
I mean, I'm kind of glad we're waiting.
Now it doesn't have to be a Justice of the Peace quickie.
Hey, I was thinking since Nationals are in Chicago this year, we-we should have the wedding someplace special.
Like-like on the pitcher's mound of Wrigley Field.
O-Or someplace else.
It's not that, it's Quinn.
I can't stop thinking about her.
She's Right behind you.
Hi, Quinn! We missed you so much.
No, don't.
I could have easily become one of those creepy memorial pages in the yearbook, but by the grace of God, I'm here.
Believe it or not this is the happiest day of my life.
Come on, Artie.
I'll race you to the choir room.
(Elton John's "I'm Still Standing" begins) You could never know what it's like Your blood like winter freezes just like ice And there's a cold lonely light that shines from you You'll wind up like the wreck you hide Behind that mask you use And did you think this fool could never win? Well, look at me, I'm coming back again I got a taste of love in a simple way And if you need to know, while I'm still standing You just fade away Don't you know I'm still standing Better than I ever did Looking like a true survivor Feeling like a little kid I'm still standing After all this time Picking up the pieces of my life Without you on my mind I'm still standing Yeah, yeah, yeah I'm still standing Yeah, yeah, yeah Once I never could hope to win You started down the road leaving me again The threats you made were meant to cut me down And if our love was just a circus You'd be a clown by now Don't you know I'm still standing Better than I ever did Looking like a true survivor Feeling like a little kid I'm still standing After all this time Picking up the pieces of my life Without you on my mind I'm still standing Yeah, yeah, yeah Oh-oh-oh I'm still standing Yeah, yeah, yeah I'm still standing I'm still standing, I'm still standing.
Here's a lesson for your board, Mr.
Shue.
Don't text and drive.
Ever.
It's the stupidest thing I've ever done.
Besides sleeping with Puck.
There's a lot of rumors floating around, so let's clear the air.
First of all, all my plumbing still works, which is awesome.
But my spine was severely compressed in the car accident, which basically means I can't move my feet or legs.
But the good thing is that I'm starting to regain feeling, so with a lot of physical therapy, and your prayers, I stand a good chance for a full recovery.
So no tears.
That means you, Tina.
Oh, and I apologize for the number.
My dance moves aren't as smooth as Artie's yet.
With practice, they will be.
I promise that by the time we go to Nationals, I'll be out of this chair, and dancing on that stage.
All right.
Whoo! I'm sorry, I I don't think I understand what you just told me.
I said, I'm making swim coach Roz Washington co-coach of the Cheerios! How can you do this to me? ROZ: I think I can answer that question.
This Saturday the Cheerios! had Regionals tournament.
You were 15 minutes late.
That's unacceptable.
I had a doctor's appointment.
Oh I know.
The doctor had to shine a flashlight in your va-jay-jay to get all the bats to fly out.
I understand that keeping bats out of your womb is an important part of having a baby when you're older than God.
But it is no way to win a national championship.
Sue The lovely and talented bronze medalist Roz Washington has a point.
We need the money and sponsorships that only a national championship can bring to the school, and your condition is compromising your work.
It's settled.
My word is law.
This will not stand! Oh, it's gonna stand.
And you know what else is gonna stand? Your fully-grown, adult baby when he pops out of your birth canal, before he hurries off to the high-powered law firm where he has just made partner.
So take your Centrum Silver, and your old ass, and find a new dream.
What if I can guarantee you a national championship? And how will you do that? The Glee Club.
If they win at Nationals, the school wins a $10,000 cash prize.
I get you that money, I get to run the cheerleading program alone! Five, six, seven, eight! Stop! Please, stop! This is an embarrassment.
Hey, Mercedes.
Who you texting? I'm not texting anyone, I'm donating to the Obama campaign My Droid! Good news! I booked a tour at the Railroad Museum on Friday, which means we're gonna have an awesome Senior's Ditch Day.
What is she doing here? Hey, Granny Panties! I'm taking over Booty Camp1 Why on earth do you want to run Booty Camp? Because, as I established, I want to help you win Nationals.
And I am a champion who can whip that squad of pear-shaped teens into shape.
You're out of shape, you're constantly late, and when you're not too busy texting, you're complaining about the choreography you're too lazy to learn.
You're nothing but a coven of tardy, narcissistic, bloated bags of cellulite who will stab each other in the back at the first glimpse of a solo in a competition hosted by a late-night horror movie host.
Well, those days are over.
Sue? We need to talk about what happened at Booty Camp.
Oh, you mean my epic smack down of the glee club over their complete apathy and lack of professionalism? According to the kids, you were typical abusive belligerent self, only more so.
I just got this e-mail from Kurt.
"Mr.
Shue, save us! Coach Sue is meaner than Tabatha!" First of all, I have absolutely no idea who Porcelain is referring to.
I'm assuming it's gay and niche.
Secondly, based on the pathetic display I just saw? Your glee club's back-to-back victories were flukes.
Oh Against Vocal Adrenaline? On the national stage? You'll be like lambs to the slaughter.
Why are you resisting my help, William? We should try to inspire and encourage our kids, Sue, not humiliate and crush them.
I don't get it.
You were acting like you had turned over a new leaf.
William I'm near the end of my first trimester.
I'm wildly hormonal, riding out massive, unpredictable mood swings.
Stop trying to understand my actions.
Maybe you should talk to your doctor about adjusting your medication? Oh, I'll ask.
I'm going there this week to confirm the sex of my daughter.
Mm! Oh, Sue! That's a mother-to-be single most important doctor visit.
Who's going with you? Same person who's going to help me raise this child, Barbara Gordon.
No one.
We'll Sue, you can't go alone.
No, you need a friend there, for moral support.
I agree.
We'll go with you.
You okay? You seem a little preoccupied.
Oh, well, my brother's in town.
He's picking me up, taking me out to lunch.
Blaine, that's exciting! I finally get to meet this mysterious brother of yours, who you refuse to talk about.
I'm dying to know what he looks like.
Oh, trust me, you you already know what he looks like.
Blainie! Hey, Coop! Hey! Hey.
How are you, bud? Good.
Good to see you, man.
This your, this your boyfriend, here? Actually, yes, it is.
Hi.
Kurt, this is my brother Nice to meet you.
Cooper Anderson.
Oh, my God.
You're the guy from the freecreditratingtoday.
com commercials! Guilty as charged.
Know your score Freecreditratingtoday.
com Slash savings! I love those commercials! The jingle's my ringtone! Excuse me, I'm sorry to interrupt, but, um, I just needed to tell you that I am an enormous fan of your work.
Thank you.
Will you sign my breast? My pleasure.
"Keep on dreaming.
"Yours Mine.
Cooper Anderson.
" You do me a great honor.
And if Alan Menken isn't personally writing you a fairy tale musical at this very moment, I will hunt him down and beat him senseless with a cudgel.
Because you, sir, are a Disney prince.
Wow.
God, it is great to be back in the Midwest.
My commercial's on hiatus, so I told my agent I was headed back to the heartland to press the flesh, do some character research.
Next season's commercials have a lot more intense, gritty character stuff, so I really want to explore my salt-of-the-earth roots.
Blaine, your brother's the best-looking man in North America.
Um, Coop and I are gonna head Excuse me.
Gaston, if I could pull you away from these ladies for just a moment; I have something I'd like to ask you.
Yeah.
I mean, that's that's why I never really talk about my brother.
+ PUCK: We all know why we're here.
I've waited five years for this.
I want ideas for Senior Ditch Day.
Go.
Ooh! A Gershwin/Sondheim scavenger hunt! That sounds like torture.
We want actual ideas, Kurt.
How about a dance movie marathon? Footloose Footloose 2011.
What about a non-alcoholic pub crawl? It's Senior Ditch Day, not Senior Citizen's Ditch Day.
It's springtime.
I would like to see something give birth.
Quinn, I'm so sorry.
It was my wedding that you were going to when you got into your car crash, and you were answering my text message, and now we're all sitting here, and we're talking about this day that's supposed to be the most amazing and unforgettable day of our high school lives, and we're-we're completely ignoring the fact that she's sitting in that chair? It's not right.
It's not right, and it shouldn't be like this.
Well, maybe not, but this is the way it is.
My accident, which you did not cause, by the way, does not define me or ruin our senior year.
I meant what I said in the choir room.
I'm not gonna dwell on this, and neither should any of you, okay? Come here.
Come on.
Come on.
Now, we are ditching as planned.
I think we should go to Six Flags.
The Lady Fabray has chosen wisely.
Six Flags it is.
Meeting adjourned.
Hey! Hey, Finn, can you hang back for a sec? The Apple guy.
The Facebook guy.
Abraham Lincoln.
What do these guys all have in common with us? I don't know.
They were all in a show choir? None of 'em were taken seriously in high school, dude.
They were written off by the world until they got the big idea.
Then bingo! The rest is history.
Okay.
So what's your big idea? Lima's only got 22 pools.
Southern California has I Googled it.
So after graduation, I'm gonna move to L.
A.
and expand my pool cleaning business.
And I want you to be my business partner.
With your brains and my jaw line, I'm telling you, we'd kill it.
Wow, dude, I'm so honored that you'd even consider me.
But you know, after we graduate, I'm going to New York with Rachel.
Okay.
Let's say you weren't, just 'cause maybe she doesn't get into that fancy school or you don't get married right away.
We are.
It's gonna happen.
Okay.
But, hey, could you do me a favor? Um, you know that blonde on Sycamore Street that likes to mow her lawn in tube tops? Yeah, Mrs.
Tennison.
Yeah.
Well, her Jacuzzi's busted.
So, I thought since you know so much about motors, you could take a look at it.
Help me out.
Yeah.
All right, I could probably do that.
Lazy idiots, your leader Will Schuester has informed me that my teaching methods are harsh and too extreme.
So I've decided to show you what a real artist looks and acts like.
Ladies and gays, as my gift to you, which you do not deserve, I give you Porcelain's famous brother Actually, it's my brother.
Cooper Anderson.
Thank you, Sue.
Namaste.
Okay.
Guys, it was just a few years ago that I was sitting in a sad drab room like this with dreams like yours that I thought would never come true.
But you know what? They did.
So, tomorrow, at Sue's insistence, I will be teaching a Master class in acting for anyone who's interested in becoming successful in the business like me.
Fantastic! Cooper, we can't thank you enough.
This is so generous of you to share your time and expertise.
Well, it's very clear that the Anderson brothers are very talented, and I'm sure that there were many a family holiday where the two of you maybe did a little duet by the piano? Actually, it's funny that you should mention that because Blaine and I were famous around the neighborhood.
Not famous.
We were pretty famous around the neighborhood for our dueling Simon LeBon impressions.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Please don't make me do that.
Oh, no, Blaine, you have to.
You're both so handsome and good.
Come on, Blaine.
What do you say? How about a little Duran Duran? Is that okay? Yeah.
Come on.
Okay, okay, okay.
You're on, Cooper.
Ooh, the cardigan's coming off.
Whoo! (Duran Duran's "Hungry Like the Wolf" begins) Darken the city, night is a wire Steam in the subway, Earth is afire Do, do, do-do-do, do-do-do do-do-do, do-do-do, do, do Woman, you want me, give me a sign And catch my breathing even closer behind Do, do, do-do-do, do-do-do do-do-do, do-do-do, do, do (Duran Duran's "Rio" begins) Her name is Rio and she dances on the sand Smell like I sound Just like that river twisting through a dusty land Straddle the line And when she shines, she really shows you all she can Mouth is alive Oh, Rio, oh, Rio, dance across the Rio Grande Hungry like the wolf Hungry like the wolf Hungry like the wolf Don't make a sound Her name is Rio, she don't need to understand Yeah Smell like I sound And I might find her if I'm looking like I can Straddle the line Oh, Rio, oh, Rio, hear them shout across the land Mouth is alive From mountains in the north down to the Rio Grande Burning the ground Her name is Rio, she don't need to understand Smell like I sound From mountains in the north, down to the Rio Grande Burning the ground.
Standing O.
Whoo! Well I was really great in that number.
+ Could I get a wee bit of cheese with that? What part of Scotland are you from? Ireland.
We're the micks, they're the macs.
I'll get you guys some free Cokes.
Oh, cheers.
Bless you.
Why do you do that? Service industry is a great place to try out new accents.
Keeps your instrument from getting rusty.
Use everything.
Will do.
So, nice job on the song today.
Really nice.
Oh, thank you.
You were a little pitchy on "Rio," and your moves lacked a theme, though.
My theme was dancing, I guess.
But you have to give in to it.
Stanislavsky says, "The fingers are the eyes of the body," but he never mentioned that the toes are the ears.
You're unbelievable.
What do you mean? What are you doing? What? All you ever do is tell me what I'm doing wrong.
You waste no opportunity to remind me how much I suck at, like, everything.
(Hanson's "MMMBop" playing) No, no.
Come on, Blaine.
Your balance is completely off.
I just learned to walk three years ago.
If that happened, I'm so sorry.
But I don't, I don't remember it.
Of course you don't.
Hey, hey, little brother, I know there is an age difference between us, But I'd really want to be closer to you.
I want to get to know you a little better, all right? That's why I'm here.
Yeah.
No, I would love that.
I'd like that.
Great! So you're gonna come to my Master class tomorrow, right? Right? Yeah, sure.
Great.
Cheers.
The accent.
Top o' the morning.
Ready? I don't know.
It's super-steep.
In fact, it's the steepest accessibility ramp in Lima.
I know.
I've conquered them all.
I think I'm just gonna go to the front of the school.
That ramp is nice and gentle.
Quinn Fabray! I believe in you.
Now come on.
Prove me right.
You can do this.
I'm not gonna make it.
You will! My arms are like iron! Come on! You can do it! aren't strong like yours.
Yes, you are.
Lean forward and push.
Ow.
Come on.
You're halfway there.
You've got this! Push! Push! That sounds familiar.
It's just like having a baby.
Come on.
You wouldn't know! Three, BOTH: Two one zero.
You made it! Whoo! Oh, my God.
Whoo! Now just stay up there.
I would say that was one of the hardest things I've ever done.
Until you go to Six Flags.
Look, I'm not trying to be a buzzkill, but going to an amusement park when you're in a wheelchair-- especially if you're still getting used to it-- can kind of be a drag.
Artie, it's Senior Ditch Day.
It's the only Senior Ditch Day I'm ever going to have.
I completely agree, which is why I want you to come with me on Friday.
I promise you, it will be the most amazing, incredible and inspiring Ditch Day ever.
Whoo! Welcome, guys, to the Cooper Anderson Acting Master class.
Thank you.
Yes.
Buckle your seat belts, kids, buckle your seat belts 'cause I'm about to pour you a tall glass of "This is how it is.
" First thing you're gonna want to know: Don't go to college.
It is a waste of time.
Number two: Don't go to New York.
Theater is lame and Broadway is dead.
Real actors do TV and film, which means Hollywood is where it's at.
Now let's talk headshots.
Always, without fail, turn into a pose.
Again.
CLASS: Wow.
And again.
CLASS: Ooh And one more time.
CLASS: Oh, yeah! Yes, that is a dynamic headshot, and bam, you just got your first callback.
So now you've got your "sides.
" Your foot's in the door.
What do you do next? Gotta figure out, is it comedic or is it dramatic? Often, it's hard to tell, right? So do what I do: ask the director.
"Is this scene comedic or dramatic?" He will know you're an actor who's not afraid to ask the tough questions, right? Why are you writing this down? Okay, what's the key to a dramatic scene? Finding the emotion.
Connecting with your scene partner.
Oh, no, no and no.
The key to a dramatic scene is pointing.
When people are really emotional, they point their fingers a lot.
That's not true at all.
That's that's terrible advice.
Excuse me, guys, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, Blaine.
Are you an internationally beloved spokesman for the Internet's fastest- growing credit score Web site? GIRL: No.
I didn't think so.
So let's focus in, okay? I'm here for you.
I don't normally do this, but because you're in brother's class and you guys are so nice, I'm gonna give you some Level II stuff.
The secret to great acting, great acting: ignoring whatever the other actor is doing.
Eye contact with a scene partner is incredibly distracting.
I try to tune them out entirely.
Sometimes I wear earplugs.
That way, I don't get distracted by what they're doing, and I can focus on the awesome acting choices I've planned ahead of time.
Like eating a roast beef sandwich, right? Other choices I can plan ahead of time: screaming all my lines! Because I'm really intense.
And the things I'm feeling are really intense! Because I'm an intense actor! Nicholas Cage, right?! Yeah, yeah! Whoo! Bravo.
All right, guys, I don't want you to go cray-cray, but I brought in "sides--" industry term-- from a little show that I auditioned for last week called NCIS.
What does that stand for? Oh, my nana loves that show! Now in this scene, Agent Sciuto has just discovered a dead body.
Who knows what will unfold? Don't look at each other.
Action.
Here's what we know.
Sergeant Pembroke took a bullet at point-blank range.
What we don't know is why he's wearing a dress.
There's a rumor that Sergeant Pembroke was a transvestite.
No, Blaine, say the line again, but this time, point your finger.
Things are serious; a man in a dress is dead.
I don't really feel like pointing, Coop.
Just feels a little stupid.
Well, when a choice feels wrong, it's actually a good sign.
It means you're right on the edge, man.
See, I don't know about that.
I feel like when a choice Coop, you're my brother! Can't you just support me? I'm sorry, are you talking to me right now? Because I can't tell if you're talking to me if you don't point your finger.
Right? That is lesson number one, guys, right? Scene.
Scene.
Scene.
Good work, buddy.
We'll get 'em next time.
Let's go! Whoo! Let's move on to a little acting exercise that I like to call The Emotion Tornado.
Get your hands up to the sky Just a busted control panel, Mrs.
Tennison.
Nothing too serious.
You're a lifesaver.
Noah told me you're going into business together.
No, I said we were thinking about it.
Well, I think it's a great idea.
And if you need any investors, I'd love to be a silent partner.
Or a noisy one.
In California, she's considered ugly.
Dude, I'm not going to L.
A.
Okay, end of discussion.
Let me just say this, and I'll shut up forever.
If getting hitched is a team effort, why are you the one that's always giving up everything? Maybe it's time for Rachel to start thinking about you for a change.
It's not like you're asking her to sacrifice her career.
You heard Blaine's famous brother.
L.
A.
is where it's at.
Rachel could probably get on TV, play the quirky next-door girl or whatever.
And you could try acting, too.
Or go to college.
This could be your day job.
You spend so much time thinking only about her.
Take a couple seconds and think about yourself.
+ I can barely focus.
The thought of a boy clinging to my insides is making me even more nauseous.
Sue, maybe you should wait to find out the sex of the baby.
Besides, boys aren't so bad anyway.
They're disgusting.
They have terrible aim when peeing, they're weak-minded, and when will someone give me a straight answer as to why they have nipples? Sue Sylvester.
Right this way, please.
I'm sorry, is this the father? Uh, no, no.
God, no.
Uh, these are these are my friends.
Mm-hmm.
Sounds so weird coming out of my mouth.
Here for moral support? Yes, exactly.
Anything you have to say to me, you can say in front of them.
DOCTOR: Okay.
Well, looking at your test results, your baby is a girl.
Yes! Ah! A girl! Come on, now.
There we go.
Oh, my toilet seats are spared.
However However? Your amnio came back with irregularities.
So, Coop, have you met George Clooney? Not yet.
But I have had sex with the Progressive Insurance lady.
Perfect.
Don't be a stranger, all right? Follow me on Twitter.
All right.
Tweet me.
Yeah! Ask me why I am so happy, Squirt.
Don't call me that.
My life just completely changed.
I just got an audition for a Michael Bay movie.
Oh, that's great.
Hello? Did you hear me? Michael freakin' Bay.
The movie's untitled, which you know is code for Transformers 4.
You don't seem very happy for me.
Oh, I'm thrilled.
Well, you got a weird way of showing it.
It wouldn't kill you to smile.
Also wouldn't kill you to stop letting Kurt pick out your clothes.
He d-does not.
Mm-hmm, could've fooled me.
Come on, man, we'll have our own ditch day.
You can help me run lines.
It's all about you, isn't it? Well, you know what, big brother, I'm sick of it.
And I'm not going to take it anymore.
(Christina Aguilera's "Fighter" playing) Huh.
After all you put me through You think I'd despise you But in the end I want to thank you 'Cause you made me that much stronger Well, I thought I knew you Thinking that you were true Guess I, I couldn't trust, called your bluff Time is up 'cause I've had enough You were there by my side Always down for the ride But your joy ride just came down in flames 'Cause your greed sold me out in shame, mm-hmm After all of the stealing and cheating You probably think that I hold resentment for you But uh-uh, no, no, no, you're wrong 'Cause if it wasn't for all that you tried to do I wouldn't know just how capable I am to pull through So I want to say thank you 'Cause it makes me that much stronger Makes me work a little bit harder It makes me that much wiser So thanks for making me a fighter Made me learn a little bit faster Made my skin a little bit thicker Makes me that much smarter So thanks for making me a fighter How could this man I thought I knew Turn out to be unjust so cruel? Could only see the good in you Pretended not to see the truth You tried to hide your lies, disguise yourself Through living in denial But in the end, you'll see You won't stop me I am a fighter and I I ain't gonna stop I ain't gonna stop There ain't no turning back I've had enough Makes me that much stronger Makes me work a little bit harder Oh Makes me that much wiser Oh, yeah, oh, yeah Thanks for making me a fighter Fighter Makes me that much stronger Oh, oh Makes me work a little bit harder Oh, yeah, yeah Makes me that much wiser Wiser So thanks for making me a fighter Made me learn a little bit faster Made my skin a little bit thicker Makes me that much smarter So thanks for making me a fighter.
Oh! Dude, watch it! Whoa, sorry.
My toes.
I'm sorry, man.
Hey.
What were you doing? Uh, texting Texting while walking.
That's exactly how I started.
Well, I don't usually text while Think about it.
You know, luckily enough, the guy that crashed into me while I was texting is fine, but, you know, I Okay.
You should really not do that anymore.
No more texting, okay? Well, unless I'm in class or, you know, on the toilet or at a movie or something.
Thank you.
What's going on? Oh, well, that's funny you're here.
I was just, uh, confirming the ditch day amusement park ticket order Oh, count us out.
What? Why? Because we have a super special senior ditch day planned, Artie Abrams style.
Isn't that right, Artie? That's right.
+ Do you think just because you stand there quietly mouth breathing and reeking from this morning's maple-y toaster pastries that you're not interrupting me? What do you want, Jackson? Spit it out.
I heard about your baby.
You did? Yeah.
I heard you're having a baby girl.
Yeah.
Just like you.
Come here.
Just like you.
Dang, Coach.
Don't start lactating.
Can I give you a parenting tip? Sure.
Try to work on your patience.
You gonna tell me what we're doing here? Just follow me.
It's up here.
What is this? This is where we go to play on Senior Ditch Day.
Or, as I like to call it, CripSkip.
Artie! What's happening?! 'Sup, Mickey? I don't think I'm ready for this.
Yeah, you are.
Just trust me.
Oh, we up, up, up for the glow show Yeah, we down, down here on the ground Yeah, we up, up, up, up above love Yeah, we up, up, up through the clouds Yeah, we up, yeah, we up Come on, come on, come on.
You're gonna find a way-ay Find a way-ay to be You're gonna get yourself aligned with your old man You're gonna get it free You're gonna get it free, yeah 'Cause it's the way-ay-ay now Way-ay-ay to see But it's inside and out with no doubt It's in everything, it's in everything Oh, we up, up, up for the glow show Yeah, we down, down here on the ground Yeah, we up, up, up, up above love Yeah, we up, up, up through the clouds Yeah, we up, yeah, we up You're gonna find your way-ay Find your way-ay to be Hey, you're gonna get yourself aligned with your spine And you'll get it free You'll get it free It's the way-ay-ay now Way-ay-ay to see Well, in the moment, it comes and it goes Yeah, it's in everything It's in everything We up, up, up for the glow show Yeah, we down, down here on the ground Yeah, we up, up, up, up above love Yeah, we up, up, up through the clouds Yeah, we up, yeah, we up Yeah, we up, yeah, we up Whoo! Whoo! Yeah, we up, yeah, we up Yeah, we up, yeah, we up Whoo! Thank you.
This was a really great Senior Ditch Day.
You were right.
I just wanted you to meet a cool group of people having a great time in the same situation as you.
Yeah, but I'm not This is only temporary.
The doctor said it's a matter of time before Look, I've been where you are.
I know how it feels, but you can't keep denying I'm not denying anything.
You're not me.
Okay? I'm not like you.
This isn't my life.
I'm going to Yale, I'm getting out of Lima, and I'm going to walk again.
And what if you don't? When are you going to stop pretending that this isn't really happening to you? + No, no.
Maybe you should request a lower locker.
Could be easier.
No.
This has always been my locker and will continue to be until I walk across that stage in my cap and gown and get my diploma.
I gotta get to class.
Can I walk with you? I've been praying for you.
Well, guess it could help for God to hear from a few people.
I've been praying to walk again, as well.
Oh, I don't pray for you to walk.
I ask God to help you accept whatever your journey may be.
I appreciate your prayers-- I do-- but when you're done praying, you get to get up off your knees and walk away.
Sorry.
Self-obsessed bitch.
It's cool.
You know what you're really inspiring.
And I feel like you've been inspiring to a few other people I know.
What are you doing after school today? All right, fair warning: in the glorious history of Booty Camp, this will be the toughest! But first, Quinn's got the floor.
I invited a friend to join us.
You met him on Valentine's Day.
Teen Jesus! QUINN: He's got a killer voice.
Whoo! Okay, all right.
Welcome to the New Directions.
Hey, dude, you have a twig in your hair.
No, seriously.
WILL: Okay.
Thanks, bro.
Let's give our undivided attention to Coach Sue.
First off, please don't ask me which celebrity is the father of my baby.
Please.
I will release that information once I've finalized my book and movie deal.
Now, it has come to my attention that I have been a tad harsh with some of you.
I thought I was being kind.
For instance, I said absolutely nothing about the implausible sexual tension between Mercedes and the Kentucky Fried Stripper.
Or the sorry fact that you wasted untold millions on a laser show for yourselves just so Sandbags could dance with the night school's Polynesian janitor.
Actually, he was Puerto Rican.
Kids, it's in my DNA to be intense, okay, just like it's in Porcelain's DNA to poop rainbow glitter.
Now, I'll admit I-I behaved badly.
I also realized something.
I am here for two very important reasons.
Number one: Mr.
Schuester needs at least one adult friend.
And number two: I am hoping that the miraculous life growing inside of me can soak up some of your constantly annoying, though admittedly laudable, optimism and decency.
Now, I promise to be nicer if you promise to work your talented little butts off until they hand you that first-place trophy in Chicago.
All right, sloppy babies, let's take it from the top.
Five, six, seven, eight! Hello.
I'm Margaret Thatcher Dog.
My relationship with the Queen was ruff! Oh, look what Finn won you playing skeeball.
Finn won this? Yeah.
Well, Rachel kept making him win stuffed animals for her, and at the end of the day, out of the 14 she had, I confiscated this little guy to give to you.
Since there was no convincing you coming with us.
I would've just brought you guys down.
Look, I get it: family stuff is hard, especially between brothers.
I mean, Finn and I are not even real brothers, and we pretty much disagree on everything, but I love the big lug.
And at the end of the day, we're in each other's corners.
You only get one brother, Blaine.
Don't give up on that.
He's the one that's leaving.
Huge audition, you didn't hear about it? Actually, he hasn't left yet.
He's in the auditorium, hoping that you'll come and talk to him.
I've tried talking to him.
Doesn't doesn't really work with him.
Maybe talking is not the answer.
Maybe you need to show him how you really feel in the best, most honest way you know how.
(Gotye's "Somebody That I Used To Know" intro playing) Now and then I think of when we were together Like when you said you felt so happy, you could die So when we found that we could not make sense Well, you said that we would still be friends But I'll admit that I was glad it was over But you didn't have to cut me off Make out like it never happened And that we were nothing And I don't even need your love But you treat me like a stranger And that feels so rough No, you didn't have to stoop so low Have your friends collect your records And then change your number Guess that I don't need that though Now you're just somebody that I used to know Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over But had me believing it was always something that I'd done But I don't wanna live that way Reading into every word you say You said that you could let it go And I wouldn't catch you hung up On somebody that you used to know But you didn't have to cut me off Make out like it never happened Oh And that we were nothing And I don't even need your love But you treat me like a stranger And that feels so rough Oh No, you didn't have to stoop so low Have your friends collect your records Oh And then change your number Guess that I don't need that though Now you're just somebody that I used to know Somebody That I used to know Somebody Now you're just somebody that I used to know Somebody That I used to know Somebody Now you're just somedy that I used to know Ooh I used to know Somebody.
Best you've ever sounded.
I am tough on you.
This week, maybe, a little tougher than I should've been, and I need to apologize for that.
But it's only because I see-- I've always seen-- how insanely talented you are.
I want you to be as successful as you can be, Blaine, and you will be.
You're gonna do it all-- movies, concerts Broadway.
Even though it's dead? You'll resurrect it.
And when I'm in the audience, watching you, I want to be able to say, "That's my kid brother up there.
I helped him get there.
" Thanks for saying that, Coop.
And I know you really mean it, too, because you weren't pointing your finger at me or Okay, okay.
speaking really loudly to be intense.
I'm really glad we could sing together one last time before you left to be Mr.
Hollywood.
Actually, my audition got canceled.
What? I don't know.
Apparently, Michael Bay just decided to go in a different direction, which is industry-speak for "Thanks, but we found somebody who's better and/or hotter.
" Okay, first of all, y-you don't know that.
And second of all, screw Optimus Prime.
Even though we don't live in the same town, and we don't see each other all the time, we're not just brothers, right? We're friends, too? That's exactly what I've always wanted us to be, Coop.
Hold on a second.
I just, uh, I want to remember this emotion so I can use it in a scene someday.
You are ridiculous.
You never know, right? Hey, I want to, I want to help you.
I don't want you to give up on this audition.
Come on, I got an idea.
Where are we going? We are going to put you on tape so Michael Bay can see what real acting is.
Pointing.
Nice touch.
See, I believe that.
That's why it's lesson number one.
Hey.
So how do you think I did in Cooper's Master class? You made it seem like you discover dead bodies every day.
If that was a real part, you would've got it.
So the NYADA scout is gonna be hereoon.
I'm pretty sure I'm ready for it.
Have you ever thought about what I'm gonna do in New York? Well, one thing I know is for certain is, we'll figure it out together.
Well, that's really nice, but I I feel like I need to start thinking seriously about what's next for me.
You ever thought about California? I just, I feel like there's, there's so many more opportunities for me there.
And Puck, he's got this really great pool-cleaning business opportunity.
And you could audition for your actor jobs and you wouldn't even have to worry about money, because I'd be able to support you you know, as as your husband and Finn what are you doing? Well, I'm thinking about my future.
I thought it was our future.
Of course.
Of course, it is our future, And but it feels like the conversation's been a little one-sided lately.
Look, even Blaine's brother said you know, Hollywood is where you want to go No, I'm not if you want to be famous I'm not as an actress.
a Hollywood actress, okay? In New York, New York is about the work that you do and not the work that you've had done.
There's no other option here for me, okay? I am Broadway bound.
Right, but if I'm going to be your husband, shouldn't I have something to say about it, too? "If"? Just seems like you don't care about my dreams.
I care.
Of course I care.
Right, of course you care as long as they don't interfere with yours.
Look, I need to be in New York, and I need you with me.
I can't do this without you.
I just want you to be really sure.
I just want you to be really sure that you're in love with me and not who you want me to be.