Riverdale (2017) s03e15 Episode Script

1 [ARCHIE.]
Previously on Riverdale I propose a truce.
You don't make a move against me, and I won't make a move against you.
You can't fight your destiny.
No! Don't! The Warden also called Archie a Red Paladin.
[ARCHIE.]
They marked you for sacrifice.
[RICKY.]
I gave it to myself.
[ARCHIE.]
I let my guard down for a second.
Maybe it's time you make this thing come to a head.
You've got to take drastic action, boy.
Words aren't gonna do it.
I agree.
Something that's going to give us purpose.
Mobilizing that gang to search for Archie's lost boy gave me the idea.
We've come up with a plan to deputize the Serpents.
We're in escrow.
I sold the house.
[BETTY.]
To who? - [ALICE.]
Some anonymous buyer.
- [SMOKE ALARM BEEPING.]
[ALICE GASPING.]
Oh, my God! And we'll figure out a payment plan for the rest.
- Understood.
- In exchange, you're going to lend me those sweet wheels.
- Not Bella.
- [GLADYS.]
Oh, wait, one more thing.
Don't tell Jughead about our business.
[JELLYBEAN.]
Everything's going just how you said, Mom.
Got Dad wrapped around my pinky.
We moved to the right place at the right time.
I could feel it.
[JUGHEAD.]
What exactly is the American dream? For my dad, on the eve of his 50th birthday, the American dream was this.
A father, a mother, a son, a daughter, a loyal hound, food on the table.
The only thing missing was Eat up.
Because when we're done, we're taking a little ride.
Where to, Mom? Well, that's a surprise, JB.
But I think you're going to like it.
You, too, old man.
[CHUCKLING.]
Who you calling old? Aw.
Come here.
You're all cockeyed.
[GLADYS LAUGHS.]
[CAR DOORS CLOSING.]
[GLADYS LAUGHS.]
[JUGHEAD.]
What are we doing here? Well, it's an early birthday gift for your dad.
I mean, for all of us.
Just closed on it a few days ago.
- Gladys, uh - Mom What? [DOOR OPENS.]
What the hell is Alice Cooper doing in my house? - FP? - Jug? Mrs.
Jones.
Are you the anonymous buyer? [FP.]
What the hell happened here? [ALICE.]
Oh, uh We had a minor mishap with a candle.
Nothing that a fresh coat of paint or a new set of curtains won't fix.
I am so confused.
You sold our house to the Joneses? [BOTH.]
Not to me.
I bought it.
I made an all-cash offer online.
Mom, we can't move in here.
Why the hell not? Well, because it's Betty's house.
There's definitely been some sort of misunderstanding.
I think we should all just walk away from this.
That won't be necessary.
- At least not as far as I'm concerned.
- Mom.
No, this house is my past, and I just want to be done with it.
[JUGHEAD.]
We're obviously not going to move in.
How much you wanna bet? My mom wants to sell it, your mom wants to buy it.
It's done.
Well, if that is the case, one good thing is that you could just stay in your room.
Live with us.
I don't know, Jug, living with your family when I don't even know your mom that well What were you gonna do? Crash at Vee's, which I think I should still do until I figure things out.
Is that okay? Yeah, of course.
You still up for breakfast with a marked man? Yeah.
[JUGHEAD.]
Here's the deal, Archie.
I checked with my dad, I pulled all the files on Warden Norton after he committed suicide, and I cleared out his office, and I found this.
Quest Card.
[SCOFFS.]
"Kill the Red Paladin.
" Like the one Ricky had.
These two cards are identical.
That's the same design, same card stock.
To me, that indicates that someone printed out multiple "Kill the Red Paladin" cards, put them out into the world.
We need to find out who.
I know where to start.
[CHERYL.]
So, what do you think? Perfect for Quebec.
N'est-ce pas? I don't understand.
Who's going to Quebec? I thought, since you've been working so hard with the Pretty Poisons, it might be good for the two of us to get away together.
So, I booked us a spring break ski trip to Mont Blanc! Me and the Pretty Poisons were planning on doing a road trip to Sugar Lake.
Fine.
We don't have to go to the mountains.
We don't have to go anywhere, ever.
I'm not saying that.
Cheryl.
- I - [CELL PHONE CHIMES.]
Shoot.
Sorry, I'm running late for work.
Can we talk about this later? Archie.
Long time.
How have you been? I was doing pretty good, Mr.
Lodge, until a homeless kid stabbed me in my house.
Did this person break in? No.
But he did have one of these.
You recognize it? I, um You started that quest, "Kill the Red Paladin," with Warden Norton.
And Tall Boy, when he was working for you, referred to me as the Red Paladin.
Even if he did, Archie, it's all in the past.
We have a truce, you and I.
Mr.
Lodge, did you give a Quest Card to Warden Norton? - Yes.
- Did you give out any others? I I printed out an even dozen of these Quest cards.
I gave three to Norton and nine to Tall Boy to distribute amongst the more fanatical players.
Well, truce or no truce, the clock you wound up is still running, Mr.
Lodge.
There's other players out there biding their time, waiting to kill me that I now need to track down.
Right.
I might be able to help you with that.
While I briefly distributed Fizzle Rocks, my soldiers like Tall Boy would make drop-offs and pickups to various hot spots around town.
- "Hot spots"? - Yes.
Where like-minded individuals would gather to do Fizzle Rocks and play Gryphons and Gargoyles.
Here's the list of the locations.
The players you're looking for might be there.
Hey, red hot, what's in the basket? Freshly baked cherry scones for my T.
T.
A gesture of goodwill after a disagreement we had.
Do you know where she's stationed tonight? You'll see her downstairs.
Call your girlfriend It's time you had the talk Give you reasons Say it's not her fault But you just met somebody new Don't you tell her how I give you something That you never even knew you missed I swear I didn't know Gladys was even looking at real estate.
[SIGHS.]
Listen, FP, I want you to know that house means nothing to me.
Wish I could say the same about you and Gladys.
Alice, uh She and I, we're We're still married.
Yeah.
Gladys left you and Jughead, don't forget that.
That was my fault.
All right? I was a no-good husband, a A rotten father.
Do you love her, FP? She's the mother of my children.
And me? Do you love me? Doesn't matter now.
It's over.
I'm sorry.
[REGGIE.]
Ronnie, can we talk business? Always.
What's up? I've invested a lot of time here.
Being a bartender, a bouncer, a deliveryman.
Pit boss, you name it.
I've also made sacrifices, like giving my car to Gladys.
So, I've been thinking, I want to be your business partner.
Reggie, you have been nothing but helpful and dedicated, but I still owe a hefty debt to my father and Gladys.
It just wouldn't be wise for me to begin another partnership right now.
Veronica, I know what I'm worth.
You should know it, too.
Believe me, I do.
But to quote my abuelita, no one walks on water in my place except me.
[JUGHEAD.]
Mom, can I ask you about buying the Cooper house? Sure, what about it? [JUGHEAD SIGHS.]
Well, it seems awfully convenient, doesn't it, that particular house? It also seems pretty permanent.
Yeah, I've been looking at real estate in Riverdale for a while now.
Where'd you get that kind of money? I sold the chop shop in Toledo.
Is there a problem, Jug? No [SIGHS.]
It's just, since you've been back, you've made what some people would call some shady moves.
Buying the Cooper house, foisting the Gargoyles on me.
I'm sorry, why are you so suspicious of me all of a sudden? Well, because we haven't had a single conversation since you've been back.
Heck, I don't know what your plan is.
What you're doing here.
It did me good to see you and your dad in Toledo.
It reminded me of what I'd be missing.
The entire family together.
As for what I'm gonna do here, I am going to get Jellybean in school, find myself a job, maybe at a garage.
How does that all sound to you? It sounds good.
Is it true? [LAUGHS.]
Oh, Jughead.
Look, your dad has got a sweet gig now.
You've got a house with rooms for everyone.
I'm looking at this whole thing like a do-over, a chance to be a real family.
That's all I want.
Oh, no, that's not true.
There is one more thing.
It's, uh, your dad's 50th, and I've decided to throw him a little soiree at the speakeasy, and I would really like it if you gave the birthday speech.
You're the writer in the family.
What do you say? - Yeah.
- [GLADYS LAUGHS.]
Okay, I'll do it.
Today, the Serpents start a new chapter.
You're no longer outlaws, you're lawkeepers, which is why I've got Tom Keller here to help.
He is the best damn sheriff Riverdale's ever had.
[SHERIFF KELLER.]
Well, thanks, FP, that's quite an introduction.
Um, a lot of what we'll be doing over the next couple of months will be like basic training.
Each junior deputy will be paired with an officer who will then mentor them.
Jughead, boy, you're riding with me.
Did you ever think in a million years that at 50 you'd be sitting in the driver's seat of a sheriff's cruiser? No, I never even imagined I'd make it to 50.
Figured that was my expiration date.
What did you think was gonna happen? Getting myself killed or drinking myself to death, like my old man.
In a way I'm, uh I'm just happy to be here.
Happy to be alive.
What are you most proud of? You and your sister, I'm uh I'm proud of you both.
So, we're really doing this? Moving to the Northside, into the Cooper house? It's like a Norman Rockwell painting with leather jackets.
You know, you and Jellybean deserve it.
And for the first time ever, I'm in a place where I can provide for my kids.
I can put a real roof over your head, food in your mouths.
Damn.
It only took me 50 years to get here.
[DISPATCHER ON RADIO.]
We've got a 10-23 at the Chock'lit Shoppe.
Out.
10-4.
On my way.
- What the hell is a 10-23? - [SIREN BLARING.]
[TIRES SCREECHING.]
- [STORE BELLS JINGLING.]
- [FP.]
Hey, Pop.
What's going on? Some Fizzle Rocks junkie spazzed out and threw hot coffee all over Delores, then ran out of here.
I thought Fizzle Rocks were gone, this whole candy epidemic was over? [FP.]
Yeah, but I've heard rumblings and rumors that someone's looking to reopen the candy store.
I wonder who.
That's a good question.
[DOOR OPENS.]
Nana Rose, you haven't seen Toni, have you? Not since she gave me an envelope of money.
Come again? Money for what? I believe she called it rent.
Fascinating.
[VERONICA.]
I've been thinking about our conversation.
What's this? It's what I consider to be a good, fair starting salary for you.
So, I'm just a hired hand to you, Ronnie? You think I'm here busting my ass to make minimum wage? That's more than minimum wage, Reggie.
Enough to buy a clean conscience? You know what? Why don't you take the rest of the night off, clear your head, and recalibrate your attitude.
Yeah.
That's a good call.
- [JUGHEAD.]
And you believe Hiram? - [ARCHIE.]
I do.
He says he gave out 12 Quest Cards.
Well, he's nothing if not thorough.
Okay, so that means there could be as many as ten cards still in play, and that means we need to figure out how to track them and whoever's holding them down.
Yeah, Mr.
Lodge gave me a list of the places his dealers used to go to, where G&G players congregate.
Suds Laundromat, Innuendo These places are all nearby.
I say we check them out, starting with the comic book shop.
See if we can tap into Riverdale's gaming network.
And so continues our nerdiest mystery yet.
[GAME MASTER.]
Princess Fate, it's your roll.
But you're down five hit points and the hellhounds are gaining on You're not allowed back here.
This is a sacred space.
Sheath your sword, Game Master.
Just here to ask some questions.
Sorry to interrupt your game, but, uh, we're here because of this.
Do you recognize it? Yes.
And we know who you are.
That quest is in play here.
Yeah, well, take your shot, then.
Who gave it to you? The King.
The Gargoyle King came here? To the back room of a comic book store? One of his disciples delivered the Quest Card for him.
He wore a mask.
Didn't say much.
What, was he delivering Fizzle Rocks? Who has the card now, one of you? No one in this room.
[JUGHEAD.]
Well, whoever does have the card, why haven't they made a play against the Red Paladin yet? The Red Paladin is an advanced quest.
It takes time to adequately prepare for it.
But they'll act on it.
And sooner or later, they'll come for you, Red Paladin.
How are things with you and Jughead now that his mom's back? Good.
He told me I could stay in the house with them in my old room, which feels just weird to me.
But, I mean, I guess I'd get to know his mom and sister better.
Why do you ask? Betty, there's something I need to tell you about Mrs.
Jones.
What? She swore me to secrecy, but I can't have you getting caught up in this, not even by association.
Caught up in what, Vee? I have insider information that Gladys Jones is taking over the drug trade in Riverdale.
What, like Fizzle Rocks? I thought all that stuff was gone now? It was.
But like Gloria Swanson, it's getting ready for a comeback, with Gladys leading the charge instead of my father.
Vee, you need to tell me everything.
And then I have to tell Jughead.
It's a weird feeling, knowing that there are all these people, strangers out there who want to kill me.
It's the game.
It makes people crazy.
You know, as a matter of fact, those hardcore gamers are so obsessive, any message they receive from the Gargoyle King they take as gospel.
Maybe we can harness that.
Like when I became the Gryphon Queen.
Right.
Now, we know that the only way to complete Hiram's quest is to kill the Red Paladin.
But who says the Gargoyle King can't add to his own quest, offer a different outcome? Do you guys remember when we were in elementary school, and it was snowing, and we played that game, uh, king of the mountain? - Yeah, kind of.
- Not really, no.
Well, you won every time, Archie, so we can play to your strengths.
I'll write an addendum to the quest that says the Red Paladin will defend his mountaintop for 12 hours, dusk till dawn.
Anyone that has this "Kill the Red Paladin" card can try and take you down, but if they don't by the time the challenge ends, your mark of sacrifice is lifted.
- Let's do it.
- Okay, well, if we're gonna do that, no weapons, hand-to-hand combat only, only one challenger at a time.
Perfect.
But we're still gonna need a space.
A mountaintop that's going to increase your chances of winning.
I think I know someone who can help provide that.
Get writing, I'll call you.
We'll watch over him.
I know it's risky, but it's better to see them coming.
Right? Right.
It's better to see it coming.
[SIGHS.]
I heard from someone, a source, that Fizzle Rocks may be coming back into Riverdale.
Yeah, my money's on it being Hiram again.
Actually, my source says your mom is stepping in.
Jug.
- Well, who's your source? - I can't reveal that.
But I would not tell you this if I didn't believe them.
They're trustworthy.
Okay.
I'll look into it.
What? Let me help you.
No.
Thank you for telling me, Betty, but you have to let me do this on my own.
Plus, we have Archie's quest to finish.
I'll let you know if I find anything.
[ARCHIE.]
I have a request.
I need somewhere to host and end my Red Paladin challenge.
Your what now? I'm calling in everyone who has one of your Quest Cards, and since you're the one who got me into this mess in the first place, I figured you could help me find an appropriate spot.
As a matter of fact, I recently acquired a city block near Sweetwater Docks, where there are various shuttered businesses including a hole-in-the-wall boxing gym.
Right now, it's just sitting there.
You're welcome to use it.
Thank you, Mr.
Lodge.
[ROLLING SHUTTER DOOR OPENS.]
[CELL PHONE VIBRATING.]
Arch, any luck? I found a place for the mountaintop, Jug, an old boxing gym by the docks.
Okay, I'll add it to the new, improved quest and have the guys distribute it the same way Hiram did.
- Awesome.
I'll see you at dusk? - See you at dusk.
[TYPEWRITER DINGS.]
Sweet Pea, Fangs, you're going to the old comic shop.
Old Deuteronomy and Weasel, you're going to hit Innuendo, and Termite and Jinx, you're going to cover All About the Glaze.
And we need to canvass all of Hiram's hot spots if we're going to get the word out fast.
- What about these masks? - Wear 'em.
Remember, the goal is to try and convince them that this quest came directly from the Gargoyle King.
We're on it.
And there's one more thing.
It's kind of personal.
These aren't just gaming hot spots.
They were hubs for Hiram's Fizzle Rock trade.
I've heard a rumor that a new player is moving in to restart it.
I want you guys to suss any information that you can discreetly.
And if you find anything, I want you to come to me and only me.
Okay? - Let's go.
- Yeah.
Reggie, what the hell is going on? Your bozo boy-toy here thought it wise to try to steal his car back before we settled our account.
- Not smart.
- Mrs.
Jones, perhaps I can make it up to you in some way.
Now, how are you going to do that? Your husbands 50th at La Bonne Nuit.
Let me cover the expenses for that.
Done, but keep your arm candy off my damn property.
[POURING DRINK.]
[SIGHS.]
How could you have done something so reckless? You know we're this close to paying off our debt to her and my father.
- I'm sorry.
- You're sorry? Reggie, this is how wars start.
Damn it, Veronica, I gave you everything.
I wanted to get my damn car back, at least.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
[POP MUSIC PLAYING.]
Cheryl.
What are you doing here? - I'm working.
- I'm not here for you, babe.
I was in the mood to gamble.
So no ulterior motives, then? Only to win, of course.
Now, be a doll, and fetch me a Bellini, why don't you? [DICE CLATTER.]
Maybe we didn't allow enough time for word to get around? Maybe they didn't believe that it was actually coming from the [MAN.]
I'm here for the Red Paladin.
Arch.
Well, I guess the word got around.
[JUGHEAD.]
Challengers, welcome to the Iron Mountain.
Approach this hallowed battleground, submit your "Kill the Red Paladin" card, bring the Paladin to his knees in three minutes, and your quest is won.
However, should you run out of time, should you fall to the Paladin's hand, then your quest is over.
Is that understood? [OPPONENTS MURMURING.]
Then let's go! [CROWD SHOUTING.]
[BELL DINGS.]
[GROANS.]
- Who's next? - [BELL DINGS.]
[BOTH GRUNTING.]
[SCREAMS.]
[OPPONENT GROANS.]
[JUGHEAD.]
Next! [BELL DINGS.]
[OPPONENT GROANS.]
You're doing great, Arch.
How many of these guys am I fighting? Well, what do we have here? Lying in wait for me? - Color me shocked.
- Oh, please.
Earlier tonight, you were casing the place, and you wanted me to know it.
So, what are you going to do now? Cuff me? [BELL DINGING.]
Get off of him! Okay, uh, there's only 11 cards here.
What, that's all? Who else wants to try? - Who is that? - Captain Golightly.
My old guard at L&L.
Norton's lap dog.
My price for admission.
Hey, look at me.
Are you sure you're up for this? It's okay.
I want the sacrifice mark off me.
Enter the Kraken! [CROWD CHEERING.]
Begin! [BELL DINGS.]
[BOTH GRUNTING.]
This one's for the warden.
[GROANS.]
And this one's for me.
[BOTH MOANING SOFTLY.]
[CROWD CHEERS.]
- Yes! - Whoo! That was for me.
Sacrifice no more.
[ALL LAUGHING.]
That was hot and nice.
Agreed.
Um But I think we need to talk about what's going on between us.
What is that exactly? I think you have a problem with the Poisons because for once I'm in charge of something and you're not.
False.
I'm upset because you seem to want to spend all your time with them instead of me.
Cheryl, I love you.
And yet I can't spend all my time cooped up in that house in your bedroom.
- Our bedroom.
- That's exactly it.
It doesn't feel like our bedroom.
It's entirely yours.
Your space.
It sounds, Toni, like you regret moving in with me.
Well, maybe it was too soon.
Too fast.
[SIGHS.]
In that case, maybe you moving out is exactly what needs to happen.
[ARCHIE.]
Thank you for loaning me the gym.
Was it a successful night? - Time will tell.
- Hmm.
But, yes, the quest you set in motion is finished.
Very good, Archie.
No, I want you to keep those.
And the gym.
I appreciate you helping me out this week, Mr.
Lodge, but I don't want to be in your debt.
It's not a debt, Archie, it's compensation.
It's a way for me to make amends, since I was responsible for launching the Red Paladin quest in the first place.
Take the keys.
Gym's yours.
No strings attached.
Thank you, Mr.
Lodge.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
Hey, can I help? You can start by telling me what's gotten into you.
Are you seriously self-destructing because I won't make you my partner? Partly.
I've got an issue with how I'm being treated by you.
Really? I want to be more than just your errand boy.
Or pit boss.
Or casual hookup.
I want to matter, Ronnie.
- You do matter.
- [SCOFFS.]
And, lest we forget, I just went through a wrenching breakup just a few months ago.
So, yeah, I'm taking things slow.
Answer me honestly, would we even be dating if not for the speakeasy? Probably not.
But I'm glad we are.
Aren't you? I've given up so much for you.
I feel like you owe me, and I'm not getting an ounce in return.
In that case [KEYS JANGLING.]
I bought your car back from Gladys.
Now we don't owe each other anything.
I heard you guys had a hell of a night.
It was mainly Archie.
What about you guys? You find anything? Yeah, it's bad news, Jughead.
Hey, just in time.
I'm making your dad's favorite, - fried chicken.
- We need to talk.
I've been hearing rumors that you didn't move to town to get the family back together, but instead to take the drug trade from Hiram Lodge? You know [SIGHS.]
I never was one for small town gossip.
Is it true? [TONGS CLICKING.]
Yeah, it's true.
Why? Why do you think? I did it for you.
I did it for your sister.
Hell, I even did it for your dad.
It's about time the Joneses got a taste of it, the American dream.
No! You don't get to put this on us.
This is criminal and selfish.
Since when is taking care of my family a selfish act? Do you even know where your dad and I come from? Hmm? No one ever handed us anything.
We had to hustle and scam just to make sure there was food on the table and that you and Jellybean had a place to sleep at night.
Am I proud of all the crap that we had to do? No.
No, and you don't even know the half of it.
But we did our best, and we survived, and now we're moving to Elm Street, which is all your father ever wanted.
Dad would not be okay knowing how you paid for that place.
Which is exactly why you're not going to say a word to him.
It would break him.
Again.
Maybe for the last time.
And I know you don't want to do that to him.
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING.]
Happy birthday, Mr.
Jones.
- Aw! - Thank you, Betty.
Not too long ago, you threw one of these for Jughead.
- You remember? - Ooh, how could I forget? - Happy birthday, Dad.
- Thanks.
[FP SIGHS.]
Hey, you kids don't go too far because the good stuff is about to happen.
Right? - Yeah.
- Sure.
FP Jones.
As I live and breathe.
- Happy birthday, brother.
- Thanks, Fred.
- It's a bit much, though, huh? - Uh, nah.
You don't get too many nights like this.
You gotta soak it up.
[CHUCKLES.]
Feel like I stumbled into this party and people are about to ask, "Who let you in?" Everybody takes their own path, FP.
And your path has brought you here.
We are gonna be neighbors and I'm happy about it.
Me too.
All right.
- Thanks for being here.
- Yeah.
[SIGHS.]
I got your message, Cheryl.
I'm so sorry to hear about Toni.
Oh, Kevin.
Are you familiar with the phrase, "Que sera, sera"? Sure.
It means "whatever will be, will be.
" Yeah, it's also heavily featured in the iconic high school black comedy Heathers.
By the way, did you know there's a musical version of it? Cheryl, the Farm is co-sponsoring the musical this year, and it's going to be Godspell.
Not anymore.
I need to focus my rage, therefore this year's musical is Heathers.
You're directing, I'm playing HBIC Heather Chandler.
Any questions? I thought not.
Okay, bye.
[PEOPLE APPLAUDING.]
Thank you, everyone, for coming out to celebrate one of Riverdale's finest.
- The finest, if you ask me.
- [WHOOPING.]
My husband, FP Jones.
- [APPLAUSE.]
- [CHUCKLES.]
Once, he was a king, a great king.
Maybe the best ever.
But I think the greatest role that he's ever held is that of father.
So, why don't we ask Jughead to come on up here and say a few words.
What do you say, guys? Do you have any idea what you're going to say? - [ALL CHANTING.]
Jug! Jug! Jug! - I have no clue.
[GLADYS.]
Jug! Jug! Jug! [PEOPLE WHOOPING.]
Uh Thanks, I Wrote It's no secret that the Jones men don't really like birthday parties.
[SIGHS.]
We're a rather broody bunch.
[ALL LAUGH.]
You know, I remember when you made me promise not to stop writing.
Not for anything.
And I haven't.
I've written every day.
But I could punch keys every night in a booth at Pop's and never come up with a story nearly as remarkable as yours.
You've gone from the wrong the side of the tracks to the right side of the law.
From Serpent king to sheriff of Riverdale.
From a man that most people in this town had probably written off to someone that righted his wrongs and brought our family back together.
That's who you are to me, someone that would do anything for his family.
There's something you need to know about this family.
We'll always be there for you.
Me And Jellybean and Mom.
I'm proud to be your son.
I'm proud to share your name.
And I am proud to be part of your amazing story.
Here's to 50, Dad.
And to 50 more.
[ALL CHEERING.]
That was a beautiful speech, Jug.
Thanks.
Most of it was true.
[SIGHS.]
What are you gonna do now? Save Jellybean, protect my dad, and run my mom out of town.
Do you want to help?