Saving Grace s03e15 Episode Script
So Help You God
Prosecution calls defendant Grace Hanadarko as its first witness.
Detective Hanadarko, step forward and prepare to defend yourself against the charges brought here today.
Please raise your right hand.
Put your left hand on the Bible.
Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God? Almost impossible to put it down once you get past the first hundred pages, don't you think? - Get it off me! - You sure? Revelations is a real page-turner.
- What are you doin' here? - It's your party.
You tell me.
- She said I was the defendant.
- What are you defending? - I don't know.
- What are the charges? I don't know.
I don't know.
- Sounds to me like you're on trial.
- What have I done? Is the prosecution ready to begin its opening statement? - Yes, Your Honor.
- The defense? Absolutely.
#So pretty and, oh, so bold # # Got a heart full of gold on a Ionely road # - # She said, "I don't even think that God can save me"# - # Save me # # Am I gaining ground Am I losing face # # Have I lost and found my saving grace # # Thankful for the gift my angels gave me ## A pattern of behavior that's what the prosecution will prove.
A pattern leading the defendant to question her present state of mind which includes a tendency towards violence.
A lifestyle considered, at best, provocative Ow! and, at worst, promiscuous when fueled by the demon alcohol.
Mmm.
Oh! - What are we doing? - Taking the stairs.
You're a real piece of shit.
Shit! All patterns which may well have cost the life of one human being already.
Counsel.
Counsel! - Your opening, please.
- Oh.
Uh, passionate.
Feisty.
Alive.
White hot.
Miracle of nature.
Shit, man.
- Better? - Where are we? Athens.
Olympic wrestlin'.
Athens? Like a crapload of years ago? - # People all over the world # - # Everybody # - # Join hands # - # Join # - # Start a love train # - # Love train # Only met Carl three months ago.
# People all over the world now join hands # - # Love ride # - # Start a love train # # Love train # # The next stop that we make # # Will be England # # Tell all the folks in Russia # # And China too # # Don't you know that it's time to get on board # Oh! God's id, libido and ego wrapped in one mighty package.
Bullshit.
Both times, they popped up when we were outside.
For all I know, some kid with a remote control was sittin' across the street with You're not ever gonna understand all this, Grace.
Ain't like God's some crime you can solve.
But why me? Well, I know sometimes God goes alphabetically.
She's a loyal, strong-willed "always be there for you" friend.
As well as a loving aunt whose passion for life is infectious.
And whose heart slowly carves initials into the souls of her closest friends.
Rhetta, what happened? Ronnie's decided to sell the farm.
He asked me to sign the listing papers.
Don't.
Don't do anything.
- We'll look over all the options, pull out some equity.
- There's none left.
- We'll get a line of credit.
- It's frozen.
We'll have somebody else go over the books.
Hell, Rhetta, if we have to rob a bank, I mean It's okay, Grace.
Oh.
Easy, Bug.
It's not that bad.
Somebody shoots at you in broad daylight, nobody sees anything? What kind of shit is that? How can that be? - Grace.
- You could've been killed, Leo.
- Do you understand that? - Hey, hey, hey, hey.
It's okay.
It's okay.
He's okay.
So's Johnny.
They're okay.
You gotta chill, Grace.
I love you, Bobby.
So scream.
Come here.
How'd I do? "Whose heart slowly carves initials into the souls of her friends"? "Closest friends.
" Prosecution calls Detective Ham Dewey to the stand, please.
Harder.
Much harder.
Ow! Shit, Grace, what are you doin'? Stickin' a fork in you.
We're done.
When you first began relations with Detective Hanadarko you were still happily married, correct? I was married.
And how would you describe Detective Hanadarko's reaction to knowing that, in the eyes of God, that you had committed your soul to another woman? I'm pretty sure God's eyes didn't enter into it much.
Oh, Grace! - I can't do this anymore.
- Damn it, Ham.
If it's the last time, can't we at least finish? Oh, shit, Grace.
#I got a big, fast car# - We have to stop.
- How long till we can move again? - Five minutes.
- Shit, Grace, I'm dying here.
Ham.
- Let's just go Western.
- Giddyap.
Your wife's name is Darlene, right? - Yeah.
We've been divorced for a while.
- Divorced? I see.
Would you say that your marriage to Darlene failed because of Detective Hanadarko? No, not at all.
My marriage failed because I failed.
I mean, the choices I made.
It was no one else's responsibility but mine.
And presently, how would you describe your relationship with Detective Hanadarko? I'm here on behalf of the Raccoons Victims Association.
I've really missed hearing you laugh.
God! Uh, we are so screwed.
You know what? Google OKC home-invasion robberies.
Gotta be a blueprint for a copycat.
Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Oh, God! Oh, man! Get it off! Please! Oh! Oh! You are down.
Detective Dewey, these names mean anything to you? Jack St.
Clair, Danny Gallero, Spanky Maris.
Yeah.
How about this one? You remember Zack, don't you? You kidding me? Of course I remember Zack.
I hope that's my Passion Red.
I gotta get that.
Zack, give me the phone, man.
I'm a cop.
- It could be important.
- A cop? Shit! - Zack! - Sorry.
I don't do cops.
No! Zack! You shithead! Shit! Shit! Girl, we only got a little Ham, will you unlock the cuffs? - Where's Zack? - Please.
Ham.
Zack, what are you doing here? I have no idea, but you look great, Grace.
Yeah.
I have no further questions.
Sex, sex, sex.
Seems that's all the prosecutor has on her mind.
Ham, what about you and Grace? Is that all your relationship was based on? No, sir.
Our relationship was based on It-It's still based on so much of I don't know.
I mean of everything.
I mean, we and Grace, man, we have a shitload of laughs together.
Would you say you're still in love with her? Yeah.
I'd say I always will be.
- I have no further questions.
- Detective Dewey, you may step down now.
We call Mrs.
Rhetta Rodriguez to the stand, please.
Mrs.
Rodriguez It is still Mrs.
Rodriguez, isn't it? Yes.
The reason I ask is I understand that you and your husband, Ronnie are going through some relationship issues of your own.
- Is that correct? - I refuse to answer on the grounds that I may incriminate myself.
Well, then let me answer for you.
Tell me what's going on, Grace.
Are you okay? - Just tell me.
- I saw Ronnie kissing another woman.
What? What did you say? Ronnie, what are you doin'? Are you telling me you saw Ronnie kissing Stella? At a pancake house in Purcell this morning at 6:30.
You just destroyed the heart of the kindest person I've ever known.
- Ronnie had a job interview in Henryetta.
- He was in Purcell.
Oh, shit, Grace! Stop! - Did he see you? - Yeah.
He said it was their first kiss.
Was it? Didn't look like it to me.
It was just a kiss.
Now my question is do you believe that Grace's behavior influenced your husband's? I refuse to answer on the grounds that I think you're a real jerk.
Mrs.
Rodriguez.
- Do you consider Grace Hanadarko a friend? - Yes.
- Would you call her a trusted and loyal friend? - What do you think? What college did you say you graduated from? Mrs.
Rodriguez, do you think Grace Hanadarko has a compassionate soul? Absolutely.
I think you're right.
It's just misdirected at objects instead of human beings.
Sweet Jesus! What'd you use a can opener? - We'll put it back together.
- You can't You can't just put her back together.
You don't understand, Rhetta.
She's never gonna ride the same.
- When do I get my car back? - Few more days.
Not good enough.
No.
No.
I need her by tomorrow.
Tomorrow, Rhetta.
I'm not kidding.
No more questions, but reserve time to cross.
Oh.
If I were you, Miss Prosecutor rather than reserving time to cross I'd reserve time to go to confession.
Objects rather than human beings? Your Honor, you oughta think about swearing the lawyers in before the witnesses.
That's not to say Grace's passion doesn't include one thing that's not human.
Gus, my leg's goin' to sleep.
Move! Gus! Shalom, Brother Gus-man.
You're very handsome in your yarmulke.
Let me see.
Oh, Sister Mary Gus-head.
Tomorrow, we'll G-O to your favorite place.
D-O-G P-A-R-K.
I promise.
We'll see your girlfriend Peaches.
Gus is lost.
He broke away from me when I was taking him on his walk this morning.
- That was four hours ago.
- We've been looking for him.
- Gus is missing.
- Go, Grace.
We got the case.
- You want us to go with you? - No.
Just take him home, goddamn it! - This some kind of punishment? - What? - For breaking up Ham's marriage.
- God doesn't work that way, Grace.
Why would God wanna hurt you? I want my Gussy! Where are you, Gussy? - A couple friends of yours here.
- Gus! It's you! Hey, it's you! My next question is for you, Miss Prosecutor.
How can you say words are important when you spend so much time twisting 'em up? When it comes to Grace Hanadarko I suggest you add one more word to your vocabulary "courageous.
" Shit! Cover me! Grace! - Come on, let's go.
- Step out of the truck now.
Come on.
Eleven years ago, a girl picked you up in a bar.
She took you home.
You had sex.
You took your knife and cut her across her shoulder.
As soon as I saw the word "evil" on the warehouse wall I knew there was a "D" somewhere because you did the same thing in my bedroom behind a door.
Your mommy call you an evil little boy tell you women are evil especially women who go to bars? All I had to do was buy you one drink.
Bourbon and Coke, right? She was a whore just like you.
Are you an Indian princess? Are you really a sheriff? Where's my daddy? Everything's gonna be okay.
I want my mommy and daddy.
Everything's gonna be okay.
Where's my mommy? Earlier, the prosecution suggested Grace's actions influenced your husband's adulterous behavior.
Have you seen even a scrap or a spit worth of truth in that meshuggaas? Not a scrap, a sliver or a slice.
Thank you.
Your Honor, I'd like to take my opportunity to cross.
Mrs.
Rodriguez, as it relates to states of mind yours and the defendant's how do you explain this? Oh, Holy Cow.
Mrs.
Rodriguez, will you please point to the cow you refer to as Holy Cow? It would be the only cow in the courtroom with the image of Jesus Christ on its hind leg.
And do you and Detective Hanadarko really believe that you see Jesus in a cow? - On the cow.
- What? Not in the cow.
That would be absurd.
Jesus is on the cow.
Uh Don't you see it? So here's the crown of thorns his two eyes, your beard, mustache It-It's the whole Jesus deal.
I saw a cow with markings on its side that looked just like the face of Jesus.
You're so full of shit.
Cr-Crown of thorns.
- The-The The whole deal.
- Are you drunk? Do you see it? Rhetta, just because a cow has markings that resemble the face of Jesus doesn't mean my sister's had a spiritual encounter.
I keep waiting for a camera crew to jump out - like I've been punk'd.
- You watch Punk'd? I think Jesus' beard is longer.
What do you think? Still don't see it.
Looks more like Jerry Garcia to me.
Why should my ass be the only one saved? And personally, I think the fact that you can't see it says more about your state of mind than mine.
No more questions.
Would Detective Butch Ada please come forward? You've known Detective Hanadarko for Approximately six years.
- And in that time, were you ever partners? - No, ma'am.
- You sure about that? - Of course.
I'm sorry.
I can see why you're confused.
I'm not referring to professional partners as much as personally romantically.
- Now go to bed.
- Wanna join me? I don't take advantage of intoxicated women.
I'm not intoxicated.
- Just I've had a few.
- Too many.
Come on, cowboy.
Leave the hat on.
- Bobby's waiting for me.
- Send him home.
We've been down this road before.
That was a good road trip.
- Tore my heart out, woman.
- Let me kiss it and make it better.
- Go to bed, Grace.
- See, this is why I broke up with you.
- You're no fun.
- I'm fun.
- And I broke up with you.
- Hah! Has the undisputed fact that you and Detective Hanadarko have, let's say, a history created any difficulties in working together? - No.
- Let me remind you you're under oath.
No need.
Between Grace and me it's been absolutely no problem.
You might wanna let this play out.
You might wanna get a mop.
- All right, boss! - Come on! Are you suggesting by saying, and I quote, "Between Grace and me" your history caused other problems? - Depends.
- On what, Detective? Whether you're the one pulling the practical joke, or whether it's being pulled on you.
I don't know, man.
Michelle was just freaking out.
- Says you never call her.
- Why don't you just call her back? - She's totally trippin'.
- Is that why she went in there crying? Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Hey, Butch.
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! - We got you, Longhorn! - Oh, we did! All of you, unbelievable.
- Ham.
- Yeah? Bet you a shot of mescal you scratch on the break.
- With or without the worm? - Without the worm's for pussies.
You're on, man.
Exploding cue ball! My idea! Whee! Three duckies and Mama's buying Ronnie that new combine he's lusting after.
Yeah, baby, one more.
- Oh! - Oh! - Oh! $10,000! - Oh, my God! $10,000! Oh, my God! 10,000! $10,000! $10,000! I gotta go call Ronnie! Oh, my God! - You didn't? - He did! I got it online for 10 bucks.
I put it in her pile.
The fine print on the back says "Redeemable through the tooth fairy.
" - This is a joke? - I didn't have anything to do with it.
- You're dead.
You're - What? Put me down! Ow! Dewey! Get your clothes off! It's hydrofluoric acid! Oh, Christ! We gotta hose you off! Get to the atrium now! You gotta apply calcium gluconate gel! It'll stop the burning! - I'm not burning.
- Give it a minute.
It was all fake! We just pulled off the best prank ever! Can you tell the court who Henry Silver is? Henry is our medical examiner.
Who due to the unfortunate illness of his mother, Marian, couldn't be with us here today.
I do, however, have his deposition.
I'm talking about Grace.
She has been so understanding so sympathetic.
Grace has reached out to me in a very special way on a deeply personal level.
- She slept with you.
- Yes.
Yes, she did.
Not that there was a lot of sleeping involved.
In fact, I was awake for days.
Now, Grace Hmm.
She slept.
Did you know she snores? Detective, Grace's behavior towards you and Henry Silver would you call that her pattern or her M.
O? Answer the question, Detective.
An M.
O.
is a pattern of behavior, yes.
But the only M.
O.
I recognize is another sleazy lawyer working another sleazy angle.
Your witness.
If it pleases Your Honor, rather than question Detective Ada I'd like to call a surprise witness.
He should just now be getting out of school.
- Knock, knock.
- Who's there? - Adelia.
- Adelia who? "Adelia" some cards, and we'll play poker.
So which one is she? She's really pretty, Clay.
Is she a cop? Whoo-hoo-hoo! Come on.
Tell her about the bad guy who stabbed you.
I think I'd rather tell you about the new pirate movie that's rated "Aarr!" - No! It stops now.
- What is it, Grace? - Are you okay, Aunt Grace? - I am fine.
- I don't want him involved in this.
- I wanna be involved.
- He just wants to help, Grace.
- No! - You can't stop me.
- Yes, I can.
You're a minor.
- He's my minor, and I want him to do this.
- Earl? - It's not up to me, Grace.
- It's up to God.
- It can't be.
There is no God.
- Why? - Yes, there is.
- No, there isn't.
- Yes, there is.
- No, there isn't.
Let him testify.
Clay, due to your age, I'll be the only one asking questions.
Okay.
The prosecutor stated that she's going to prove your aunt has a certain pattern of destructive behavior.
Do you see any patterns, good or bad? I don't know about that, but everything my Aunt Grace does, she kinda does her own way.
Could you be more specific? How about me? Okay.
Nice, tight grip.
Take a good aim.
Steady squeeze.
Who you shootin' at? McVeigh.
He's holding a baby.
- Where do I shoot? - You don't.
- What if I have to? - You still don't.
Too dangerous for the baby.
- He's gonna get away and hurt someone else.
- Okay.
Bridge of the nose.
It's your best chance of scrambling his brains before he gets a round off.
I am not letting you teach my kids how to shoot.
- Nice.
- Whoa.
Guess what.
Oh! Cool! There.
Aaah! - Aaah! - Aaah! Thank you, Aunt Grace.
This is so cool.
Clay, you're an Explorer with the O.
C.
P.
D.
Is that correct? Yes, ma'am.
What have you learned by watching your aunt? Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go! That was so cool! O.
C.
P.
D.
is the best! O.
C.
P.
D.
is the best! Watch us as we beat our chest! Watch us as we beat our chest! - O.
C.
P.
D.
! - O.
C.
P.
D.
! - O.
C.
P.
D.
! - O.
C.
P.
D.
! - Sound off! - One, two! - Sound off! - Three, four! Let 'er rip.
- These are for you.
- Clay, freeze.
Stop.
Stay exactly where you are.
Don't move, okay? I'm gonna put my hands over your hands.
Do not move your hands.
There may be a bomb in here.
So everybody else can leave.
You and me gonna stay.
Let the bomb squad get us out of this.
Okay? Get everybody out.
Let's go.
Everyone, calm and quiet.
Clay, you may be dealing with an action switch.
So if you let go, it may set the bomb off.
You're doing so great.
- Am I gonna die? We could die.
- No.
I got sideline passes to OU's first home game.
You and me are gonna be there.
Aunt Grace, I don't think I can hold this much longer.
How would you describe your aunt when she's not just being the fun Aunt Grace? My Aunt Grace loves me.
So mostly she treats me the way I deserve to be treated even if sometimes I wish she didn't.
Give me your right arm.
Act like a tough guy, you get treated like one.
I'm-I'm I'm sorry.
- Aunt Grace.
- My name is Detective Hanadarko.
And if you like watching yourself so much, great.
- Let's watch.
- Claire.
You want a piece of pie? - I'm under oath, right? - Yes.
'Cause I once told Mrs.
Rodriguez that my Aunt Grace was a liar.
And since I'm sure she tells my Aunt Grace everything I want Aunt Grace to know I didn't mean it.
I was wrong.
She told me the truth about my mom a long time ago.
I was just too young to remember.
Thanks for bringing me out here before everyone else showed up.
You wanted to talk about something? - I told Annabelle it was my mom's birthday today.
- What'd she say? She was all sad and everything.
Then I said I was 19 days old when it happened so I didn't even know what was going on.
Annabelle said you and Uncle Leo and Papaw were all here that day.
I asked my dad.
You did? He told me, so it's okay if we talk about it.
What'd he tell you? That Uncle Leo and Papaw put out the fire and you helped people get out of the building.
And that Grandma was babysitting me because my mom wanted to get me a Social Security card.
And she wanted to be the first in line.
Hey, man, it wasn't your fault.
She was supposed to come the day before.
Your dad tell you that? - She was? - Yeah.
I was gonna babysit you.
But I didn't feel good.
If my mom had come the day before she'd be okay.
That's right.
I think we have all we need.
Prosecution calls Grace Hanadarko to the stand, please.
- Do you sw - I certainly do.
Your Honor, I'd like to file a complaint regarding the unique relationship between the counsel and client.
Shit! Earl! I was wrong.
You are making progress.
- I'm proud of you.
- You shouldn't be.
God's got plans with your name written all over 'em.
Why would God have my name on anything but his shit list? Better hang on tight.
Your life's about to get a little bumpy.
I think maybe I shouldn't let this get to me.
Maybe you're not an angel.
Maybe you're just a nice big aneurysm in my brain getting ready to pop like a tick.
No big.
Understand? You do not scare me.
Fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, child! So don't talk to me like I'm one of your punk suspects! I won't take that! What do you want, Earl? The same as you, Grace.
Am I gonna lose her? I know she's your creation, as am I.
May I state my case? I need more time.
And I can't move fast with her.
If I move fast, we're gonna lose her anyway.
I got more faith in this one than I had in Joan and she took the flames to honor you.
Whatever you say, boss.
Promiscuous, violent and an exhibitionist.
Three patterns of behavior I set out to prove when - Uh - Yes? Promiscuous and violent I get that.
But exhibitionist? Detective, what can you tell me about Father Murphy? Oh.
Depends.
Uh, you're talkin' about Father Patrick "Satan" Murphy.
Well, uh, let's see.
He's dead was a pedophile.
Uh, and if God is really as good as people say Father Murphy's penis is in hell being used on other priests like him.
- Tell me where we're going.
- Just shut up.
Let me drive.
You'll know soon enough.
- What? - Father Patrick "Satan" Murphy is alive, Grace.
He's in Tulsa at a retirement home for priests called Holy Redeemer.
There was no death certificate issued.
I tracked him to Vermont.
They said he went to Boston.
Boston said he went to Pittsburgh then Rhode Island and Maine.
He retired three years ago in Tulsa.
- Let's go.
- No.
Rhetta, don't do this shit, man.
- Get in the car.
- No.
- Give me the keys.
- No.
The first time, he stood me in front of a mirror and told me how perfect I was.
How you doin', Father Murphy? I was God's special gift just for him.
- How old were you? - Nine.
He put his hand between my legs.
What, you hide it inside? Then he said God made me all tingly because - I'd know it was okay.
- Do I know you? I'm Grace Hanadarko.
- Get out of bed.
- Forgive me.
Open your mouth.
That's what you used to say to me.
My 11th birthday, he told me he had a present for me.
Then he raped me.
It went on about a year.
We need to pray, Grace.
Dear God, please help me kill Father Murphy.
Amen.
Jesus, Holy Mary, Mother of God.
Goddamn it! This is Father Patrick Murphy.
He raped me when I was in grade school.
He also sexually assaulted 27 other children in 10 states across the country.
- Any more questions? - Just one.
Where'd everybody go? You must have wanted them gone, or they'd still be here.
What was your question? It's not my question.
It's Ben Cooley's.
- You ran me over, bitch.
- I gotta go.
You know a guy named Earl? An angel named Earl? That's why you're in my damn dream.
We got the same last-chance angel.
- How do I get rid of him? - You can't.
- This is bullshit.
- State's gonna stick a needle in my arm in two years seven months and 16 days.
- I wanna be ready.
- Know why his ass was on death row? - He murdered a prison guard.
- He ain't too popular around here.
Every time you leave and enter this room, you will change clothes.
We check on you every 15 minutes.
At night, we'll wake you every hour on the hour.
Secure 4.
- What time is it? - Three minutes after 7:00.
I got less than 35 hours left.
On this earth.
Cooley, final visitor.
How about them Sooners? - You wanna sit down? - Okay.
You know my son.
Ben? He's a good kid.
He and my nephew are friends.
Shit, Hanadarko.
All these connections.
No contact.
No contact, Detective.
Time's up.
We need to get the prisoner ready, ma'am.
- You want me there, Leon? - Yes.
Okay, I'll be there.
- Bye, Hanadarko.
- Bye, Leon.
- What is that? - 1,200 prisoners kicking their doors.
Prisoner, present your legs for application of restraints.
- Let the execution proceed.
- No.
No.
- No! No! - Look at me.
- Look at me.
- No.
Detective.
It's good to see you, Detective.
Please.
Grace.
This is my girlfriend, Amy.
This is my Grammy and Grandpa Cooley.
- Nice to meet you.
- Ma'am.
This was delivered to Ben a week after his father's death.
Inside is a letter written by your nephew, Clay.
We didn't know if you'd want it.
I do.
Will you pray for him? English - US - SDH
Detective Hanadarko, step forward and prepare to defend yourself against the charges brought here today.
Please raise your right hand.
Put your left hand on the Bible.
Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God? Almost impossible to put it down once you get past the first hundred pages, don't you think? - Get it off me! - You sure? Revelations is a real page-turner.
- What are you doin' here? - It's your party.
You tell me.
- She said I was the defendant.
- What are you defending? - I don't know.
- What are the charges? I don't know.
I don't know.
- Sounds to me like you're on trial.
- What have I done? Is the prosecution ready to begin its opening statement? - Yes, Your Honor.
- The defense? Absolutely.
#So pretty and, oh, so bold # # Got a heart full of gold on a Ionely road # - # She said, "I don't even think that God can save me"# - # Save me # # Am I gaining ground Am I losing face # # Have I lost and found my saving grace # # Thankful for the gift my angels gave me ## A pattern of behavior that's what the prosecution will prove.
A pattern leading the defendant to question her present state of mind which includes a tendency towards violence.
A lifestyle considered, at best, provocative Ow! and, at worst, promiscuous when fueled by the demon alcohol.
Mmm.
Oh! - What are we doing? - Taking the stairs.
You're a real piece of shit.
Shit! All patterns which may well have cost the life of one human being already.
Counsel.
Counsel! - Your opening, please.
- Oh.
Uh, passionate.
Feisty.
Alive.
White hot.
Miracle of nature.
Shit, man.
- Better? - Where are we? Athens.
Olympic wrestlin'.
Athens? Like a crapload of years ago? - # People all over the world # - # Everybody # - # Join hands # - # Join # - # Start a love train # - # Love train # Only met Carl three months ago.
# People all over the world now join hands # - # Love ride # - # Start a love train # # Love train # # The next stop that we make # # Will be England # # Tell all the folks in Russia # # And China too # # Don't you know that it's time to get on board # Oh! God's id, libido and ego wrapped in one mighty package.
Bullshit.
Both times, they popped up when we were outside.
For all I know, some kid with a remote control was sittin' across the street with You're not ever gonna understand all this, Grace.
Ain't like God's some crime you can solve.
But why me? Well, I know sometimes God goes alphabetically.
She's a loyal, strong-willed "always be there for you" friend.
As well as a loving aunt whose passion for life is infectious.
And whose heart slowly carves initials into the souls of her closest friends.
Rhetta, what happened? Ronnie's decided to sell the farm.
He asked me to sign the listing papers.
Don't.
Don't do anything.
- We'll look over all the options, pull out some equity.
- There's none left.
- We'll get a line of credit.
- It's frozen.
We'll have somebody else go over the books.
Hell, Rhetta, if we have to rob a bank, I mean It's okay, Grace.
Oh.
Easy, Bug.
It's not that bad.
Somebody shoots at you in broad daylight, nobody sees anything? What kind of shit is that? How can that be? - Grace.
- You could've been killed, Leo.
- Do you understand that? - Hey, hey, hey, hey.
It's okay.
It's okay.
He's okay.
So's Johnny.
They're okay.
You gotta chill, Grace.
I love you, Bobby.
So scream.
Come here.
How'd I do? "Whose heart slowly carves initials into the souls of her friends"? "Closest friends.
" Prosecution calls Detective Ham Dewey to the stand, please.
Harder.
Much harder.
Ow! Shit, Grace, what are you doin'? Stickin' a fork in you.
We're done.
When you first began relations with Detective Hanadarko you were still happily married, correct? I was married.
And how would you describe Detective Hanadarko's reaction to knowing that, in the eyes of God, that you had committed your soul to another woman? I'm pretty sure God's eyes didn't enter into it much.
Oh, Grace! - I can't do this anymore.
- Damn it, Ham.
If it's the last time, can't we at least finish? Oh, shit, Grace.
#I got a big, fast car# - We have to stop.
- How long till we can move again? - Five minutes.
- Shit, Grace, I'm dying here.
Ham.
- Let's just go Western.
- Giddyap.
Your wife's name is Darlene, right? - Yeah.
We've been divorced for a while.
- Divorced? I see.
Would you say that your marriage to Darlene failed because of Detective Hanadarko? No, not at all.
My marriage failed because I failed.
I mean, the choices I made.
It was no one else's responsibility but mine.
And presently, how would you describe your relationship with Detective Hanadarko? I'm here on behalf of the Raccoons Victims Association.
I've really missed hearing you laugh.
God! Uh, we are so screwed.
You know what? Google OKC home-invasion robberies.
Gotta be a blueprint for a copycat.
Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Oh, God! Oh, man! Get it off! Please! Oh! Oh! You are down.
Detective Dewey, these names mean anything to you? Jack St.
Clair, Danny Gallero, Spanky Maris.
Yeah.
How about this one? You remember Zack, don't you? You kidding me? Of course I remember Zack.
I hope that's my Passion Red.
I gotta get that.
Zack, give me the phone, man.
I'm a cop.
- It could be important.
- A cop? Shit! - Zack! - Sorry.
I don't do cops.
No! Zack! You shithead! Shit! Shit! Girl, we only got a little Ham, will you unlock the cuffs? - Where's Zack? - Please.
Ham.
Zack, what are you doing here? I have no idea, but you look great, Grace.
Yeah.
I have no further questions.
Sex, sex, sex.
Seems that's all the prosecutor has on her mind.
Ham, what about you and Grace? Is that all your relationship was based on? No, sir.
Our relationship was based on It-It's still based on so much of I don't know.
I mean of everything.
I mean, we and Grace, man, we have a shitload of laughs together.
Would you say you're still in love with her? Yeah.
I'd say I always will be.
- I have no further questions.
- Detective Dewey, you may step down now.
We call Mrs.
Rhetta Rodriguez to the stand, please.
Mrs.
Rodriguez It is still Mrs.
Rodriguez, isn't it? Yes.
The reason I ask is I understand that you and your husband, Ronnie are going through some relationship issues of your own.
- Is that correct? - I refuse to answer on the grounds that I may incriminate myself.
Well, then let me answer for you.
Tell me what's going on, Grace.
Are you okay? - Just tell me.
- I saw Ronnie kissing another woman.
What? What did you say? Ronnie, what are you doin'? Are you telling me you saw Ronnie kissing Stella? At a pancake house in Purcell this morning at 6:30.
You just destroyed the heart of the kindest person I've ever known.
- Ronnie had a job interview in Henryetta.
- He was in Purcell.
Oh, shit, Grace! Stop! - Did he see you? - Yeah.
He said it was their first kiss.
Was it? Didn't look like it to me.
It was just a kiss.
Now my question is do you believe that Grace's behavior influenced your husband's? I refuse to answer on the grounds that I think you're a real jerk.
Mrs.
Rodriguez.
- Do you consider Grace Hanadarko a friend? - Yes.
- Would you call her a trusted and loyal friend? - What do you think? What college did you say you graduated from? Mrs.
Rodriguez, do you think Grace Hanadarko has a compassionate soul? Absolutely.
I think you're right.
It's just misdirected at objects instead of human beings.
Sweet Jesus! What'd you use a can opener? - We'll put it back together.
- You can't You can't just put her back together.
You don't understand, Rhetta.
She's never gonna ride the same.
- When do I get my car back? - Few more days.
Not good enough.
No.
No.
I need her by tomorrow.
Tomorrow, Rhetta.
I'm not kidding.
No more questions, but reserve time to cross.
Oh.
If I were you, Miss Prosecutor rather than reserving time to cross I'd reserve time to go to confession.
Objects rather than human beings? Your Honor, you oughta think about swearing the lawyers in before the witnesses.
That's not to say Grace's passion doesn't include one thing that's not human.
Gus, my leg's goin' to sleep.
Move! Gus! Shalom, Brother Gus-man.
You're very handsome in your yarmulke.
Let me see.
Oh, Sister Mary Gus-head.
Tomorrow, we'll G-O to your favorite place.
D-O-G P-A-R-K.
I promise.
We'll see your girlfriend Peaches.
Gus is lost.
He broke away from me when I was taking him on his walk this morning.
- That was four hours ago.
- We've been looking for him.
- Gus is missing.
- Go, Grace.
We got the case.
- You want us to go with you? - No.
Just take him home, goddamn it! - This some kind of punishment? - What? - For breaking up Ham's marriage.
- God doesn't work that way, Grace.
Why would God wanna hurt you? I want my Gussy! Where are you, Gussy? - A couple friends of yours here.
- Gus! It's you! Hey, it's you! My next question is for you, Miss Prosecutor.
How can you say words are important when you spend so much time twisting 'em up? When it comes to Grace Hanadarko I suggest you add one more word to your vocabulary "courageous.
" Shit! Cover me! Grace! - Come on, let's go.
- Step out of the truck now.
Come on.
Eleven years ago, a girl picked you up in a bar.
She took you home.
You had sex.
You took your knife and cut her across her shoulder.
As soon as I saw the word "evil" on the warehouse wall I knew there was a "D" somewhere because you did the same thing in my bedroom behind a door.
Your mommy call you an evil little boy tell you women are evil especially women who go to bars? All I had to do was buy you one drink.
Bourbon and Coke, right? She was a whore just like you.
Are you an Indian princess? Are you really a sheriff? Where's my daddy? Everything's gonna be okay.
I want my mommy and daddy.
Everything's gonna be okay.
Where's my mommy? Earlier, the prosecution suggested Grace's actions influenced your husband's adulterous behavior.
Have you seen even a scrap or a spit worth of truth in that meshuggaas? Not a scrap, a sliver or a slice.
Thank you.
Your Honor, I'd like to take my opportunity to cross.
Mrs.
Rodriguez, as it relates to states of mind yours and the defendant's how do you explain this? Oh, Holy Cow.
Mrs.
Rodriguez, will you please point to the cow you refer to as Holy Cow? It would be the only cow in the courtroom with the image of Jesus Christ on its hind leg.
And do you and Detective Hanadarko really believe that you see Jesus in a cow? - On the cow.
- What? Not in the cow.
That would be absurd.
Jesus is on the cow.
Uh Don't you see it? So here's the crown of thorns his two eyes, your beard, mustache It-It's the whole Jesus deal.
I saw a cow with markings on its side that looked just like the face of Jesus.
You're so full of shit.
Cr-Crown of thorns.
- The-The The whole deal.
- Are you drunk? Do you see it? Rhetta, just because a cow has markings that resemble the face of Jesus doesn't mean my sister's had a spiritual encounter.
I keep waiting for a camera crew to jump out - like I've been punk'd.
- You watch Punk'd? I think Jesus' beard is longer.
What do you think? Still don't see it.
Looks more like Jerry Garcia to me.
Why should my ass be the only one saved? And personally, I think the fact that you can't see it says more about your state of mind than mine.
No more questions.
Would Detective Butch Ada please come forward? You've known Detective Hanadarko for Approximately six years.
- And in that time, were you ever partners? - No, ma'am.
- You sure about that? - Of course.
I'm sorry.
I can see why you're confused.
I'm not referring to professional partners as much as personally romantically.
- Now go to bed.
- Wanna join me? I don't take advantage of intoxicated women.
I'm not intoxicated.
- Just I've had a few.
- Too many.
Come on, cowboy.
Leave the hat on.
- Bobby's waiting for me.
- Send him home.
We've been down this road before.
That was a good road trip.
- Tore my heart out, woman.
- Let me kiss it and make it better.
- Go to bed, Grace.
- See, this is why I broke up with you.
- You're no fun.
- I'm fun.
- And I broke up with you.
- Hah! Has the undisputed fact that you and Detective Hanadarko have, let's say, a history created any difficulties in working together? - No.
- Let me remind you you're under oath.
No need.
Between Grace and me it's been absolutely no problem.
You might wanna let this play out.
You might wanna get a mop.
- All right, boss! - Come on! Are you suggesting by saying, and I quote, "Between Grace and me" your history caused other problems? - Depends.
- On what, Detective? Whether you're the one pulling the practical joke, or whether it's being pulled on you.
I don't know, man.
Michelle was just freaking out.
- Says you never call her.
- Why don't you just call her back? - She's totally trippin'.
- Is that why she went in there crying? Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Hey, Butch.
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! - We got you, Longhorn! - Oh, we did! All of you, unbelievable.
- Ham.
- Yeah? Bet you a shot of mescal you scratch on the break.
- With or without the worm? - Without the worm's for pussies.
You're on, man.
Exploding cue ball! My idea! Whee! Three duckies and Mama's buying Ronnie that new combine he's lusting after.
Yeah, baby, one more.
- Oh! - Oh! - Oh! $10,000! - Oh, my God! $10,000! Oh, my God! 10,000! $10,000! $10,000! I gotta go call Ronnie! Oh, my God! - You didn't? - He did! I got it online for 10 bucks.
I put it in her pile.
The fine print on the back says "Redeemable through the tooth fairy.
" - This is a joke? - I didn't have anything to do with it.
- You're dead.
You're - What? Put me down! Ow! Dewey! Get your clothes off! It's hydrofluoric acid! Oh, Christ! We gotta hose you off! Get to the atrium now! You gotta apply calcium gluconate gel! It'll stop the burning! - I'm not burning.
- Give it a minute.
It was all fake! We just pulled off the best prank ever! Can you tell the court who Henry Silver is? Henry is our medical examiner.
Who due to the unfortunate illness of his mother, Marian, couldn't be with us here today.
I do, however, have his deposition.
I'm talking about Grace.
She has been so understanding so sympathetic.
Grace has reached out to me in a very special way on a deeply personal level.
- She slept with you.
- Yes.
Yes, she did.
Not that there was a lot of sleeping involved.
In fact, I was awake for days.
Now, Grace Hmm.
She slept.
Did you know she snores? Detective, Grace's behavior towards you and Henry Silver would you call that her pattern or her M.
O? Answer the question, Detective.
An M.
O.
is a pattern of behavior, yes.
But the only M.
O.
I recognize is another sleazy lawyer working another sleazy angle.
Your witness.
If it pleases Your Honor, rather than question Detective Ada I'd like to call a surprise witness.
He should just now be getting out of school.
- Knock, knock.
- Who's there? - Adelia.
- Adelia who? "Adelia" some cards, and we'll play poker.
So which one is she? She's really pretty, Clay.
Is she a cop? Whoo-hoo-hoo! Come on.
Tell her about the bad guy who stabbed you.
I think I'd rather tell you about the new pirate movie that's rated "Aarr!" - No! It stops now.
- What is it, Grace? - Are you okay, Aunt Grace? - I am fine.
- I don't want him involved in this.
- I wanna be involved.
- He just wants to help, Grace.
- No! - You can't stop me.
- Yes, I can.
You're a minor.
- He's my minor, and I want him to do this.
- Earl? - It's not up to me, Grace.
- It's up to God.
- It can't be.
There is no God.
- Why? - Yes, there is.
- No, there isn't.
- Yes, there is.
- No, there isn't.
Let him testify.
Clay, due to your age, I'll be the only one asking questions.
Okay.
The prosecutor stated that she's going to prove your aunt has a certain pattern of destructive behavior.
Do you see any patterns, good or bad? I don't know about that, but everything my Aunt Grace does, she kinda does her own way.
Could you be more specific? How about me? Okay.
Nice, tight grip.
Take a good aim.
Steady squeeze.
Who you shootin' at? McVeigh.
He's holding a baby.
- Where do I shoot? - You don't.
- What if I have to? - You still don't.
Too dangerous for the baby.
- He's gonna get away and hurt someone else.
- Okay.
Bridge of the nose.
It's your best chance of scrambling his brains before he gets a round off.
I am not letting you teach my kids how to shoot.
- Nice.
- Whoa.
Guess what.
Oh! Cool! There.
Aaah! - Aaah! - Aaah! Thank you, Aunt Grace.
This is so cool.
Clay, you're an Explorer with the O.
C.
P.
D.
Is that correct? Yes, ma'am.
What have you learned by watching your aunt? Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go! That was so cool! O.
C.
P.
D.
is the best! O.
C.
P.
D.
is the best! Watch us as we beat our chest! Watch us as we beat our chest! - O.
C.
P.
D.
! - O.
C.
P.
D.
! - O.
C.
P.
D.
! - O.
C.
P.
D.
! - Sound off! - One, two! - Sound off! - Three, four! Let 'er rip.
- These are for you.
- Clay, freeze.
Stop.
Stay exactly where you are.
Don't move, okay? I'm gonna put my hands over your hands.
Do not move your hands.
There may be a bomb in here.
So everybody else can leave.
You and me gonna stay.
Let the bomb squad get us out of this.
Okay? Get everybody out.
Let's go.
Everyone, calm and quiet.
Clay, you may be dealing with an action switch.
So if you let go, it may set the bomb off.
You're doing so great.
- Am I gonna die? We could die.
- No.
I got sideline passes to OU's first home game.
You and me are gonna be there.
Aunt Grace, I don't think I can hold this much longer.
How would you describe your aunt when she's not just being the fun Aunt Grace? My Aunt Grace loves me.
So mostly she treats me the way I deserve to be treated even if sometimes I wish she didn't.
Give me your right arm.
Act like a tough guy, you get treated like one.
I'm-I'm I'm sorry.
- Aunt Grace.
- My name is Detective Hanadarko.
And if you like watching yourself so much, great.
- Let's watch.
- Claire.
You want a piece of pie? - I'm under oath, right? - Yes.
'Cause I once told Mrs.
Rodriguez that my Aunt Grace was a liar.
And since I'm sure she tells my Aunt Grace everything I want Aunt Grace to know I didn't mean it.
I was wrong.
She told me the truth about my mom a long time ago.
I was just too young to remember.
Thanks for bringing me out here before everyone else showed up.
You wanted to talk about something? - I told Annabelle it was my mom's birthday today.
- What'd she say? She was all sad and everything.
Then I said I was 19 days old when it happened so I didn't even know what was going on.
Annabelle said you and Uncle Leo and Papaw were all here that day.
I asked my dad.
You did? He told me, so it's okay if we talk about it.
What'd he tell you? That Uncle Leo and Papaw put out the fire and you helped people get out of the building.
And that Grandma was babysitting me because my mom wanted to get me a Social Security card.
And she wanted to be the first in line.
Hey, man, it wasn't your fault.
She was supposed to come the day before.
Your dad tell you that? - She was? - Yeah.
I was gonna babysit you.
But I didn't feel good.
If my mom had come the day before she'd be okay.
That's right.
I think we have all we need.
Prosecution calls Grace Hanadarko to the stand, please.
- Do you sw - I certainly do.
Your Honor, I'd like to file a complaint regarding the unique relationship between the counsel and client.
Shit! Earl! I was wrong.
You are making progress.
- I'm proud of you.
- You shouldn't be.
God's got plans with your name written all over 'em.
Why would God have my name on anything but his shit list? Better hang on tight.
Your life's about to get a little bumpy.
I think maybe I shouldn't let this get to me.
Maybe you're not an angel.
Maybe you're just a nice big aneurysm in my brain getting ready to pop like a tick.
No big.
Understand? You do not scare me.
Fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, child! So don't talk to me like I'm one of your punk suspects! I won't take that! What do you want, Earl? The same as you, Grace.
Am I gonna lose her? I know she's your creation, as am I.
May I state my case? I need more time.
And I can't move fast with her.
If I move fast, we're gonna lose her anyway.
I got more faith in this one than I had in Joan and she took the flames to honor you.
Whatever you say, boss.
Promiscuous, violent and an exhibitionist.
Three patterns of behavior I set out to prove when - Uh - Yes? Promiscuous and violent I get that.
But exhibitionist? Detective, what can you tell me about Father Murphy? Oh.
Depends.
Uh, you're talkin' about Father Patrick "Satan" Murphy.
Well, uh, let's see.
He's dead was a pedophile.
Uh, and if God is really as good as people say Father Murphy's penis is in hell being used on other priests like him.
- Tell me where we're going.
- Just shut up.
Let me drive.
You'll know soon enough.
- What? - Father Patrick "Satan" Murphy is alive, Grace.
He's in Tulsa at a retirement home for priests called Holy Redeemer.
There was no death certificate issued.
I tracked him to Vermont.
They said he went to Boston.
Boston said he went to Pittsburgh then Rhode Island and Maine.
He retired three years ago in Tulsa.
- Let's go.
- No.
Rhetta, don't do this shit, man.
- Get in the car.
- No.
- Give me the keys.
- No.
The first time, he stood me in front of a mirror and told me how perfect I was.
How you doin', Father Murphy? I was God's special gift just for him.
- How old were you? - Nine.
He put his hand between my legs.
What, you hide it inside? Then he said God made me all tingly because - I'd know it was okay.
- Do I know you? I'm Grace Hanadarko.
- Get out of bed.
- Forgive me.
Open your mouth.
That's what you used to say to me.
My 11th birthday, he told me he had a present for me.
Then he raped me.
It went on about a year.
We need to pray, Grace.
Dear God, please help me kill Father Murphy.
Amen.
Jesus, Holy Mary, Mother of God.
Goddamn it! This is Father Patrick Murphy.
He raped me when I was in grade school.
He also sexually assaulted 27 other children in 10 states across the country.
- Any more questions? - Just one.
Where'd everybody go? You must have wanted them gone, or they'd still be here.
What was your question? It's not my question.
It's Ben Cooley's.
- You ran me over, bitch.
- I gotta go.
You know a guy named Earl? An angel named Earl? That's why you're in my damn dream.
We got the same last-chance angel.
- How do I get rid of him? - You can't.
- This is bullshit.
- State's gonna stick a needle in my arm in two years seven months and 16 days.
- I wanna be ready.
- Know why his ass was on death row? - He murdered a prison guard.
- He ain't too popular around here.
Every time you leave and enter this room, you will change clothes.
We check on you every 15 minutes.
At night, we'll wake you every hour on the hour.
Secure 4.
- What time is it? - Three minutes after 7:00.
I got less than 35 hours left.
On this earth.
Cooley, final visitor.
How about them Sooners? - You wanna sit down? - Okay.
You know my son.
Ben? He's a good kid.
He and my nephew are friends.
Shit, Hanadarko.
All these connections.
No contact.
No contact, Detective.
Time's up.
We need to get the prisoner ready, ma'am.
- You want me there, Leon? - Yes.
Okay, I'll be there.
- Bye, Hanadarko.
- Bye, Leon.
- What is that? - 1,200 prisoners kicking their doors.
Prisoner, present your legs for application of restraints.
- Let the execution proceed.
- No.
No.
- No! No! - Look at me.
- Look at me.
- No.
Detective.
It's good to see you, Detective.
Please.
Grace.
This is my girlfriend, Amy.
This is my Grammy and Grandpa Cooley.
- Nice to meet you.
- Ma'am.
This was delivered to Ben a week after his father's death.
Inside is a letter written by your nephew, Clay.
We didn't know if you'd want it.
I do.
Will you pray for him? English - US - SDH