Space Ghost Coast to Coast (1993) s03e15 Episode Script
Woody Allen's Fall Project
It's Space Ghost coast to coast!
Tonight, a word-for-word re-enactment of some old stuff
performed by some people you don't know like Andy merrill, Dave
Willis, and Gus Jordan.
Plus Sean gooden, Isabel Gonzalez, Scott lipe, and Rex bullion.
And now, in case you haven't already changed the channel,
James kirkconnell!
Welcome to the amazing tales of
the classic superhero Space Ghost,
who has entertained young and old for generations.
I'm James kirkconnell, and I'll be your host.
Tonight, our tales from the ghost
planet will be re-enacted by the
ghost planet dinner theatre ensemble
of doraville, Georgia.
Presented for you, the viewer, are a selection of famous moments
from Space Ghost's talk show Space Ghost coast to coast.
Let's look in as our players interpret a scene
from the show's fifth episode, entitled "bobcat,"
starring funnyman bobcat goldthwait.
In the following amazing exchange,
it is easy to see why Mr.
Goldthwait is remembered as one
of Space Ghost's favorite guests.
And now, our word-for-word re-enactment
of a conversation that took place at a certain time,
in a certain dimension, somewhere deep in space.
Barney's going to make more kids snap than bugs bunny.
Uh-huh.
A kid knows bugs bunny's joking around.
Kids think Barney is for real.
Uh-huh.
I love you you don't love us, Barney. You don't even know us.
Ok. We're back with bobcat goldthwait.
I understand that you have special powers.
Yes. I'm able to, uh Bend forks.
Wow!
But only at Denny's.
Any other kind of forks, I don't seem able to bend.
Wow! Now, is this physically or mentally?
UmWell, I do it with my mind,
but you got to look awayReally
For a little while.
When I said you were pretty,
I meant you remind me of Judy Collins.
Judy Collins!
Wow, Space Ghost, man.
Crack a window, will you?
I'd be violently sucked into space.
Then maybe people would tune in.
Well, I think Moltar's giving us the
signal to wrap it up. Huh, Space Ghost?
No, bobcat. That's just his way of
telling us to finish the interview.
Join us for dinner after the show?
Thanks. I'd love to join you for dinner,
but I don't know about eating
with no gigantic locust.
Don't they spit on their food first,
then munch it up and spit it back out?
That's regurgitational ingestion.
Flies do it, not locusts.
Yeah. Well But you know, that's exactly how I eat,
so perhaps I will dine with you.
All righty!
We'll meet you in the chamber after the show. Any parting words?
Space Ghost, I want to party with you.
You mean with a party cake and lemonade and paper hats?
Perhaps. Perhaps.
All righty, then.
And so our classic superhero Space Ghost
went on to talk with the ramones,
with typically illuminating results.
Next, our actors take on a particularly challenging moment
in the lexicon of Space Ghost material.
Our superhero
stalwart, manly,
single
becomes smitten with his guest,
television-superstar- turned-author
Fran drescher.
We join our troupe just as the blush of love
begins to color Space Ghost's superheroic
perception for the first time.
Once again,
I invite you to witness our word-for-word re-enactment
of an amazing scene from the episode
"girlie show."
It took place at a certain time,
in a certain dimension,
somewhere deep in space.
Hey, hey, ho, ho,
Space Ghost has got to go After lunch,
we'll marry in a simple ceremony.
She'll grow to love the ghost planet after a while.
Space Ghost has got to go.
Hey, hey, ho, ho, Space Ghost has got to go.
Don't mind him, dearest. Labor dispute.
Well, you can fire him. You're the star.
He can't fire me.
I'm the hardest-working mantis in show business.
Hi-yo!
Forget him, my fair nanny.
He's but a lowly proletariat.
Actually, I'm episcopalian.
You know, I've never met a woman
guest quite like you before, nanny.
Thank you. I know.
Oh, yeah. I can sense quality in a
female of the species when I scan for it.
Zorak, there's a nanny present. Watch your mouth.
I can't. It's It's too underneathy.
My husband says that husband? Right.
I'm sorry, nanny, but
Good-bye.
One wonders if Valiant super-crusader Space Ghost
is still haunted
by the melodious laughter of television's "the nanny."
We hope you enjoyed our word-for-word
interpretation of their meeting.
Next, Space Ghost comes face-to-face
with the disturbing antics of bill manspeaker
of the schlock rock group green jelly.
We take you now to the re-enactment of a scene from the episode
"freak show,"
in which Mr. manspeaker appears before Space Ghost
in a fearsome and elaborate costume.
Our hero expresses his frustration
at Moltar's apparent inability
to produce a guest who is not, as Space Ghost says, "a freak."
And now, our word-for-word re-enactment
of an amazing conversation
that took place at a certain time,
in a certain dimension,
somewhere deep in space.
Hello, there, Mr. Space Ghost.
Uh
Where are you?
And just who are you supposed to be?
I'm 100% stupid.
Moltar, do you have any non-freaks to put in my monitor?
Well
No.
Oh, well, that's just great.
Wh-where's Space Ghost?
Oh, shut up.
I want Space Ghost now.
Where is he?
Are you like Jeannie or bewitched?
First, we start off with a little guitar.
Waah!
And then I go, "yeah!"
And then the girls go, "ooh!"
And then I go, "hot mamas!"
And then they go, "here's a whole bunch of money."
And I take the money.
Then I go out, and then I try to buy apple Jacks,
but, you know, then the secret service
is coming and got hitting me, and I'd
say, "stop hitting me. Who's hitting you? Stop it!"
You look like a woman on tv.
Ok. That's it. I can't take this anymore.
Space Ghost, oh, don't leave me!
Anybody have any idea who that was?
Some lost soul cowering behind some cheap costume,
afraid to reveal his true identity.
And so we conclude
this amazing re-enactment
of a scene from the classic superhero Space Ghost
and his show Space Ghost coast to coast.
This is James kirkconnell saying, we'll be back in a minute
with more re-enactments.
Welcome back to our presentation
of famous scenes from Space Ghost
coast to coast
interpreted by the ghost planet dinner theatre ensemble
of doraville, Georgia.
I'm James kirkconnell, your host.
On march 31,
superhero Space Ghost welcomed as his guest
Michael stipe
from the acclaimed and popular rock combo r.E.M.
In this re-enactment of a scene
from the episode entitled "hungry,"
Space Ghost and his bandleader zorak
are joined by Raymond, zorak's small nephew.
And now, relax and enjoy our word-for-word re-enactment
of an amazing conversation that
took place at a certain time, in a
certain dimension,
somewhere deep in space.
Ok, Mike.
I'm going to send you a high-pitched
message that only you can hear.
Why me?
No message, Space Ghost.
Ok, then, sing that song.
Sing that shiny, shiny people song.
No.
I'll get you started.
Shiny, shiny people
shiny, shiny people I hate that song, Space Ghost.
Oh, me, too, Michael. Me, too.
Say, Mike, do you think I'm a shiny, shiny person?
I would say yes.
Yes? Yes.
You're sure?
Yes. Absolutely.
You don't see some dark, horrible corner inside of me somewhere?
No. None.
Ok. You're sure?
Yep.
I have a question. Is that you in the corner? That way.
In the corner.
Yeah. That's me in the corner.
Yeah.
Freaky.
So, what's next for you?
What's on your plate?
Ooh.
Uh, I'm I'm going to drive to dinner.
Take us. No.
I want to go.
Take us, please. No.
Come on, stipe. Give us a break. Buy us some dinner.
I want to sit down.
Shut up.
Well, how about him? Will he take us?
Yes. Absolutely.
Great. See you.
Just me Moltar.
Out of lines, hanging out.
Space Ghost, zorak, and his nephew Raymond
never made the proposed dinner with Mr. stipe,
as Raymond was tragically devoured by zorak
as an off-camera snack.
Those hungry for high drama will relish our final re-enactment,
a legendary scene from the episode entitled "banjo,"
in which Space Ghost nurtures a small
sea monkey into a horrific aberration
intent on destroying his talk show set.
Joining Space Ghost is comic performer
weird al yankovic.
And now behold our final word-for-word
re-enactment of the evening,
which begins with an amazing conversation
one that took place at a certain time, in a certain dimension,
somewhere deep in space.
Zorak's wacky, ain't he?
Uh, sure. Um
Hey, zorak, you evil locust!
Mantis!
My powers are beyond your comprehension.
Do a "b" flat.
aah
baa aah
baa aah baa aah baa aah
aah now contort your body.
Ok.
What does that feel like?
Well, it's kind of painful,
and it kind of feels good at the same time.
You mean, like when your enemy is shaving your back, and
ohh!
Can you help me here, Space Ghost?
What? Can you help me?
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Hey, hoo, haga!
Uhh!
You know, that reminds me of a story
a story about a little pellet who,
with a little grit and a lot of sheer will,
became a sea monkey.
He also shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.
Ha ha ha! And you know, al, that little sea monkey is named
Banjo.
Here, banjo.
Banjo!
Here, shrimp.
Aren't you plucky, finding your way to the set?
Uh-oh.
Jumping jujubes!
Man, that's a big shrimp.
Well, I got to go now.
No, banjo! Why are you doing this?
I gave you life!
No!
What have I unleashed?
That's it, boy. Come get some.
At this moment in the episode entitled "banjo,"
explosions rock the set, causing our
brave host to plummet from the sky,
falling on his superheroic behind.
We pick up the episode in time for
Space Ghost's closing soliloquy.
Why do we always hurt the ones we love?
Why, banjo? Why?
Banjo!
Banjo!
Banjo!
And so we have a very grievous
Space Ghost at the end of "banjo,"
not to mention a lesson learned about the danger of sea monkey
kits in space.
We hope you have enjoyed our re-enactments,
assisted by the ghost planet
dinner theatre ensemble of doraville, Georgia.
Tonight you have witnessed re-enactments
of fantastic adventures, both amazing and profound.
This is James kirkconnell for Space Ghost coast to coast,
in a certain time, in a certain dimension, bidding you farewell.
Tonight, a word-for-word re-enactment of some old stuff
performed by some people you don't know like Andy merrill, Dave
Willis, and Gus Jordan.
Plus Sean gooden, Isabel Gonzalez, Scott lipe, and Rex bullion.
And now, in case you haven't already changed the channel,
James kirkconnell!
Welcome to the amazing tales of
the classic superhero Space Ghost,
who has entertained young and old for generations.
I'm James kirkconnell, and I'll be your host.
Tonight, our tales from the ghost
planet will be re-enacted by the
ghost planet dinner theatre ensemble
of doraville, Georgia.
Presented for you, the viewer, are a selection of famous moments
from Space Ghost's talk show Space Ghost coast to coast.
Let's look in as our players interpret a scene
from the show's fifth episode, entitled "bobcat,"
starring funnyman bobcat goldthwait.
In the following amazing exchange,
it is easy to see why Mr.
Goldthwait is remembered as one
of Space Ghost's favorite guests.
And now, our word-for-word re-enactment
of a conversation that took place at a certain time,
in a certain dimension, somewhere deep in space.
Barney's going to make more kids snap than bugs bunny.
Uh-huh.
A kid knows bugs bunny's joking around.
Kids think Barney is for real.
Uh-huh.
I love you you don't love us, Barney. You don't even know us.
Ok. We're back with bobcat goldthwait.
I understand that you have special powers.
Yes. I'm able to, uh Bend forks.
Wow!
But only at Denny's.
Any other kind of forks, I don't seem able to bend.
Wow! Now, is this physically or mentally?
UmWell, I do it with my mind,
but you got to look awayReally
For a little while.
When I said you were pretty,
I meant you remind me of Judy Collins.
Judy Collins!
Wow, Space Ghost, man.
Crack a window, will you?
I'd be violently sucked into space.
Then maybe people would tune in.
Well, I think Moltar's giving us the
signal to wrap it up. Huh, Space Ghost?
No, bobcat. That's just his way of
telling us to finish the interview.
Join us for dinner after the show?
Thanks. I'd love to join you for dinner,
but I don't know about eating
with no gigantic locust.
Don't they spit on their food first,
then munch it up and spit it back out?
That's regurgitational ingestion.
Flies do it, not locusts.
Yeah. Well But you know, that's exactly how I eat,
so perhaps I will dine with you.
All righty!
We'll meet you in the chamber after the show. Any parting words?
Space Ghost, I want to party with you.
You mean with a party cake and lemonade and paper hats?
Perhaps. Perhaps.
All righty, then.
And so our classic superhero Space Ghost
went on to talk with the ramones,
with typically illuminating results.
Next, our actors take on a particularly challenging moment
in the lexicon of Space Ghost material.
Our superhero
stalwart, manly,
single
becomes smitten with his guest,
television-superstar- turned-author
Fran drescher.
We join our troupe just as the blush of love
begins to color Space Ghost's superheroic
perception for the first time.
Once again,
I invite you to witness our word-for-word re-enactment
of an amazing scene from the episode
"girlie show."
It took place at a certain time,
in a certain dimension,
somewhere deep in space.
Hey, hey, ho, ho,
Space Ghost has got to go After lunch,
we'll marry in a simple ceremony.
She'll grow to love the ghost planet after a while.
Space Ghost has got to go.
Hey, hey, ho, ho, Space Ghost has got to go.
Don't mind him, dearest. Labor dispute.
Well, you can fire him. You're the star.
He can't fire me.
I'm the hardest-working mantis in show business.
Hi-yo!
Forget him, my fair nanny.
He's but a lowly proletariat.
Actually, I'm episcopalian.
You know, I've never met a woman
guest quite like you before, nanny.
Thank you. I know.
Oh, yeah. I can sense quality in a
female of the species when I scan for it.
Zorak, there's a nanny present. Watch your mouth.
I can't. It's It's too underneathy.
My husband says that husband? Right.
I'm sorry, nanny, but
Good-bye.
One wonders if Valiant super-crusader Space Ghost
is still haunted
by the melodious laughter of television's "the nanny."
We hope you enjoyed our word-for-word
interpretation of their meeting.
Next, Space Ghost comes face-to-face
with the disturbing antics of bill manspeaker
of the schlock rock group green jelly.
We take you now to the re-enactment of a scene from the episode
"freak show,"
in which Mr. manspeaker appears before Space Ghost
in a fearsome and elaborate costume.
Our hero expresses his frustration
at Moltar's apparent inability
to produce a guest who is not, as Space Ghost says, "a freak."
And now, our word-for-word re-enactment
of an amazing conversation
that took place at a certain time,
in a certain dimension,
somewhere deep in space.
Hello, there, Mr. Space Ghost.
Uh
Where are you?
And just who are you supposed to be?
I'm 100% stupid.
Moltar, do you have any non-freaks to put in my monitor?
Well
No.
Oh, well, that's just great.
Wh-where's Space Ghost?
Oh, shut up.
I want Space Ghost now.
Where is he?
Are you like Jeannie or bewitched?
First, we start off with a little guitar.
Waah!
And then I go, "yeah!"
And then the girls go, "ooh!"
And then I go, "hot mamas!"
And then they go, "here's a whole bunch of money."
And I take the money.
Then I go out, and then I try to buy apple Jacks,
but, you know, then the secret service
is coming and got hitting me, and I'd
say, "stop hitting me. Who's hitting you? Stop it!"
You look like a woman on tv.
Ok. That's it. I can't take this anymore.
Space Ghost, oh, don't leave me!
Anybody have any idea who that was?
Some lost soul cowering behind some cheap costume,
afraid to reveal his true identity.
And so we conclude
this amazing re-enactment
of a scene from the classic superhero Space Ghost
and his show Space Ghost coast to coast.
This is James kirkconnell saying, we'll be back in a minute
with more re-enactments.
Welcome back to our presentation
of famous scenes from Space Ghost
coast to coast
interpreted by the ghost planet dinner theatre ensemble
of doraville, Georgia.
I'm James kirkconnell, your host.
On march 31,
superhero Space Ghost welcomed as his guest
Michael stipe
from the acclaimed and popular rock combo r.E.M.
In this re-enactment of a scene
from the episode entitled "hungry,"
Space Ghost and his bandleader zorak
are joined by Raymond, zorak's small nephew.
And now, relax and enjoy our word-for-word re-enactment
of an amazing conversation that
took place at a certain time, in a
certain dimension,
somewhere deep in space.
Ok, Mike.
I'm going to send you a high-pitched
message that only you can hear.
Why me?
No message, Space Ghost.
Ok, then, sing that song.
Sing that shiny, shiny people song.
No.
I'll get you started.
Shiny, shiny people
shiny, shiny people I hate that song, Space Ghost.
Oh, me, too, Michael. Me, too.
Say, Mike, do you think I'm a shiny, shiny person?
I would say yes.
Yes? Yes.
You're sure?
Yes. Absolutely.
You don't see some dark, horrible corner inside of me somewhere?
No. None.
Ok. You're sure?
Yep.
I have a question. Is that you in the corner? That way.
In the corner.
Yeah. That's me in the corner.
Yeah.
Freaky.
So, what's next for you?
What's on your plate?
Ooh.
Uh, I'm I'm going to drive to dinner.
Take us. No.
I want to go.
Take us, please. No.
Come on, stipe. Give us a break. Buy us some dinner.
I want to sit down.
Shut up.
Well, how about him? Will he take us?
Yes. Absolutely.
Great. See you.
Just me Moltar.
Out of lines, hanging out.
Space Ghost, zorak, and his nephew Raymond
never made the proposed dinner with Mr. stipe,
as Raymond was tragically devoured by zorak
as an off-camera snack.
Those hungry for high drama will relish our final re-enactment,
a legendary scene from the episode entitled "banjo,"
in which Space Ghost nurtures a small
sea monkey into a horrific aberration
intent on destroying his talk show set.
Joining Space Ghost is comic performer
weird al yankovic.
And now behold our final word-for-word
re-enactment of the evening,
which begins with an amazing conversation
one that took place at a certain time, in a certain dimension,
somewhere deep in space.
Zorak's wacky, ain't he?
Uh, sure. Um
Hey, zorak, you evil locust!
Mantis!
My powers are beyond your comprehension.
Do a "b" flat.
aah
baa aah
baa aah baa aah baa aah
aah now contort your body.
Ok.
What does that feel like?
Well, it's kind of painful,
and it kind of feels good at the same time.
You mean, like when your enemy is shaving your back, and
ohh!
Can you help me here, Space Ghost?
What? Can you help me?
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Hey, hoo, haga!
Uhh!
You know, that reminds me of a story
a story about a little pellet who,
with a little grit and a lot of sheer will,
became a sea monkey.
He also shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.
Ha ha ha! And you know, al, that little sea monkey is named
Banjo.
Here, banjo.
Banjo!
Here, shrimp.
Aren't you plucky, finding your way to the set?
Uh-oh.
Jumping jujubes!
Man, that's a big shrimp.
Well, I got to go now.
No, banjo! Why are you doing this?
I gave you life!
No!
What have I unleashed?
That's it, boy. Come get some.
At this moment in the episode entitled "banjo,"
explosions rock the set, causing our
brave host to plummet from the sky,
falling on his superheroic behind.
We pick up the episode in time for
Space Ghost's closing soliloquy.
Why do we always hurt the ones we love?
Why, banjo? Why?
Banjo!
Banjo!
Banjo!
And so we have a very grievous
Space Ghost at the end of "banjo,"
not to mention a lesson learned about the danger of sea monkey
kits in space.
We hope you have enjoyed our re-enactments,
assisted by the ghost planet
dinner theatre ensemble of doraville, Georgia.
Tonight you have witnessed re-enactments
of fantastic adventures, both amazing and profound.
This is James kirkconnell for Space Ghost coast to coast,
in a certain time, in a certain dimension, bidding you farewell.