Stuck in the Middle (2016) s03e15 Episode Script

1 [cheerful music.]
You know, you're supposed to be folding those yourself.
I invented something to do it myself.
Meet the Laundro-Mate! [device whirring.]
It makes clean clothes dirty and wrinkled? I already got seven kids who do that.
Okay, so it still has some kinks with long sleeves, short ones.
Great with tank tops, though.
You can't use a machine for everything.
Right, right.
So you're gonna take those clothes out and scrub them on rocks instead of the washer? [sighs.]
At least make that thing simple enough so I can use it when you're finished.
Hey, check out all that laundry.
[Beast.]
Well, let's be helpful.
And put it on the clothesline! - [Lewie.]
Argh! - [Beast.]
Yeah! [Harley sighs.]
See? My laundro-mates are as good as yours, and they're ten years old.
Boys, pick that up.
In a minute.
Harley, great news.
Today's the Wrestle Smash convention, - and we're going! - We've been practicing our moves so that we could show 'em off to our favorite bad guy.
The Businessman! He's awesome.
He bashes people with his briefcase, then bills them for a new one and his time.
Ethan was going to take us, but since he's out of town with Dad, - you get to.
- Pass.
Sorry, Mom.
I'm tagging you in to this disaster.
And I'm not talking about the folding.
I already turned the boys down.
I have way too much to do around the house.
Wait, I wasn't even your first choice? Why am I upset about that? Tell you what, you take the boys today, and I'll give you a week off chore duty.
After all, watching these two for a day is basically the same as a week of chores.
Just a week? Man, I really hope we're not getting soft.
[Lewie.]
Come on, Harley.
- It'll be fun! - [Harley sighs.]
And Aidan's going.
Aidan's going? Great! He can supervise you.
He's older than me, and he's definitely mature enough to watch the boys.
- [phone playing rock.]
- Who's ready to rumble at Wrestle Smash?! [Aidan shouting.]
[boys shouting.]
[boys grunting.]
[shouting, grunting.]
You were saying? Two weeks off of chores.
- [shouting continues.]
- Deal.
[Aidan grunts.]
Is it too late to ask for three? Hey, hey, hey, hey Sometimes it feels like things are out of control Like you're living in a circus Trying to figure out your way in the world Where you're at is kind of perfect So turn it up, turn it up Do your thing Don't stop Let the games begin Let's jump right in I want to get stuck with you In the middle of the party We're just getting started I want to get Stuck with you In the eye of the tornado Rowing in the same boat I want to get Stuck with you Get stuck in the middle with you I want to get stuck with you I can't wait to meet the basher - of the boardroom.
- [Harley sighs.]
I've been following The Businessman's career since he was the Supervisor of Suffering.
I bet when The Businessman sees our sweet moves, he'll make us the stars of the youth division.
Wrestle Mini-a! Knock yourselves out, weirdos.
I'm gonna work on the fixes for my folding machine.
And we're the weirdos.
No, the submission deadline for Invent-a-con is a week away, and I want a good place in the Imagination Bracket.
Mm, yeah, you're not helping your case.
[distant bell ringing.]
This is the greatest day ever! Look, a genuine Brick Musclestein punching bag.
Test your strength and impress your friends.
Anyone who's impressed by that is not my friend.
And the last thing I need is someone seeing me here.
Whoa! She looks just like Mistress Monk.
- [scoffs.]
I don't.
- [fans clamoring.]
[gasping.]
Can we get your autograph? - [crowd muttering.]
- I'm not Mistress Monk! This isn't a costume.
It's just laundry day.
Come on, give the fans a pose.
You've got to be kidding me! [excited chatter.]
That's your catchphrase! What kind of monk has a catchphrase? I thought they take a vow of silence.
She's different.
She took a vow of violence.
I'm considering taking one of my own.
I wanna take a moment to send a shout out to Betty way out in Leeds.
She turns 100 today.
Congratulations! Well, that's all the time we have here on Good Morning, Boston.
See you tomorrow.
I love Good Morning, Boston.
So much better than Wake Up, New England.
Don't tell me when to wake up.
Look what Rachel sent us.
She made these for us in her design class.
[gasps.]
Oh! They're gorgeous! [gasps.]
Turns out all that shopping was teaching her something.
It's nice of her to send us a gift when her birthday's like two days away.
What? No.
Today's the [gasps.]
Oh, no.
I'm the worst mother in the world.
Don't feel bad.
You also forgot Harley's birthday, your anniversary, picking up Daphne at Tae Kwon Do.
Okay, this is not helping me not feel bad.
Wait a minute.
Rachel's always looking for ways to get exposure for her designs.
What if we find a way to do that? Great, but how? It's not like I'm a fashion reporter on Good Morning, Boston.
Yeah, no one's looking for your tips on layering to cover up stains on their clothes.
But we could wear the dresses down to the studio, stand outside, and try to get them on TV.
And then we could pretend that that was her present all along? [gasps.]
Georgie, thank you for helping me be a better mother.
[chuckles.]
October 17th, it's my birthday.
Yeah, I'll just set an alert.
Oh, if you were a host on Good Morning, Boston, would this get your attention? Oh, man! This isn't a glue stick.
It's lip balm.
Guess we're both having tough days.
So, I've been following Aidan's social media.
Looks like you had the worst time ever.
It did? What'd he post? Oh, that? Fun story.
Harley, come quick.
You've gotta see this! We're at a wrestling convention.
That can't possibly be true.
[Aidan exhaling sharply.]
Aidan and Beast acting like bozos.
Can't see that every day.
We're warming up.
You get to practice beating up a wrestler.
Come on, climb up.
Otherwise we all know it'll be Will you do it now? Will you do it now? Will you do it Not feeling it, guys.
What has this bop bag ever done to me? Pretend it's someone you're mad at.
Think about all the things I did that made you mad.
I shot a lacrosse ball through your window.
I moved that fence and ruined your camp.
I took over your school announcements.
Wrecked your headphones.
[slow motion shouting.]
- Ooh! - Die! [grunts.]
[boys exclaiming.]
- [camera clicks.]
- Oh! [Harley grunting.]
- [Lewie.]
Oh! - That was awesome! Are you sure you're not Mistress Monk? I think I got all that out.
Don't forget about me eating your pancakes.
[shouts.]
Whoa, that is a fun story.
But what's with this? That's me in a hammerlock.
[Beast.]
Businessman! Businessman! Businessman! Wait till you see his signature move the downsizer.
Oh, here he comes.
Here he comes! [Lewie.]
Oh! [crowd cheering.]
Get ready for hostile takeover! [cheering.]
Yah! [cheering continues.]
I need a volunteer! [all clamoring.]
- Here! - Me, me! You, scrappy-looking girl dressed like Mistress Monk.
- [Lewie.]
Oh! - Oh, just my clothes.
It's laundry day.
Mistress Monk! Mistress Monk! [all chanting.]
Mistress Monk! Mistress Monk! Mistress Monk! Mistress Monk! Mistress Monk! - Mistress Monk! - And now, my superfan is gonna show you how to escape a hammerlock.
Escape a what? Follow my lead, kid.
[Businessman grunts.]
[crowd exclaiming.]
Harley! Harley! Harley! [all chanting.]
Harley! Harley! Harley! Harley! Harley! [Harley.]
Not only did I have a good time, but I turned Aidan from an enemy into a friend.
Sounds like you turned him into more than a friend.
Do you think I should use the purple side? Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You can't just drop a bomb like that and then ask me about purple.
Well, I'm just saying.
It sounds like Aidan did a lot of stuff to help you have fun.
He talked you into tackling a bop bag.
That was more for him than me.
He got an entire crowd to chant your name.
They were this close to doing that on their own.
And every time you said the name "Aidan" during your story, you smiled.
Please.
I didn't smile when I said "Aidan.
" Did it again.
Face it, you like him.
Okay, you're crazy.
And your sign says, "Good Morning Bontos.
" Not "Boston.
" [sighs.]
Well, my sign making may not be great, but my instincts are.
You like Aidan.
He was the most appealing guy at a wrestling convention.
That's a very low bar.
We're just friends.
I don't like Aidan.
[chuckles.]
You just smiled again.
That's just how I look.
I have resting smile face.
Aidan said The Businessman is staying in a hotel in Marshport! We're gonna stake it out tomorrow to see if he'll put us in our own hammerlock.
- I'm in! - Yes! Come on.
Mm, nothing strange there.
Just Harley jumping at the chance to ambush a guy in tights with her little brothers and a neighbor.
Oh, yeah, you're right, Georgie.
'Cause every classic love story starts with stalking a pretend businessman.
Not everyone's, just yours.
[crowd cheering.]
Excuse me! [chuckles.]
Pardon me.
Sorry.
Oh! Nice shoes.
[Suzy chuckles.]
Yeah, we're still not close enough.
I think you're gonna have to channel our inner Rachel.
[sighs.]
Out of my way! Don't mess with the dress! [Suzy.]
High heel coming through! [grunts.]
Whoo! Wow, that came out a bit too naturally.
I'm gonna blame the dress.
Look at us! We're front row! I'll text this to Rachel and tell her to tune in - to the livestream.
- Ooh, we did it! She's gonna freak.
[sighs.]
- [phone dings.]
- Oh! Is she blown away? What'd she say? We have the dresses on backwards.
We're about to debut her creations backwards.
Backwards? What?! We'll be right back after this.
- [crowd cheering.]
- There's the camera.
- Ooh! - Run! [cheering.]
Oh, I see it now.
Who would've thought? The zipper goes in the front.
Mm.
I guess that's how they do it in Paris.
Yeah.
I was surprised you agreed to come.
Well, I guess you don't know me.
Like Georgie doesn't know me.
Only I know me.
Okay.
Okay, so Georgie's theory that I like Aidan, totally crazy! I mean, if I had more evidence, I might consider it.
But the right data just isn't there.
And as a scientist, I'm all about the data.
When do you think The Businessman will show? Could be a while.
He's always getting stuck in meetings.
And doorways.
[forced laughter.]
[Harley.]
Why did I just laugh way too hard at that joke? [Harley blowing.]
Here, you can have this.
I'm really not that cold.
It's just sitting here.
It'd be a waste if someone didn't use it.
I could argue with you, but I really don't want to.
[lightly chuckles.]
[Harley.]
Why did I just sniff his jacket? While we're waiting, I got sour bears! - [Beast.]
Oh! - Thanks, Aidster! What did you call me? She called you "Aidster.
" It's a nickname.
I give everyone nicknames.
Right, Beast-y-cakes? Uh-oh.
Get out of my way! Move, move! Ugh! Did no one hear me when I asked her to save our spots? It's like dress emergency means nothing to you people.
[gasps.]
There's the host again.
Let's take a look at the crowd.
There's a glittery sign.
Oh! We have a proposal here! [gasps.]
Wait, seriously? [crowd cheering.]
It's a yes! That's all the time we have today.
Stay tuned for Judge Larry's Chowder Court.
[cheering continues.]
Ugh! Okay, so I laughed at Aidan's not-funny joke, I like the smell of his jacket, and I gave him a nickname.
And I am very anti-nickname.
The data's in.
I like Aidster.
Aidan.
The Businessman! [Lewie and Beast shouting.]
Hey! Wait, wait! Guys! That's not The Businessman.
That's a businessman.
[Harley.]
We're so sorry.
They thought you were a pro-wrestler.
Which, honestly, is a tribute to your workout routine.
So, uh, good on you.
[The Businessman.]
Nice moves, men.
Oh, we're huge fans.
Think we could get a company photo? Let's bring this meeting to order.
- [boys cheering.]
- [Businessman chuckles.]
Hey, buddy, pull your lady friend in tight.
Harley was wrong Georgie was right You like Aidan [sighs.]
Sorry.
I had a bad day, and I really needed something to go my way.
I'd be upset, but your data supports the trash-talking.
Oh, so what are you gonna do now? Go to the mall? Catch a movie? Oh, I'm shutting it down.
Between school, and inventing, the Slushy Shack, and family stuff, I have no room for a boy in my life.
I don't think you can ignore your feelings like that.
Feelings that you proved with science.
Hey, science can prove a lot of things.
Doesn't mean I have to do them.
Science is not the boss of me.
It doesn't control what I do.
Hmm, what about gravity? You'd go flying off the Earth.
- Well, yeah, gravity.
- And oxygen? You like breathing, don't you? I'm gonna go breathe somewhere else.
Hey, you finally took our advice and invented a shirt flinger.
It's supposed to fold, not fling.
You know why this still isn't working? Because I wasted so much time doing dumb wrestling stuff.
Look, we appreciate that you tried some of our favorite things getting put in a hammerlock, hiding in bushes.
So, we want to do something that you like.
Yep, we got four tickets to the science museum.
Us three plus Aidan.
Let's keep the good times rolling.
Speaking of rolling, should there happen to be a roller coaster simulator there, that would be a pleasant surprise.
That wasn't at all a part of this selfless gesture.
Can't.
Did you miss the science museum part? Planetarium, Harley.
Planetarium.
I have work to do.
Why would Harley say no to the museum when she said yes to the wrestling stuff? It doesn't make any sense.
I don't know what you two are fighting about, but I'm in a dress, so warn me before you start throwing food.
We're trying to figure out what Beast did to Harley to make her not want to go to the museum with Aidan and I.
What Lewie did.
But otherwise, that's correct.
For once it wasn't anything either of you did.
Harley said no because Aidan was going.
Well, she likes him, but she doesn't want to.
So she's avoiding him.
She likes him, so she's staying away from him.
- That makes no sense! - Hmm.
I agree.
It's very immature.
Don't want any spill-sies.
But we had a bunch of other fun stuff planned for us all to do.
And we can't do any of it if she avoids him.
It's not good to live your life avoiding things.
You won't have any fun.
And we don't avoid anything.
Except high-fiving possums.
Nothing they do deserves a high-five.
It's Rachel's birthday, and in France it's already half over, - so this better work.
- Ugh, seriously.
I've had my foot stepped on 300 times in the past two days.
That canasta club from Tampa is very territorial.
Oh, looks like they're on a commercial break.
See if you can get Scott's attention.
Hi, ladies.
Loving those dresses.
Is there a story behind them? You bet there is, Scott.
Great.
Why don't you tell me after our next segment? Oh! He said segment.
I feel like we're in Hollywood.
Welcome back, Beantown.
Coming up, Chef Marcus is gonna fire up some tasty yogurt smoothies.
But first, here to promote his latest movie, Take This Job and Smash It, The Businessman! [crowd cheering.]
Get ready for a hostile takeover! I understand you're gonna show me how to escape a hammerlock.
Oh! Somebody get my agent on the phone.
[crowd screams.]
[crowd groaning.]
Wha No.
Come on, Harley, we need you to fix the slide.
Right now it's more of a sit.
I don't have time for this.
You might as well do it right now.
Otherwise, we all know it'll be: Do you have time now? Do you have time now? Do you have time now? What is this? Hey, the slide's actually not broken.
Well, clearly, I'm in the way.
So, enjoy the fresh mud pies in the cooler.
I was hoping you knew what was going on.
'Cause I made the mistake of blindly following them in here.
You've got so much to learn.
I guess someone wants us to be alone together.
Wasn't me.
I don't wanna be alone with you.
Ever! - Oh, hmm.
- Hmm.
What was that out there?! That's us trying to help you.
We know you like Aidan.
- What?! No.
- Drop the act.
Georgie told us you like him.
I can't believe it.
Georgie is such a blabber face.
I think that's been established.
[sighs.]
If you like Aidan, why are you avoiding him? Two months ago I was trying to destroy him with an army of children.
Just never thought that I [clears throat.]
All right, Harley.
Oh, boy, you're going to give me one of your long speeches, aren't you? I am.
Harley, you can't let being afraid stop you from doing the things you want.
When me and Beast were learning how to ride a bike, Dad used to run behind us because we were afraid.
But one day he let go, and we were riding on our own.
Didn't you guys crash the first time? Yeah, but that was fun, too.
Come on, you're always the person who encourages people to go for what they want.
You got Rachel to go to college, Georgie to dance, Ethan to finish a movie.
It's time for you to take your own advice.
Now.
My speech is done.
[chuckles.]
Good news I got the show to pay for our dry-cleaning.
I told them if they didn't, I'd see them in Judge Larry's Chowder Court.
You're not going to believe this, but the clip of us getting smoothied on live TV already has two hundred thousand views.
Oh, no! When Rachel hears about this she's gonna flip out.
Rachel's the one who posted it.
[crowd exclaiming.]
She tagged it! [gasps.]
Thanks to our humiliation, her designs are getting a ton of exposure.
[chuckles.]
And she just texted saying we could wear her next two dresses on TV, too.
Ugh! Tell her to make 'em in Daphne and Harley sizes.
- Hmm.
For real.
- [crowd exclaiming.]
- [chuckles.]
- I know.
It's great.
Hey! I just wanna say I had nothing to do with whatever that is my brothers set up.
But it's just sitting there.
It'd be a waste if someone didn't use it.
[chuckles.]
Uh, I could argue with you, but I really don't want to.
The racecar lights were a nice touch.
But, uh, I'd lay off the mud pies if I were you.
Something inside Is coming on strong And it's time, time to hold on Something inside Has grown so cold And it's time to say [sighs.]
We did good today, Beast.
Yeah, we did.
So, when do we ask them to go paintballing? Let them enjoy this.
Tomorrow we'll hit them up about paintball.
Then we'll hit them with paintballs.
I believe in you