Baby Daddy s03e16 Episode Script

Oh, don't you give me that look.
How should I know where you put your teething ring? You have got to be a little more responsible.
Like me.
Oh, here are my keys! Knock knock.
Hey, I'm guessing that someone is looking for this.
Oh, thank you.
Let's just say someone threw a huge tantrum and needed a cookie.
Emma was kind of upset too.
Well, lovely to see you, but we have got to run.
My sister Georgie just flew in, and Riley's meeting her for the first time.
Oh, I actually just promised her a round of super Emma.
You got two seconds? - Yeah.
- All right.
Here we go, Emma.
All right.
One, two, three.
Super Emma! Whoo! I have to say, you almost seem like a real family.
I'm still a little surprised the two of you never dated.
What? No, never.
Oh, gross.
That would be like dating my brother.
Just disgusting.
No.
Blech.
- Isn't it nap time? - She just got up.
Oh, great.
Let's put her down.
You know, maybe it's just me but I'm starting to feel like you never told Phillip - that we dated.
- No, I didn't tell him.
At first, I thought he'd think it was weird since I spend like half my life over here, and now I feel like I've waited so long it seems like I'm trying to hide something.
Okay, well I think it's pretty obvious what the problem is here.
You still have feelings for me.
Yeah, let's let's call that the opposite of the problem.
Oh.
"So you're saying there's nothing about this you find appealing?" He said while peeling off his shirt.
Oh my God.
Stop it.
Everything all right in there? Yeah, yeah.
Everything's perfect.
Everything's great.
Hi.
Bye, Emma.
Hi.
She so likes me.
Put a beer in your hand, and you look like grandma waiting for the lotto numbers to come out.
I can't help it.
Contract negotiations make me nervous.
Daniel Mellencamp Wheeler.
Sit down, okay? Everything is going to be fine.
How can you say that? We just got a new general manager, and lately my play has been lamentable.
True.
But that word of the day calendar is certainly paying for itself.
Calm down.
No one is going to be traded.
You said no one was getting traded.
Well, except for maybe that guy.
Okay, all right.
I made it.
I have about an hour before anyone notices I stole the camera.
And the cameraman.
What is he doing here? Well, I asked Tucker to do a fake feature to create some fake buzz so that they can see that you are the real deal.
Yeah, I didn't follow it either, but she was like "or else.
" Sorry to keep you waiting, Danny.
Don't be silly.
We love waiting.
And we love new contracts.
Let's sign one.
Bonnie Wheeler, mom-ager.
I've heard great things about you.
Oh, I've heard about you too.
And so the negotiation dance begins.
First round goes to the hot ranger lady.
I'm sorry, who are you, and why are you in my office? Tucker Dobbs, "The Mary Hart Show.
" We're doing a little piece on the amazing Danny Wheeler.
Fun.
And if you want to branch out and cover the rest of the team, give me a call.
I'll let you know which ones I'm keeping.
Hey, you know, Valerie, maybe I could talk to Mary's people and ask if they could do a piece on you.
First female GM in NHL history? Hey, where'd that barrier go? Oh, I know.
Valerie broke it down.
Oh, yeah.
That's gonna have to wait.
I actually came out here to reschedule.
Everyone is calling me with trade proposals.
It's amazing how many people want to play with the Rangers.
Well, I know I do.
Yeah, he does! - And he's been playing! - You know he does, girl! - He knows where to park, so - Yeah.
What is the matter with you? You know I can't have her on the show.
I'm not allowed to book guests ever since the exploding turkey segment.
Look.
You don't have to.
Just promise her anything until Danny's contract is signed.
Yeah, and then you can just pull the plug on her like we did with Uncle Leon.
Uncle Leon is dead? You told me he just ran away.
You just need to focus, Danny, okay? We are getting you a new contract.
We just need some way to butter Valerie up.
Ooh.
Tucker, you're the butter.
Either that, or you're toast.
And Phillip's last girlfriend Emily is just going mad trying to decide between medical school or that modeling contract in Paris.
Georgie, enough.
I'm sure Riley doesn't need to hear about all of my ex-girlfriends.
Oh, no, it's fine.
I'm fine.
I'm just I'm so fine.
I just didn't realize you had so so many.
Each more amazing than the last.
But don't worry.
You're nothing like any of them.
Which is good because I'm here and they're not.
Anyway, enough about me.
Phillip says so little about you.
Well, he knows how much I hate it when he brags about me.
No, I'm just your average "Vogue" editor with degrees in Art History and Marketing from Oxford.
Okay, anyone else need a drink? No, just me? All right.
I'm sorry.
Do I have "hate me" written on my forehead? She doesn't hate you.
And if she does, so what? You're not dating her.
Though that is a very interesting image.
Look, all you need is someone to get her alone and talk you up.
Which I'm willing to do.
Even if it takes all night.
So, Georgie expressed an interest in doing a little sightseeing.
Oh.
Okay, great.
I'll just I'll just close our tab.
Our tab is now closed.
Oh, it's all right.
I'm sure you have better things to do.
If not, I can suggest some.
So, you must be the famous Georgie that Riley's been gushing about.
She did leave one thing out, though.
How beautiful your eyes are.
I'm Ben.
You seem like you know your way around.
I don't suppose you'd like to come sightseeing with us? Actually, I have to find someone to cover for you? Hey, you.
Cover for him.
But I can't just what, wear that? Oh my gosh, don't be silly.
You look so great.
This is gonna be so fun.
The two of us with the two of you.
Oh, Ben.
Thank you so much.
You're such a good friend.
All right, let's move, people.
- Remember, be smooth.
- Like a criminal.
ï½ hee hee.
ï½ - then dig.
- Like a mole.
- Are we clear? - Like a crystal.
Shazam.
Oh.
- Hey.
- Hi.
Bonnie, I didn't realize you'd be joining us.
Oh.
Oh, I'd love to, if you're asking.
- Oh, I'm not.
- Okay.
All right.
That's all right.
I've got to run.
I'm having drinks with the GM of the Islanders.
You know, something about Danny and bags of money.
I guess I'll just have to figure it out.
So, Miss Banks, what do you say we just dive right into this interview? I don't give interviews.
Then why are we here? Well, I was wondering if you'd like to get to know me Off the record.
Well, at the moment You know, it seems like you're getting to know my thigh.
Hey, what did I miss? How do you think it's going? Hard to say.
Right now it looks like they're just feeling each other out.
Oh my God, Ben, thank you.
She actually likes you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Some women actually do.
Well, whatever it is that you're doing, just keep it up until she leaves.
God, I hate her.
What a perfect day.
I have never seen Georgie take to someone so quickly.
I know, right? I love her.
I think she's actually looking forward to moving here now.
She's moving here? Oh, well then, it's a good thing we're getting along so great, huh? - Ben? - I'm on it.
Enjoying the view? More so now.
We might not have Big Ben, but we do have the best regular-sized one.
Do you write these lines down in advance, or do they just come to you? No, that's not a line.
In fact the one thing you should know about me is that I'm a terrible liar.
Ask me anything.
I'll prove it.
How many girlfriends do you have? Just one.
Her name's Emma and you'll never come between us.
Good answer.
Is that why you and Riley broke up? No no, that had nothing to do with it.
Wait, what? I knew it.
I knew the two of you had gone out.
You did, didn't you? No.
Oh, you must be joking.
You're not laughing.
Okay, look.
Please, don't say anything.
Phillip! Well, apparently regular-sized Ben has a big-sized mouth.
Ben? You went out with Ben? I can't believe you just completely lied to me.
Why didn't you tell me? Mainly because I was afraid you would react like this.
Which you are, so at least I got that part right.
Tell him we never even had sex.
Oh my God.
Ben, you are not helping.
But if it helps, we actually didn't.
This is your fault.
Why did you have to say something? I bet Riley will be asking you the same question.
I am not going out with her, okay? Look, I'm not gonna let you pimp me out.
Oh, come on.
We have all done way worse for way less.
It can't just be me.
Look, I'm sorry.
I can't do it.
Why can't you be more like Ben? He'll hit on anything that walks.
See? No offense, honey.
I'm sure you're lovely.
Oh, I'm not his.
Well, not with that attitude, you're not.
Oh, we have a make-up kiss.
Make-up kiss? See? Why can't you be shameless like that? What if I like her? I can't start off our relationship with a lie.
Tucker's right.
What if he does sleep with her? I mean, how is that supposed to help me? Tucker never gets repeat business.
Look, that is not true.
Women love me.
I can get Danny a new contract in 20 minutes.
- Okay, so you'll do it? - No! This gigolo is saying gigo-no.
And that's final.
Fine.
Then I'll not only tell Mary Hart about the camera and the cameraman you borrowed, I'll tell her how you sell locks of her hair online.
Oh, snip snip.
Snip snip.
Um, do you think Valerie likes tapas? Phillip said he forgave me, but he's been weird and distant all day.
I'm wondering if constantly sneaking off with me to a dark hallway is hurting your case.
Okay, you are going to help me make my case.
All right? 'Cause we're gonna go back out there, and we're gonna prove to him once and for all that there is absolutely nothing going on between us.
If that's truly what you believe.
Ignore you check.
I knew I could count on you.
All right, let's go.
Oh! Ooh.
Oh, seriously? I thought the target was just on my back.
What am I gonna do? Oh, you can just put on my t-shirt.
Whoo.
Wow.
Guess there's a first time for everything.
Oh, technically, that was my second time.
Wait, what? Okay, don't look.
Uh, I couldn't even if I wanted to.
Can you help me please? Will you hurry up? Phillip's gonna wonder what's taking us so long.
It's pretty clear, actually.
Phil, there you are.
We've been looking everywhere for you.
Just call me "MVP," most valuable playa.
How'd it go? Is it bad news? Should I sit down? Actually, I'm better standing up.
Turns out, so am I.
Which is why I will be watching you play from the owner's box for the rest of your career.
So I have a career? Yep.
Yeah, she said a new contract is on its way.
Dude, I love older women.
They're not afraid to tell you what you're doing wrong.
It turns, everything.
- Valerie? - Hey, you.
You left your wallet in the cab.
Oh.
- Excuse me.
- Girl, stop.
Danny? Oh.
Miss Banks, I didn't see you behind this pillow.
So, Tuck-Tuck, you bag the cougar? Hi, Bonnie.
Valerie! Hi.
Hey.
Hey, did you see a giant cougar run past here? 'Cause one just escaped from the zoo And we're trying to bag it.
Well, I guess I've been played.
You people are something else.
You know, I've always heard that you were unethical, but congratulations, you've outdone yourself.
Don't worry, Danny.
I won't be trading you.
Really? Thank God.
I'll be cutting you from the team.
In fact, if I have anything to do with it, you will never play another game in the NHL.
Damn it if she don't look good walking away.
So this is nice.
Isn't this nice? I know I'm enjoying myself.
Yes, lovely, isn't it? In fact, I think my new favorite pre-dinner entertainment is finding my girlfriend naked in the loo with her ex-boyfriend.
Phillip, please.
I explained this to you.
And she wasn't naked.
She had her bra on.
I'm sorry.
I stand corrected.
Once again, I am the idiot and you are right.
Hey, don't be mad at Ben.
He was just trying to help.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
And you need to believe her.
Okay? You don't want to mess this thing up.
Trust me, I did, and I've never regretted anything so much in my entire life.
Is that true? It's so true.
But you don't still feel that way, do you? Yeah, of course I do.
I mean, sure I joke about us all the time, but I never got over what happened.
It was all my fault.
No no no.
We both messed up.
I still regret how I handled things.
- You do? - Yeah.
We both said and did a lot of stupid stuff, but I never meant to hurt you.
And I never meant to hurt you.
I'm so sorry.
Yeah, me too.
So, should we start with some appetizers? The crab cakes here are amazing.
Mmm.
Appeys.
Gary, this is your last chance for the trade.
No, I swear I will never ever call you back.
I will call you right back.
We need to talk.
Actually, you need to leave.
And on your way out, fire whoever let you in.
Okay, what we did was wrong, but you can't take it out on Danny.
He had nothing to do with it.
He is a talented player that any team in the league would be happy to have.
I actually agree with you.
He's not my problem.
His management is.
I'm his management.
Look.
You may not like me, but I have been managing his career since he was six and played in that men's league.
I made sure that he had the best equipment money could buy.
So I said good-bye to new boobs.
I got up every morning at 4:30 to make sure that he had three hot breakfasts before practice.
Danny and I are team Wheeler, and nothing can come between us.
Well, then I guess team Wheeler needs to find a new team.
And please tell Tucker to quit texting me, thank you.
What am I gonna do? I mean, I'm too tall to be an astronaut, and too afraid of horses to be a cowboy.
What about me? I sent a very private picture to Valerie, and I think it went to my mom instead.
Oh, what happened? You were in there forever.
All good.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, it was pretty touch-and-go there for a little while, but she did not know who she was dealing with.
All right? I made her see what an asset you are to this team and that they would be nothing without you.
Oh my God, thank you.
So the deal's done? Almost.
But I think I'm gonna let somebody else iron out the details.
What are you talking about? I'm talking about me.
I need a break.
Honey, you are a great hockey player, and I've been lucky enough to have gone on this ride.
But I think it's time I got off.
Wait, you're not gonna be my manager anymore? But I can't do this without you.
Oh, yes you can, Danny.
You need to grow up And I need to let you do it.
What about team Wheeler? I will always be on your team.
I'm your mother.
Well, how about we go get some victory libations.
Ah, word of the day? Nope.
I actually knew that one.
You did? Danny, good for you.
Well, here we are again.
You trying to convince me that there's nothing between you and Ben.
There isn't.
And I promise from this moment forward to be completely open and honest with you.
Then I suppose I only have one question.
Do you or do you not still have feelings for Ben? And I think I've got my answer.
No, wait.
Wait wait wait.
Wait wait.
Yes, I will always care for him.
I would be lying if I didn't admit that, but I don't want to be with him.
I want to be with you.
I wish that was enough for me.
But it's not.
Riley, you are an amazing girl, and if he ever does get you back, he is a lucky man.
I'm sorry, Riley.
Yeah, me too.
See? Make-up hug.
It's all good.
Huh? Okay, Emma.
Don't judge me.
Where was the last place you saw my phone? Knock knock.
I'm guessing that someone is looking for this? Oh my God, Riley, thank you.
You're a lifesaver.
I don't know what I'd do without you.
Oh, you'd figure it out.
People are doing it all over town.
Yeah.
Look, I'm really sorry about Phillip.
- No, you're not.
- I know.
It just seemed like the right thing to say.
It was.
I'll see you later, Ben.
She so likes me.