Bunk'd (2015) s03e16 Episode Script

1 I'm really gonna miss arts and crafts when camp is over.
Me too.
Check out this cool wallet I made last week.
But you don't have any money.
So, what's in there.
Bologna.
In some cultures, it's as good as money.
No.
It isn't.
And now I know why your piggy bank smells weird.
Okay.
I think we have enough stuff for our collages.
- Let's head back to camp.
- (SOFT WHIMPERS) (SIGHS) It's not that far, Matteo.
Quit whining! For once, it wasn't me! (SOFT WHIMPERS) (WHIMPERS) Whoa! What is that? It kind of looks like my cousin Jessup.
They're both really hairy and behind bars.
It reminds me of those cave paintings I saw of the Kikiwaka, but smaller.
So It must be a baby Kikiwaka! They really do exist! (WHIMPERING) Aw! We have to let him out.
Be careful! It could be dangerous! He's just a scared little baby.
- Here, boy.
It's okay.
- (WHIMPERS) Finn, give him some of your bologna.
No, this is going to help pay for college.
Trust me, you're not gonna need that.
- (WHIMPERS) - It's okay.
Here, boy.
Aw! He likes it.
What kind of monster would want to trap this cute little monster? DR.
BLACKBURN: Hurry up! And prepare to feast your eyes on the scientific discovery of the century! (GRUNTING) He's scared! We should hide! C'mon! We'll save you.
Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka Colleagues, lackeys, unpaid interns In this cage, I have finally captured a young Kikiwaka! Behold! Where'd it go? Go find it, or I'll cancel the Christmas party! We have to hide this little guy from that scientist! She's evil! I know! Who cancels a Christmas party? Hey, guys! I'd like to start the final meeting of the summer off with some good news.
Ravi lost all feeling in his hands, so he can't cook anymore? No, but I have burned my hands so many times, I no longer have finger prints.
Actually, the good news is that Camp Kikiwaka is no longer voted the worst place to visit in Maine! So we finally beat the used coffin store? Yes, but we're still behind the Museum of Sewage.
Well, not for long, because you guys are doing an amazing job with Camp Kikiwaka.
Thanks, Lou.
Although, since Gladys literally left the camp in ashes, the bar was pretty low.
Mom should be really proud of us.
The campers had a great time this summer.
And we came in under budget.
As long as five cabins can share this roll of toilet paper for the last week.
Meanwhile, I'm so excited about next summer.
I have a ton of great ideas for us to do with the campers.
Like taking a rafting trip down the Penobscot River! Oh, great.
Let's just make sure we raft upstream from the Museum of Sewage.
Oh, my gosh, Mom, thank you so much! Really, Dad! I can't wait! - Love you, bye! - Love you, bye! Zuri, I just got amazing news! - Me too! - Are we sharing good news? Because my Socks of the Week just arrived and the theme is fancy felines! My theme is disgusted sister.
Anyways, the good news is, is that Mom asked me to go to Milan next summer to model her new fashion line.
And Dad asked me to spend next summer interning in the finance department of his production company! - (BOTH SQUEALING) - I can't wait to be a fashion model! I can't wait to kick someone out of a corner office! Congratulations! Oh, congrats to you too, Ravi! That means next summer, you get to run the camp all by yourself.
So you'll get all the responsibility, do all the work, and still get a full one third of the profits.
- You're welcome.
- Uh, wait! I already told you both I am not coming back next summer.
Sad as I am to leave our beloved camp, I was accepted to the Oxford Science Fellowship.
This fellow is going to be a fellow.
What? You never told us about that.
Yes, I did! Many, many times.
Are you sure it was us? No, it was my other sisters.
Wait, you have other sisters? Then why don't you go bother them about this! (GRUNTING) Isn't he adorable? What he left on my bed wasn't so adorable.
It's not his fault.
His stomach just isn't used to month-old wallet bologna.
Three months old.
My grandma sent me that for my birthday.
(GRUNTS) Hey, that's my velociraptor from the Cretaceous Period! Well, now it's his chew toy.
I know how to keep him away from my stuff.
(GRUNTS) Ooh, that red dot is back! I'm gonna get it this time! (LAUGHS) Aw, it's gone again.
Okay, we can't let the adults know about the baby Kikiwaka, so we have to find a way to help him blend in.
(GRUNTS) (GASPS) I have an idea.
(ELECTRIC BUZZING) How's it going in there? Well, Ravi's razor finally got some use.
And now there's a hair ball in our sink the size of a schnauzer.
(SCREAMS) Now he's even cuter! Who's a good Kikiwaka? You are! Yes, you are! I'm gonna name you, Sir Cuddles McCutie-Pie.
(WHIMPERS) You can't give one of the most amazing scientific discoveries a name like that.
Yeah.
Let's name him after my toe Doug.
Ew, no! - Doug! Doug! - Doug, it is.
I just spoke to Mom and Dad.
Since none of us will be here next summer, - they're making us sell the camp.
- Oh, dear.
While I am excited for our new opportunities, it is going to be very sad to leave Camp Kikiwaka.
It's become like a second home.
Well, fifth, if you count the penthouse, the chalet, the château, and the island.
- Oh, wait, what about the yachts? - Okay, eighth.
But I'm still really going to miss everything about this place.
Especially Lou.
She's going to take it really hard when she finds out we will not be here with her next summer.
So be gentle with her when you break the news.
Good luck.
Whoa! Why do I have to do it? Because it's your fault we have to sell since you sprung that fellowship news on us.
I sprung nothing! I told you.
I emailed you! We even had a "Congratulations on your fellowship, Ravi" party! I still have the banner! Doesn't ring a bell.
Remember, Doug, stick close to us, because we're your friends.
Can you say friend? (MIMICS) Fed.
Friend.
(MIMICS) Fehd! I don't know if this is gonna work.
Hey, considering we tried for a month to teach Finn the word linoleum, I'd say we're doing pretty well.
(GRUNTS) Hey, I recognize those keys! That's the mean scientist lady who trapped Doug.
Hello, I am Dr.
Blackburn.
Normally, I don't like speaking to children, but Actually, there is no but, I just don't like it.
Nice to meet you? I found this wallet in the woods.
It has "Camp Kikiwaka" on one side, "Finn" on the other, and bologna in the middle.
Any idea who Finn is? - Nope! - Absolutely no idea! Ooh, my wallet! Oh, good.
All my bologna's here.
May I offer you a reward for bringing it back? No, thanks.
And you're odd.
Anyhoo I am looking for my lost Kikiwaka.
Have you seen it? - No! - Because they don't exist! And we're certainly not hiding one! Uh-huh.
What's that kid doing over there? (GRUNTS) Uh, nothing! It's just Bucket on Your Head Day! See? Whee! Fun! (CHUCKLES) Cute.
And why is that kid now eating a chair? The food around here is terrible.
Well, thanks for stopping by.
If we see anything, we'll let you know.
Please do.
I hope to hear from you soon Preferably by text.
Your squeaky, high voices freak me out.
Good boy! Fetch! - Go ahead, tell her.
- Stop pushing! Hello, Lou.
How is it going? There's a stupid rock under here, and it's really starting to tick me off! Did you need something? I just want to tell you that Emma has something to tell you.
- Now you go, tell her.
- Stop pushing.
Hey, Emma! What's up? Um, Lou? I need to talk to you.
Fun fact.
Did you know that a properly sharpened axe can cut right through human bone? No, and I'm kinda wondering how you know that.
Ouch! This thing is ready to do some damage! So, what did you want to talk to me about? Uh, the fact that Zuri wants to talk to you.
- Uh, Lou - (CHAINSAW BUZZING) Nope.
(BOTH GOBBLING) Finn! Doug is a feral animal raised in the woods.
What's your excuse? I don't see the problem! Although, to be fair, I don't see much of anything because I've got mashed potatoes in my eyes.
Guys, it's Ravi! Be cool.
- Hey, guys! - (GRUNTS) Finally, a camper who appreciates fine cuisine.
Do you detect the subtle hint of white truffle oil? - (GRUNTS) - I'll take that as a yes.
Okay, Lou has always wanted to go on a balloon ride, so this will be the perfect place to give her the bad news.
Yeah, there will be no distractions, - she'll be in a good mood - And there are no outlets to plug in her power tools.
Oh, my stars, a hot air balloon! How'd you know I always wanted to ride in one of these? Because every week in the suggestion box there are fifty notes saying, "Take Lou hot air ballooning".
I should've put another one in there that said, "Take suggestions faster".
Okay, remember to keep your arms and legs in the basket at all times.
And no spitting.
Aw, but I've been saving up this loogie all day! Well, if you have to let one fly, just make sure we're over Camp Champion.
RAVI: Okay, everyone.
Hold on! LOU: This is gonna be so fun.
This is the best day of my life! The air is so fresh up here, I just want to breathe it all in.
(CHOKING) (COUGHS) Swallowed a bug! Still the best day ever, though.
Okay.
She's in a good mood.
- Now is the time to drop the hammer.
- Okay.
Hey, Lou, so we've got something to tell you, but we really don't want you to get mad.
I'm in a hot air balloon with my besties.
There is nothing you could possibly say that would make me angry.
Okay.
So the truth is We Oh, for crying out loud! Lou, we're selling the camp.
So next year, you'll be plunging toilets and picking up dead raccoons all by yourself.
What? You're selling the camp? Why? Lou, we are so sorry, but we all got these once-in-a-lifetime opportunities - for next summer.
- And since we cannot be here, our parents said we have to sell the camp.
We didn't know how to tell you.
So that's why you brought me on this hot air balloon ride? To butter me up so I wouldn't be angry? - Did it work? - No! If you're gonna throw anybody over, I vote for Ravi! Why would I be mad at Ravi? He told me he was leaving.
We even had that big party for him.
See? Someone listens to me.
Lou, please try to understand I understand that you're abandoning me.
I am so disappointed in you.
- But we - I don't want to hear it.
I could really use some space right now.
MATTEO: I can't find Doug anywhere! He's not at the petting zoo because all the animals are still alive.
And he's not down by the lake! I thought I saw him, but it was just a dead beaver floating by! And he's not in the freezer! Why would he be in there? I don't know.
I just wanted some ice cream.
I can't believe we lost him! I told you we should've put a bell around his neck.
I did.
He ate it! Look! There's Doug's dinosaur.
He loves this thing.
He wouldn't just leave it lying around.
And, are those Dr.
Blackburn's keys? I think I know what happened.
Yeah.
Someone took Doug and Dr.
Blackburn! Or Dr.
Blackburn took Doug! - Or - Can it! We have to rescue Sir Cuddles McCutie-Pie! We agreed his name was Doug! Do you think Lou's going to be okay? Well, she probably just needs to go through the five stages of grief.
The first is denial.
I know what's going on here.
You guys are just pranking me.
The second is anger.
I am really angry at you guys! The third is fear.
My gosh! What if the new owners fire me? Next is bargaining.
If I work for free will you guys reconsider? And lastly, acceptance.
You know what? I just don't accept this! Well, everyone grieves in their own way.
Lou, can I please come over and talk to you for a second? I guess.
Look, you're my best friend in the whole world, and if leaving the camp's going to make you this upset then I'm not going to Milan.
And I will defer my fellowship for another year.
Great, so if you two are stuck here, I can go live my dreams! Okay, okay, I'll stay too.
I can't believe you guys would do that for me.
Of course, we would.
Plus, interning isn't necessarily my style.
I like to start a job with a hostile takeover.
As sad as I am that you guys might leave, I would be even sadder if I knew I was holding you back.
I really want you all to follow your dreams.
Lou, are you sure? Absolutely.
That is so sweet.
We love you so much.
Uh, guys, there's something I need to tell you.
If it's that you have to go to the bathroom, you're out of luck.
We rented this thing for three hours.
No, we are drifting off the coast and are heading out to sea! Then you might as well pee, because no matter what, you're gonna die with your pants wet! Guys, we're heading further out to sea! You know, the next time you wanna give me bad news, can you do it on the ground, maybe with a lollipop? - (THUDS) - (ALL GASP) - (BIRD SQUAWKING) - A bird smashed into the balloon! It put a hole in it! Stupid bird! We are falling! I'd like to add another stage of grief Freaking out! Well, at least we will all die together.
Everybody, hold on! Really? (ALL SCREAMING) Where could Doug be? If only that magic red dot would come back and show us the way.
(DOUG WHIMPERING) That sounds like Doug.
And he sounds scared! (DOUG WHIMPERING) Okay, I know it looks like a child, but I swear it's the Kikiwaka! Either way, I cannot wait to start poking it with needles! (WHIMPERS) Dr.
Blackburn is going to experiment on Doug? I'm gonna give her the biggest cargo-pants wedgie of all time! Guys, we are so lucky that fishing trawler came by and rescued us! I'm lucky that I learned twenty-six sea shanties! Oh, what do you do with a gassy sailor What do you do with a ga Lou, you still have that chainsaw handy? Look, guys, I know this day got off to a rocky start and a fishy finish, but I just want to say that I'm really happy for you guys.
And all that I ask is that when you do sell the camp, that you make sure the new owners love this place as much as we do.
Guys, are you thinking what I'm thinking? Yes.
A Ross family sea shanty trio! Oh, what do you do Wow.
And I thought the most embarrassing thing you'd do today would be wearing cat socks.
(SCOFFS) Meow! Hey, Dr.
Buttburn! It's Blackburn! And who told you about the Bunsen burner incident? You have two choices.
Let Doug go or keep him! Wait, that's not right.
You can keep this one if you want.
We won't let you hurt Doug.
He's our friend.
Fed! Fed! Zip it, mop-top! You kids are in big trouble! DESTINY: Uh-oh.
(GRUNTS) Way to go, Doug! (GRUNTS) Oh, please! You're outnumbered.
There's eight of us and four of you.
Oh, man, now she's using math! She really is evil! Playtime's over, campers.
(GROWLING) I think it's over for you.
- (GROWLING) - (ALL CLAMORING) Yikes.
Whoa, that must be Doug's mom! Or dad.
It's hard to tell with all that fur.
- (GROWLING) - Hello.
Uh, look, the reason I trapped your son in a cage is because There's really no good way to end that sentence.
(GROWLING) Thanks for saving us, Mrs.
Doug! I'm so glad you're safe.
(WHIMPERS) They won't be for long.
Now that Dr.
Blackburn knows Kikiwakas exist, she's going to come back with more people.
- But - Destiny, Doug and his mom will never be safe in these woods.
They need to get as far away from here as possible.
I guess you guys are right.
Take care of yourself, Doug.
Be a good boy.
(GRUNTS) Bye, Doug.
I'm really gonna miss you.
Me too.
Although, I'm not going to miss what you left on my bed.
Here's your favorite toy, Doug.
You should keep it.
That way you'll always remember us.
Friends? ALL: Friends.
Hey, guys! So we had a crazy day today.
Did y'all do anything fun? - Nope.
- Nothing at all.
We shaved a Kikiwaka! Everybody, I have an announcement! I just spoke to Mom and Dad, and they agree with me, Ravi, and Zuri about who we should sell Camp Kikiwaka to.
Is it Scott Eastwood? 'Cause I would be good with that! Actually, it's you, Lou.
Me? Really? Of course.
There's no one who loves this camp more, so you deserve it.
Thanks, guys.
But I can't afford to buy Camp Kikiwaka.
Of course you can, 'cause Mom and Dad set the sale price at one dollar.
Really? Done deal.
Just one more thing, can I borrow a dollar? (ALL CHUCKLING) Thanks, guys.
Speaking of thanks, since Emma, Ravi, and Zuri are leaving, there's something I'd like to say to them.
When I first came to camp, I saw everything as a competition, but after spending the summer here I realized friendship is more important than winning.
I want to say something too.
Good luck beating that speech.
Thanks for helping me get over my fear of public speaking.
That's all.
(SPEAKING PORTUGUESE) Sorry, I speak Portuguese when I get emotional.
Thanks, guys.
And we just want to say that being at Camp Kikiwaka has been the greatest privilege of our lives.
And we'll always cherish our time here.
I cannot imagine a better way to have spent my last three summers.
Camp Kikiwaka has made me the man you see before you.
A friend to all, a mentor to some, and barely afraid of birds anymore.
I'm really gonna miss you guys.
Especially you, bestie.
You're not going to miss me because we'll always be a part of each others' lives.
You got that right.
So, what are your plans for the camp, Miss New Owner? Well, with your guys' permission, I'd really like to turn it into a camp for underprivileged kids.
I think that is an amazing idea! - Me too.
- Me three.
And now, poor Timmy can finally come to camp.
Yeah, I wonder whatever happened to him? - (GRUNTING) - Hi.
My name is Timmy.
What's yours? (GRUNTING) Doug.
I've given up on ever getting into Camp Kikiwaka.
Do you guys wanna be friends? Friend.
Thanks.