Family Ties (1982) s03e16 Episode Script

## I'll bet We've been together ## ## For a million years ## ## And I'll bet We'll be together ## ## For a million more ## ## Ooh, it's like I started breathin' ## ## On the night we kissed ## ## And I can't remember What I ever did before ## ## What would we do, baby ## ## Without us? ## ## What would we do, baby ## ## Without us? ## ## And there ain't No nothin' ## ## We can't love Each other through ## ## Ooh-hoo ## ## What would we do, baby ## ## Without us? ## ## Sha-la-la-la ## Hi, how you doing, Alex? Ooh! That's gross.
I'm sorry, Jennifer.
Next time I'll go in the garage, okay? Mom, what's for dinner? Soy meal and hearts-of-palm casserole.
Again? I'm glad we only have three meals a day.
Alex, you promised to go in the garage.
Honey, you've got a fever.
You should take some aspirin and go right to bed after dinner.
No, no.
It's just a cold, Mom.
Anyway, I can't go to bed early.
Gotta hand in my term paper on the Declaration of Independence tomorrow.
I'm gonna be up all night working on this.
Alex, you're sick.
I'm sure your professor will understand if you turn it in late.
Yeah, Mom can write your teacher a note like she does for me.
A note.
This is not a book report onOur Friend the Policeman.
It wasOur Friend the Fireman, and I got an A on it.
I can't believe Skippy.
He just called me up and asked me if I wanted to go to the Van Halen concert with him on Sunday.
What'd you say? I asked him if he'd sell me the tickets so I could go with a normal guy.
Perfect.
Alex, what's all that stuff? This "stuff," Mallory, as you so eloquently refer to these items, are two great treasures of American history.
This is the famous John Trumbull painting of the signing of the Declaration of Independence, and this, Mallory This is the Declaration of Independence.
How'dyouget it? This is not the original, Mallory.
Hey, hon! Hi! I'm glad you're home.
Mmm.
Elyse, Alex, you remember Ed Nelson, PBS in Washington.
Right.
Good to see you.
Hi.
Hi.
Alex, talk to your dad.
Maybe you'll have more luck than I did in convincing him to come to Washington tomorrow morning.
Ed, come on.
We've been over this.
What's going on? There's some important congressional hearings tomorrow involving funding for public broadcasting, and, uh, we need your husband to testify.
In front of Congress? Dad, theCongress? Ed, I am flattered by the offer, but I told you, there are a lot of important things going on here tomorrow, and I just can't get away.
Right, Elyse? What's going on tomorrow that's so important? Heh.
That haircut appointment.
Oh, Steven.
Come on, Dad, you can't pass this up.
I mean, this is big.
Destiny is calling you.
See? Oh, hey, Alex.
Oh, hi, Dad.
I just came to get some juice for your mother.
She couldn't sleep.
How come? The baby kicking? No, I was.
I've been tossing and turning.
This Washington thing, it's really been on my mind.
Look, Dad, come on.
It'll be great.
All right, okay, picture it.
You're in the conference room.
It's jammed with reporters, okay? Hanging on your every word.
Flashbulbs popping all over.
The, uh, chairman bangs his gavel.
"Ha, ha!" you laugh defiantly, refusing to be silenced.
Slow down! Alex, there are other station managers who are experienced at this sort of thing.
I'm just not in their league.
Dad, look.
A- at the Continental Congress in 1776, Thomas Jefferson was a young guy.
An unknown face in the crowd, a complete nobody, just like you.
And, uh, when John Adams asked him to write the Declaration of Independence, he must've been a little overwhelmed, just like you are.
But he said yes.
Thomas Jefferson was a great man, Alex.
I'm not a great man, I'm Steven Keaton.
Dad, Thomas Jefferson wasn't Thomas Jefferson until he was Thomas Jefferson.
You know? He didn't know he was gonna be Thomas Jefferson.
I mean, one day he was Thomas Jefferson, and the next day, he was I know.
Thomas Jefferson.
Yeah! Look.
Great events make great men.
Thomas Jefferson say that? Uh, no.
Idid.
Heh.
See, Dad, if If Thomas Jefferson had given in to his fears, if he hadn't written the Declaration of Independence, they would've got somebody else.
Somebody less brilliant.
Somebody less eloquent.
Yeah, and without this masterpiece, Dad, the revolution might never have succeeded.
Hediddo a nice job on it.
Yeah, Dad.
You see, it was Jefferson's destiny to write the Declaration of Independence.
Just like it's your destiny to go to Washington and testify.
How do you know so much about people's destiny? That'smydestiny.
Alex, I appreciate what you're saying.
I I really do.
But I'm just gonna have to go with my instincts on this one.
I'm not going to testify.
Dad No.
I'll see you in the morning, son.
Yeah.
Try to get some sleep.
Alex.
Come on, Alex, wake up.
We got a lot of work to do.
What? What? We gotta clean up in here, and then we gotta go clean the stable.
Stable? Stable? What are you talking about? Skippy? Skippy, what's going on? Aah! Why? Why am I wearing these clothes? If you weren't, you'd be naked.
Uh Uh, Skippy, w- what date is it? It's July 3rd.
July 3rd, what? It's July 3rd, sir.
No, Skippy, wha? What year is it? Skip Oh.
It's 1776.
Whoa.
I'm not used to it, either.
You know, I'm still writing 1775 on my checks.
Good day, Mr.
Jefferson, sir.
Hello, Skipford.
Oh, young boy Stable boy.
Uh, me? I just saw my horse tied to the post outside.
Now, I've asked you numerous times to please put him inside the stable when it rains.
The rain can damage his coat.
Oh, Thomas, I'm glad you're still here.
Oh, hello, John.
Good evening, Mr.
Adams, sir.
Thomas, I just did some informal polling of the other delegates, and I think the vote tomorrow is going to go our way.
Independence from England! It'll be quite a day, John.
Yes, it will.
And the delegates also agree that you're the man to write the document which officially declares our independence from the king.
Will you do it? Skippy, pay attention.
You are about to witness one of the greatest moments in the history of mankind.
Never mind that.
Betsy Ross' window shade is up.
I am very honored to be asked to write this declaration, John, but my answer is no.
Oh, come now, Thomas.
You're the finest writer amongst us and the most eloquent of thought, I daresay.
Why, just the other day, you impressed us all so much with your talk about the natural rights of man, about liberty and self-government.
That? That was nothing, John.
I'd had a few glasses of ale, that's all.
Come now, Thomas.
This is no time for false modesty.
I'm not being modest.
I just have a lot to do tonight.
I'm having my wig fluffed.
What about John Hancock? He's very good.
He writes in those nice big letters.
Very easy to read.
If you don't change your mind by morning, I'll ask him.
Well, I think he's your man.
Come on, John.
I'll walk you to your horse.
Wait Skippy.
Thomas Jefferson isn't gonna write the Declaration of Independence.
Let's get busy.
Skippy, lookit, you don't understand.
Without Jefferson's brilliance in that document, the revolution against England will fail.
So what? I like England.
No, look.
Skippy, uh I gotta do something.
Uh, do you know where Jefferson lives? I live next door to the Jeffersons.
All right.
Take me there.
No.
Uh-uh, Alex.
Don't get me involved in this.
I'm in enough trouble already for cracking that stupid bell.
Look, Skippy the history of the nation, perhaps of mankind, depends on what we do in the next couple of hours.
Oh, great.
Oh, hello there, Mrs.
Jefferson.
Skipford.
Wipe your feet.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Uh This This is my friend Alex.
He works with me down at the statehouse.
He'd like to talk to Mr.
Jefferson.
Alex.
What a nice name.
Well, my husband's upstairs.
Won't you come in and wait? Yeah.
Ooh.
Young man, you're not well.
You should have yourself leeched.
Say there, Mallory.
I happen to have a couple of tickets to the turkey shoot this Sunday.
Are you interested? This very cute minuteman asked me today.
Oh, yeah? Well, this guy may be a minuteman, Mallory, but But someday you'll see.
I'm gonna be an indentured servant.
Ha! Mother, what's for dinner? Uh, turtle and flummery pie.
Again? Good thing we only eat thrice a day.
Let's eat! Tom, dinner's ready! And you have company! Honey, I can't find my dressy britches! They're right where you left them! Next to your cannonball! Honey, I can't wear these.
There's a big Yorkshire pudding stain all over the front What are you doing here? I really must speak to you, sir.
It's very important.
Can't it wait until tomorrow? Dinner's ready, and I hate cold turtle and flummery pie.
Uh, no.
No, sir, it can't.
Uh listen, you have to write the Declaration of Independence.
I mean, only you can make it bold enough and And thought-provoking enough to convince the nation that the revolution is a just cause.
Oh.
And how does a stable boy such as yourself come to know so much of these matters? I'm a history buff.
Uh, sir, look.
I I know what you're thinking.
Uh it's only natural that you'd be overwhelmed by this.
I am not overwhelmed! I just have a lot to do.
A good wig-fluffing takes time.
Destiny is calling you.
Answer the call.
You are a great man.
I am not a great man.
I'm just a farmer from Virginia.
I'm just Thomas Jefferson.
What have I ever done that was great? Well, for one thing, you, uh You got your picture on the $2 bill.
Uh, you see this will be the first thing.
Uh, don't you get it? Great events make great men.
Ah.
Who said that? I did.
Well, I haven't yet, but I I will.
Uh Mr.
Jefferson, take my word for it.
This is a big career move for you.
Tom! Your dinner is on the table.
I'm going to be skipping dinner, Martha.
But you love turtle and flummery pie.
Not every night, dear.
Uh, and that That's not the reason.
I I have some work to do.
I'm gonna take a crack at this independence thing.
Uh, declaration.
Declaration of Independence.
I guess you just have to get these silly things out of your system.
All right! All right, young man, you've convinced me.
Now, be on your way so I can get to work.
Oh, sir, please.
Can't I Can't I just watch you? I mean, uh, you know, it'd mean a lot for me to see this.
I mean, more than you could even imagine.
You want to watch me write? Yes, sir, and And I'll be real quiet.
I, uh, won't say a word.
Very well.
Very well.
Thank you.
Uh, whoa Uh, wait a minute.
Uh, one minute.
I just, uh I just think you should use this yellow crinkly kind.
Itisneat-looking.
Yeah.
Uh Uh, sorry.
Just seeing how it's going.
Coming along fine, thank you.
Good.
We hold these truths to be Self-evident.
Self-evident.
We hold these truths to be Self-evident.
Self-evident.
Damn! What? Come on.
What's the matter? I am stuck on this one phrase.
We have the right to govern ourselves in order to protect our most fundamental human rights.
The existence of these rights is so obvious as to not require any further justification.
How do I say that? Uh, may I make a suggestion? No.
We hold these truths to be pretty darn clear.
No, that's no good.
Uh, we hold these truths to be obvious, even to a big dope.
Oh, no, no.
This is so frustrating.
These truths are self-evident.
How do I say that? Just like that.
Just, uh Just, uh Like that.
Like, "We hold these truths to be self-evident.
" Well, I'll put that down for now.
Otherwise, we'll be here all night.
"That they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights.
" I should probably list a few.
And among these are life, liberty Uh Life, liberty and Maybe just life and liberty.
Uh, no.
Uh No.
No.
Sir, it can't be just life and liberty.
It's gotta be: Life, liberty and the of The what of what? It'll come to you.
"And for the support of this declaration, "with a firm reliance on the protection "of divine providence, "we mutually pledge to each other our lives, "our fortunes and our sacred honor.
" Well, gentlemen, what do you think? Bravo! Splendid, Thomas.
A brilliant piece of work.
And I like the crinkly yellow paper.
Okay.
Let's sign this baby and ship it off to England.
Now, gentlemen, settle down.
Settle down! Let's do this in an orderly fashion.
I'll sign first.
Oh.
He always does.
John Hancock.
Okay, who's next? I'll sign Hey! Come on, John! You took up practically the whole page! Well, they, uh They seem to like it.
Why shouldn't they? It's one of the finest things ever written.
You know, young man, when I think that the future of this nation we're creating today will be in the hands of young people like yourself, it makes me very proud.
Well, I'm, uh, proud to have someone like you to set the standard uh, Mr.
Jefferson.
Thank you, lad for everything.
Hey, come on! Quit shoving! Thomas Jefferson wrote this thing.
He should be signing it.
Tom! Would you get over here and put your John Hancock on this thing? Come on, Mom.
You said if it wasn't raining today, I could drive the car.
You did, Mom.
I remember.
Now, listen, both of you.
Alex.
You've been down here all night? No.
No.
I I was at, uh I had to go to, uh Philadelphia.
Um, you were there.
What? You were You were all there.
Uh, Jennifer, you didn't wanna eat the turtle and flummery pie.
What? And, M Uh, Mallory, you had a date with a minuteman.
What? And Mom.
Uh, Mom, you wanted to leech me.
Good morning, everybody.
Skippy.
Skippy! Skippy, you cracked the Liberty Bell.
I'm sorry.
I- I swear! I'm sorry! I hardly touched it! I just I just sort of Wait a minute.
I did not.
Are you all right? I'm fi I'm fine.
I'm fine, but, uh, it happened.
I was there.
Oh.
Good morning, Ed.
Good morning.
Uh, Steven will be right down.
That's John Adams.
What? It happened, Mom.
I changed his mind.
Steve, any change of heart? Yes, Ed.
I've decided to come with you to Washington.
Great! That's wonderful, Steven, but la Last night you were so set in your decision.
Well, let's just say I, uh, changed my mind.
Thank you, lad, for everything.
You're welcome.
Boy.
This is weird.
Ed, if you can wait for a few minutes, I'll go finish my packing.
Sure thing.
Oh, Alex.
Yeah, Dad? If it rains again tonight, don't forget to put my car in the stable.
Right.
Uh! Dad, wait a minute.
What did you just say? I said don't forget to put my car in the garage.
Garage.
Right.