iCarly s03e16 Episode Script

Duh.
What's the temperature outside now? Try to make it cooler in here.
That's probably what you were doing.
Uh-huh.
Stupid heat wave.
Augh, it's so hot out there.
Wouldja turn on the air conditioning? It's on full blast.
Well, it's not enough.
I'm too hot.
Ahhh.
What are you doing? She's either cooling herself or eating your frozen pizzas.
Get outta there.
Oh, my God.
You are eating my frozen pizza.
Now, it's a 104 degrees outside.
Augh.
What's that thing? My utopian city of the future: My project.
For mister Henning's class? The assignment he gave us? So, what is it I'm supposed to do which we all know I'm not gonna? Your assignment is to build a model of a perfect city, a city of the future that is efficient, and promotes good, old fashioned community values.
Lemme see that.
My pits are moist.
No, thanks.
Hey, hey people, lookie lookie what I got.
Whatcha got? It's a Norwegian air conditioner.
Socko says it's insanely powerful.
Well, fire it up.
Hurry.
Yeah, I'm sweatin' like a meatloaf here.
Come on, plug it in.
Okay, let's see here.
Ahhh, yeah baby.
Oh, yeah.
So now we just stand here like this all day? Nah.
It came with a big box of long yellow flex tubes, which I can attach to these and then run the cool air all throughout the apartment.
Nice.
Tubos yellos.
This air is so great.
The best.
It's life changing.
I know.
Now, I don't need this bag of ice in my pants.
In five, four, three, two I know, you see somehow the world will change for me and be so wonderful live life, breathe air I know somehow we're gonna get there and feel so wonderful it's all for real I'm telling you just how I feel so wake up the members of my nation it's your time to be there's no chance unless you take one and the time to see the brighter side of every situation some things are meant to be so give it your best and leave the rest to me How hot is it outside now? Not a problem for us.
Nope.
'Cause we got us a Norwegian air conditioner.
I love it.
I swear, I wanna fly to Norwegia and thank everyone there personally.
That Gibby? Nah, Sabrina.
Ooooooo.
Who's Sabrina? Just Gibby's cousin.
Who's that girl that Freddie's in love with.
I barely know her.
You said you guys have been video chatting every night.
I've never met her in person.
Lucky her.
Whoa.
She says it's over 90 degrees in her house.
Poor sweaty chick.
Hey, why don't you invite her over here? Really? I can? Sure.
Okay, cool.
Better tell her to bring a blindfold.
A blindfold? So she won't look at you and burst into flames and/or tears.
Owww, Carly, come rub my neck.
I gotta finish my project.
Freddie, come rub my neck.
Yeah, that'll happen.
Done.
My room, and now our whole apartment is a cool 71 degrees.
Ugh, why won't my little man stick to the sidewalk? Hey, remember the time I got stuck to the sidewalk? And that panda bear started-- wait, that was a dream.
Hey, will somebody bring me a--? What happened? Power went out.
What? Yeah, it happens on crazy hot days like this when everyone in the whole city's using their air conditioners full blast.
But what about our Norwegian air-conditioner? It's not gonna work without electricity.
Wait, didn't you buy a portable generator last year for some sculpture you were working on? Oh yeah, my electric lady.
Go, get it.
I'll go get it.
Man, it's already gettin' hot in here again.
I know.
My pits are gettin' moister.
Please don't smell your fingers.
You know I have to.
No, just c'mon, don't-- ohhhhh.
Open this door.
Coming.
Oh, hi, Mrs.
Benson.
Freddie, are you all right? Yeah, why wouldn't I be? The power's out.
Are you injured? No.
Why are you wearing your building watch vest? Because dummy, we're in the middle of an emergency.
This is the hottest day in Seattle in over 20 years, and we're having a power blackout.
Did you just call me a dummy? I got it.
Unguento.
Oh, yeah.
What is that item? It is a 15-kilowatt liquid propane generator with a 993 cc proguard Yeah, I said all that.
Augh, it's getting so hot in here.
Yeah, will you turn that thing on before my pits start growin' mushrooms? Okay, here we go.
Freddie, hit it.
Ahhh ahhh.
Ahhh.
Woo-hoo.
We are now the only apartment in Seattle that has power and air conditioning.
Oh my, this cool air is nice.
Maybe, I'll hang out here with you all.
Ohhh ummm mom I'll go get a puzzle.
Hello, Lewbert.
Marissa-- I was just-- I suppose you're gonna just gonna.
Yeah.
Right.
What are you doing here? My job.
In the event of a power outage, I gotta check on everyone in the-- hey, how come you guys got power? 'Cause Spencer has a generator.
And a Norwegian air conditioner.
Well, you're not allowed to use those devices in your apartment.
Oh, come on, just let us use 'em.
Dude.
Welllll, I suppose I could let it slide if you let me hang out here in the nice cool air.
Fine, you can hang here.
Hot biscuits, ahhhhh.
Ahh, what's that big sore on your foot? I dunno, but it never heals.
Augh, I can't stand being down there with Lewbert and his giant footsore.
Why was he putting yogurt on it? Maybe the yogurt keeps it from festering or something.
All right, let's not focus on Lewbert's wound.
Let's be happy we have electricity and air conditioning, and just get ready for the Web show tonight.
Spencer.
Hey, what's up? Really? Yeah, send her up.
Sabrina's here.
She's comin' upstairs.
This is gonna be goooood.
Sam, swear you'll be nice.
Oh, I'll swear.
Sam Sam I'll be nice.
How do I look? Good.
Stupid.
Freddie? Oh, hi-iii.
She's very tall.
Wow.
It's weird not seeing you in a little window on a computer screen.
It's great to finally see all of you.
Heh And that's all there is.
Right in here, everyone.
Mrs.
Benson.
Here we go, come along.
My children never call me.
I'm so sorry.
Right in here Who are these people? The elderly.
They all live in this building.
But why are you bringing them in here? Every apartment is nearly a 100 degrees inside.
Yours is the only one with air conditioning.
But why can't they go somewhere? When temperatures get too high, the elderly will start to die.
Wow, that's a creepy rhyme.
Whoa, what up with the antique parade? Who are all these people? They live in this building.
Mrs.
Benson says they need to be kept cool or-- hey, sir.
No, no, no, no, no there.
Huh, mister man, please don't touch my utopian society.
What? I've worked very, very hard on this project for school.
So please don't bother it.
I have angina.
You have what? Um, angina means chest pains.
Oh, good.
Well, not for you.
Hey, hey.
Move.
Augh.
Chuck.
Hi, Spencer.
It's almost a 100 degrees at our place.
Could we--? Noooooooo.
No, no.
Noooooooo.
C'mon, I know that you and Chuck have had some troubles in the-- troubles? He's beaten me and sprayed me and slapped me and violated me.
I was just a kid then.
C'mon, man.
No.
You guys are just gonna have to go find somewhere else to-- hey, none of the movie theaters have power.
Ohh, are we gonna hang out here? No, Spencer says-- wait, wait.
Who are you? I'm Gia.
My daughter.
And you're Chuck's sister? Uh-huh.
Chuck, there are cupcakes in the kitchen.
Mister chambers, why don't you and Gia come in and enjoy the cool air.
Sure.
Thanks.
Hey, you.
Can I have a turn at that? Sure.
Thank you.
Eh, after you massage my neck.
Yeeeeaaaahhhh.
Get it good, old man.
So after my mom retired from professional basketball, my whole family moved to Seattle 'cause my dad got a job.
Uh, Sabrina.
Yeah? Would you, um, sit down and finish your story? Oh.
There.
Do you wanna sit too? Nope.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
We do not set glasses on my school project.
A utopian society is not a coaster.
I went to law school for a little while, but I just knew that being an artist was the-- ahhh! What was that? Just wait here.
Look, Chuck.
I know you threw this.
So? You want me to leave? And take my hot sister with me? Thank you for the cupcake.
No worries, it was my fault for stepping in front of that cupcake.
So what were we--? And I'm getting the door.
Oh, hey.
Hi, Spencer.
Marty Klemish, apartment seven-c.
Right, right.
I wanted to return this whisk I borrowed from you.
I don't remember you borrowing a-- why don't I come inside? Oh, wait.
But I don't-- wait, Marty.
Hello, Spencer.
Oh, hi, doctor Dresdin.
Look, I know your apartment is-- how are your allergies? Allergies? They're gone.
Don't you remember the pills you gave? I better stay for a while, just to be sure.
Wait, I don't need you to stay.
What's a whisk? Hey, there's way too many people.
I know.
What do you want me to do? Augh.
Don't let anyone else in.
I won't.
Look, we already have way too many people in here.
So, I can't-- everybody, if you could-- good job.
This is really getting outta control.
I know.
There's like 50 people here.
Okay, we gotta do something.
People, everyone.
Okay, I realize that this is the only air conditioned apartment in Seattle right now, but there's just too many people here.
So, I'm gonna have to ask at least No, wait.
No, please--wooja, wooja-- I blame myself.
Oh, hey.
Oh.
Hi, Griffin.
Ah, could we talk for a sec? Uh, sure.
Freddie, keep an eye on my utopian society.
No worries.
So, I hear your place has air conditioning.
Yeah, half the building's in there.
I guess that's why you're here, for cool air? Kinda.
Uh-huh.
But not for me.
I brought my pee-wee babies.
Oh, my God.
Look, they're really valuable, and if they get too hot or too cold, I mean, they could become misshapen.
Misshapen.
Yeah, so, can I keep 'em here until we get the power back? Okay, tell you what.
Tell me.
I gotta do iCarly pretty soon with Sam and Freddie, and I have the school project in there that needs protection from all the people, and Spencer's busy, so he Don't kiss me.
I'm sorry.
If I let you take your pee-wee babies in there, will you guard my project? Done deal.
Okay.
My project's on the kitchen table.
Right behind ya.
Yeah, we gotta start iCarly in about a half hour.
So, if you want-- ooo, can I watch you guys do the show? Sure, if you wanna.
Hey, I brought you guys drinks.
Awww, that's sweet.
What is this? Just a little drink I learned how to make at camp Addemup.
If you don't like it, I can take my sister and leave.
No, no, no, no, no.
I like it, I like it.
Look over there.
Do you like soccer? Awww, there are people up here too? Hey, hey, hey, hey, you guys can't be up here.
Relax, Benson.
Move outta the way.
Sup, girls, little boy? What are you doing? Gettin' massaged.
I'm giving people one minute of cool air for 10 minutes of neck rubbin'.
I don't think it's a fair ratio.
Dude, we have to prep for the show.
I know what we have to-- hey.
Hey, what happened to my cold air? My cold air stopped too.
Easy, angina.
Okay, let's go downstairs and check the air conditioner.
Did I say to quit massaging? But how do I, uh--? Walk 'n rub, just walk and rub.
Hey, Spencer.
Is something wrong with the air conditioner? Griffin, what's going on? I swapped out some of the air tubes to keep my pee-wee babies chilled.
Where's my utopian society? I put it on the floor over there.
The floor? What if someone steps on it? This place is full of elderlies.
I'm watching it.
And I think my pee-wee babies are a little more important than your fallopian city.
Dude, you need to quit obsessing over your dumb little play-pretties.
Oh, ho, ho.
Peter.
Ah.
Sir, ya gotta get up.
You get up.
I am up.
Hey, hey, hey.
Dude.
Oh, c'mon man, you're sittin' on my penguin.
You sit on it, potsie.
You're taking the last fruit bar? Yep.
Well, maybe I want it.
Yeah, I'm a doctor.
Gimme that fruit bar.
Okay.
I need that fruit bar.
What'd I do that was so bad? Just tell me.
My son fell down the stairs and hurt himself, and all you cared about was our dinner reservation.
We coulda got married and had a better son.
Ahh.
Ahhh, aah, aah.
Ya popped my wart.
Grow a new one.
You've got so-- hey, where's my sister? Bathroom.
What are you doing with my magazine? Just readin' it.
Hey, there's a bug on your zipper.
A bug? I'll get it.
Oof, aaaah.
Freddie, help me up on this thing.
Sure.
Augh.
Just lift me.
I'm trying.
You're embarrassing me.
Gimme that bag, and a yellow tube.
Listen, everyone.
I'll be the first to admit that Spencer and I weren't too psyched about having so many of you here in our apartment.
But maybe it's not such a bad thing.
I'm pretty sure it's a bad thing.
We're all neighbors, and I bet most of us don't even know each other's first names.
Isn't that sad? Y'see that big thing on the floor there? That's a model of a utopian society.
My teacher wanted me to build it to show how in America, we can have cities that are modern, but old fashioned at the same time.
The kind of America our grandparents lived in, where people knew their neighbors and cared about them.
But here we all are-- --Together as neighbors.
Shouldn't we be using this as a chance to make friends, to start really getting to know each other, and--? The power's back on.
Yeah.
Carly Just get me down.
Hey, where's your bathroom? Through there to the left.
Thanks.
Hey, I'm gonna have some iced tea.
You want some? Sure, that'd be great.
I think your speech was real nice.
Whatever.
Hey, you guys wanna go grab some dinner? Can't.
We gotta do iCarly.
Oh, yeah.
And then, Freddie's gonna get a ladder, climb up it, and try to kiss his new girlie friend.
Sam She's just kinda tall.
It's not like she's some gigantic monster.
Shhhh.
Hey, you want some lemon in your tea? Uh, sure.
Ow.
Noooooooooo.
And now I have angina.