Lucifer (2016) s03e16 Episode Script
Infernal Guinea Pig
1 Previously, on Lucifer My dad screwed us both.
But perhaps there's a way - for us to screw him back.
- How? By killing you.
- Amenadiel's nice.
- If he were nice, he wouldn't be sneaking around behind my back with my friend, and lying about it.
You know, don't you? You're the ones who have been lying to me about this fling for weeks.
I'd like to try and help.
You don't have to treat me.
I think I do.
For both of us.
LUCIFER: In my quest to help you die, I've done some research.
I've read every book, I've analyzed every language.
LUCIFER: I'm completely out of ideas.
We can't rewrite history.
Detective, you're a genius.
You've just given me my idea.
LUCIFER: Once upon a time, there were two brothers Kane and Abel.
They fought, as brothers often do, over everything.
What's that supposed to be? Are we shaking hands or holding spiders? [CHUCKLES.]
That's you and your brother pummeling each other over a pet rock.
And here's you two scamps tugging on both ends of a snake.
That's not how it happened.
Well, artistic license, my friend.
The point is that you were always at each other's throats.
Until [SNIFFS.]
you fought to the death.
You killed Abel and became the world's first murderer.
Now, the part where my father marks you, cursing you to walk the earth for eternity, - it's tricky to draw.
- Now, um, I've heard this one before The ending sucks.
My point exactly.
We all know how your story ends.
But what if we change how it begins? What if you never killed Abel? What if we did this? Clean slate.
That's impossible.
How would we do that? Oh, simple.
I shall fly down to Hell, pluck your brother's soul, and drop it into a vacant body.
This would make Abel technically alive, and therefore not murdered, and you innocent.
Wait, back up.
My brother is in Hell? Yes, of course.
In fact, he's our oldest tenant.
I knew it.
Do you know how many times I've tried to tell people Abel is the asshat? No one ever believes me.
Right, can we just focus on my genius plan? If we bring Abel back to life, that would erase your crime.
No crime, no mark, no curse.
You'd be mortal and can finally die.
PIERCE: This one's good.
Oh, this one's even better.
Yeah, a bit past its sell-by date, I'm afraid.
Wait till Abel wakes up in this body.
I never thought I'd say this, but slow down, Lieutenant.
Time to lay down some soul-dropping rules, or what I think the rules are, at least.
You have done this before, right? Not exactly, but based on a sample size of, uh, one crooked cop and one goddess, I can only drop a soul into someone who's recently died.
How recent? The instant after death.
So we need a fresh one.
How are we gonna find that? Hey, guys? There's been an explosion at a high-rise downtown.
There's one dead at the scene, one on the way to the ICU.
Oh, that's promising.
- Excuse me? - He means that's a promising chance to question the witness at the hospital.
Mm.
Yes, where loads of people are on the brink of death.
So you want to question someone who's unconscious and in critical condition? The witness may recover, have some intel.
- Can't hurt to check.
- Hmm.
Okay, we'll work the crime scene.
Lucifer, you coming? Lucifer's coming with me this time.
Shall we? Such a pretty face Straight teeth Look baby, now you playing in a different league DAN: Bomb squad did their threat report.
Ruled it as a homicide, handed it off to us.
Looks like the bomb came by messenger.
And, uh, an assistant opened the package, triggering the bomb.
Huh.
Is that the messenger? Yep.
Rest in peace, dude.
We tried to track who sent it, but they covered their tracks.
One thing we do know is that the assistant wasn't the target.
Package was addressed to her boss.
Producer Alexa Lee, she just came in, she's pretty shook up.
All right.
Let's go talk to her.
Where were you when the blast occurred? At home.
My Tuesday session with Paolo, my Pilates trainer.
You have any idea who'd want to hurt you? Any past enemies, grudges, anything like that? How much time you got? [SCOFFS.]
Come on, this is Hollywood.
I get way more hate mail than fan mail.
Did any one threat stand out at all? Uh, my assistant will know.
Bree Garland.
She deals with all my mail and oh, my God, did Bree open the box? She's in the ICU.
But we haven't heard word yet.
Oh, no.
It should have been me.
Poor Bree.
LUCIFER: Bree Garland? - She won't do at all.
- Why not? Well, how much do you hate your brother on a scale of one to ten? One thousand, infinity plus one.
Right, well, if we pop Abel into a body this young, you could be stuck with him for another 70 years.
That's a lot of quality time.
Copy, not her.
[SIGHS.]
No, what we need is someone ancient, someone at death's door.
- [HEART RATE MONITOR FLATLINING.]
- Someone [CLEARS THROAT.]
PIERCE: "Do not resuscitate.
97 years old, no next of kin.
" Perfect.
Yes, we'll put Abel in this old coot.
[GIGGLES.]
He gets a second chance at life and you get your chance at death.
Let's do this.
Right.
Enjoy the show, Dad.
[WINGS WHOOSH.]
[HEART RATE MONITOR FLATLINING.]
- [WIND WHOOSHES.]
- [FEET THUD.]
Right.
[HEART RATE MONITOR BEATS RHYTHMICALLY.]
[SIGHS.]
Any second now.
Any second.
You sure you did this right? Well, I know I grabbed Abel down below.
- PIERCE: Did you put him in the right place? - LUCIFER: Probably.
PIERCE: What do you mean, "probably"? LUCIFER: Well, like I said, I'm new to this.
But where else would I have dropped him? - Did you screw this up? - I don't know.
I mean, it's not like there's an instruction manual.
Lucifer.
Where did she go? Hmm? Oh.
Okay, I see what's happened here.
It appears I may have misplaced your brother's soul.
[CHUCKLES.]
But in my defense, what were the chances of this young lady expiring at the exact same time? Tell me you didn't put Abel in her body.
[SIGHS.]
So I make one teeny mistake.
Yes, it appears that Abel is running around as a young woman.
But the point is, we did it.
Abel's alive.
What matters is, your curse is lifted and you should no longer have your mark.
So come on, let's have a look.
The mark is still there, which means I'm still cursed.
We failed.
[SIGHS.]
Bugger.
[SCOFFS.]
He's a spry one.
Or she.
No sign of her anywhere.
I mean, him.
This is head-spinning, isn't it? - We need to find him.
- Why? You already figured out a plan "B"? Another way Abel can help remove your curse? What is it? I don't know, but whatever it is, it has to involve Abel.
Right.
Time to call the detective.
Yeah, that's a great idea.
"Hey, Decker.
We broke Abel out of Hell, dropped his soul into the wrong body and lost him.
Now he's on the lam in the body of the victim from your case.
Also, I'm immortal.
" There's no need to get snippy.
Fine, we'll do this on our own under the radar.
Now, he's your brother.
Where do you think he'd go? I don't know, we're not exactly in touch.
It's been a few millenia.
You tortured him in Hell.
You probably know him better than I do.
[SIGHS.]
Barely saw him, actually.
I was more of a big picture kind of guy.
The good news is I do know a demon or two.
Come on.
CHLOE: Who knew a producer could have this many enemies? Occupational hazard, I guess.
Yikes, check this out.
Look at that.
Huh.
"You're going to die.
" - Hmm.
- I do believe we have a winner.
Hang on.
Look at the Gs.
It's the same handwriting.
Sent a few weeks back.
They were upset about one of Alexa's movies, The Plunge.
"It's full of lies.
If you want the real truth, read The Z Prophecy.
" What is that? Wait, Alexa made The Plunge? Have you seen it? [CHUCKLING.]
: Oh, man.
A group of teens, they have to travel to the center of the Earth to unclog this blocked-up magma.
Oh, man, does it get intense.
Mm-hmm.
Whoever wrote this letter wants people to read The Z Prophecy.
Wonder what it is.
DAN: "Visionary, Liam Wade," author of The Z Prophecy and a whole bunch of other conspiracy theories.
Wow.
Seems pretty bonkers.
Check out his manifesto.
CHLOE: Look.
It's the same handwriting as the letters.
Okay, we need to talk to him and find out exactly why he was threatening Alexa.
CHARLOTTE: Crap.
Old socks.
Moldy leaves.
If it tastes so bad, why drink it? Well, I read that five doses a day helps supercharge your memory.
I've also tried meditation, sudoku, a lot of broccoli, but no recovered memories so far.
Just flatulence.
I was hoping that you had some, um, memory-jogging techniques.
Perhaps some mental exercises I could do, preferably, while I'm sleeping because that's four hours a day I don't need to waste just sleeping.
[CHUCKLES.]
You do realize you can't win at therapy.
Oh, please, I can win at anything.
Let's start there.
Your desire to win tells me you have a strong need for control.
Could we focus on finding my lost memories? Because that's what I'm paying you for.
Well, I think we should slow down and focus on what you do remember.
You say that you keep reliving the same thing over and over.
Is it like, say, an endless, horrible loop? One you weren't even aware you were trapped in? I know this is scary.
But it's where we need to start.
In your Hell.
No, that's the last thing I need.
And not what I asked you for at all.
Okay, well, it's not really about what you think you need.
Or ask for.
I know you're used to being in charge, but I'm the expert here.
You need to let me drive this.
Drive me crazy, so that you can get me hooked on therapy, and milk me for every cent.
No, thanks.
[EXHALES.]
[MAZE MOANS.]
Oh, God, Abel.
[CHUCKLES.]
You never forget your first.
So you'll help us find him, then? I'll tell you what I know so you can do your own grunt work for once.
Did you know that Abel was the first soul in Hell? Mm, an infernal guinea pig, - so to speak.
- MAZE: We all learned to torture by torturing him.
What'd you do to him? [INHALES.]
Well, Abel would be out partying, and then, you'd show up.
[CHUCKLES.]
I don't walk like that.
- Yeah, you do.
- Yes, you do.
Why was I even there? You were the star of Abel's Hell loop.
No matter what he did, you'd always show up, and kill him.
Over and over.
I was his torturer? LUCIFER: Whilst this is all very illuminating, Maze, how do we find Abel? Keep an ear out for someone babbling in Sumerian? [LAUGHING.]
: Oh, no, no.
He speaks in English.
And all the romance languages.
- [SCOFFS.]
- Arabic, Mandarin.
I mean, he's a little dated, and his Hindi needs work.
Wait, what? Me and the other demons would get bored, so we'd switch up the Hell loop.
Okay? It would always be you killing him, but at different times, different places.
He was a fast learner.
So, what you're saying is Hell made him multilingual and completely adaptable? And we put him in the body of a young woman.
[GROANS.]
Smooth move, boys.
Hold on.
If Abel's Hell was constantly changing, then this may just feel like another Hell loop to him.
He may have no idea he's actually alive again.
Do you remember where he would start his loop? - Yes.
- Hmm.
Do you know who he reminds me of? [STOMPS FOOT.]
[SCOFFS.]
Total poon hound.
You want to know where Abel is ask yourself.
Where would caveman Lucifer go? Fancy a walk? Yeah, I don't believe in superstition When you pull me in I get a premonition [ENGINE REVVING.]
[TIRES SCREECHING.]
Ladies, ladies.
Let's be fruitful, and multiply, huh? Allow me to bless you with my seed.
[CHUCKLES.]
DAN: Would it kill this nutjob to put in a driveway? [SIGHS.]
Right, Chloe? Huh? Chloe.
What? Sorry, sorry.
I'm distracted.
- It's just - Yeah.
Pierce, taking Lucifer.
I'm worried that it's something I did or said or both.
Why? What did you do or say? Well uh, you know what? Never mind.
It's not Pierce, i-it's Lucifer.
When he started here, no one wanted to work with him.
And I spent all this time training him, and now that he's somewhat of a decent partner, Pierce just swoops in and grabs him? Lucifer doesn't even blink? - It's not cool.
- Right.
Possessive much? Come on, I'm just giving you a hard time.
So he's working with Pierce.
Lucifer's still your partner.
What? What, do I got something on my face? Oh, God, is there a spider? Is it still there? It's not a spider.
It's a sniper.
What? Mr.
Wade? Please put down the weapon.
LIAM [OVER SPEAKER.]
: This is private property.
Leave now.
Did you send this note to Alexa Lee? You read my message.
People are finally starting to listen.
DAN: Mr.
Wade, um, we're here because of a recent attempt on Alexa's life.
Wait, why do you think I would want to hurt Alexa? Well, for starters, in the note, you said that she was gonna die.
Yeah.
Because she is.
She's gonna die.
I'm gonna die.
We're all gonna die if we don't act now.
I wasn't threatening Alexa.
- I wrote her a wake-up call.
- About what? Well, I'm glad you asked, ma'am.
You see, our planet's magma flows are blocked.
If that flow isn't released, soon [EXHALES.]
big, molten apocalypse.
DAN: Right.
I saw the movie.
And now you don't believe me, and that is the problem.
The Plunge made the prophecy into a joke.
Her crappy movie made a mockery out of a very, very serious issue.
I don't know, man, I kind of dug The Plunge.
- [SIGHS.]
- Seriously? A jock, a nerd and a princess save the planet? I mean, come on.
It was fun.
[EXHALES.]
Wow.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Look.
I hated Alexa's movie.
Okay? But I would never hurt her.
I-I actually kind of owe her.
Because guess who has 196 more Twitter followers since The Plunge premiered? Okay, if you didn't attack her, then who did? Alexa had a lot of enemies.
Big Agro, Big Frac.
The Bolivians.
The carnies.
Carnies? Okay, we're gonna need to search your property.
Extensively.
Hmm, mm You bring out the devil in me ABEL: Mm.
Look at the bosoms on that one.
This is the land of milk and honey.
Hello, Abel.
I've been watching you, Abel.
I do not want to lay with you.
Or any other man.
It's not my thing.
Listen, I'm not hitting on you.
You're a pawn.
Brought here by forces that you don't understand.
Now, I'm here to take you back to where you belong.
Okay.
Does "no" not mean "no" anymore? I want one of these fine maidens to warm my bed, not you.
Or any of the men who've been eyeing me - like I'm some big hunk of - Abel.
Have you seen yourself lately? Oh.
Are those bosoms mine? So that's why none of those menfolk heard a word I said.
Doesn't all this feel familiar? Don't you sense what's about to happen? Yes.
Every time I seek out revelry, my brother arrives.
And what does he do? He He kills me.
Over and over.
And there's nothing I can do to avoid it.
I've tried everything.
Fighting him, running from him, all in vain.
I'm trapped.
I can never escape.
You're right, Abel.
You can't fight him.
But I may have a way out of this for you.
You want me to kill myself? Well, I've never tried that before.
How many more strip clubs are we going to search? Why, as many as it takes.
What would I and therefore Abel do next? Keep up the fun, obviously.
Well, we just spent the last half hour wandering past billboards of women's lingerie.
And your problem is? "Problems," plural.
One: no sign of Abel, two: we have no idea what we're gonna do even if we find him.
Well, speak for yourself, Negative Nelly, 'cause I think I've worked out exactly what we need to do.
- Wait, you have? - Yes.
Well, Dad's an old school kind of guy, right? Eye for an eye, and all that? You killed Abel, so in order to make things truly even-steven - Abel has to kill me.
- Mm-hmm.
It does make sense.
So which way do you think you're headed? Once you finally pop off.
Pearly gates or blazing inferno? Be ironic if you went to all this trouble just to end up in a Hell loop.
I'd never punish myself like that.
Hell is all about your own guilt torturing you, right? - Right.
- Well, my conscience is clear.
Oh.
Killing your brother isn't the kind of thing you just shake off.
Listen, Abel wanted to kill me just as much as I wanted to kill him.
Why do you think he's in Hell? I'm just the guy who won the fight.
Hello.
Where would I and therefore Abel go next? Wherever she's going.
[KANE SIGHS.]
Well, I got to keep on walking Yeah, I'm looking for a phonograph That'll play out loud Results from our samples came back.
Liam told the truth.
No trace of explosive compounds on the farm.
- Or much else.
- Hmm.
Unless you count all the turkey jerky he was hoarding for the apocalypse.
[CHUCKLES.]
"Bolivian crime organizations"? You're not taking Liam seriously, are you? Okay, don't laugh, but I've been looking into some of his theories.
Ring of evil carnies.
I'm calling it.
[BOTH CHUCKLE.]
All right.
Ella got back to me with her bomb report.
It was made from fertilizer that's banned in the U.
S.
, but guess where it's still being used.
Bolivia? No way.
Yeah.
So I took a closer look into Alexa's company to see if I could prove a Bolivian connection.
Uh-huh.
She's got a lot of international financiers, which is pretty normal nowadays.
But I highlighted the Bolivian ones.
Guess there was a grain of truth in Liam's craziness.
We should cross-check that list with the FBI and DHS.
I already did.
These names are linked up to the Bolivian drug cartel.
[COMPUTER CHIMING.]
This is my contact from the TSA.
One of the Bolivian contractors landed in L.
A.
this morning.
Wonder what he's doing here.
I know you can do it, Abel.
[CHUCKLES.]
Wait.
Who are you? How do you know all of this? - No! - [GUNSHOT.]
That's her.
[ONLOOKERS SCREAMING.]
What are you doing here? Where'd he go? I mean, where did she go? I don't know.
[SIGHS.]
I told you to stay out of my way.
And I told you Father cursed Kane for a reason.
You actually thought that I would just sit around while you two idiots were raising Abel? I've been following you, Luci.
So reckless, even by your standards.
[CHUCKLES.]
Well, I think it's rather brilliant, actually.
Using the wings Dad unfairly punished me with to undo another one of his unfair punishments.
Do you seriously not realize just how dangerous it is to anger Father? Have you also forgotten that He took away your devil face? Precisely my point, brother.
I've got nothing left to lose.
Oh, don't be foolish, Luci.
There are so many things that Father can still take away from you.
Again with the fearmongering.
For the nth time, I'm not going to just take Dad's abuse.
Cowering from Him is your jam, remember? You know what? It's not you that I am trying to prove my worth to.
So think what you will, do what you will.
I'm gonna find Abel and send him back to where he belongs.
Oh, so we're just gonna let him leave, so he can get in our way later.
No, no.
Next time, we'll be ready.
Bad news.
Dead guy? Bolivian cartel hit man.
What? The Bolivian cartel wants to kill Bree? Why? Don't know.
[SIGHS.]
There's no keeping this from Decker anymore.
Fine.
I'll let you tell her.
Okay.
Okay? That's it? What, you're not gonna tear him a new one? Come on, I've gotten much worse for much less.
I'm not gonna yell at my boss, even if he lost our witness twice.
Oh, because you've got a soft spot for him? Because I'm not an idiot.
Look, you're the lieutenant, you call the shots.
But the next time you want to steal my partner to tail the target of my investigation, you want to clue me in first? Before it turns into a public gunfight? Deal.
Next time.
You said "target.
" Are you thinking the bomb was meant for Bree and not Alexa? Well, maybe the Bolivians knew that Bree always opened her boss' mail, used it as a misdirect.
Well, I still don't understand.
Why does the Bolivian cartel want a Hollywood assistant dead? Did she neglect to pick the pistachios off their quinoa salad? Well, that's the missing piece.
So we should find out what Alexa knows.
- If I can have my partner back? - Of course.
I'll track down Bree, I need to find him before You mean her.
I need to find her before the cartel does.
Mm-hmm.
So the bomb wasn't for me.
Well, the intended target was your assistant, Bree.
Have you heard from her lately? What are you talking about? Bree's in the hospital.
She fled from the ER.
No one's heard from her.
She could be in a lot of danger.
I guarantee she is.
Well, how's that possible? I-I was told she suffered fatal internal injuries.
Yes, well, you could say she's like a new man.
[ALEXA SIGHS.]
Well, thank God, but we need to find her.
We're doing everything we can to make sure she's safe.
What? Oh, yes, yes, of course.
That, too, but I need her back so bad.
Do you know what it's like to have someone take away an assistant you depend on? - Yes, I do, actually.
- [SIGHS.]
I mean, I-I am seriously lost here without her.
I-I don't even know how to call out of the office.
Do you know how? So you have no idea what kind of beef these Bolivian associates of yours may have had with Bree? I don't.
Bree is fluent in Spanish, so she dealt with those investors directly.
And you didn't think to vet them at all before you went into business with them? Have you seen the films I make? I can't afford to be picky.
Someone offers me money, I take it.
Okay, well, I'm gonna need to see any documented interactions you have with these investors.
- Absolutely, they're in there.
- Okay.
Oh, right.
Only Bree's fingerprint can unlock it.
Bree installed a biometric lock on the file cabinet? Seems a little paranoid.
What did she have to hide? Two recent incoming wires for 50 grand each, - both from a South American bank.
- Bingo.
Shady side business with the Bolivians it is.
So Bree was embezzling from that useless boss of hers.
Huh, who can blame her? Does loyalty mean nothing to you? Alexa gave Bree her first job in Hollywood.
She trained her.
You don't just ditch that the minute some big-armed, blue-eyed, toned Bolivian drug lord comes around, okay? Y-you, you don't, you don't.
Dan, if Bree bolted from the ER, maybe she left some things behind, like her phone.
Mm-hmm, which could hold proof to her connection with the Bolivians.
That's good thinking.
I'm gonna check on that.
Okay, thanks.
All right, I'm gonna see if Pierce had any luck finding Bree.
Oh, well, he won't need any luck.
He's got something far better than that.
Decker's right.
You're cute.
But I'm mid-bounty and I just got a lead.
So, if you don't mind Lucifer told me to tell you this is exactly the opposite of what Amenadiel wants.
I'm in.
Great.
- How do we find him? - Well Your brother's a predictable one.
He always runs to food or boobs.
Usually boobs.
That's how we found him the first time.
Now he has boobs, that might change his itinerary.
That's right, I totally forgot about that.
[CHUCKLES.]
Is he hot? Just tell me how we find him.
Well, every now and again, the sucker would do something I never saw coming.
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS.]
Hello, Kane.
- And good-bye.
- [GUNSHOT.]
[GROANS.]
Just like that.
Yes! [GRUNTS.]
Finally! Slayed you before you slayed me! [GRUNTS.]
Ashes to ashes, you bastard! [GRUNTS RHYTHMICALLY.]
Enjoy it while it lasts, Abel.
How do you know my name? And what is that supposed to mean? [GRUNTING.]
Thanks for the heads-up.
You said you wanted to die.
Make up your mind, cupcake.
And the mark is still there.
[SOBBING.]
Please, no.
No, please.
Please.
Just make it quick, Kane.
Please make it quick.
No.
I need you alive, so you can help me die.
Wait, what? This has to be a trick.
You always kill me.
That was when you were in Hell, where you've spent the last few millennia.
Maze tortured you in the afterlife.
Your punishment was to get killed by me, over and over.
MAZE: That's right.
You were trapped in a Hell loop, but now you're out.
You're alive, brother.
[IMITATES EXPLOSION.]
Turns out Abel killing me didn't remove the mark.
Mm-hmm.
Right, yes, I got that from the whole "you still being alive" of it all.
So much for making everything even-steven.
It's now time for Plan "C.
" [SCOFFS.]
I didn't realize we had one.
We don't.
But we'll think of something.
Okay, and how is bringing your she-brother into the precinct going to help? Much as I'm enjoying his Basic Instinct routine.
First things first, we have to make sure the Bolivians don't kill him.
Bree.
I'm Detective Decker.
This is Charlotte Richards from the DA's office.
Miss Garland, do you confirm that you're waiving your right to legal council? Yes.
Woman, I will waive whatever you want me to waive.
Uh, Lieutenant said he had noticed some PTSD symptoms, so we should just kind of roll with it if we can.
Don't take this lightly, Miss Garland.
It's a big decision.
Mmm.
Not as big as my flock.
Do you know how many sheep I possess? Enough for two wives.
Enough to feed our offspring and our offspring's offspring.
LUCIFER: He fits right in.
Is it me, or is your plan going down in flames? It'll work.
Well, as impressive as your flock sounds, let's get back to the deal.
The terms are simple.
You share all the information you have on the Bolivian cartel in exchange for immunity.
And the full protection of the LAPD.
Yes, to whatever those words mean.
Now, let's discuss who is going to lay with me first.
Uh, don't you want to read the terms of the deal, at least? What for? I've been told you're very wise.
I trust you.
CHARLOTTE: Just like that? You're going to let us drive this, just completely give up control? Mm-hmm.
Doesn't that scare you? Not nearly as much as the place I just escaped.
I would do anything to avoid returning to that Hell.
If you'd been there, you would do the same.
Charlotte.
Yes, sorry, we're good.
Great.
Great.
Okay, Bree? - Mm-hmm.
- Come on, you're coming with me.
[SHARP INHALE.]
Mm, you smell good.
Well so much for her being released into your custody.
We can't let him spend too much time with Decker.
She'll figure out something's going on.
[SIGHS.]
Let me see what I can do.
It's time for you to go home, Abel.
It wasn't easy for me to track you down, but you're not getting away from me this time.
What the MAZE: Meet my punching bag.
Look familiar? Mazikeen.
What are you doing here? What does it look like? Keeping you out of Lucifer's way.
[SHOUTS.]
I don't want to fight you, Mazikeen.
Who cares what you want? So you worked here for two years, it's still not ringing a bell? No, but your backside is ringing a Oh, you poor, forgetful thing.
Thankfully, all we need is your fingerprint.
Well, my finger goes wherever the lady tells me it goes.
Hey, Dan.
Did you have any luck finding Bree's phone? DAN: No.
Because guess who collected her stuff from the hospital? Alexa.
That's odd.
Yeah, right? So, I dug deeper.
Looked into her Pilates alibi.
Get this: her class is actually in the morning.
She rescheduled that day for 2:00 p.
m.
exactly.
It's like she knew to be out of the office.
She knew the bomb was coming.
- Who knew? - Alexa.
What, and the Bolivians warned her? Why? - Put it on speakerphone.
- [SIGHS.]
Okay, maybe the Bolivians were working with Alexa, not Bree.
Maybe Bree found out what they were up to and wanted to blow the whistle.
Well, that would explain those incoming wires in Bree's account.
Cartel tried to pay her off, silence her.
And when the nice way didn't work, they tried the not-so-nice way.
Well, hopefully the proof is behind drawer number one, so Wait a minute.
Why would Alexa send us straight to the place where we'd find proof of her crimes? Makes no sense.
Unless it's a trap.
Bree, wait! [CLICKS, BEEPS.]
Don't move.
DAN: Alexa knew Bree would need proof to turn her in, so she must have rigged the file cabinet that contained it.
We walked right into her trap.
If they move, the whole thing blows.
Call the bomb squad.
PIERCE: Decker, you need to get out of there, stat.
I'm not going anywhere, Lieutenant.
What do you mean, you're not going anywhere? You need to get out of there, now.
Don't worry, I'm staying right here.
Oh, woman, your loyalty touches me.
PIERCE: What happened to "You're the lieutenant, you call the shots"? CHLOE: There is an innocent victim glued to a bomb.
"Innocent victim" is highly debatable.
Lucifer, Bree was trying to do the right thing.
It's why the Bolivians and Alexa want her dead.
I'm not leaving.
ABEL: Oh, my flock is your flock, this I swear.
PIERCE: Okay.
No, no, no, o-opposite of okay.
PIERCE: If you're gonna stay, Decker, I can talk you through defusing it.
It's safer than waiting for it to blow up before the bomb squad gets there Wait a minute.
Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Chloe, Chloe, think about this, okay? Think about Trixie.
I am thinking about her.
And I'm also thinking that Bree's a daughter, too.
Oh, come on.
So [SIGHS.]
what do I do now? What, cut all these wires willy-nilly? Damn movies.
No.
You have to get into the box and disconnect the trigger.
And, very carefully, remove the blasting cap.
Ugh, this is madness.
PIERCE: Then toss it as far as possible.
Oh, you want her to toss an explosive, that sounds safe.
If the cap goes off away from the charge, it'll be harmless.
Lieutenant! I understand why your priority is to save your this young woman, but I will not let you endanger the detective's life in the process.
He's not endangering my life.
I am choosing to be here, and if you're not gonna help, you should probably just leave.
Well, we both know I'm not gonna do that.
I'm your partner.
Okay, good.
Then listen to me I'm gonna need both my hands, so please come help me.
Okay? Hold this.
I'll use this, and, uh All right.
[BOMB BEEPING.]
[QUIETLY.]
: Easy CHLOE: Got the blasting cap.
And Okay.
I think that means you can take your thumb off now.
[BEEPS.]
All right.
And don't tell us where you want to put it next.
MAZE: Up your butt! [PANTING.]
That's where I want to shove this.
And then, I'll press the button.
I don't even understand why you're so angry.
So what if Linda and I got together? You dumped me.
Remember? No, it's not about that.
Okay? It's about the betrayal.
The dirty sneaky lies! When will you understand that we were trying to protect you? And when will you understand I don't believe you? [SIGHS.]
All right.
Fine.
[BOTH PANTING.]
Well, come on! Come on! It's no fun if you just stand there! It's about as much fun as watching you break Linda's heart, I'd say.
[YELLS.]
[GRUNTS.]
Even this, you had to ruin.
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES.]
[POLICE RADIO CHATTER.]
Okay, thank you.
Hi.
So, we were able to lift one of Alexa's prints from the explosive.
Oh, good.
Sounds like enough to arrest her for murder.
And get her to flip on the Bolivians.
Apparently, she was using her movies to launder money for the cartel.
And that's what Bree was trying to expose.
Shame.
I mean, I had the perfect title for The Plunge 2.
2 Deep 2 Plunge.
With the number two, each time, - instead of the word.
- Instead of the word.
Yeah, I get it.
It's funny.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
So [CLEARS THROAT.]
I just wanted to say thank you, again.
I couldn't have done it without you.
Night.
Without me you wouldn't have been in danger in the first place.
CHARLOTTE: I'm sorry about last time.
I'm a bit of a control freak.
Ah.
Really? I hadn't noticed.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY.]
So, what's changed? Well, I realized that you're right, you're the expert.
And I should trust you.
And as scary as that is [SIGHS.]
there's something much scarier.
I, um, I wake up smell coffee.
It's nice.
I have breakfast with my family.
Uh, we're happy.
[CHUCKLES.]
At peace.
And then, a man walks in and shoots each of them.
Dead.
And I know this man because he's somebody that I represented, and I know that he should be in jail, but he's not.
Because of me.
I just smile, while my family is killed.
I don't move a muscle.
[SHUDDERING BREATH.]
Because I'm the reason that it's happening.
I'm the reason that he's free.
And then, I wake up.
It's a new morning.
I smell the same coffee.
Pour the same cereal.
And then, someone else walks in, and shoots my family.
This time, it's a different person.
Someone else I set free.
And I just smile again.
And I die inside again.
Over and over, and I don't know what it'll take to stay out of that place.
I'm trying my best.
But I don't know if it'll be enough.
Well, it's a very brave start.
I don't believe in Satan But he believes in me Thank you for saving my life, Kane.
I suppose we're even now.
[SIGHS.]
Yet, this is still there.
Hmm.
This whole time, you've been in a kind of Hell, too.
You still are.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, too, brother.
[EXHALES.]
Your face is still the face of my torturer.
Fair enough.
I guess we still need some space.
That, we can agree on.
He's the master of deceit I don't believe in Satan Ah, that was quite civil, actually.
I know I promised to help you end your curse, but I'm afraid we need to dissolve our unholy alliance.
Why? The risk is too great.
I mean, I don't mind putting myself in danger, but the detective? If she had died, it would have been my fault.
But you're the Devil, you always keep your word.
I do.
So I hope you understand how difficult a decision this was.
And yet, oddly, the easiest I've ever made.
Well, I'm not done.
Abel's how my curse started, he's got to be the way it ends.
As long as he's alive, I still have hope.
[TIRES SCREECH.]
[KANE SIGHS.]
[CHUCKLES.]
[SIREN WAILING.]
No!
But perhaps there's a way - for us to screw him back.
- How? By killing you.
- Amenadiel's nice.
- If he were nice, he wouldn't be sneaking around behind my back with my friend, and lying about it.
You know, don't you? You're the ones who have been lying to me about this fling for weeks.
I'd like to try and help.
You don't have to treat me.
I think I do.
For both of us.
LUCIFER: In my quest to help you die, I've done some research.
I've read every book, I've analyzed every language.
LUCIFER: I'm completely out of ideas.
We can't rewrite history.
Detective, you're a genius.
You've just given me my idea.
LUCIFER: Once upon a time, there were two brothers Kane and Abel.
They fought, as brothers often do, over everything.
What's that supposed to be? Are we shaking hands or holding spiders? [CHUCKLES.]
That's you and your brother pummeling each other over a pet rock.
And here's you two scamps tugging on both ends of a snake.
That's not how it happened.
Well, artistic license, my friend.
The point is that you were always at each other's throats.
Until [SNIFFS.]
you fought to the death.
You killed Abel and became the world's first murderer.
Now, the part where my father marks you, cursing you to walk the earth for eternity, - it's tricky to draw.
- Now, um, I've heard this one before The ending sucks.
My point exactly.
We all know how your story ends.
But what if we change how it begins? What if you never killed Abel? What if we did this? Clean slate.
That's impossible.
How would we do that? Oh, simple.
I shall fly down to Hell, pluck your brother's soul, and drop it into a vacant body.
This would make Abel technically alive, and therefore not murdered, and you innocent.
Wait, back up.
My brother is in Hell? Yes, of course.
In fact, he's our oldest tenant.
I knew it.
Do you know how many times I've tried to tell people Abel is the asshat? No one ever believes me.
Right, can we just focus on my genius plan? If we bring Abel back to life, that would erase your crime.
No crime, no mark, no curse.
You'd be mortal and can finally die.
PIERCE: This one's good.
Oh, this one's even better.
Yeah, a bit past its sell-by date, I'm afraid.
Wait till Abel wakes up in this body.
I never thought I'd say this, but slow down, Lieutenant.
Time to lay down some soul-dropping rules, or what I think the rules are, at least.
You have done this before, right? Not exactly, but based on a sample size of, uh, one crooked cop and one goddess, I can only drop a soul into someone who's recently died.
How recent? The instant after death.
So we need a fresh one.
How are we gonna find that? Hey, guys? There's been an explosion at a high-rise downtown.
There's one dead at the scene, one on the way to the ICU.
Oh, that's promising.
- Excuse me? - He means that's a promising chance to question the witness at the hospital.
Mm.
Yes, where loads of people are on the brink of death.
So you want to question someone who's unconscious and in critical condition? The witness may recover, have some intel.
- Can't hurt to check.
- Hmm.
Okay, we'll work the crime scene.
Lucifer, you coming? Lucifer's coming with me this time.
Shall we? Such a pretty face Straight teeth Look baby, now you playing in a different league DAN: Bomb squad did their threat report.
Ruled it as a homicide, handed it off to us.
Looks like the bomb came by messenger.
And, uh, an assistant opened the package, triggering the bomb.
Huh.
Is that the messenger? Yep.
Rest in peace, dude.
We tried to track who sent it, but they covered their tracks.
One thing we do know is that the assistant wasn't the target.
Package was addressed to her boss.
Producer Alexa Lee, she just came in, she's pretty shook up.
All right.
Let's go talk to her.
Where were you when the blast occurred? At home.
My Tuesday session with Paolo, my Pilates trainer.
You have any idea who'd want to hurt you? Any past enemies, grudges, anything like that? How much time you got? [SCOFFS.]
Come on, this is Hollywood.
I get way more hate mail than fan mail.
Did any one threat stand out at all? Uh, my assistant will know.
Bree Garland.
She deals with all my mail and oh, my God, did Bree open the box? She's in the ICU.
But we haven't heard word yet.
Oh, no.
It should have been me.
Poor Bree.
LUCIFER: Bree Garland? - She won't do at all.
- Why not? Well, how much do you hate your brother on a scale of one to ten? One thousand, infinity plus one.
Right, well, if we pop Abel into a body this young, you could be stuck with him for another 70 years.
That's a lot of quality time.
Copy, not her.
[SIGHS.]
No, what we need is someone ancient, someone at death's door.
- [HEART RATE MONITOR FLATLINING.]
- Someone [CLEARS THROAT.]
PIERCE: "Do not resuscitate.
97 years old, no next of kin.
" Perfect.
Yes, we'll put Abel in this old coot.
[GIGGLES.]
He gets a second chance at life and you get your chance at death.
Let's do this.
Right.
Enjoy the show, Dad.
[WINGS WHOOSH.]
[HEART RATE MONITOR FLATLINING.]
- [WIND WHOOSHES.]
- [FEET THUD.]
Right.
[HEART RATE MONITOR BEATS RHYTHMICALLY.]
[SIGHS.]
Any second now.
Any second.
You sure you did this right? Well, I know I grabbed Abel down below.
- PIERCE: Did you put him in the right place? - LUCIFER: Probably.
PIERCE: What do you mean, "probably"? LUCIFER: Well, like I said, I'm new to this.
But where else would I have dropped him? - Did you screw this up? - I don't know.
I mean, it's not like there's an instruction manual.
Lucifer.
Where did she go? Hmm? Oh.
Okay, I see what's happened here.
It appears I may have misplaced your brother's soul.
[CHUCKLES.]
But in my defense, what were the chances of this young lady expiring at the exact same time? Tell me you didn't put Abel in her body.
[SIGHS.]
So I make one teeny mistake.
Yes, it appears that Abel is running around as a young woman.
But the point is, we did it.
Abel's alive.
What matters is, your curse is lifted and you should no longer have your mark.
So come on, let's have a look.
The mark is still there, which means I'm still cursed.
We failed.
[SIGHS.]
Bugger.
[SCOFFS.]
He's a spry one.
Or she.
No sign of her anywhere.
I mean, him.
This is head-spinning, isn't it? - We need to find him.
- Why? You already figured out a plan "B"? Another way Abel can help remove your curse? What is it? I don't know, but whatever it is, it has to involve Abel.
Right.
Time to call the detective.
Yeah, that's a great idea.
"Hey, Decker.
We broke Abel out of Hell, dropped his soul into the wrong body and lost him.
Now he's on the lam in the body of the victim from your case.
Also, I'm immortal.
" There's no need to get snippy.
Fine, we'll do this on our own under the radar.
Now, he's your brother.
Where do you think he'd go? I don't know, we're not exactly in touch.
It's been a few millenia.
You tortured him in Hell.
You probably know him better than I do.
[SIGHS.]
Barely saw him, actually.
I was more of a big picture kind of guy.
The good news is I do know a demon or two.
Come on.
CHLOE: Who knew a producer could have this many enemies? Occupational hazard, I guess.
Yikes, check this out.
Look at that.
Huh.
"You're going to die.
" - Hmm.
- I do believe we have a winner.
Hang on.
Look at the Gs.
It's the same handwriting.
Sent a few weeks back.
They were upset about one of Alexa's movies, The Plunge.
"It's full of lies.
If you want the real truth, read The Z Prophecy.
" What is that? Wait, Alexa made The Plunge? Have you seen it? [CHUCKLING.]
: Oh, man.
A group of teens, they have to travel to the center of the Earth to unclog this blocked-up magma.
Oh, man, does it get intense.
Mm-hmm.
Whoever wrote this letter wants people to read The Z Prophecy.
Wonder what it is.
DAN: "Visionary, Liam Wade," author of The Z Prophecy and a whole bunch of other conspiracy theories.
Wow.
Seems pretty bonkers.
Check out his manifesto.
CHLOE: Look.
It's the same handwriting as the letters.
Okay, we need to talk to him and find out exactly why he was threatening Alexa.
CHARLOTTE: Crap.
Old socks.
Moldy leaves.
If it tastes so bad, why drink it? Well, I read that five doses a day helps supercharge your memory.
I've also tried meditation, sudoku, a lot of broccoli, but no recovered memories so far.
Just flatulence.
I was hoping that you had some, um, memory-jogging techniques.
Perhaps some mental exercises I could do, preferably, while I'm sleeping because that's four hours a day I don't need to waste just sleeping.
[CHUCKLES.]
You do realize you can't win at therapy.
Oh, please, I can win at anything.
Let's start there.
Your desire to win tells me you have a strong need for control.
Could we focus on finding my lost memories? Because that's what I'm paying you for.
Well, I think we should slow down and focus on what you do remember.
You say that you keep reliving the same thing over and over.
Is it like, say, an endless, horrible loop? One you weren't even aware you were trapped in? I know this is scary.
But it's where we need to start.
In your Hell.
No, that's the last thing I need.
And not what I asked you for at all.
Okay, well, it's not really about what you think you need.
Or ask for.
I know you're used to being in charge, but I'm the expert here.
You need to let me drive this.
Drive me crazy, so that you can get me hooked on therapy, and milk me for every cent.
No, thanks.
[EXHALES.]
[MAZE MOANS.]
Oh, God, Abel.
[CHUCKLES.]
You never forget your first.
So you'll help us find him, then? I'll tell you what I know so you can do your own grunt work for once.
Did you know that Abel was the first soul in Hell? Mm, an infernal guinea pig, - so to speak.
- MAZE: We all learned to torture by torturing him.
What'd you do to him? [INHALES.]
Well, Abel would be out partying, and then, you'd show up.
[CHUCKLES.]
I don't walk like that.
- Yeah, you do.
- Yes, you do.
Why was I even there? You were the star of Abel's Hell loop.
No matter what he did, you'd always show up, and kill him.
Over and over.
I was his torturer? LUCIFER: Whilst this is all very illuminating, Maze, how do we find Abel? Keep an ear out for someone babbling in Sumerian? [LAUGHING.]
: Oh, no, no.
He speaks in English.
And all the romance languages.
- [SCOFFS.]
- Arabic, Mandarin.
I mean, he's a little dated, and his Hindi needs work.
Wait, what? Me and the other demons would get bored, so we'd switch up the Hell loop.
Okay? It would always be you killing him, but at different times, different places.
He was a fast learner.
So, what you're saying is Hell made him multilingual and completely adaptable? And we put him in the body of a young woman.
[GROANS.]
Smooth move, boys.
Hold on.
If Abel's Hell was constantly changing, then this may just feel like another Hell loop to him.
He may have no idea he's actually alive again.
Do you remember where he would start his loop? - Yes.
- Hmm.
Do you know who he reminds me of? [STOMPS FOOT.]
[SCOFFS.]
Total poon hound.
You want to know where Abel is ask yourself.
Where would caveman Lucifer go? Fancy a walk? Yeah, I don't believe in superstition When you pull me in I get a premonition [ENGINE REVVING.]
[TIRES SCREECHING.]
Ladies, ladies.
Let's be fruitful, and multiply, huh? Allow me to bless you with my seed.
[CHUCKLES.]
DAN: Would it kill this nutjob to put in a driveway? [SIGHS.]
Right, Chloe? Huh? Chloe.
What? Sorry, sorry.
I'm distracted.
- It's just - Yeah.
Pierce, taking Lucifer.
I'm worried that it's something I did or said or both.
Why? What did you do or say? Well uh, you know what? Never mind.
It's not Pierce, i-it's Lucifer.
When he started here, no one wanted to work with him.
And I spent all this time training him, and now that he's somewhat of a decent partner, Pierce just swoops in and grabs him? Lucifer doesn't even blink? - It's not cool.
- Right.
Possessive much? Come on, I'm just giving you a hard time.
So he's working with Pierce.
Lucifer's still your partner.
What? What, do I got something on my face? Oh, God, is there a spider? Is it still there? It's not a spider.
It's a sniper.
What? Mr.
Wade? Please put down the weapon.
LIAM [OVER SPEAKER.]
: This is private property.
Leave now.
Did you send this note to Alexa Lee? You read my message.
People are finally starting to listen.
DAN: Mr.
Wade, um, we're here because of a recent attempt on Alexa's life.
Wait, why do you think I would want to hurt Alexa? Well, for starters, in the note, you said that she was gonna die.
Yeah.
Because she is.
She's gonna die.
I'm gonna die.
We're all gonna die if we don't act now.
I wasn't threatening Alexa.
- I wrote her a wake-up call.
- About what? Well, I'm glad you asked, ma'am.
You see, our planet's magma flows are blocked.
If that flow isn't released, soon [EXHALES.]
big, molten apocalypse.
DAN: Right.
I saw the movie.
And now you don't believe me, and that is the problem.
The Plunge made the prophecy into a joke.
Her crappy movie made a mockery out of a very, very serious issue.
I don't know, man, I kind of dug The Plunge.
- [SIGHS.]
- Seriously? A jock, a nerd and a princess save the planet? I mean, come on.
It was fun.
[EXHALES.]
Wow.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Look.
I hated Alexa's movie.
Okay? But I would never hurt her.
I-I actually kind of owe her.
Because guess who has 196 more Twitter followers since The Plunge premiered? Okay, if you didn't attack her, then who did? Alexa had a lot of enemies.
Big Agro, Big Frac.
The Bolivians.
The carnies.
Carnies? Okay, we're gonna need to search your property.
Extensively.
Hmm, mm You bring out the devil in me ABEL: Mm.
Look at the bosoms on that one.
This is the land of milk and honey.
Hello, Abel.
I've been watching you, Abel.
I do not want to lay with you.
Or any other man.
It's not my thing.
Listen, I'm not hitting on you.
You're a pawn.
Brought here by forces that you don't understand.
Now, I'm here to take you back to where you belong.
Okay.
Does "no" not mean "no" anymore? I want one of these fine maidens to warm my bed, not you.
Or any of the men who've been eyeing me - like I'm some big hunk of - Abel.
Have you seen yourself lately? Oh.
Are those bosoms mine? So that's why none of those menfolk heard a word I said.
Doesn't all this feel familiar? Don't you sense what's about to happen? Yes.
Every time I seek out revelry, my brother arrives.
And what does he do? He He kills me.
Over and over.
And there's nothing I can do to avoid it.
I've tried everything.
Fighting him, running from him, all in vain.
I'm trapped.
I can never escape.
You're right, Abel.
You can't fight him.
But I may have a way out of this for you.
You want me to kill myself? Well, I've never tried that before.
How many more strip clubs are we going to search? Why, as many as it takes.
What would I and therefore Abel do next? Keep up the fun, obviously.
Well, we just spent the last half hour wandering past billboards of women's lingerie.
And your problem is? "Problems," plural.
One: no sign of Abel, two: we have no idea what we're gonna do even if we find him.
Well, speak for yourself, Negative Nelly, 'cause I think I've worked out exactly what we need to do.
- Wait, you have? - Yes.
Well, Dad's an old school kind of guy, right? Eye for an eye, and all that? You killed Abel, so in order to make things truly even-steven - Abel has to kill me.
- Mm-hmm.
It does make sense.
So which way do you think you're headed? Once you finally pop off.
Pearly gates or blazing inferno? Be ironic if you went to all this trouble just to end up in a Hell loop.
I'd never punish myself like that.
Hell is all about your own guilt torturing you, right? - Right.
- Well, my conscience is clear.
Oh.
Killing your brother isn't the kind of thing you just shake off.
Listen, Abel wanted to kill me just as much as I wanted to kill him.
Why do you think he's in Hell? I'm just the guy who won the fight.
Hello.
Where would I and therefore Abel go next? Wherever she's going.
[KANE SIGHS.]
Well, I got to keep on walking Yeah, I'm looking for a phonograph That'll play out loud Results from our samples came back.
Liam told the truth.
No trace of explosive compounds on the farm.
- Or much else.
- Hmm.
Unless you count all the turkey jerky he was hoarding for the apocalypse.
[CHUCKLES.]
"Bolivian crime organizations"? You're not taking Liam seriously, are you? Okay, don't laugh, but I've been looking into some of his theories.
Ring of evil carnies.
I'm calling it.
[BOTH CHUCKLE.]
All right.
Ella got back to me with her bomb report.
It was made from fertilizer that's banned in the U.
S.
, but guess where it's still being used.
Bolivia? No way.
Yeah.
So I took a closer look into Alexa's company to see if I could prove a Bolivian connection.
Uh-huh.
She's got a lot of international financiers, which is pretty normal nowadays.
But I highlighted the Bolivian ones.
Guess there was a grain of truth in Liam's craziness.
We should cross-check that list with the FBI and DHS.
I already did.
These names are linked up to the Bolivian drug cartel.
[COMPUTER CHIMING.]
This is my contact from the TSA.
One of the Bolivian contractors landed in L.
A.
this morning.
Wonder what he's doing here.
I know you can do it, Abel.
[CHUCKLES.]
Wait.
Who are you? How do you know all of this? - No! - [GUNSHOT.]
That's her.
[ONLOOKERS SCREAMING.]
What are you doing here? Where'd he go? I mean, where did she go? I don't know.
[SIGHS.]
I told you to stay out of my way.
And I told you Father cursed Kane for a reason.
You actually thought that I would just sit around while you two idiots were raising Abel? I've been following you, Luci.
So reckless, even by your standards.
[CHUCKLES.]
Well, I think it's rather brilliant, actually.
Using the wings Dad unfairly punished me with to undo another one of his unfair punishments.
Do you seriously not realize just how dangerous it is to anger Father? Have you also forgotten that He took away your devil face? Precisely my point, brother.
I've got nothing left to lose.
Oh, don't be foolish, Luci.
There are so many things that Father can still take away from you.
Again with the fearmongering.
For the nth time, I'm not going to just take Dad's abuse.
Cowering from Him is your jam, remember? You know what? It's not you that I am trying to prove my worth to.
So think what you will, do what you will.
I'm gonna find Abel and send him back to where he belongs.
Oh, so we're just gonna let him leave, so he can get in our way later.
No, no.
Next time, we'll be ready.
Bad news.
Dead guy? Bolivian cartel hit man.
What? The Bolivian cartel wants to kill Bree? Why? Don't know.
[SIGHS.]
There's no keeping this from Decker anymore.
Fine.
I'll let you tell her.
Okay.
Okay? That's it? What, you're not gonna tear him a new one? Come on, I've gotten much worse for much less.
I'm not gonna yell at my boss, even if he lost our witness twice.
Oh, because you've got a soft spot for him? Because I'm not an idiot.
Look, you're the lieutenant, you call the shots.
But the next time you want to steal my partner to tail the target of my investigation, you want to clue me in first? Before it turns into a public gunfight? Deal.
Next time.
You said "target.
" Are you thinking the bomb was meant for Bree and not Alexa? Well, maybe the Bolivians knew that Bree always opened her boss' mail, used it as a misdirect.
Well, I still don't understand.
Why does the Bolivian cartel want a Hollywood assistant dead? Did she neglect to pick the pistachios off their quinoa salad? Well, that's the missing piece.
So we should find out what Alexa knows.
- If I can have my partner back? - Of course.
I'll track down Bree, I need to find him before You mean her.
I need to find her before the cartel does.
Mm-hmm.
So the bomb wasn't for me.
Well, the intended target was your assistant, Bree.
Have you heard from her lately? What are you talking about? Bree's in the hospital.
She fled from the ER.
No one's heard from her.
She could be in a lot of danger.
I guarantee she is.
Well, how's that possible? I-I was told she suffered fatal internal injuries.
Yes, well, you could say she's like a new man.
[ALEXA SIGHS.]
Well, thank God, but we need to find her.
We're doing everything we can to make sure she's safe.
What? Oh, yes, yes, of course.
That, too, but I need her back so bad.
Do you know what it's like to have someone take away an assistant you depend on? - Yes, I do, actually.
- [SIGHS.]
I mean, I-I am seriously lost here without her.
I-I don't even know how to call out of the office.
Do you know how? So you have no idea what kind of beef these Bolivian associates of yours may have had with Bree? I don't.
Bree is fluent in Spanish, so she dealt with those investors directly.
And you didn't think to vet them at all before you went into business with them? Have you seen the films I make? I can't afford to be picky.
Someone offers me money, I take it.
Okay, well, I'm gonna need to see any documented interactions you have with these investors.
- Absolutely, they're in there.
- Okay.
Oh, right.
Only Bree's fingerprint can unlock it.
Bree installed a biometric lock on the file cabinet? Seems a little paranoid.
What did she have to hide? Two recent incoming wires for 50 grand each, - both from a South American bank.
- Bingo.
Shady side business with the Bolivians it is.
So Bree was embezzling from that useless boss of hers.
Huh, who can blame her? Does loyalty mean nothing to you? Alexa gave Bree her first job in Hollywood.
She trained her.
You don't just ditch that the minute some big-armed, blue-eyed, toned Bolivian drug lord comes around, okay? Y-you, you don't, you don't.
Dan, if Bree bolted from the ER, maybe she left some things behind, like her phone.
Mm-hmm, which could hold proof to her connection with the Bolivians.
That's good thinking.
I'm gonna check on that.
Okay, thanks.
All right, I'm gonna see if Pierce had any luck finding Bree.
Oh, well, he won't need any luck.
He's got something far better than that.
Decker's right.
You're cute.
But I'm mid-bounty and I just got a lead.
So, if you don't mind Lucifer told me to tell you this is exactly the opposite of what Amenadiel wants.
I'm in.
Great.
- How do we find him? - Well Your brother's a predictable one.
He always runs to food or boobs.
Usually boobs.
That's how we found him the first time.
Now he has boobs, that might change his itinerary.
That's right, I totally forgot about that.
[CHUCKLES.]
Is he hot? Just tell me how we find him.
Well, every now and again, the sucker would do something I never saw coming.
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS.]
Hello, Kane.
- And good-bye.
- [GUNSHOT.]
[GROANS.]
Just like that.
Yes! [GRUNTS.]
Finally! Slayed you before you slayed me! [GRUNTS.]
Ashes to ashes, you bastard! [GRUNTS RHYTHMICALLY.]
Enjoy it while it lasts, Abel.
How do you know my name? And what is that supposed to mean? [GRUNTING.]
Thanks for the heads-up.
You said you wanted to die.
Make up your mind, cupcake.
And the mark is still there.
[SOBBING.]
Please, no.
No, please.
Please.
Just make it quick, Kane.
Please make it quick.
No.
I need you alive, so you can help me die.
Wait, what? This has to be a trick.
You always kill me.
That was when you were in Hell, where you've spent the last few millennia.
Maze tortured you in the afterlife.
Your punishment was to get killed by me, over and over.
MAZE: That's right.
You were trapped in a Hell loop, but now you're out.
You're alive, brother.
[IMITATES EXPLOSION.]
Turns out Abel killing me didn't remove the mark.
Mm-hmm.
Right, yes, I got that from the whole "you still being alive" of it all.
So much for making everything even-steven.
It's now time for Plan "C.
" [SCOFFS.]
I didn't realize we had one.
We don't.
But we'll think of something.
Okay, and how is bringing your she-brother into the precinct going to help? Much as I'm enjoying his Basic Instinct routine.
First things first, we have to make sure the Bolivians don't kill him.
Bree.
I'm Detective Decker.
This is Charlotte Richards from the DA's office.
Miss Garland, do you confirm that you're waiving your right to legal council? Yes.
Woman, I will waive whatever you want me to waive.
Uh, Lieutenant said he had noticed some PTSD symptoms, so we should just kind of roll with it if we can.
Don't take this lightly, Miss Garland.
It's a big decision.
Mmm.
Not as big as my flock.
Do you know how many sheep I possess? Enough for two wives.
Enough to feed our offspring and our offspring's offspring.
LUCIFER: He fits right in.
Is it me, or is your plan going down in flames? It'll work.
Well, as impressive as your flock sounds, let's get back to the deal.
The terms are simple.
You share all the information you have on the Bolivian cartel in exchange for immunity.
And the full protection of the LAPD.
Yes, to whatever those words mean.
Now, let's discuss who is going to lay with me first.
Uh, don't you want to read the terms of the deal, at least? What for? I've been told you're very wise.
I trust you.
CHARLOTTE: Just like that? You're going to let us drive this, just completely give up control? Mm-hmm.
Doesn't that scare you? Not nearly as much as the place I just escaped.
I would do anything to avoid returning to that Hell.
If you'd been there, you would do the same.
Charlotte.
Yes, sorry, we're good.
Great.
Great.
Okay, Bree? - Mm-hmm.
- Come on, you're coming with me.
[SHARP INHALE.]
Mm, you smell good.
Well so much for her being released into your custody.
We can't let him spend too much time with Decker.
She'll figure out something's going on.
[SIGHS.]
Let me see what I can do.
It's time for you to go home, Abel.
It wasn't easy for me to track you down, but you're not getting away from me this time.
What the MAZE: Meet my punching bag.
Look familiar? Mazikeen.
What are you doing here? What does it look like? Keeping you out of Lucifer's way.
[SHOUTS.]
I don't want to fight you, Mazikeen.
Who cares what you want? So you worked here for two years, it's still not ringing a bell? No, but your backside is ringing a Oh, you poor, forgetful thing.
Thankfully, all we need is your fingerprint.
Well, my finger goes wherever the lady tells me it goes.
Hey, Dan.
Did you have any luck finding Bree's phone? DAN: No.
Because guess who collected her stuff from the hospital? Alexa.
That's odd.
Yeah, right? So, I dug deeper.
Looked into her Pilates alibi.
Get this: her class is actually in the morning.
She rescheduled that day for 2:00 p.
m.
exactly.
It's like she knew to be out of the office.
She knew the bomb was coming.
- Who knew? - Alexa.
What, and the Bolivians warned her? Why? - Put it on speakerphone.
- [SIGHS.]
Okay, maybe the Bolivians were working with Alexa, not Bree.
Maybe Bree found out what they were up to and wanted to blow the whistle.
Well, that would explain those incoming wires in Bree's account.
Cartel tried to pay her off, silence her.
And when the nice way didn't work, they tried the not-so-nice way.
Well, hopefully the proof is behind drawer number one, so Wait a minute.
Why would Alexa send us straight to the place where we'd find proof of her crimes? Makes no sense.
Unless it's a trap.
Bree, wait! [CLICKS, BEEPS.]
Don't move.
DAN: Alexa knew Bree would need proof to turn her in, so she must have rigged the file cabinet that contained it.
We walked right into her trap.
If they move, the whole thing blows.
Call the bomb squad.
PIERCE: Decker, you need to get out of there, stat.
I'm not going anywhere, Lieutenant.
What do you mean, you're not going anywhere? You need to get out of there, now.
Don't worry, I'm staying right here.
Oh, woman, your loyalty touches me.
PIERCE: What happened to "You're the lieutenant, you call the shots"? CHLOE: There is an innocent victim glued to a bomb.
"Innocent victim" is highly debatable.
Lucifer, Bree was trying to do the right thing.
It's why the Bolivians and Alexa want her dead.
I'm not leaving.
ABEL: Oh, my flock is your flock, this I swear.
PIERCE: Okay.
No, no, no, o-opposite of okay.
PIERCE: If you're gonna stay, Decker, I can talk you through defusing it.
It's safer than waiting for it to blow up before the bomb squad gets there Wait a minute.
Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Chloe, Chloe, think about this, okay? Think about Trixie.
I am thinking about her.
And I'm also thinking that Bree's a daughter, too.
Oh, come on.
So [SIGHS.]
what do I do now? What, cut all these wires willy-nilly? Damn movies.
No.
You have to get into the box and disconnect the trigger.
And, very carefully, remove the blasting cap.
Ugh, this is madness.
PIERCE: Then toss it as far as possible.
Oh, you want her to toss an explosive, that sounds safe.
If the cap goes off away from the charge, it'll be harmless.
Lieutenant! I understand why your priority is to save your this young woman, but I will not let you endanger the detective's life in the process.
He's not endangering my life.
I am choosing to be here, and if you're not gonna help, you should probably just leave.
Well, we both know I'm not gonna do that.
I'm your partner.
Okay, good.
Then listen to me I'm gonna need both my hands, so please come help me.
Okay? Hold this.
I'll use this, and, uh All right.
[BOMB BEEPING.]
[QUIETLY.]
: Easy CHLOE: Got the blasting cap.
And Okay.
I think that means you can take your thumb off now.
[BEEPS.]
All right.
And don't tell us where you want to put it next.
MAZE: Up your butt! [PANTING.]
That's where I want to shove this.
And then, I'll press the button.
I don't even understand why you're so angry.
So what if Linda and I got together? You dumped me.
Remember? No, it's not about that.
Okay? It's about the betrayal.
The dirty sneaky lies! When will you understand that we were trying to protect you? And when will you understand I don't believe you? [SIGHS.]
All right.
Fine.
[BOTH PANTING.]
Well, come on! Come on! It's no fun if you just stand there! It's about as much fun as watching you break Linda's heart, I'd say.
[YELLS.]
[GRUNTS.]
Even this, you had to ruin.
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES.]
[POLICE RADIO CHATTER.]
Okay, thank you.
Hi.
So, we were able to lift one of Alexa's prints from the explosive.
Oh, good.
Sounds like enough to arrest her for murder.
And get her to flip on the Bolivians.
Apparently, she was using her movies to launder money for the cartel.
And that's what Bree was trying to expose.
Shame.
I mean, I had the perfect title for The Plunge 2.
2 Deep 2 Plunge.
With the number two, each time, - instead of the word.
- Instead of the word.
Yeah, I get it.
It's funny.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
So [CLEARS THROAT.]
I just wanted to say thank you, again.
I couldn't have done it without you.
Night.
Without me you wouldn't have been in danger in the first place.
CHARLOTTE: I'm sorry about last time.
I'm a bit of a control freak.
Ah.
Really? I hadn't noticed.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY.]
So, what's changed? Well, I realized that you're right, you're the expert.
And I should trust you.
And as scary as that is [SIGHS.]
there's something much scarier.
I, um, I wake up smell coffee.
It's nice.
I have breakfast with my family.
Uh, we're happy.
[CHUCKLES.]
At peace.
And then, a man walks in and shoots each of them.
Dead.
And I know this man because he's somebody that I represented, and I know that he should be in jail, but he's not.
Because of me.
I just smile, while my family is killed.
I don't move a muscle.
[SHUDDERING BREATH.]
Because I'm the reason that it's happening.
I'm the reason that he's free.
And then, I wake up.
It's a new morning.
I smell the same coffee.
Pour the same cereal.
And then, someone else walks in, and shoots my family.
This time, it's a different person.
Someone else I set free.
And I just smile again.
And I die inside again.
Over and over, and I don't know what it'll take to stay out of that place.
I'm trying my best.
But I don't know if it'll be enough.
Well, it's a very brave start.
I don't believe in Satan But he believes in me Thank you for saving my life, Kane.
I suppose we're even now.
[SIGHS.]
Yet, this is still there.
Hmm.
This whole time, you've been in a kind of Hell, too.
You still are.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, too, brother.
[EXHALES.]
Your face is still the face of my torturer.
Fair enough.
I guess we still need some space.
That, we can agree on.
He's the master of deceit I don't believe in Satan Ah, that was quite civil, actually.
I know I promised to help you end your curse, but I'm afraid we need to dissolve our unholy alliance.
Why? The risk is too great.
I mean, I don't mind putting myself in danger, but the detective? If she had died, it would have been my fault.
But you're the Devil, you always keep your word.
I do.
So I hope you understand how difficult a decision this was.
And yet, oddly, the easiest I've ever made.
Well, I'm not done.
Abel's how my curse started, he's got to be the way it ends.
As long as he's alive, I still have hope.
[TIRES SCREECH.]
[KANE SIGHS.]
[CHUCKLES.]
[SIREN WAILING.]
No!