Marvel's Guardians Of The Galaxy (2015) s03e16 Episode Script

[Quill.]
Okay.
The good news is, we saved the shrunken Kree home world, which is expanding back to its normal size.
- The bad news - [computer.]
Self-destruct in two minutes.
is fairly self-explanatory.
[alarm blaring.]
This is it, everyone.
[clicks.]
Peter, wait.
Did you see that mirror - in the weapons vault? - You mind, Gamora? I'm trying to spend my final moments in this galaxy with some mid-'70s one-hit wonders.
They may not have to be your final moments.
That mirror is called the Black Vortex.
Thanos said it was an indestructible prison.
Drax approves of indestructible.
Yeah, well, Rocket don't approve of no prison.
- I am Groot.
- Good point, bud.
Ain't a prison in the galaxy I can't escape.
The thing is, this prison isn't exactly in the galaxy.
[alarm continues blaring.]
[Quill.]
I don't know, Gamora.
This thing looks, like, super evil.
- Self-destruct in 15 seconds.
- Who am I to judge? Everyone hold hands so we don't get separated.
I am Groot! [yelling.]
[yelling.]
[yelling.]
[groaning.]
Huh? O-kay.
What am I doing back here in the cockpit? Of my ship that blew up?! Guys? Hello? Anybody else feel weird? Wow.
Okay.
I gotta lay off the midnight snacks.
Oh, creepy but cool.
Hah! I suddenly feel very flexible.
[upbeat music.]
And speaking of flexible [chuckles.]
Ah! [chuckles.]
Oh, hey, Mr.
Quill, do you want to go careening into a black mirror prison? Oh.
Oh, no! [laughs.]
Sweet! I'm all Drax-jacked, without even working out.
[laughs, grunts.]
Whoa.
[groans.]
[blowing.]
[yells.]
[murmuring.]
[grunts.]
Oh, there.
Well, that's more like it.
[groans.]
Well, mostly more like it.
[alarm blares.]
Am I melting? [computer beeping.]
Yep, I'm melting.
Holy krutack, I'm melting! Okay, uh, I, uh, gotta cool the place down.
[techno music.]
[blows.]
Aw, turning to steam.
Stupid science! Eh.
Huh? Okay.
Look, there's gotta be some explanation for this.
[automated voice.]
Warning.
Ship is on collision course with unidentified sun.
Re-correct course or suffer a 27-million-degree fiery doom.
Not the explanation I was hoping for! [automated voice.]
Warning.
Ship on collision course with unidentified sun.
Prepare for incineration.
[laughter.]
Ah! Man, those are some graphic graphics.
I gotta turn this ship around before I'm Star-Lord soup! Oh, come on! Does everything have to be a taffy pull right now? [grunts.]
Oh snap, my arm! My arm just Huh.
Didn't even hurt.
Hah! Now I know how Groot feels.
Okay.
Easy there.
Easy there.
Oh, easy.
I need both my arms to turn this boat around.
[grunts.]
[annoyed grunt.]
Come on.
Give me a hand here.
Preferably mine! Really? [grunting.]
Let's go.
Let's go! This sun isn't getting any cooler! Please be a nice arm.
Come back.
I I promise I'll do more bicep curls, okay? Whoa! [groans.]
Get back here! [yells.]
[thud.]
[groans.]
[sighs.]
Yeah.
Very funny.
Ha-ha! Thought you could get the upper hand! [blows raspberry.]
Hey, that joke was a classic! Ow! Ow! Oh.
Give me a break here.
We're melting, remember? [slaps.]
[groaning.]
Ow! You know, if you're gonna struggle, I'm just gonna keep you at arm's length.
Which is no good when it's your own arm.
[groaning.]
Come on! [grunting.]
Ooh, wait.
Right there.
Now left.
A little lower.
Higher.
Higher.
Dang it, it moved! Lower again! [bell dings.]
[knuckles cracking.]
[blow lands.]
[birds chirping.]
Oh, a wise guy, huh? [Gamora on comm link.]
Quill.
Quill, do you read me? [groans.]
Gamora? Hang on, I'm here! Gamora, where are you? For that matter, where am I? We're inside the Black Vortex.
It's a prison dimension that can take on any form.
Would "any form" include being made of putty and careening toward a sun? Listen carefully, Quill.
You need to get a flower.
Now is not the time to brighten up the cockpit! [sighs.]
Focus, Quill.
I mean a Groot flower.
Oh.
Groot's branches seem to be functioning as some sort of divining rod.
Follow it, and it will bring us all together.
That sounds improbable, but so is being made of clay, so I'll give it a shot.
Hurry.
Yeah, that's not gonna be an issue.
Okay, branch, guide me out of here.
Seriously? You think you're gonna stop me from grabbing that branch? Hah! Yeah, nice try.
Too bad these Element Blasters only work for me.
Oh right! You are a part of me.
[grunts.]
[straining.]
Okay.
This is gonna hurt me more than it hurts you.
Probably.
This ends now.
We can either blast each other or melt together.
Your choice.
[distorted grunting.]
[grunts.]
There's gonna be a play at the plate! Here's the slide.
And he's safe! [grunting.]
Okay.
No way out below decks.
Well, maybe I can eject through the canopy.
[groans.]
This is like trying to escape from inside a S'more! - Quill! How's it going? - Not great.
I'm about to melt like a candy bar in my pocket.
To be continued.
I hope.
Gotta go! Okay, look, I get it.
You're mad.
I got the branch.
But we're running outta time here! If I melt, so do you! [yells.]
Aah! Help me out here.
What exactly do you want from me? Hey! Watch it! Oh.
Oh, wait, I get it.
We're on the same team.
You're trying to help! [bell dings.]
And if I melt myself, we can ooze on down the road before the ship burns up! [sighs.]
Oh, welcome home, buddy.
Okay, here goes nothing.
Oh, man.
Now I know how the candy bar in my pocket feels.
[Rocket.]
Yo, Groot.
Quill.
Gammy! Drax! Anybody? Where the flarg am I? [Gamora on comm link.]
You're inside the Black Vortex.
It's a prison dimension that can take on any form.
[sighs.]
Gamora.
You're a sound for sore ears.
Where are you? I'm not sure, but I think I know how we can find each other.
- Do you have your Groot branch? - Heh.
You kiddin' me? The creature ain't been born that could wrestle this - from my cold, lifeless paws.
- Make sure they don't.
If you follow the flower, it should bring us back together.
Good ol' Groot.
Still helpin' out by openin' a branch office.
Huh? I'm starting to feel funny.
[screams.]
I don't know what's going on, but this place is seriously flarged! Okay, branch, do your stuff and find me a way outta here.
[sniffing.]
[screams.]
Whoa! Hey, slow down! [screams, groans.]
[groans.]
Easy, boy! Heel! - This rug burn is fryin' my fur! - Ah! A bear! - I ain't no bear! [bird chirping.]
- Ah! A rodent! And I certainly ain't no ro Ho-ho-ho! [screams.]
Hello, exterminator? I need help! Exterminator? Hey, listen half-a-lady, you got it all wrong! [tires screeching.]
[footsteps approaching.]
[clank.]
Wait, I know this.
Oversized hammer Naw, it can't be.
I am Ronan, the Exterminator! And you are accused of being a bothersome pest.
[whimpering.]
[yelling.]
[grunts.]
Stop! [growling.]
[yelling.]
[hammer blows landing.]
Hah! Ya missed me! But I ain't gonna miss you! [whimpers.]
- Okay.
This ain't normal.
- Huh? [chuckles.]
I will cleanse you, vermin.
You're gonna have to catch me first! [crash.]
[groans.]
Wah! [screaming.]
Yeesh, take it easy, will ya? [screaming.]
[grunts, groans.]
Not sure I wanna know where I pulled this from.
[grunts.]
Resistance is futile, rodent! I will bring the hammer of justice down on your head.
Ain't my head I'm worried about.
And I ain't no rodent! [yelling.]
[grunts.]
[yelling.]
[grunting.]
[yelling.]
[crashing.]
Heh.
Not bad for pullin' stuff outta thin air.
It's like I'm in my own Pocket Dimension Storage Vial.
[sniffing.]
I think I actually got the hang of this place! Rocket, have you found Drax yet? Not yet.
This crazy branch is getting' me nowhere! Oh, so ya finally decided to do your job.
I suddenly feel very light on my feet.
Fine friend you turned out to be.
[heavy thud.]
[bird chirping.]
No more trash for me, Ma.
I'm full.
[babbling.]
Now where'd that no-good branch go? Huh? Heh.
Show-off.
Hey, come back here! [chuckles.]
Seriously? Big house, tiny rake? Like I'm dumb enough to fall for that gag.
[thud.]
[groans.]
[groaning.]
[sniffing.]
Now what do you want? Whoa.
[crying out.]
Uh-oh, I'm bein' tailed.
Let's see if this cartoon stuff really works.
[bell dinging.]
Whew.
[heavy thud.]
[groans.]
Seriously, what's up with gravity in this place? Whew.
Looks like I'm outta the woods.
Even though, you know, I'm still in the woods.
[screams.]
[whimpering.]
Okay tall, dark, and shadowy.
Enough already! Ow! Only one guy I know with a head that hard.
Drax! I found you! I would argue that your random blunt instruments found me first.
Why you gotta be so krutackin' literal all the time? Anyway, it's good to see your ugly mug.
[flower sniffing.]
I possess no such drinking receptacle.
[yells.]
Skip it! How'd ya find me? It appears that this Groot branch somehow led me to this strange place.
[both sniffing.]
Why didn't ya just tell me it was you? I got kinda spooked by your shadow followin' me around like that.
[laughing.]
Timid woodland creature! A shadow cannot harm you.
[laughs.]
- [Ronan.]
Excellent.
- Huh? [both scream.]
I now have two vermin to exterminate from this world.
Ronan! I shall exact my revenge! [grunts.]
[airplane whirring.]
[heavy crash.]
[laughs.]
Sorry, Drax, but that's hysterical! [laughs, groans.]
I will take these pieces of foliage as proof that I have cleansed this world of your presence.
[birds chirping.]
[both groaning.]
These tiny spacecraft are perplexing.
I do not understand this world.
We gotta get those branches back! Shake it off! And no, that's not a metaphor.
This means war.
[music.]
[grunts.]
Yoink! Hah! Too easy! [groans.]
Rocket was in front of you, then you were in front of him.
I still do not understand how this world works.
Or why I suddenly have this spear in my hand.
Whoa! [babbling.]
[groans.]
[chittering.]
[clatter.]
[cat yowls.]
[groans.]
[crashing.]
Sorry! [squealing.]
[yells, groans.]
You idiot! We're on the same side! - Sorry, I thought it was my turn.
- Eh, don't matter.
What's important is we got those branches back.
[Ronan.]
But not for long.
[growling.]
- Rocket? - Yeah? I hate to express concern, but does it bother you that we are headed for a certain demise off a cliff of undetermined height? Nah, this is exactly what we need.
[growling.]
Now, Drax, whatever you do, don't look down.
Why? What will happen if I look [growls.]
Oh I thought I told ya not to look down.
Sorry, I still do not understand this world.
Hmm.
Hmm? Mmm! [groans.]
- What do we do now? - Simple, my friend.
We iris out.
[cartoonish music.]
TO BE CONTINUED