Remington Steele (1982) s03e16 Episode Script
Steele in the Family
That man is an impostor.
- I'm Atomic Man.
- I love that man.
I'll kill ya before I'll let you destroy my creation! Atomic Man is wanted for murder.
I didn't realize the penalty for bad acting was that stiff in this country.
Duck! We know that Max didn't kill Spooner.
Well, you have to do one more thing.
- What's that? - You have to prove it.
But Miss Davenport has an airtight alibi.
Pick, pick.
Is that all you can do? If there are holes in this case, we'll plug 'em.
Television, Mildred, deadens the mind, corrupts the soul.
A laboratory experiment explodes transforming everyday scientist Mark Slate into the Atomic Man a force with such power the world has never known.
Mark uses his superhuman strength to rid the world of crime and injustice wherever he finds it in an endless battle to bring peace to mankind.
What you've just seen is a clip from the original Atomic Man TV series.
A series that, in spite of poor direction simplistic writing and, at best, adequate acting by the lead is enjoying phenomenal success in syndication today.
Why? Heroes.
People wanted them then.
People need them now.
When I first saw Atomic Man, I knew I would one day make it into a big-budget feature but only if I had the right actor.
My associate, Jennifer Davenport- and I scoured the country looking for the one man who could embody the virtues of the Atomic Man and yet still have the look of the '80s.
We didn't want just another hunk.
We wanted an actor with ability.
An actor with depth.
An actor with sincerity.
Ladies and gentlemen, the star of Atomic Man: The Movie Britt Bostwick.
Wait a minute.
! Wait a minute.
! Wait a minute.
! That man is an impostor.
I'm Atomic Man.
Uh, everybody, a hand for my surprise guest uh, a fine actor, who originally portrayed, uh, Atomic Man Maxwell Donahue.
You can't treat me this way.
I gave the best years of my life to that character.
I'm the only one who can play Atomic Man, and I'm the only one who will.
I love that man.
You're beautiful, Donahue.
Yeah.
Well, you're a treacherous snake, Spooner.
I'll kill ya before I'll let you destroy my creation! So, you really think it went well? They thought you were terrific.
They did, didn't they? Ah, I love this business.
You don't think that has-been Donahue brought things down, do you? - No.
The press ate it up.
- Yeah.
And did you hear the reaction when they heard I landed Roger Foreman to produce? Man's a legend.
Hasn't made a picture in a decade and he comes out of retirement to work with me.
- Is that beautiful? - Why didn't you tell me about Foreman? We're partners.
You direct, I produce.
That's what you said when we signed the papers.
Listen, baby.
It's not me.
We're talking a $25 million project.
The studio wanted somebody with experience.
Well, this whole project was my idea! I got the studio interested.
I got you involved.
I went to the mat to wrestle away the rights.
And I'm gonna take care of you, baby.
I'm thinking of making you my assistant.
My executive assistant.
Oh, so I can fetch your coffee and polish your ego? No, thanks.
Hey.
You don't want to be a part of this project, it's up to you.
It's not only the project, is it, Steven? It's us.
You're bored with me.
I always did have a short attention span.
You're not getting rid of me that easily.
Baby, you're gone.
Trumpet Fanfare.]
Though many evil forces have tried none have yet discovered the secret source of Atomic Man's great power.
Atomic Man? Uh, I was just waiting for the news.
You know, a quick look at the day's events, weather, stock market quotations.
Our client, uh, Mooney, the carpet king, is waiting in my office.
I hope you know your cut pile from your loop pile.
- I'll just gather my notes.
- Ah.
Go ahead and shoot.
You can't hurt me.
I'm Atomic Man.
I have a great power that radiates from inside me and cannot be extinguished.
Hmm.
Wonderfully dreadful.
That show is timeless.
- Fan, are you? - I used to watch it as a child.
Purported all the values that- that my mother wanted me to adopt: goodness, truth, justice- Chastity? As a matter of fact, it was those values that I had in mind when I created Remington Steele.
Oh.
Well, I'm not sure I like the fact that my origins have come from a comic book television hero.
It was that television hero who in some part inspired me to choose this profession.
Oh.
Well, lucky for Mr.
Mooney he had.
Now, uh, what say we join forces to, uh you know, do battle with the evil carpet thieves of the world, eh? Yeah.
Sorry, pal.
Your name's not on the list.
No.
No.
No.
It has to be.
Spooner's office called me no more than an hour ago.
You check with him.
You'll see.
All right.
Isn't that the loon they booted out of here? Steven Spooner's office.
No.
Absolutely not.
No.
The man has been harassing Mr.
Spooner for days.
Thank you.
Oh.
And-And be careful.
He has a violent temper.
- Sorry, pal.
- But this is ridiculous! I- I was told to get into my costume and come down here and see Spooner and that's exactly what I'm gonna do.
Hey.
Hey.
Sid! - Come on.
- Hey.
Hazel.
Would you mind doing my office now? I have an important call to make.
- I don't want to be interrupted.
- Oh.
Sure thing, Miss Davenport.
Thanks.
Hazel.
Can you see the time? My contacts are making everything blurry.
Oh.
Just in time for Atomic Man.
Hey.
Would you turn the set on, please? Oh.
Sure thing.
Go ahead and shoot.
The power of the atom is only realized when it is split.
- Hazel, I have to make that call now.
- Hmm? Oh.
Oh.
Sure thing, Miss Davenport.
Jennifer? And don't call me baby! Hey.
It's that kook we just tossed.
Ah.
Hazel, I'm sorry.
I am just so clumsy.
Oh.
Don't worry about it, Miss Davenport.
I'm running ahead of schedule tonight anyway.
And turning to the local scene And turning to the local scene all Hollywood is saddened by the tragic death of Steven Spooner who was murdered last night in his Studio City office.
The 25-year-old director was preparing his latest film, Atomic Man: The Movie.
Ironically, Maxwell Donahue, the actor who portrayed Atomic Man on television from 1961 to 1964 is being sought in connection with the crime.
Homicide detectiveJames Jarvis had this to say at the scene last night.
Well, things are still kind of sketchy, but we do have several eyewitnesses who claim they saw Mr.
Donahue running from the scene of the crime.
And, of course, he did threaten to kill Mr.
Spooner at a press conference earlier this week.
So, at the moment, he is our primary murder suspect and we will probably issue a murder arrest warrant.
Ah! Good morning! Yes! Ready to take a magic carpet ride into the fascinating world of- ta-da- floor coverings? Persian, Chinese, Turkish.
Huh? Ah.
Well, perhaps your interest lies in domestic tufts.
What would you say to a nice little American shag? Hello, nice little American shag.
- What's wrong, Laura? - Atomic Man is wanted for murder.
Really? I didn't realize the penalty for bad acting was that stiff in this country.
No.
Real murder.
The police are after him.
He's innocent, and he's being hunted down like an animal.
How do you know he's innocent? Atomic Man could never hurt anyone.
Laura, I realize how important Atomic Man was to you in your formative years but you must remember one thing.
- What's that? - He's just an actor in a silly suit.
You promised Mooney that we'd meet him there before 10:00 so it wouldn't interfere with those live television commercials he does, remember? - Right.
- I am? Poor man needs help.
He's alone.
Frightened.
If he can't get to us, we'll have to get to him.
- Are we still talking about the carpet king? - Come on.
Huh? - Steele.
Glad to see ya.
- Oh, good morning.
- Where's Miss Holt? - She- Well, uh, she was right behind me.
No doubt she's working on, uh, your security system.
- Well, the sooner we install it, the better.
- Ah.
Last week I had enough indoor-outdoor - stolen from this store alone to blanket the Astrodome.
- Oh.
And I've got 19 outlets.
- Oh.
Excuse me.
I have one of my commercials to do.
- Go ahead.
Yes.
Mr.
Mooney.
Theodore Mooney of Mooney's Carpets, where we've had happy customers since 1964.
We have a large selection ofbrand names in stock.
Lifkin, schlot, grob.
"Phlift, melmin, glim.
" Really, Laura! You've not only reverted to childhood, you've practically returned to the womb.
I had to let Max know I wanted to help.
Television seemed the best medium for the message.
"Lifkin, schlot, grob" is a message? With the Atomic Man decoder ring, yes.
- Oh, yes.
- Ay! - Remington Steele, uh- - Ah, ah, ah.
- Remington Steele Investigations.
Mildred? No, she's not here.
- Wait a- What makes you so sure this man's gonna call? The chances of him having seen this- Ah- - Allow me.
- I guess I could try some filing.
Steele here.
"Ziff.
" "Klimp.
" "Blerg," bler, bler, ble- It's for you.
Mr.
Donahue? Yes.
I'm Laura Holt.
I believe in your innocence, and I want to help.
- Is there a place that we can meet? - Mildred, I'm worried.
- Miss Holt? - Mm-hmm.
Usually she's the logical one.
I mean, everything by the book, allowing precious little time for emotions to creep in and cloud her perceptions.
Now look at her.
She's trading "blinks" and "blergs" with a homicidal actor.
- I'll see you there.
Good-bye.
- Ah, Laura, where are you going? - To meet Max.
- Laura, the man is dangerous.
He's already wanted by the police for murder.
- The Fugitive.
- Yes.
The fugitive, Maxwell Donahue.
No.
The Fugitive.
David Janssen.
A Quinn Martin Production.
- 1963 to 1967.
- Mm-hmm.
Mildred, you're an American.
What's she talking about? - It's an old television series.
- Oh.
David Janssen played a man running from the police for a murder he didn't commit.
- He'd been framed.
- And that's what you're basing his innocence on? - A television show? - How many times have I followed you blindly just because you thought one of our cases bore a faint resemblance to the plot of some silly movie? Press on, Miss Holt.
I'm with you every step of the way.
Ah, just one moment.
Where does one find an Atomic Man? - They call themselves "Tommies.
" - Oh, really? - They're all fans of the show.
- Mm-hmm.
A few times a year they get together- Ooh! Laura.
No costume this year.
I'm sure you look positively fetching in your little cape and bootees, eh? - Whoo.
- Never mind that.
We've gotta find Max.
Oh, yeah.
And how do you propose we do that in this sea of duplicates? We won't have to.
He just found us.
Miss Holt? And this is my boss, Remington Steele.
- Hello.
- He's a very famous private detective and he wants to help you very much.
Yes.
Miss Holt has convinced me that you're the David Janssen of your time.
Uh, thank you both, really, for believing in me.
Are you sure you weren't followed here? Well, a couple of cops chased me, but I shook 'em off.
I'm still pretty fast on my feet.
I do a little jogging and work out.
You know, this damn costume- It shows every bulge and ripple.
Yes.
Well, apparently you weren't fast enough.
Have a look, Laura.
- Jarvis.
! - Mm-hmm.
You two slip out the front.
I'll occupy the Huckleberry Finn of Homicide.
Okay? Go.
Ah! DetectiveJarvis.
Good to see you! Remember me? - Mr.
Steele! Mr.
Steele! - Yes.
- Hey! I haven't seen you since- - You hounded me for a murder I didn't commit.
Remember that? Hey.
Tell me.
Are you a Tommie too? Hmm? - Hmm? - Oh.
No.
No, no.
Actually, I'm working on a case.
Oh, I see.
Fascinating.
Tell me all about it, Detective.
Please do.
Hmm? Say, isn't that Miss Holt? What? No.
No, no, no, no.
It is, and I think she has something I'm after.
Look, everybody.
It's JimmyJones! JimmyJones, right here! JimmyJones, right here! Coming.
Coming! DetectiveJarvis, what a surprise.
I want Maxwell Donahue.
- He's innocent.
- He threatened to kill Steven Spooner.
- He was spotted leaving the scene of the crime.
- Circumstantial.
His fingerprints were on the murder weapon.
- Now, I suggest you get him to the nearest police station.
As quickly as possible.
Otherwise you'll be looking at a few charges yourself.
Such as? Obstructing justice, aiding and abetting a fugitive, accessory after the fact.
- How does that sound so far? - Impressive.
It's a very nice place you've got here.
It's light and airy.
And a hell of a lot more spacious than a jail cell.
Is there no way you can prove Spooner wanted to see you in costume, at precisely Uh, n-no.
I- I already told you.
His secretary called me about 9:30.
She said she went home at 6:00 and her time card backs her up.
- Somebody called me.
- It doesn't look good, Max.
- Oh.
Uh, if you think that looks bad- - Mm-hmm? wait till you hear this.
The murder weapon- - What about it? - Uh, well, it, uh- uh, just may have my fingerprints on it.
Well, how can that be? It was a prop in the show, and- and when I read that, uh, Spooner was gonna do the movie version, I sent it to him.
My way of reminding him that I was Atomic Man.
Good heavens, Max.
The more you explain, the worse it sounds.
Mr.
Steele, please.
Believe me.
I'm not a murderer.
I'm just an actor who wants to act.
Atomic Man was probably the best and the worst thing that ever happened to me.
As a struggling actor, it was great.
The money was good.
Put food on the table.
Sent a couple of nieces through college.
But then- - The series got canceled? - Yeah.
And I couldn't get arrested.
I mean, it didn't seem to matter to anybody that I played Hamlet, I played Tartuffe- Uh, won rave notices from the San Francisco Theater Guild.
No.
I was Atomic Man, and they didn't think I could play anything else.
But, you know, in the long run it really didn't seem to matter because everywhere I went, people still thought of me as a hero.
I liked that.
Yes.
Well, it can be addictive, can't it? Hmm.
Mr.
Steele, don't you see? If I killed someone, I'd lose the only thing I have left from my career: my reputation.
You understand that.
You're a hero.
The amazing sleuth who's never been stumped.
Yes.
Well, that's me all right, isn't it? Hmm.
Of course, the only difference between us is that you really are Remington Steele.
I'm just an actor playing a part.
Well, we're all actors, Max, at one time or another.
Some of us just have better roles.
What now, chief? When Jarvis comes up empty at Miss Holt's, he's sure to look for him here.
Hmm.
Well, Mildred, what Max needs is a new costume.
This is my security system? Simply a provisional measure until Mr.
Steele can install the electronic surveillance and protection hardware.
But I have 19 stores! Oh.
And we will take care of each and every one of them.
I assure you.
Now, Officer Kimble here is merely here to provide uninterrupted service in the interim.
One officer? He's the best in the business.
And we're prepared to provide round-the-clock protection if you have a place for him to stay.
There's a storeroom in the back.
Follow me.
What'd you say your name was? You look very familiar.
Uh, Kimble.
Kimble.
Oh.
Oh.
I'm- I'm sorry.
I- I didn't expect to find anyone in here.
- I'm Laura Holt.
- Jennifer Davenport.
- Can I help you? - Yes.
I'm a private investigator working on the Steven Spooner murder case.
I thought the police had their man.
Well, there are a few things that don't quite add up.
- Such as? - Uh, you and Steven Spooner were partners, yes? Steven and I were united in every sense of the word.
Well, I'm- I'm surprised, after a loss like that, you wouldn't- close down for a while.
Well, rather than suffer depression, I choose to bury myself in work.
- Steven would have wanted it that way.
- Ah.
I'm dedicating the picture to him, of course.
Ooh.
! - Geez.
- Uh- Oh.
Ladies.
Lovely day, isn't it? Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Oh, oh, oh.
Mind your hand, Miss Holt.
- Um, Remington Steele.
- Hello.
- Odd.
- To say the least.
That trellis couldn't support me but supposedly held up fine under Maxwell Donahue, who has me by pounds.
Another thing that doesn't quite add up.
You keep saying that, Miss Holt.
Now, what exactly troubles you about Max's guilt aside from the fact that you're obviously working for him? Well, for one, uh why throw the murder weapon with your fingerprints on it through a window and alert witnesses to your presence at the scene? - Well, the man panicked.
- That doesn't explain why he wore his Atomic Man costume to commit a crime.
I mean, hardly an ideal way to conceal his identity, is it? Or why he showed up at the main gate instead of simply climbing over a wall.
You have a great many questions.
Do you- Do you have answers to go with them? Uh, no.
Not yet.
But the most important thing is we know that Max didn't kill Spooner.
Now all we have to do is figure out who did.
Well, you have to do one more thing.
- Oh? - Really? What's that? You have to prove it.
She did it.
I know she did it.
But what's her motive? I thought she and Spooner were cozy under the covers as well as business partners.
It's there, Mildred.
All we have to do is dig it up.
Laura, I hate to be a wet blanket but Miss Davenport has an airtight alibi.
- Ah- - The cleaning lady puts her in her office at 11:00 precisely the time the studio guard saw the killer climbing down the trellis.
Pick, pick.
Is that all you can do? If there are holes in this case, we'll plug 'em.
Laura, you're going off half-cocked, letting your emotions cloud your judgment.
I say we sit down, look at this calmly, logically.
Good Lord.
I'm beginning to sound like you, and you're beginning to sound like me.
Nice change of pace, isn't it? You establish thatJennifer was the one who called Max while I punch some holes in her alibi.
Television, Mildred, deadens the mind, corrupts the soul.
Hmm.
- Max? - Yeah.
Officer Kimble here.
May I help you? It's Steele.
Uh, you can't be too careful.
Max, would you recognize the voice that told you to come to the studio the night of the murder? Oh, uh, gee.
I- I don't know.
Say yes, Max.
We're desperate.
What is it now, Mr.
Steele? Oh.
Uh, I just thought I'd give you a call to see how you're faring up.
How do you think I'm faring, with the man I loved brutally murdered? Mozart! When the woman called, there was music playing in the background, just like that.
- What about the voice? - Mr.
Steele.
- Are you still there? - I'd stake my life on it.
You are.
Miss- Miss Davenport, rest assured.
Uh, we're closing in on this murderer even as we speak.
Yes.
Good day.
Good work, Max.
Now, back to your roll ends and remnants.
Go on, mate.
Fact: Steven Spooner was going to have you replaced as producer of the Atomic Man movie.
I'm a great admirer of Roger Foreman.
I think he'll add a lot to the production.
Fact: Your contract with Spooner for the Atomic Man rights carried a survivorship clause which means now that he's dead, you own it all.
His lawyer insisted on that clause.
Fact: Maxwell Donahue recognized your voice as the one who called him to the studio the night of the murder! A desperate man will say anything.
Under the circumstances, which one of us do you think the police will believe? You killed Steven Spooner! I was watching Atomic Man with Hazel at the exact moment Maxwell Donahue dispatched my beloved to that great soundstage in the sky.
Well, she has you there.
Only for the moment.
There's got to be a way to nail her for Spooner's murder.
So long as Hazel swears she was watching television with her we're gonna have a hell of a time proving she's guilty.
That's it.
The time.
She changed the time.
Mmm.
Nice try, Laura, but the station broadcasts Atomic Man at, uh, 11:00.
Columbo.
Peter Falk.
Universal Studios, 1975.
In an episode entitled "Playback," Oskar Werner kills his mother-in-law.
He seems to have the perfect alibi until Columbo discovers he used a videotape to alter the apparent time of the murder.
Are you suggesting Spooner wasn't killed at 11:00? No.
I'm saying Hazel wasn't with Jennifer at 11:00.
She only thought she was because Atomic Man was on.
But she was actually watching a tape.
Now all we have to do is find that tape.
If Columbo can do it, so can we.
The Fugitive.
Columbo.
- Really, Laura.
I'm learning more about television than I care to.
- Shh.
Come on.
Okay.
Let's go.
Have a look.
She had the means.
And the tape.
Shh, shh.
Shh, shh, shh, shh.
Psst.
I suggest we watch this one at home.
Come on.
Quick.
Let's go.
Go.
Max.
- Max.
- I warn you.
I'm armed- - and dangerous.
- It's Laura Holt.
Oh.
Miss Holt.
Uh- What are you doing here? I thought it was time you finally heard some good news.
- We're this close to clearing you.
- Oh, that's wonderful.
Atomic Man triumphs again.
Oh, no, no.
No, no.
I'm a- I'm afraid Atomic Man had very little to do with this triumph.
Oh, I don't know.
He gave me the inspiration to press on with the case.
Well, now, you know, it's- It's fans like you that have kept me going all these years.
I was, uh- I was four when the show first came on.
I couldn't even pronounce Atomic Man.
It came out Tom Mix Man.
And-And that's what my father always called it.
I used to- I used to climb up on his lap and we'd sit there, the two of us entranced by your exploits.
And I'd always cry when the show was over.
I wanted more.
Yeah.
So did I.
After the first season, my father wasn't around very much.
He and my mother- Ay.
That's, uh, how marriages go after a while, you know.
I guess he found more and more excuses to stay away from the house.
So, I'd have to climb up into his chair and watch you all by myself.
But I always made believe I was sitting in my daddy's lap with his arms around me the smell of his aftershave in my nostrils and we were both watching.
You gave me a lot of happiness, Max and a lot of memories I could call on after my father finally left for good.
- Where are you going? - To call the police.
Max, you're a fugitive.
Lie low.
Hide.
Laura, duck.
! My hero.
- First-rate, Kimble.
- Thank you, sir.
Congratulations.
You're both under arrest.
Ah.
Miss Holt.
Mr.
Steele has made your bail.
Would you please get Miss Holt's personal effects? Really, Miss Holt.
I'm absolutely astounded by your behavior.
I'm seriously gonna have to consider your position within this agency.
After all, I have my reputation to maintain.
- Good, huh? - You got the wrong man, Jarvis.
That's not what the evidence says.
Max was framed byJennifer Davenport.
I'll prove it.
Are you going to bully a confession out of her? Gee, I don't know if there's enough room on this sheet for harassment.
I assure you.
Miss Holt will not break any laws from now on.
I promise you of that.
A good doctor, the proper drugs, a little shock therapy- She'll be good as new.
I promise you.
Thank you.
Okay.
Check 'em and sign for 'em.
- What's this? - That's just something I bought at the Atomic Man convention.
You really ought to have 'em take off the studio property sticker next time.
It kind of makes it look stolen.
We are not looking at a breaking-and-entering charge here, are we, Miss Holt? Uh I think I'm gonna hang onto it just until the morning.
I just want to make sure Miss Davenport's collection is complete.
Uh, perhaps we can see the prisoner now.
Hmm? Things couldn't look better, Max.
You ought to see it from this side.
We know who killed Spooner.
- That's great.
- And with your help, we're going to prove it.
How can I help? By giving the performance of your life, mate.
Okay.
Mr.
Donahue since it is your confession, please start wherever you like.
It all started at a 5,000-watt radio station.
I was- Mr.
Donahue, I meant the night of the murder.
Oh.
Oh.
Um-Well, um after the guards, uh, tossed me off the lot, I, uh- uh, I doubled back and I jumped the fence.
I landed in a clump of hydrangea.
Hmm.
Looked around to make sure no one was watching and I slipped into the production building.
I crept down the hall.
One step at a time.
Planning, plotting knowing what I had to do.
Knowing what I'd been driven to do.
I arrived at Steven Spooner's office and I flung open the door! - There! - Make sure you get all of this! There sat Steven Spooner, the man who told me I was too old to be a superhero.
Then I saw it.
May I? My atomic scepter.
Actually, uh, this looks more like my proton rod.
Uh, anyway I took the scepter in my hand and it felt good.
And I crept up on Spooner and I hit him! - It's locked.
- Do something.
Max is going into his big finish.
Come on.
But I missed.
This made Spooner angry.
So, um, we fought.
Ha, ha! Uh, I- I struggled- and he struggled, and I- and I choked him! Yes.
I mean, no.
He died from a blow to the head.
- Then obviously I'm not the murderer.
- What are you talking about? Uh, well, I say I choked him, and you say I hit him.
One of us better get our story straight.
Oh.
Max was nothing short of brilliant tonight.
You see? Maybe television isn't the vast wasteland you think it is.
Hmm.
Perhaps I misjudged the medium.
An evil man, the Commandant dedicates his- Then again- Hmm.
Well- I don't mean to dampen your spirits, Lieutenant Columbo but the fact thatJennifer has a tape of Atomic Man - doesn't prove she played it the night of the murder.
- One thing at a time.
- Mmm.
- What's gotten into you anyway? You used to have such flair, such style.
- Always ready to take a chance, play a hunch.
- Hmm.
Well, one of us has to keep our feet on the ground, Laura.
You're really enjoying this role reversal, aren't you? Punching holes in my theories, threatening me with shock therapy.
Ah.
Merely trying to keep you from going off the deep end.
Unless, of course, uh, you'd like company.
Mmm.
Shut up and watch.
Go ahead and shoot.
The power of the atom is only realized when it is split.
Oh, dear God.
It's still the same.
I keep hoping I'll wake up, and I'll be watching Gone with the Wind or even Heaven's Gate.
Oh.
I'm sorry, Miss Holt but it took me a while to find anybody working at the station this early.
Now, here's the broadcast tape of the Atomic Man show.
Great.
I'm gonna have a shower, Mildred.
An evil man, the Commandant dedicates his life to the task of destroying the Atomic Man and all that is good.
What are we looking for? I'll let you know when we find it.
That's fair.
- Aha! - Aha? Aha what? Throw a towel on Mr.
Steele, Mildred.
We're going to make mincemeat out of a murderess.
You almost got away with it.
You had everything figured.
Everything except this tape.
I hope this dreadfully boring woman has a point to all this, DetectiveJarvis.
I gave up a racquetball game to be here today.
The least we can do is hear her out- before I bust her for stealing police property.
We simply borrowed it, Detective.
Steven Spooner dumped you.
You knew eliminating him would save your career.
Having seen Max at the press conference you knew you had the perfect scapegoat so you proceeded with the perfect crime.
You used a prop you knew Max had handled and then threw it out the window to attract attention.
When the guards saw you in your borrowed costume they naturally assumed you were Max.
How many ways can I say it? I was right here in this office, watching TVwith Hazel.
Ah, yes.
The perfect alibi.
And it was perfect.
Almost.
Like they say in Hollywood, Miss Holt, cut to the chase, eh? It was easy to figure out that you'd set the clock in your office ahead.
And playing a tape of Atomic Man for Hazel was brilliant.
Hazel.
Handy gadgets, these remote controls.
Watch very carefully.
Hazel, do you remember seeing this scene? Sure do.
- Miss Davenport? - Of course.
I was right here with Hazel.
- Is all this leading somewhere? - Really, Detective.
Forgetting Miss Holt's criminal tendency she is still a brilliant investigator- brilliant.
Laura, is all this leading somewhere? Good.
Good, good, good.
Here's how the show aired that night.
That's impossible.
No, Miss Davenport.
That's syndication.
When a program is broadcast for a local station its length is edited to allow for more commercials.
The scene you both claim you saw was unceremoniously cut in the middle.
You and your Atomic Man.
A killer caught by a lousy television show and a rotten commercial.
There's something poetic about that.
Although for the life of me, I can't think what.
Y- I- I- I just don't know how to thank you.
You never lost faith in me.
Well, after all, you are the Atomic Man, eh? Oh, no.
Not anymore.
Ooh.
Sorry to hear they killed the movie project.
No.
Don't- Don't be.
Uh, my agent just called and he's got me the title role in a new TV series.
- Laser Man.
- Oh! Hey, Max.
Well done.
I must say, Max.
Since I've known you I've developed a deeper satisfaction and gratification for the small screen.
You know something? Y-You're not, uh, such a bad-looking guy yourself.
You, uh, ever consider an acting career?
- I'm Atomic Man.
- I love that man.
I'll kill ya before I'll let you destroy my creation! Atomic Man is wanted for murder.
I didn't realize the penalty for bad acting was that stiff in this country.
Duck! We know that Max didn't kill Spooner.
Well, you have to do one more thing.
- What's that? - You have to prove it.
But Miss Davenport has an airtight alibi.
Pick, pick.
Is that all you can do? If there are holes in this case, we'll plug 'em.
Television, Mildred, deadens the mind, corrupts the soul.
A laboratory experiment explodes transforming everyday scientist Mark Slate into the Atomic Man a force with such power the world has never known.
Mark uses his superhuman strength to rid the world of crime and injustice wherever he finds it in an endless battle to bring peace to mankind.
What you've just seen is a clip from the original Atomic Man TV series.
A series that, in spite of poor direction simplistic writing and, at best, adequate acting by the lead is enjoying phenomenal success in syndication today.
Why? Heroes.
People wanted them then.
People need them now.
When I first saw Atomic Man, I knew I would one day make it into a big-budget feature but only if I had the right actor.
My associate, Jennifer Davenport- and I scoured the country looking for the one man who could embody the virtues of the Atomic Man and yet still have the look of the '80s.
We didn't want just another hunk.
We wanted an actor with ability.
An actor with depth.
An actor with sincerity.
Ladies and gentlemen, the star of Atomic Man: The Movie Britt Bostwick.
Wait a minute.
! Wait a minute.
! Wait a minute.
! That man is an impostor.
I'm Atomic Man.
Uh, everybody, a hand for my surprise guest uh, a fine actor, who originally portrayed, uh, Atomic Man Maxwell Donahue.
You can't treat me this way.
I gave the best years of my life to that character.
I'm the only one who can play Atomic Man, and I'm the only one who will.
I love that man.
You're beautiful, Donahue.
Yeah.
Well, you're a treacherous snake, Spooner.
I'll kill ya before I'll let you destroy my creation! So, you really think it went well? They thought you were terrific.
They did, didn't they? Ah, I love this business.
You don't think that has-been Donahue brought things down, do you? - No.
The press ate it up.
- Yeah.
And did you hear the reaction when they heard I landed Roger Foreman to produce? Man's a legend.
Hasn't made a picture in a decade and he comes out of retirement to work with me.
- Is that beautiful? - Why didn't you tell me about Foreman? We're partners.
You direct, I produce.
That's what you said when we signed the papers.
Listen, baby.
It's not me.
We're talking a $25 million project.
The studio wanted somebody with experience.
Well, this whole project was my idea! I got the studio interested.
I got you involved.
I went to the mat to wrestle away the rights.
And I'm gonna take care of you, baby.
I'm thinking of making you my assistant.
My executive assistant.
Oh, so I can fetch your coffee and polish your ego? No, thanks.
Hey.
You don't want to be a part of this project, it's up to you.
It's not only the project, is it, Steven? It's us.
You're bored with me.
I always did have a short attention span.
You're not getting rid of me that easily.
Baby, you're gone.
Trumpet Fanfare.]
Though many evil forces have tried none have yet discovered the secret source of Atomic Man's great power.
Atomic Man? Uh, I was just waiting for the news.
You know, a quick look at the day's events, weather, stock market quotations.
Our client, uh, Mooney, the carpet king, is waiting in my office.
I hope you know your cut pile from your loop pile.
- I'll just gather my notes.
- Ah.
Go ahead and shoot.
You can't hurt me.
I'm Atomic Man.
I have a great power that radiates from inside me and cannot be extinguished.
Hmm.
Wonderfully dreadful.
That show is timeless.
- Fan, are you? - I used to watch it as a child.
Purported all the values that- that my mother wanted me to adopt: goodness, truth, justice- Chastity? As a matter of fact, it was those values that I had in mind when I created Remington Steele.
Oh.
Well, I'm not sure I like the fact that my origins have come from a comic book television hero.
It was that television hero who in some part inspired me to choose this profession.
Oh.
Well, lucky for Mr.
Mooney he had.
Now, uh, what say we join forces to, uh you know, do battle with the evil carpet thieves of the world, eh? Yeah.
Sorry, pal.
Your name's not on the list.
No.
No.
No.
It has to be.
Spooner's office called me no more than an hour ago.
You check with him.
You'll see.
All right.
Isn't that the loon they booted out of here? Steven Spooner's office.
No.
Absolutely not.
No.
The man has been harassing Mr.
Spooner for days.
Thank you.
Oh.
And-And be careful.
He has a violent temper.
- Sorry, pal.
- But this is ridiculous! I- I was told to get into my costume and come down here and see Spooner and that's exactly what I'm gonna do.
Hey.
Hey.
Sid! - Come on.
- Hey.
Hazel.
Would you mind doing my office now? I have an important call to make.
- I don't want to be interrupted.
- Oh.
Sure thing, Miss Davenport.
Thanks.
Hazel.
Can you see the time? My contacts are making everything blurry.
Oh.
Just in time for Atomic Man.
Hey.
Would you turn the set on, please? Oh.
Sure thing.
Go ahead and shoot.
The power of the atom is only realized when it is split.
- Hazel, I have to make that call now.
- Hmm? Oh.
Oh.
Sure thing, Miss Davenport.
Jennifer? And don't call me baby! Hey.
It's that kook we just tossed.
Ah.
Hazel, I'm sorry.
I am just so clumsy.
Oh.
Don't worry about it, Miss Davenport.
I'm running ahead of schedule tonight anyway.
And turning to the local scene And turning to the local scene all Hollywood is saddened by the tragic death of Steven Spooner who was murdered last night in his Studio City office.
The 25-year-old director was preparing his latest film, Atomic Man: The Movie.
Ironically, Maxwell Donahue, the actor who portrayed Atomic Man on television from 1961 to 1964 is being sought in connection with the crime.
Homicide detectiveJames Jarvis had this to say at the scene last night.
Well, things are still kind of sketchy, but we do have several eyewitnesses who claim they saw Mr.
Donahue running from the scene of the crime.
And, of course, he did threaten to kill Mr.
Spooner at a press conference earlier this week.
So, at the moment, he is our primary murder suspect and we will probably issue a murder arrest warrant.
Ah! Good morning! Yes! Ready to take a magic carpet ride into the fascinating world of- ta-da- floor coverings? Persian, Chinese, Turkish.
Huh? Ah.
Well, perhaps your interest lies in domestic tufts.
What would you say to a nice little American shag? Hello, nice little American shag.
- What's wrong, Laura? - Atomic Man is wanted for murder.
Really? I didn't realize the penalty for bad acting was that stiff in this country.
No.
Real murder.
The police are after him.
He's innocent, and he's being hunted down like an animal.
How do you know he's innocent? Atomic Man could never hurt anyone.
Laura, I realize how important Atomic Man was to you in your formative years but you must remember one thing.
- What's that? - He's just an actor in a silly suit.
You promised Mooney that we'd meet him there before 10:00 so it wouldn't interfere with those live television commercials he does, remember? - Right.
- I am? Poor man needs help.
He's alone.
Frightened.
If he can't get to us, we'll have to get to him.
- Are we still talking about the carpet king? - Come on.
Huh? - Steele.
Glad to see ya.
- Oh, good morning.
- Where's Miss Holt? - She- Well, uh, she was right behind me.
No doubt she's working on, uh, your security system.
- Well, the sooner we install it, the better.
- Ah.
Last week I had enough indoor-outdoor - stolen from this store alone to blanket the Astrodome.
- Oh.
And I've got 19 outlets.
- Oh.
Excuse me.
I have one of my commercials to do.
- Go ahead.
Yes.
Mr.
Mooney.
Theodore Mooney of Mooney's Carpets, where we've had happy customers since 1964.
We have a large selection ofbrand names in stock.
Lifkin, schlot, grob.
"Phlift, melmin, glim.
" Really, Laura! You've not only reverted to childhood, you've practically returned to the womb.
I had to let Max know I wanted to help.
Television seemed the best medium for the message.
"Lifkin, schlot, grob" is a message? With the Atomic Man decoder ring, yes.
- Oh, yes.
- Ay! - Remington Steele, uh- - Ah, ah, ah.
- Remington Steele Investigations.
Mildred? No, she's not here.
- Wait a- What makes you so sure this man's gonna call? The chances of him having seen this- Ah- - Allow me.
- I guess I could try some filing.
Steele here.
"Ziff.
" "Klimp.
" "Blerg," bler, bler, ble- It's for you.
Mr.
Donahue? Yes.
I'm Laura Holt.
I believe in your innocence, and I want to help.
- Is there a place that we can meet? - Mildred, I'm worried.
- Miss Holt? - Mm-hmm.
Usually she's the logical one.
I mean, everything by the book, allowing precious little time for emotions to creep in and cloud her perceptions.
Now look at her.
She's trading "blinks" and "blergs" with a homicidal actor.
- I'll see you there.
Good-bye.
- Ah, Laura, where are you going? - To meet Max.
- Laura, the man is dangerous.
He's already wanted by the police for murder.
- The Fugitive.
- Yes.
The fugitive, Maxwell Donahue.
No.
The Fugitive.
David Janssen.
A Quinn Martin Production.
- 1963 to 1967.
- Mm-hmm.
Mildred, you're an American.
What's she talking about? - It's an old television series.
- Oh.
David Janssen played a man running from the police for a murder he didn't commit.
- He'd been framed.
- And that's what you're basing his innocence on? - A television show? - How many times have I followed you blindly just because you thought one of our cases bore a faint resemblance to the plot of some silly movie? Press on, Miss Holt.
I'm with you every step of the way.
Ah, just one moment.
Where does one find an Atomic Man? - They call themselves "Tommies.
" - Oh, really? - They're all fans of the show.
- Mm-hmm.
A few times a year they get together- Ooh! Laura.
No costume this year.
I'm sure you look positively fetching in your little cape and bootees, eh? - Whoo.
- Never mind that.
We've gotta find Max.
Oh, yeah.
And how do you propose we do that in this sea of duplicates? We won't have to.
He just found us.
Miss Holt? And this is my boss, Remington Steele.
- Hello.
- He's a very famous private detective and he wants to help you very much.
Yes.
Miss Holt has convinced me that you're the David Janssen of your time.
Uh, thank you both, really, for believing in me.
Are you sure you weren't followed here? Well, a couple of cops chased me, but I shook 'em off.
I'm still pretty fast on my feet.
I do a little jogging and work out.
You know, this damn costume- It shows every bulge and ripple.
Yes.
Well, apparently you weren't fast enough.
Have a look, Laura.
- Jarvis.
! - Mm-hmm.
You two slip out the front.
I'll occupy the Huckleberry Finn of Homicide.
Okay? Go.
Ah! DetectiveJarvis.
Good to see you! Remember me? - Mr.
Steele! Mr.
Steele! - Yes.
- Hey! I haven't seen you since- - You hounded me for a murder I didn't commit.
Remember that? Hey.
Tell me.
Are you a Tommie too? Hmm? - Hmm? - Oh.
No.
No, no.
Actually, I'm working on a case.
Oh, I see.
Fascinating.
Tell me all about it, Detective.
Please do.
Hmm? Say, isn't that Miss Holt? What? No.
No, no, no, no.
It is, and I think she has something I'm after.
Look, everybody.
It's JimmyJones! JimmyJones, right here! JimmyJones, right here! Coming.
Coming! DetectiveJarvis, what a surprise.
I want Maxwell Donahue.
- He's innocent.
- He threatened to kill Steven Spooner.
- He was spotted leaving the scene of the crime.
- Circumstantial.
His fingerprints were on the murder weapon.
- Now, I suggest you get him to the nearest police station.
As quickly as possible.
Otherwise you'll be looking at a few charges yourself.
Such as? Obstructing justice, aiding and abetting a fugitive, accessory after the fact.
- How does that sound so far? - Impressive.
It's a very nice place you've got here.
It's light and airy.
And a hell of a lot more spacious than a jail cell.
Is there no way you can prove Spooner wanted to see you in costume, at precisely Uh, n-no.
I- I already told you.
His secretary called me about 9:30.
She said she went home at 6:00 and her time card backs her up.
- Somebody called me.
- It doesn't look good, Max.
- Oh.
Uh, if you think that looks bad- - Mm-hmm? wait till you hear this.
The murder weapon- - What about it? - Uh, well, it, uh- uh, just may have my fingerprints on it.
Well, how can that be? It was a prop in the show, and- and when I read that, uh, Spooner was gonna do the movie version, I sent it to him.
My way of reminding him that I was Atomic Man.
Good heavens, Max.
The more you explain, the worse it sounds.
Mr.
Steele, please.
Believe me.
I'm not a murderer.
I'm just an actor who wants to act.
Atomic Man was probably the best and the worst thing that ever happened to me.
As a struggling actor, it was great.
The money was good.
Put food on the table.
Sent a couple of nieces through college.
But then- - The series got canceled? - Yeah.
And I couldn't get arrested.
I mean, it didn't seem to matter to anybody that I played Hamlet, I played Tartuffe- Uh, won rave notices from the San Francisco Theater Guild.
No.
I was Atomic Man, and they didn't think I could play anything else.
But, you know, in the long run it really didn't seem to matter because everywhere I went, people still thought of me as a hero.
I liked that.
Yes.
Well, it can be addictive, can't it? Hmm.
Mr.
Steele, don't you see? If I killed someone, I'd lose the only thing I have left from my career: my reputation.
You understand that.
You're a hero.
The amazing sleuth who's never been stumped.
Yes.
Well, that's me all right, isn't it? Hmm.
Of course, the only difference between us is that you really are Remington Steele.
I'm just an actor playing a part.
Well, we're all actors, Max, at one time or another.
Some of us just have better roles.
What now, chief? When Jarvis comes up empty at Miss Holt's, he's sure to look for him here.
Hmm.
Well, Mildred, what Max needs is a new costume.
This is my security system? Simply a provisional measure until Mr.
Steele can install the electronic surveillance and protection hardware.
But I have 19 stores! Oh.
And we will take care of each and every one of them.
I assure you.
Now, Officer Kimble here is merely here to provide uninterrupted service in the interim.
One officer? He's the best in the business.
And we're prepared to provide round-the-clock protection if you have a place for him to stay.
There's a storeroom in the back.
Follow me.
What'd you say your name was? You look very familiar.
Uh, Kimble.
Kimble.
Oh.
Oh.
I'm- I'm sorry.
I- I didn't expect to find anyone in here.
- I'm Laura Holt.
- Jennifer Davenport.
- Can I help you? - Yes.
I'm a private investigator working on the Steven Spooner murder case.
I thought the police had their man.
Well, there are a few things that don't quite add up.
- Such as? - Uh, you and Steven Spooner were partners, yes? Steven and I were united in every sense of the word.
Well, I'm- I'm surprised, after a loss like that, you wouldn't- close down for a while.
Well, rather than suffer depression, I choose to bury myself in work.
- Steven would have wanted it that way.
- Ah.
I'm dedicating the picture to him, of course.
Ooh.
! - Geez.
- Uh- Oh.
Ladies.
Lovely day, isn't it? Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Oh, oh, oh.
Mind your hand, Miss Holt.
- Um, Remington Steele.
- Hello.
- Odd.
- To say the least.
That trellis couldn't support me but supposedly held up fine under Maxwell Donahue, who has me by pounds.
Another thing that doesn't quite add up.
You keep saying that, Miss Holt.
Now, what exactly troubles you about Max's guilt aside from the fact that you're obviously working for him? Well, for one, uh why throw the murder weapon with your fingerprints on it through a window and alert witnesses to your presence at the scene? - Well, the man panicked.
- That doesn't explain why he wore his Atomic Man costume to commit a crime.
I mean, hardly an ideal way to conceal his identity, is it? Or why he showed up at the main gate instead of simply climbing over a wall.
You have a great many questions.
Do you- Do you have answers to go with them? Uh, no.
Not yet.
But the most important thing is we know that Max didn't kill Spooner.
Now all we have to do is figure out who did.
Well, you have to do one more thing.
- Oh? - Really? What's that? You have to prove it.
She did it.
I know she did it.
But what's her motive? I thought she and Spooner were cozy under the covers as well as business partners.
It's there, Mildred.
All we have to do is dig it up.
Laura, I hate to be a wet blanket but Miss Davenport has an airtight alibi.
- Ah- - The cleaning lady puts her in her office at 11:00 precisely the time the studio guard saw the killer climbing down the trellis.
Pick, pick.
Is that all you can do? If there are holes in this case, we'll plug 'em.
Laura, you're going off half-cocked, letting your emotions cloud your judgment.
I say we sit down, look at this calmly, logically.
Good Lord.
I'm beginning to sound like you, and you're beginning to sound like me.
Nice change of pace, isn't it? You establish thatJennifer was the one who called Max while I punch some holes in her alibi.
Television, Mildred, deadens the mind, corrupts the soul.
Hmm.
- Max? - Yeah.
Officer Kimble here.
May I help you? It's Steele.
Uh, you can't be too careful.
Max, would you recognize the voice that told you to come to the studio the night of the murder? Oh, uh, gee.
I- I don't know.
Say yes, Max.
We're desperate.
What is it now, Mr.
Steele? Oh.
Uh, I just thought I'd give you a call to see how you're faring up.
How do you think I'm faring, with the man I loved brutally murdered? Mozart! When the woman called, there was music playing in the background, just like that.
- What about the voice? - Mr.
Steele.
- Are you still there? - I'd stake my life on it.
You are.
Miss- Miss Davenport, rest assured.
Uh, we're closing in on this murderer even as we speak.
Yes.
Good day.
Good work, Max.
Now, back to your roll ends and remnants.
Go on, mate.
Fact: Steven Spooner was going to have you replaced as producer of the Atomic Man movie.
I'm a great admirer of Roger Foreman.
I think he'll add a lot to the production.
Fact: Your contract with Spooner for the Atomic Man rights carried a survivorship clause which means now that he's dead, you own it all.
His lawyer insisted on that clause.
Fact: Maxwell Donahue recognized your voice as the one who called him to the studio the night of the murder! A desperate man will say anything.
Under the circumstances, which one of us do you think the police will believe? You killed Steven Spooner! I was watching Atomic Man with Hazel at the exact moment Maxwell Donahue dispatched my beloved to that great soundstage in the sky.
Well, she has you there.
Only for the moment.
There's got to be a way to nail her for Spooner's murder.
So long as Hazel swears she was watching television with her we're gonna have a hell of a time proving she's guilty.
That's it.
The time.
She changed the time.
Mmm.
Nice try, Laura, but the station broadcasts Atomic Man at, uh, 11:00.
Columbo.
Peter Falk.
Universal Studios, 1975.
In an episode entitled "Playback," Oskar Werner kills his mother-in-law.
He seems to have the perfect alibi until Columbo discovers he used a videotape to alter the apparent time of the murder.
Are you suggesting Spooner wasn't killed at 11:00? No.
I'm saying Hazel wasn't with Jennifer at 11:00.
She only thought she was because Atomic Man was on.
But she was actually watching a tape.
Now all we have to do is find that tape.
If Columbo can do it, so can we.
The Fugitive.
Columbo.
- Really, Laura.
I'm learning more about television than I care to.
- Shh.
Come on.
Okay.
Let's go.
Have a look.
She had the means.
And the tape.
Shh, shh.
Shh, shh, shh, shh.
Psst.
I suggest we watch this one at home.
Come on.
Quick.
Let's go.
Go.
Max.
- Max.
- I warn you.
I'm armed- - and dangerous.
- It's Laura Holt.
Oh.
Miss Holt.
Uh- What are you doing here? I thought it was time you finally heard some good news.
- We're this close to clearing you.
- Oh, that's wonderful.
Atomic Man triumphs again.
Oh, no, no.
No, no.
I'm a- I'm afraid Atomic Man had very little to do with this triumph.
Oh, I don't know.
He gave me the inspiration to press on with the case.
Well, now, you know, it's- It's fans like you that have kept me going all these years.
I was, uh- I was four when the show first came on.
I couldn't even pronounce Atomic Man.
It came out Tom Mix Man.
And-And that's what my father always called it.
I used to- I used to climb up on his lap and we'd sit there, the two of us entranced by your exploits.
And I'd always cry when the show was over.
I wanted more.
Yeah.
So did I.
After the first season, my father wasn't around very much.
He and my mother- Ay.
That's, uh, how marriages go after a while, you know.
I guess he found more and more excuses to stay away from the house.
So, I'd have to climb up into his chair and watch you all by myself.
But I always made believe I was sitting in my daddy's lap with his arms around me the smell of his aftershave in my nostrils and we were both watching.
You gave me a lot of happiness, Max and a lot of memories I could call on after my father finally left for good.
- Where are you going? - To call the police.
Max, you're a fugitive.
Lie low.
Hide.
Laura, duck.
! My hero.
- First-rate, Kimble.
- Thank you, sir.
Congratulations.
You're both under arrest.
Ah.
Miss Holt.
Mr.
Steele has made your bail.
Would you please get Miss Holt's personal effects? Really, Miss Holt.
I'm absolutely astounded by your behavior.
I'm seriously gonna have to consider your position within this agency.
After all, I have my reputation to maintain.
- Good, huh? - You got the wrong man, Jarvis.
That's not what the evidence says.
Max was framed byJennifer Davenport.
I'll prove it.
Are you going to bully a confession out of her? Gee, I don't know if there's enough room on this sheet for harassment.
I assure you.
Miss Holt will not break any laws from now on.
I promise you of that.
A good doctor, the proper drugs, a little shock therapy- She'll be good as new.
I promise you.
Thank you.
Okay.
Check 'em and sign for 'em.
- What's this? - That's just something I bought at the Atomic Man convention.
You really ought to have 'em take off the studio property sticker next time.
It kind of makes it look stolen.
We are not looking at a breaking-and-entering charge here, are we, Miss Holt? Uh I think I'm gonna hang onto it just until the morning.
I just want to make sure Miss Davenport's collection is complete.
Uh, perhaps we can see the prisoner now.
Hmm? Things couldn't look better, Max.
You ought to see it from this side.
We know who killed Spooner.
- That's great.
- And with your help, we're going to prove it.
How can I help? By giving the performance of your life, mate.
Okay.
Mr.
Donahue since it is your confession, please start wherever you like.
It all started at a 5,000-watt radio station.
I was- Mr.
Donahue, I meant the night of the murder.
Oh.
Oh.
Um-Well, um after the guards, uh, tossed me off the lot, I, uh- uh, I doubled back and I jumped the fence.
I landed in a clump of hydrangea.
Hmm.
Looked around to make sure no one was watching and I slipped into the production building.
I crept down the hall.
One step at a time.
Planning, plotting knowing what I had to do.
Knowing what I'd been driven to do.
I arrived at Steven Spooner's office and I flung open the door! - There! - Make sure you get all of this! There sat Steven Spooner, the man who told me I was too old to be a superhero.
Then I saw it.
May I? My atomic scepter.
Actually, uh, this looks more like my proton rod.
Uh, anyway I took the scepter in my hand and it felt good.
And I crept up on Spooner and I hit him! - It's locked.
- Do something.
Max is going into his big finish.
Come on.
But I missed.
This made Spooner angry.
So, um, we fought.
Ha, ha! Uh, I- I struggled- and he struggled, and I- and I choked him! Yes.
I mean, no.
He died from a blow to the head.
- Then obviously I'm not the murderer.
- What are you talking about? Uh, well, I say I choked him, and you say I hit him.
One of us better get our story straight.
Oh.
Max was nothing short of brilliant tonight.
You see? Maybe television isn't the vast wasteland you think it is.
Hmm.
Perhaps I misjudged the medium.
An evil man, the Commandant dedicates his- Then again- Hmm.
Well- I don't mean to dampen your spirits, Lieutenant Columbo but the fact thatJennifer has a tape of Atomic Man - doesn't prove she played it the night of the murder.
- One thing at a time.
- Mmm.
- What's gotten into you anyway? You used to have such flair, such style.
- Always ready to take a chance, play a hunch.
- Hmm.
Well, one of us has to keep our feet on the ground, Laura.
You're really enjoying this role reversal, aren't you? Punching holes in my theories, threatening me with shock therapy.
Ah.
Merely trying to keep you from going off the deep end.
Unless, of course, uh, you'd like company.
Mmm.
Shut up and watch.
Go ahead and shoot.
The power of the atom is only realized when it is split.
Oh, dear God.
It's still the same.
I keep hoping I'll wake up, and I'll be watching Gone with the Wind or even Heaven's Gate.
Oh.
I'm sorry, Miss Holt but it took me a while to find anybody working at the station this early.
Now, here's the broadcast tape of the Atomic Man show.
Great.
I'm gonna have a shower, Mildred.
An evil man, the Commandant dedicates his life to the task of destroying the Atomic Man and all that is good.
What are we looking for? I'll let you know when we find it.
That's fair.
- Aha! - Aha? Aha what? Throw a towel on Mr.
Steele, Mildred.
We're going to make mincemeat out of a murderess.
You almost got away with it.
You had everything figured.
Everything except this tape.
I hope this dreadfully boring woman has a point to all this, DetectiveJarvis.
I gave up a racquetball game to be here today.
The least we can do is hear her out- before I bust her for stealing police property.
We simply borrowed it, Detective.
Steven Spooner dumped you.
You knew eliminating him would save your career.
Having seen Max at the press conference you knew you had the perfect scapegoat so you proceeded with the perfect crime.
You used a prop you knew Max had handled and then threw it out the window to attract attention.
When the guards saw you in your borrowed costume they naturally assumed you were Max.
How many ways can I say it? I was right here in this office, watching TVwith Hazel.
Ah, yes.
The perfect alibi.
And it was perfect.
Almost.
Like they say in Hollywood, Miss Holt, cut to the chase, eh? It was easy to figure out that you'd set the clock in your office ahead.
And playing a tape of Atomic Man for Hazel was brilliant.
Hazel.
Handy gadgets, these remote controls.
Watch very carefully.
Hazel, do you remember seeing this scene? Sure do.
- Miss Davenport? - Of course.
I was right here with Hazel.
- Is all this leading somewhere? - Really, Detective.
Forgetting Miss Holt's criminal tendency she is still a brilliant investigator- brilliant.
Laura, is all this leading somewhere? Good.
Good, good, good.
Here's how the show aired that night.
That's impossible.
No, Miss Davenport.
That's syndication.
When a program is broadcast for a local station its length is edited to allow for more commercials.
The scene you both claim you saw was unceremoniously cut in the middle.
You and your Atomic Man.
A killer caught by a lousy television show and a rotten commercial.
There's something poetic about that.
Although for the life of me, I can't think what.
Y- I- I- I just don't know how to thank you.
You never lost faith in me.
Well, after all, you are the Atomic Man, eh? Oh, no.
Not anymore.
Ooh.
Sorry to hear they killed the movie project.
No.
Don't- Don't be.
Uh, my agent just called and he's got me the title role in a new TV series.
- Laser Man.
- Oh! Hey, Max.
Well done.
I must say, Max.
Since I've known you I've developed a deeper satisfaction and gratification for the small screen.
You know something? Y-You're not, uh, such a bad-looking guy yourself.
You, uh, ever consider an acting career?